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Slowzombie is blind about Dark, The Adventures of Dark Yagami
This is gonna hurt, isn't it?

71.30.183.64

71.30.183.64
Peh, it's hilarious! And just to let you know, there is no concievable plot to that story. It's a trollfic, you know?
71.30.183.64
Meet Dark
I don't even know why anyone reads past the first chapter. It's just the perfect storm of awful. The blood bananas, the blood "mowhawk", "Whales"...
EponymousKid
Flashbacks and a remarkable lack of sense
"Do you remember how the major characters in DN who died shuffled off their mortal coil with dignity, not freaking out or naked?"

Uh... Yeah... *Points to Light*
Psyga315
Well, in my defense, he was clothed at the time, and his breakdown was fairly awesome, whereas this fic has been able to produce no such thing. You are right, though, that particular death isn't... very dignified.
slowzombie
I love your attempts to reason through this atrocity. xD Just makes everything even more ridiculously funny.

pancakeplant
More lesbians
But you missed one of the most hilarious scenes, at least in the first portion of the "story" in this fic: when L said "I will have to use stealth instead" and jumped in the broken window screaming. That sole line cracked me the hell up.
xanderglz
A bomb. Also: Incest
You're awesome. I really enjoyed reading through this and sharing in the confusion and angrish.
pancakeplant
A new (ridiculous) villain
Dude, C Kira is my favorite character! And yes, he does come from canon! [URL]http://deathnote.wikia.com/wiki/C-Kira[/URL]

Come on, you act as though he's Light 2.0, bearing in mind that nobody said C Kira had the same values as the other "...Note" users; so he wanted to kill both good and evil dudes, so what? It's not as though he was singing the song to end the world, and besides he's old and he could very well have dangerous Alzheimers to excuse his behavior :/.

And, he didn't admit that he used a (royal?) Death Note either, he just said he was going to see the police about a "note" (which is foreshadowing, as he covers up the word "death" later on, in a MAGNIFISENT BASTERD MOMENT!)... in fact, it makes you wonder why he had to cover his mouth and scream "I SAID NOTHHING" anyway... 'cuz I think he could have gotten away, you know, if the bus lady wasn't going to phone L/Dark no matter what he did.

I hold out the hope that D'ark will surprise us and have his suit of armor be tough enough to withstand all the nuclears in the world!

—Ter'u S'ukami (Get it?)
DoctorDiabolical
I think I'll maintain my evaluation of C-Kira, as I'm pretty sure Alzheimers doesn't work that way. That said, he is one of the only people I'm 100% sure is supposed to be a villain, and that's something... right?
slowzombie
'Shandy' is just beer diluted with lemonade.

155.140.133.248
People die, it doesn't matter
I didn't realise that D'ark Y'agami actually kept up with this Liveblog. I'm now envisioning some kind of epic rivalry between the two of you.
Idler20
That makes two of us, Idler. I'm honestly a little surprised, but it only deepens my suspicions vis-a-vis my fellow tropers. But yeah, seems like we are locked in an epic battle, he and I. Snarker and Ficcer, Order and Chaos, Roger Ebert and The Dude Who Made The Brown Bunny, the stuff of legends folks.
slowzombie
I must say, I'm not entirely sure about this new Liveblog system. Although I do like that we now have chapter headings.
Idler20
I'm a bit uncertain myself, but there's a lot of nice features, it's more organized, I feel, and the ability to link the whole shebang to the works page of the thing definitely is a plus to me.
slowzombie
Oh, and twitter update/snark goes here, to keep things orderly, y'know.

HEY DUDES WHAT WOULD BE A GOOD NAME FOR A SHINIGAMI WITH MAGNET POWRES! I NEED TO NO FOR MY FIC!

Magnet powers? This... yeah, this is potentially amusing. Double points if there's a "Fuckin' Magnets"-joke in there somewhere.

slowzombie
There's a new update.
BadficFetish
Yeah, it's going up in a couple of minutes. This one's a keeper, y'all.
slowzombie
A memetastic farewell to Twilight
Believe it or not, the next chapter of this thing is already out.

Also, fucking magnet horses. How do they work?

I've also got to ask something here. In the next chapter (and possibly this one as well), mention is made of "Team Evil". Now...how are we differentiating the good and evil people here? I don't even remember what either side in this conflict is even trying to achieve. Plus, I don't know who out of Soichiro and Watari is supposed to be the one on Team Evil. I assume that it's Watari, because he's L's "gramps", but still, it's not exactly clear. This brings me back to ages ago in this liveblog when you referred to L as a villain, and Kris Mahai both reacted with a "wait, L's supposed to be the villain?"
Idler20
He's really cranking them out now, for some reason. Im actually working on a little something special for Christmas, so this is ... just as planned :3

When it comes to Soichiro and Watari... well, that's a good question, but I assume it's Yagamis vs. non-Yagamis, the Yagamis being the good ones because anyone who opposes Dark is a puppykicker of the worst sort, as we know.
slowzombie (edited by: slowzombie)
In which Slowzombie tries out a different style
Bravo! A round of applause for Slowzombie, L and Light (or I guess as Dark would say, A TOAST FOR THE NOT DOOSHBAGS)
SchrodingersDuck
...I still can't figure out who's supposed to be evil and who's not. What ARE they fighting FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!?
Idler20
... I don't know. I really don't know. That said, I'm not sure if I'll do any more MSTings, but this one was fun, now if only liveblogs supported line breaks and color:evil... Oh well. Also mini-story on twitter:

Near gets abducted by a spaceship full of Shinigami, who Death Noted him so hard that he "SUPER DIED" then the shinigmai crash into Planet Blud and every shinigami onboards perish... yaaay. <.<
slowzombie
According to his Twitter, D'ark is also aware of the Light and Dark drinking game. I believe that he said "SOME OF IT IS VERY MEAN THOUGH". Which is, to be fair, not entirely innaccurate.
Idler20
You know, D'ark wrote a two-chapter long Harry Potter fanfic that's also So Bad Its Good. I've been thinking of briefly Liveblogging that myself; both of his other fics are also Death Note, so you have a strict right to those, but I figure this one is fair game. What do you think?
Idler20
I say go for it, all in the name of a good laff. I have plans of doing his Extended Universe DN fics but... well, they're a bit... eh, at least compared to his lulztastic later entry of the main series.
slowzombie
Okay, I've put up a blog of the first chapter of the HP fic.

Also, have you checked D'ark's Twitter lately? Because I recommend that you look at his Tweet from Christmas Day. You might be surprised at what you find.
Idler20
Cool. Will be checking that out. On the topic of the tweet... well, I've got mixed feelings about this, but eh, it is was Christmas.
slowzombie (edited by: slowzombie)
New chapter up.
BadficFetish
Yeah, it's taken me just about a week to get through it, but the new chapter is going up shortly.
slowzombie
Can it be? An end in sight?
Wait, is this actually going to end!? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I love this fic! And this Liveblog was inspired by something I posted! This can't end!

By the way, I finally finished my liveblog of "Who Is Voldemort's Dad?"

...and why is Light upset that Misa won't have sex with him? Isn't he gay in this? I suppose he could just be a really camp bisexual, but I doubt D'ark thought it through to that extent.
Idler20
To answer your question... I don't know. I just don't know any more. Light and L have been jumping all around the Kinsey Scale for about thirty installments by now, and I don't even know any more D:
slowzombie
It does seem like this is approaching an end. But the writing of is so insane that really, he could do anything at this point to make it last longer and it would be no less consistent that anything else written previously. Maybe someone will find an Uber Life Life Note or something and bring back the entire rest of the world's population.
Idler20
I don't know if anyone told you about this, Slow, so I'll mention it here; we recently had forum awards and this was nominated for best Liveblog. Now, I think voting occurred a little bit after the voting was closed or something, but still, as it is now, this came second to Mr AHR's EGS Liveblog, and was the only one other than that one to finish with a positive amount of votes.

So, congratulations! I was hoping you'd win, personally, but ah well.
Idler20
Huh. I did not know about this. Well, it was nice to be nominated, and to be the runners up, for that matter :D
slowzombie
So, just out of curiosity, have you even begun to suspect this to be a trollfic by this point?

Also, I'm so sweeping the next liveblog awards that it's not even funny.
EponymousKid
Let's just say... the thought has crossed my mind, and it was discussed at some length in the original thread. At this point, though, I'm just kicking back and enjoy the madness for what it's worth. Lately, it's been pretty entertaining madness.
slowzombie
Okay, I just got to the "they were bananas made of blood" thing and I'm convinced it's a troll. Unfortunately, this takes all the humor out of it for me, so I'm going to pretend really really hard that someone actually thought this wasn't the herpiest derp since herp came to derptown.
EponymousKid
Continuity Errors, Fridge Logic and No Sells, Oh My
I guess this wasn't the final baddle after all.

Also, further evidence that this was written to be funny: "They traded some punch and drank it and then they got down to the combat." That line is clearly, clearly meant to make it seems like the author has misspelled "they traded some punches", only to humorously subvert this expectation.

And I hate to pummel a deceased equine here, but what is with the moralities of these characters? I'm fairly sure that there was a point, long ago, when Dark was killing people and was at least treated as something of a bad guy. Now L is doing everything "evilly" and making pacts with the shinigami devil, while Dark heroically resists him because of The Power Of Love. How did this happen?
Idler20
2Thanks for blowing up the life note robot!" Foreshadowing? Who needs it.

But it was totally foreshadowed! After all, A long way away there was a bang like a robot exploding but noone heard so they carried on.
SchrodingersDuck
Oh yeah, that's right. Huh, I'd say "well played, author" .. but that'd be a horrible horrible lie.
slowzombie
Also: Twitter update, yay! The author posts:

IF BATMAN IS A BAT WHY DONT HE DRINK BLOOD?

The obvious answer is obvious. Batman is a fruit bat :D
slowzombie
I like how D'ark has cookie guns and a Talk-To-Not-Dead-Dudes note, but include an animal-themed superhero who doesn't act exactly like the animal? NEVER!
Idler20
There's another chapter!
BadficFetish
Huzzah! I'll be covering it tomorrow, today's been busy, so I'm a tired snarker.
slowzombie
Home stretch?
"A HA HA WELL WHATEVER NOW ALL THAT'S LEFT TO DO IS WATCH YOUR GENEROUSLY BOSOMED WIFE FALL INTO THE BALCKHOLE."

What a brilliant sentence.

I can't believe this is nearly over (if that is indeed the case). It's almost enough to bring a tear to one's eyes, don't you agree?
Idler20
Well, some kind of tear, maybe :P I'm kinda wondering what I'll complain about if this thing ever ends, though. Maybe I'll give Stan Helsing a good what-for. I don't know.
slowzombie
I think there are a couple of chapters of the author's other Death Note fics that you haven't done yet.

Beyond that, I don't know what you'll do either. I should try to be the one to recommend the next thing, that way I'll have succeeded in almost ruining your life twice over, haha.
Idler20
Twitter update! The author writes: "TVTROPES SAYS YOTSUBA IS A GIRL WITH THE GREEN HAIR AND THE TINY BUT THATS NOT TRUE! HE IS A MANLY MAN AND GREASY AND KILLS WITH EVIL POWER!"

... yeah, I do believe we've been through this, but I just felt like updating y'all. Also, there's a relationship chart, but I'm not touching that thing.
slowzombie
Wow, that chart is like something straight out of Sweet Bro And Hella Jeff.
Haven
I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE CHARTS BRO! I TOLD YOU DOG.
slowzombie
New Chapter

BadficFetish
Battles and Breastmilk
...this isn't really going to end, is it? No. No, it can't.

...can it?

Also, am I the only one who noticed that this chapter possibly contained a Crucified Hero Shot? Where Dark's arms are nailed to the wall?
Idler20
Yeah, possibly, but the arm position was ambiguous, so I didn't pothole it.
slowzombie
Ohhh, stop pretending you aren't enjoying it, you!
71.51.188.156
Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't find this fun at all. Actually, the fic is overall more entertaining now that it pulls insane outrageous shit all the time, it's pretty fun, although I must admit, the lactation fetish this thing suddenly developed is kind of pushing it. Will it be nice to be done with this thing, though? Hell yes.
slowzombie
2X INCEST REACHAROUND
Oh...oh my God. What is this? What...? I... *applauds*

Well done, slowzombie, you are a real soldier for doing this, I...I though LOVE, BULLETS AND IMMORTALITY was bad but...god, no. What the hell?
sanityisoverrated
There's something almost genuinely touching about the last chapter, don't you think?
Idler20
Don't know if you're still doing this, but the epilogue is up.
SchrodingersDuck
The fail pile does't stop from getting higher
You fail for taking this seriously.
Bobbk
no? not gonna liveblog the last two epilouge bits? :C aww we love you anyway. except that guy above me, apperently
eddddd
No, continue! I love this. Pay no mind to Bobbk.
pancakeplant
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