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SMOKING DRUGS: Let's Read Latawnya The Naughty Horse!
Shlapintogan

[table of contents]
"How does I smoking drugs?" and other horse-related questions.
Okay, so where were we?

Oh... we're at this part...

Fine, I can do this. I'm a man, dammit.

Latawnya's "scary noise" recreation scares whatever was in the bushes away, which renders that whole last page completely pointless. However, another noise eventually makes itself heard, but it's not the bears I was so desperately hoping for. Instead, it is some other horses. They are named Connie, Chrystal, Jackie, and Angie.

The other horses ask the three sisters to play with them. Only Latawnya agrees to. Why? Because they want to play a smoking game and a drinking game. Okay, I've heard about drinking games. Those are fairly common, but a smoking game? I can only imagine how that would go.

"Oh hey, someone said 'fuck' in Pulp Fiction. Smoke one."

Fucking seriously, a smoking game? Ms. Gibson, do you even know what people are? I assume that you just assume that they use any and every excuse to play some sort of game. Soon we'll all be playing "Homemade explosive games"...

Note to self: make "Tv Tropes Homemade explosives game" page later.

Ah, not really, we'd all be dead because of how many times "egregious" has been used.

Anyway, the four horses start "drinking and smoking drugs" and Latawnya, being the toolbag that she is, starts "drinking and smoking drugs" too. This problem is addressed on the tropes page for this travesty. How exactly do horses hold the bottles of alcohol in their hooves? How do the horses do ANY of this nonsense. Why are they horses, why couldn't they be people? It would've been just as effective, which is to say "not at all". It's like "oh hey, I want to write a story but I can't use people. Oh I know! I'll just use normal horses, and they'll be named after my family and friends."

Yeah, I went there. Sylvia Scott Gibson wrote the horses to be her family and friends. You hear that, all of Sylvia Scott Gibson's family and friends? You got written into the anti-drug equivalent of Chick Tracts. All that's really missing is a giant faceless God who tells a bunch of horses they're going to hell because they smoked and drank.

Almost immediately, Daisy and Latoya tell Latawnya to not smoke or drink. I assume they did it in unison, because it says they both say it. They slap the alcohol and nondescript smokable drugs out of Latawnya's hoof. Latawnya then starts to get sick from the alcohol and nondescript smokable drug smoke.

Pfft. Lightweight.

Also, I'd like to take this time to point out: LOOK AT THOSE PICTURES. Particularly the one on page 14. Just look at those horses. They don't give a damn what you think of them. Look at the one furthest forward in the picture, the one with the bottle of alcohol in its mouth. That horse gives so little of a fuck that it doesn't even need a hoof to hold the bottle. Let's go back up to the first picture, the one that shows Latawnya. Look at that face.

All I can think of is "DUURRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I'MA HOERS."

I think I can derive actual enjoyment out of figuring out all the incredibly stupid things that could've gone through the illustrator's head when they were drawing these things. I think I'll do that, so maybe we'll go a bit further next time.
14th Dec '10 8:06:03 PM flag for mods
comments
I laughed so hard around the "Let's Play an explosives game!"
Psyga315 29th Dec 10
This just made my evening.
cheeseypoofs 18th Mar 11
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