Slowzombie is blind about Dark, The Adventures of Dark Yagami
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Christmas special, yay
Light's mom has got it goin' on She's all I want and I've waited for so long Light, can't you see you're just not the dude for me I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Light's momBefore I progress, I feel I must mention that I'm sorry, I am SO sorry, this goes for my dear readers and the gentlemen of Fountains Of Wayne fame alike. But enough about that. That's about all that happens in this little flashback though, as Soichiro seems to remember how he and Light's mom hooked up through a mutual interest for Shakespeare fanfiction, and this makes him sad... despite still being, one assumes, happily married with Mrs. Yagami. Maybe he mourns the fact that his picking up the Villain Ball doesn't convince anyone of anything save the Fic-writer's baffling incompetence, but this is nothing but speculation on my part. So, next up on the agenda is, of course, the Ghost of Christmas Present, except the author seems to confuse "Present" with "presents" because all Ghost!Mello does is spit chocolate at Soichiro and chew him out for not buying Guitar Hero for Dark this Christmas. Granted, Present always seemed like a bit of a hedonist to me, but at least he was the good kind, an Anthropomorphic Personification of the good things of the Yuletide, not the avatar of the whiny little brats that make Christmas insufferable together with grumpy fundamentalists and Wham's "Last Christmas." Also, the author keeps coming back to Guitar Hero. I'm guessing it's a sort of a Real Life Writes the Plot situation at work here. Well, enough of him, time to see what the author does with the last and most traumatizing of the three ghosts. The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come. I'm positively giddy with excitement. Ray Penber fills the role of said ghosts, and the future he takes Soichiro to is grim indeed. He ran there and saw massive fireball that was black and full of bats. The ground was cracking and breaking and some bits were lava now. Explosions came everywhere and a tower that was a mile high exploded and glass went everywhere and knocked down more towers. And in the middle of the fire like a tornado or hurricane or the swirly thing when you get out the bath was………. NIGHT YAGAMI Yeeeees, you see Night is alive again for some reason, and now singing the song that ends the world. Exactly how that's supposed to work, or why the author didn't just drop that particular throwaway plotline like a sack of angry badgers, I don't know, but hey, she's back. Also, I feel the author is yet again missing the point of the story like only a trained professional can. I mean... unless the author can cook up a real good way Soichiro can prevent all this silliness right fast, this entire flashforward has been in vain and not really keeping with the whole point of the original Christmas Carol. Well, Soichiro gets sent back to his own time and decides that he has to save the world, but not before displaying some random acts of kindness to fit with the original story. No need to make the character development make sense or anything, just follow the format and pray you didn't completely miss the point. That's how it's done. Anyway, Soichiro gathers a team consisting of L, Light, Dark, Soichiro, Sayu, Near, Mello’s ghost, Naomi and Watari and Blud to prevent Night from ending the world. Blud, apparently, can't be seen by others than Dark, I think, but this has never been brought up before, and I strongly doubt it'll be brought up ever again. They come to the conclusion that they have to kill Night, but can't, since she's already dead. Well great, now how are we going to get out of THIS fine mess? Well, fear not, brave readers, because Yotsuba is up to his old tricks again, and what does he do? He makes a Life Note... in paint. Ok, if it's that fucking easy, then how come anyone stay dead in this godforsaken verse? I mean... there's an upper limit of just how complex a task can be when you can do it in fucking PAINT. What does the author have to say in his defense? TRICKED YOU! NIGHT ISNT DEAD AT ALL! I FOOLED YOU AL! PLEAASE TEXT BACK CHRISTIE You... suck. I mean, come on man. I know no-one of importance ever stays dead in this sad excuse for a story, but consider this, the moment anyone knows Night is alive, Dark can just Anti Life Note her to death. I'm no fan of the concept, but I'd prefer if it'd go that way. Why? Because this plotline is, in record time, nominated for the "stupidest plotline thus far" award. Also, I hate to say it, but the author's starting to sound a bit stalkerish, but that could just be because he uses his story to try to communicate with a person who doesn't want to talk to him... Oh Wait!.
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