Lets Read the game: A tragedy in too many pages

Josef Bugman

South of honour. Really far south of it.

Now with Vocaroo recording! [1]

Okay, this chapter is entitled "meet style" and it begins with a description of our protagonist. For the most part the physical characteristics aren't THAT bad, though he seems to have a few issues with ladies. In particular he appears to have never spoken/had sex with a girl throughout college.

Now as to the latter I could not possibly comment but I am simply amazed by the former. Is it actually possible to go through ones formative years without realising that ladies are humans? Anyway he states in no uncertain terms that he was not successful in the lists of love and although he states he got laid afterwards he seems curiously eager to sweep those experiences under the rug rather swiftly.

Then he leads up to a story as to how he read a document called "The necronomicon!" oh sorry I mean "The how-to-lay-girls guide". Now if I am honest? That title is actually makes my skin itch and my eyes roll, especially as in his next paragraph he describes IT as "more important than the bible" and himself as "deep". Now call me a sceptic, but anyone who describes themself as "deep" is probably more than a little disingenuous. Not least because to declare oneself "deep" almost always means that the person is not actually deep at all. The reason he mentions for being deep is that "He reads Ulysses once every three years". Yep, thatís the justification...

Then he introduces us to Dustin. This fine figure of a troll is able to get women as easily as breathing (apparently) and they proceed to double team a woman they have just met in a bar whose boyfriend they have also just met. Now itís at this point that "styles" earlier protestations to being good fall really hollow, because no matter how bad a relationship she had or did not have with her boyfriend YOU ARE STILL FUCKING SOMEONE IN A RELATIONSHIP! Unless she had stated beforehand that it was an open relationship (and disturbingly the only thing the woman seems to do is moan... subtext anyone) then it seems a bit morally "edgey" at least to just straight up fuck someone.

Apparently afterwards the girl phones "style" because she is trying to work out why she did that (my bet is on roofies) and he is bitter about this because "Dustin got the girl, I got the guilt". Now I think that all three players in this little farce are horrible people, but that is just so much bullshit that I think a herd of cows with dysentery could not have copied him.

Okay I am halfway through this chapter and am already getting way too angry. Suffice it to say that the next page is a description of PUA. All of them sound slightly creepy, but the top one must got to "Steve. P. A seductionist so powerful women pay to learn how to give him better blow jobs". I wish that the print had caught fire and the women who did this done the same, but there we are.

Oh and now blood is coming out of my nose because of psyhcic pain, thanks a lot book. So with that I will end this section now. We have barely scoured the surface guys. May Ahriman not see us as we tread futher into his dark domain.


Just to add my own two cents to this, I don't think that reading Ulysses on such a schedule is deep; I think you've just got a really [CENSORED] memory. Heck, I haven't read The Epic of Gilgamesh since the first year of high school, and I can still remember everything I found appealing to me! Also, though I probably don't need to state this, merely reading a book does not equal understanding the material within.
EndarkCuli 2nd Jul 11
Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen! Well, they can still turn sympathic somewhere along the line... right?
slowzombie 3rd Jul 11
I think he's supposed to be pitiable at the point where he is complaining about not getting "any". I have a feeling it may all be downhill (ethically) from here.

BTW do message me if I am talking too much/not being funny.
JosefBugman 3rd Jul 11
Yeah, I guess that makes sort of sense, still, one of my problems with the book back when I tried it was that I found it exceedingly difficult to root for this guy.

On the topic of the writing in this blog, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Try to get down your natural reactions to the work. If it's bad, as I suspect it might be, we get to feed on your suffering, which is always fun, and if it's not, well, I guess you'll have to be more focused on the jokes, then :P
slowzombie 3rd Jul 11
Unrelatable and egocentric main characters, with the spotlight mostly focused on the supposed 'sexiest' of them all, and now slowzombie wants to feed on suffering...does anyone else have deja vu? At least this appears to have better grammar...
EndarkCuli 3rd Jul 11
Next updates gotten a bit delayed guys. I am only able to type one handed atm, but I'll get back on this ASAP
JosefBugman 5th Jul 11
^^ There are some similarities, yeah, but hopefully, this thing won't be nearly as mind-meltingly stupid as that other fic.

^ Take your time. I will avoid doing any "typing one-handed"-jokes. However, I will remark that you could write an awful lot about stewardesses if you so chose to *nod*
slowzombie 5th Jul 11
^^^ It puts me in mind of Least I Could Do, actually.
FurikoMaru 6th Jul 11