[[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com Fontes' Rants]] is a webcomic which primarily illustrates things the author ([[CaptainObvious Fontes]]) finds strange, funny, stupid, or downright infuriating in popular works of anime, comic books and video games, and even things he finds on DeviantArt. It also has cheap laughs from time to time.

Recurring original characters include [[AuthorAvatar Fontes himself]], an unnamed FanGirl, [[TeamPet Tanooki the raccoon]], Fontes' friend Steven Worker, and Takeshi, Fontes' "son" by the [[Manga/DeathNote Life Note]].

Currently [[ScheduleSlip hasn't updated in over a year]].

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!!This work provides examples of:

* AscendedExtra: Luigi knocked out the Playstation Network with a Manga/DeathNote, gave Sony the idea for a rear touchpad, and kicked Franchise/{{Batman}} off a building.
* AssShove: Ever wonder [[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1395917/booting-up-the-booty/ how TMs work]] in Franchise/{{Pokemon}}?
* AuthorAvatar: Fontes appears in the comic with characters such as [[Videogame/KingdomHearts Sora]], {{Naruto}}, and [[ComicBook/XMen Wolverine]].
* BadassNormal: Who climbs faster?
-->'''{{Spiderman}}''': 'Tha hell? Did ya took the elevator, or something?!
-->'''[[Franchise/AssassinsCreed Ezio]]''': Silenzio, ragno! You now owe me fifty dollars.
* BreakingTheFourthWall: Occasionally, but one comic was just Fontes looking at the reader, pointing down, saying "keep scrolling down". Turns out, he actually puts a [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin rant]] under most of the comics, and apparently not many noticed.
* CombatPragmatist: In one of Fontes' many FinalFantasy parodies. On the left, a BlackMage. On the right, a WhiteMage and a Fighter. The black mage starts to cast [[KillItWithFire Firaga]], when the white mage unloads a shotgun into his face.
-->'''Fighter''': Ehm... dude, it was his turn.
-->'''[[TheReveal Fontes]]''': I don't [[PrecisionFStrike fuckin']] care!!!
** Also, using the [[SuperStrength golden gauntlets]] to throw a one ton obelisk at [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Ganondorf's]] head.
* ConcealmentEqualsCover: {{Subverted}}; Fontes avoids Takeshi's gunfire by hiding behind a chair, then notes that Takeshi's guns only shoot "heavily compressed air".
* CoolVsAwesome: [[VideoGame/{{F-Zero}} Captain Falcon]] and ChuckNorris as Franchise/{{Pokemon}} trainers.
-->Hitmonchan uses "Falcon Punch"!
-->Hitmonlee uses "Roundhouse Kick"!
* DidntThinkThisThrough: Fontes decided to use the [[Manga/DeathNote Life Note]] to create an AxCrazy MartyStu character. One broken nose and bout of unconsciousness later;
-->'''Fontes''': ...I really shouldn't have made him able to summon firearms...
* DisproportionateRetribution: Fontes used the Life Note to create [[Anime/{{Pokemon}} Ash Ketchum]] to catch Takeshi, but also used it to make Ash's blood turn to acid afterwards for a slow, agonizing death.
-->'''Fontes:''' ...I really hate him for leaving Charizard behind!
* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything:
-->'''[[SuperMarioGalaxy Luma]]''': Oh, yeah, gimme those starbits! I can't hold it any longer!!!
* FanGirl: No name given (yet), she was in the very first strip obsessing over {{Inuyasha}}.
* GoodOldFisticuffs: Fontes [[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1440114/the-right-weapon-for-the-job/ plays]] [[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim Skyrim]].
* HighlyVisibleNinja:
-->'''Mook''': Stop at once!
-->'''{{Naruto}}''': Hell no! [[VerbalTic Bahleeeve it]]!
-->'''[[Franchise/MetalGear Nearby "Box"]]''': *sigh* ...Rookies...
* HypocriticalHumor:
-->'''[[GuiltyGear Bridget]]''': You look like a queer, ya know?
* ImAHumanitarian: Skyrim [[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1452619/tastes-like-chicken/ again]].
* ImprobableWeaponUser:
-->'''[[KingdomHearts Sora]]''': What?! What's so funny?!
-->'''Fontes''': Just look at that thing!!!
-->'''Sora''': ...? ...Aww, [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] you, [[SquareEnix Square]]!!!
* {{Lampshading}}: Probably the main theme of the comic, actually.
* MundaneUtility: "[[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1297871/colgate-who-needs-that/ Dai Gurren Dental Care]]". Yes.
* PowerGlows, but may not be safe to [[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1330068/the-dark-side-of-the-shins-part-ii/ use as a flashlight.]]
* ThePowerOfCreation: The Life Note grants this to whoever uses it.
* ScheduleSlip: Last updated 12th May, 2012.
* StylisticSuck: How do you make fun of a [[WiiU gaming console with a stupid name]]? With an [[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1216388/dumbest-strip-ever/ equally stupid comic strip.]]
* TeamPet: Tanooki.