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New Recruits Tend To Drown A Lot
Ranger Six

[table of contents]
Combat Report - April 26, 2040
Personnel deployed:

Yana: All right, people. We've touched down; let's make a clean sweep of this place. Talbot and Farnan, you're our heavy-weapons people - if anyone spots Eeks holed up in inaccessible places, you guys toss some HE rounds Eekwards.

Everyone else, sweep the area - if you need heavy fire support, sing out.

(WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR)

Yana:What the hell is THAT? It's . . . jeez, it looks like it's wearing an old diving suit. It's not X-Com, that's for sure. Anyone know if this place does diving tours?

Talbot: Not according to the guidebooks I read.

Yana: All right then. I'm assuming it's hostile.

(PSHHEW-KAWHANG)

Calcinite: GURRAGHOW . . .

Yana: It's down, whatever it is.

(KTHUMP)

Talbot: . . .

Yana: Okaaay. Now we know what the Eeks want here - live specimens. Fan out, people - and if you see any Eeks with those weird launchers in hand, kill 'em!

(WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR)

Yana: . . . Another one of those diving-suit monsters. What is this, some kind of grade-Z Ed Wood movie set?

(PSHHEW-KAWHANG)

Calcinite: GURRAGHOW . . .

(VWOINK-BZZZ)

Farnan: Ugh . . . I don't feel so good. And . . . I'm hearing voices . . .

Yana: Farnan. Drop your weapon, now!

Farnan: . . . Sir?

Princeps: Do it, Farnan. The Eeks are trying to take control of your mind.

Farnan: Like, make me think you guys are aliens?

Yana: Exactly. Eek psionics cost X-Com a lot of good men in the first war.

(VWOINK-BZBZBZ)

Farnan: No, no, no, no, no!

(CLUNK)

Yana: . . . Well, shit. At least they only panicked him, so he's unarmed.

(VWOINK-BZBZBZ)

Arilou: Aliens, everywhere! EVERYONE'S AN ALIEN!

(VWOINK-BZBZBZ)

Farnan: Kill 'em! Kill 'em all!

Myst Rose: Crap. Wait, I see an Eek. Taking the shot.

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

Arilou: Ugh, what happened?

Yana: The Eeks got to you, Arilou.

Arilou: Oh, jesus - I didn't hurt anyone, did I?

Tracy: Yeah, there was one casualty - my wits! As in, "scared out of!"

(POINK-CRACKLE)

Tracy: YAUGH!

(VWOINK-BZBZBZ)

Arilou: No, no, oh god, no . . .

Myst: Yana, we've got an Eek in here - I think it might be the one responsible! I don't have a clear shot, though!

Yana: Hang on, Myst - I've got it covered!

(PSSHEW-KAWHANG)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

(WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR)

Yana: Well, hello there Mr. Eek-With-A-Non-Lethal-Weapon.

(PSHHEW-KAWHANG)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

dmboogie: Got something. Taking the shot.

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

nos: Hey, I've got an Eek near those moai. . . . Wait a minute, what are moai doing out here?

Arilou: Who cares? Kill the bitch - he's probably the one who's been fucking with my head.

nos: With pleasure.

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: . . .

Arilou: Thank you.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

nos: Whoa, hey, another animated diving suit!

(THUPP-CRACKLE THUPP-CRACKLE)

Calcinite: GURRAGHOW . . .

(WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR)

nos: Hey, we got a tunnel over here.

Myst: I see something moving in there.

(POINK-CRACKLE)

(THUPP-CRACKLE THUPP-CRACKLE)

(WHUMPH)

Aquatoids: EEEOW!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

(THUMP THUMP THUMP)

Yana: Why are you trying to beat up my tank?

(PSHHEW-KAWHANG)

Calcinite: GURRAGHOW . . .

Yana: Looks like that was the last one. Let's go home, people.
18th Dec '10 8:01:03 PM flag for mods
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