Live Blogs You're only reading this because I rated the game 3/10! Let's read horrible GameFAQs reviews!

Ephraim2252011-04-19 00:10:18

Game FA Qs is perhaps one of the most informative Video Game websites known to man. Created in 1995, the site is a database of video game information, nearly all of which is submitted by volunteer contributors. You can find just about anything you'd want to know about any given game: walkthroughs, maps, cheats, secrets, release dates, box art, reviews...

Haha reviews

Game FA Qs is already notorious for its many Fora, the userbase of which is known to consist primarily of Trolls, idiots, console soldiers, and people too lazy to read the FAQs the damn site is named for. But that wouldn't be enough, for there is a second cesspit of hatred and lies on this otherwise awesome website - the reviews section, where users are allowed to give their opinions on a given game or system.

Maybe you've come across that one review on that one game, and something seems a little off. That is, you can't understand where the reviewer is coming from, or his spelling sucks, or maybe he didn't even play the damn game. I, Ephraim225, am here to expose the worst, most incomprehensible, unreadable, and possibly painful Game FA Qs reviews you have ever had the misfortune of hearing about.

Now, don't get me wrong, we all have opinions. Mine might be different, that's just life etc. etc....but hear me out. I've seen Game FA Qs users write good reviews before. I've seen reviews that I don't agree with but are well-written. We're here to find the reviews that will make you let out a Flat "What", among other unexpected expected reactions.

Let's read horrible Game FA Qs reviews.

Comments

Emperordaein Since: Dec, 1969

May 12th 2011 at 6:47:38 PM

Actually I can think of a few things wrong with Double Dash. The fact that the Karts handled like Shopping Trolleys, the fact that this game was AGGRAVATING AS HELL, ect.

As for character imbalances, well, we let Ike get away with it. Twice.

Thrice if you count Radiant Dawn.

ManCalledTrue Since: Dec, 1969

May 12th 2011 at 7:22:27 PM

Don't you just love it when an asshole basically types "I'M A REAL GAMER AND YOU'RE NOT" over and over again for several hundred words?

"Casual": a word that no longer has meaning among video gamers.

Envyus Since: Dec, 1969

May 12th 2011 at 8:04:36 PM

he just said mario and zelda suck he must die

SpellBlade Since: Dec, 1969

May 13th 2011 at 12:06:48 AM

I like how this was more of a thinly veiled rant against TEH CASUALZ then a review of the game.

EponymousKid Since: Dec, 1969

May 13th 2011 at 10:05:49 AM

Emperor: Seriously. Excepting the original Mario Kart (didn't have an SNES) and Wii (never got around to getting it), I've played every game in the series — Double Dash is the only one where I never unlocked all the characters or beat all the cups on every CC setting.

Hardcore gamers piss me off, mainly because games aren't a means of entertainment for them — they're a means of conquest, a way to prove their virility.

Korval Since: Dec, 1969

May 15th 2011 at 1:57:13 AM

"Why is Rosalina, one of the deepest and most serious characters in Mario canon"

OK, stop right there. If I recall Mario Galaxy correctly, Rosalina was basically the fairy tale Goddess of the Universe who... baked cakes for infant stars. That eventually turn into galaxies. Which are the size of solar systems at their biggest.

Rosalina's a fine character and all, but "serious"? Are you kidding? Yeah, she'd fit in right along side Christian Bale in The Dark Knight...

72.209.168.235 Since: Dec, 1969

Apr 9th 2012 at 3:37:29 PM

Have you... have you even played the game you're so ardently defending?