[[quoteright:322:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ghost_eyes.JPG]]
[[caption-width-right:322:She sees dead people]]

->'''Psychiatrist:''' So then there are other people like yourself? People who can see the "un-seeable"?\\
'''Riley:''' Yeah, it's like they're all part of Little Orphan Annie's Secret Society and I finally have the super secret decoder ring... In my brain meats.

'''''Geist Panik''''' is a webcomic by Brian Wilson ([[NamesTheSame not the one]] in the Beach Boys) about a young woman named Riley Hood, who wakes up with amnesia, glowing runes in her oddly-colored eyes, and a tattoo of a unicorn on her butt. She quickly discovers that she can see ghosts and other supernatural creatures and decides to do the only sensible thing: Hunt ghosts down for cash.

When the official method of selling spirits proves to be not-so-lucrative, Riley takes to selling the spirits on craigslist... Which prompts her to receive unwanted attention from a mysterious murderer named Lee John and a life sentence of otherworldly service partnered with a Wendigo and a Goblin.

You can start reading the archives [[http://www.hookiedookiepanic.com/geist/comic.php?ID=1 online]]. '''Warning:''' Has not updated for [[ScheduleSlip quite a while.]] The site's domain also expired recently... which doesn't give much hope of the comic ever being updated again. (As of 9/20/12, the domain is back, but the comic still hasn't been updated. The last news post is dated 10/6/2009.)

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!!''Geist Panic'' provides examples of the following tropes:

* AndIMustScream: Riley's jars. "You wanna see my jar of what I'm sure is infinite horrors?"
* ActionGirl: Riley shows signs of slowly growing into one, while Fiona is an English-accented variant of the most hardcore.
* AffablyEvil: Lee John is perfectly willing to be sociable with people, as long as they're not being difficult. It's only when things might potentially foil his plans that he has to take steps.
* AsLongAsThereIsEvil: The whole point of The Key of Solomon agency. They are the balance against evil. Which is, um, mostly employed by evil.
* AxCrazy: Sevink and Lee John.
* BadassNormal: Riley. She doesn't really have any special abilities beyond [[TheSixthSense seeing dead people]] and she has literally no knowledge of how the supernatural works. Yet in her first engagement with a supernatural entity, she proves to be the deciding factor between her team's annihilation and the capture of the creature.
* BerserkButton: Do not hurt Steve. Aislin will get upset.
* BitPartBadGuys: Ghosts. Most can be defeated by a manufactured jar available for twenty bucks, plus shipping.
* BlackComedy: You know you're reading something dark when [[spoiler:a dead psychiatrist tells the protagonist "No one will ever love you because you're a crazy bitch!"]] Doubly so when it's because [[spoiler:said protagonist is currently sucking him into a containment jar because he's a ghost...]]
* BloodKnight: Sevink is a {{Wendigo}} who gets off on pain... and fights for the privilege of eating any dead bodies he comes across.
* BreakTheCutie: Poor Riley. All she wants to do is survive. Her life sentence is bad. Getting paired with [[BloodKnight Sevink]] qualifies for breakage by itself, let alone the fact she's now fully in on TheMasquerade.
* [[TheCameo Cameos Galore]]: During a scene involving zombies being raised from the grave, characters from several notable webcomics are used to fill the roles of the zombies. These include Greg Dean from ''Real Life Comics'', Tycho from ''Penny Arcade'', Lemmy from ''Fanboys'', Jin Wicked from ''Crap I Drew On My Lunch Break''... Also Ananth from ''Webcomic/JohnnyWander'' (a.k.a. the writer for ''Webcomic/{{Applegeeks}}'') as well as a small ginger zombie who resembles Shelley Winters from ''Webcomic/ScaryGoRound''.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Aislin
* CoolGuns: Riley has a [=SPAS12=] on her apartment wall.
* CoolLoser: Riley has a decent pair of tits, blond hair, blue, er, demonic green eyes, and a very engaging (if sociopathic) sense of humor. Yet she's portrayed as being very down and out at the outset of the story.
* CrazyPrepared: Riley's apartment wall. '''In case of Cliché Emergencies'''. For Witches (wicked), a super-soaker. For vampires or [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking tents]], a wooden stake. For Jesus, a [[DontExplainTheJoke nailgun]], for the Devil, a violin. For [[Series/DoctorWho Daleks]] (or shelves), a Sonic Screwdriver. For [[VideoGame/HalfLife Headcrabs]], a Crowbar. And for [[Film/JurassicPark Raptors]], [[ZombieApocalypse zombies]] or [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg misc]], the aforementioned SPAS-12.
* CursedWithAwesome
** Subverted heavily by a one-shot vampire. He's immortal, yes, but he looks ugly, is obviously no longer human, smells like crap, and his blood acts like an acid unless he wears a heavy, awkward machine at all times. And if he takes a life, big brother will be right there to end him.
** Played straight with Connall. He's a "black shuck", a supernatural dog who's been cursed with Humanthropy. He is excessively happy with this turn of events.
--->'''Connall:''' Oh yeah. They fucked up that curse for sure. Being a dude is friggan sweet! I have opposable thumbs now! [[BreadEggsMilkSquick I can eat Pez, use toilet paper, and shoot people in the frickin face!]] People like you! I ''really'' want to shoot you in the face!
* DarkActionGirl: Fiona, perhaps. Being happy about investigating a sex cult, even if it turns out poorly, does not speak well about her relative morality.
* DeadpanSnarker: Riley, upon Sevink and [[Franchise/FridayThe13th Jason Voorhees]] seeing one another and screaming while brandishing their weapons: "Oh look, they speak the same language."
* DemonicDummy: We're not sure if the puppet Pasuzu was possessing was meant to be realistically portrayed or not, but damned if it didn't match the first half of this trope.
* {{Determinator}}: Go ahead. Tell Sevink he can't kill something.
* TheDragAlong: Riley. She's only where she is because she's got a multiple-life sentence enforced by The Key of Solomon agency.
* EnemyWithin: Computers occasionally get infected by evil spirits because the ethernet cords are next to the soul tubes. [[AndIMustScream An Ipod infinitely looping the Jonas Brothers]] is the only method of solving the problem.
* {{Expy}}: Sevink and Riley were featured prominently in the last arc of ''Hookie Dookie Panic''. Knob [[http://www.hookiedookiepanic.com/comic.php?ID=56 appears briefly]]. Additionally, [[http://www.hookiedookiepanic.com/geist/comic.php?ID=23 Riley's neighbor]] bears a suspiciously familiar haircut to fans of ''Manga/{{Naruto}}''.
* ExtraStrengthMasquerade: Aislin grew a tree through the roof of a packed, multi-level mall. Somehow, this was covered up.
* GirlishPigtails: Riley often features childish hairstyles.
* GoodThingYouCanHeal
** Sevink must eat a lot of human torsos, since his gets blasted apart or impaled every time he goes out. It's also a good thing he has a lot of those shirts.
** Didn't Knob say he's got a life meter equal to the state of California?
* GratuitousGerman: Some ghosts speak it, and the title of the webcomic itself.
* TheHunter: Everyone in the Key of Solomon agency. Supernatural bad? Meet Supernatural {{Badass}}.
* IdiotHero: Riley Hood. Her cliché emergency cupboard does display some GenreSavvy traits, though.
* ImplacableMan: Sevink
* IncrediblyLamePun: Knob calls Sevink's depleted uranium knives Occam's Razors, "because the simplest solution is always stabbing." '''Knob''' is also a '''Goblin''', a pun which Riley notes and makes fun of.
* InformedFlaw: Much is made of Riley's supposed unattractiveness, both by herself and others. Yet she's a reasonably thin blond, blue-eyed (well, green-plus-freaky-runes-eyed) white girl with no noticeable facial deformities. And she still can't find work stripping.
* InvisibleToNormals: The only reason Riley can see spirits is that she was a demon vessel.
* ISeeDeadPeople: Unfortunately, most of them are dicks.
* {{Jerkass}}: Usually Riley and Knob, what with them being crazy.
* KnifeNut: Sevink has a pair called Occam's Razors, because the simplest answer is usually stabbing.
* KnightTemplar: One interpretation of the Key of Solomon agency.
* LatexSpaceSuit: Riley's later outfit.
* TheLegionsOfHell
* LudicrousGibs: Courtesy of Lee John and Pazuzu.
* MonsterClown: Pasuzu
* NonActionGuy: Knob, so far. He lets Sevink do all the heavy lifting.
* OurDemonsAreDifferent: Natch.
* OurVampiresAreDifferent: [[http://www.hookiedookiepanic.com/geist/comic.php?ID=58 And very sad.]] Vampires in this comic take BlessedWithSuck to unbelievable levels, to the point that there's practically no bless in the equation. It's a horrible disease that, without constant runic dialysis filtering your blood, will cause your body to rot and decay, and drive you mad. The victim is pitiably weak, has a horrendous stench, and their skin is turned pitch black (from it constantly necrotising), your hair turns a limp, lifeless grey, and your eyes turn pure red (probably caused by capillaries in the eyes bleeding out). But it's implied that you can live forever with this disease. [[WhoWantsToLiveForever Which is exactly as much fun as it sounds.]]
* PersonOfMassDestruction: Aislin, apparently.
* PoweredByAForsakenChild: Knob's truck is fueled by the blood of orphans. Mind you, the orphans give their blood in exchange for hugs...
* RunningGag: There are a few. Noticeably, Riley's appearance is mocked by various people and Lee John's wish for awesome music while he murders people.
* ScheduleSlip
* SealedEvilInACan: In a jar, actually, which are available for the reasonable price of twenty bucks.
* SdrawkcabName: Sevink
* ShoutOut: The third page has what suspiciously looks like a [[Manga/{{Bleach}} Hollow]].
* TakeThat: "If you wanted to be a sparkly vampire, you could have just rolled around in the glitter aisle at CVS." [[http://www.hookiedookiepanic.com/geist/comic.php?ID=58 Actually, the entire strip is an extended]] TakeThat to ''Twilight''.
* UnfazedEveryman: Riley. Poor girl wakes up to find that she can now see beyond TheMasquerade and there's not anything she can do about it but adapt.
* UnsoundEffect: Practically one in every comic. See the trope page for more info. Notable is Riley's [=SPAS12=], which makes the sound effect... [=SPAS12=].
* WallOfWeapons: [[http://www.hookiedookiepanic.com/geist/comic.php?ID=13 This page]] shows that Riley is prepared for Zombies, Raptors, [[Literature/TheWonderfulWizardOfOz Wicked Witches]], Vampires/Tents, [[Series/DoctorWho Daleks/Shelves]], The Devil, [[VideoGame/HalfLife Headcrabs]], and Jesus. Notably, the weapon for dealing with Jesus is a nailgun, which may be a ShoutOut to the Jay story arc of FLEM Comics. Or it's just noting the fact it's probably quicker and easier to get [[DontExplainTheJoke Jesus back on his cross with a nailgun than with a hammer]].
* WriteWhoYouKnow: Riley. If one ignores all the supernatural stuff.
* WrittenSoundEffect: All over the place. Most notably (and hilariously) with the [[http://www.hookiedookiepanic.com/geist/comic.php?ID=36 Wild Math Device]].

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