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New Recruits Tend To Drown A Lot
Ranger Six

[table of contents]
Combat Report - January 15, 2040
Personnel deployed to combat zone:

Yana (via remote link): Okay, people, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, this is a daylight mission, so it should be a bit easier. The bad news, as you can probably guess, is that some goddamn pencil-necked geek in the quartermaster's department fucked up our last requisition, so we don't have the Coelecanth yet.

Princeps: Goddamnit!

Yana: Hey, I don't like the situation any more than you do - but we've got a job to do, so let's get cracking. Kwas, take up position near the front of Triton-One. Joanna, you cover him. Myst Rose, you head southwest towards the top of that lava flow with syd.

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Myst: . . . Lot of volcanic activity around this site.

syd: What do you expect? We're in the middle of the Atlantic here.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

syd: Hostile contact. Taking the shot.

(WHIRR-THWAP)

syd: Missed!

Myst: Firing phosphor round!

(PSSHEW-CRUMP)

Myst: Burn, motherfucker, BURN!

Yana: Princeps, Gwen, there's another hostile to the south of Triton-One. See if you can't put it out of our misery.

Gwen: Our pleasure.

(CLUNK CLUNK CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

(WHIRR-THWAP)

Princeps: No dice.

(WHIRR-THWAP WHIRR-THWAP)

Aquatoid: EEEEOW!

Gwen: I got 'im.

Yana: Kwas, Joanna, head southeast. See what you can find.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Kwas: I see . . . nothing.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

(WHSS-THUD)

Myst: GRENADE!

(WHUMPH)

syd: Shit, I think my visor got scratched by some shrapnel.

Myst: Don't worry about it. At least that Eek is still there.

syd: Yeah, I see him. Taking the shot.

Myst: I'm with ya.

(WHIRR-THWAP PSHHEW-CRUMP)

Myst: . . . How the fuck can he still be standing?!

syd: Beats me.

Gwen: Let me take a potshot at him.

(WHIRR-THWAP)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

syd: Wow. Tough little bastard, wasn't he?

Myst: No kidding.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Joanna: There's something behind that ridge. FIRE IN THE HOLE!

(WHSS-THUD)

(WHABOOM)

(KSHHOW-CRACKLE)

Joanna: AUGH!

Kwas: MOTHER FUCKER! It got Joanna!

(PSSHEW-CRUMP PSSHEW-CRUMP)

Princeps: Take it down!

(WHIRR-THWAP WHIRR-THWAP)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

Princeps: Who killed it? Wasn't me . . .

Gwen: Nor me.

Tracy: I couldn't even see the bastard.

Kwas: Wasn't me. I've got a Gas Cannon, anyway, and whoever downed it got it with a Jet Harpoon. Maybe he bled out from Joanna's grenade?

Princeps: What the hell, a kill's a kill. One less Eek to worry about.

Yana: Harkness, Benton, get out there and back the rest of the team up. Tracy, I want you and nos to guard the Triton. These guys are learning, and pretty fast too.

syd: I'm going to take cover by that black smoker there.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Gwen: Climb, climb to the top of the world . . .

Benton: You do that then.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Kwas: I see the enemy vessel. Looks like those Barracudas did some serious damage to it.

Yana: DUP warheads will do that. They're basically giant contact-fused Claymore mines loaded with depleted uranium pellets.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

syd: Nothing over here except a lot of volcanic activity.

Harkness: Well, don't get cocky. Just because we can't see them doesn't mean they can't see us.

Kwas: I'm going to try to shed some light on the inside of the downed sub.

(PSSHEW-CRUMP PSSHEW-CRUMP)

Kwas: . . . Well, I don't see anything.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Gwen: Yeah. That sub's not going anywhere soon.

Kwas: I'm switching to AP rounds.

(CHK-CHUNK!)

Benton: Moving up to scope out the sub. Cover me.

Princeps: On it.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

syd: Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Gwen: I see one dead Eek in the wreckage.

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

Princeps: Hang on. I think I saw something moving in there!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Benton: You were right. Taking the shot!

(WHIRR-THWAP WHIRR-THWAP)

Benton: Missed!

Princeps: I can't get a clear shot.

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

(WHIRR-THWAP)

(WHUMPH)

Benton/Aquatoid: AUGH!/EEEOW!

Princeps: . . . Dammit, Benton bought the farm. Well, at least the Eek died too - serves it right.

Myst: Looks like it was the last one, too.

Princeps: Good. Let's get out of here.
18th Dec '10 4:53:38 PM flag for mods
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