The Great Nitpicky Live Blog of El Goonish Shive

Mr AHR

Strips 284-290 (JUSTIN IS GAY AND THUS HAS GAY PROBLEMS RELATING TO HIS GAYNESS FOR HE IS GAY)

You know, just a thought, he never changes his avatar again after this. That was rather pointless then.

Also, maybe it's my prolonged exposures to bishonen and biseinen type characters, but Shive looks guyish.

I mean, his eyebrows are thickened, low ponytail as opposed to one that goes up, he's no longer as big eyed, and his outfit is one that is not commonly worn by females, even Ellen's version was fundamentally different.

So...am I missing something?

—

Sketchbook Strip 022503

Bad move Shive. Bad move. We can't be shocked by the sad story if you say upfront there is one.

I also worry for you Shive. I worry for you a lot. This doesn't tell me "Oh wow, Lord Tedd is gonna be an awesome character full of complex and moral amibigious ideals!"

I think "You're...you're gonna start feeling sorry for him aren't you? You're gonna end up making him an anti-climax aren'tcha?"

It's not a normal reaction I would have, but it's one I have for Shive, and the way he tends to handle his characters (like Vlad.)

—

Sketchbook Strip 030203

Gilphon, AC. I love you guys, but if you honestly did not get they were meant to be together by this point, you need to work on your reading comprehension skills.

Well, OK, to be fair, both of you archived binged, right? So you missed the sketchbook. HOWEVER! For someone who WASN'T binging, and was reading it on the day to day basis he updated, it would indeed be blatantly obvious.

So, you guys are off the hook, but my analyzation stands firm!

Now, onto the REAL problem with this strip.

Shive, I know you lampshaded it. I know you are indeed aware of your fetishization of lesbians.

That. Does not. Make it. OK!

Calling a random lesbian make out session in your sketchbook a 'parody' does not justify it! It's hiding! It's like saying "yeah, I know I draw boobs a lot, but it's OK! Cause I'm aware of it!"

But it's not that simple. He's still drawing it, posting it for the world to see, and letting his name be associated with it. We all have our things. But you can't justify letting author appeals (especially sexual ones) into your story on the basis that it was lampshaded, or because you made a joke about it.

To quote Linkara:

"Leave your masturbation fantasies OUT of it!"

Also, on a more pathetic note, this reminds me of the time I wrote a scenario very similar to this. ^{it's a long story}

It bothers me because it reminds me that the only differance between Shive and myself is execution, with multiple plot points / character devices starting off very similarly. BUT, maybe I am reading too much into things and should just relax.

—

Strip 284

Content:

Wheee. Justin character development time! Only not!
Oh Shive, you, you and your author tractness. I understand how annoying these pricks can be, but much like Tony, you seriously lack any imagination when coming up with these insults.
The "Ah, memories" title makes me worried. Namely because it might mean Shive overheard a similar conversation (or was part of one) at one point or another. This vaguely bothers me. I like to have more faith in the geeks of america.

—

Strip 285

Content:

Justin is too BORING of a character! We need to make another main character appear!
Seriously, we could not have had at least ONE little characterization nodule that did NOT have to do with being gay before we brought on the Nanase brigade?
Considering the stereotypicalness of Nanase's parents, you'd think she would not be allowed to watch TV. Or at least, be told to go study 24/7. You think I'm exageratting, I just wish I was.
Ewwww. Nanase is watch sports? Amongst GIRLS? LESBO!

—

Strip 286

Art:

The text overlaying in the last panel and the one above it is a nice touch.

Content:

I am going to find one of these comic stores. I want to know what it's like to be the only attractive one in a store! I'm SURE there are no female geeks EVER.
What time period is this, honestly? The 1980s?

—

Strip 287

Content:

Remember kids, scaring the shit out of a kid is OK if he has a different opinion than you!
Fuck you Justin, and fuck your stupid soul. Oooh, the kid was being a rude brat. Grow up! More importantly, learn some fucking manners!
The kid is in what? Middle School? Yeah, he's gonna be a whiny little douchebag! No need to sink to his level.
And, of course, Justin never gets called out on this, because CLEARLY, there was nothing wrong with what he did.

—

Strip 288

Art:

That'd be Melissa, and hoo boy does her character design scare me. Not sure why, but there is something about it that just screams "30 year old woman pretending to be 15"
Note that, despite the fact she seems to be wearing a business suit thing (second female character to do so. Oh u.) it appears to be quite form fitting, AND yet somehow have sleeves that stick out.
Also, what's with her entrance pose? Her legs seem off to me.

Content:

Hey guys, lawl, did I mention Nanase is like, japanese, lawl?

—

Strip 289

Art:

Sweater. It's form fitting. Blargle flargle.

Content:

I...wow.
First of all, lets address the basic fact. Justin's first conflict, involves him being gay. What. A. Shocker.
Second of all, NO ONE IS THIS OBSESSED. Most girls would probably go the route of assuming the guy they liked that dumped them because he claimed he was gay was a fucking douchebag that should go to hell.
Third of all, she's not being that big of a bitch. She clearly has good intentions, albeit warped. No need to demonize her, Nanase/Shive.
And finally, I bet you thought I was being hyperbolic, Cakman/non-readers of EGS, about Nanase being a whore. I wish I was.

—

Strip 290

Art:

In the third panel, Nanase looks a LOT like Ellen.
And once again, the sweater seems to be made of a material that clings to the shape of the body. The fact that the only difference between the sweater and the salesgirl outfit is the fact that the sleeves on the sweater are more diagonal, is disturbing.

Content:

Author Tract time! Wheeee!
Why couldn't have Justin done this himself with some random co-worker or other friend? Because Nanase. Obviously.
Why is he even a main character? It's not like he ever does anything.
You know, I hate to spoil, but Justin and Melissa were friends for a long time before that incident, if I'm not mistaken. She was apparently dead set on getting him all that time. So...it's just a CHALLENGE for her? Wha?

—

Tune in next time for Ellen, more powers given to Grace and more pointless filler that does not even have character development in it to make it interesting!

11th Dec '10 1:12:32 PM flag for mods

comments

Cakman:

284

Justin is gay!
Horses are majestic creatures.◊
I have always been of the opinion that calling something "gay" excessively is just silly, in the same way that calling something "stupid" excessively is silly. I really think that there is no inherent problem, though, using the word as slang for "bad". Eventually, it'll turn the retro corner, and mean "good" again, just like "bad" eventually did.
And honestly, I think the point in this comic could have been a lot better made if he used gay a bit more sparingly. They're using it TOO much, to the point where it just becomes overt that he's trying to make a point, which it should always be a rule of thumb not to do.
And why can you not just call it "Magic: The Gathering"? Seriously?
And fuck you, Dan Shive. You're a transgendered furry. Leave the nerds alone. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

285

Holy Shit, that joke is forced.
Here's a rule for aspiring writers: If your joke requires people to speak in a way that sounds completely unrealistic, it's not good. For instance, in this strip, in order to make a shoddy lesbianism joke (which I won't picture-comment on, since Ellen wasn't explicitly mentioned.), Nanase has to speak in an unrealistic fashion. Here, let me give you an example of how the conversation would actually go:

"Hey, you wanna come hang out at the comic book store?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

"Okay. See you there. Bye."

"Bye."

But here's how it goes in Shive speak:

"Hey, this is Nanase, proving to the world how quirky I am."

"Hey, Nanase, wanna come hang out at the comic book store?"

"Well sure, I'll come hang out at the comic book store, as I have nothing that I am doing to prevent me from coming to the comic book store at the moment, so I will come to the comic book store. All I was doing was watching some women on tv and admiring their bodies as they jumped up and down and played volleyball. I am totally not a lesbian, but I was specifically watching these women for purposes of titillation."

You see how the second one includes information that people would normally not say at all?

And anyways, Justin's weird "I WANT TO CONVERT YOU!" mentality is fucking weird. Why would anyone hang out with him if all he wants to do is convince people that they're gay?

286

Once again, fuck him. I have no problem, obviously, with stereotype-related humor- my anger isn't in any way directed at the nerd jokes. It's at the fact of how unclever they are. There's just nothing here. Nerds don't have girlfriends could replace every line of the text, and we would be none the wiser. None of the dialogue serves any purpose other than the agenda line, and though that is an actual punchline, it isn't served with any timing or comedic acuity.

287

Of course. Why not add a bit of self-righteousness to the pile?
So Shive makes the kids look down on Justin, BUT JUSTIN CAN SCCAAAAAAAARE them. It's like that God damn comic with the kid reading Macbeth in a "manga drawing" class. It just aggravates me when a writer creates a character specifically to show that character being triumphed over by another character.
And way to explain the joke, Nanase. You aren't helping.
Anger aside, though, I will say that, as of so far, Nanase has done the least to make me hate her, so if you want a "favorite main character" from me, there you go.

288

That thing is suppossed to be pretty?
Hay, you guiz, Nanase's Japanese, okay?
And why would Nanase need to say that she doesn't speak English? Couldn't she just pretend that she's the one working there today? That would make a lot more sense.
Of course not. Because then Shive would not be able to remind us of her informed character traits.

289

...
...
...What the fuck?
Does ANYONE, DOES ANYONE IN THIS FUCKING COMIC TALK OR INTERACT LIKE NORMAL HUMANS DO?
So awesome. We have a new trait about Justin. GUESS WHAT. HE'S FUCKING GAY.
And fuck it. Forget my horse cock picture gag. I'll end up using it too much. I have a feeling that this is all we're going to know about Justin. Ever. There aren't enough horse cocks in the world to cover that sum.
And once again, why did Nanase need to change? There was no need to. At all. She did the same thing she would have done if she didn't change.
Also, Nanase appears to be a prostitute. Whaddaya know.

290

You know, now that I think about it, why is Nanase wearing those clothes still? Couldn't she wash her clothes with the gunk on them? Or was this a contrived reason for explaining a costume switch?
And I am going to be very upset if the next comic involves that kid trying to make fun of Justin for being gay. VERY. UPSET.

Cakman 18th Dec 10

Noxilicious:

He's not transgender, dude.

Cakman 18th Dec 10

AHR:

Cakman tends to be trollish. If you get seriously offended by something he says, report him. If not, it's probably best to ignore him or...handle him the way you feel is best.

Cakman 18th Dec 10

Black Wolfe:

Mr AHR: Cakman tends to be trollish.

Understatement is understated.

Cakman 18th Dec 10

Cakman:

Oh, I apologize, Black Wolfe. Was the horse's penis in that picture? I hadn't even noticed.

Also, I am aware that Dan Shive is not actually transgendered. I was both exaggerating for the sake of humor, and referencing the author avatar.

Cakman 18th Dec 10

Black Wolfe:

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. You amuse me, though, so I shall let it sl THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I CAN SAY HERE THAT WON'T RESULT IN YOU PICTURING ME GETTING ALL HOT AND BOTHERED OVER HORSE COCK. Damn you.

Cakman 18th Dec 10

Cakman:

Well, I do greatly apologize for your aversion to the horse genitals. Here: I've taken the care to censor the horse penis from this picture.

◊ Hopefully you will find it more suitable.

Cakman 18th Dec 10

Gilphon:

Yay! You get to be right, but I don't have to be an idiot for it! It's the best of both worlds! And yeah, you're correct in saying that I didn't see the sketchbook the first time 'round.

In other news: Funny, I don't remember Melissa being that badly written, and yet here we are. I must've had lower standards back in 2007. That last panel, with the guy realizing what an idiot he was being without the need for anyone to actively call him out, is a nice little touch. Humanizes a minor character a little bit, and that's always welcome.

Cakman 18th Dec 10