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The Great Nitpicky Live Blog of El Goonish Shive
Mr AHR

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20th Aug '14 10:32:39 PM flag for mods
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I'm not gonna bother adjusting the numbers above. Too lazy. I'll just jump up to 57 with AHR. 57

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Here's the deal: When you use your title cards to play off what you think the reaction of the reader is going to be, you better make damn sure that your characters are established and developed, that way we can be interested in them. I know nothing about Sarah at this point. Why the fuck would I care what happened to her. So Ted did something. Whatever. Was there HONESTLY anyone who read this and thought "Damn! Sarah was almost about to say it, too!" I guarentee you not, because there is nothing else TO her character! Everything so far has either been plotplot or fillerfiller. No development of the characters beyond a few side mentions at Elliot liking Japanese things, and I think Ted's supposed to be interested in sex, though I'm not sure.

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Cakman 11th Dec 10
Gilphon:

About that little subtlety vs. obviousness rant: You're not wrong, and Shive definitely screwed up on that point, but proper balancing of subtlety and obviousness is one of the most difficult things of a writer to learn. In the ideal, something should be obvious enough to make the reader wonder why they didn't notice it, but too subtle for them to actually notice it. It's a very difficult balance to pull off.

Also, given what Series of Unfortunate Events is like, I have trouble agreeing with that 'use real people, not strawmen' point. Series of Unfortunate Events is filled to the brim with Strawmen; pretty much everyone who's not a VFD member is one.
Cakman 11th Dec 10
AHR:

That it is. That was actually an entirely separate point that was in no way related to the series of unfortunate events that I put in as an afterthought.

It relates to the main point, but not to the comparison. For that I apologize, and I'll figure out a better way to format it.

Which I did.

Also, yes, it is very difficult. And it is something I am better at talking about than doing. This might get very tract-y at times. I usually try and label those with a 'warning: rant' type of thing, but this one sorta happened without my planning.
Cakman 11th Dec 10
Cakman:

Gilphon, you gonna take that? A_H_R is talking shit about you.
Cakman 11th Dec 10
e X:

"* What? Why is Elliot suspicious all of a sudden? Didn't Tedd's father explain everything already? And when did Elliot become suspicious at all? I thought he was the nice guy. Or something."

Because Elliot is kind of the main character, and will remain it, in a way anyway, and is in a desperate need of an actual characterization. Don't be worried, though, its not like this trait is going to tick. Again, in a way, I take this as evidence that Shive has way to much anime influences in his comic, because Elliot reminds of your average shonen protagonists ( means he has no real characterization, outside of "protecting his friends")

"* So Tedd and Grace are eventually going to be together, as per my linked picture from my last post? Because beyond acting like a rapist, Ted has not shown any different feelings towards her from his interactions with everyone else."

Yes they are going to be together and no, we never get an actual reason what Grace likes about Tedd. Only some vague explanation that she is "Teddsexual", possible to justify that she doesn't run of with the next guy who isn't a bland harem anime guy character.
Cakman 11th Dec 10
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Morgikit 16th Jul 13
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