Ugh. Even I'm disgusted with that title. It doesn't even make sense in context. And I only have two more Star Wars Movies. I still have to think of something to do after that. Hmm.
- Holy shit. What the hell do I put for that first panel? I say action lines. It's a hybrid, but it still has the lines. Hybrids are even more annoying. That background tells us nothing about what is going on. Is he standing at a corner? A darkened room?
- The implication here is that Gun Guy considers himself lucky because he found a tied-up woman in scantily-clad clothing. So he is... Going to rape her? I guess? I mean, sure, it's unsurprising if it's supposed to be anime, but I doubt that their karate teacher recommended a rape hentai to them.
- And naturally, this would be something the whole family could enjoy!
- And because Ellen is such a well-developed character, of course she enjoys the idea of dressing up as a bunny girl. Because that costume looks incredibly comfortable. This is where I just get angry at Shive. This would be like a person with a rape fetish who wrote a Shonen manga suddenly inserting a "rape" arc into their story, quickly forgetting it, and continuing. It's out of place, and just comes off as trite.
- Aside from that, though, the shading in the anime portion is nice.
- Of course Nanase sleeps nude. Don't all girls?
- What is happenning in the bottom third panel? I know she's turning the light on, but what is she doing? Is there a switch? Is she pulling a cord? A knob? I can't make heads or tails of it.
- Apart from that, there is nothing of interest about this strip.
- Those aren't backgrounds. Those are props. Put a frickin "B&N" on the wall. SOMETHING. SOMETHING TO SHOW ME THAT I CAN STILL FEEL. YOU MAKE ME NUMB, SHIVE. NUMB.
- And I call BS on this strip. I was in a borders earlier last week (it's having a going-out-of-business sale). I checked the art section (as it was directly next to the 'adult' section, and hey, I'm not one to pass up buy-one-get-one-free pornography), and I can inform you that the art section is absolutely free of pornographic content. It has naked people doing normal things. So this joke makes no sense. And yet I'm acting like I'm surprised by this.
- Sarah has no self control and speaks her thoughts out loud with no regard for the people around her. Could you imagine a person actually saying that out loud to themselves? It would just sound... Silly.
- And even if she did say it out loud, Susan knows Sarah. She knows that she's an artist. Why would she be so flabbergasted by this?
- I know this is more of a universal complaint than one directed at El Goonish Shive, but no one ever makes the pose that Sarah makes in the second panel. Do it now. Feel how awkward it is. If you did that while explaining something to someone, they would want to know what the hell you were pointing at.
- And the feminist can not see any form of nudity. Because she's a feminist. And she hates nudity.
- And a book titled "nude poses" would have exactly that- nude poses. So what the hell is Sarah so angry about? I can't even tell. Is is it supposed to be pornography?
- That seems to be a problem that I am having more and more with El Goonish Shive. I simply don't get shit. Whether I don't understand what Shive is drawing, what a character's intentions are, where something is supposed to be taking place, or even what the hell is happening, it's always something. It might even be my fault! I don't know. But it's friggin annoying.
- Good lord. What the hell is happenning with Susan's hand in the first panel? Seriously. Look at it. There's a problem when I am unable to tell whether a hand is meant to be the right or left. Both arms are in poses that don't correspond with it. It looks like she has her arms crossed and a third hand is just "draped" over them.
- Ah, yes. Adult magazines. Playboy Centerfolds are always in normal, everyday positions.◊
- So the point is that she didn't have porn, but that the people were in non-normal poses? What the hell was she reading!?
- And Susan is a bad joker, as her suggestion sounds like a legitimate one, with nothing hinting that it is a joke in any fashion. She even lists the pros and cons of it.
- Unless we are talking about masturbation, self-insertion is never a good thing.
- Learn from your creator, Sarah. Look at your surroundings. The bleak, nothingness of the backgrounds. The dull look in your eyes. Your rapidly changing height. Your WHATTHEFUCKISTHAT profile. Nothing good will come of this.
- And as for Susan, is that it? That's the joke?! The punchline?! "A monster named Susan?!" MARMADUKE. MARMADUKE IS FUNNIER THAN THIS.
- Susan's hair looks like a scraggally comb. I just noticed that.
- - El_Goonish_Shive Elliot_Dunkel Justin_Tolkiberry Nearphotison Susan_Pompoms webcomic.png TEDD IS A PERVERT!
- Heh. That image is funnier than anything Dan Shive has ever drawn.
- And I am brought back down to earth by the realization that this is yet another of Dan Shive's "OMG WOMEN POSING IN THE MIRROR AND LOOKING AT THEMSELVES SO HAWT."
- Shit like that is why I don't feel bad for him when I read shit like this. You are alone, Shive. Because you can't keep your friggin fetishes to yourself. Or at least admit that they;re fetishes. To just hide them like this and use them as plot devices is the same shit that Chris-Chan does. You're not on that level, yet, of course. But God damn it, you're trying.
- Heh, Before I post the next picture, I'd just like to say that I am incredibly happy to state that typing "El Goonish Shive Porn" into Google yields four of my various posts on TV Tropes on the first page alone. I'm internet famous in the El Goonish Shive porn submarket.
- With that stated, - El_Goonish_Shive Ellen_Dunkel Mrs._Dunkel Nearphotison webcomic.png TEDD IS A PERVERT!
- Elliot and Tedd: Just two guys, venturing into the oblivion of blanks and solids to get some Dalmation Ice Cream.
- Also, slenderman legs. Second panel. Check 'em.
- Okay, first thing I'll give him: Decent hair blowing in the second panel.
- Second of all, I am not a fan, and probably never will be one, Tedd, so carry on, free of worry.
- Tedd's eyes change into a completely different shape when he is in the dark, for some reason.
- Oh, wonderful. I was hoping we'd get some more transgendered stuff. My dick hadn't wilted enough.
- Damnit. Goonmanji? I loved the movie "Jumanji" as a kid. Is this asshole going to ruin it?
- AW SHIT MOTHERFUCKING BACKGROUNDS STEP THE FUCK BACK
- THREE BACKGROUNDS GOD DAMN I THINK I JUST ORGASMED.
- SO WHAT IF ONE OF THEM IS AN EXACT COPY OF THE ONE BEFORE IT?! HE STILL MADE BACKGROUNDS, GOD DAMNIT.
- SWEET JESUS SWEET RELIEF! THIS IS AWESOME!
- O WONDER! HOW MANY GOODLY CREATURES THERE ARE HERE! HOW BEAUTEOUS MANKIND IS! O BRAVE NEW WORLD! THAT HAS SUCH PEOPLE IN'T!
- First panel background character...
- Second panel background character...
- ...Fuck you, Shive. Seriously.
Ugh. Now I feel violated. Again. And yet, like a good little bitch, I'll keep coming back with my asshole gaping, begging for more. Here's your God damn chart.◊
It seems to be progressing as normal. Maintaining the status quo. Oddly, it... It doesn't seem to have changed shape for a while. Almost like it was like that on purpose...
...Wait a minute...
MASONS! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! I SWEAR IT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO! MASOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!