[[caption-width-right:300:[-The main protagonists, but not as you know them.-] ]]

''Don't Name It'' is a ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'' {{Fan|Fic}} [[InteractiveComic Adventure]] by [=CalamityCons=], aka @/CalamityJane. Like ''FanFic/RedDeadVirgo'', the series is an AlternateUniverse where all the trolls have different blood colors.

The story begins focused on Red Vriska, on the morning of her sixth Wriggling Day -- and the day where she is supposed to begin playing a game coded by her yellow-blooded friend. While Kanaya wants her to be the first one in, Vriska is wary -- she's [[GenreSavvy seen these sort of cliches before]]. Doesn't help that these annoying humans keep pestering her, insisting she ''must'' ensure she enters the game before anyone else...

Meanwhile, Teal Eridan learns he needs to be at his hive (or at least the remains of it) before anyone can enter the game. Maroon Gamzee starts having visions out of nowhere, which appears to be his game-related power -- so why did it kick in ''before'' he even entered? And Magenta Aradia awakens and learns that the game will give her the chance to have the adventures she always dreamed of...

Can be read at the following places:
* [[http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread.php?42041-Don-t-Name-It-(Once-you-name-it-you-get-attached-to-it.) Thread 1 (Once you name it, you get attached to it)]]
* [[http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread.php?42564-Don-t-Name-It-2-%28Put-that-thing-back-where-it-came-from-or-so-help-me%21%29&p=5626965#post5626965 Thread 2 (Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!)]]
* [[http://mspaforums.com/showthread.php?46024-DNI-3-%28It-s-a-work-in-progress-it-s-gonna-get-better-%29 Thread 3 (It's a work in progress, it's gonna get better.)]]
* [[http://mspfanventures.com/?s=432 Archive mirror.]]

Character profiles and doodles can be found on the author's blog [[http://janedoodles.tumblr.com/tagged/Don%27t_Name_It here]].

[[OrphanedSeries Has officially been discontinued by the author.]]

!!This fanfic has the following tropes:

* AndYourRewardIsClothes: Kanaya's first completed side-quest results in this.
* AntiGravity: Since the human kids hail from TheFuture, anti-gravity technology is ubiquitous, even in places where it makes no sense and isn't the slightest bit helpful.
* AttentionDeficitOohShiny: Indigo Sollux
* AuthorAppeal: The author admits to shoving in whatever she likes into the story, often to [[HilarityEnsues comedic effect]]. Examples include the inclusion of; [[AlternateCharacterInterpretation Daddy Droog]], [[DracoInLeatherPants Non-Antagonist Doc Scratch]], [[GenderFlip female versions of the Midnight Crew]], [[ShipperOnDeck Gamzee <3 Terezi being a thing]], [[Webcomic/BeTheSeaDwellerLowblood Eridan being a hobo]], [[Film/ShortCircuit Jade having an affinity for robots]], the list goes on.
* BetterAsFriends: Aradia and Karkat don't ''quite'' fit into the normal quadrants, as they aren't flushed for one another and don't have the ability to pacify each other as proper moirails should. The closest description they can come up for their relationship is that they're 'like siblings'.
* BewareTheNiceOnes: Blue Tavros may seem easygoing, but provoking his wrath is a very, ''very'' bad thing. [[spoiler:Feferi]] found this out the hard way.
* BigBad: Jade Equius, with Nepeta as his [[TheDragon Dragon]] and Sollux as their pet Subjugglator.
* ButThouMust: Eridan turns down an offer for a guided tour from a consort, and the consort simply drags him along on the tour anyway.
* ClaspYourHandsIfYouDeceive: John Lalonde is in this position the first time he's shown, while [[BreakingTheFourthWall informing the readers]] they can't switch to his POV yet.
* CloudCuckoolander: Teal Eridan. He forgets his own name on two separate occasions, deems soap the best thing he has ever come in contact with in his life, sleepwalks, and on top of all that his Dreamself occasionally trolls and gets trolled by the other characters, confusing everybody even further.
* TheComicallySerious: Azure Nepeta. Much to her displeasure, Sollux is her neighbor, causing her to become his keeper.
* CreepyChild: Indigo Sollux.
* CuteMute: Sollux.
* CutenessOverload: Terezi's reaction to Sollux and Nepeta's interactions.
-->Awww! That's so sweet! It's a waste of valuable time, but IT'S SO SWEET!
* CrypticConversation: The kids are quite good at this.
** Purple Karkat and Magenta Aradia also manage this regularly, thanks to using the horrorterror lingo frequently. Aradia mentions in the narration that they do this delibarately to keep outsiders from understanding.
* DarkMagicalGirl(s): [[spoiler:The Midday Crew.]]
* {{Determinator}}: Eridan may not be a jadeblood, but that doesn't mean he's not going to push on through the blinding, burning sunlight to reach his goal.
* DoggedNiceGuy: In a complete flip from {{Canon}}, Karkat desperately wants to impress Nepeta, who isn't interested.
* DuctTapeForEverything: Purple Karkat breaks out the duct tape after [[EpicFail breaking his game grub]].
* {{Emoticon}}s: Jade Equius prefaces all his messages with various weaponry. A bow and arrow indicate he's casual, a smoking gun indicates he's serious, swords are for threatening tones and pickaxes are for manipulation.
* FanNickname: [[BadassInANiceSuit Suitquius]].
* FigureItOutYourself: While the kids are trying to ensure everything turns out right in the game by contacting the trolls before anything happens, they don't offer much in the way of ''explanations''. John Lalonde is particularly bad about this.
* TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou: Equius is not okay with you trying to control his actions, so he grabs you by the neck and tells you to knock it off.
* GenderFlip: The Midnight Crew's genders are flipped in the Kid's Session, with different abilities, mannerisms, and behaviors.
* GoshDangitToHeck: Perhaps most evident when one ''Homestuck'' catchphrase gets bowdlerized to "Heck flipping yes."
* GrayAndGreyMorality: The war between Prospit and Derse. Prospit fights for the creation of new universes; Derse fights to prevent Sburb from destroying any more planets.
* HiredGuns: Azure Nepeta works for Jade Equius as a mercenary and his right hand woman.
* HomemadeSweaterFromHell: Dr. Scratch gives a truly horrendous one to Dave. [[spoiler:Dave loves it.]]
* HopelessSuitor: Karkat towards Nepeta. She even calls him 'the Suitor', with the implication that she's not interested.
* HowDoIShotWeb: Despite having the kids around to 'help', most of the trolls enter Sgrub with absolutely no idea what's going on or how to accomplish anything.
* IJustWantToBeBadass: Magenta Aradia, but her duties kept her from going on the adventures she craved.
* ImprovisedWeapon: Teal Eridan specializes in this thanks to [[TookALevelInBadass knowing Improvkind]]. He also knows Panickind.
* InSeriesNickname: When trolling, Nepeta goes by 'Athena', from her trolltag athenasCircumstance.
* LazyArtist: Averted. Calamity updates an average of ten times a day, all the images are drawn ''entirely from scratch'', sprites are never used, hives are constantly redrawn consistently, backgrounds are used often, and the only time this actually feels like someone's hobby instead of someone's job is the occasions where she forgets someone's fins or makes a coloring error.
* MundaneLuxury: Having lived as a hobo since the destruction of his hive, Eridan regularly marvels at things like a bar of soap or his dreamself having clothes that aren't riddled with holes.
* TheNicknamer: Nepeta. Vriska is 'the Coward', Karkat 'the Suitor', Terezi 'the Soldier' and so on.
* NoodleIncident: The last time someone tried to change Spade Regnant's mind about something ended in tragedy. And Cheetos. So many Cheetos.
* NumberTwo: Nepeta to Equius.
* OfficialCouple: Brown Terezi[=/=]Maroon Gamzee.
* PassiveAggressiveKombat: Between Kanaya and Vriska.
* ProperlyParanoid: Vriska is very, very paranoid about having any of her secrets discovered, especially her blood color and what lies under her EyepatchOfPower. She's even convinced that there are hidden cameras in her hive, watching her every move.
* PsychicLink: It's mentioned in passing that Karkat and Aradia engage in "chakra semi-makeouts"; Calamity has clarified that this involves touching their foreheads together [[http://ib.skaia.net/post/view/14700 like so]] and then merging their souls.
* [[RealMenWearPink Real Trolls Carry Pink Parasols]]
* RevengeByProxy: After being enraged by some slight, Blue Tavros wrecked the offender's hive and ''killed their lusus''.
* RhymesOnADime: Tavros.
* {{Seer}}: Not only has Maroon Gamzee always been able to see dead wigglers, his title in the game gives him visions of the future before he even enters it!
* ShoutOut
** "Don't name it", "Once you name it, you get attached to it", "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!", and "It's a work in progress; it's gonna get better" are all lines from ''WesternAnimation/MonstersInc''
** Karkat tells Nepeta that everything is proceeding "according to keikaku", then clarifies that "Keikaku means plan" in the Dark Gods' tongue--a reference to a notorious ''Manga/DeathNote'' fansub.
** [[http://mspfanventures.com/?s=432&p=158 The establishing shot]] of the Land of Carve and Rumors features graffiti reading "[[Film/ANewHope Red leader, standing by.]] Fanfic/RedDeadVirgo, standing by," and so on. The entire exchange is a reference to the comments below [[http://ib.skaia.net/post/view/3813 this piece]] of ''Homestuck'' fanart.
*** At least until the website changed its format, erasing all the previous comments. There's new ones though.
** Terezi's lusus is [[Disney/{{Mulan}} Mu Shoo Fuqeen]], a tiny dragon. They also have a very lucky chirpbeast named Ping. And, according to preview art Calamity has posted, Terezi's ancestor was Conscript Huamulan.
** While pestering Dave, Rose is shown playing a tabletop version of ''VideoGame/AngryBirds''. Dave also mentions getting into an old cartoon series [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic about ponies]], leading to the exchange:
-->[[color:lime:'''TG:''' eeyup]]
-->[[color:red:'''TT:''' I just read that in Big [=MacIntosh=]'s voice]]
-->[[color:lime:'''TG:''' that was the point >B)]]
** During Belen's introduction, John mentions that she's been teaching Dave [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender airbending]].
** When John is playing around in the bathtub, the "monster" is named [[WesternAnimation/TeenTitans NOS'YARGCKID]].
** Rose and Sis's introduction is a reference to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLwSmCyL_c0 this]] popular Film Cow video.
* ShrinkingViolet: Aradia.
* SoftGlass: [[RunningGag Nepeta's a big fan of throwing things through windows]]. Up to and including the physical manifestation of any potential flushed feelings she might have for [[spoiler:Indigo Sollux]].
* ThemeNaming: The subtitles of both threads are memorable quotes by [[WesternAnimation/MonstersInc Mike Wazowski.]]
* ThirdPersonPerson: Azure Nepeta retains this quirk, but is terse and matter-of-fact.
* TimeyWimeyBall: All the kids are able to contact the trolls and speak with them before they even enter the game.
* {{Tsundere}}: Nepeta has a big flushcrush on [[spoiler:Sollux]], but is afraid that showing these feelings would be a sign of weakness.
* WhamLine: You once again try to be the Jade Blood. [[spoiler: And fail spectacularly.]]
* {{Woolseyism}}: [[invoked]] Kanaya ''wanted'' to add to Sgrub in this fashion, [[DefiedTrope but her boss vetoed that]], insisting she recreate the game ''exactly'' as it was.
* WritingByTheSeatOfYourPants: What's going to happen next? [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 "I have NO IDEA!"]]