Two Lumps is a webcomic about two purebred Russian Blue cats. Ebenezer Dusk, Esq. (usually referred to as "Eben" or "Benny"), is a scholarly cat with a never-fully-described position in the feline conspiracy to take over the world. His brother Snooch is overweight and not exactly bright, but gets a great deal of enjoyment out of life (aided by large quantities of alcohol). The two cats live with "Mom," their human [[strike: owner]] provider of food and attention.

The comic is written by Mel Hynes, and drawn by James Grant. It was inspired by Mel's two purebred Russian Blue cats, Raistlin and Caramon (named for the {{Dragonlance}} characters -- three guesses why they were renamed for the comic). It updates three times per week, and can be found [[http://www.twolumps.net/ here]].
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!! This webcomic contains examples of:

* AndIMustScream: Snootch's [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20120910.html second brain]], possibly.
* BrainBleach: A vodka variant followed [[http://twolumps.net/d/20120810.html one Olympics event]]:
-->'''Snooch:''' Th' Men's Volleyball Teams're wearin' th' same uniforms azza Women's. [[FanDisservice It wuz Italy vs Greece]]...
* BrandX: Eben wears "Squishypaws" (real product is [=SoftPaws=]) to minimize claw damage to furniture.
** One story arc involved the cats' human "Mom" getting a [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20050321.html "uRobot"]] (Roomba).
* BrickJoke: From the [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20040316.html first comic]]. Comes up again on the [[http://twolumps.net/d/20050316.html first anniversary]].
* TheCasanova: Eben thinks he qualifies. [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20050518.html Nightmare]] disagrees.
** [[{{Tsundere}} Unless, of course]] [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20050606.html no one's looking]]
* CatsAreMean: Eben, frequently.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Snooch
* ConeOfShame: Snooch had to wear a cone, and was using it as a megaphone.
* CreatorCouple: Mel and James celebrated the third anniversary of the comic by getting married.
* DeadpanSnarker: Eben.
* [[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu Did You Just Pee On Cthulhu]]: See the third entry under Eldritch Abomination.
* EldritchAbomination: Automatic litter boxes possessed by demons, a gate to the SilentHill world in the bathroom of their new home, a new mop that's a Cthuloid critter in disguise ....
* ExtremeOmnivore: Snooch. Among the things he's consumed are a bowl of change, scented candles, and ''fireworks''.
** Don't forget cement
* TheFaceless: Most humans ("Mom" in particular) appear either from the knees down or as voices issuing from off-panel.
* FilkSong: Mel enjoys writing strips where all the dialogue is filked songs.
* FluffyCloudHeaven: A tribute comic after "Eben's" death.
* GratuitousJapanese: Neither Mel nor James know what the kanji that shows up on occasion means.
* HulkSpeak: Eben resorts to this to sum up the "moving day" story arc to Snooch:
--->'''Snooch''': Big words?
--->'''Eben''': Sorry. Ahem. WE LIVE HERE NOW. ME ANGRY. ME GOING TO PEE ON EVERYTHING.
* IReadItForTheArticles: Eben's justification for reading [[http://www.catchannel.com/magazines/catfancy/default.aspx "Cat Fancy"]].
* InMemoriam: [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20090814.html This]] strip, after Caramon died.
** [[http://twolumps.net/d/20110623.html Now]] Raistlin, too.
* IncrediblyLamePun: Both the cats pull these on a regular basis.
* ItTastesLikeFeet: Baby powder does not taste like real babies, evidently.
* LethalChef: Not that either of them cooks often, but do we even ''want'' to know why Snooch's recipe for brownies includes [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20060529.html mustard]] and [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20060531.html garlic]]?
* {{Lolcat}}: Snooch speaks in this on occasion, and specific memes have been referenced, including [[http://twolumps.net/d/20070921.html this]] IncrediblyLamePun.
* MajorGeneralSong: [[http://twolumps.net/d/20060925.html I am the very model of a shedding individual...]]
* MobileFishbowl: The Angry Fish goes after Snooch with a water-filled (and bubble-topped) tank.
* OhMyGods: "Great Bast!" among many, ''many'' others.
** including [[Literature/{{Discworld}} "by Offler's impacted bowels" and "for the love of Blind Io"]]
* PaintingTheMedium: The StrawmanPolitical goldfish's speech is rendered in military-style stencils.
* ShoutOut: At one point Eben and Snooch encountered a street cat named Tasselhoff, a reference to ''{{Dragonlance}}'' (and the origin of the real-life cats' names).
** One pre-Thanksgiving strip parodied Jimmy McMillan when Snooch went looking for ice cream, only to discover that the freezer was instead filled with a certain kind of pastry:
-->'''Snooch''': The contents... of this freezer... are TOO DAMN PIE!
** And this page is the ultimate shout out to {{Labyrinth}} [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20061009.html]] with Sarah's famous monologue ...
--> '''Benny''' : Through vacations untold and temperature takings unnumbered...
* StrawmanPolitical: The household recently acquired [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20101015.html a goldfish]] that speaks almost entirely in stereotyped right-wing rhetoric.
* TakeThat: A FillerStrip [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20050513.html jab]] at Megatokyo, and the occasional poke at {{Garfield}} in earlier strips.
** They've also made jabs at Webcomic/DinosaurComics.
* ThoughtBubbleSpeech
* TributeToFido: Both cats are based on the author's (now deceased) pets.
* VisualPun The goldfish adds tank treads and a turret to his fishbowl at one point, turning it into a Fish [[TankGoodness Tank]].
* WholePlotReference: They've done arcs based on:
** ''[[YetAnotherChristmasCarol A Christmas Carol]]''
** ''[[OffToSeeTheWizard Wizard of Oz]]''
** ''Literature/AliceInWonderland''
** ''[[Creator/EdgarAllanPoe "The Cask of Amontillado"]]''
** ''[[Literature/TheHungerGames The Hunger Games]]''
** ''Literature/TheShining''
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