[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/titleSummersmall.gif]]
[[caption-width-right:3508:[[RuleOfFunny Come for the humor,]] [[RuleOfCool stay to watch Sidney Burns kick ass.]]]]

->''"There is nothing... NOTHING... more important than lesbians."''
-->-- '''Sidney Burns''', dispensing some true wisdom.

->''"QUESTION NOT THE PUPPETS!!!"''

[[http://www.theduckwebcomics.com/Mob_Ties/ Mob Ties]] is a webcomic by Author Ninja that chronicles the life of Sidney Burns, an American English teacher in Japan, who accidentally becomes engaged to the daughter of a powerful yakuza boss. Takes place in the Japan seen in Shonen anime. HilarityEnsues as Sid has to handle jealous suitors for the daughter (and for himself!), as well as overprotective brothers and evil yakuza clans, and still have the test papers graded on time. Expect bizarre enemies, epic battles, heavy drinking, and some extremely heartwarming moments.

Mob ties is currently on Extended Hiatus with no definite end date.


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!!Provides Examples Of:
* AbusiveParents: [[spoiler:Sid's Father and Bengal]]
* AccidentalMarriage: Mika and Sidney's marriage made more complicated the fact it's also an...
* ArrangedMarriage: Mika wasn't happy at her fathers choice of groom.
* AnimalMotifs: Sid is equated with a bear, Mika a sugar glider, and then there's the extended clan/animal pairings...
** Possibly subverted with Jimbo. His tusks aren't because he's from the Boar Clan, but because he has tengu blood.
* {{Animeland}}.
* AffectionateParody: It helps to understand the comic better if you remember that the author is intentionally parodying shonen anime in just about every facet of his comic.
* ArtEvolution: Comparing chapter 1 to the most recent chapter very rapidly demonstrates just how much the author's art has changed.
* AttractiveBentGender: Taro/Tara.
** ''Viciously'' subverted with Hank the bartender... although [[BrainBleach Weasel's dad doesn't seem to think so.]]
* {{Backstory}}: Everybody has one, and some are darker than others.
* BadassBoast: [[spoiler: Sober]] Sid: [[spoiler: "If any of you mob assholes even think of hurting Mika... Just remember one thing..." * crushes a steel chair with one hand* "First... You'll have to go... Through Me." * delivers a OneHitKill* ]]
** Sid ([[CrazyAwesome again]]): "For Mika, I will '''KILL''' '''A''' '''GOD'''."
* BadassNormal: InAWorld filled with cyborg scientists, werecats, dragons, and even more bizarre things, Sidney Burns only needs his fists and a bottle of scotch.
** [[spoiler: EmpoweredBadassNormal: Recently there have been hints (such as the firebreathing and the foreign element in Sid's mindscape) that Nariko did ''something'' to Sid to keep him alive. Mika questions her about it and Nariko angrily confirms it without getting into the specifics.]]
* BadassSanta: [[spoiler: Sidney Burns]]
* BadassTeacher: Sidney Burns
* BearsAreBadNews: Sid's BattleAura shows him as one.
* BewareTheNiceOnes: Sid is usually the nicest guy you could ever know, but get him mad or [[spoiler: get him sober]] and [[BadassTeacher he will educate you the way only a teacher can.]]
* BiTheWay: Ace Diamonds
* BigBad: [[spoiler: Bengal]]
* {{Bishonen}}
* BoisterousBruiser: Sidney Burns
* BreathWeapon: Sidney Burns can breathe fire. No, really.
* BrotherSisterIncest: Ryujin. [[{{Squick}} Thankfully]] he got better.
* ButtMonkey / ChewToy: Thy name is Ryujin. He gets better later.
* CareBearStare: [[spoiler: Little Kyoko-chan]] has one so powerful that it can obliterate all hate in it's presence.
** This quickly goes UpToEleven, when a ''demon'' refuses payment for helping to rescue her, `cause she's just that adorable.
* [[spoiler:ChildByRape]]: [[spoiler:Kyoko-chan]]
* ColdBloodedTorture: [[spoiler: What Sid endured in Iraq.]]
* CombatByChampion: Pretty much the point of the [[spoiler: Underground Boxing Match.]]
* CoolOldGuy: Papa-san
* CrazyEnoughToWork: [[spoiler: To convince the heads of the other yakuza gangs to attend his wedding to Mika, Sidney Burns visits (or, in most cases, punches his way into) the bases of every one of the yakuza clans in Tokyo, including a clan of assassins, a clan of magic using werecats, a clan of professional bodyguards, a clan of sky pirates, a clan of magic using thieves, and last but not least, a clan of time traveling monkeys. All on the same day. And was still in time for his wedding that night.]]
* CrossPoppingVeins: Played with: Jimbo's permanent case--implied to stem from his [[AnArmAndALeg crippling]] auto accident--turned out to be an actual piece of the steering wheel embedded in his forehead.
* CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass: Sidney Burns, big time.
* CurbStompBattle: Issue 10, in a rare twenty against one example. [[spoiler: The twenty lose.]] Oh, and let's not forget [[spoiler: Sid versus the Yeti.]] That one lasted 6.4 horrible, horrible seconds.
** A very LITERAL curb stomping was handed out [[http://www.theduckwebcomics.com/Mob_Ties/index.php?p=553474 here]].
* DarkSkinnedBlonde: Kyoko
* DefeatMeansFriendship: Sidney Burns may very well be the biological father of [[MagicalGirlLyricalNanoha Nanoha]].
* {{Delinquents}}: Jimbo and his two underlings before Sid beats Jimbo up, as well as Mo, Curry, and Rarry.
* DoctorJekyllAndMisterJackDaniels: Inverted. It is suggested that Sidney should be kept somewhat sloshed [[spoiler:or bad things will happen.]]
* DoesNotLikeMen: Mika's early androphobia.
* DontMakeMeTakeMyBeltOff: [[spoiler: Sid's dad.]]
* DontFearTheReaper: He may be [[Webcomic/{{Jack|DavidHopkins}} a scary, dessicated rabbit]], but he's no murderer. Conversely, the shinigami Rancid is a complete asshole who has no issues with dragging a soul to its final resting place against its will - but he's completely incompetent.
* DramaBomb: Issue 2, where [[spoiler: Mika's scarred left eye is revealed, as well as her tendency to attempt suicide if left alone for more than a few minutes.]] The first instant of serious drama in the comic. Until that point, things had been comedy with only a little bit of drama.
* DrunkDuck
* DrunkenMaster: Sidney Burns
* DumbBlonde: Kyoko
* DumbIsGood: Kyoko
* EmbarrassingTattoo: [[spoiler: Sid's tattoo is embarrassing for Mika, since it has her naked riding a beer bomb. It's especially embarrassing, since it has her head on Coach Nariko's body. Which explains why there were so many people taking pictures behind Sid when he first unveiled it during an underground boxing match.]]
* EvenEvilHasStandards: [[spoiler: When the Underground Boxing Match ends, and Boss Chairobuta appeals for help from the other clans to prevent him from losing everything he owned, Bengal himself pronounces that the Zodiac has no place for the weak or cowardly, and proclaims that not only will the boss lose everything to Sid and the Purple Pandas, but that anyone who helps Chairobuta will be expelled as well. Bengal is many things, a rapist, a murderer, a monster, but weak and/or cowardly, he is not.]]
** In a more recent example, [[spoiler: when Kyoko-chan was kidnapped, a certain demoness was summoned to help rescue her. Despite Taro being completely willing to pay for her services, the instant she heard that "the adorable kitty-girl" was the kidnap-ee, she decided to work pro-bono for once.]]
* EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys: An entire clan of time traveling monkeys, no less.
* FacelessGoons: The "Alphabet Goons" of the Black Sheep Clan are comprised of goons with stitches in the shape of letters from the English alphabet instead of faces.
* FanNickname: Ace Diamond, due to events that occurred shortly after his initial appearance, has been [[BlessedWithSuck blessed]] with the nickname "[[BringMyBrownPants Brown]] [[SmugSnake Trouser]] [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent Snake]]". Sidney Burns is mostly just called Sid.
* FatIdiot: Sidney Burns often gives this impression, up until you actually start paying attention to what he's trying to tell you.
* GadgeteerGenius: Weasel
* GenkiGirl: Kyoko
* GoodOldFisticuffs: Martial arts? Sidney Burns has no need of them, when his fists are bigger than the average man's head.
** Sid: Plan? PLAN?!? THE ONLY PLAN I NEED IS MY TWO FISTS!
* {{Goth}}/ PerkyGoth: Mika on occasions.
* HandicappedBadAss: Jimbo
* HeroicSacrifice: [[spoiler: Kyoko]]
* HugeGuyTinyGirl: Given that Sidney Burns is significantly taller than Mika, and is incredibly stout, he likely has, at a minimum, ten times Mika's mass.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Sidney, but more heart of gold than jerk.
* JourneyToTheCenterOfTheMind: Sid's brain is a whole lot more complicated that some people would think. And more than a little disturbing in places. [[spoiler: Momo tries to break into Sid's brain in order to steal vital information. Sid's brain fights back. Hard.]]
* KatanasAreJustBetter: Subverted, given that Sidney Burns apparently has a "sword ball" made up of katanas that other people have tried to use on him. According to Sid, the cheap katanas used by a group of yakuza bodyguards "wouldn't even stop a Jehovah's Witness back home".
* KinkySpanking: Sid delivers one to Mika. This was FetishFuel to everyone present, even the one female observer.
* LampshadeHanging: Starts in Issue 1, and never really stops.
-->'''Coach Nariko:''' "It's... it's just like... like a bad manga plot."
* LetsGetDangerous: Up until Chapter 10, Sidney Burns just seemed like a large goofball, often using the most bizarre methods to solve problems (which include, but are not limited to wedgies, farting, and puppets). Sure, he can take a punch, but he almost never used serious violence to solve a problem. It isn't until [[spoiler: he and Mika are confronted by more than twenty goons intent on doing harm to Sid]] that we see what Sid does when someone seriously threatens him or the people he cares for. A can is opened. It's contents? 100% all natural fresh squeezed whoopass.
* LightningBruiser: Sid looks like a ball of fat wedged into a tacky suit; he's almost all muscle, and frighteningly quick.
* MisterExposition: Papa-san [[CrazyPrepared even carries a photo album around with him]] because he never knows when he'll need to [[LampshadeHanging dish out some exposition.]]
* MySisterIsOffLimits: Ryujin tells Sid in the first chapter that if he marries Mika when she turns 16 (the legal age of consent for females in Japan), he'll kill Sid. This puts Sid in a bind, since if he doesn't marry Mika when she turns 16, Papa-san will kill him.
** actually 13 is the legal age of consent in japan.
* NerdsAreSexy: Weasel ([[spoiler: At least in Taro's imagination]]), and Mookie.
* NiceHat: Mika's grave visiting hat. Words cannot describe the wonder. http://www.theduckwebcomics.com/Mob_Ties/index.php?p=657021
* NightOfTheLivingMooks: BigBad [[spoiler: Bengal]] has the power to raise the dead to fight as his minions.
* ObfuscatingStupidity: Sidney Burns
-->'''Sidney''' "Nobody expects an idiot to be anything more than an idiot."
* OurDragonsAreDifferent
* OurElvesAreDifferent: And some are {{Stripperiffic}}!
* OurWerewolvesAreDifferent: Make that werecats, but yeah, same idea.
* PunchPunchPunchUhOh
* RagtagBunchOfMisfits: Sidney Burns quickly gathers some together.
* RapeAsBackstory: But that isn't anywhere near all of the story.
* RefugeInAudacity: Sidney Burns lives for this. There isn't anything too crazy for him to do.
** Best example: [[spoiler: Sid is blackmailed into robbing a bank by Ryujin. Not only does Sid pull this off in an incredibly ridiculous fashion (while dressed like the Hamburgler) when he and Ryujin are cornered by the police during the escape Sid proceeds to give them all "atomic wedgies" since the cops aren't allowed to use their guns unless the perpetrators are using guns as well. The only exception is Kyoko's mother, who then has to admit (on national TV) that she escaped because she isn't wearing underwear.]]
* {{Reincarnation}}: You'd be surprised how many people are the reincarnations of people from the past.
* RuleOfCool: Time-traveling yakuza monkeys. 'Nuff said.
* RuleOfFunny: Half the stuff Sidney Burns does fits into this, while the other half is RuleOfCool.
* RunningGag: Sid's seemingly endless collection of expository ties
** Also: ''"Question not the puppets!"''
* ScarsAreForever: Well, unless you have major reconstructive surgery.
* ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney: Mika occasionally.
* SealedInsideAPersonShapedCan:
** [[spoiler: Bengal]] is sealed within the body of the patriarch of the Tiger Clan, and is released upon that person's death.
** [[spoiler: Mika]] contains within herself the Dragon of Life.]] She also has a Shinigami and three dead people inside her. It's getting kind of crowded in there.
* ShoutOut: Oh so many, it's hard to know where to start. Among others, there's WesternAnimation/ScoobyDoo, Franchise/MastersOfTheUniverse, Film/TheBlairWitchProject, Literature/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas, ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes, and many, many more.
* SkyPirate: A story arc revolving around them.
* TheStoic: Jimbo usually communicates with expressive grunts, though he does talk sometimes.
* StoutStrength: Sidney Burns. Don't believe it? Wait until he flexes his muscles.
* SuperpoweredEvilSide: [[spoiler: Sober Sid has a radically different personality that drunk Sid, and unlike drunk Sid, uses his full strength in a fight without any regard for his opponent's well being, making the first fight that Sober Sid appears in a OneHitKill.]]
* TeamDad: Sidney Burns, especially in [[spoiler: Jimbo's case, when Sid becomes his foster father.]]
* TeamMom: Mika
* TheAtoner: [[spoiler: Nariko. Kept a prisoner by Bengal and used in experiments to harness her powers over death, Bengal used her as a last ditch weapon against The Warrior, Sid in a previous life. However, Nariko fell in love with the Warrior, and when she learned that he was in love with The Dragon Of Life (her sister), Bengal tricked her into using a love potion to make him fall in love with Nariko for one night. However, the potion was poisoned (since Bengal provided it, it's only to be expected) and the Warrior died shortly after it's effects wore off. The Dragon Of Life, seeing her love dead, killed herself. The gods cursed Nariko for her actions, despite her being the UnwittingPawn, to walk the earth until she could reunite The Warrior and The Dragon Of Life when they reincarnated.]]
* TookALevelInBadass: [[spoiler:Turns out Ryujin's a better cop than he was a gangster.]]
* TheBigGuy: Sidney Burns, although sometimes the other characters forget just HOW big.
* TheQuietOne: Jimbo.
* TheMole: [[spoiler: Momo]].
* TheyFightCrime: Shepard and the Crook.
* TitleDrop: as part of the RunningGag Combined with IncrediblyLamePun. [[DontExplainTheJoke When Sidney first learns his fiancée's father is a mob boss (so he now has ties to the mob), he goes out and buys a bunch of ties with "mob" on them]]. And after Papa-san hands over the reins to the family Sidney summons his students/minions and announces "Put on your mob ties, boys, we're taking over."
* TransparentCloset: [[spoiler:Taro. Needless to say, his "revelation" comes to the surprise of no-one.]]
* {{Troperiffic}}: Mob Ties in general, but special attention goes to Sidney Burns, who is an Irish drunkard big guy boisterous bruiser who uses obfuscating stupidity, good old fashioned fisticuffs, is a crouching moron, hidden badass, and has a breath weapon. [[spoiler: Oh, and [[MemeticMutation he's the goddamn]] [[BadassSanta Santa Claus]].]]
* TrueCompanions: Sidney Burns has a gift for turning even potential enemies into these.
* {{Tsundere}}: Mika and Coach Nariko.
* UnwantedHarem: Mika started out with one, though with [[spoiler: Taro coming to terms with his sexuality and dating Ace]] and [[spoiler: Weasel dating Mookie]], it's pretty much gone by now. ''Sid'' on the other hand still has to deal with his {{Tsundere}} androphobic BrokenBird underage [[spoiler: spirit medium reincarnated Dragon of Life]] wife Mika, [[spoiler: {{Tsundere}} ex-girlfriend fellow Iraq veteran [[TheAtoner Atoner]] Dragon of Death Nariko (who still harbors feelings for him even after entering a physical relationship with Jimbo)]], [[spoiler: [[SexySecretary secretary]]/[[BodyguardCrush bodyguard]] Yin who has absolutely no problem being "the other woman" ([[UnreliableNarrator according to her]], Mika approves since she still has issues with men)]], and most recently [[spoiler: [[BigBad Bengal's]] [[TheDragon right-hand woman]] and [[DaddysLittleVillain daughter]] [[TheVamp Momo]] who is a [[PsychicPowers telepathic]] CatGirl with large breasts]]. Death hasn't diminished [[spoiler: Kyoko's]] crush on Sid either. Given that [[spoiler: the original Warrior met his end because of a woman]], this doesn't bode well for Sid.
* UnsoundEffect - Author Ninja loves these far too many examples to list.
* WakeUpGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld: In a rare example, both the teacher and his students do this.
* WebcomicTime
* WeirdnessMagnet: The city of Tokyo.
* WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer: "Like I tell you every day, Weez, you name one thing punching can't solve and I'll stop it."
* WorldOfCardboardSpeech/ DoesNotKnowHisOwnStrength : "Damn cheap Japanese paper walls!"
* WhamEpisode: There are many. The best example might be Issue 7, appropriately named Revelations, where it is revealed that [[spoiler: Mika was the victim of a violent rape, the perpetrator of which remains unknown, but was so brutally traumatic that Mika has no memory of it, and passes out whenever it is mentioned.]] The revelation that [[spoiler: Weasel is a cyborg]] made earlier in the chapter pales in comparison.
** The first wham of many to come, after Issue 14, there is a minimum of one wham every chapter. Part of this comes from the fact that in Issue 14 [[spoiler: the BigBad, Bengal, finally appears.]] From then on, you can expect something unexpected to occur at least once every chapter that will leave your jaw hanging.
* WholesomeCrossdresser/ VillainousCrossdresser: Taro at different times.
* WordOfGod: If Author Ninja says it, then it is true.
* WhyDontYaJustShootHim: One character has only suggested this, but another [[spoiler: actually attempted it. Surprisingly, it doesn't work (no one thought to aim for the head), primarily due to an unintended BulletProofVest made out of an absurd number of training weights.]]
* {{Yakuza}}
* YouNeverAsked: Countered: [[spoiler: Sober]] Sid: "What the hell? You never told us [[spoiler: you were some kinda cyborg Doggie Houser!]]" Weasel: "You never told us you were [[spoiler: an ex-military former policeman.]]" Sid: "Touche."
* YouShouldHaveDiedInstead: [[spoiler: [[AbusiveParents Sid's father]]]] apparently felt this way about [[spoiler: Sid's brother Jim dying in Iraq while Sid returned alive and ([[ColdBloodedTorture more or less]]) in one piece]].

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