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The Great Nitpicky Live Blog of El Goonish Shive
Mr AHR
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[table of contents]
Strips 431-440 (End of the Not Aliens)
Content:
- I will definitely admit it, Mr. Verre's line here is pretty cute. It's funny, amusing, subtle, what else have you. It also perfectly highlights the idiocy of giving your son powerful and dangerous alien technology.
- Don't you just love a win win situation?
- Now, Elliot's last lines are OK, but at the same time, are pretty cheesy. I think dual creeped out faces might have been more effective than a lampshade.
Art:
- You know what I've noticed? Shive draws REALLY small mouths. And that just bugs me.
- What the hell is going on with those gradients?
- Even uryoums must fit with standard sexual dynamics. Shorter female! More physically fit male! Long hair for girl! Short hair for guy! I know that TEDD is the one that designed these, but don't you think that the Uryuoms would want a CHOICE in what they come out looking like?
- I mean, it gets implied later that these are not preset forms, Tedd just V'd them. Which means that somehow they were turned into human gender specific varients. So, if they were hit with just the V1 version, there should not be obvious sexual differences like that. Of course, that doesn't show up till MUCH later in the series, so it's prolly just a shitty point of continuity marching on.
- What happened to William being shy about not having clothes, and Gillian being fine?
- BECAUSE!
- Wait...
- You know, Tedd's entire spiel can be summarized as "Uryoums: They do not have physical attractions. Only emotional."
- See how easy that is Tedd? SEE HOW EASY IT IS TO SUMMARIZE?
- I will admit, the hammer joke did make me laugh first time around, just because it's a good brick joke, BUT the implications around it don't really make much sense. Suddenly, Gillian has this concept of jealousy? Why isn't she interested? Why wouldn't they both go around rating everyone they saw in a bout of interest with their new shiny form?
- I mean, is Gillian MAD, or is she indifferent? She doesn't LOOK mad! She looks fine! And if they place emphasis on emotional connections, physical connections should be such a strange and new concept to them that they should be fine with that part of lust, at least temporarily.
- But yet, at the same time, THEY WERE RAISED ON PLANET EARTH. Are you telling me they have NO concept of this up until this point?
Content:
- Apparently, Tedd was able to replicate alien technology not available anywhere else. Lovely. That's like trying to replicate a microchip. With Knex.
- ...
- DOES NO ONE SEE HOW EFFING HORRIBLE AND CREEPY IT WOULD BE TO GROW UP AS AN URYUOM. This isn't just "no dating till you're in college" strict, this is "only where THIS type of clothing, play with THESE types of toys, hang out with THESE type of people, and you can only date THESE types of uryuoms!"
- I mean...what the FUCK.
- WHY IS TEDD COMPLETELY FINE WITH THIS?
- WHY ARE THEY COMPLETELY FINE WITH THIS?
- WHY IS THIS INTRODUCED SO NONCHALANTLY AS EXPOSITION WHAT THE FUCK.
...I mean...what the fuck...what the fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK?
Art:
- The problem with Tedd's face is that Shive is not used to drawing it. Ever since he went perma-noglasses, he's started to look REALLY weird.
- See that shirt Gillian is wearing? The one that says "Human"? Yeah. That's why nobody worries if they're alien or not.
- How clever.
- Now readers, can YOU tell me what's so important about those last three panels?
- —blink—
- That's RIGHT! Exposition! Good job!
Art:
- Don'tcha love how Grace is all terrified while Tedd and Elliot are totally chillaxish/determined. Yeah, it makes sense due to characterization, but, damn it, Unfortunate Implications! So there. NYEH!
- I mean, OK, Grace is freaked out. I get it. She had a bad past. So this means that suddenly her antennae are all droopy, and she goes into full out cuddle-protect-me mode. I think that if she just went into a more neurotic shivery mode, I'd be more fine with it. But maybe not.
- This joke is REALLY badly done. I had to read it thrice before I got an inkling about what it was supposed to be about. It's pretty obvious Shive knew what he wanted the punchline to be, but could not figure out how to set it up.
Art:
- Those small mouths are REALLY starting to grate on me. Especially Elliot in the second panel. Not helped by his eyes that make him look semi-mentally retarded.
- Seriously, don't mess with eye shapes like that. It never works well.
- ...OK, so...what's wrong with a walk in the park? It sounds like your standard hang out thing, only since it's with a girlfriend, and it's all alone, it's considered a date, No big.
- Elliot. A romantic. A trait that will never ever show up again.
- Tedd. A jackass. We're supposed to like him.
- Sarah. Worried about fashion. Remember guys, her "prefereces" are not defined by her gender. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Heh, Sarah certainly has changed since then, hasn't she? From what I can tell, it happened around the Lunchtable Revelations plot.
- But enough of that. We all know what the REAL problem is.
- What obituary is actually formatted like that?
...
...
ALL
OFMYHATE.
YOU.
Shive you goddamn no good dirty little hypocritical hypocrite. Yes, Shive. YES IT IS FUCKING OBVIOUS WHAT SHE'S SAYING. AND YOU KNOW WHO DOES THIS A LOT?
YOU!
YOU!
YOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
OK, so you MIGHT not do this as much with say, cursing (which you do do though) but you DO do this with any type of thing that could be misinterpreted as sexual.
No. It's not an art choice. It's not a moral choice. It's not a story choice. There is a way to do things without making it sexual. But noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Instead lets make everything super ultra vague and super ultra innocent BUT LETS REFERENCE NON INNOCENT THINGS AS MUCH AS WE CAN!
BECAUSE THAT'S OK! BECAUSE IT'S NOT REAL SEX! I DON'T NEED TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT!
You do the EXACT SAME THING with your risqué things, only you pass it off as a joke, or you keep all the naughty things JUST off camera, or you force your forum to not discuss it in any more detail than you have. You. Are. No. Better.
And you know what? Gender flipping is NOT censor worthy. Just check out Nickelodeon. They've been crossdressing their main leads for quite a while. So FAIL to that. And FAIL to your messed up standards Mr. Shive!
—
Strip 437
Art:
- OH. MY. GOD. LOOK AT THAT BLUE GRADIENT! Oh it is TERRIFYING! I am just shaking in my boots right now, don't know about you guys.
- You know, Sarah and Elliot walking nonchalantly was probably one of the WORST ideas for a poster. It just clashes. At least for The Sister Arc there was a sense of drama or action or chaos, however badly and shoddily done. It was clear what Shive wanted from it. Here? I have NO friggin clue.
- This is where an ensemble cast would have WORKED. Ah well. =.=
- And so Cerebus Syndrome begins. There will be cursing. There will be blood. There will be off screen abuse. There will be vague references to rape. There will be references to murder. There will be absolutely no character development because this is plot.
- BUT FIRST!
- RECAP-EXPOSITING, BITCHES!
- Damien. The non-silhouetted guy that is not Hedge or Mr. Verres. He looks like a cat.
- Grace. The only girl in those silhouettes. The only one to be all weepy. Yep.
- Is this necessary? No. And you know what?
- I REFUSE to read the expo, and this time I mean it. I have already read it, transcribed about it, and complained about it. I know far far FAR too much about this series than I am comfortable knowing.
- I think a small amount of dialogue with one silhouette each would have worked a LOT better.
- Oh, and this is stupid. WE DON'T NEED A RECAP YOU ARSE. IT IS OCTOBER 2003. WE HAVE BEEN WAITING SINCE MARCH 2002.
- GET.
- ON.
- WITH.
- IT...
- ...
- After the new years cause I'm gonna be a total cocktease right now, and stop here. Yeah. I totally used that title to mislead you. I'm a fucking bastard.
