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Teach Me How to Dougie
Aye! aye! MIKE: Are you ready, kids? BOTS: Aye,aye, Captain! MIKE [singing]: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? BOTS: Spongebob Squarepants! Teach me how to dougie (aye!) They be like smooth (what?) TOM: Is someone doing our job for us? Can u teach me how to dougie? You know why? CROW: Uh, thatís not the right response to that question, sir. Cause all da bitches love me (aye) All I need is a beat that's super bumpin And for you, you, and you to back it up and dump it! ALL: Eww!! Put your arms out front, lean side to side TOM: Hey, Mike! Hereís a dance you can do! CROW: Yeah! It requires no coordination or any coherent thought processes at all! MIKE [offended]: Hey! They gona be on you when they see you hit dat dougie right? Aint nobody fuckin wit my bro from morningside TOM: Well, that was a smooth transition. He go by bubba and he hit dat dance wit thunder CROW: How can you hit something with thunder? I aint from dallas but I d-town boogie I show my moves off and everybody tryna do me I leave da function and all da ladies tryna screw me TOM: You better write this down, Mike: Chicks dig guys who dance like drunken idiots. You just do you and ima do me(all day) Niggas love to hate so they try to screw me MIKE: You see, even masochists love the dougie. Bitches be stuck to me I think they tryna glue me CROW: Hopefully to some train tracks. I make the party shine bright when it start to boomin Dis beat was bubblegum so I had to chew it TOM: And now youíve stuck it under a seat and left it there. Teach me how to dougie MIKE: Donít you already know how? T-teach me how to dougie Teach me how to dougie CROW: Other than putting our arms out front and leaning from side to side, we havenít learned much at all. T-teach me how to dougie All my bitches love me All my, all my bitches love me MIKE: Can you repeat that line again? I donít think weíve heard it enough times. All my bitches love me You aint fuckin wit my dougie! TOM: Well, that was helpful. My name is young! CROW [Young]: My parents werenít very imaginative! For da dudes who don't know me MIKE: Which is practically everyone. I know I'm from da west but I can teach you how to dougie! ALL: Finally. Step up in da club and all these bitches bug me All da niggas dancin and none of them know me TOM: Thatís probably because no oneís heard of you before. I hear da crowd screamin like "aye! get it brody!" So I'm on my and I take it real low CROW: Wait, what was he on? Dey like "how you da dat?" TOM: To be able learn to dougie you need to inhale a large amount of glue, apparently. he can dougie on the floor And when dat nigga stop they like "dougie somemore!" ALL [dully]: Whee. I'm like a nigga kinda tired so, I pass it to da bro! M-bone! show these cats how to do dat down south dance MIKE: It helps a great deal if youíre drunk, by the way. Dat we learned a lil too fastand bought it to da hood And got da whole crew askin... Back of the party ion really like to boogie CROW: And anions are usually the type to stay home and read. I'm just tryna get bent and meet a thick redbone TOM: Uh, I donít think thatís what the phrase ďGet BentĒ actually means. (Mmm) we do da dougie and da niggas hatin but I'm bout To act a skateboard a bitch and head home(fuck it) TOM: Ha, ha, itís funny because itís not really a sentence. She bout to dougie and hit wit 2 hands And I run it run it even if her legs long She like you my hubby and I think she love me but, MIKE: Iím afraid weíre both gay. I change da subject and I do my dougie CROW: Now thatís a dedicated man. Not even the promise of requited love can stop him from doing his dougie. But, ion give a fuck, blow trees, get money TOM: Blow trees? Leave 2 heifers feinin like sum playboy bunnies Dey gon make us do da dougie in da middle of da dance TOM [horrified]: Oh no! [normal] Wait, Mike, is that a good thing or a bad thing? MIKE: Yes. And when I asked for some head da bitch looked at me funny CROW [girl,stupid]: Uh, donít you already have one? Bye! bitch you can't tell me nothin MIKE: My sentiments exactly. starr baked da beat And I just took it out the oven, TOM: Whereís an oven and what did you take out of it? CROW: Most likely his dougie. I just hit the dougie when everybody Clubbin and I hate skinny jeans cuz da burner keep rubbin! (oh! ) CROW: That was an abrupt end. MIKE: Were we ever taught how to dougie? TOM [annoyed]: No.
I always thought that this◊ would make a better Dougie than this so-called "dance". Don't you agree?
I just can't get the mental image of Doug out of my head. And Thats Terrible.
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