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The Great Nitpicky Live Blog of El Goonish Shive
Strips 601-610 (Totally Realistic Highschool Situations)Strip 601
- Susan's face is a very creepy abomination. Especially that sixth panel. Especially when the fifth panel contradicts the facial structure of the sixth.
- And Sarah has no waist. She's just a tube.
- Silly Susan, not realizing Tedd being immature was a sign of maturity, especially when he didn't stop when you didn't join...
- I get being immature for the sake of having fun, I really do, but the minute someone acts out of the ordinary, you need to stop and reassess the situation. Tedd should have apologized, the prick. Susan didn't apologize, but she did seem regretful and apologetic, while Tedd wasn't. I'm not saying Susan shouldn't be regretful, she should, just that Tedd is being a total douche here.
- Yeah, he agrees to be nicer to her, but it's just not the same.
- And of course, Elliot and Sarah are here to ruin a "touching" moment with COMEDY. Because COMEDY makes everything better!
- Even though I find the joke amusing enough, it's still really pointless and horribly misplaced. It is once again the all too telling sign of how much Shive sucks at just telling a story. He feels the need to be funny at all times, even when it doesn't work, like this time.
- Good news? Shive took my advice!◊
- Bad news? We return to the classic 'Grace angsts and we feel sorry for her' schtick.
- Not only that, but the angst is so...shtuuuupid. I'm not saying it's not realistic, just very narmy. And clichéd. So. Fricking. Clichéd.
- Off the top of my head, here are some slightly less cliched ways he could have done this (not necessarily IC):
- Grace replays the fight in her head over and over again, trying to figure out what she did 'wrong.'
- Grace is trying to remember the fight, but the adrenaline has blanked the specific details, causing her to worry and be all sad.
- Grace thinks about how even in that form, she could not save anyone, and that she sucks at this.
- Grace is just depressed not because of one specific thing, but because of every single straw that has been piled on, and as a result is just feeling shitty.
- Grace misses her dad and brothers.
- And much much more. I am not saying they would all turn out well, but they are a bit less normal than the typical idea that someone does not deserve X.
- And now it seems like Shive is going two for two. This is the second strip with an immediate transgression into comedy.
- The second panel has them silhouettes. Why? hell if I know. It looks really bad, especially since they are not very distinct looking silhouettes.
- For specifics about the magic that are silhouettes, see this link
- As Antenna-less Grace, she and Susan now have VERY similar bangs.
- Thank you for telling us she is out of it. How else would we have known how horrible Grace was feeling, and how sorry we should feel for her?
- And so Grace is going to school with Ellen, Justin and Nanase. Why? Because Shive wants to. There is no in-universe explanation that could justify it, and that's final.
- Similar situations. Either Grace is either a bisexual female clone that went psychotic and tried to ruin the original's life only to revert back at the last second and now has to go to a different school than the original because it would be too messy to explain, or Ellen was an experimentally bred assassin that never went to school and was never educated to do anything but fight but can still mysteriously read and write for some reason...
- Hard enough? How about impossible. No fucking ability to aquire trivia will save you from the fucking abomination that is math. Think about it. Highschool? What are they teaching? Algebra at the lowest, Calc and Stats at the highest. In the middle, you have trig, so lets say she is learning trig.
- Someone who has never learned their times tables is going to be learning about trig.
- Then, she will have to take an exam at the end of a year based on half a year's worth of knowledge. Now, while I'm basing my exam knowledge on my state, I am fairly sure every other state ever has had end of the year exams in some shape or form. They might not be state tests like mine are, but there are still going to be tests.
- OK, so no working knowledge of math. Since homeschooling is impossible to do, as is getting a tutor, they can just put her in the low-rank classes. No big.
- Oh wait, they can't. She has the exact same schedule as Ellen. So either Ellen has decided that college doesn't matter, and she'll just take a bunch of classes she probably took in ninth grade if not lower, or Grace is going to be taking high level classes. Considering how , by the time she gets to highschool, she doesn't know there have been any world wars and does not know how to fill out a bubble sheet thingy, I highly doubt she has been doing any catching up on her schoolwork.
- Lets assume Grace is gifted with math, and is somehow able to permanently memorize things that have been drilled into our heads since the age of five in the time of a couple of weeks. Lets assume she can comprehend algebra and geometry in the same amount of time as well. Lets assume Grace is able to make a habit of showing her work, labeling her units and all that jazz in that amount of time as well. Lets assume that on top of that, she is able to understand how to graph things, and how the 360 degree system works (in degrees AND radians) and the accompanying memorizing that comes with that as well. Lets assume she is a gift from the math gods sent down to understand all things mathy.
- We still have plenty of other subjects to get through.
- History. Everything from naming the states to what the three ships were that CC sailed in. The ancient empires, the river valleys, all the revolutions, economics wise and war wise. Or hell, remember when history just used to cover 'society' and the needs and wants of it? She wouldn't even understand the importance of Godwin's Law! Magna Carta. Religion. She. Knows. None of this. She has to start completely from scratch.
- English. We are going to read Midsummer's Night Dream. Quote a line from it that is an allusion to Greek Mythology. Write an essay dealing with the symbolism of Animal Farm. Now tell me what a proper noun is.
- Science. Scientific Method. Go.
- Foreign Language. Not even gonna touch this one.
- And what's worse? You need all of these to fucking graduate. You can't just waltz in mid year, mid highschool with no degree to your name. No. Fuck you gov't. Fuck you for handing this girl everything on a silver platter and letting her skip 10 years of school, so she may have a social life full of drama and Ellen!
- Fuck you!
- You know, I just noticed how weird and abnormal Ellen's hair looks...
- I am sure everyone read Shive's mind.
- "Blarg, so...much...characterization...so...much...plot...not...enough
fanservice hilarity...you know what this needs? A PARTY!"
- It makes total sense, right? This is the type of
romance fanservice drama HILARITY you've been waiting for!
- IT'S GOING TO BE FUNNY AND AWESOME AND GODDAMMIT BE EXCITED BECAUSE I KNOW NONE OF YOU HAVE EVER HAD THIS MANY FRIENDS OR WILL EVER GO TO A PARTY THIS AWESOME SO WE WILL TAKE A BREAK FROM AWESOME PLOTS LIKE THE CHILD LEFT BEHIND AND LORD TEDD TO FOCUS ON A PARTY!
- Dammit Mr. Verres. The no-mouth trait is so 2003.
- Ellen. Scientifically proven in-comic to be horribly and inconsistently characterized.
- I mean, look at that title. Shive knows he sucks, and is planning on using that suckiness for every possible advantage.
- You know, we never see them like this again.
- It makes me wonder what they actually did...
- And why Grace looks male and Ellen looks like a pole dancer.
- Sarah being mad at Grace. Legitish reason, if still badly done. Naturally, I bring this up because it totally gets shoved aside and handwaved and ignored and in general fucked up because that would make Sarah important now wouldn't it?
- So. In the gender flipping comic that has not had gender flipping in a very long long time, guess what the part gimmick is. Go on. Guess.
- Man, it is a good thing girls can't wake up with morning wood.
- And look, a conflict resolved hastily offscreen. Whee.
- Oh. Yeah.
- —clears throat—
- YOU. ELLEN. HAVING GAY SEX. NOSOTROS ENTENDEMOS!
- Hey look! Noah! Background character that's actually an important character! Aren't I a clever little weasel! Ohohohoho!
- If only there were ever any ACTUAL background characters, this might be a bit subtle.
- What is Justin's expression in the second panel?
- What is Justin's expression in the second panel?
- Is he nervous?
- Making a bad joke?
- Being sarcastic?
- Trying to avoid a topic?
- And behold, Shive is now resorting to crappy 'supplementary materials' footnotes.
- Character development. This is not how you do it.
- Luckily, Cakster already reviewed that strip, so y'all should already know about it, unless you've been understandably avoiding him and anything he spawns.
- Nanase is ashamed. She reads porn. How shamefully shameful.
- In other news, while Nanase no longer wears skimpy clothing, she seems to have transferred it over to Diane.
- How that passes the dress code is beyond me.
- The first panel as unlocked Emo Justin. The world will never be the same.
- Guess which girl gets the most sympathetic portayal. Go on. Guess.
- You know, the fact that Diane will later be revealed to look exactly like Susan has become a lot more obvious since she has the same nose and the same half-lid look.
- Who does this? Who tries to get people to be bffles with them if they can't stand them?
- And why wouldn't they want Justin? Have they not heard of the Gay Best Friend stereotype? They'd probably want him as their manslave.
- You can tell she's a Libby type persona because she rejects people because of their gaydom. All mean people do this and all people that do this are mean.
- Foolproof logic.
Dear god. Shoot me now. We have until May 2005 until Grace's party starts. ;_;
2nd Mar 11
Yeah. Shive has lines that are not bad. They increase as time goes on. My theory is, he thinks of an amusing line, then tries to figure a way to insert it into the story.
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2nd Mar 11
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