Slowzombie is blind about Dark, The Adventures of Dark Yagami


Oh, hey, it's Ol' Will

This is gonna suck. I haven't even looked at the chapter yet, and I know this will suck. That's a nice way to start up one of these things, don't you think? Well, this chapter is called "sexiest yet MAYBE TOO HOT" some times it's not awesome to be right. Well, author's notes tiem. THIS CHAP HAS MORE SEXING THAN ANY BEFORE! SO WATCH OUT COS IT MIGHT BE TOO HOT AND I DON'T WANT TO GIVE PEEPS HART ATTACKS COS IM NOT KIRA OR AM I? {;-P-/-= DUDES KEEP TELLING ME THERE SHUD BE A VAMPIRE CALLED TWILIGHT YAGAMI. IS THIS A GOOD IDEA? WHAT DO YOUUU THINK? Ok, fess up, who's been feeding this guy ideas? Also, more sexing? This is an ill omen on the level of the Seventh Sigil of The Apocalypse breaking open to the tunes of Rosa Helikopter, but let's just get on with it and, in the words of Lars Von Trier, Take the Good with the Evil.

So, this piece of the tale of Woe starts in Shakespearean England, where Khaos' time train lands, causing comotion, one might even say quite a locomotion. Yeah, I know. The local authorities tries to investigate "Hello hello hello hello!" he said like a british cop which he was. "Whats arl this here then?" He stabbed the dragon but it wasn't a dragon but a train so nothing happened. Yay, Britishness. The hiveminded pair of possessed fellows demands to be taken to... King Shakespear? Ok, what foolishness is this? I mean, I shouldn't expect more, but come on, king Shakespeare? That's... yeah. Roll with the punches slowzombie, roll with the punches. They're taken to the castle, and this scene? Well, it speaks pretty well for itself. Checkit. where were hundreds of naked ladies everyweher like an army but they weren't fighting they were sexing it up so hard that the walls had to be made of diamond to stop them braking from all the nonstop sexing smashing against them so hard. Khaos watched for ages and got so turned on by all the sexing that he made light and mello sex. Once all the sexing was done he went to the room with the big chair made of gold that SHAKESPEER HIMSELF WAS ON. ... I... uh, yeah, that's great. Wish fulfillment, I can do this, keep rolling with the punches. Old Will wants to know what this bisexual duo wants, and Khaos!Light tells him that he's got something evil to tell him. Smooth.

Meanwhile in the future, just go with it, Pa' Yagami discovers that Khaos isn't in his cell. We move to the Yagami household, where the author has a warning for us. WARNING! THIS BIT IS SUPPER GRAFIC! IF YOU HAVE A WEEK HART THEN SKIP TO THE BIT THAT SAYS IN THE PAST AGAIN COS OTHERWISE YOU WILL GET TOO TURNED ON AND DIE! SOZ! Uh, ok, I'm not too worried, if this guy's skill at writing smut is any indication, then again, it just might be so bad that it kills me, but that is the risk I have to take. Day is talking with Pa' Yagami, who updates him on Khaos' recent escape... so Night suckerpunches him and takes the phone. Quoth the mustache "THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON WHO CAN SAVE THE DAY! CREEPY CHICK…. BUT YOU SHOT HER!" Uh? Why? Well, I guess why not. Night isn't bothered, though, as she hangs up and hurries to her room, because... well... AN Night shot Creepy Chick with a crossbow so everyone fort she was dead but really shed let creepy chick escape! I KNOW IT'S A GOOD TWIST! So now they are livin together as lesbeans under nights bed) Uh... author? Your Troll is showing, a lot. Well, Creepy dude chick spills the beans, K is called Khaos Watari Jr, and his plan is to buy the world, only it's not, and to stop him, she, Night and Misa has to "sex" enough to allow Creepy Chick to travel through time. Did ya get all that? Good, then you're way ahead of me. Long story short, a bad sex scene ensues, worse than most so far, actually, and the three are sucked into a black hole of sexyness. No joke, people. No fucking joke.

The trio appears behind Shakespeare's throne, just in time for Khaos, in one of his two bodies I guess, pull a laser gun and threaten the "king" with it. It's the same gun, dontchaknow, that killed Watari... who's related to king Will here. Do you know what that means? Well, absolutely nothing, I guess. This all startles Shakespeare so much that he starts talking in poem form, forsooth. "You cant shootest me with an gun / It would not be very fun / I will call the gard to stop you / They will all stab you / With there knives / And then you will not have any lives!" Well, it's better than the last one, if nothing else. Too bad that doesn't say anything. That said, Khaos kills him mid-poem, and thus claims the title of king. Because... y'know, that's how such things work. He also states that BECAUSE THIS BEFORE THE DECORATION OF INDEPENENTS I AM KING OF THE WHOLE WORLD! Well, while the sun never properly set over the British Empire, I guess "The Whole World" is a bit of a stretch, and by "a bit" I mean "A huge fucking stretch. Creepy Chick, however, has an objection, and this apparently startles Khaos. Play 'em off, author. TO BE CONTINUED? THE ANSWER IS STILL….. YES!

So... that's another chapter guys and gals and others, wasn't that exciting?