Capter 13 Linda beutiful dark'ness ravenway Taracroft vs. B'Loody Mary
The Cat Fight
of a lifetime!
B'loody Mary returns from her meeting with Dumbledore's Alzheimer's to confront Linda with her new edler wand, which glowed a very dark red, much darker than red.
Linda is pissed that she had sex with a Sleeper Agent
, as she could have gotten some Squicky
Sleeper Agent STD. Linda shouts "Why r u betrayin' me?"
despite the reason being evident to anyone with half a brain.
B'loody Mary points her "Womb" (which I really hope was just a misspelling of wand) at Linda, who flew backwurds, and said, "Blast it." [geddit?]
She then uses "Avara Kedabra." The blast wuz red instead of green cuz Linda was pissed off. And it turns Orange when she's greedy, Yellow when she's afraid, Blue when she has a Hope Spot, Indigo when she shows compassion (which is never), and Violet when she's in "Love"
B'Loody Mary then grabs Avril Lavinge out of Hammerspace
and uses her as a Human Shield
. The Author takes pains to point out that Wut she did was wurse then kicking a dog for absolutely no gud reson.
I agree, even if B'loody Mary had a reason.
Linda then uses Ultima
but B'loody Mary survives the attack and did a wun winged angle. She truned into a big demon with for wings, big claws on both hands and legs, and an ugly face.
But I tought you said she was an Angle!
B'loody Mary shouts that this "preppy" form was from Dumblidore's Alzheimer's. Gee, way to give away secrets, B'loody Mary!
But Vampire uses a sudden Quick Attack
on B'loody Mary and she flees the battle. It appears to be a victory, despite the continued prescence of Hitler and the Servants
, who should have acted to support her instead of just lazing around and waiting for her to be defeated.
B'loody Mary then went to Corupted Self who told her, "Dun wory, I hav a new sleeper agent hu will get yur job done
(Better than you)."
Then he killed her
and Barbecued her Corpse
And then a door opened frum Azakaban. Out walked Mystery of Magic Cornelia Fuck and a dark man hu would caus Lidna truble...
I bet it's either Joran Vanderslout or Brainwashed
!Draco, who Volxemort gave to the preps.