The Great Nitpicky Live Blog of El Goonish Shive
Goggle Fox: Nope. Pages end in increments of 25, so we've still got another five to go. Followed the link to the 2010 comic, and... what. What is even going on there?
Cakman: Well, no one ever said that Dan Shive lacks perseverance, AHR, so we'll probably climb through the ranks over the course of time. 161
- Damnit. When does the art style become like the style that you linked to, AHR? Is it soon? Please say it's soon. Because I can only handle shit like the gravity-defying cup (first panel) for so long.
- So, apparently, despite Sarah being in love with Elliot, she doesn't feel right kissing him in girl form. That really doesn't sund like love. That sounds like... She's attracted to Elliot for his looks! Lust! Huzzah!
- TEDD WILL BE DISAPPOINTED THAT THEY WILL NOT KISS AS GIRLS BECAUSE TEDD ENJOYS LESBIAN SEX BECAUSE IT INCREASES BLOOD FLOW AND CONSTRICTS THE BLOOD VESSELS IN HIS PENIS, THUS HARDENING IT AND GIVING HIM AN ERECTION. TEDD IS A PERVERT LOLOLOLOL
- EL GOONISH SHIVE PORN◊
- Now, I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but AHR and I are dating, and have been for around two years. Unfortunately, due to factors beyond our control, we don't often get to hang out together in person. One of the things I have always envisioned, though, (and I say "envisioned" to mean the same thing as "fantasized" but with a lesser emphasis on the sexual aspect) is to be either watching a movie or playing a video game with her and have her come up to me and kiss me in that pose right there, or something similar to it. Not a real engaging thing- the fact that we would treat it so casually and go right on watching/playing is part of the appeal. But the thing that bugs me is that THAT is exactly what Shive is doing here. He's inserting fantasy-material/fanservice when he COULD be using some kind of character development.
- In fact, this entire strip is pretty much nothing but fanservice.
- He already used the "posing in front of a mirror" joke with Tedd! It's the EXACT same joke!
- Let it also be known that Tedd still looks nothing like a girl. It really makes no sense at all.
- It also just occurred to me that proportion-wise, Tedd either has a loveseat with GIGANTIC cushions, or him and Grace are both three feet tall.
- AHR and I are dating.
- I never did quite understand the concept of women liking to look at pictures of men's asses. I don't mean it in an overtly-sexist way or anything- just that they can't really... DO anything with them. Feel 'em I guess. I guess that makes sense, actually, considering you can't necessarily tit-fuck a women with small breasts, but I could still view pictures of them and be aroused. So what the hell.
- Ooo! LOLOLOLOL PERVERTED GRACE! You know what that means:
- NROP EVIHS HSINOOG LE◊
- You know we still have no God damn explanation of why Grace came to TEDD of all people (So what he fought the goo. If this happens normally in the El Goonish Shive universe, I'm sure other people do even more incredible things. Besides, Tedd didn't even DO anything. It was Elliot.) or why there is ANY chemistry between them whatsoever.
- Oh God. Oh... Oh God.
- Guys, I'm not sure whether this is LOLOLOL PERVERT TEDD or LOLOLOLOL PERVERT GRACE
- WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?!◊
- I still don't get the rules. Why does Tedd's mouth SOMETIMES go away when he has his glasses on?! They don't cover his mouth. His mouth just stops existing.
- You know, Hideo Kojima made many long cutscenes in the Metal Gear Solid series, but they usually are filled with crucial background information, or character development. This contains neither.
- So wouldn't this be able to separate Grace's brothers from their own personal "curse"?
- And you run nto a very large and asinine plot hole. Why didn't Tedd go to the building, take the diamond, chuck it out of the window, leave, pick it up, and bring it back to Elliot?
- And why would Tedd get any clearance because of his Dad? That's not how the government works. If anything, Tedd's dad is completely out of line sharing ANYTHING with his son about government business.
- Speaking of which, what the fuck does Tedd's father DO anyways?
- And we still have the title card which basically says "Hey Guys! Shive here! I know that my plot has more holes in it than a cork, but I lampshaded it, so that makes it okay, right?"
- No, Hideo. No I did not.
- So Elliot and Tedd- best friends. Best fucking friends. But Elliot never mentioned "hey, I'm dating a girl." I become a fucking therapist every few months when my best friend is going through an emotional crisis. WHAT DO THEY TALK ABOUT?!
- But this isn't logical. Because neither of them are well-developed characters. They serve only as means for Dan Shive to continuously pump out fetish fuel for himself.
- Actually, to disagree with AHR for a moment, I like the retcon in the comic that she just linked to. I'm not sure of what its context is, but the fact that Shive actually said at that point "Yeah, I fucked up. Sorry about that." means a lot to me, rather than this drek.
- Even the title card tries to play it off like the revelation wasn't completely pulled out of Shive's ass. Like the fact that Elliot never said her name is the equivalent of "BUUUUUT! Bruce Willis's wife never seemed to be directly talking to him! SHE COULDN"T SEE HIM! WHAT A TWEEST!"
- I do like Elliot's expression in the final panel though. I'm not sure why. It just seems so plainly simple, but it's appealing.
- Or is it Ellen? I don't really give a fuck.
- Ah. Okay. That confirms my suspicions. I knew Shive was the type of person to reference Monty Python and feel clever about it.
- HAHA! REMEMBER THAT GOOD JOKE WITH THE DEMON DUCK? WELL HE'S BACK! NOT FOR THE FIRST TIME, EITHER! BAH HA HA HA HA! DUCKS DON'T GO TO HIGH SCHOOL! OR HIGH SCHOOL REUNIONS! AND DUCKS CAN'T DANCE EITHER! THAT DAN SHIVE IS NUTTY OUTTA HIS MIND!
- Also, isn't the character's name officially Ellen at this point? Why does Shive refer to her as Elliot in the title card?
- Oh yeah, Dan. Don't worry about showing us Elliot's parents or anything. They are the only likable characters, but please. A static image of Elliot telling us what happened when he talked to them is just as good.
- That crazy Susan! Poisoning men who try to hit on her!
- I don't even understand the lower comic. What is the joke? Do we have any idea what the guy is going to be drinking? And isn't it night time? So where the hell are they? I know he says that it's non-canon, but if you're going to bother making a non-canon thing like that, it should at least fucking make sense!
- Oh hai, Black Guy.
- Okay. So Susan somehow got a gender changing drink. You would think that she would be able to lend Elliot some of that.
- Why would she even want to do that? She hates men for what they are emotionally and socially. She said that she likes men physically, so what would the point of changing one into a girl be? Wouldn't it just poison the ranks of women?
- Nothing interesting, other than the completely unrealistic dialogue.
- Okay. So Shive actually is openly making softcore porn for his readers. Wonderful.
- Amanda, you were created solely for the purpose of being put into different fetish-driven situations. How does it feel?
- Hey. She dropped the soda can. Now her clothes are going to get wet.
- And Dr. Gherman is probably going to rape her in some fashion, as she now is completely naked and powerless against him.
- I can just imagine Dan having one hand on his drawing tablet, while the other hand just masturbated feverishly.
- This picture really just alerted me to Shive's two faces ruse: If you make people have different hair colors, they don't need to look different!
- Also, this really just makes them all look like the Power Rangers.
Goggle fox: But what is going on in that 2010 comic? I'm not even sure what out of the many confusing things I should be reacting to. Is it the massive wall of text in place of a worthwhile panel? Is it the fact that a person I can't identify who may or may not be Elliot is freaking out about looking too much like Ellen? Is it the fact that they're trying and failing to come up with a reasonable explanation for why television is worthless for identifying people? What is going on there?
AHR: That is indeed Elliot, who is transformed. Elliot and Ellen need to practice getting rid of excess magic. For Ellen, that means beam firing. For Elliot, that means turning into a girl. See here Previously, Elliot was fighting a fire man as a female version of himself. See here Here he transforms into velma. Also, on a much more important note: Holy Crudmuffins! EGS Fora drama is exactly like Tv Tropes drama!
167: Now, I'm a guy and single so I don't really know about female biology and may be wrong here but... isn't PMS that thing that happens when your hormone levels start going down at like, age 50 or something? Is there really some huge danger of him getting it over the course of the next month? Are you guys both asleep at the wheel or am I completely mistaken here? Hell, this isn't even the first time he's made a JOKE about female Elliot getting PMS so I'm amazed AHR hasn't started ranting at him yet about insensitivity or at least mentioned his wrongness.
PMS. Pre-Menstrual-Syndrome. You are thinking of menopause.
Alright. I still get the feeling it's not one of those topics guys are supposed to have joking privileges about.