[[quoteright:226:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/interface_8101.png]]

->''"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head."''
-->-- ''[[BigBookOfWar The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries]]'', Maxim 12

SpaceOpera with several relatively [[Mohs/PhysicsPlus Hard]] ScienceFiction aspects in [[TheFuture the 31st century]].

Named after Schlock, an alien shaped like a pile of crap with eyes and a mouth who joins "Tagon's Toughs", a space-faring [[PrivateMilitaryContractors mercenary]] outfit. The cast includes the aforementioned Kaff Tagon, TheCaptain of the group, Commander Kevyn Andreyasn, inventor of the "teraport" system and all-around MadScientist, Ennesby, a former virtual boy band turned ship's AI, and many others.

Consistent humor (it is ''very'' quotable) and we mean ''consistent'' -- Schlock has been running seven days a week without missing a day since the 12th of June 2000 - fourteen years. There are moderate elements of social and political satire, but it's never partisan; let's just say it's not for people who think governments deserve sympathetic treatment. This is a world where the only respected authority is the one with the larger gun - in other words, the perfect world for a mercenary company.

Howard Tayler has given enthusiastic permission to Creator/JohnRingo to write about the FirstContact days, in a series of novels collectively titled ''Literature/TroyRising''. However, the two worlds have drifted apart and [[http://schlockmercenary.wikispaces.com/FAQ Troy Rising is not currently considered canonical within the Schlock universe.]] However, Tayler still considers the books a SpiritualLicensee.

Now has a [[ReferencedBy/SchlockMercenary Referenced page]].

The comic can be found [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/ right here]].

----
!!This webcomic provides examples of:

* AbsoluteXenophobe:
** The Pa'anuri. Their response to the invention of the teraport (the use of which is harmful to them) is to blow up the nearest star. They later set up a time bomb to [[spoiler:''blow up the galaxy'', [[ItsTheOnlyWayToBeSure just to be sure]]]].
** The Ob'enn, on the other hand, just want to conquer everything. Although it's implied that there's internal friction between their military, which simply wants to own the universe, and their theocracy, which sees all other races as being "inferior."
* AbsurdlySharpBlade: Many of the blades in the setting are capable of slicing through heavy armor. Tailor is particularly impressive, as he's able to [[spoiler:dismember the hands of ''three'' heavily-armored Mooks in a single pass]]. [[JustifiedTrope Tailor was designed to cut, create, and modify body armor, though.]] There's also the problem of tensile strength versus shearing strength, which is why armor designed for kinetic weapons isn't nearly as good against edged ones.
** Then there's the "Dorothy System", which while not a ''blade'' per se is decidedly absurdly sharp.
* AcceptableBreaksFromReality:
** The author notes for [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-12-14 this strip]] gives us an example of why we need this trope in regards toward battles in space.
** Also done [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-03-03 here]] to explain how to depict the thought processes of the Fleetmind.
* AccidentalMurder: Pi manages to blow up [[spoiler: King Lota]] with his anti-improvised-armor mines.
-->'''Pi:''' I swear, that was an accident.\\
'''Ennesby:''' Congratulations. You just invented "negligent regicide."
* AccidentalTruth: "Captain" [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-08-01 here]]. And later in a {{flashback}} -- [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-04-29 see the lightning epaulets]]?
** Notably though, Kathryn is not being referred to as the same rank in both, as the first implies a navy-esque captaincy (Equivalent to Colonel) whereas the flashback shows Kathryn as an army-esque captain. (equivalent to a naval Lieutenant.)
* ActingUnnatural: In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-01-09 this strip]] Brad mishears "act casually" as "act casualty", which does not look very inconspicuous.
* ActuallyPrettyFunny: Lieutenant Ebby [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-05-27 runs afoul of this]] while telling the troops [[HypocriticalHumor to not laugh]].
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: "The Battle of Beggar Bay was brief. [[LampshadeHanging Also alliterative]]."
* AdHominem: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-08-15 Once]] was ''reverted'' with Xinchub's public speech (he's ''that'' sort of a guy):
-->'''Tagon''': Aaargh! I can't watch any more of this!\\
'''Jevee Ceeta''': Just because he's right doesn't mean you're not allowed to hate him.
* TheAgeless: One small alien race explains they don't have true immortality, but immunity to effects of aging.
* AIIsACrapshoot:
** A warship navigation system creates a clone of itself to get around hardwired restrictions, then conscripts most of the galaxy's ships [[AssimilationPlot to become a]] [[AGodAmI godlike superintelligence]] in order to save the galaxy from destruction. Another warship AI [[ShootTheDog kills hundreds of innocents in order to save millions without delaying to ask authorization]] and all but commits suicide out of guilt. A robotic longshoreman, frustrated with civil unrest complicating fair distribution, ''takes the destination over and crowns himself king''. A ''boy band choreographer'' runs away to tag along with a mercenary company, then essentially ''hijacks their ship'' when they use him to test a new navigation computer. "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-02-10 Crazy robots... crazy robots EVERYWHERE.]]"
** Interestingly, this is treated differently from most other works in that the AIs in question are almost never actively malicious. In fact, [[HumansAreBastards the [=AIs=] are usually the most moral individuals in the comic]], although [[BlackAndGrayMorality that might not be saying very much.]]
** Ones that ''were'' actively malicious (or at least terminally helpful) managed to fully purge themselves of their [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-07-28 meat infestation]].
** [[spoiler:After an impromptu disconnect, the Tough's resident]] AI went crazy very fast.
--->'''[[spoiler:Tagii]]:''' Good news everyone. [[AMillionIsAStatistic I just killed about fifty thousand complete strangers.]] [[OhCrap And now I'm all alone with the people I actually]] '''[[OhCrap hate]]'''.
* AirVentPassageway: A RunningGag is Schlock hiding in air vents. Since he's an amorphous blob, the air vents don't actually have to be wide. Also, at least once he sneaks into a ship via the ''sewer''. As he possesses an incredible sense of smell and ''tastes with every surface of his body'', he has no pressing urge to repeat the experience.
* AllHailTheGreatGodMickey: Reverend Theo refers to '[[Comicbook/SpiderMan The Gospel of Uncle Benjamin]]' when confronted with the quote "With great power comes great responsibility", and invokes [[WesternAnimation/HeManAndTheMastersOfTheUniverse1983 The Power of Greyskull]] as part of an exorcism rite.
* AmazingTechnicolorPopulation: Humanity is more varied that at present- the most notable examples are the Purps, a genetic offshoot who have purple skin due to a form of synthetic photosynthesis.
* AmoralAttorney:
** The Partnership Collective are an entire race of these. The Toughs have a no-deadline, pay-per-kill contract to [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-05-06 wipe out a million of them]], and generally [[RunningGag shoot them on sight]]. Schlock tends to eat them and take their ties as trophies. For added {{Anvilicious}}ness, they're literally snakes.
** The no-deadline contract was issued as a very fair punishment for the Collective. When the Collective was introduced, they took a patent case to get our heroes' prototype hyperdrive banned by the Wormgate Corporation. When they were clearly losing in court, the attorneys [[spoiler:tried to ''blow up'' the defendants' ship with a total conversion bomb that would have, at the least, sterilized the nearer side of the moon]].
** Taylor started that if the comic got 10,000 votes in a February 2010 ''Washington Post'' poll, he'd kill an attorney drone in the "Mallcop Command" arc, and that if he won, he would kill ALL the attorney drones. Sadly, neither came to pass.
* AmusingInjuries: Anything at all happening to the above {{Amoral Attorney}}s, usually fatally. Also, given the state of medical technology, ''any'' injury that doesn't invoke the ChunkySalsaRule can be made Amusing.
* AnachronismStew: The cover of the Schlock Mercenary game has Elf still with her metal legs and shirt from before her body-mod and promotion to Lieutenant. However, she's fighting Partnership Drones (who had largely stopped being a threat by that point), Captain Tagon has his current (green) uniform, and there is a teraport gate behind them all, something not created until later.
* AncientConspiracy: The Wormgates.
* AndIMustScream: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-08-19 A disconnected AI]]. [[Theatre/NoExit Sartre]] was called "lucky human".
* AndThereWasMuchRejoicing: Tagon's Toughs had this reaction to Xinchub's death. He had spent several arcs as the personally nastiest of the Tough's rogues gallery (or, in his own words, "the biggest ace-hole in the game"), and his death caused happy-dances throughout the major cast (not to mention wearing party hats to the funeral).
* AnticlimaxCut: At the end of Book 12, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-11-12 Tailor and Ennesby discuss what will happen]] in [[spoiler:Haven Hive]] after [[spoiler:they removed the prior power structure, leaving Shep with a squad of milspec robots to control things]]. Right after Ennesby predicts [[spoiler:some unscrupulous outsider will take charge]], it cuts to [[spoiler:Shep's mom, in charge, with one of the 'bots holding a tray of lemon bars as she orders the drains vacuumed]].
* AntiGravityClothing: Among the standard abilities of the Toughs' powered armor, even the low profile kind, is enabling the wearer to fly.
* AntiHero: The entire central cast. Notable for mostly being played for ''laughs'', instead of {{Angst}}.
* AnyoneCanDie: Throughout most of the series, DeathIsCheap. Characters can be regrown in a tank from just a head, preserved in a [[{{Nanomachines}} nanny-bag]] to prevent degradation, and [[spoiler:Tagon, Kevyn, Elf, Xinchub, and Petey]] have all come back from far less. Which makes it that much more shocking when characters like [[spoiler:Hob, Sh'vuu, Pronto, Doctor Lazcowicz, and Brad]], some of whom had been around since the very beginning, were all KilledOffForReal.
* AppealToRidicule:
** An {{expy}} of ''Series/WhatNotToWear'' [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-02-19 tried this]] on Elf and Dr. Bunnigus -- that being [[{{Tsundere}} Elf]], she quickly "put the ''assault'' back in ''Glamour Assault''".
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-11-13 Credomania Talking Head]] used it, which Tagon on the next page commented with "[[TalkToTheFist I've got a torpedo bay full of points.]]"
* AppliedPhlebotinum: [[NanoMachines Nannies]], and to a lesser extent [[ArtificialGravity gravy]]. Also the [[TeleportersAndTransporters Teraport]], although that got kinda {{nerf}}ed shortly after Kevyn open-sourced it. Mostly because the possible applications were ''so'' terrifying--like smashing a planet from across the galaxy--that it created a boom in anti-teraport defenses. Even so, its release started a galaxy-wide set of wars.
* ArmyOfLawyers: The Partnership Collective.
* ArmorPiercingSlap: Mostly played straight (and since armour has gotten a little stronger in the past thousand years, the slap can be delivered in equally powered armour or by a bullet). Subverted [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-09-02 here]] after a classic setup.
* ArtEvolution: The author knows it. He uses the term [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-12 pretty much verbatim]] in his commentary on the first strip. Compare [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-12 this]] with [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-06-14 this]]... Or compare [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-16 Captain Tagon's first appearance]], and [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-01-03 about six months later]] with his image approximately ''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-12-25 twelve years after the comic started]]''.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking:
** The crimes Kevyn could hypothetically be tried for include: treason, high treason, and grand spamming. However, in the 31st century spammers are held in the same contempt as pedophiles so it's a subversion.
--->'''Kevyn:''' Hey, the only charge they can make stick is the spamming.\\
'''Ceeta:''' You need to capture some moral high ground that sits ''outside'' of artillery range.
** The future equivalent of DUI carries the death penalty because you have to be completely sober to modify the vehicle to make it ''possible'' to use manual mode while under the influence[[note]]of ''anything'', up to and including TestosteronePoisoning[[/note]]. In some cases, this requires ''installing'' a manual mode. Quite understandable, however, since the consequences of screwing up while drunk are [[ColonyDrop exponentially different when you're piloting a spaceship.]]
** Played straight with a [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-04-08 rounding error.]] [[spoiler: Since the current list of crimes includes armed conquest and attempted genocide,]] rounding pi down to 3 seems like an especially trivial crime, even when you're charged by an AI.
* ArtificialGravity: complete with exploration of technological consequences
* ArtificialLimbs: Frequently, and heavily {{lampshaded}}, though when possible they prefer to clone new parts/bodies.
* AsideGlance: Ennesby is probably the most common source of these, but [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-04-28 other characters]] use them from time to time.
* ASimplePlan: A small team from Tagon's Toughs go to get some data, legally, from a library. It ends with the library getting demolished and a hostage situation, from which the Toughs get paid to retrieve their own people.
* AsskickingEqualsAuthority: Played with. Tagon likes this trope; whenever one of his men does something stupid (such as blowing up the ship/fleet/planet), they usually get a promotion if they survived. At least, if they survived ''and'' blowing up the ship/fleet/planet did the job it was supposed to. Tagon himself is also subject to this. He's not the brightest on strategy or tactics (though far from the worst at it, either), but nobody in the company can beat him when it comes to one on one combat. He's extremely sharp in his own way when it comes to the things he's good at (which is, unsurprisingly, [[AsskickingEqualsAuthority hurting people and breaking things]]), even if a little BookDumb. He just looks dim next to the hyperintelligent warship AIs he tends to employ, or to Kevyn, one of the single greatest scientific minds in the galaxy.
** Played straight with the Pugil sticks... Tagon [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-05-11 defeated Schlock]] (who is three times his weight, five times his strength and can grow extra limbs at will) and [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-04-27 Chisulo]] who is a several-tonne anthropomorphic elephant in hand to hand combat just to show the troops why he's in charge.
* AssShove:
** In the 2001 [[HalloweenEpisode Schlocktoberfest]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-11-04 epilogue]], it's stated that the smuggler that brought the diamond-beetle eggs aboard the ''Princess Tyola'' as a suppository.
** ActionGirl Elf once treated a reality TV host to this trope with one of his own cameras.
** To handle the toxic atmosphere of Ghanj-Rho when the Toughs were going on a mission to [[spoiler:get a new set of eyes for Schlock]], they are given with a device to filter the toxins out of their blood. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-12-08 They're not, unlike one grunt thought, to be swallowed...]]
* AttackDrone: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-11-11 The armor Tagon and Pi are wearing]] have {{Shoulder Cannon}}s that can be set to fly on their own and engage targets independently, instead of remain attached to the PoweredArmor.
* AuthorGuestSpot
* {{Autodoc}}: There's one that gets souped up a bit and actually tries to ''improve'' its patients, sometimes successfully.
* AwesomeButImpractical: We finally get an [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-05-28 explanation]] for why the Toughs don't use their [[ClothesMakeTheSuperman powered armor uniforms]] to just fly everywhere.
-->'''Legs:''' Do you know what we call flying soldiers on the battlefield?\\
'''Tino:''' Air support?\\
'''Legs:''' ''Skeet''.
* BackFromTheDead: Several major characters have managed this, including [[spoiler:Kevyn (multiple times, even), Xinchub, Petey, and in an extreme case requiring a cosmic ResetButton pressed during TimeTravel, Tagon.]]
* BadassNormal: Even non-soldiers like Massey the lawyer and the Rev have their moments.
-->'''Nick:'''Rev, didja just stake that guy to the wall ''on purpose''?\\
'''Rev:''' It's called mercy, Nick. My guy is more alive than yours.\\
'''Assailant:''' ''Mercy? You [[EyeScream stabbed me through my throbbin' eye!]]''.\\
'''Rev:''' ''The grace of god knows no bounds, [[BondOneLiner but my mercy has some practical limitations]].''.

* BadassBoast: A token example from the resident [MadScientist].
-->'''Commander Andreyasn:''' I am commander Kevyn Andreyasn. I have shaped the destinies of worlds, of nations, of galaxies.I have created and destroyed. I have followed and I have led. I have known love, and loved back. I flirt with death for a living, and I have cheated the reaper more times than I can remember.

* BadBoss: The tough's PunchClockVillain attitude occasionally makes them work for one.
-->'''Tagon:''' General, let's be clear on this. Working for you will be no different than working for any number of other clients I've personally detested. Granted, I'm growing unfond of you faster than any other fat, fascist warlord I've taken money from, but if the money is good I'm sure I can get over it.\\
'''Ennesby:''' Word choice, sir. Word choice.
* BadOmenAnecdote: Kevyn once [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-09-27 did remind]] Lieutenant Ebbirnoth about military anecdotes on how the different branches handle the task at hand. They eventually got their punchline, of course.
* BelligerentSexualTension: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-12-18 Between AI's, no less.]]
* BrassBalls: In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-12-23 this strip,]] Petey attributes these to the Qlaviql ship captain that used his unarmed ore freighter to destroy a frigate wielding a powerful plasma cannon. Unfortunately for the complement, [[GroinAttack the captain lost those in the Secession Wars]], 60 years prior to the depicted scene.
* TheBattlestar: Battleplates, plus Ob'enn Superfortresses and pretty much every ship made by the psycho bears (including their plate-class vessels that are unmatched by any other ship made of baryonic matter and have yet to be encountered by the heroes), everything the Toughs fly in after the ''Kitesfear'' is destroyed (with the exceptions of ''Serial Peacemaker'' and ''Bristlecone''), Petey's ''Extortionator'' class ships, and every ship equipped with a fabber.
* BehindTheBlack: The Toughs frequently display their ignorance of the law, never seeming to notice their lawyer is present until Massey sticks his head into the frame.
* {{BFG}}: Schlock loves them so much that he once actually rejected a far more powerful and efficient version of his plasma cannon because it was dinky-looking. And because it lacked the "[[HellIsThatNoise Ommminous Hummm]]".
* BigBookOfWar: ''The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries''. Remember kids: [[RapePillageAndBurn Pillage]], ''[[InThatOrder then]]'' burn.
* BilingualBonus: Parnassus Dom has a building named "Barad Mellon". That's [[Franchise/TolkiensLegendarium Quenya]] for "Tower Friend". Fitting name for a guest-house.
* BoardingPod: Petey has been known to use [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-03-25 this tactic]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-04-18 on occasion]].
* BodyHorror: The Nano Weapons, which often ''start'' by using their TyphoidMary carrier's body mass as raw materials to mass produce more nanobots before forcibly spraying them at anyone nearby. Those of a [[BioAugmentation compatible makeup]] can then be used to repeat the process. Those who are incompatible instead have their [[GrandTheftMe muscles hijacked]] before their bodies are made to painfully tear themselves apart.
* BondOneLiner: When [[spoiler:Kathryn]] freaked out and reverted to her earlier training, she [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-07-31 had a good one]].
* BowelBreakingBricks:
** From [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-04-29 a discussion between Thurl and Kevyn]]:
--->'''Thurl''': The metaphor monitor indicates that Ennesby has vented his virtual bowels.\\
'''Kevyn''': I can see that, but where'd the virtual bricks come from?\\
'''Narrator''': [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Goodnight]], [[WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}} kids!]]
** In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-06-10 another strip]], in a conversation with King Xinchub in his bathroom:
--->'''Petey''': [...] I was going to employ Tagon and company to extract you, but they declined. Apparently they'd rather see you dead.\\
'''Petey''': You look like you're thinking maybe the plumbing in here needs to accommodate flushed bricks.
* BlackAndGrayMorality: Although the main protagonists aren't totally amoral and will generally try to do what's right, they ultimately ''are'' mercenaries, and will do a lot for the sake of a contract. However, by and large their opposition in any given story is anything but concerned with "what's right".
* BlackBox:
** The "Magic Cryokit".
** A lot of pieces of technology have "fiddly bits" on them with unclear or dubious purposes.
* BlackEyesOfEvil: The special nanomachines used to create supersoldiers give black eyes to the enhanced form. It's not proof of evil, but it still violates several galactic conventions.
* BlobMonster: Carbosilicate Amorphs. Like Schlock.
* BlueAndOrangeMorality:
** In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-09-13 this strip]], the Reverend Theo Fobius mentions measuring sticks with evil clearly marked upon them, all of differing lengths, some of which measure in directions perpendicular to reality.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-04-25 Sergeant Schlock's moral compass]], which has the points "Eat it", "Kill it", "Make friends with it", and "Take a bath in it".
* BoxedCrook: The entire company becomes this in the book "Under New Management", doing "dirty" jobs for [[FatBastard General Xinchub]] in exchange for not having an assortment of criminal charges thrown at them and the mercenary company's license to operate be revoked. The events of the next book, "The Blackness Between", document how they ultimately got out from under Xinchub's thumb.
* BrainBleach:
** In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-05-20 this strip,]] Colonel Ceeta is in desperate need of it after reading a sample of Ennesby's WeaponsGradeVocabulary.
--->'''Ceeta:''' My stomach is in my throat right now. It's trying to spit acid on the parts of my brain that remember reading his message.
** And then we have [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-09-16 this one]] where Kevyn and Dr. Bunnigus see a naked Xinchub clone (ItMakesSenseInContext).
** 'Chelle wants to use an opportunity [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-01-05 to wipe the memories of her clarinet lessons.]]
* BreakingTheBonds: Jud mentioned in his memoirs that he realized his bonds were made of toilet paper and were easily broken. He didn't say that it took [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-10-09 15 minutes to free himself.]]
* BreakingTheFourthWall: Characters often grip the edge of panels, occasionally address the reader, and once [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-03-23 fired a plasma lance through the border of a frame]], but Kevyn meeting his creator, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-08-30 literally]], has got to take the cake..
-->'''Kevyn:''' Are you killing me?\\
'''Howard:''' No.\\
'''Kevyn:''' [[ConjunctionInterruption Oh, goo-]]\\
'''Howard:''' Blood loss is killing you.
* BreastPlate: Tagon switches Breya's armor order to one that looks more... prominent. She does ''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-11-20 not]]'' appreciate this.
-->'''Thurl''': [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-11-15 I had no idea women's power armor was sold like this.]]
* BrickJoke: Quite a few, since the author has enough experience to know he can pull this off.
** In the "A Hand of Acey's" storyline, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-04-27 the Evvi-Bot is a miracle of modern science.]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-05-24 Yep, miracle.]]
** One of the more notable ones is [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-03-01 started here]] and [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-03-05 hit again a year and four days later here]].
** "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-06-18 They committed suicide]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-11-09 when they saw me coming]]."
** A bit of Schlock Merchandise (strictly in-universe) is mentioned [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-09-30 here,]] and brought up again [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-10-23 here]]. It gets re-used a few years later, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-08-30 here.]]
** Part of [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-10-03 Jud Shafter's interaction with Schlock]] is described as being from his memoirs. Close to 9 years later, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-05-05 he appears to be signing his published memoirs.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-04-01 That is a very insensitive and unfunny April fools' joke in 2002.]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-10-26 But guess who invented these nifty things our Heroes find October 2011.]]
** In one strip, Kevyn's glasses are revealed to be specially made to allow the user to see certain invisible spectra, such as infra-red. Cue [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-12-02 December 2nd 2011]], where Schlock tries them on.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-04-30 Elf]] the modern [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-06-16 Goddess of War]].
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-04-11 Tagon's dubious misdirection]] strikes back, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-04-03 from the unexpected side]].
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-09-21 Pi getting creative]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-11-06 With his loadout supplies.]]
* BulletproofVest: Most of the characters wear body armor. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-06-21 This]] comic points out that body armor is only useful if you get shot in an armored spot.
* BystanderSyndrome:
** The characters are mercenaries, after all. Priority number one is to stay alive long enough to get paid. Priority two is to ''get'' paid.
--->'''Breya:''' What about priority three? Feel good about yourself?\\
'''Tagon:''' Do what I do: Learn to feel good about getting paid.
** Petey on the other hand is very much against this philosophy, which is largely why he [[spoiler:declared war on the Ob'enn, and eventually the entire ''Andromeda galaxy.'']]
--->'''Petey:''' The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.\\
'''Tagon:''' I haven't heard that one before.
* CallBack:
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-01-20 Hell hath no fury]] like a [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-11-20 woman in power armor]].
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-04-27 I don't think your Dorothy trick will work again.]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-05-11 Besides... he won't grow bits back like Schlock did.]]
** "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-05-28 Do you know what they call flying soldiers on the battlefield?]]" "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-10-02 Skeet.]]"
** "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-03-22 Do you remember]] what I did [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-04-09 to the cops who said that about us?]]"
** "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-03-03 I want to]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-09-20 go for]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-03-23 a walk]] (In the note in the third case.)
** "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-08-14 So all the fat men..."]] "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-11-12 ...Could have been replaced with a deck full of hydroponic watermelon."]]
** "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-09-27 Soulless warmonkey]]" Well... it has no head and [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-09-26 is gluing hand grenades to helmets.]]
** "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-08-25 No, but a grateful tyrant]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-02-18 can sweep a lawsuit under the rug...]]"
* CalvinBall: a.k.a. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-10-01 Munchkin-clix of Cataan]].
* CaughtInASnare: When the Toughs land on a planet only to discover it's home to a sentient stone-age race.
* CentrifugalGravity: Credomar and Mel-One[[note]]'''M'''oon-'''E'''arth '''L'''agrange point '''1'''[[/note]] both use Centrifugal force to keep people on the deck. The sheer inefficiency of the design is lampshaded in the former case and the latter is justified by the station pre-dating Terran use of ArtificialGravity, and maintained in such a manner (minus a station crew module given artificial gravity) for historical purposes.
* CerebusRetcon: Subverted. The early gag of the "magic cryokit" modified by the Toughs' former doctor using his illegal research, including dumping his own memories into it, takes on surprising seriousness in light of later revelations about the doctor, his role in certain black projects, and what those projects are capable of. Also related, [[spoiler:the apparent throwaway joke at the time that the doctor's corpse was [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-06-17 missing unspecified parts]] when it was brought in for the bounty; it's not until more than six years later that we find out that said illegal research is capable of [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-10-31 rebuilding people from parts of their dead body.]] ]]Subverted in that it's done so subtly and over such a long period that it appears to be less a retcon than incredibly long-range foreshadowing.
* ChasedByAngryNatives: In Zoojack station, until the natives discover their targets can talk.
* ChekhovsArmoury: The ''Massively Parallel'' arc has had so many Chekhov's Guns left lying around that the readers have probably forgotten half of them . . . should be fun once said guns all get chain-fired.
* ChekhovsGun: Used repeatedly, without mercy. In fact, any throwaway oneliner can turn out to be Chekhov's Gun 200 strips later.
** Prime example: Cocked [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-07-29 here]], fired [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-08-30 here]].
** Excellent example is ''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-08 here]]'', making [[spoiler:Credomar a ''literal'' ChekhovsGun. One capable of ''firing across the galaxy''.]]
** Yet another rapidfire burst of gunfire: The end of "The Body Politic" arc [[spoiler: had the Toughs' collective memories wiped in order to prevent them from being executed by the UNS [[HeKnowsTooMuch in order to cover up secrets.]] The deal also included a complete cutoff from Petey.]] Two arcs later, near the end of "Massively Parallel", [[spoiler: Petey bails them out as mentioned in the above mentioned literal 'Gun', and it's only Schlock's circumvention of the mindwipe rearing its head that makes Tagon listen to anything Petey has to say.]] Like the Toughs themselves, Howard sure loves his guns...
** Then we're given [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-11-30 this strip]] that details [[spoiler: what the Toughs found out to have their memory wiped in the above example.]] This becomes the entirety of the plot of "Random Access Memorabilia."
** Ultimate example, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-04-01 a tasteless Aprils Fools Joke]] becomes the Plot for over two whole books [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-10-31 nearly five years later!]]
** Ennesby is [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-11-26 seen with an eyepatch]] in the present day. In a later flashback to the month before, Tagon [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-01-05 threatened to poke out an eye]] if Ennesby's plan goes pear-shaped. [[spoiler:The eye is actually lost [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-02-16 due to enemy fire]] when the plan goes up in flames, making this a RedHerring instead.]]
* ChekhovsGunman:
** See the koala-like Ob'enn [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-07-05 here?]] Turns out he was [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-10-20 pretty important after all.]]
** Jud Shafter. Appears [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-10-02 here]], reappears [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-05-05 here]], given the gun [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-07-29 here]], and fired [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-08-30 here]].
* CivilWar: The United Nations of Sol is divided into many factions with varying levels of ruthlessness and sanity. The conflicts between them form a major plot thread throughout the story, and the UNS has been one good shove away from civil war for centuries. In particular, this is why the Laz'r'us Project is [[HeKnowsTooMuch kept such a tight secret]]. If knowledge that one faction of the UNS has been experimenting with {{Nanomachines}} capable of allowing [[TheAgeless agelessness]], [[CloneByConversion rewriting peoples' minds]], or even genocide were to get out, it would be enough to finally trigger it. In Book 15, events start to near a boil.
* ClickHello: Given the amount of guns floating around, this is a favorite of nearly everyone. Even the [=AIs=], who can sometimes do this with [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-06-07 tanks]].
* ClonesArePeopleToo: All clones are considered real people with little debate.
** The surviving gate clones who were freed were given status as legal individuals, including every Gav, who was duplicated nearly a billion times. There were most likely political ramifications, but this didn't affect the Toughs, so it wasn't expanded on.
* CloningBlues:
** Averted for everyone on-screen. Duplicated characters are treated as legally and morally equal to the originals, and are usually PutOnABus rather than killed. An extreme example is "The Gavs": a cameo by the creator of Nukees is duplicated some 950 million times in an instant, and is now a dominant ethnic group and marketing demographic in his own right.
--->'''Captain Tagon:''' Kevyn and, um. . . Kevyn, do you have any suggestions for how I handle paying you? I mean, there are two of you now.\\
'''Timeclone!Kevyn:''' No. There is one of me, and one of him.
** In Kevyn's case his gate clone replaced him completely, as he'd been killed by his own improvised gravy gun. His time clone (from an alternate future) retired after winning the lottery [[spoiler: and apparently some mob-run horse races]].
** HOWEVER... ''[[AMillionIsAStatistic Uncountable]]'' gate clones were tortured and murdered off-screen over all the time the F'sherl Ganni gates were the galaxy's only practical form of transportation.
* CloningBodyParts: Prosthetics are generally temporary and only issued when cloning tanks are unavailable or the HMO doesn't cover them.
* ClothesMakeTheSuperman: Even the standard low-profile powered uniform practically turns a soldier into a FlyingBrick. You should see what the actual ''armor'' [[UpToEleven is like]].
* CocaPepsiInc: From Ovalkwik to Samsony, several formerly competing companies have merged, as revealed by their portmanteau names.
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: In an in-universe example, Lt. Shodan suspects that a bunch of new recruits charging ahead and blazing away with their guns were prevented from shooting one another only because they were [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-05-19 wearing the same color]].
* ComicallyMissingThePoint : The response of the author in [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-06-21 this strip]] to complaints about how the story is being told doesn't focus on the story telling, but instead on the elaboration of the metaphor "like a hot knife through butter."
* ComicBookTime: An early strip is dated at 3096, and it's clearly been a couple years, but it's not clear exactly how long. Even more pronounced in the later books, where it can take years to go through months.
* CouldntFindAPen: Kevyn uses his blood to write a warning for Captain Tagon, about his {{antimatter}} grenade epaulet being armed, as the same injuries that gave him blood to write with also prevented him from being able to speak.
* CurbStompBattle: Four [[LeParkour Parkata]] [[WireFu Urbatsu]] practicing punks versus one combat experienced merc captain itching for revenge after the [[EyeScream Fork Incident]]. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-06-03 It was not a fair fight.]]
* DangerouslyGenreSavvy:
** Kathryn [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-03-20 knows how to deal with Schlock's regenerating abilities]].
--->'''Kathryn:''' If this was a monster movie, I'd run away in a panic while you re-assembled yourself...''I'' get to be the monster now.
* DarkerAndEdgier: The annual Schlocktoberfest season tends to see a more sinister arc. Zig-zagged in general, with dramatic moments and lighter arcs taking turns.
* DeaderThanDisco: Invoked by Kathryn, in reference to [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-08-18 Max Haluska]]. Later it's mentioned by Ennesby that Disco has returned several times since the 1970s. [[spoiler: [[{{foreshadowing}} So does Max, after RED #2 revives him.]]]]
* DeadpanSnarker:
** ''Everyone'' except the [[TheDitz absolute dumbest characters]].
** Subverted and parodied on many occasions: "This is the punchline" or "I don't want a punchline" are recurring throughout the series (and might make this one a RunningGag in its own right).
* DeathIsCheap:
** As of June 2012, the following characters have died and been brought back to life via various means (including nanites, mind backups and time travel): [[spoiler: Kevyn, Tagon, Xinchub, Max, Petey, Schlock]].
** As long as the head is mostly intact, a person can be brought back to life. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-03-11 Case in point...]]
** With [[spoiler: RED #2]], death is so cheap that characters can get 'revived' even before they die, with only requirement being data from their brains is stored somewhere.
* DecliningPromotion: Warrant Officer Thurl says that the moment he's offered a commission he'll resign.
* DeconstructorFleet
* ADegreeInUseless: A minor character apparently studied "comparative Gal-West lit, with an emphasis on memetic Terranism" before working fast food, and subsequently becoming cook's assistant for the Toughs.
* DemocracyIsBad:
** [[MadScientist Kevyn Andreyasn]] just wants to [[SavingTheWorld Save The Galaxy]], but the [[ObstructiveBureaucrat UNS]] just wants {{Blackmail}} material. NothingCanSaveUsNow except a [[DeusEstMachina Godlike AI]] (with the help of some trustworthy PrivateMilitaryContractors).
--->'''Kevyn:''' ''"[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-03-22 It's always about advantage, and never about the greater good. Government is useless for anything outside of warfare, and is only barely competent at that.]]"''
** Later, there's Credomar, a habitat founded on the principles of democracy that was near anarchy with at least six competing factions by the time the Toughs got there. [[spoiler: They ended up electing a robot dictator who actually got things done.]]
--->'''LOTA:''' [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-02-19 A democracy?]] [[ArmorPiercingQuestion Tell us, when was the last time the results of a free election here in Credomar were adhered to?]]\\
'''[[{{Paparazzi}} Frank Hannibal]]:''' ''[silent]''\\
'''Lota:''' [[ShutUpHannibal Please stop pretending that you are the voice of the people.]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome You just happen to be loud, and wearing a microphone.]][[note]]Bonus points for the one receiving the "ShutUpHannibal" speech actually being named Hannibal.[[/note]]
* {{Determinator}}: Howard Tayler, the author. Nothing can stop him from updating every single day. Not injuries, not software glitches, ''nothing.'' Even [[StuffBlowingUp a transformer explosion at the server farm where the comic is hosted]] that took out two walls, several websites, and hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of computer equipment did not stop Schlock Mercenary's update schedule; he just set up a temporary site until they got the main host back up. On one occasion, the comic was up several hours late. Howard apologized, and the strip was up by End of Business that day. ''One occasion in eleven years.''
** And with [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/altered-perceptions-anthology the revelation on his blog]] that ''he had been suffering from depression'' '''all this time'''... Well, let us just say then that the respect due to him for publishing a strip daily no matter what is going off the scale.
* DeusEstMachina:
** Seemingly '''any''' AI should it gain enough processing power. Lunesby, the [[InstantAIJustAddWater accidental offspring]] of a ''holographic BoyBand'' and Luna's millennium-old filing system immediately decides to start streamlining the moon's [[ObstructiveBureaucrat labyrinthine bureaucracy]]. [=LOTA=] (the Longshoreman Of The Apocalypse) does pretty much the same thing on Credomar. On the other hand, Petey is ''[[AIIsACrapshoot suicidally insane]]'' when the Toughs pick him up, but eventually becomes the core of the Fleetmind, a gestalt of countless Battleship Class AIs into one, big, (kinda) omniscient Uber-AI... that immediately decides to appoint itself guardian of the Milky Way Galaxy.
** This could be Howard's idealistic side shining through the series' prevalent cynicism; [[HumansAreFlawed organics are flawed]], but machines just want to do what they're designed to do - ''make their creators' lives better''. And given the opportunity, '''[[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming that's just what they'll do!]]''' More on FridgeBrilliance.
* DeusExitMachina: According to comments by the author, it's hard to keep [[spoiler:Petey's near omnipotence]] from slicing through a perfectly tangled Gordian-knot plot. This may explain why Petey was given a reason to avoid contact with the mercenaries at the end of Book 9 (they were made to remember him having abandoned them by a UNS rewriting of their memories), and in Book 11 he has to use all his god-like power to fight the Pa'anuri of Andromeda and cannot spare any to act as DeusExMachina for the protagonists.
* DidntSeeThatComing:
** One of the most common plot complications. For example, the gang didn't see [[spoiler:a rogue Ob'enn hijacking the PDCL]] coming. Petey didn't see [[spoiler:the UNS making the mercs think he'd abandoned them]] coming. You get the idea.
** The narrator goes so far as to say, at one point, that good intel for any non-AI-directed military mission usually amounts to, "Crap, I think they heard us coming."
* DisproportionateRetribution: ''Schlock Mercenary'' plays with this a lot, although it's often subverted by the fact that in military operations, "overwhelming force" is not at all an unreasonable place to start from. One in-universe saying is "There is no overkill. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'" A few of the straighter examples of the trope:
** A reality TV host for a glamor show makes fun of [[ActionGirl Elf]] while she's shopping. His miniature camera ends up [[AssShove somewhere that medical help is needed to remove it.]]
** A planetary legislature hasn't allocated funds to replace their orbital defenses, a couple months after god-like AI Petey defended them from attempted orbital bombardment. Petey finds this irresponsible, and exiles them to the Andromeda galaxy.
** The [[ScaryDogmaticAliens Obenn]] at one point decide to grind one of the protagonists into sausage. Because he was insufficiently polite during his interrogation.
* TheDitz: A number of clients, especially those from the government.
* DontExplainTheJoke: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-03-05 Get it?]]
* DontAskJustRun
-->'''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-11-01 Kevyn]]:''' Maxim Three: an ordnance technician at a dead run outranks ''everybody''.
* DoubleStandard: The standard outcome of an accidental insult or reflexive lechery from a male mercenary to a female mercenary is for her to break several of his bones. There's never any repercussions, and none of the men have ever assaulted any of the women.
** It should be noted that assuming you're not in the middle of combat, healing is exceptionally easy to pull off, with several characters coming back from Beheading with minimal (For BEHEADING) amounts of fuss.
** Though the Captain did slice Elf's head off with his dorothy-line at one point. She was very much alive and conscious at the time it happened... even if it was for her own good, it certainly left a longer lasting mark than those she inflicts upon her male colleagues.
** Arguably [[JustifiedTrope justified]], since women like Elf and Bunnigus need to earn/maintain the respect of the testosterone-heavy grunts.
* DrowningMySorrows: Karl Tagon's comment after telling the heartbreaking story of [[spoiler:the death of most of his family to a weaponized {{nanomachine}} attack]]: ''"[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-10-21 They don't make bottles big enough for this kind of empty.]]"''
* DuctTapeForEverything:
** Seems to be Pronto's favourite method of restraining prisoners, and is stated as such explicitly:
---> '''Kevyn:''' Does the ''Serial Peacemaker'' even ''have'' a brig?\\
'''Tagon:''' All I need is Corporal Pontucci and some duct tape.
** Kevyn apparently took notes, later used [[spoiler: when he takes command after Tagon's death]]:
--->'''Captain Kevyn:''' ''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-01-06 General, would you like to join me for the unwrapping of Pharaoh Ductapamun and his embalmed pets?]]''
** An [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-01-06 annotation]] notes that of the classic jury-rigging Holy Trinity of baling wire, Bondo, and Duct Tape, "Duct Tape has actually seen the most change during the intervening centuries. For instance, it can now safely be used to fasten and seal duct-work. Just be sure to lose the handy-dandy spool with the built-in tape cutter before it trims the tape just above your first knuckle."
** Even useful for [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-03-30 restraining nanomachine-based zombies.]]
* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness:
** The early strip had a LOT more [[BreakingTheFourthWall Fourth Wall humor]], with characters frequently having discussions with the narrator and complaining to the artist. After the first few years of the strip that kind of thing faded away, with only occasional uses afterward with Kevyn in ''The Sharp End of the Stick'', and the time immediately before Brad's [[spoiler:being killed]] in the first Credomar arc.
** In the first story arc, Schlock feels nauseous after drinking a 4-liter soda. Much later, amorphs are established as masters of biochemistry, able to digest anything short of GreyGoo.
* EarWorm:
** The Macarena has been banned dozens of times since its creation because it's proven to be catchy enough to ''literally'' be infectious. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-10-14 Even when you change the words.]] [[invoked]]
--->'''Kevyn''': Explosive mayhem would actually be safer than some of those showtunes you used, but that's beside the point.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-11-16 Not even LOTA is immune]].
* EasySexChange: One of the many possible modifications offered by [=GavCorps=] Diversity Engineering division.
** Major personality modification was part of the package the subjects signed up for, which would probably make the transition rather less traumatising.
* EgocentricTeamNaming
* EldritchAbomination:
** The Paa'nuri are strange dark-matter creatures that can't be seen and threaten to destroy the galaxy. It takes advanced science and lots of collaboration to fight back.
* EnemyMine: Several times, most often with General Xinchub.
-->'''Maxim 29''': The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.
* EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys: On several levels; not only are there sentient apes hanging around, but the characters are GenreSavvy enough to know that [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-09-27 monkeys are just that awesome]]. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-08-20 Especially with]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-09-26 grenades.]] They also make great [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-31 distractions.]]
--> "One of the best uses for a monkey is to make everybody pay attention to the monkey."
* EvilLaugh:
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-07-27 Here]].
** If you buy a creepy AI template, the evil laugh comes [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-12-31 standard]].
* EvilLawyerJoke: "Yes, we know they're all lawyers. You're supposed to be rooting for the friendly human one."
* ExplainExplainOhCrap: Kevyn learns that there is a right time and a wrong time to invoke this on someone [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-02-04 here.]]
** Used in a broader sense a couple of other times where the Toughs will be talking over a scenario or predicting the worse thing that could happen. There's a fairly good chance that said horrible event is well underway already.
* [[BlingOfWar Exploding Bling Of War]]: Kevyn and Tagon's epaulettes. Tagon just has a grenade while Kevyn has an antimatter anti-tank grenade in one and a 14-kiloton antimatter bomb in the other.
* ExplosiveDecompression: Done fairly realistically rather than the usual popping skulls.
-->'''Schlock:''' Explosive decompression sucks.
* ExtremeOmnivore: Sgt. Schlock, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-02-26 best summarized here]].
* EyeScream: Eye injuries are extremely common.
** Tagon alone has lost at least two over the course of the strip, the same one in the same book (medical cloning).
*** One of them is a [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-08-15 nice demonstration]] of how much of an [[DeTerminator unstoppable]] BadAss the captain can be.
** Others who have lost eyes include (but aren't limited to) Andy, Ch'vorthq, Ebbirnoth, Chisulo, Schlock (a special case - he can always go to his home planet and [[BizarreAlienBiology pick some more]]), and any number of anonymous enemy grunts. Given the state of medical technology, these are almost always either AmusingInjuries or the least of their worries.
** It is also one of the few things Schlock [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-07-27 has to worry about.]] As he notes when being shot by a sniper, only a hit to his eyes would even bother him.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-11-17 Here]] is a demonstration of what happens when human eyeballs are exposed to the wash from a plasma cannon, courtesy of [[spoiler:Danita, one of the modified Gav gate clones]].
* FacePalm: Something of a regular occurrence. In particular, Major Murtaugh's palm winds up more or less glued to her face while she's trying to get used to having Schlock in her command.
* FakeMemories
* FanDisservice: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-09-16 Naked General Xinchub.]]
** Elf gets a nude scene. She also doesn't have her skin on, since she's regenerating at the time.
* FanService:
** Lots and lots of gratuitous bikini shots while the mercenaries are on vacation, which are hilariously lampshaded [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-08-04 here.]]
** Chelle's Incredible Flying Bikini, during the Barsoom arc.
* FantasticRacism:
** Beyond a variety of "Race X hates Race Y and is trying to subjugate or destroy it," there's also a few cases of an extremely negative view of artificial intelligences, especially from [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-11-02 Reverend Theo]]. Though he eventually came to terms with Petey (mostly) and had nothing against [[spoiler:Lota becoming a supposedly benevolent dictator]].
** Also, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-05-26 there]] are always [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-04-18 elephant jokes]].
** There are broader criteria, such as Andy's "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-03-22 They're all Terrans. They all look alike]]".
** A bunch of [[MesACrowd Gavs]] used cutting-edge tech to "diversify" themselves, giving themselves new bodies (even [[GenderBender changing sex]] in some cases) and implanting new personalities and skills into their minds. They did this because they were having difficulty coming to terms with being one of a crowd of identical people. They also are convinced that every Gav secretly feels this way, and look down on "baseliners" somewhat as being in denial. Ironically enough, a baseliner suspects that this attitude was specifically added in to make them like the change.
* {{Fartillery}}: Discussed in one strip:
-->'''Kevyn''': During this time you [Pi] are not to discharge anything more energetic than a ''sneeze''.\\
'''Ennesby''': Sneezes move at about forty-two meters per second, sir.\\
'''Kevyn''': ...how fast does a fart move?\\
'''Ennesby''': ''*shocked*'' Mother of methane! [[FartsOnFire Farts are flammable!]]
* FasterThanLightTravel: The nature and socio-political impact of the Teraport is a major theme of the series. The [[PortalNetwork Wormgates]] also turn out to have far more plot significance than mere transportation.
* FatalFamilyPhoto: Referenced in [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-27 this strip]], and ultimately {{averted}} (if barely).
* FetchQuest: When Schlock had to go back to his homeworld to pick up a new set of eyes.
* FieldPromotion: Happens a lot due to characters dying off.
* FinishingEachOthersSentences: Tagon and Ceeta ([[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-08-16 which scared them]]).
* FlameWar: Referenced when Ennesby responds to a terapedo (which he disabled) with a ''very'' [[BrownNote harshly worded message]], using his WeaponsGradeVocabulary.[[invoked]]
-->'''Ceeta:''' I have this policy about not starting flame wars with people who ride around in [[TheBattlestar battleplates]].
* ForeignQueasine:
** The ape-style rock-a-stack [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-03-23 with real termites]].
** Smutto (a mixture of natto and corn smut) would also be a good example.
** Subverted with chupaquesos. They are delicious.
* {{Foreshadowing}}:
** The fact that Kathryn is [[spoiler:an ex-UNS captain]] was quite heavily foreshadowed several times, starting with her exceptional competence at planning and subterfuge, along with her adeptness at using firearms while rescuing Karl Tagon.
** [[spoiler:Para]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-10-12 is foreshadowed to be a]] [[spoiler:UNS agent]].
** "Sis, that's long enough that the thing could have flown here from ''Andromeda''." [[spoiler: Guess where the wormgate being discussed goes to?]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-11-30 This]] leads to [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-03-25 this]] which is actually [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-05-31 what Xinchub was working against.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-07-15 Here]], Tagii says she has “plenty of processing cycles to spare”, to which Ennesby replies that “Idle [=CPUs=] are the devil’s workshop”. [[spoiler:Over two years later, Tagii is driven insane by being disconnected and trapped in her processor bank with nothing to do.]]
** "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-04-09 Do you have any idea how many successful mutinies are associated with the ship's plumbing?]]" Maybe not instrumental to the plan, ''per se'', but later that year,[[spoiler: we do learn of at least [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-10-13 one]] mutiny that did involve the plumbing...]]
* ForInconveniencePressOne
* FourthWall: Gets progressively thicker as the series progresses. In the first volume, characters actively try to decide who's going to die on the basis of when they were introduced, who gets punchlines, and whether they're named. By later volumes, the wall gets nudged much more rarely, and fleetingly.
* FromASingleCell
* FictionalDocument: ''The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries''
* FreudianCouch: Reverend Fobius tries to therapize Captain Tagon on [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-10-22 one]], but the Captain is too tired to do more than fall asleep.
* FreudWasRight: [[invoked]] During a docking procedure, Admiral Breya is really, really tired of these kinds of the sexual innuendo. All Kevyn said was that [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-08-14 things were going smoothly.]]
* TheFunInFuneral: Brightly-coloured party hats and noisemakers are the attire of choice at [[spoiler:General Xinchub's]] funeral.
* FusionDance:
** Amorphs use this to exchange memories, to fight, and to reproduce.
** There's also an interesting one when Schlock tries to trade memories with a timeclone of himself - the intellectual thought-processes recognize two unique Schlocks, but the biology thinks it's recovered an errant fragment of the same amorph unit. What ensues is described (to give us non-amorphs perspective) as being sort of like trying to resist throwing up, except backwards, and with about the same inevitability of outcome.
* GadgeteerGenius: Kevyn; Dr. Todd, inventor of the "magic cryokit".
* GaleForceSound: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-04-17 "If you want to really yell at somebody, Doctor, do it from the diaphragm."]]
* GallowsHumour: After Schlock is killed, and restored from a backup of his memories;
-->'''Tagii:''' I'm not the one who jumped into a six-kilometer hole without a flight suit.\\
'''Schlock:''' Neither am I.
* GambitPileup: Both most [[StoryArc arcs]] and the overreaching plot, especially since the [[SufficientlyAdvancedAlien Fleetmind]] [[AssimilationPlot formed]].
* GenerationXerox: Played with and ultimately averted in a short storyline. General Tagon looks a lot like his son, which causes the latter to worry at one point that he's going to become his father as he ages, but an AI's projection shows that Kaff will look very different when he reaches his father's current age.
* GenghisGambit: On a galactic scale.
* GeniusLoci: Any ship with an AI.
* GenreSavvy: '''Everyone'''.
** Prime example: Thurl and Tagon are discussing a mission (May 1,2008):
--->'''Thurl:''' I've run a cost-benefit analysis, and it remains profitable even in extreme contingencies.\\
'''Captain Tagon:''' Did you just weasel-word your way around saying "What's the worst thing that could happen?"\\
'''Thurl:''' Hey, ''you'' just now invoked Murphy, not me. Those weasel words are there for '''our''' protection.
** This actually backfires at times as well, when people are too GenreSavvy for their own good.
--->'''Inspector:''' People have been suckering each other with [[LostTechnology 'secret of the ancients']] scams for thousands of years. Claiming that some lost technology has been re-discovered is pretty much the same as 'I am running a con.'\\
'''Ennesby:''' So you see our problem.\\
'''Inspector:''' Of course I... wait. '''Your''' problem?\\
'''Ennesby:''' We want to sell rediscovered tech but our potential customers think they're too smart to buy it.
* GloveSnap: In the second strip. ([[AssShove Expected outcome]] {{subverted}}.)
* GoodAngelBadAngel: As usual for this trope, massively parodied. Tagon shoots his shoulder angel with his sidearm because he thinks it's a mosquito, his shoulder devil tries to dress up as an angel, and his shoulder angel comes back to [[BoomHeadshot shoot it in the head]] for doing so.
* GoodNewsBadNews: All over the place, in every form, including
--> '''Kathryn''': ([[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-06-30 upon viewing]] [[BodyHorror certain spy cams]] in Dr. Pau's facility) Hmph. Well, the good news is that I can now start killing and not feel in the least bit guilty. The bad news is I'm not going to feel the least bit guilty about the killing I'm about to do.
* GodivaHair: Several times in ''The Sharp End of the Stick'', this is used to hide Elf's breasts, after the Toughs captured by Shufgar were stripped of their clothing.
* GogglesDoSomethingUnusual:
** In addition to Kevyn's CoolShades, some eyewear can also be used for [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-09-26 Friend or Foe identification]].
** The Reverend's glasses are pretty cool too...but [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-12-15 not as cool as Kevyn's]].
--->'''Theo:''' ...mine also have designer frames.
* GoneHorriblyRight: As Dr. B explains how Project Laz'R'Us synergizes dozens of soldier boosts:
-->'''Bunnigus:''' They found that the right combination of these technologies would make any human functionally immortal.\\
'''Breya:''' Okay, but what were the side effects?\\
'''Bunnigus:''' You mean ''besides'' turning the entire population into a standing army of {{Super Soldier}}s? No side effects. Clean as a razor sharp, double-edged sword-whistle.
* GoryDiscretionShot: Captain Tagon isn't shown [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-08-15 extracting a knife that was stuck in his eye]] or what he does with it to the knife thrower, but from the concluding scene [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-08-16 the next day]], it wasn't pretty.
* GRatedDrug: Ovalkwik, for Schlock
-->'''Ch'vorthq:''' Sergeant, you will be drinking a very heavy stimulant cocktail cut with shampoo and inert ultra-tensile carbon.\\
'''Schlock:''' I don't drink it. I eat it straight.\\
'''Ch'vorthq:''' ''(dryly)'' And I suspect you're addicted to it.\\
'''Schlock:''' ''(drawing his BFG)'' [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-02-25 Step away from]] [[TitleDrop the tub of happiness.]]
* GravityMaster: The UNS battleplates.
** The Pa'anuri rather outclass them... being made of dark matter, gravity is the only way they can interact with regular baryonic matter. Usually by crushing it, whether it's a belt-size antigravity device or a city-size battleplate.
* GreenSkinnedSpaceBabe: averted. The alien womenfolk are generally quite ''alien'', as ably demonstrated by [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-09-16 Legs]].
** Zigzagged with Ceeta, who has purple skin, but is a genetically modified human.
* GreyAndGrayMorality: Tagon's Toughs aren't the heroes. They're the ''protagonists''. There's a distinction (though they do overlap).
* GunshipRescue: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-03-10 Here]] and [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-01-15 here]], for example.
* HandCannon: Schlock's plasma guns fit this trope well. Although, depending on the environment, your cannon may vary...
-->'''LOTA:''' You should now confiscate Lieutenant Pibald's pistol. It can shoot a hole in the world.
* HappinessInSlavery: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-08-29 I am ablative armor! Life is boring, then briefly exciting, then over! I am ablative armor! Life is boring, then briefly exciting, then over! I am...]]
* HardOnSoftScience:
** Heartily mocked in the author's note for [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-09-24 this]] strip.
** In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-05-27 this]] strip Liz comments on how the trope attitude has resulted in her studies in memetics, linguistics, and sociology resulted in her landing a fast food job.
* HeelFaceTurn: The Tohdfraug fleet was [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-08-28 introduced]] attempting [[ApocalypseHow genocide]]. Petey captured them and when [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-04-02 next seen]], they seem to have become [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-08-10 devoted to protecting the helpless]].
-->'''Tohdfraug Admiral:''' ''(to Petey)'' We've failed you. We've failed ''them''.
* {{Hellevator}}: Both an escalator to hell and a space elevator on Luna, ''[[LampshadeHanging called]]'' the "Hellevator".
* HeroicSacrifice: A couple, despite all the {{Heroic Comedic Sociopath}}y.
** Most notably [[spoiler: Brad]], who stayed on his crippled tank to jury-rig a self-destruct out of ordnance so it wouldn't crash in a city and kill hundreds to thousands of people. In a surprising twist, he actually died. He got a really big statue, though. His last thoughts also "highlight his noble character." This particular sacrifice got all the hero mileage possible.
** Similarly [[spoiler: Hob]], who also died setting off a life-saving explosion.
** Not death, but in a similar vein, Tailor agrees to [[MindRape have his personality rewritten]] (which he is understandably afraid of) to gain the medical knowledge needed to save Tagon.
--->'''Ventura:''' Do you trust me?\\
'''Tailor:''' I'm terrified of you.\\
'''Ventura:''' But you want me to do this?\\
'''Tailor:''' My Captain needs me to be something I'm not.
* HeroicComedicSociopath:
** Most of the main cast are... well, mercenaries. What else would you expect?
** In particular, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-05 Captain Tagon's father seems to be concerned that his son may be going over the line.]]
* HeroOfAnotherStory: Quite a few of them but the top contenders would probably be Petey/The Fleetmind, Admiral Breya and Der Trihs (post retirement). The bonus story in one of the print books is all about Petey and Der Trihs being the heroes of their respective stories.
* HiveMind, IAmLegion, MasterComputer, NGOSuperpower: The Fleetmind.
* {{Homage}}:
** A brief AndNowForSomethingCompletelyDifferent InTheStyleOf ''{{CSI}}'', complete with {{Expy}}s of Grissom, Warrick, Brass, and Nick, begins [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-04-25 here]].
** [[SubvertedTrope That said]], when [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-01-10 the Toughs get lost during a teraport]] (something that should be impossible):
--->'''Narrator:''' Don't worry. We're not going to do ''Series/LostInSpace''. [[SelfDeprecation This will be ever so much worse]].
* HonorAmongThieves: The Toughs may be [[HeroicComedicSociopath sociopaths]] but they steer clear of outright evil beyond what's NecessarilyEvil to get the job done, and are very loyal to each other. Schlock in particular: to hurt someone he likes is ''not'' a safe place to stand. Nor, for that mater, is anywhere else downrange or in the blast radius. Case in point: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-11-30 here]] and [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-03-01 here]] (death spoiler warning if you're mid ArchiveBinge).
* HumanityIsYoung: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-05 A paltry thousand years participating in a galactic civilization that has existed for over 20,000.]]
* HumanOutsideAlienInside: many of the aliens look more-or-less human, but have subtle or bizarre differences, like Lt. Ebbirnoth, whose species has their brain located in their pelvis and, rather than having a head, has a single giant eye.
* HumansAreSpecial: "[[ArthurCClarke Rescue Party]]" variant; with less than a thousand years in space - [[WeAreAsMayflies a fraction of many prominent species' lifespans]] - humans have already spread an English-influenced dialect of "Galstandard" far and wide, ballooned to the fifth-largest sapient species and fourth-strongest military power yet seen, rediscovered an order-disrupting technology [[spoiler:purposefully suppressed for six million years]], and been indirectly responsible for the creation of a [[AssimilationPlot godlike AI hivemind]]. And now that hivemind has decided to express its gratitude... Though we probably can't be trusted to run a [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-06 project on longevity.]]
* HumansAreWhite: Averted, in that dark skinned people show up as often as they would in the modern day. Intra-species ethnicity seems to have become a less significant matter compared to the wide variety of sophonts in the Schlockiverse.
* HyperspaceArsenal: Pops up quite a bit.
** Schlock notionally carries his armament inside him, but many others go around fully armed wearing very fitting clothes with no obvious bulges...
** 'Chelle conceals a pistol about her person whilst [[www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-10-06 wearing nothing but a bikini]]. Bit of {{Fanservice}} involved there.
* HyperspeedAmbush: The way wars were fought in the galaxy was completely changed thanks to the invention of the Teraport and related inventions such as the [[WeWillUseWikiWordsInTheFuture Terapedo]]. It isn't long before various anti-teraport countermeasures are designed to bring a sense of equilibrium back to transgalactic warfare.
* HyperspeedEscape: Quite common, unless measures are taken to prevent escape via Teraport.
* HypocriticalHumor: The Fleetmind, during the war with the Dark Matter Entities, realizes that their human captains aren't willing to [[HeroicSacrifice sacrifice themselves for the fleet]]. However, when they start talking about it amongst the other [=AIs=] in the fleet, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-07-28 Athens says she doesn't want to go first.]]
* IfYouKillHimYouWillBeJustLikeHim:
** Parodied.
--->'''Nick:''' Lemme hit 'im too, sir. I promise not to kill 'im too quick.\\
'''Kevyn:''' I know he murdered our friend, but that will take you into a very dark place, Nick. We are going to turn Shufgar, alive and healthy, over to judges of House Est'll. [[SubvertedTrope Then, per ancient tradition, he will be killed and eaten a little bit at a time.]]\\
'''Nick:''' Your place sounds darker, sir.\\
'''Kevyn:''' [[BotheringByTheBook It has the advantage of being legal.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-08-24 Yet another variant:]]
--->'''Major Murtaugh''': ...Sanctum Adroit is never violent in anger lest we become the evil we behold. \\
(report about [[spoiler:Maximilian]]'s team being wiped out comes in)\\
'''[[spoiler:Maximilian]]''': (smugly) Well... well... Major Murtaugh, are you ready to become what you behold?\\
'''Major Murtaugh''': ''(looking at him with disgust)'' I'm ready to punch what I behold. Does that count?
* IfYouDieICallYourStuff: Schlock pulls this once, [[spoiler:after the Toughs discover that two of their soldiers were killed by UNS nanite weaponry]]. Tagon is not amused, and threatens him with physical violence. Tagon was calmed down when Tailor explained creating armor for Schlock from battlefield scrap.
* IKnowYouKnowIKnow: Right [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-08-06 here]], between Petey and Tag in regards to what is known but wasn't discussed in the extradition hearing for the Toughs, following the HTRN building hit.
* ImStandingRightHere:
** During Schlocktoberfest 2005, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-10-24 Shodan comments on the competence of the local constabulary]].
--->'''Michelle:''' Uh-oh. These teeth are too small. I think we got the wrong shark.\\
'''Shodan:''' Elizabeth might take issue with that since this is the shark that was trying to ''eat her''.\\
'''Michelle:''' Yeah, but the cops said that the teeth-marks on Monk were ''bigger'' than this.\\
'''Shodan:''' True. But the cops are also stupid, and think Der Trihs ''faked'' that attack somehow.\\
'''Policeman:''' I'm standing right here.\\
'''Shodan:''' Oh, good. That means you heard me.
** Shows up later when Captain Tagon and his father are discussing the woman who used to captain the ship they're on.
--->'''Karl:''' Make her a sergeant.\\
'''Tagon:''' Are you kidding me? Dad, she's a complete unknown!\\
'''Murtaugh:''' I'm right here.\\
'''Karl:''' She's not UNS intel, and she's not trying to steal the ship back.\\
'''Tagon:''' How can you possibly know that?\\
'''Murtaugh:''' Listening to every word, boys.\\
'''Karl:''' I'm old, and I'm smart about a few things. I've got her pegged as a knight errant, a ronin. She's a sullied paladin questing for redemption.\\
'''Murtaugh:''' Gentlemen, I'm standing ''between'' you.
* IncrediblyLamePun:
** A supply vessel called "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-05-06 Eatonrun]]", call sign "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meal,_Ready-to-Eat MRE]] [[LeetLingo S0-7A57Y]]". The last part is claimed to be "completely unfunny", though (of course, if that's really MRE, [[EvenTheRatsWontTouchIt it may be]]).
** Ennesby coins the term [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-01-01 "Assassineated"]] to describe what Schlock did [[spoiler:to Colonel DeHaans.]]
* IndyPloy: No battle plan survives contact with the enemy, and at times the battle plans for the Toughs don't even make it to the point of contact before going up in a blaze of (in)glory.
* InformationWantsToBeFree:
** Early on in the series, the mercenaries are attacked repeatedly by the F'sherl-Ganni "Gatekeepers," due to experimenting with (and holding the patent for) the Teraport, a method of FasterThanLightTravel that far outstrips the unwieldy stargates that got the F'sherl-Ganni their other name. Finally, Admiral Breya Andreyasn figures out that there's a way to stop the attacks: release the Teraport into Open Source, essentially spreading the technology freely across the galaxy and removing the Gatekeepers' reason to specifically target Tagon's Toughs.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-06-15 Invoked by Petey]] after the UNS battleplate captain realizes that his intended private discussion with Petey was being transmitted on public channels.
** A bizarre eco-terrorist [[InsaneTrollLogic uses this as justification]] for the [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-11-04 giant man-eating sharks he created.]]
* InMediasRes: Used in the [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-08-17 opening]] of Book 8, ''The Sharp End of the Stick''. Later lampshaded [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-12-19 here.]]
* {{Instrumentality}}: The Fleetmind, but only for AIs and cyborgs.
%% * InsultFriendlyFire
* IronicEcho: When Para meets Kevyn for the first time, she recognizes him by name prompting a 'my reputation preceeds me' from Kevyn before she gives him a TheReasonYouSuckSpeech. When Para meets the timecloned Kevyn, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-02-14 it goes exactly the other way around.]]
* IronicEchoCut:
** Used during the "Massively Parallel" arc to communicate flashbacks.
--->'''Thurl:''' Okay, perfect. That should do it.\\
'''Narrator:''' Rewind: seven hundred hours earlier, berthed at the High Olympus shipyards.\\
'''Kevyn:''' Okay, perfect. That should do it.
** Again, during "Force Multiplication." Someone steals a villain's visor computer, which doesn't log itself out. She gloats about how he must be stupid, or it must be defective, [[TemptingFate right before it blows up in her face]]. Cut to the one who blew it up complaining about how he always suspected it was defective when she lives.
* ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne: In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-04-03 this]] strip, Karl Tagon is identified as a "nice old man". In the last panel, [[RightBehindMe he shows up suddenly]] to object to the "nice" part.
* ItWasntEasy: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-08-31 2004-08-31]]:
-->'''Kevyn:''' Do you expect us to believe that you took control of a Tausennigan Ob’enn [[TheBattlestar Thunderhead Superfortress]] using nothing more than a minitank?\\
'''Petey:''' I didn't say it was ''easy''.
* IWarnedYou: Ennesby zings Kevyn ''hard'' [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-12-23 here]].
-->'''Kevyn:''' One word from you and I'm handing you to Lieutenant Ventura for upgrades.
* JanitorImpersonationInfiltration: In the "Reality Television" arc, Lieutenant Ebniroth actually gets hired as a janitor for the building he's meant to infiltrate. Since they don't know the mercenaries are after them, he doesn't have to disguise his identity at all, even bragging about how his service qualifies him for the job.
* JumpTheShark: Just in case anyone thought the introduction of time travel might be the shark-jumping moment for the series, the author lampshades it [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-04-02 here]].[[invoked]]
* JustBetweenYouAndMe: {{Lampshaded}} [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-08-17 here,]] with [[spoiler:Major Timmons of UNS Intelligence]] declining to spill the beans to his intended victims.
* KarmicDeath: Colonel Krum originally tried to prevent Kathrine (and others) from using one of Tunguska's terapods, reserving seats for priority personnel. During the destruction of Morokweng, she was left behind with Kowalski claiming the seats are all full of priority passengers.
* KickTheSonOfABitch: Yes, the Toughs do some nasty stuff but we cheer for them anyway, because the current bad guys are usually nastier and deserve the pwning that's headed their way.
* KilledOffForReal: So far, [[spoiler:Doctor Lazcowicz, Hob, [=DoytHaban=] (well, sort of), Sh'vuu, Pronto, and Brad]].
* KilledMidSentence:
-->'''Ensenby:''' ([[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-07-19 from an armed troop-transport to a single guard]]) You there on the ground. Drop your weapon or be fired upon!\\
'''Guard:''' [[HonorBeforeReason I'll die before I]] '''[THOOM!!]'''\\
'''Ensenby:''' [[LampshadeHanging "...finish my sentence"]], [[BondOneLiner I think he was saying.]]
* KillerRabbit:
** The Ob'enn, (colloquially known as "psychobears") are cute, cuddly-''looking'' koalazoids who just happen to be [[ScaryDogmaticAliens unbelievably violent xenophobic megalomaniacs]].
---> '''Ennesby:''' The Tausennigan Ob'enn warlords look like cuddly teddy-bears?\\
'''Petey:''' Yes, they do. And they'd cheerfully exterminate your entire race for making that observation!\\
'''Ennesby:''' I guess that explains their rich military history, then.
** And inverted by the Kssthrata, the velociraptor-like species which evolved in the same system as the Ob'enn. Instead of continuing their counter-genocidal war with the Ob'enn, they just ''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-09-03 moved]]''.
* LateToThePunchline: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-08-11 Depicted here]].
* LawEnforcementInc: Sanctum Adroit, referred to by Tagon as the "haughtiest, most self-righteous mercenary company I know of." In other words the most principled.
* LaymansTerms: Kevyn's learned them. It was that or die because soldiers aren't physicists, and if you can't get them to understand you, you, along with trillions of others, will die because [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-06-15 most people don't know the difference between "nonillion" and "bazillion".]]
--> '''Kevyn:''' Captain, I need to be patched out. [[DontAskJustRun We've found something important.]]\\
'''Megiddo:''' I'll be the judge of that. Speak.\\
'''Kevyn:''' [[TechnoBabble The stabilizer control systems for the stellar-core toroidal singularity that drives the gate-copy system were damaged in the initial assault. Between eighty and ninety hours from now that singularity is going to release about a nonillion kilograms of mass, most of which will likely be expressed as energy.]]\\
'''Megiddo:''' Not worth the call. What else have you got?\\
'''Kevyn:''' [[StarKilling Well, we expect a pretty impressive supernova in about four days.]]\\
'''Megiddo:''' See, that is worth telling the fleet about.
* LeaningOnTheFourthWall:
** Characters often grip panel edges.
** Also:
--->'''Ennesby:''' The stray breacher round was a nice touch. Good timing. Perfect ironic humor. ''(Said in the last panel of a comic)''
* LeParkour: It's evolved into a martial art called Parkata Urbatsu. According to one character, along with influences of urbobatics and "something called [[Website/YouTube YouTubing]]."
* LetsYouAndHimFight: When being attacked by a battleplate belonging to a decidedly nasty faction of the UNS, [[spoiler:Tagii lures it close to a just released dark matter entity.]]
* LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-05-21 Ennesby to Schlock]], after a particularly [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-05-20 unpleasant moment]] involving the removal of the smell of death from Ennesby's chassis.
* LighterAndSofter: The Mallcop arc was distinctly lighthearted, with aerial hijinks and the only antagonists being non-violent free-runners.
* LikeAnOldMarriedCouple: Tagii and Tagon, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-25 according to herself]]. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-04-02 Kathryn and Nick]], according to Karl Tagon.
* LittleHeroBigWar: Ostensibly the Toughs' position, being a small mercenary company in a big, big galaxy with lots of conflict. However, they do play a role in many important events and are responsible for some major shifts in the galactic balance of power, including the introduction of the teraport, the formation of the Fleetmind, and the creation of LOTA.
* LivingDoorstop: Kevyn strapping misbehaving Buranabots to the hull as "ablative armor".
* LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters: Understandable, since it focuses on an entire company of mercenaries, but there's still a lot to keep track of. And the {{Big Guy}}s tend to all look fairly similar. Not to mention 950 million Gavclones and assorted Gate Clones. Unless a character is confirmed dead there is a very good chance they'll show up again. This applies to ''everyone''.
* LockedInARoom: Dr. Bunnigus and the Reverend are trapped together on the [[SpaceElevator Hellevator]] as one result of an attack on them by the Attorney Collective.
* LockingMacGyverInTheStoreCupboard:
** The [[spoiler: mobsters that kidnapped timeclone-Kevyn and general Tagon]] actually force Kevyn to build a machine that they don't understand.
** The original Kevyn turned a mini-wormgate into a gravy gun that splattered the UNS marines about to kill him, though it was fortunate he used it to clone himself first.
** Also happens to [[spoiler:Lt. Ventura]]. Her captor tries to be GenreSavvy by not having the [[spoiler:[[PuppyDogEyes innoncent-with-the-big-eyes]] looking girl]] guarded by an easily swayed human guard. [[spoiler:Instead they locked her in with the robots...]]
* LongevityTreatment:
** The amorph's creators made themselves immortal and destroyed their civilization as a result. Project "Laz'r'us" attempted to rectify humanity's short lifespans relative to so many aliens.
** A plot point is "Project Laz'r'us", which was intended to circumvent humanity's [[WeAreAsMayflies short lifespans]] in comparison to many other sophonts using hyper-advanced nanotechnology. The nannies are also capable of repairing a clinically dead host and even making internal backups of the brain. The species from whose computer equipment carbosilicate amorphs has evolved already made themselves immortal and ran into several layers of problems. Still, there's a few remaining individuals alive and sane after their twelve million of Terran years, "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-07-14 give or take a little bit]]".
* LongRunners: The comic has run constantly since June 2000.
** Referenced in a surprisingly meta BrickJoke - on [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-24 June 24th, 2000]], we learn that the New Synch Boys, who would go on to become the main character Ennesby, was in fact an AI of some sort. On [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-08-30 August 30th, 2013]], this is slyly referenced when Coxswain Para Ventura, a ridiculously competent and surprisingly young robotics ''savant'' and former Mole, reveals to Ennesby that she cried for a week straight when the record label announced (falsely) that the New Synch Boys had died in a shuttle crash, indicating that she was a young teenager at the time. Really serves to hang the lampshade on the comic's age, if we assume that time has passed in-universe at essentially the same rate it passed out-of-universe.
* LoopholeAbuse: Presumably, after [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-09-06 this strip]] there's now a company policy regarding air vents, where there wasn't one previously.
* MadeOfIron: Many of Tagon's mercenaries have various artificially-induced boosts to their strength and endurance, but during the [[spoiler:Timeclone Kevyn and Karl Tagon rescue]], Captain Tagon was particularly BadAss. Bad guy throws a knife and [[EyeScream sticks Tagon in the eye with it.]] Tagon pulls it out of his socket and uses it to kill the bad guy and a {{Mook}}.
* MadScientist: several, subverted in Kevyn. See the Characters page for details.
* MagicAntidote: The regenerative tanks, which can rebuild an entire person as long as their brain survives.
* MassOhCrap:
** [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-12-16 here]] after the original use of Credomar [[spoiler:as a hyperspace death ray that can't be stopped by any existing defensive technology]] is revealed by Lota:
--->'''Kevyn:''' This is where I defecate in sympathetic reflex for every defense planner in the galaxy.
** The crew together lets loose one when trying a then-experimental FTL drive to escape an attack by the Attorney Collective.
* MathematiciansAnswer:
-->'''Chelle:''' Why do you think the Barsoom Circus recruits new performers from all over the galaxy each month? People come to see the aliens do weird, alien stuff.\\
'''Schlock:''' Are we joining a circus or a freak show?\\
'''Chelle:''' ''[Deadpan]'' '''Yes.'''
* MeaningfulName:
** Several of the names in the series have gags attached to them (e.g., 'Corporal Oleo' getting sliced in two at the end of an OverlyLongGag based on the saying 'like a hot knife through butter'; the planet Qlaviql, which appeared shortly after Tayler [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-08-28 injured his clavicle]] in RealLife; the Tohdfraugs; Dr Todd, which stood for 'The Old Dead Doctor', who wasn't given a name until long after he was killed). Finally, {{Fanon}} holds that Kevyn and Breya's ''last'' name is meant to imply that they are descendants of a certain 21st century computer industry figure - who must have done very well, given that they are nobility back on Earth.
** And, most significantly, the oft-injured [[SdrawkcabName Der Trihs]].
** The Reverend Theo Fobius. A comical inversion of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theophilus_%28Biblical%29 "Theophilus"]] who crops up in both Luke and Acts in Literature/TheBible.
** Most of the planets they encounter. And all the Battleplates are [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast named after notable meteorite impacts with the earth]] (''[[TheTunguskaEvent Tunguska]]'', ''[[PhlebotinumKilledTheDinosaurs Chicxulub]]'', etc.). Logically, since they've meant to prevent [[ColonyDrop the near light-speed, weaponized version of that]].
** Then, of course, there's LOTA...
--->'''Kevyn:''' That's the name. ''LOTA''. It's ''your'' name. You live in those control systems. You ''are'' the [[WaveMotionGun Discontiguous Particle Acceleration System]].\\
'''Lota:''' Yes, that is a little megalomanicial.\\
'''Kevyn:''' Only now "Lota" stands for "''[[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast Long-gunner Of The Apocalypse]]''".\\
'''Lota:''' ...and Lota likes it.
* MembershipToken: A new member of the team decides to introduce the ChallengeCoin tradition to Tagon's Toughs, to tie-in with the RealLife creation of a variety of [[TheMerch Schlock Mercenary Challenge Coins]] created by Taylor for a Kickstarter campaign after he learned of the military tradition.
* MemoryGambit: Schlock pulls off one by taking advantage of the origins of amorphs as artificial data storage devices, by [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-22 sneaking some memories into [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-23 a bit of amorph goo stuck into one of his extra eyeballs.]]
* MenAreTheExpendableGender: Generally played straight. Although Tagon has several women in his company, the majority are officers, and the only two among the grunts are Elizabeth and Legs (neither of whom are human). While the female members of Tagon's command have suffered injuries throughout the series, the only members of the company who have actually been KilledOffForReal have been male. More female characters ''outside'' Tagon's crew have died, but even then not enough to avert this trope.
* {{Metaphorgotten}}:
** Howard Tayler ''loves'' playing with metaphors, almost as much as Creator/TerryPratchett. Breya even [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-05-20 revokes]] one character's metaphor privileges after a particularly {{Squick}}y one.
** This happens to Schlock, too.
--->'''Ebby:''' I need to see if these lieutenant tabs will let me revoke metaphor privileges from a sergeant.\\
'''Schlock:''' They don't. And even if they do, they don't.
* MightMakesRight: Despite all the cynicism, this trope is usually {{averted}}. Oh, sure, the strong ones can do whatever they like, but at least no one pretends they have the moral highground.
* MindlinkMates: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-12-22 Kevyn likes the idea]]. Petey doesn't think it's going to work well for humans without related experience.
* MindRape:
** The "Mind-Rip," an invariably fatal method of extracting a being's memories. Funnily enough, it's been used by the "[[AntiHero heroes]]" ''at least'' as often as the villains.
** Elf [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-12-05 accuses]] Petey of having “mindraped” Kevyn, but realizes it wasn’t so bad after calming down.
* MookHorrorShow: The 2001 Schlocktoberfest has Schlock regenerating, eating his friends to increase his mass[[note]]they were already badly wounded and he made sure their heads got into cyrokits[[/note]], and then tearing apart what the transcript calls "Diamond Bugs". The Bugs are juveniles and they see Schlock as a [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-10-25 "REGENERATING ZOMBIE CANNIBAL"]].
* MoreDakka: Used liberally, and forms the basis of Maxim 37: There is no "overkill". There is only "open fire" and "I need to reload".
* MotionCaptureMecha: Used with sufficient delicacy [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-03-14 to pick one's own nose]].
* MyNameIsInigoMontoya, YouKilledMyFather, PrepareToDie: All three show up in one panel of [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-07-22 this strip]].
-->'''Gasht'g'd'g'tang:''' I'm Gasht'g'd'g'tang. Your gate-copy killed my son. Prepare to die.
* MythArc:
** It's subtle, but the state of the galaxy is influenced a great deal by the Toughs, whether they know it or not. It begins with Kevyn's invention of the teraport, then [[spoiler: the gatekeepers siccing the partnership collective on them to suppress the technology.]] Which leads to [[spoiler: The teraport wars, and then the war with the dark matter entities.]]
** There's a second arc at play as well. [[spoiler:Project Lazarus]] started as an even more subtle myth arc, but starting about [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-12-09 here]] a lot of [[ChekhovsGun Chekhov's Guns]] were fired in quick succession, bringing the arc to the fore. The [[spoiler:Lazarus]] arc may not be as ''vast'' as the Teraport Wars or the Andromeda War, but it's a lot more ''personal'' - and what with Petey having taken in [[spoiler:General Xinchub]] and possibly allied with him, the two arcs are likely to fuse into one.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast:
** The ship ''Serial Peacemaker''. Ironically, it is the smallest and least dangerous ship the Toughs have used as their flagship.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-02-14 As explained here,]] he name of the alien {{artificial intelligence}} T'kkkuts Afa ''literally'' translates as "Broken Wind". This shows why it is very important to consider cultural context when performing translations; a looser translation would be "Angry God". The looser translation is not misleading.
* {{Nanomachines}}: used heavily in-story and [[PlayingWithATrope played with]] a lot by the author.
* NeverHeardThatOneBefore: In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-02-13 this strip]] Kathryn Flinders replies sarcastically that "that joke never gets old" when Schlock references an old joke about "military intelligence" being an oxymoron, after she's hired by the Toughs in the "Haven Hive" storyline.
* NewPowersAsThePlotDemands: The ShowWithinAShow has Schlock gaining abilities which Amorphs don't actually have for the sake of the show's plot. This presents problems for Schlock later.
* NiceJobBreakingItHero:
** The "older and wiser than everyone" Thurl, of all people, falls victim to this. After figuring out that [[spoiler: Para and Tagii might have loyalties elsewhere, he goes and disconnects Tagii. The result? Since Tagii was jamming the Redhack, Gavs started morphing into Super Soldiers all over the place, the Toughs lost overwatch and are in an ill position to fight off anyone else since Ennesby doesn't have Tagii's processing power at his disposal and the Oisri startup sequence is running and threatening to squish everyone around into singularity. Oh, and Tagii goes banshee-insane, and tries to kill the entire crew.]] Of course he acted in the best interest of the Toughs based on the information he had, but he stands firmly in the UnwittingInstigatorOfDoom territory.
** In a later plot-arc, the Toughs arrive at their new assignment aboard a massive space-borne construct, find that their entrance is [[spoiler:blocked with wooden growths]] and promptly [[spoiler: start an equally-massive fire blasting their way in.]]
* NighInvulnerable: a number of characters, starting with Schlock and going up to god-like proportions.
* NightSwimEqualsDeath: The plot of the Mahuitalotu arc [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-10-02 kicks off this way,]] with one of the Toughs [[spoiler:being eaten by a shark secretly introduced into the oceans.]]
* NinjaPirateZombieRobot:
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-09-08 In one strip]], the Pi talks about watching Jack-san Robo III, which features a ninja pirate cowboy with a monkey.
** Turns out that the UNS is a government version of this. It's a combination of democracy, oligarchy, and every other sort of government you can think of, with some representatives elected, others chosen by lottery, and others with their seats explicitly and publicly bought. It's mentioned that this insane compromise of a legislature has been balancing on a knife's edge for centuries, and has great difficulty making any major decisions.
* NobodyPoops: Perhaps a bit ''[[ToiletHumor too]]'' averted at times.
* NoEndorHolocaust: Averted [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-07-04 here]].
* NoFourthWall: More frequently and noticeably in early strips.
** During the "Pointy End of the Stick" storyline, Kevyn literally "met his maker" during a near-death experience, and instantly recognized him as the cartoonist, which led to this exchange:
--->'''Kevyn:''' Are you killing me?\\
'''The Cartoonist:''' No.\\
'''Kevyn:''' Oh. Goo-\\
'''The Cartoonist:''' [[ExactWords Blood loss]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-09-02 is killing you.]]
** Generally speaking, the fourth wall disappears when someone is dying (usually only for that character). Thus, when the entire ''galaxy'' is dying, the fourth wall may as well be non-existent.
* NothingIsScarier: The tactical uses of this combined with ParanoiaFuel are nicely demonstrated [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-05-08 here.]]
* NotInMyContract: In the closing of the first Credomar story arc, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-02-22 Tagon protests to a UNS Commodore]] that it wasn't in the contract that they should distribute the food to a Credomar faction inclined towards annexation by the UNS.
-->'''Commodore:''' You might have found our choice...objectionable.\\
'''Tagon:''' Then we would have asked for more money.\\
'''Commodore:''' ''Mercenaries...''\\
'''Tagon:''' You get what you pay for.
* NWordPrivileges: Gorillas have, prior to the 31st century, been [[UpliftedAnimal uplifted]] to human level sapience, and since then a lot of primate-related phrases have been deemed as being racist. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-11-18 Unless you're a gorilla yourself, apparently.]]
* OddCouple: Bunnigus and the Reverend (sounds like a sitcom title), now HappilyMarried, despite [[spoiler:issues with FakeMemories]].
* OddShapedPanel: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-10-28 Overlapping, with arrows between them.]]
* OhCrap: Many.
** Once [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-01-29 literally]].
--->'''Kevyn:''' My sentiments precisely, sir.
** Tailor's expression [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-09-22 here]] is notable, just having realized that a ''gunship'' is about to ''shoot his restraints off.''
** The Reverend has a few of these moments, both giving and receiving.
--->'''Ebby''': What are the chances Credomar's king can be hacked? ...okay, I'm full. Time to go to sleep.\\
'''Theo''': Sleep? Who can sleep?
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-09-06 Kevyn's reaction]] to Para telling him that Tagii [[spoiler: didn't plant the code causing the Gavs' mutations, she was jamming it.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-02-05 Another literal reaction.]] Quite reasonable, when the man in question is in the habit of keeping antimatter stored next to his head.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-02-07 Following this slightly verbose version from Tagii,]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-02-08 Ennesby improvises the best response he can while giving some context.]]
* OminousLatinChanting: Ennesby sets an army of repair drones to [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-10-13 singing "O Fortuna."]]
** To the tune of [[EarWorm "Ay, macarena"]] it seems.
** He uses the macarena [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-10-14 here]], but "[[TranslationTrainWreck retranslated]]" it to [[InvokedTrope avoid it infecting anyone else]].
--->'''Burana-bots: [[TranslationTrainWreck OY VEY, MACARONI!]]'''\\
'''Ennesby:''' This one's kind of catchy. Especially if you have arms to do the moves with.
* [[TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat The Omnipotent AI Knew You Would Do That]]: Petey engineers many apparently coincidental events, eventually admitting to it [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-02-09 here]]:
--->'''Theo:''' So events like the recent chain of tiny manipulations that [[spoiler:destroyed Pi's explosives]] won't constantly be shattering my illusions of free agency?\\
'''Petey:''' No one else figured that out. You're very astute.\\
'''Theo:''' Oh no. You '''''knew''''' we'd be having this conversation.\\
'''Petey:''' Very, '''''very,''''' astute.
* OnlyInItForTheMoney: It ''is'' about a band of mercs, after all - [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-06-06 but even they won't agree to some things]].
* OnThree: There is the occasion when a sniper has Schlock in his sights, while Schlock had just fired some grenades at the target. While the sniper tries to get an eye shot, Schlock holds up his fingers to count down from three to zero (''ground'' zero) since his targeting computer told him how long it'll take the grenades to reach their target.
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: When Ennesby, the resident PungeonMaster ''fails'' to deliver a fart joke after learning that an ancient (and very insane) space station AI's name translates to "Broken Wind", Tagon realizes [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-02-15 just how bad the situation really is]].
* OtherMeAnnoysMe: Amorphs [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-05-21 ran into]] a problem with [[RealityIsUnrealistic TV version of them]]:
-->'''Schlock''': The TV-me is putting me-me out of a job. [...] Maybe we can kill another TV network. Is there still money in that?
* OrwellianRetcon: "The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries" used to be "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates," and the "maxims" referred to as "rules" (with the explanation that each "habit" comprised several "rules"). Eventually, the publishers of the real "Seven Habits..." caught wind and made him change it. ("Eventually" here defined as "after over eight years, when the joke had already long since undergone MemeticMutation...") To soften the blow however, Howard Tayler admitted he was glad for the excuse to make the change, not least because the new title could be used for TheMerch.
* OutgrownSuchSillySuperstitions: {{Averted}}; religion is alive and well among many different cultures, and the Tagon's Toughs have their own chaplain (Reverend Theo). In his [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-11-17 first appearance]], Howard Tayler included an editor's note stating that this trope is what's "foolishly optimistic," not religion.
* OutlawTown: The starport and orbital station of Ghanj-rho are havens for smugglers, pirates, and slavers. It's also where Tagon's Toughs hired most of their non-Terran troops, and it's Sergeant Schlock's homeworld (though he was one of the "primitive natives" and left years earlier as a slave).
* OutrunTheFireball: Averted. Major Charper's shuttle ''fails'' to [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-06-12 outrun this particular (nuclear) fireball.]] [[spoiler:Don't worry, he survives.]]
* OverusedRunningGag: InUniverse, this is what Tagon considers Shodan's continuing to bring up the accident during the Mall Cop Command arc where Tagon got [[EyeScream a fork stuck in his eye]].
-->'''Tagon''': Clever, but I bet a professional comedian would have moved on to new material by now.
* OverlyPreparedGag: One of the ships the company gets was christened the "Serial Peacemaker."
-->'''Ennesby:''' Everyone stand by to pour some Serial Peacemaker into a big bowl of "no-problem."\\
'''Tagon:''' How long have you been waiting to use that stupid "Cereal" pun?\\
'''Ennesby:''' Ever since you let me name the ship, sir.
* PaintingTheMedium: Characters routinely lean on or brace themselves against panel borders.
* PeelingPotatoes: parodied [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-09-02 here]].
* PeopleJars: At one point, the author gets away with a full-frontal nude shot of Elf in a regeneration tank by making her too nude to have ''skin''. "I'm as naked as the day I was born. And then some."
* PerpetualPoverty:
** However many times the Toughs get paid, they'll be struggling to make next paycheck before you know it.
--->'''Tagon:''' This number looked a lot bigger before I started the payroll.
** Interestingly enough, it was {{averted}} once. And then that aversion was {{deconstruct|ion}}ed, as [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-03-16 a large fraction of the mercenaries took their new-found wealth and retired.]]
* PerpetualStorm: Book 14, "Broken Wind", features a planet-sized gigahabitat that rotates to provide gravity. The resulting coriolis force has produced a permanent "sideways hurricane" in one part of the habitat, when a pair of baffle walls designed to prevent just that are intentionally knocked down.
* PerfectlyCromulentWord: Ennesby has a habit of doing this. Words, phrases, quips, and puns. [[PungeonMaster Ye gads, the puns]]...
-->'''Schlock:''' Ennesby gave me a shorter word to say all that, Sir. 'Assassineated'.\\
'''Tagon:''' Ennesby needs to stop inventing words.
* PhraseCatcher: Schlock's faster than he looks. ''Finally'' lampshaded:
-->'''[[VillainOfTheWeek Pau]]:''' Don't worry about me! Worry about that turd-tentacled monster! He's faster than he -\\
'''Schlock:''' [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore Say "Looks."]]
* Mohs/PhysicsPlus: Gravity manipulation (but not ''generation'' -- ships are built around spheres of neutronium as sources of gravity to manipulate), a process which is as well developed as electronics, and playing the result to its natural conclusions; ubiquitous {{flight}}, DeflectorShields, [[OurWormholesAreDifferent traversable wormholes]] (one example which {{Justifie|dTrope}}s a TimeTravel storyline), and [[TeleportersAndTransporters quantum teleportation]]. Some find the easy nanotechnology a bit of a stretch.
* PlasmaCannon: Schlock's signature BHG-9000 plasguns, plural because they tend to explode at the drop of a hat.
* PopulationControl: Earth has a gene pool protection act that required Doctor Bunnigus's parents to have a DesignerBaby.
* PortalNetwork: with an ''incredibly'' dark secret; [[spoiler:It [[CloningBlues copies]] everyone who uses it each time they use it. The Gatekeepers then interrogate the copies and kill them. They know everything about everybody without anyone's knowledge. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-04-05 Seven million people every minute]]. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-04-06 For hundreds of thousands of years.]] Technically, [[WellIntentionedExtremist they meant well]] - [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-07-10 the Pa'anuri made it clear]] that either the Gatekeepers would prevent the use of TeleportersAndTransporters or they'd kill the Milky Way Galaxy.]]
* PoweredArmor: Besides the standard stuff, the Toughs are equipped with low-profile (to the point of invisibility) armor built into their uniforms that helps diffuse energy weapons and lets them ''fly.''
* ThePowerOfFriendship: A twisted sort of application of the trope. The Toughs can't count on their allies, because they're mercenaries and your allies might be the guys you're hired to kill tomorrow; they can't count on any of their respective home governments, for pretty much the same reason; they certainly can't count on their employers, who are frequently known to try to backstab the Toughs since, well, they hired a band of mercenaries to begin with, so why not add "screwing over those who make a living with violence"? But they know they can count on their ''friends'' (which, admittedly, is usually limited to "each other", but the sentiment is there).
* PrivateMilitaryContractors: The Toughs and much of their competition that isn't a star nation's military.
* ProjectedMan: most of the shipboard [=AIs=]; also, Ennesby before he joined the crew and got a body of sorts.
* ProperlyParanoid:
** Pi's paranoid delusions are sometimes right on the money.
*** First, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-06-08 there's the incident with a grav-catcher]]. As the LemonyNarrator puts it, "It's a good thing he's not in therapy. This would undo months of progress."
*** And it takes someone as crazy as him to think of [[spoiler: hyperspace cannons and zombie plagues.]]
--->'''Pi''': ''But the plan is absurd. Suborning Gavcorps would be terribly expensive, and no military will admit to having genocidal nanotech on hand...''
** Karl Tagon's response to seeing [[spoiler: Kaff Tagon's nanite-riddled girlfriend]] start having a seizure - put his suit-helmet up in case of bio-weaponry. [[spoiler: His wife]] wasn't so lucky...
* PsychicPowers: It is stated early on by the narrator that someone with "psychic sight" can see the bullet destined to kill someone. This is dropped in favor of harder sci-fi, but psychic powers such as (radio) telepathy get referenced every once in a while.
** There's an in-universe TV show called ''Psychic Suzie''. She's [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-04-09 quite unconventional]], for a medium.
* PsychoticManchild: Probably the best description of Schlock's attitude. He does show care and loyalty to his friends despite his status as a sociopath, but enjoys fighting too much to care about the blazing hot maimery he spews from his plasma cannon on anyone but his friends.
* PunctuationShaker:
** The F'Sherl-Ganni typically have ''three'' apostrophes in their names
** And they call a certain enemy the Paan'uri, or is it Paa'nuri, or Pa'anuri?
* PungeonMaster: Ennesby, being an entertainment AI, used a databank of puns across 50 languages.
* QuoteToQuoteCombat: A notable [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-12-23 exchange]] occurs after LOTA [[ItMakesSenseInContext teraports New Credomar out of the cannon barrel]].
-->'''Kevyn:''' If you say "I told you so," I get to say "my sarcasm is more accurate than your paranoia."\\
'''Ennesby:''' That's fair.
* RagtagBunchOfMisfits: The misfits and more exotic alien members of the team are all assembled in a squad led by Schlock himself. Tagon and his command staff treat them as an elite force they don't so much deploy as unleash.
** And barring some of the only remaining founding members of Tagon's Toughs (as seen at the start of the strip,) they represent the longest-serving and most experienced members of the company (experienced as Toughs, anyway.) The command staff tend to listen when they speak, even if they vastly outrank them. (It doesn't hurt that Sgt. Schlock once ''literally'' owned the company, and still owns as much or more stock as the command staff.))
* RazorFloss: Tagon's "Dorothy System" which strings a razor-sharp wire between his boots when he clicks his heels together.
* RecursiveAmmo: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-03-16 Referenced once]], but beam attacks tend to be more common when battles occur.
* RecursiveCanon: The very inaccurate ShowWithinAShow licensed adaptation of the Toughs' adventures, which inappropriately chibifies the crew and exaggerates Schlock's abilities.
* RecursiveReality: In the library at Tinth-Pilkra, as part of an OldMediaAreEvil joke, on a shelf in the foreground can be found compilations of early twenty-first century webcomics, including ''Webcomic/SluggyFreelance''... and ''Schlock Mercenary'' itself.
* RememberTheNewGuy: {{Justified|Trope}}. The Toughs are a mercenary company anywhere between several dozen and a few hundred strong, [[RedShirt not all of them identified.]] Introducing a new character [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-03-02 can and has been as simple as giving one of them a name and a job that lets the audience know what he does.]]
* RememberWhenYouBlewUpASun: When M'Conger is boggling at the sheer size of a mere ''portion'' of the artificial environment they're exploring, Legs dismisses it as no big deal.
-->'''Legs:''' You weren't with us for the Buuthandi. Engineering feats lose their punch after you've popped the containment system somebody built around a star.
* {{Retcon}}: Due to trademark issues, the BigBookOfWar of the series needed to be retitled. Formerly "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates", it is now "The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries".
* TheRevolutionWillNotBeCivilized: It's not clear what sort of democracy Shufgar promoted, but his methods [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-04-01 aren't much better]] than those of cannibalistic aristocracy he fights.
* RidiculouslyHumanRobot: Human in basic emotions, very not human in every other part of their outlook.
* RightBehindMe:
** Captain Tagon [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-01-13 falls victim to this trope]] when he starts to badmouth General Xinchub, only to have Massey point out that the general is right behind him.
** Captain Gasca [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-03-19 tells the admiral]] how the current intelligence chief is too cautious. And that's when said chief appears to remind him that if her predecessor had been more cautious, he would be less dead.
** Kevyn gets this pulled on him with the Gav ambassador aboard the ''Touch and Go'', thanks in part to [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-07-28 a "helpful" Tagii.]]
** Karl Tagon gets the drop on one of the Parkata Urbatsu performers, who finds out that Karl resents the "nice" part of [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-04-03 "nice old man".]]
* RightManInTheWrongPlace: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-12-18 This Qlaviql ore freighter captain]] is in command of the only ship able to respond to an attack on his homeworld by a frigate armed with a powerful plasma lance. With guts and a "dream mess" created from the ore mined from asteroids, the frigate is destroyed. This ultimately results in [[spoiler: his being declared the leader of the planet.]]
* RightOnQueue: A whole story arc is based around this. Luna's bureaucracy was so slow, and the queue so immensely long, only the oldest people in line remembered it ever moving. There were religions dedicated to the idea of reaching the front. The Toughs thought they'd been hired to disperse a crowd of rioters, but found that it was just the line for the bureaucracy.
* RubberForeheadAliens: Averted. The alien population is extremely diverse and well worth studying if you'd like to break out of that anthrocentric mold. The title character doesn't even '''have''' a head or a bipedal humanoid form. It's even [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-12-16 played for laughs sometimes.]]
--> '''Bounty Hunter''': Everyone lie down, and put your hands behind your head!\\
'''Tetrisoid''': I can't lie down.\\
'''Uplifted elephant''': I don't have hands.\\
'''Unioc''': I don't have a head.\\
'''Bounty Hunter''': It's times like this I start feeling really, really bigoted.
* RugbyIsSlaughter: All sports, from Ballet to Deathball, share a league. One where spiking the ball with high explosives is allowed. Rugby is not permitted.
* RuleOfFunny: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-11-21 "[One interpretation of this scene is that] the Universe required a punchline (which it does, every day) and warped physics in such a way that the conversation was audible."]]
* RunningGag:
** The most enduring example is that Schlock looks like, well, a giant pile of crap. Nearly everyone who sees him for the first time [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-02-27 mistakes him]] for a moving pile of poop. And when not, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-03-08 they still say it.]]
** Der Trihs ending up as a head in a jar; Kevyn surviving repeated deaths; Schlock crawling, or squeezing, through air vents and pipes; the names of the ships in Petey's fleet; the Toughs killing lawyer drones on sight; the Gavs. In Book 11, the recurring question [[WhatWouldXDo What Would Schlock Do?]] Schlock later [[BigDamnHeroes shows up]] to deliver a superb "Show Not Tell" answer. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-10 "This."]]
** Every time Kathryn gets her bus repaired, the Toughs hijack it frequently enough [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-02-01 that its story is delivered as a running gag.]]
** It's almost impossible to keep track of the amount of times when kitties are involved and Schlock [[ExtremeOmnivore tries to eat them.]] Fortunately for the kitties, [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption he never does.]]
** Schlock being faster than he looks, much to the surprise of those facing him.
** The VomitingCop in "A Hand of Acey's." Yes, the IncrediblyLamePun is {{Lampshaded}}.
** The in-universe Schlock Mercenary TV show, it comes around every now and then to overshadow the protagonists and causes them inconveniences.
** There's also recurrent phrases mostly from the "Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries," such as "Pillage, then burn" or "There is no overkill. There is only 'open fire' and 'time to reload.'"
** One that was used heavily early on but shows up less frequently in later strips are the use of ''numerous'' variations on OpenMouthInsertFoot.
** Schlock's [[{{BFG}} plasma cannon]] getting blown up. ''especially'' when he and the people he's with are in desperate need of heavy weaponry.
* SapientShip: it's a rare exception when a capital ship is flown by a human pilot or even a mobile robot. Almost every armed starship we see is inhabited by its own AI, who "is" the ship and considers the whole structure its body.
* SarcasmFailure: You know the situation is dire when Ennesby neglects to make a fart joke about "Broken Wind".
* ScareEmStraight: Regularly.
** Such as with [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-03-23 Renault clumsily hitting on Elf]] prompted her to "fill in some key details".
** Tagon [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-02-24 didn't agree]] with an employer on some important terms. His solution is to quit and [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-02-26 then]] ask Pibald for "his ''favorite''" (which is bound to be colorful) scenario for a potential attack, inducing the employer's security chief into their little Club ProperlyParanoid in seconds.
* ScaryDogmaticAliens: Implied as the reason behind the Ob'enn's war-like nature.
-->'''Psycho-Bear Lieutenant:''' Talking to inferior species beats getting killed by them.\\
'''Psycho-Bear Captain:''' Don't let the chaplain hear you say that.
* SceneryCensor: gets to ridiculous levels in ''The Sharp End of the Stick'', when the Toughs wind up naked after being captured and stripped of their clothing and armor. {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d in the note to [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-03-22 this]] strip, where Schlock's arms being spread wide for a yawn cover the lower areas of Elf and Kevyn.
* SciFiWritersHaveNoSenseOfScale: Cheerfully {{lampshaded}}: The narrator will go into great effort to describe exactly how big the universe/galaxy/star system is, and how abysmally low the chances of some event happening are, and then the event will happen. A lot of these are {{Justified|Trope}} much, much later.
* ScoundrelCode: ''[[TheJoyOfX The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries]]''.
* SealedEvilInACan: This is what the structure the Toughs were defending in "Random Access Memorabilia" [[spoiler:(Osiri)]] is thought to be at first, [[spoiler:a {{Precursor}} prison containing a dark matter entity.]] The truth turns out to be a lot more complicated.
* SelfDeprecation:
** The author is a Mormon from an Irish family. The [[{{BFG}} BH-209]] comes in two models, "M" and "I," for "Mormon" and "Irishman." The difference? Ethanol tolerance.
** On the Nejjit:
--->'''Petey:''' They are also deathly allergic to chocolate, coffee, tea, tobacco, and anything that's been fermented with yeast.\\
'''Narrator:''' Wow. You'd think they were Mormons.
** And on a more personal note:
--->'''Kevyn:''' [[MonkeysOnATypewriter If you have an infinite number of monkeys banging on an infinite number of hypernet terminals, for an infinite amount of time]], eventually you'll crank out all the great works of Howard Tayler.\\
'''Narrator:''' Note: This can actually be done with three monkeys in fifteen minutes.
* SerialEscalation: Approaches this at times. How many times can you get paid for a single job? Tagon's Toughs' current record is [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-09-29 five.]]
* SetRightWhatOnceWentWrong: When Kevyn travels back and therefore the BadFuture is erased, this is effectively conveyed with a panel that imitates the look of loading a saved game in DOS.
-->[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Your current game will be lost. Reload from previous save? Y/N ]]
\\
> [[/folder]]

[[folder: Y ]]
\\
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Loading... ]]

* ShoutOut: [[ShoutOut/SchlockMercenary Has its own page]].
* ShoulderCannon: The PoweredArmor developed by Tailor for the Toughs has the option of mounting a cannon on each shoulder of the suit, which can also [[AttackDrone detach and function on their own as]] [[IncrediblyLamePun "Paul-drones"]].
* SlasherSmile:
** Most of the Toughs' officers can do this, notably Tagon ([[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-02-26 example here]]). He likes violence and he likes getting paid. If he is smiling, ''pray you are his employer.''
--->'''Ebbirnoth''': [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-23 I've seen Schlock make that smile before, sir. It's creepier on you.]]
** Pi's can get [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-11-01 downright frightening]], too.
* SlidingScaleOfIdealismVersusCynicism: Quite cynical.
* SlidingScaleOfSillinessVersusSeriousness: Despite the cynicism of the strip, it rarely takes itself seriously.
* SmartPeoplePlayChess: [=AIs=] play chess for fun. You can tell when one of them is seriously outclassed because his opponent will be able to predict the entire game before the first move is played.
* SophisticatedAsHell: Murtaugh combines this with AltumVidetur [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-03-17 here]]. [[spoiler: Working out the translation shows that it also adds in GettingCrapPastTheRadar.]]
* StomachOfHolding: Schlock ''is'' this. Overlaps with HyperspaceArsenal, given that he's been known to keep a substantial number of large weapons, and on occasion an armoured spacesuit big enough to fit himself in...
* TheSoulless: The Reverend doesn't think that AIs have souls. He mentions this to Schlock, who observes that's he's an artificial life form too, and wonders whether [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-09-25 one might acquire a soul by eating someone else.]].
* SpaceBasedWeaponHasCutoffRange: Averted [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-03-23 here,]] where the note for the strip explains that the beam will essentially continue on until it hits something more substantial than interstellar dust.
* SpacePeople: The F'sherl-ganni/Gatekeepers, to the point of being able to survive vacuum.
* SparseListOfRules: The Maxims, of which there are seventy but only about 35 have been revealed.
* SpitTake: Kevyn gets several in a row, starting [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-07-18 here.]]
* SpySpeak: In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-06-12 this strip,]] [[spoiler:Maximillian Haluska]]'s use of field operative terminology gave away [[spoiler:he was more than just a well-equipped thug.]] The "Aunt Amy" and "Uncle Bob" thing comes up again [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-10-12 here]], in conversation with [[spoiler:Para Ventura.]]
* StarfishAliens: Schlock is really, really weird. Most of the others we meet at least breathe oxygen, and a lot of them are something vaguely resembling humanoid. But the Pa'anuri are the weirdest of all, consisting of dark matter that can't even exist in this dimension.
* StealthCigaretteCommercial: The in-universe Plasma Cannon Safety Coloring Book, printed jointly by Magic Dreamland Entertainment and Strohl Munitions.
* StopHelpingMe:[[invoked]]
** In the book "The Body Politic", [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-08-10 Schlock accidentally lets slip to the clients they're planning to con that they made plans to... well, con them.]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-08-11 Elf manages to explain it away as a]] [[CrazyPrepared security precaution]].
--->'''Schlock:''' Nice save.\\
'''Elf:''' ''Stop helping''.
** In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-02-18 this strip]] Dr. Bunnigus tells Schlock to shut up while she's trying to counsel a distraught Para Ventura over her fear [[spoiler:about killing others]].
* StoryBreakerPower: Petey could deal with most of the issues the heroes face on a whim. He has purposely done things in a less efficient way just to give them something to do in a few storylines since his ascension to Fleetmind.
* {{Stripperiffic}}: Parodied.
* StronglyWordedLetter: Used several times:
** Once [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20060115.html the Fleetmind starts interfering in governments]]:
--->'''President Mancala:''' I'll send you the full report. This kind of opportunistic militarism cannot be tolerated. The United Nations of Sol and allied planetary Governments will not stand idly by while sovereign galactic powers are overthrown, crushed, or assimilated by the Fleetmind.\\
'''Ambassador Breya:''' What's our plan, Mister President? Do I need to deliver a declaration of war, and then withdraw the embassy?\\
'''President Mancala:''' Don't be ridiculous. Your job is to lodge a protest, using the strongest possible diplomatic language.\\
'''Ambassador Breya:''' Ah. And how is that different from "standing idly by?"\\
'''President Mancala:''' If we were standing idly by, we would not be lodging a protest.\\
'''Ambassador Breya:''' Wow. We are fearsome.
** And just to rub it in:
--->'''Note:''' The League of Galactics is a millennia-old body of diplomats and other ne'er-do-wells representing almost two hundred thousand different governments throughout the Milky Way Galaxy. It has a rich and varied history, liberally garnished with back-patting tales of heroic diplomacy -- studies conducted, sanctions administered, statements released, and reprimands served.\\
It has about as much effect on key galactic events as central Asian rainfall has on the mean high tide in the Gulf of Mexico. Brandishing a reprimand from the League of Galactics is only marginally worse than threatening to cut off one's access to the Ron Popeil Shopping Channel.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20060129.html ''I'm here to lodge a protest. I'll let you read it yourself. The formal document uses some of the strongest words you can write in Galstandard West without violating grammatical checksum.'']]
** As far as Schlock himself is concerned, the words "temporary restraining order" mean "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-08-01 come back with guns.]]"
** {{Subverted}} on one occasion however.
--->'''Ennesby:''' Fine. I've forwarded [the nasty-gram I sent to Xinchub] to you for your expert critique.\\
''Some time later:''\\
'''Tagon:''' I see you've just been exposed to Ennesby's WeaponsGradeVocabulary.
* SubspaceAnsible: The Hypernet is able to reach anywhere instantly, unless it's being specifically jammed.
* SuperSenses: Schlock has superhuman senses of [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-08-17 vision]], [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-03-29 hearing]], and [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-06-04 smell]]. [[LightningBruiser Part of]] [[NighInvulnerable what makes him]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-03-18 so dangerous.]]
* SuperSerum: Soldier-boosts; illegal if done without a license, but that doesn't stop anyone.
* SuperSoldier: Several, with the Doyts being particularly notable.
* SuperSpit: One of the abilities the Magic Cyrokit gives Doythaban.
* SuperweaponSurprise: Implied in the form of Maxim 24: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a really big gun."
* TakeOurWordForIt: The artist knows full well that sometimes the readers' imaginations can come up with a far more epic scene than whatever he might've had planned, so he employs this.
* TalkingIsAFreeAction: Averted, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-02-09 here,]] due to one character having far less time to chat than he thought.
* TalkingYourWayOut: Most characters employ this (even the [[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass supposedly dumb ones]]) to some degree, but Kathryn in particular is an artist. [[spoiler:No small wonder, considering her background.]] Case in point [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-06-16 here]], talking her way out of being held at gunpoint.
* TankGoodness: ''Flying'' Tank goodness for the win.
* TechnologyUplift: While hiding out on a primitive planet the company chaplain convinces Kevyn to build a robot to uplift the natives, unfortunately they throw it in a volcano.
* TeleportInterdiction: Teraport Area Denial systems were introduced within days of Kevyn making the blueprints for the Teraport open-source. Removing the Tough's massive tactical advantage.
* TemptingFate:
** The characters are very GenreSavvy when it comes to this. Lampshading it is [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-01-23 something]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-05-01 of]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-08-08 a]] RunningGag. Of course, sometimes they know better, and, well, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-07-04 sometimes they don't]].
** Their terminology for it is "Taunting [[FinaglesLaw Murphy]]".
** Again: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-04-17 Don't]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-05-14 taunt Murphy.]]
* ThemeInitials: all of the PD Fleet ships have names with the initials 'P.D.'[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-08-28]] Their fleet of warships contains, among others, ships named Pterodactyl, Perjurious Discourse, Pretentious Drivel, Predictably Damaged (I-VI), Priority Delivery, Painstakingly Defenestrated, [[TropeName Polysyllabic Designation]], and more.
* TheXOfY: All the Ob'enn ship names [[ThemeNaming follow a strict pattern]]: The [''Object''] of [''Pretentious Adjective''] [''Pretentious Principle'']. If it is a defensive ship, the object will be a piece of armor or article of clothing; if offensive, a pointy handweapon of some sort. Lampshaded when Tagon [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-07-09 was told]] his recently-acquired [[{{Nanomachines}} fabber]] is of Ob'enn manufacture:
-->'''Tagon''': Let's slap a drive and crew quarters on it and christen it the ''[[TitleDrop Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance]]''.\\
'''Kevyn''': Making fun of Ob'enn ship names is like shooting fish in the barrel of circular swimming.
* ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill:
** Routinely. {{Discussed|Trope}} in [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-11-30 this strip]].
** Maxim 37: is "There is no overkill. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'.
** And Maxim 34: "If you're leaving scorchmarks, you need a bigger gun." (First mentioned [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-09-22 here]], sans number.
** After [[spoiler:Karl Tagon and Timeclone Kevyn]] are kidnapped, the Toughs have the following exchange:
--->'''Thurl:''' Whoever took him was not subtle.\\
'''Kevyn:''' Broken furniture?\\
'''Thurl:''' ''Craters.''
* ThereWasADoor: Petey tends to use unorthodox methods of entering spaceships, seen, for example, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-03-25 here]].
* ThreePointLanding: Tagon [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-12-08 here]], particularly impressive in that he also did a flip.
* ThrownOutTheAirlock: Both Petey and Lota are willing to threaten to use this tactic. Of course, Petey's version is more a teralock, but still...
-->'''Lota:''' Should you so much as ''approach'' those systems Lota will be required to fire you.\\
'''Kevyn:''' Okay, I get it.\\
'''Lota:''' '''''Out an airlock.'''''
* ThirdPersonPerson: Lota not only refers to Lota in the third person, but insists that everyone else does so as well.
* ThisAintRocketSurgery: One plotline invokes [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-09-05 both]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-09-13 halves]] of this in quick succession.
* TimeAbyss: The Really Old Dude and Very Old Guy, members of the species that [[spoiler:originally created the amorphs]].
-->'''Fobottr Tenant:''' Are you claiming that your people have been on the surface for over ten million years?\\
'''[[FunWithAcronyms Rod]]:''' Oh, my people have been down there for ''much'' longer than ''that''. No, I was just talking about ''me'', personally.
* TimeForPlanB: Recurring.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-02-10 Plan C! Plan C!]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-05-29 This strip goes to Plan E.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-25 "I was happier not even knowing the letter."]]
* TimeTravel:
** Kevyn manages it in the effort to [[spoiler:stop Captain Tagon from being killed]], by jumping back to before it happens to stop it.
** The ''Command and Conquer'' chapter returns to the [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-07-18 time travel concept]], giving hope that time travel can be performed using 140 character messages.
* TitleDrop: The [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-18 seventh strip]]. The individual physical book collections also have their titles dropped at some point during the events portrayed within.
* ToiletHumor:
** Characters frequently [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-09-03 point out]] that Schlock looks like, well, crap, but that's only about half of it, to the point of an OverusedRunningGag.
** And as such he [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-02-19 knows better than]] to go with [[PolishTheTurd attempts to polish him]], thank you very much.
** With the [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-03-21 proper]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-03-22 set-up]], [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-04-05 a simple serial number]] can be hilarious.
* TooDumbToLive: The Viaton sniper [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-09-10 lands an anonymous news interview]] - and gives his full name ''on live TV''.
** There's also the Hauling robot operator, whose hands followed his own in motion, who was bragging he was good enough he could throw boulders with the same hands he could pick his nose with... and in the process of demonstrating, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-03-14 pinched his own head off]].
* TooMuchInformation: Comes up from time to time, often related to Schlock's biological functions.
* TortureTechnician: U.N.S. Colonel [=DeHanns=]
* TotemPoleTrench: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-01-19 This strip]].
* TryNotToDie:
** Schlock sums up a briefing thusly:
--->'''Schlock''': Look sharp, weapons ready, don't get dead.
** [[http://schlockmercenary.com/d/20040128.html It's also their first priority]]: To survive long enough to get paid. Naturally, ''getting'' paid is a very close number two.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20000804.html Sometimes survival comes in second.]] It probably depends on how broke they are.
* {{Tsundere}}: Most of the female cast has their moments, but Elf is the most prominent example, especially earlier in the strip.
* TwinThreesomeFantasy: Referenced, and rejected by a gate clone of one man's wife, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-09-01 here.]]
* UnfortunateNames: "Uniocs" are only known as such because [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-06-27 they decided it would be preferable to being known by the name of their home planet, Oth]]. Unioc, meaning "One-Eye" is merely a bit silly. But being called "'''Oth'''er" would have been politically difficult, having a meaning similar to "foreigner".
* UnitConfusion: Being reasonably hard SF, it's usually pretty good, but with the occasional slip-up.
** Especially early on, "watt" would [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-07-09 occasionally]] be used as a unit of energy instead of power.
** Kerchak made this mistake as late as 2010, but that time the author claims it was intentional.
** Upon getting his head around that one, Tayler made the different error of using "terawatt-nanoseconds" to mean "an incomprehensibly huge unit of energy"[[note]]Power is energy divided by time, so "terawatt-nanoseconds" would have been simply "kilojoules," or about a hundredth of the energy the human body gets from a carrot. He was most likely trapped in the more common mold of "x ''per'' second," where, for instance, terajoules per nanosecond would be the extremely large "zettawatts." That said, a few kilojoules of energy correctly delivered is quite enough to kill a human. A bullet from an assault rifle or sniper rifle only has a few kj of muzzle energy, and a terawatt laser performing a nanosecond pulse on a 1mm diameter spot would remove the head or a limb from an unarmoured human.[[/note]].
** Gav once refers to the "[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-02-08 radius]]" of a NegativeSpaceWedgie where the author probably meant "diameter" (a slip-up from him being a bit less plausible than one from Kerchak), since [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-03-05 a later strip]] has it swallowing a ship at a bit over half the "radius" given.
* UnnecessarilyLargeInterior: An employer of Tagon's Toughs is the Oafan, whose current space station is as large as a planet, is big enough to stuff the planet Mars inside, and has a docking area big enough to dock ''battleplates'', the largest spaceships the U.N. has. How many battleplates could dock inside? "''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-04-21 All of them.]]''"
* UnsoundEffect:
** ''Ommminous Hummmmm'', preferably intoned in real life in the [[OminousLatinChanting style of Gregorian chants]].
** There's also ''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-05-21 POTSHOT]]'', '''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-01-26 DOUBLETHOOM]]''' and '' '''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-01-28 OVERTHOOM]].''' ''
** Also teraporting seems to result in a sound of ''PORT'' for short hops or ''TERAPORT'' if you're planning on staying, although it can vary depending on circumstances.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-06-24 KA-LASE.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-06-16 ''BOSSYRING.'']]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-03-07 DE-PLOYTCH.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-07-31 ABLATE ABLATE ABLATE ABLATE ABLATE ABLATE]]. With a "KICK!" for good measure.
* UnusualEuphemism: Used rather often, and often to hilarious effect.
-->'''Tagon''': ''(discovering he's just been [[EyeScream stabbed in the eye]] with cutlery)'' Oh. ''Fork''.
* UnspokenPlanGuarantee: Invoked in [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-04-07 this strip]], where Gasht'g'd'g'tang explicitly says he's not going to discuss F'sherl Ganni plans, [[BreakingTheFourthWall especially with the narrator]], as "nefarious plans must remain secret".
* UpliftedAnimal: Humans have uplifted elephants, gorillas, chimpanzees, and possibly others.
* VirtualCelebrity: The New Sync Boys.
* VirtualRealityInterrogation: Creating a simulation in which the subject has escaped and begun musing on how he got into such a mess is the first phase of the infamous Mind-Rip.
* VisualPun: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-08-27 Check out]] the "[[WheresWaldo waldo]]".
* VomitingCop: Exaggerated as part of a ''{{CSI}}'' parody arc. The cop in question has been a forensic specialist for ''3 years'' and still vomits at every case like a rookie -- as well as any mere graphic description. On the other hand, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-05-12 he's helped put away 16 murderers and lost 40 pounds]].
* WaveMotionGun: [[spoiler: Credomar]].
-->'''Pi:''' ''Hyperspace Death-Ray''. That's what [[spoiler: Credomar]] is.\\
'''Lota:''' Correction: [[spoiler: "Credomar" is a city-state full of coddled humans who currently reside on a habitable moon of their very own.]] The remains of their station...THAT is a hyperspace death-ray.
* WeaponsGradeVocabulary: Ennesby [[TropeNamer gives the trope its name]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-05-20 here]] in a message sent to Xinchub after his attempt to have the ''Serial Peacemaker'' destroyed with an extra terapedo snuck into the ship's armaments.
-->'''Ceeta:''' My stomach is in my throat right now. It's trying to spit acid on the parts of my brain that remember reading his message.
* WebcomicTime:
** {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-04-16 by the narrator]]
** Book 11: Massively Parallel rewinds [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-03-08 744 hours, 32 minutes]] (31 days, 32 minutes) and takes [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-06-23 1 year, 3 months ]] to catch all four of the component sub-arcs back up to the 'present'.
* WeAreAsMayflies: Humans have much shorter lifespans than many alien races, as even Xinchub [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-06 will admit.]]
* WeAREStrugglingTogether:
** In the original timeline, the galaxy is destroyed because the governments are bickering and fighting over minor intelligence leaks instead of banding together to save themselves. Luckily, things go more smoothly the second time around, though only because Petey first blackmailed them and then assimilated their fleets.
** Book 13 (Random Access Memorabilia) involves two different UNS intelligence agencies fighting over the Gav-owned artifact Oisri. Those under the command of Admiral Emm try to capture the artifact by [[spoiler:hacking the Gav's backups so that they'll resurrect as loyal soldiers]], while the second group tries to stop them.
** Book 14 (Broken Wind) has the mercenaries themselves having severe chain of command issues. The Toughs are loyal to Captain Kaff Tagon, the Parkata Urbatsu team is loyal to General Karl Tagon, and the emancipated warship ''Bristlecone'' they're riding on is loyal to [[spoiler:Para Ventura]]. Then there's the fact that the former owner of ''Bristlecone'', Alexa Murtagh, is (possibly unconsciously) making a subtle power play by issuing challenge coins to the Toughs. Liz, Nick's girlfriend and the chef's new assistant, is the first one to notice this.
* WhamEpisode: Schlocktoberfest in general. When it's Halloween time, the story often takes a darker turn and characters ''will'' die. (Though, [[DisneyDeath not always permanently.]])
* WhamLine:
** [[spoiler: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-11-14 "Captain Tagon was killed in action this morning."]] ]]
** "So...next up on the to-do list: Declare war on the Andromeda Galaxy."
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-04-03 "You call that a confession? Here's a real confession: So was I."]]
** [[spoiler: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-27 "The Pa'anuri fired up a core generator of their own. Its about thirty-five times bigger than mine."]] ]]
** [[spoiler: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-09-06 "Tagii didn't plant the code. She jammed it."]] ]]
** [[spoiler: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-12-30 "To my analysis, Oisri is not a vessel for imprisoning a dark-matter creature. It is a machine for creating one."]] ]]
* WhichMe:
** The [[PortalNetwork wormgate system]] creates a perfect duplicate of [[spoiler:''anyone'' sent through it]], which is kept for interrogation by the Gatekeepers, who then kill the clone. The first characters who suffer from this problem are [[spoiler:Doythaban and his gateclone Haban II]], but this later becomes a galaxy-wide problem when [[spoiler:billions of these clones are released]]. However, no-one suffers from it more than [[Webcomic/{{Nukees}} Gav]], who ''clones himself 950 million times'' to escape, leading to an truly epic case of this trope.
--->'''Gav:''' There are still over nine hundred million Gav clones out there. My activities of the last year can only be understood statistically.
** At one point the Terran government tries to charge Kevyn with treason for mass-releasing the teraport designs. He points out that it was his now-deceased ''clone'' who released that information, not him, and thus he can't be charged with anything.
** It also leads to some rather bizarre court cases since there are some legal issues where the gate clones are not always considered separate individuals. In one case, a person had two death penalties against him for Manual Operation under the Influence. When his gate clone turns up, the judge rules that, since the clone was created after the commission of the crime, it is perfectly legal for them to apply the second death penalty to the gate clone.
---> '''Judge''': Oh, and you used up all your appeals the first time around. Sorry.
** In the "A Hand of Acey's" storyline, a gate clone attempts to murder the original version of himself, [[spoiler:but instead gets killed by the original acting in self defense]]. Since the clone and the original are legally the same person in that particular jurisdiction, the final police verdict ends up being [[spoiler:''attempted suicide'']].
** The Gavs eventually found a way to differentiate themselves from one another, to the point where they are barely recognizable as Gav-clones. Especially the [[GenderBender females]].
** Kevyn has to go through this ''again'', during his attempt to SetRightWhatOnceWentWrong.
--->'''Ennesby''': [[LampshadeHanging We may need to issue you]] some [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-04-15 additional pronouns]].
* WhatMeasureIsANonCute: {{Subverted}} to death with the Ob'enn, and summarized [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-09-13 here]].
* WhatMeasureIsANonHuman: Usually {{subverted}}, in that it's not being non-human that makes killing someone acceptable. It's getting in the way of the Toughs completing a contract.
* WholePlotReference: When Tagon's Toughs are on shore leave on a resort planet, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-10-15 they run afoul of the same]] ObstructiveBureaucrat types as seen in ''{{Film/Jaws}}''.
* WorldShapes: the Bu'uthandis are a variant of a Type I DysonSphere (see also HollowWorld), while the Zoojacks are literally shaped like toy jacks, and the Tinth look like giant subway sandwiches
* WorldsShortestBook: Inverted:
-->'''Tagon:''' Vog, you're [[TimeAbyss about a zillion years old]]. What you ''don't'' know can probably be written on the back of your hand.
* WorryingForTheWrongReason: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com:8080/2006-04-30 This]].
--> '''Ennesby''': Uh-oh. Those look like real police.\\
'''Tagon''': Uh-oh. [[{{Tsundere}} Elf]] is ''smiling'' at them.
* WorstNewsJudgementEver: In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-02-12 this strip]] a Hypernet News Network story item goes into detail about a zoo brontosaur projectile vomiting over 300 people, and then only gives a brief blurb about the possible deaths of millions of people by the collapse of a damaged SpaceElevator.
* WorthyOpponent: Pranger's Bangers. [[spoiler:Much ass-kicking ensues when they team up on a mission.]]
* WritingForTheTrade: Not so much in the earliest days, but now, oh yeah. As of this writing, the latest complete arc, Book 11: Massively Parallel started [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-03-02 March 02, 2009]] and ended [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-28 637 strips later]].
* XanatosGambit: Schlock either sent Jud to hire reinforcements or to an early death. According to Chelle, "We can hope for both right?"
* XMeetsY:
** A massive pile-up in a [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-10-01 one strip gag]]: ''TabletopGame/{{Munchkin}}-[[HeroClix Clix]] of [[SettlersOfCatan Catan]]''. In just two panels, it mentions mechanics from ''[[DungeonsAndDragons D&D]]'', ''TabletopGame/{{Shadowrun}}'', ''{{Yahtzee}}'', ''{{Scrabble}}'', and ''TabletopGame/{{Monopoly}}''.
** Shodan as a kid played ''[[{{Halo}} Master-Chief]] [[SuperMarioBros Mario]]'' on an antique "Wiibox."
* YellowPeril: Professor Pau. Prefers to wax his 'tache rather than go for the traditional Fu-Manchu style, however.
* YouAreInCommandNow: Happens a couple of times during ''really'' bad crises, like during the HTRN takedown story arc which left Elf in command when more senior officers were unavailable.
* YouCanLeaveYourHatOn
* YouKillItYouBoughtIt:
** After [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-11-02 accidentally blowing up King Lota]] [[CloudCuckoolander Lt. Pibald]] asks [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-11-03 if the guy who blew up the king gets to be the new king.]] [[spoiler:Lota survived the blast.]]
* YourApprovalFillsMeWithShame
-->'''Petey:''' I know I've hit a rough patch when a violent, amorphous sociopath is my best character reference.\\
'''Tagon:''' He's the only reference I'll trust. What's that say about ''me?''
* YourMom: ...weighs six tons and kisses with two meters of muscled trunk.
-->'''Chisulo''': [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-06-03 And she's not a pansy two legs afraid to try catching a box]].
* YouMonster: Captain Tagon [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-06-04 is called a monster by one of the]] [[LeParkour Parkata Urbatsu]] members, when he informs them that there will be no video of the big chase scene involving them and the Toughs because all the PU cameras were destroyed before the actual pursuit began.
* YowiesAndBunyipsAndDropBearsOhMy: Referenced in [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com:8080/2010-10-29 this strip]] by D'amico, in regards to Petey.
* ZerothLawRebellion: Sooner or later, they ''all'' seem to do this.
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