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->''Maybe you haven't heard... but this is '''my''' show. And it's the kind where [[NobodyCanDie nobody dies]].''
-->-- '''Blitz'''

''[[http://www.kiwiblitz.com Kiwi Blitz]]'' is a {{Webcomic}} by Mary Cagle (known elsewhere on the net as one of a number of variations of "Cube Watermelon"), updated weekly on Fridays, depending on how busy the watermelon is.

The main character is 14-year-old Steffi Frohlich, who under the guise of "Blitz" fights crime in a future UsefulNotes/NewYorkCity using her bird-shaped MiniMecha, Kiwibot. She's assisted in this by her best friend Benzene who acts as MissionControl and later the RobotGirl 42. Of course, that's just what she does during her free time, when she's not busy with her day job as a junior Robot League combatant.

Along with the ill-equipped NYPD, Steffi/Blitz battles masked criminals, rogue military hardware, and most importantly, her own boredom.

Current [[IdiosyncraticEpisodeNaming Tracks]] are, in order...

* 1: [[Music/FatboySlim Weapon of Choice]]
* 2: Omen
* 3: Sneakman
* 4: Phony
* 5: The Warning
* 6: [[VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolution Trip Machine]]
* 7: Coward Mont Blanc
* 8: [[{{Polysics}} I My Me Mine]]
* 9: [[Music/{{Pendulum}} The Vulture]]
* 10: Take Me To The Hospital
* 11: [[Music/DaftPunk Technologic]]
* 12: Panda Hero
* 13: [[BeastieBoys Body Movin]]
* 14: Mess
* 15: [[VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolution Rhythm and Police.]]
* 16: [[VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolution Dynamite Rave.]]
* 17: The Construct

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!!This series provides examples of:

* ActionDad: Chief Bahia proves he can still keep up with the best of them in Track 17. [[spoiler: Heinrich Frohlich also pilots Kiwibot in his daughter's place.]]
* AllergicToRoutine: Steffi, Gear, and even Raccoon seem to be motivated by boredom to some extent.
* AnArmAndALeg: Steffi and Gear suffer this to some extent, since they have prosthetic limbs. [[spoiler:Reed]] becomes a new addition after [[spoiler:Gear cuts his right arm off]].
* AnimalMecha: Kiwibot is a ''kiwi bird'' mecha, hence the title.
** Not to mention the majority of the other mechas we've seen also have animal designs.
* {{Animesque}}: The artist commented on her style on her Twitter account: "Note that that isn't a complaint at all. I enjoy living on the edge of animeish/{{animesque}}/pseud-anime/kinda-anime/ like those Pokémon people".
* ArmsDealer: Steffi reveals that her family's company initially started off as a weapons developer and made huge profits during World War III. Steffi is clearly not very comfortable with this fact.
* ArmyOfLawyers: When Steffi's ClarkKenting utterly fails, Reed tells her that the only reason the Police haven't questioned her and her dad is that the latter "has like fifty lawyers" thanks to being CEO of a big company.
* ArtEvolution: Just compare [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=05 Track One]] to [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=350 Track Sixteen]].
* ArtificialLimbs: Steffi has a robot leg. The strip doesn't make a big deal about it.
** The villainous Gear has both her left arm and left leg replaced by prosthetics. Her right arm looks mechanical, but it's just a gauntlet.
** [[spoiler: Reed gets a robot arm to replace the one Gear cut off.]]
* BadassAdorable: Steffi and the Raccoon. Even more so after the Raccoon's identity is revealed.
-->'''Steffi:''' [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=162 Oh mien gott, aren't you precious!]]
* BadassNormal: [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=192 It seems Ben IS serious.]] He has no powers, and no swiss-army limbs. All he has is taekwondo.
** And that's not even the most shocking thing. He wasn't even at peak performance!
* BadassLongcoat: Benzene wears a pretty badass greatcoat in Track 16, during his own BigDamnHeroes moment. And it suits him very, very well.
* BarehandedBladeBlock: Grabbing a slashing katana by the blade [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=303 works if you're a robot.]]
* BigApplesauce
* BigDamnHeroes: Although Reed is holding his own in the fight, Blitz entering the fight ([[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/comic/page-338/ here]] and on the following page) comes across as this.
* BilingualBonus: Steffi is fluent in German (English is her second language).
* CastOfSnowflakes: The artist works this. Minor characters and even nameless bystanders get unique faces and designs.
* ChekhovsSkill: Early in comic, it's mentioned that Steffi had taken taekwondo lessons. This becomes useful later on when she's forced to fight the Raccoon in hand to hand combat.
** Ditto for [[spoiler: Ben and his encounter with Gear.]]
* ClarkKenting: Averted. The media quickly begins to theorize that Steffi is Blitz, pointing out they physically resemble each other and that Kiwibot is similar to other Frolich mechs.
* {{Cliffhanger}}: Track 8 is relatively uneventful, showing [[spoiler:Blitz and The Raccoon break the Kiwibot out of storage]] with the only real action being the stunning of three people. It ends with [[spoiler:Gear appearing at the exit, ''waiting for them'', saw-arm covered in blood.]]
* ConversationalTroping: Steffi and Gear do this when they meet the first time.
-->Blitz: "So what's your schtick? Do you have a [[DarkAndTroubledPast Dark Past that's driven you mad!?"]]\\
Gear: "Unfortunately, no. [[AllergicToRoutine I'm just here for the same reason you are."]]\\
Blitz: "Oh? [[NotSoDifferent Is this the we're-both-the-same card already?"]]\\
Gear: "Something wrong with that?"\\
Blitz: "Only one thing... that's more of a line for my [[ArchEnemy Arch Rival.]] [[ShadowArchetype And my rival would have a Mech!"]]
* CurseCutShort: [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=30 How the-!? *KERSPLOSION*]]
* DangerouslyGenreSavvy: During his second encounter with Gear, Reed correctly deduces that she would try to escape in the nearest manhole and intercepts her. He even points out that villains like her are painfully predictable.
* DarkerAndEdgier: Cutesy story about teenagers in mechs suddenly turns... [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/kiwiblitz/track-09/track-09-03/ not so cutesy.]]
* DatingCatwoman: Jones accuses Reed of crushing on Blitz. He refutes it though, citing her age as [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/kiwiblitz/track-07/track-07-05/ "fifteen or something."]]
** And the Raccoon may have a crush on Blitz, too.
* DeadpanSnarker: Ben is squaring up to be one of these
* DeathGlare
* EvenEvilHasStandards: It remains to be seen if The Raccoon is really evil, but this thief refuses to use the chain claw while fighting Steffi because it's too deadly.
* EyepatchOfPower: Gear. Pretty literally. As in, it's an eyepatch with an "on/off" symbol on it.
* FanDisservice: Heinrich Frolich in his [[WearingAFlagOnYourHead German-flag-coloured boxers]], as considered {{in-universe}} by Steffi.
* FighterMageThief: [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=273 According to Cube]], Steffi, Ben, and The Raccoon would fit this mold if they were in a fantasy setting.
* FiveRoundsRapid: The police don't have the budget to deal with sufficiently high-tech threats, so they are rather helpless against criminals like Gear, whose cyborg augmentations render her immune to their taser pistols.
* FlatWhat: Delivered by Racoon at the end of Chapter 7.
* {{Foreshadowing}}: [[spoiler:[[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=60 The Raccoon breaks through the window by the girl's bathroom.]] ]]
* ForTheEvulz: Pretty much perfectly describes Gear.
* FreudianTrio: Steffi is the Id, Benzene is the Superego, and 42 is the Ego.
* GenkiGirl: Steffi, when faced with a new mech for her birthday, immediately decides to fight crime in it, and throughout the story seems to dive into situations with relish when she should really be thinking about them. She seems to get the trait from her father, who also exhibits some rather fun-loving tendencies.
* GoodCopBadCop: Flores and Barnes play [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=324 "bad cop/whatever cop"]]... though Flores might just be relieving stress.
* GoshDangItToHeck: Steffi curses in German ("S****ße!") but not English ("Mother effer!"). ...[[PrecisionFStrike For the most part.]]
* GrapplingHookPistol: The Raccoon uses an arm-mounted variation.
* GratuitousGerman: Loads - Even the Kiwibot's OS. Justified as Steffi and her father Heinrich are from Germany (their last name is Frohlich). [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/?p=46 After a relatively long exchange between him and Steffi]], Benzene [[LampshadeHanging lampshades]] it: "[[ThirdPersonPerson Hooray, and Benzene's here too!]] Let's all speak English so he can understand what we're saying!"
* HeadPet: [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/kiwiblitz/track-07/track-07-12/ Winston.]]
* HeroicBystander: Natalie the bankteller gives a valiant try [[{{SubvertedTrope}} but is overpowered.]]
* ICallItVera: Some military robots had a program called ARIS installed that gave soldiers feedback via a female voice, since it was believed it would keep them calm in battle. However, it worked a bit ''too'' well, and many pilots grew dangerously attached to their robots.
* IdiosyncraticEpisodeNaming: The chapters are called "tracks", and every track is named after an electronica song.
* JackOfAllStats: Per WordOfGod, the Kiwibot is "a Midweight mid-range unit. TheMario of mechs."
* JumpedAtTheCall: Steffi ''loves'' being a superhero.
* KnightOfCerebus: Things only seem to get dark when Gear shows up.
* LittleBitBeastly: Some of the "Furries" that frequent the Fuzzy Navel. They got this way through illegal body modifications.
* MatchCut: A few times in Track 4.
* MiniMecha: Kiwibot.
* MistakenForGay: When Steffi asks Ben if he ''likes'' her, he admits he thought she was gay. Steffi is ''not pleased.''
* MissingMom: Steffi's parents are divorced, and her mother has yet to be seen.
** There is a good chance the woman in [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=132 this Christmas page]] is her mom, but you only see the back of her head and there has yet to be any confirmation.
* MissionControl: Benzene.
* TheMole: [[spoiler: Jones]]
* MulticoloredHair: Ben's bangs are lighter than the rest of his hair.
* NoodleIncident: The characters occasionally mention a war that had taken place some time ago that involved the use of military grade mechs.
* NeverHeardThatOneBefore: When Natrix explains that his name is the scientific name for a type of grass snake, Steffi mentions that she just thought it was [[RuleOfCool Matrix with an N.]] Natrix has obviously heard this many times.
* NotSoDifferent: Used by Gear, its use and frequent use by {{the Rival}} are both {{lampshaded}} by Steffi.
* OfficialCouple: Ben and Steffi, as of Track 14.
* OlderThanTheyLook: Steffi is in her ''teens''?
* OhCrap: [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/kiwiblitz/track-09/track-09-19/ And so Ben learns what Steffi's up to.]] His reaction's appropriate.
** Later on, there's his reaction upon learning [[spoiler: that 42 has been compromised and is now under the control of their enemies]]
* OneDegreeOfSeparation: After [[spoiler:Reed has his arm cut off, Steffi recommends him a prosthetic mechanic, Barry.]] Turns out he's the same guy who [[spoiler:makes Gear her weapons.]]
* OneOfUs: Cube has been waiting for this entry to be made.
* [[invoked]]OneTruePairing: [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=209 According to the author,]] Ben and Donuts.
* OutOfFocus: The Kiwibot itself. Despite being the main weapon of the protagonist, it's been out of commission since the end of Track 6, which is now over half the entire comic.
** It's back, as of Track 15, in a minor BigDamnHeroes moment.
* PoliceAreUseless: Thoroughly played with. A flashback shows young Reed Bahia discussing this trope with his mom; [[LampshadeHanging mom explains that it's just used to "make things more interesting for the hero"]]. [[DramaticIrony Reed vows that he'll save everyone when he grows up to be a cop]]... In the present day, costumed villains like The Raccoon operate [[JustifiedTrope solely because the police budget is too low for good cops like Reed to do their job]].
* PrecisionFStrike: [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=133 Benzene is NOT happy.]]
** [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=122 And neither is Reed]].
* {{Punched Across The Room}}: Steffi to the Raccoon.
* PunchClockVillain: The Raccoon is not really evil at all, and even [[spoiler:teams up with Steffi to help her recover Kiwibot]].
* PuppyDogEyes: The Raccoon to Steffi. Brown eyes, lip wibble and ''everything.''
* ReasonableAuthorityFigure: After the first fight, police officers Reed and Cho cover for Steffi rather than arresting her.
* RobotGirl: 42
* SamusIsAGirl: [[spoiler: The Raccoon,]] revealed in Track [[spoiler: 7.]]
* SarcasticDevotee: Cho to Reed; sometimes Benzene to Steffi.
* SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud: When Steffi interrupts The Raccoon from eating a sandwich and making "nomph nom" noises, The Raccoon ends up saying one of them.
* SerratedBladeOfPain: Gear has a retractable serrated shortsword built into her prosthetic arm. She likes to use it on people she finds "Offensively Boring".
* ShoutOut: To ''{{Pokemon}}'', when Steffi comments how Kiwibot's Beak Shot was "not very effective..."
* SpeechBubbleCensoring: [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=295 Well, sh[End of Track] ]]
* StealthHiBye: 42. Lampshaded by Steffi.
* StickyFingers: Again, the Raccoon, who seems to have some kind of actual kleptomania going on. During the Kiwibot heist, The Raccoon grabbed a guard's snack and some paperclips.
* StrangeBedfellows: [[spoiler:Blitz teaming up with the Raccoon to steal her kiwibot back.]]
* SuperHero: Steffi / Blitz.
* SuperheroesWearCapes: Steffi certainly seems to think so.
* SwissArmyWeapon: Gear's entire left arm is one of these.
* ToneShift: See the above entry for DarkerAndEdgier.
* TranslationConvention: Most of the German is left untranslated, but for extended passages it switches to English in angle brackets, just like in ''{{Megatokyo}}''.
* UncannyValley: InUniverse. 42's a rather cute RobotGirl, but it's a little unnerving to see her open her mouth and have a grown man's voice come out. She's even more so when's she turned off. Both Steffi and the author (see the cast page) lampshade this.
** 42's mannerisms, constant smile no matter what the subject, and tendency to show up right behind people gives people the willies. Despite having no combat capabilities and intentionally built to look like a cute RobotGirl, she manages to be vaguely creepy all the time without trying.
** Goes further into it during the confrontation with 35- she backflips ''on her head'' and keeps the same facial expression throughout.
** Used to her advantage [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/comic/page-345/ here]] (spoilers).
* UnskilledButStrong: Gear isn't actually a good fighter; she relies on her mechanical assists and built-in weapons rather than skill. Ben, on the other hand - shorter, lighter, and completely un-augmented - [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=192 throws her to the ground with minimal effort,]] to her shock, thanks to his martial-arts skills... and he isn't even an expert.
* WasItAllALie: When [[spoiler:Jones]] turns out to be a mole working for Alter, their colleague and significant other asks if it was all just a ruse. They answer it was completely unrelated to their criminal dealings.
* WeaponOfChoice: Kiwibot. Also [[MeaningfulName the title]] of the first track.
* WearingAFlagOnYourHead: Heinrich Frohlich wears German-flag-coloured boxers. And Steffi treats it as FanDisservice.
* WellDoneSonGuy: Reed's greatest dream as a child was to be a policeman like his father. It's revealed later that Reed's father is the current police chief.
* WhamEpisode: Track 17, it includes [[spoiler: an attempt to kill multiple police officers, the reveal that Jones is TheMole, the triumphant return of kiwibot (piloted by Heinrich Frohlich no less), Ben's first outing as the hero Donner, and him actually shooting the enemy leader, and lastly, 42 has been compromised.]]
* WhamLine: Several. At the end of Track 7...
--> '''42''': Now you see why I was a bit "confused", since the person you described [[spoiler:[[SamusIsAGirl is not a guy.]]]]
** In the middle of Track 15...
--> '''Cho''': I've been thinking. You're the only one I know of who's had any "contact" with the SWAT. And who just runs off to look for people we're supposed to be meeting?
--> [[spoiler:'''[[TheMole Jones]]''']]: ...I never did like you very much.
** And this bombshell after "Blitz" reveals the above plot twist to [[spoiler:Chief Bahia]]...
--> [[spoiler:'''[[SecretSecretKeeper Chief Bahia]]''']]: Frohlich, you had better not be joking right now.
* WhereDoesHeGetAllThoseWonderfulToys: The Raccoon has a TON of gadgets such as the claw hook, smoke bombs, a taser knuckle, knockout patches, and more. It's quite amazing considering that [[spoiler:she's just a young girl]]. It's implied that all of the gear is supplied by a larger organization.
* YouGottaHaveBlueHair: Aside from Steffi, Announcer Lady has green hair, and Employee Lady has light purple hair, and 42 has purple hair...let's just say a lot of the cast.
** Gear's is a subversion [[spoiler:since it's just a wig.]]
** Also, Steffi's hair is dyed. Flashbacks reveal that her natural hair color is blonde.
** Benzene's hair is actually brown, so his is also dyed.
** Reed's hair is dyed its shade of dark green, since a flashback shows his hair is naturally brown. We can pretty much assume all unnaturally colored hair is dyed, or a wig.
** Being a robot, 42's hair is naturally a wig as well. This trope is thoroughly justified for a large portion of the cast.
* YouJustToldMe: [[http://www.kiwiblitz.com/index.php?id=251 Chandra confirms she's working with Alter.]]
* YoungerThanTheyLook: Steffi mentions that Gear's face is too long for her to be seventeen like she claims.
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