-->''"Just like that [[Literature/HarryPotter other magical boarding school]]... if the top student spent all his time trying to conjure strippers."''

''[[http://www.meetmyminion.com/?p=1031 Wizard School]]'' is a webcomic parodying Harry Potter that updates Mondays and Wednesdays.

The comic is about Russell Graham, a drunken, arrogant rich guy who is substituted for the "Chosen One" after being tattooed with an identical mark on his face by the comic's villain. Graham is then found by agents from Bumblebane's Magical Academy of the Wizarding Arts, who take him to their wizard school for training.

[[quoteright:300:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/wizard_school_square_4617.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:300:Biggest regret over a drunken evening? Blue stars all over your face.]]

!!'''This webcomic contains examples of:'''
* AdultsAreUseless: Every adult in the comic is hopelessly stupid, evil or Graham.
* TheAlcoholic: Graham is definitely one.
* AlcoholInducedIdiocy: Graham's decision to tattoo stars on his face to impress Chydossa.
* AllGirlsLikePonies: Graham tries to bribe Celeste with a pony to get back to the real world - although he wants to feed it [[http://www.meetmyminion.com/?p=1303 "processed pony chow, made from other ponies. Or whatever it is neglected ponies eat."]].
* ButLiquorIsQuicker: Graham tries to get into Chydossa's pants when she tells him: [[http://www.meetmyminion.com/?p=1131 "My God. I get so horny when a man has money and I drink lots of alcohol."]]
* ButThouMust: In a parody of the Sorting Hat scene, Graham is offered a choice between heroic Dragonsbane and ObviouslyEvil Serpentor. He chooses Serpentor... and is told it was just a formality and he's going to Dragonsbane anyway.
* CanisLatinicus: All the spells in the comic sound at least vaguely like Latin.
* TheChewToy: Graham's abduction and forced confinement in a wizarding academy is [[PlayedForLaughs played entirely for laughs]].
* ChildMage: The children - particularly Merrill.
* TheChosenOne: Subverted to all hell.
* DangerouslyGenreSavvy: Wyrmspawn appears to be this in the prologue. When the two young wizards boast that they've proofed themselves against every spell in the book, Wyrmspawn simply [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim pulls out a revolver and guns them down.]]
* DrinkOrder: Graham's is a "Scotch. With extra scotch."
* EmbarrassingTattoo: Graham's series of stars.
* EverythingsEvenWorseWithSharks
* ExtremeOmniGoat: Goatsie wants to eat everything from sheets to loafers to stripper heels.
* FacialMarkings: Graham's tattoo.
* FakeUltimateHero: Graham - unintentionally on his part, but he'd probably play it to the hilt, if he knew what the hell was going on most of the time.
* {{Familiar}}: Goatsie, a talking goat, is Graham's familiar.
* GenreBlindness: Graham doesn't seem to have read ''any'' fantasy books.
** On the other hand, when he does evince some GenreSavvy, no one believes him.
* GettingCrapPastTheRadar: (To the extent that the internet ''has'' a radar). Goatsie's name is a fairly transparent reference to an infamous ShockSite.
* GoodIsDumb: The comic runs on this and abusing Graham.
* HairOfTheDog: Graham wants more alcohol after waking up in the Academy to get rid of his hangover.
* HalfHumanHybrid: Wyrmspawn and the Dragonkin.
* HookersAndBlow: Graham has [[http://www.meetmyminion.com/?p=1311 an interest in both.]]
* {{Jerkass}}: Graham. He wouldn't be in the mess he's in otherwise.
* LastNameBasis: Nearly everyone called the protagonist "Mr. Graham."
* MagicWand: Used by everyone at the school.
* MorphicResonance: When playing Transmogritus, it's still possible to tell the main characters apart (Celeste still has her glasses, for example).
* NoodleIncident: Pretty much all of Graham's life up to this point.
-->'''Graham''': What's a little girl doing in my bedroom?
-->'''Celeste''': Taking you to see the headmaster.
-->'''Graham''': Okay. I've gotten worse answers to that question.
* ObviouslyEvil: All the villains.
* ParodyMagicSpell: [[http://www.meetmyminion.com/?p=1303 "Bastardized Latinium]]," among others.
* PinkGirlBlueBoy: During Transmogritus, [[http://www.meetmyminion.com/?p=1423 Celeste turns pink and Merrill turns blue.]]
* ThePointsMeanNothing: The inter-school competition is mainly a device to keep the students in line, as Graham points out with his characteristic withering cynicism.
* PowerGlows: Graham's star tattoo glows once Wyrmspawn casts a spell on it.
* PowerTattoo: Graham's series of stars on his face.
* RobeAndWizardHat: Worn by all the teachers.
* SlippingAMickey: What Goatsie wants to do with Merrill's [[http://www.meetmyminion.com/?p=1309 summoned pile of drugs.]]
* SmokingIsCool: Graham cuts class to smoke cigarettes instead of learning.
* SpoiledBrat: Gavin Gothicus.
* StrangerInAStrangeSchool: Graham is taken, against his will, from a night of drinking to a school for wizards.
* TalkingAnimal: Goatsie.
* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: Wyrmspawn gives a short one to [[Literature/HarryPotter Harry and Hermione]] {{expy}}s in the prologue.
* UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist: Intentional, in-universe: Wyrmspawn choose "the most vile, selfish, reprehensible shit [he] could find."
* VoluntaryShapeshifting: The students when playing Transmogritus.
* WakingUpElsewhere
* WhatDidIDoLastNight: Graham after his [[http://www.meetmyminion.com/?p=1147 drunken bender.]]
* WizardBeard: Headmaster Farnsdorf has a lengthy wizard beard.
* WizardingSchool: The comic is set in one.