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Slowzombie is blind about Dark, The Adventures of Dark Yagami
slowzombie

[table of contents]
Stu vs. Stu
Ok, it's time to Yagami again, folks, I'll get back to the second part of Pain Note next week some time, or whenever when I feel snarky. So yes, this chapter is called "The end is NOT near! GET TIT" Well, for the first part, that's very encouraging, as for the second... that's kinda what I'm trying to do whenever I'm not snarking about horrible horrible fanfics. That said, let's see what the author has to say: This chap is based on a film I saw! oh, that's... encouraging, yeah. Then again, if he rips of a movie, at least the basic idea will be better than the usual dreck. That said, let's boogie.

When we left our... ehm... heroes, they had been digitized and tracked down the nefarious Khaos, and they were about to do battle. What follows is an action scene, written in the tried and true Dark Yagami style. Dusk got out a machine gun and a rocket gun and splooshed them together to make a machine bakooka and a load of rockets came out. They had nuclears in them and everything in a million miles went bang like dragonballz! They were in the desert now and floating in the sky. You know, something like that could actually work in a Crazy Awesome show like TTGL, whereas in this fic, it doesn't really work, but it feels unfair to point it all out, since nothing really works in this fic.

Dusk also punches Khaos and punches him good, however, Khaos does... I'm not really sure. he ripped apart his clothes and he was all ripped and his blood had been replaced by lightning so it zapped and buzzed under his skin like a xmas tree! He did some rips and they were so big that a mountain exploded. ... yeah folks. Yeah. Apparently Dusk's power might be true, but Khaos' power is truer. That's... just awesome, really. Just awesome. Khaos also defeats Shadow, this being Digital!Light in case you forgot, quite easily, before Dusk, this being Digital!Dark, defeats Khaos without problems. Wow, that was like the corridor scene from Oldboy, only exactly the opposite.

So, some time later, and Khaos gets a funeral. Figures, he gets no character backstory or development, but he gets a funeral. Right. Well, Near approves,, since the coffin is made out of lego bricks. Oh, and he's fat due to the Debu Note, or the Fat Note, if you will. COMEDY! So, Dark modifies Khaos computer-deathnote into a Death Note iPad. Wow. Well, a word from the author Dark has an I pad cos hes a cool dude! I want one but my dads a lameeeeeee guy and got me a bike instead which suckkkkks You know, I used to be bothered by the insanely unsubtle wish fulfillment, but I find it... well, rather droll at this point. The Deathpad, as it is so inventively named at this point, also houses Dusk and Shadow, shadow apparently wasn't Light digitalized, but a separate being all together. What, consistency in MY Death Note badfic? It's less likely than you think.

Time skip time, folks. NOTHING HAPPENED FOR A BIT GUYS! THEY CANT ALWAYS HAVE AN EXITING LIVE SO IM SKIPPING LIKE A YEAR COS ALL THEY DID WAS GO TO SCHOOL AND KIRA DUDES AND THIS ONE TIME SOICHIRO HAD AN AFFAIR WITH THE DESK LADY AND LIGHTS MOM WAS REAL SAD SO SHE CHEETED ON HIM WITH WATARI AND NOW THERE EVEN Uhm... right, well, can't complain with that, heavens knows the last thing this fic needs is uninteresting filler, you know, I'd much rather read uninteresting canon stuff. Well, Light heads out to school, but as we know, Dark is too fantastically smart to need going to school, so he stays at home playing video games. Night is, one assumes, also just as smart, because she doesn't go to school, instead, she keeps working on a machine, a time machine.

No wait, that's wrong, she's building something like a time machine, which allows people to enter other people's dreams, just like in "13th of Friday" Hey author, your troll is showing again, but ok. That's it, back to school, where Light is disappointed to learn that they are not to learn about any exciting chemicals, which is to say any chemical that you can make a bomb out of. Near is excited, but Light falls asleep. Oh gee, I sure wonder where this is going. So, in his dreams, Light has sex with Misa and The Girl from The buss. The latter was made bisexual by the Everything Note, a fact the author retcons in because he likes bisexuals. Well, ok then. But suddenly! Plot! This time he dreamed khoas was watching. Then he realised it wasn't a dream! Or it was! But khoas wasn't a dream! He was real in lights dream! AND HE HAD A ROPE. Uhm... ok then, rope, that sounds... bad.

Light wakes up... except it's not Light, it's Khaos, who has abducted Light and now has his body. Take it away, author. SORRY GUYS I JUST LOVE CLIFFHANGERS SOZ! DON'T FORGET MY TWITTER REALDARKYAGAMI! Well, it's not the thing I'd chose to apologize for. Also, I'm kind of glad that I don't have a twitter, because I don't think I'd be able to resist the temptation to contact this guy, and I think it's better for everyone that I don't, troll or no.
10th Dec '10 8:50:28 AM flag for mods
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