All Comments

All Comments
Crisis: Equestria (v:2.0)
Yay! Glad to see that you're starting. It's a really fun fic to read and to see reactions to. As you said, AWESOME O Cs and worldbuilding. So, no, you are NOT wasting your time.

On a less related note, I see that you joined my group. Thanks! I'll try protect you from spoilers. That said, at the moment, my bible thread should be pretty spoilerless. It's only when we get to characters tht spoilers may start seeping in as far as I can tell.
Sereg
nice
monica1234
when i was in <a href="http://www.touristtiger.com/famous-places-in-italy/"> Italy</a> i used to do this
monica1234
Huzzah! I can't wait to see your reactions to some of the new stuff. I assume you're going to be bringing up what was originally in the chapters too as far what changes you've noticed?
DarkLink313
More or less, comparing to if I think it works better, was needed etc...
Seraphem
amazing may be the same case with existing

DIY Decor Idea
ekadecor
Though, given what we learn later about that disturbance, what it is, all that.. Celestia not having a better idea of what it is is a bit odd.

This is a good point. It's something I also found a bit odd when we learned more.

Okay, really like this part to, and the whole character they have for him, name issues aside, he's not The Doctor, a somewhat similar character yes, but not at all the same, and I really do like this version.

Chronomancers are awesome. It's a pity that Time Turner is the only one we'll meet, right?

  • Liarjack face*

some other pony.. probably just some random extra that will never be seen again, yeah no point in really paying attention to anything here just a random pony of no importance to the story at all. But, unimportant pony's

LOL!

To bad we'll likely never see her again, I kind of like her.

Me too.

Just, doesn't really make sense to me.

Well, it's not supposed tomake sense in-Universe, either ... so...

Oh and really was great noticing Tick Tock this time around, I love little things like that, things that you just might not notice till the second time around that make things all fall together all the better, little hints, cameo's, tiny things that help build everything up, but are subtle enough you might miss them if you don't know what you are looking for

Seeing that the second time I read the chapter was awesome.

Anyway! The fun is just starting!
Sereg
Overall a very good read! Looking forward to more, especially to see what you think of the changes made to keeping the characters more in-character. I think there's an overall better job being done in the revisions, personally.-
DarkLink313
Tick Tock is so awesome! /)^3^(
Sereg
These are really good reviews all around; you're making me nervous about my own attempts to dive in once the story finishes up! You're absolutely right in saying though that this is the chapter where we really get to see how great this story is. The first chapter just gets us into the story and we see some great world-building off the bat, but this chapter here introduces some of the story's biggest characters and does a perfect job of it.
DarkLink313
Man I am REALLY enjoying these.

When we last let our heroines, they were being arrested for walking around naked. ... There is a phrase that you never think you'll have to type up in relation to ponies...

LOL.

Why would he consider this to be anything except a "proper" courtroom if this is the standard layout for one in this town?

Perhaps the courtroom used to be better staffed and equipped but for whatever reason, it is now the courtroom we see today? The Judge is simply old enough to remember what a proper court should be like.

Wait, what? Other worlds? Okay story, you have our attention. This, as with so many others in this story, is a great introduction to a new character. Really that is one of the stories greatest strengths, establishing amazing, unique and interesting characters quickly. Even ones who are only in one or two scenes are still good enough to leave an impression. As to.. that one OC... well even then, it did a great job introducing his character quickly, it was just a horrible character. And doing this naturally, through their actions, their speech, their behavior, by showing us, not telling us. And when having to resort to telling, managing to do so in way that feels natural, that fits with the character, the scene, the doesn't feel like we are being told.

  • Starts taking notes...*

There was no physical thing to even look at. In all things Silvertongue knew, he knew this: Alicorns were the most exquisite creatures in existence, blessed with such incredible magicks that they were above a mortal form. A mortal body was not worthy enough to contain their elegance, their raw power. Physical beauty, even of the absolute highest caliber, was not even worth the slightest fraction of what Alicorns appeared like to one’s mind’s eye.

Yeah, I've always gotten the feeling that Harmonia and Nihilia are a lot more powerful than Celestia and Luna.

And here we meet Shroud. Probably one of the biggest Ensemble Darkhorse's in the fic, (and given how many of those there are, that's saying a lot) and possibly the poster pony for Hyper Competent Sidekick

Eh... I'd still argue for Curacuo being the poster pony for Hyper Competant Sidekick

Overall an enjoyable read, looking forward to your next comments
Lunacorva
Yeah, I've always gotten the feeling that Harmonia and Nihilia are a lot more powerful than Celestia and Luna.

This is canon. In fact, it's canon that they're more powerful than Discord. Eqestria V canonically has a much higher magic-level than ... well, the Mane Six's home world. Hence so many teleporters, Shadowstep's abilities, etc.
Sereg
Ah yes. Lockwood and Shadowstep. Things will get more interesting.

I actually liked Snapshot and was saddened by her death, but that was still a well done scene, even if, teah, that was way too messy for his goal.
Sereg
Obviously, though, Shadowstep did a fantastic job of cleaning up, since nopony suspected Snapshot was dead for several chapters.
DarkLink313
Oh, another thing I noticed: you say that the Utopian ponies also have the taboo about clothes, but they clearly don't once we actually get there. The Hope's Point ponies still do, but in Chapter 31, we are quite clearly told that everypony is naked. Some of the only ponies with clothes are those with positions of authority, who only seem to wear them because of presentation; or, in the case of the Harmony Guard, as armor. The zebras wear their furs and leathers to protect from the cold.

It doesn't make the stigma make any more sense, but I think I see where the idea is coming from. You mention confusion about how some ponies can cover their cutie marks and be fine, or others can not cover their cutie marks and be fine, but when Fluttershy only covers a portion of it, it's treated as scandalous. My theory is that it's teasing at what's underneath. If it's fully exposed, nopony pays it any mind; if it's completely covered, nopony pays it any mind; but, when it's partially covered, it draws attention.
DarkLink313
Wait, really? Don't remember that, plus, everypony seemed to be shocked about them coming from somewhere without he nudity taboo. Thinking it was universal. Not because it was a law but, just because it was 'right'.

And yeah mentioned that the only way it made sense was the semi-covered, trying to cover it, but letting some slip out, tease aspect.
Seraphem
It's also my headcanon that the burned note was about the wedding. I'm implying it in the first chapter of A Debt to the Stars.

And yeah. I was really impressed with Tick Tock and Shadowstep here.
Sereg
All right. Nice one.
Sereg
I love the Doc. He is such an incredible character, and the entire plot revolving around him is so good. It's incredible how it's easy to see later just what was going on, but right now all we have are suspicions. I appreciate this story's villains immensely.
DarkLink313
Yeah, things really start to get fun from here. The O Cs were all in top fom as becomes standard.
Sereg
While I disagree with your dislike of the OTHER subplot that you don't like, I will not harp on your for not liking it. I like it a lot, from beginning to end. So far the revisions have done a good job, I think, of making it feel more natural than it did before, but I do understand why you don't like it.
DarkLink313
And they've arrived! Yes!
Sereg
Way I sees it, Chapters 1-7 are like, the first episode of the CRISIS TV show. The pilot movie, if you will. Chapter 7 brings it to its thrilling conclusion and lets us start the show off proper with episode 2 starting in Chapter 8.

Maybe, I dunno, but it sounds like a fun theory. Chapters 7 and 9 are definitely two of the best chapters in the story. It really does feel like a TV show when you can pick and choose 'best chapter' though, doesn't it?
DarkLink313
I don't have much to say here, other than great job again on a great review! This is one of those breather chapters that nobody really has much to say on :)
DarkLink313
Good review. I especially like the way Jetstream was improved - both in this one, as well as the next chapter.

The compactor walls would have been quite OK if not for one fact: that only Twi and Tick Tock seem to notice them (and Jestream, but we get ot know that just at the very end of the chapter). Would have been a good way to give Fluttershy and Lockwood at least a small cameo during the fight.

Anyway, can't wait for the next one!
atom2004
Sounds like a pretty good revision. But, YES! MEAN SIX! AWESOME!
Sereg
Well! It looks like the revisions were a big help here.
Sereg
At least Rarity isn't outright trying to snag Lockwood for herself, like CDRW thought way way back. :P
Darklink313
Well, knowing the Mane 6 are heading into a string of volcanoes, that's one hell of a title to open up on. This should be.... interesting.

A good point I hadn't noticed.

Wait, if she has to keep it up for three days, how is she going to get the eight hours of rest she needs to refresh her spell slots? The 'mass' version of a spell always takes up a slot several higher then the base spell. (Hey the story is the one writing it to sound like a D&D type spell system.)

Lol!

“Is this test multiple choice, or true-and-false?” Pinkie asked. “Or maybe it’s like an essay exam? Ooh, I hate those. I remember having to write some when I was in school, and sister let me tell you, it is hard writing without magic. Nah, this looks more like fill-in-the-blank. See ‘cause there’s a big gap in the middle that should be filled in with something else, and—"

I don't remember this. It's actually funny.

Oh, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that is nice, that is very very nice. I know exactly what that was, and that is a very VERY nice little addition. And one that someone reading for the first time wouldn't quite get, and even if they noticed, would only leave them curious and give them something to ponder. That... that is one of the best additions to the story so far in the edits. (Additions, not counting the toning down RD, since that's more an alteration or reduction.)

Agreed!

AB not having any idea about what making the jam entails, and saying she'd been waiting for years to help make some.

I just assumed that she'd previously been considered too young.

“Ah, the good ol’ ‘cookie-to-milk ratio’, albeit with different variables,” Pinkie said, nodding sagely and earning cursory glances from the others. “Truly the second-greatest conundrum of our time, just ahead of ‘why are we here?’, but behind ‘where’d I leave my keys?’”

Again. I like this.

Okay, that is hilarious, and, really seems more in character for RD.

Yes.

The utter aversion of Convection Schmonvection was brilliant.

Absolutely. Loved that.

Sereg
ThePulse
Another great review.

The only issue I have with the revised version of this chapter is "why the hell the awesome rhyme-teasing scene with Tick Tock, Pinkie and Dash was removed"? :(
atom2004
Again, this is something I LOVE about the story, the characters are often wrong, yet in believable ways.

Agreed. I really like that.

It was night time, two moons hung in the sky, and Twi lamented that the ball was tossing and rolling to much for her to get a good look at some of the new constellations above her.. It's really quite the beautiful/powerful scene.

I think this is new. I like it.

Pinkie groaned. “I hate bad news! Wait!” she shouted, holding a hoof up to stop Tick Tock from talking. “I have an idea. Maybe, if you tell us the bad news in a good way, it won’t sound so bad.”

I love that movie! Also a new addition.

Okay, how the hell does something THAT huge, and with that many numbers survive out there with so little to eat? it's like the only living things we've seen, what the hell does it eat?

Attack on Garantuan!

Sereg
Keep in mind that New Pandemonium is a Megalopolis that stretches across a good percentage of the northern hemisphere; by the time they had left the city, they already had a pretty good head start.
ThePulse
"They are still all inside the bubble, the one strong enough to block LAVA, how can she feel air moving though.. wait... how the hell were they able to breathe?"

That issue is explained in one of the later chapters, if I'm not mistaken. As to the jumpsuits and visible CM, I'm sticking to the Mean Six's image from British Starr.

Also, I think saving the Main Group by the Mean Six was the best possible way, in which the two parties could have met.

atom2004
Yeah, I got back to that later in this chapter, when she was able to make the shield allow RD and the other pegasi through, but not the rest of the ponies. Bypass Spells FTW.

The Geography, even then it just feels odd, would really love a map. Then again the simple fact that they get from one pole to the other, mostly on hoof, in like 2-3 weeks, this must be on tiny planet.
Seraphem
Then again the simple fact that they get from one pole to the other, mostly on hoof, in like 2-3 weeks, this must be on tiny planet.

Good point. Unless ponies have a standard walk speed that's faster than most cars somehow. I REALLY doubt that though.
Sereg
It is pretty odd that she's uding barriers when the other option makes more sense. Oh, well.

I like the additions. Continuity nods, extra hints, Pinkie's fear explaination, Nearly messing up the plan. It's nice.

Sereg
This is one of my favorite chapters; the first real chance to see the Mane Six and the Mean Six interact. They two groups have their own interesting inter-dynamics, and it's cool to see the Mean Six carefully manipulating the Mane Six by acting... well, "normal". Once the mask comes off, though, the two groups have a great dynamic together.
DarkLink313
Though, given who this 'partner' likely is, I'd feel more sorry for the Gargantuan that tried to mess with her.

[lol]

we get the shear joy of more Insipid idiocy

Always fun.

Insipid stared at Starlight for too long of a moment. “Uh... is that like a... trick question?”

[lol] Great addition!

You have some excellent points about Tick Tock. And they've left me wondering if she was an unconcious influence on my design of Plutonia. Quite possibly.

The Mean 6, for all intents and purposes, are at most a week old. They have fully formed personalities, but no specifics, no memories, no details beyond the overall personalty. Something that comes to light when Tick Tock presses Star on just what types of books she likes. Something Star can't answer. Clearly being caught off guard and flummoxed. Only being saved by Curacao making something up.

Clever! Nice addition!

And nice explanation for the hoofguards.

Sereg
I sooo love the interaction between the Mane and Mean Six during dinner. That extra scene was one of the best additions so far.
atom2004
the psychotic, kill crazy, lunatic

Red or Shadowstep? Iassume Red, but can't be sure.

Otherwise, great job.

Sereg
Don't. Mention. "Hearts and Hooves Days". I'm still trying to repress that episode

"You're my kissy-wissy snuggy-wuggy sugar bear."

SHUT UP!!!! GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!!!!!!!!
Lunacorva
"And suddenly, I want to see Tick Tock and Octavia interacting...."

Someone make a fic out of that, please!
atom2004
It's funny how the O Cs are more likeable than the canon characters in this story, isn't it?
Sereg
Not all of them. Still 'like' most of the Mane 6, just RD and Rarity that have issues. But yeah the OC's do tend to stand out more then the Mane 6.. well other then Pinkie of course.
Seraphem
(Okay I don't know enough about measuring gold and grading it and whatnot to know if her being able to tell this just by looking at it is bullshit or not.)[[/quteblock]]

It's a measure of gold purity. Traditionally, people would bet a rough estimate of this by biting it, because purer gold is softer.

[[quoteblock]]“Oh no,” Twilight interjected, shaking her head and waving her hooves in front of her face. “No no no, I am not lugging around a giant rock again just because you think it’s valuable. This thing is loads bigger and heavier than the last one.”

That's great.

Then you have Havoc making a comment about being 'the best fighter this side of Pandemonium." Okay, except that phrase really makes little sense. Since the city is centered right on the North pole, and is spread out in a more or less even circle. So, there really isn't another 'side' to it when you are outside of it. (Yes I know, minor nitpick now, but I'm on a role here.)

Which makes her the best fighter on the planet!

Sereg
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