[[quoteright:198:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Untitled_6820.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:198:[[EstablishingSeriesMoment The first strip.]] It pretty much goes downhill from here.]]

->''Ansem Retort: Combining comedy and cancer into a delicious fruity mix.''

''Ansem Retort'' is a BlackComedy SpriteComic wherein characters from the ''Franchise/KingdomHearts'' series move into a RealityTVShowMansion. HilarityEnsues.

It can be found right [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=1 here]].

'''Warning''': ''Ansem Retort'' may be considered offensive to Buddhists, orphans, homeless, fat people, [[BigApplesauce New Yorkers]], midgets, anyone affiliated with RealityTV, Oprah, Dr. Phil, Muslims, Catholics, Mexicans, Dick Cheney, the Republican party, the Green party, the Democratic party, {{God}}, {{Yaoi Fangirl}}s, the 1927 New York Yankees, the Special Olympics, the Jewish, [[Franchise/StarWars Sith]] [[EvenEvilHasStandards Lords]], [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs Jewish Sith Lords]], British royalty, the US military, Jesus, Jimmy Carter, Santa Claus, the victims of Hurricane Katrina, Walt Disney, the population of Florida, the country of Tibet, Keanu Reeves, fans of the movie ''HighSchoolMusical 2'', ComicBook/IronMan, Music/OzzyOsbourne, children whose parents are divorced, New Jersey, the Cable-Satellite Public Affairs Network, gays, pro-life supporters, and pretty much anybody who '''can''' be offended...[[MyFriendsAndZoidberg Oh, and Canada.]]

Yeah, [[CaptainObvious it isn't the nicest of webcomics out there]]. Read at your own risk.

''Ansem Retort'' ended in December 2012. Author Duke had previously said that there would be NoEnding, he'd just stop updating the comic when he was done with it, and that's exactly what happened.

----
!!This comic provides examples of:

* AbortedArc: The whole Roxas trapped in Sora's brain arc with [=DiZ=] and Deus. According to Duke, he has no plans of starting it up again.
** On the other hand, [=DiZ=] just made his first appearance since the storyline was scrapped...
** There was also the thing with Skull-Fucky. The initial Season 7 arc was going to be based around someone looking for it. Then Duke took several months off writing the strip and forgot where he was going with the storyline, so he dropped it in favor of the time travel storyline - taking time to {{Lampshade|Hanging}} it in the process.
** How the comic ended.
* AlternateHistory: Thanks to [[spoiler:Xemnas]]' manipulations, Chicago got destroyed and Canada was the Soviet Union instead of Russia. Riku, Axel, Zexion and Marluxia went back in time and fixed everything.
* AndThereWasMuchRejoicing
-->'''Ansem''': As you all know, the [[spoiler:Kairi]] tragic death-
-->'''Zexion''': Tragic? We had a party, you were invited. You ate the "Hooray [[spoiler:Kairi]]'s Dead" cake.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: One of the current ads lists the vices of the comic: "Drugs. Murder. Politics."
** And Larxene started revolutions in Egypt, Libya... and [=McDonalds=].
* ArtEvolution: A minor example; after seven seasons, Duke ''finally'' uses a [[UsefulNotes/{{Fonts}} font]] that's not the infamous Comic Sans.
** The font was made larger and became easier to read from #328 onwards.
* AsianSpeekeeEngrish: Yuffie can speak proper English, but when she speaks in Engrish people always assume she knows kung fu.
-->'''Sora:''' Please don't kill me, skank version of JackieChan!
* AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence: Axel reaches "Reverse Nirvana" due to his mind being so filled with evil and chaos that he actually attains total inner peace. This makes him an evil Buddhist god with mind bullets and the ability to nuke cities at will.
** And apparantly, the only other person to reach this state was [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater Black Mage]].
* AscendedExtra: Red XIII. And maybe Marluxia, who was DemotedToExtra and later managed to undemote himself.
* AscendedMeme: Riku is a [[Series/DoctorWho Time Lord]] and alcohol is his TARDIS. Axel even lampshades it.
--> TVTropes was actually right about something!
* AttentionDeficitOohShiny: Larxene.
* BackAlleyDoctor: Zexion.
-->'''Zexion:''' ''...Whatever. Just place him in the operating room.''
-->[BeatPanel]
-->'''Zexion:''' '''''THE KITCHEN!''' Just throw his bloody corpse-to-be on the kitchen counter.''
* BackFromTheDead: Matt, the demon Marluxia killed in Season One, returned in Season Two to referee the murder-off. Arguably, Darth Maul as well. It was thought that this was done with Yuffie, [[spoiler:but it turned out she just had an identical twin sister... also named Yuffie.]]
* BatmanGambit: In one arc, Zexion...or should I say [[FanNickname Zexy]]...tries to run for governor. To help him improve his chances, the rest of the cast decide to kill off his competitors, but to avoid being convicted, they instead take advantage of Clouds personal vendetta against Axel, tricking him into going on a murderous rampage and...thanks to strategic planning from Aerith, Axel, Namine, and Larxene...killing the Republican and Democratic parties as planned. However, they also put Zexion's only surviving competitor, Cid, in Cloud's path, causing Axel to appear at the last second and kill Cloud, saving Cid's life, thus marking Zexion and his cabinet as heroes; ergo, improving their chances of winning.
* BigBad: There have been various nemeses, but so far Xemnas appears to be the worst of them. Although depending on how you look at it, Ansem could be the Big Bad behind the main cast.
** Ansem is not really pushing destruction or anything, [[TrueNeutral he just wants ratings and does not care how they get them]]. It could come from Axel gutting Orphans, or the publicity gotten from [[CrossesTheLineTwice buying out the rights to Watchmen]].
* BlackAndGrayMorality: The closest we have to someone who is 'good' is Naminé, and she works for Zexion's administration. Sora's too stupid to know right from wrong. Riku, Kairi [[spoiler:before she got killed]], and maybe Marluxia are more neutral than evil, but everyone else? ...yeah.
* BlackComedyRape: [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=593 This is why Naminé shouldn't drink.]]
* BlackDudeDiesFirst: Parodied. Zexion notes that until the black guy dies first, they can't be killed by werepires. Then Naminé notes there AREN'T any black guys.
* {{Blackmail}}: As it turns out, ''[[spoiler:Naminé]]'' caused Sora's amnesia. Zexion thinks nothing of blackmailing her into shutting up when [[spoiler:she]] gets too preachy with this.
* BlessedWithSuck[=/=]CursedWithAwesome: Riku. Has what [=DiZ=] calls [[spoiler:Time Lord Down's Syndrome, making him retain his face every time he regenerates.]]
* BodyCountCompetition: Played straight with the "[[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=121 Murder-off]]".
* BodyHorror: Every single surgery act Zexion has ever performed. This includes: replacing somebody's lung with the ass of a monkey, creating a heart out of a Hot Pocket and some straws, putting a firecracker in Riku's liver, and ''merging Cid's DNA with oreos just because he could.''
* BrainBleach: [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=557 Naminé would like]] [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=522 to file an order.]]
** [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=288 Make it]] [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=289 a double.]]
** Apparently the cast actually uses pot to keep from going [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=539 batshit insane.]]
* BreakingTheFourthWall: The creator, Duke, frequently does so to make various announcements.
** The characters do it [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=577 here]]. Axel and Zexion take requests for the best way to abuse Riku.
* BreakoutCharacter: Zexion.
* BrickJoke: Zexion mentions [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=537 earlier]] that, if he and Axel fused, [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=551 this would happen.]]
** Seasons ago, someone (Marluxia?) made a mocking comment regarding salvation from a "song and dance routine" by Axel and Zexion. See the reasoning behind the above.
** Likewise, Zexion mentioned [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=260 Soviet Canada]] many seasons ago.
** You thought Zex was just bullshitting about Reagan turning into [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=258 The Incredible Hulk?]] [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=596 Well...]]
** Axel and Zex first mention werepires [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=332 here]], in what seems to be a contrived story. Fast forward a couple seasons, and they're the BigBad of the season.
** See pages [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=11 11]] and [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=541 541]] for a minor one.
** The mother of all brick jokes: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=562 #562]], Naminé notes she thought Riku "had really died there" and he tells her that he ''did'' and it'll make sense once they get to it. Ninety comics later, [[spoiler:it turns out that Riku is a [[Series/DoctorWho Time Lord]] and can regenerate while keeping his face. Riku ''did'' die, but he got better. This was [[ForeShadowing foreshadowed]] all the way back in [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=599 #599]].]] Holy crap.
** In [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=206 #206]], Darth Maul tells Ansem that he tricked Yuna and Girl Rikku into going to the Vatican and trying to dig to the center of the earth. In [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=672 #672]], Yuna and Girl Rikku explain that they were totally in the Vatican and they were totally digging to the center of the earth.
** [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=334 Comic 334]] happens to be very similar to [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=668 comic 668]], even ending on nearly the same line. The author admitted on his Formspring account that this was indeed intentional.
* {{Bridezilla}}: Both averted and used literally. When the cast is preparing for the wedding between Aerith and Axel, the bride is remarkably calm. On the other hand, Bridezilla, a {{Kaiju}} in a wedding dress, has destroyed half of downtown.
* BrownNote: For Cloud, it's "{{O|minousLatinChanting}}ne [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Winged]] [[OneWingedAngel Angel]]". Unfortunately, it's also Axel's ThemeMusicPowerUp.
* ButForMeItWasTuesday: Played with. Axel never planned to get a ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAuto'' game, since the murder, violence, and crime he could do in the game was "shit [he] did last Tuesday!".
** And again:
-->'''Axel:''' Today's Wednesday. I always kill orphans on Wednesday.
* BestialityIsDepraved:
-->'''Sora:''' Where do mermaids come from?
-->'''[[Disney/TheLittleMermaid Ariel]]''': Well, when a man loves a dolphin more than society says he should...
** Also [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=393 This.]] Then again, it's Larxene.
* BlackComedy:
** The number of strips before a burning orphanage is PlayedForLaughs? 0.
** Not to mention the 'Spock Diet' Zexion has Sora on, which consists of DEAD BABY SMOOTHIES!!!
** Goes UpToEleven when Axel feeds Sora [[spoiler: the fetus of his and Aerith's child!]]
* ButtMonkey: Riku in spades. Sometimes it's [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=376 deserved, though.]] Marluxia fills in for him occasionally.
** Sora too, but he forgets about it rather quickly.
** There isn't a single time that the Large Body hasn't been ridiculed/stabbed in his appearances.
* CaliforniaDoubling: Kinda. The Destiny Islands background from Chain of Memories did double duty as Mexico and Hawaii. Same for an Alice In Wonderland background: it was both an unspecified location in Eastern Europe and a hotel room in London.
* {{Calvinball}}: Subverted by the person making the rules ends up ''losing''.
-->'''Zexion:''' What do you mean you lost? You were making up the rules!
-->'''Naminé:''' She played a Monopoly "get out of jail free" card. How am I supposed to beat that?
* CatchPhrase: Because fuck X, that's why
** Also, Because you're X
* [[CantHoldHisLiquor Can't Hold Her Liquor]]: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=593 Naminé.]]
* CharacterizationMarchesOn: Zexion famously started out as a straight man compared to Axel and Marluxia, then became the king of all jerkasses.
** Naminé's TV-watching habit disappeared after the first season.
** Marluxia was originally supposed to be Axel's partner in crime and psychopathy. Then he came down with a severe case of DemotedToExtra. Now he's playing the StraightMan role that was originally intended for Zexion.
* ChekhovsGun: Parodied.
-->'''Naminé''': ''Why did you put a firecracker in his liver?''
-->'''Zexion''': ''I don't know, but it'll probably be really funny later on.''
** Played straight in later comics, where Axel fights a shark, which turns out to [[spoiler:be a werepire's only natural predator.]] AND it's named Chekhov. And then subverted once again, when [[spoiler:the shark suffocates]].
** Subverted when Roxas aka "what Sora could have been" gave Naminé a password to be told to a man in red bandages. When said man in bandages presented himself to Axel, Sora, and Naminé, ''Naminé had flat out forgotten about it''.
-->'''Roxas:''' That's fucking [=DiZ=]! Tell him '13 Points'! That's the fucking password you stupid fucking whore! I need to get the fuck out of here!
** Believe it or not? [[spoiler:That Riku always recovers from serious injuries is one.]] Or would this technically be ChekhovsSkill?
* ChewbaccaDefense: Unintentional example from when [[spoiler:Zexion]] is on trial:
-->'''Sora''': ''I plead the 19th!''
-->'''{{VisualNovel/Phoenix Wright|AceAttorney}}''': ''You plead the right for women to vote?''
-->'''Sora''': ''Am I going to get the death penalty?''
* TheChewToy: Riku.
-->'''Zexion''': ''We trained this [[EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys monkey]] to bite your face off.''
-->'''Riku''': '''''THE MONKEY IS EATING MY FACE!!'''''
* ChristmasSpecial: "And now back to ''[[Franchise/MetalGear Revolver Ocelot's]] [[YetAnotherChristmasCarol Christmas Carol]]''.
* ClicheStorm: {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d in [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=30 this strip]] ([[invoked]]).
* {{Cliffhanger}}: Played straight with the end to season four.
* {{Cloudcuckooland}}: Apparently the story takes place here, seeing as just about everyone in the story besides Naminé is a {{Cloudcuckoolander}}. Zexion, strangely, shows signs of being a former OnlySaneMan gone native, and Aerith went native as we watched.
** Naminé's an interesting case: she started OUT as a Cloudcuckoolander obsessed with Saturday morning cartoons, but is now probably the closest thing we have to a sane person.
* ClusterFBomb: Anything Andrew Jackson says.
* ComingOutStory: Marluxia has one in Season Five. [[EveryoneKnewAlready No one is even]] [[TransparentCloset remotely surprised.]]
* CompanionCube: Larxene's skull, Skull-Fucky.
* ConspiracyTheory: Axel was behind [[spoiler:both Kurt Cobain and Sonny Bono's deaths.]]
* CorruptCorporateExecutive: Ansem and Vexen, hell, anyone in FOX. They secured the rights to Comicbook/{{Watchmen}} ''just'' to remind people how evil they are.
* CouldntFindAPen: When the cast played Pictonary, Axel did his drawing in Riku's blood for kicks.
** Later, one of the messages left for Marluxia appeared to be written in blood, warning of impending doom. Marluxia just complained about everyone writing on the wall and how he has to clean it.
* CountryMatters: So far, there's been one C-bomb dropped in the comic - in response to readers complaining to Duke about the amount of swearing.
* {{Crossover}}: Aside from the source sprites themselves being a crossover (Franchise/KingdomHearts crosses [[DisneyAnimatedCanon Disney]], Franchise/FinalFantasy, and original characters), there have also been crossover {{transplant}} characters with Franchise/ScoobyDoo, VideoGame/TheWorldEndsWithYou, {{Sinistar}}, Franchise/StarWars, Literature/TheBible, {{VisualNovel/Phoenix Wright|AceAttorney}}, Final Fantasies [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII VII]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII VIII]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyIX IX]] and [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX X]], and, of course, VideoGame/KingdomHeartsII.
** And ''Ansem Retort's'' also crossed over with some comic this troper can't remember, when Riku summoned a ghost to try to fix a betting pool, and with AR's affiliate ''Easy Skankin'', though this tends to be more of a fourth wall breaking as the conversations are between Duke and Dingy, the AuthorAvatar for ''Easy Skankin''.
* CrystalDragonJesus: Parodied, ironically enough, by Jesus himself.
-->'''Jesus:''' Franchise/{{BATMAN}} DIED FOR YOUR SINS!
-->[He is joined by Axel and Zexion]
-->'''Everyone:''' Accept Batman as your lord and savior.
* CyanidePill: Zexion carries a bunch of them around in case any his patients [[MercyKill can't be saved and should be spared their suffering]]. Or if they are annoying him. Then Naminé replaced them with Mentos.
* DeadPresidents: So far, UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan turned into the ComicBook/IncredibleHulk to tear down the Berlin Wall, and Axel and Zexion fused into UsefulNotes/AndrewJackson.
* DeadlineNews: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=106 When Larxene nuked Disneyland]].
* DeliberatelyMonochrome: The Roaring Twenties are depicted this way. Our time traveling team shows [[SplashOfColor the only color therein]].
* DemonicInvaders: The first Arc of the series.
* DemotedToExtra: Marluxia was demoted from Season 3 through the first half of Season 6, Darth Maul was demoted as of Season 7.
* DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu: Axel mentions in [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=677 this strip]] that he had won staring contests with Cthulhu. Unfortunately for him, he finds [[Series/JerseyShore Snooki]] (played by [[Disney/TheLittleMermaid Ursula]]) even [[{{Gonk}} worse]].
** StaringDownCthulhu
* DisabilitySuperpower: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=353 Parodied.]]
* DisproportionateRetribution: Darth Maul attacked Marluxia, complete with Force Lightning... all because Marluxia said mango-strawberry was a gay flavor. And then they ''both'' attacked Xemnas when they thought he called them box-openers.
** And one time Aerith attacked an airline pilot just because the in-flight movie was ''TheDevilWearsPrada''. Axel declared it the best honeymoon ever.
** Another example is when Axel and Zexion threw Riku in a volcano, nuking said volcano, tricking Riku into creating mustard gas, and then [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking beating him up with failed retribution ideas]]...because he slapped them. It didn't even matter that the slapping was a ''good'' thing.
* DistractedByTheSexy: Axel accuses Marluxia of being a gay football player. Marluxia can't think of a comeback because he can't stop thinking about Tom Brady's ass. [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=692]]
* DistressedDude: Sora.
* TheDitz: Sora
-->"We'll die, and then come back as the Ghostbusters. And then we'll play soccer!"
-->"I wonder what fire tastes like." (BeatPanel) "Fire tastes like bacon!"
* TheDragon: Ansem to the FOX director (initially), Vexen to Ansem, Larxene [[spoiler:and then Red XIII]] to Xemnas.
* DragonAscendant: Ansem, the Dragon to the FOX director in season one, now a BigBad in his own right.
* DrinkingGame: Invoked. Zexion decides to play one where they drink every time Xemnas says a long-winded exposition...much to Marluxia's confusion.
** Later:
-->'''Xemnas:''' Do you have any idea what will happen should Sora die?
-->'''Axel:''' No...but you could explain what would happen.
-->'''Zexion:''' Okay, boys, drinks at the ready!
* DuctTapeForEverything: What's keeping Riku's body together.
* DudeShesLikeInAComa: Hercules tries to take advantage of Larxene when she's out cold. [[EvenEvilHasStandards Axel is disgusted by this.]]
* DuelingShows: InUniverse example: Season 8 begins with [[spoiler:Ansem Retort competing with the new reality show [[TheWorldEndsWithYou Shibuya]] [[JerseyShore Shore]]]]. Judging by [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=667 this strip]], it seems to be an uphill battle for AR.
* EatsBabies: The 'Spock diet' Zexion and Axel force Sora on.
** They've upgraded to fetuses: specifically, the aborted fetus of Axel and Aerith.
-->'''Zexion:''' You're not leaving until you finish it, you know.
-->'''Axel:''' EAT MY ABORTION!
* EmoTeen: Riku.
--> '''Riku:''' "Crawling in my skin... these wounds they will not... What the? Aww crap. I'm being beaten by giant keys! The only plus side is I have no dignity to lose!"
* EpicFail: Sora debating an owl during the Lieutenant-Gubernatorial debates. About halfway through the debate, Red XIII killed the owl. Sora ''[[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=243 still lost the debate]]''.
* EvenEvilHasStandards: Axel, responding "[[SincerityMode WHAT?]]" when accused of domestic violence?! Yes, it happened - (an EmbarrassingCoverUp moment when Aerith blamed a black eye on him. She really just had a clumsy moment.)
** He's also genuinely disturbed by Skull-Fucky, Larxene's pet ''human skull''.
** [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=409 Zexion may squander his state's finances on blowjobs]], [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=505 but he does not approve of racially insensitive breakfasts.]]
** When Hercules expresses interest in having sexual intercourse with Larxene while she's passed out, [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=705 Axel is disgusted]].
--->'''Hercules''': I like my women like I like my laptop, in sleep mode.
--->'''Axel''': Look you fake-tanned juiced-up sack of shit, even I'm disgusted by you.
* EvilVersusEvil: Just about everyone on any side of any fight is either a complete psychopath, a complete Jerkass, or both.
--> "In metaphor form, it's like a duel between JackTheRipper and [[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler Hitler]]."
** Or in Riku's case, just really really unlucky.
* EyeBeams: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=552 Bitch, I got Lightning-Vision!]]
* FaceHeelTurn: Red XIII, ''twice''. First he turned on the replacement cast, and then he sided with [[spoiler:Xemnas]] over the main cast.
* FacingTheBulletsOneLiner: [[spoiler:Zexion]]: "I'll die as I lived: a complete and utter tool."
* FanGirl: Taken to the extreme with Kairi back in Season 1; supremely ironic considering the actual Kairi's [[DieForOurShip status among actual fangirls.]] Then they [[spoiler:killed her off, because there were only so many jokes that was good for.]]
* FanNickname: Xemnas's is referenced in-universe.
-->'''Larxene:''' Ooh, ooh! Do you know what you get when you mix around the letters?
-->[cut to the Ansem Retort house]
-->'''Marluxia:''' X-E-M-N-A-S. MANSEX?
-->'''Darth Maul:''' You would say that.
* FateWorseThanDeath: Mocked. As it turned out, training the cast had been worse for Jesus than his own crucifixion.
* {{Flanderization}}: Pretty much the entire cast went through this. Sora and Zexion are probably the best examples, as Sora used to be just somewhat stupid and merely had amnesia before becoming completely retarded with short-term, long-term, and short-term memory loss, whereas Zexion was just one {{Jerkass}} in a cast full of them before becoming the absolute king of all jerkasses.
** The memory loss turns out to not be Sora's fault, though. It's ''Naminé'', having been {{flanderiz|ation}}ed into mucking about with his memory far more than in-game.
** Interestingly, CharacterizationMarchesOn seemed to have the opposite effect on Marluxia; over the course of the comic he actually seemed to come ''closer'' to his canon personality.
* {{Foreshadowing}}: Delivered with all the subtlety and grace of a brick to the face [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=146 here]] and [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=384 here]].
* ForTheEvulz: The motivation for easily a majority of the actions on this show is "evil for evil's sake". Axel used this as an arguement for why Zex should finance his wedding: to steal tax dollars just to prove he could.
-->'''Naminé''': ''Why did you put a firecracker in his liver?''
-->'''Zexion''': ''I don't know, but it'll probably be really funny later on.''
* FusionDance: Axel and Zexion - they turn into ''Andrew Jackson''.
* GambitPileup: So far: [[spoiler: Ansem's ''always'' planning something, there's a group of {{Eldritch Abomination}}s that made Sora a demi-god for laughs, it's been revealed that [[VideoGame/TheWorldEndsWithYou Kitaniji]] hired Yuffie to sabotage the show, Aerith pretty much only dated (and then married) Axel to get back at Cloud... and then there's [[MagnificentBastard Zexion]]...]]
* GiantFlyer: Axel insists that he be carried back to America on a "[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX world-killing god whale]]". Sin later returns for a cameo as an airline's mascot, Barry.
* GilliganCut: Several, but the most memorable is probably the one where Aerith claims that during her [[spoiler:bachelorette party]], that she and the other people there intend to "[[UpToEleven out-crazy Axel]]!" Cut to a news reporter with an airplane in the background, along with pictures of Axel and Zexion, saying "We repeat, the hijackers have been identified!"
* GirlOnGirlIsHot
-->'''Zexion:''' Topping our demands for the fourth straight season, more lesbian fanservice.
** Joshua's take on how to deal with Yuna and Girl Rikku's stupid conversations.
--->'''Joshua''': Yeah, I just wear earplugs and hope they start making out with each other.
* GodwinsLawOfTimeTravel: Parodied when Xemnas's manipulations caused the Nazi occult experiments to occur sooner...but he could have saved himself a lot of time and effort by going to the original time in the first place.
* GogglesDoNothing: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=514 This strip.]]
* GroinAttack: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/arcomics/Comic17.PNG Owww.]]
* Guest spot: More like Guest artist of sorts, Some of the sprites used in Ansem Retorts are made by a sprite artist that goes by the nickname Creator/LostDigiGirl, her first appearing sprite was a little girl talking to Jesus in #362 and then Re-appeared in #667 #670 and the gay army ranger in 680,. There have Been Various others and Duke Acknowledges her often. Now includes dancers in #709 at the bottom of the screen.
* HalfHumanHybrid: Cid: Half-human, half-cookie. And Hercules: half centaur, half man. Upper half centaur, lower half man.
* HaveIMentionedIAmGay: Marluxia never done anything gay other then be the butt of the gay jokes.
** He sorta got better in Season 8.
* HeelFaceRevolvingDoor: Larxene will go turncoat on ''anyone'' for drugs/sugar/(invisible)shiny things.
* HeelRealization: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=457 "Wow, we're assholes!"]]
* ICallHimMisterHappy: Zexion calls his dick The Torrent. Axel's? Little Jack the Ripper (and the testicles are Slashy and Stabby)
* IdealizedSex: Parodied. Zexion inquires what a serial rapist skeleton is supposed to rape his victims ''with''.
* [[IAteWhat I Drank What?]]: Axel, after discovering that Chuck E. Cheese doesn't sell tequila.
-->"Ugh-oh. I think I've been drinking bleach for the past hour. Fuck."
* IfIHadANickel:
-->'''Sora''': Man, if I had a nickel every time a roommate commited a crime against humanity...\\
'''Namine''': You would have $7.12.
* IHaveBoobsYouMustObey: In a guest comic Duke did for ''Easy Skankin''', Dingy tried to invoke this to get Duke to do a guest comic for her. Duke points out that her boobs violate the Geneva Convention, and she would have to admit she's lazier than a sprite comic artist. She refuses.
* [[IllGirl Ill Boy]]: Riku. Axel and Zexion infected him with AIDS to make him the poster boy for AIDS Aid.
* IndyPloy: Axel's plan for taking on the FinalBoss of season 1.
-->'''Axel''': ''I've been in a lot of final boss battles, each one more final than the last. All of them involved complicated plans that failed miserably.''
-->'''Axel''': ''So this time, I'm just going to wing it.''
-->'''Marluxia''': ''Coming from you, that fills me with absolute terror.''
* InnerMonologue: "[[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=216 Understand what?]] You just stood in that pose and didn't talk for twenty minutes."
* InsaneTrollLogic: "Well, all your plans seemed to rely on [[spoiler:Sora being alive]], so it seemed like a good idea."
** [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=325 This.]]
--> [=DiZ=]: "Look, there's twisting words around, and then there's being retarded just for the sake of being retarded."
** According to Axel, because the San Fransisco 49ers play in a "gay city" and Marluxia is gay, that proves that Marluxia is a [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=692 gay football player]] (just like Tom Brady).
** Inverted [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=710 here]], when Axel quite logically points out the flaw in a plan (things suffocate in the vacuum of space), and everyone stares at him like he's crazy.
* InsultMisfire: The second panel of [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=473 this]] strip.
* ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne: Played with, due to a misunderstanding.
-->'''Darth Maul:''' Pandora? Is he calling us box openers?
-->'''Marluxia:''' I think he's calling us box openers.
-->'''Darth Maul:''' Let's kick his ass!
* [[RockBottom It Can't Get Any Worse]]: Cue more werepires. [[LampshadeHanging "Oh you dickhead!"]]
* ItRunsOnNonsensoleum: The "it" is time travel. The "nonsensoleum" is alcohol. Somehow, it works.
** [[spoiler: It works because Riku is a JustForFun/TimeLord. The alcohol happens to be his [=TARDIS=].]]
* ItWasHisSled: Parodied. When Darth Maul is watching the show to see if he's the Best Man for the wedding when Marluxia points out that Darth Maul was there in person when they choose the best man and tell him what happened. [[invoked]]
-->'''Darth Maul''': ''Thanks for spoiling it, Jackass! This is just like when we saw [[Franchise/StarWars The Phantom Menace]].''
* {{Jerkass}}: Pretty much the entire main cast, but especially Zexion, who cheerfully [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=501 admits it]].
** He's such a {{jerkass}}, he can use his douchiness to ''defy the laws of physics''.
* JesusWasWayCool: Jesus gets called in by Ansem to train the gang in preparation for their battle with Xemnas and Larxene. He gets along well with everybody, even Axel (!) (Well, he does cure hangovers, ''[[HideousHangoverCure Painlessly!]]'').
* JumpingTheShark: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=647 Parodied/mentioned in this comic.]] [[invoked]]
* KangarooCourt:
--> '''{{VisualNovel/Phoenix Wright|AceAttorney}}:''' OBJECTION!
-->'''Axel:''' GO FUCK YOURSELF!
-->'''Judge:''' Objection overruled; go fuck yourself sustained.
* KilledOffForReal: [[spoiler:Kairi]] was killed by a demon in Season 1, and has managed to stay dead ever since. [[spoiler:Red XIII]] was also killed when [[spoiler:Riku tore off his face]] in Season 7.
** Duke has stated that if [[spoiler:Kairi]] comes back to life, he has officially run out of original story ideas. Given that one story arc featured [[spoiler: Riku, Axel, Zexion and Marluxia going back in time through binge-drinking]], don't expect to see [[spoiler:her]] anytime soon.
* KillItWithFire: Almost quoted verbatim by Zexion when Axel engages in Operation Shoot the Messenger (which consisted of Axel killing everyone that didn't tell him where Larxene was quickly enough).
* LampshadeHanging: Many, including the absolute King of Lampshade Hangings:
-->'''Aerith''': ''I feel like I'm on a bad TV show, which is ironic since I am in a bad TV show.''
* LaserGuidedAmnesia Sora.
** More like [[UpToEleven Laser-Guided Cluster-Bomb]] Amnesia.
* LatinLover: Guillermo del Zexiero lo Marquis
** Also, when Ansem announces that the group is to be personally trained in teamwork by Jesus. No, not a Mexican named Jesus, ''[[JesusWasWayCool Jesus Christ]]''.
-->'''Marluxia''': Aw, but I wanted the hot Latino.
* LeeroyJenkins: He is called "the greatest tactical mind of ours, or any, generation."
* LogicBomb: Aerith pulls one on a fake Sora [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=163 here]].
* LongList: When the house got attacked a second time.
-->'''Employee:''' Yes, our main suspects are: Axel, Larxene, you, Cloud, Zexion, the former FOX president, the guy Zexion turned into a cookie, Darth Maul, God, Derek Jeter, a guy in red bandages, fat people, Axel again, a demon in Sora's head, and the Trix Rabbit.
-->'''Ansem:''' So we're blaming terrorists?
-->'''Employee:''' ''Canadian'' terrorists.
* MacGyvering: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=235 Parodied]]; Zexion makes Riku a new heart out of some bendy straws and a Hot Pocket.
* ManipulativeBastard: Xemnas has pulled two characters to his side, one by promising them drugs ([[spoiler:Larxene]]) and the other by promising to help him find out more about himself ([[spoiler:Red XIII]])
* MeaningfulName: C-SPAN 53X. [[spoiler: Look at it closely]]
* MundaneMadeAwesome: Andrew Jackson talks in bold Old English font.
* MythologyGag:
-->'''Sora:''' I wanna fuse with a talking dog! No, now wait! I wanna fuse with a pantsless duck! Wait, wait...a talking dog AND a pantsless duck!
* MyFriendsAndZoidberg:
--> '''Axel:''' Ladies, Gentleman, Marluxia of the jury...
* NegativeContinuity: Lampshaded [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=644 here]]. Axel sure as fuck doesn't remember the hooded Microsoft guys.
* NoEnding: The strip ended during what seemed to be the climax of Season 8.
* NoFourthWall
-->'''Riku''': My god, [[spoiler:the past has been changed, and only I can tell.]] Ooh! I get my own story arc!
* NoodleImplements: Subverted with LampshadeHanging.
-->'''Zexion''': ''Damn. Well, I've got another plan.''
-->'''Riku''': ''Is this where you list off a bunch of random items that don't make sense until you execute your master plan?''
-->'''Zexion''': ''Uhh, no. All I need is chloroform and a gun. This plan really isn't that complex.''
** Also, [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=441 Darth Maul can hijack a plane with only a comb and a pack of tic-tacs!]]
* NoodleIncident: [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=383 #383]]. Even Axel can't think of a good crazy excuse to explain how the Wii got broken.
-->'''Namine:''' I'm sorry, I don't see why you had to smash the Wii.
-->'''Darth Maul:''' You'll thank me when zombies aren't putting your brains on a delicious tortilla!
* NotSoAboveItAll: Joshua from Shibuya Shore, unfortunately.
-->'''Joshua''': Hey, don't let Hercules get to you. I know you're not actually gay.
-->'''Marluxia''': No, I AM gay. I like having sex with men.
-->'''Joshua''': Oh. Fag.
* NumberOfTheBeast: The exact strip number that Season 7 [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=666 ended on]].
* ObfuscatingStupidity: There '''might''' be [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=395 hope for Sora]] yet. (Key word: Might.)
** Yuffie also does this with her English skills when she first meets people. She does it so she can rob them easier. And it makes people think she knows kung fu.
* OffScreenTeleportation: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=549 The Duet Summon ability]]
* OneSteveLimit: Parodied. While the main cast was in hiding, the show had a substitute cast. One of the cast members was ''also'' named [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX Rikku]] (albeit with an extra K). Darth Maul just called her 'girl Rikku'. By the time she showed back up in Season 8, her actual name was Girl Rikku.
* OneWingedAngel: The song itself is both Cloud's greatest weakness and a ThemeMusicPowerUp for Axel.
** As for the trope itself, Belle becomes a werepire. Since, y'know, she ''is'' one.
* OnlySaneMan: Naminé
** Red XIII to an extent as well. He's still extremely violent, and can't be understood by the rest of the cast, but he's by far the smartest character, and the only people he mauls he either does so to eat them, or if it's Riku.
** [[VideoGame/TheWorldEndsWithYou Joshua]] is quickly proving himself to be this in the rival reality show ''Shibuya Shore''.
* OurWerewolvesAreDifferent: They're actually were''pires''.
* OutOfCharacter: Lampshaded. Naminé flat out says she risks being this to tell Sora that she hates him. [[spoiler: It's not really OOC.]]
* ThePeteBest: Technically speaking, Kairi. In-universe.
* ThePowerOfFriendship: Naminé suggests this and is shot down.
-->'''Kairi''': ''You actually believe that Saturday morning cartoon bull& *$# don't you.''
* ThePresidents: Subverted; UsefulNotes/JimmyCarter is said to have been just a boogeyman made up to scare Republican children.
* PunctuatedForEmphasis: "[[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=291 Madness? THIS! IS! HULA!]]"
* PunctuatedPounding
-->'''Axel''': '''''I! ALREADY! SAID! THE! FUCKING! PUNCH! LINE! YOU! STUPID! PIECE! OF! CRAP!'''''
-->'''Riku''': ''Stop kicking me!''
-->'''Axel''': ''Not unless you apologize for being horribly, horribly injured!''
* PunnyName: "Sho Catoa"
* QuestForIdentity: [[spoiler:The reason Red XIII sides with Xemnas is because he believes that he can learn more about himself that way.]]
** Turns out, [[spoiler:his race was created by Series/{{D|octorWho}}avros specifically to kill {{Time Lord}}s. ]]
* RatingsStunt: This is why Ansem won't give in to Zexion's demand for lesbians: he's saving that for when they need a cheap ratings boost.
* RealityTV
* RealityWarper: Axel. Maybe.
--> '''Naminé:''' ''The sheer force of your insanity actually warps reality! Earth changes to accommodate your insane view of the world!''
--> '''Axel:''' ''Sorry, what? I'm kinda fighting a shark right now.''
** Ansem believes the entire cast has this ability, though he specifically names Axel, Zexion, and Larxene.
* RefugeInAudacity: '''Everything.'''
** A very good example of this is, when asked about recent killings of reality show casts, Axel's alibi is that he was killing other people at those times, so it can't be him. Vexen then uses this as evidence that UsefulNotes/BarackObama is the murderer.
* RickRoll: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=414 Axel got rickrolled]]...by ''Jesus''.
* RippedFromTheHeadlines: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=573 In this strip.]] This gag works better if you remember that New Jersey really has only recently allowed gay marriage.
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: Larxene's [[CallingYourAttacks attack]] is apparently [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=14 "Lighting!"]].
** Looking through the older strips, this sort of thing happens a lot.
* RuleOfFunny: Most of Zexion's surgical procedures, for starters. Oreos, anyone?
** When asked [[spoiler:[[http://www.formspring.me/SpriteDuke/q/229635426040686753 whether Marluxia can now turn into a dragon at will]]]], Duke's reply invoked this trope.
*** Similarly, he's stated that Sora will remember his powers when it's funny for him to do so.
* SarcasmBackfire: Naminé sarcastically apologizes for being boring. Aerith accepts the apology.
* SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud: Larxene, again.
* ScarpiaUltimatum: Subverted. [[spoiler: Sora tries to convince Xemnas to leave the others alone if he goes with him. He's shot down... by ''Marluxia'', of all people, who's been getting more screen time than normal because of Xemnas attacking.]]
* TheScrappy: In-universe, the substitute cast except for Red XIII. Ansem certainly didn't like them, anyway.
* ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem: Naminé made the rules for [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=348 the Card Game against Larxene]]... [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=350 and yet she still lost]].
* SeriousBusiness: According to Marluxia and Darth Maul, smoothie flavors are worth fighting over. With weapons like Dark Side lightning and giant scythes.
* ShaggyDogStory: Season One, arguably. [[spoiler:All that fighting and buildup to get to the FOX president (including a fight with Ansem, someone getting god like powers, and a dragon with a nuke on its back), and the president was beaten with [[AntiClimaxBoss a stab in the back.]] Zexion lampshades this with a 'screw you, we won'.]]
* ShoutOut: Far too many to say them all so let's just go with the most notable ones:
** To Webcomic/EightBitTheater in [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=164 this comic]]. (The guy with the initials BM is Black Mage)
*** Also to Eight Bit Theater in that Fighter's swords and Axel's testicles have the same names (Stabby and Slashy)
** [[Anime/TengenToppaGurrenLagann Who the hell do you think Axel is?]]
** Let's not forget Axel's recent foray into the world of [[Film/TheDarkKnight magic tricks]].
--> Where'd the pencil go? How'd you make it disappear?
** Sora got three in one when he crashed into an emergency room:
-->'''Sora:'''I'm sorry cast of Series/{{House}}'s [[Series/GreysAnatomy Anatomy]]!
-->'''Random passerby:''' You killed [[Series/{{Scrubs}} Zach Braff]]!
** To webcomics ''DominicDeegan'', ''SomethingPositive'', and ''BlueAndBlond'' on the subject of [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=438 cute animal mascots]].
** [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=327 Also, to]] ''BadDudes''.
** Also, Aerith's attempt to introduce Yuffie (whose last name she apparently either can't pronounce or can't remember)
-->This is the friend I was talking about: Yuffie Kisa...[[StreetFighter ChunLi..Ryu.]]
*** [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=473 Turns into a]] RunningGag
--->'''Ansem:''' I wished to welcome Miss Kusa...[[Franchise/MortalKombat LiuKang...Kano.]]
** There was a reference to TWEWY in that last link, [[VideoGame/TheWorldEndsWithYou Director Kitaniji?]] Then again Duke is privy to using TWEWY sprites.
*** Also Sho Minamoto appears as a tour guide in Transylvania under the name of [[PunnyName "Sho Catoa"]]. He is a rapper. His theme is [[MundaneMadeAwesome numbers]].
** '''''WE''''' [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=627 got one!]]
** Anyone who liked HappyGilmore will get a good laugh courtesy of [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=642 Zexion]]
** [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=676 Axel shops for]] [[WebVideo/EpicMealTime bacon and Jack Daniels]].
* ShowWithinAShow: The events in the comic is a Reality TV Show. Several characters have the habit of watching the actual show (making this an example of Type 2).
** Yes, including watching themselves watching the show. On a crystal ball.
-->'''Darth Maul''':That's some parodoxical $#!@ right there!
** And again with Darth Maul watching [[spoiler:[[JerseyShore Shibuya Shore]]]], while the latter's cast (including [[VideoGame/TheWorldEndsWithYou Joshua]]) watches ''them''.
-->'''Joshua''':This some parodoxical shit right here.
* TheSlacker: Darth Maul refused to go to Hawaii because he would rather sit around eating [=HoHos=] and crank calling prostitutes. He has also been known to do nothing but lie on the floor and eat barbecue sauce for 2 consecutive weeks.
** He called Ansem for help because he couldn't be bothered to move four feet to get a remote. That should tell you something.
* SocialServicesDoesNotExist: Actual ages aren't stated, but since Naminé has claimed [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=695 she and Riku are underaged]], and the latter and Sora [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=380 have tested for their drivers' licenses]] (which can be done as early as age 16 in the US), it's the only explanation that those three are even ''on'' the show, much less put up with everything in it.
** And Riku's hinted that his parents never wanted him in the first place.
** Social Services would've intervened the ''minute'' [[spoiler:Kairi]] got killed.
* SomethingCompletelyDifferent: This is the story where '''Andrew Jackson Fucks Shit Up!'''
-->'''Andrew Jackson:''' Some motherfuckers always trying to ice skate uphill!
** Larxene Goes To Places.
* SpannerInTheWorks:
-->'''[=DiZ=]:''' [to Deus] You took the form of a rabbi and laughed at Hitler's paintings! [[IdiotBall YOU FUCKED UP PRETTY BADLY!]]
* SpinOff: Duke just announced that in between Seasons 6 and 7 there will be the mini-series "Andrew Jackson Fucks Shit Up".
** The spinoff has been delayed so as not to overload us with too much Andrew Jackson too soon.
* SplitPersonality: [[spoiler:Aerith]]'s mental disorder.
* SpoofAesop: The moral of Axel and Aerith's bachelor/bachelorette nights?
-->'''Aerith:''' Don't drink and cheat on your murderous fiance.
-->'''Red XIII:''' Bullshit I'm not adorable!
-->'''Larxene:''' I will not name things.
-->'''Darth Maul:''' I can hijack a plane with only a comb and a pack of Tic-Tacs!
* StatingTheSimpleSolution: After messing with the timeline enough to change the date of the Nazi experiments, Red XIII asks why Xemnas didn't just go back to the experiments themselves. [[LampshadeHanging Xemnas concedes that would have been much easier]].
* StraightMan: Naminé, and Aerith's 'normal' personality. Zexion is also capable of this if it abets his efforts in being a {{Jerkass}}. As of Season 7, Marluxia is the gayest StraightMan ever.
* StrawmanPolitical: Done in the same CrossingTheLineTwice style as everything else. Fox News and everyone working for it, especially Vexen [[MeaningfulName O'Hanniducy]], is a CardCarryingVillain.
* StrictlyFormula: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=671 Mocked]].
* SuicideAsComedy: Invoked. Cid confronts Zexion about the surgery that turned him into a cookie, and asks what Zexion has to say for himself. Zex replies that if Cid slit his wrists right then, it'd be "the tastiest suicide EVER."
** There's also the time when Riku demanded to know why Axel and Zexion got him a razor and a noose for his birthday. Their response: "Either you cut the emo crap, or you make good on the suicide promises."
* SureLetsGoWithThat:
--> '''Q:''' So does Riku's Dark Firaga still exist and does it still cause nightmares?
--> '''A:''' Sure, let's go with that.
** Many questions asked on Ben's Formspring account are usually answered this way.
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial:
-->'''Sora:''' No, I'm not trying to summon Creator/BillMurray and the other Film/{{Ghostbusters}}!
** Later averted with Axel, who claimed he wasn't blowing up a city with his mind, only to say:
-->'''Axel:''' [[{{Dissimile}} And by 'not' I mean 'totally am'. And by 'mind' I mean 'penis'.]] [[{{Metaphorgotten}} I think... I don't really know where I'm going with this anymore.]]
* TakeAThirdOption: [[spoiler: Axel has a choice: Stop Xemnas, or save Sora. His choice? [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=602 Well...]]]]
* TakeThat: Numerous, including [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=627 one]] ''[[JustForFun/NotableReferencesToTVTropes aimed right at us.]]''
* TakeThatCritics: Apparently, someone complained about how much [[spoiler:Andrew Jackson]] had been swearing. Duke's response was to have him say, for absolutely no reason, "bitch-ass nigger cunt".
* TalkingToThemself: Besides the obvious [[spoiler:Aerith]], we have Axel's bachelor party, when he and Zexion hijack a plane and are negotiating directly with the governor and his advisors. You know, Governor ''Zexion'' and his top advisor ''Axel''?
* ThereAreNoTherapists: Well, why should there be? Ansem picked the cast members ''because'' they were so fucked up. There ''are'', however, "[[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=223 mental health examinations]]" conducted by a psychic sitting in a crude approximation of a psychiatrist's chair.
* ThereCanBeOnlyOne: Parodied. Season Six started with various reality show casts being murdered, with Ansem Retort being the only one unharmed. Axel's response upon finding out?
-->''"WE'RE THE FUCKING Franchise/{{HIGHLANDER}} OF REALITY TV!"''
** [[spoiler:Unfortunately, their dominance of reality TV is suddenly threatened by [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=666 Shibuya Shore]] as of the end of Season 7.]]
* ThisIsForEmphasisBitch: This is how [[FusionDance Andrew Jackson]] talks.
* ThisIsGonnaSuck: Zex's reaction to [[spoiler:[[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=666 Shibuya Shore]]'s premiere.]]
* ThoseTwoGuys: Darth Maul and Marluxia.
* TimeTravel: Thrice.
** Sinistar was sent back in time by Ansem so he wouldn't bother anyone ever again. He ended up eating the Challenger. The O-ring was a cover story.
** [[spoiler: Xemnas's plan is to take the Original Soul, Sora, back in time. Red XIII, by now Xemnas's [[TheDragon Dragon]], vows to eat Riku's parents in the process]].
** Axel and Zex believe the quickest way to time travel is getting drunk. They recruit Marluxia to drink the gay drinks, [[CaptainObvious because he's gay]].
*** [[spoiler: They were right. So the three of them, and Riku are now drinking through time. (Naminé can't come along because she's a lightweight. And the one time she tried it, [[CrossesTheLineTwice she ended up getting raped by Aladdin...With Zexion making the guy PAY him for the privilege]])]]
* ToMakeALongStoryShort:
-->'''Ansem''': ''Back at {{FOX}}, we had this great idea for the next plot line. It had [[EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys monkeys]] and samurai, crazy stuff. Long story short: big chemical spill.''
* TokenMinority: Darth Maul, the resident Jew of the show.
* TooDumbToLive: Hercules. Apparently, he's a HalfHumanHybrid, with the upper body of a centaur, and the lower body of a man.
* TooSoon: Mocked in-universe.
-->'''Zexion''': ''I'm sorry, was it to soon for a Pearl Harbor joke?! No, no, it's my fault really. It's obvious you people are still recovering from the murder of fucking Lincoln!''
** Arguably [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=509 this]] is an example by the comic itself.
** As was [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=237 this one]].
** Also done with Riku and Naminé's hula contest. Their entry was to the tune of "Rock You Like A Hurricane". The proceeds of the contest go to survivors of Hurricane Katrina.
** And now [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=550 this]]. Duke proudly claims he's first to do so.
** Once again, Duke is ahead of the curve after the latest round of natural disasters [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=616 here]]
** Add another with the death of Osama. [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=634 Fittingly, given the nature of the comic.]]
** Duke did note that doing one on [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=708 The Dark Knight Rises shooting in Colorado]] was one of the toughest comics he ever did, but he still believed in the power of laughter to help heal the pain.
* TrainingMontage: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=123 Including]] [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic Eye Of The Tiger]].
* UnfortunateImplications: Parodied In-Universe. Zexion notes that IHOP's Happy Face Pancake looks like blackface. He responds with "FUCK YOU RACIST PANCAKE!"
* UnholyMatrimony: Axel and Aerith.
* UnresolvedSexualTension: Zexion and Naminé. Disturbingly, since Naminé's a bit young for him. Still, Naminé's well acquainted with Zex's taste in hookers, Zexion takes a break on his way to a sexual encounter [[spoiler:with a werepire]] to inform Naminé of what he's doing, and Naminé is apparently turned on by Zexi..., er, Guillermo del Zexiero lo Marquis' new name... Also, when his cyanide pills were replaced with mentos, he immediately knew it was she who did it. Oh, about Zex's taste in hookers - he likes them "blonde, stupid, and not dead inside yet". Naminé meets 2 of the 3. One could even infer that the only reason Zexion does not get with Naminé out right is because she's too smart for him.
** They claim to hate each other, but they interact often and even call each other in times of crisis. Mainly because they're both a little more intelligent than the others (Zex ''chooses'' to be a crazy jackass). She even introduced him to her date for [[spoiler: Axel's wedding]]. [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=449 Not that it went anywhere...]]
** As of Ansem Retort #625, Namine even has "Zexion senses". However, [[spoiler: that doesn't necessarily mean she'll actually DO anything about him needing her help.]]
** As of comic [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=700 700]], [[spoiler: this seems to be canon on Naminé's part]].
*** [[spoiler:[[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=701 Resolved.]]]]
-->'''Zexion:''' Shit's about to get freaky.
* UnsoundEffect: {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=49 here]]
** Played straight [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=344 here]]
** Don't forget [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=494 this one.]]
* VerbalTic: See the ThisIsForEmphasisBitch example above.
* ViewersAreMorons: To quote Duke: "Gotta love April Fools Day. Not that that's going to stop any of you from e-mailing me about [[http://ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=587 this comic]] thinking it's real."
* VillainProtagonist: Oh yes.
* WhamLine: Red XIII when talking to Xemnas about Riku.
--> '''Red XIII''': What do you mean, [[spoiler: I already ate his parents?]]
** Strip 700 gives another.
--> '''Zexion''': [[LargeHam Everything you love will have my dick in it!]]
--> ''[{{Beat}}]''.
--> '''Namine''': [[spoiler:I love myself.]]
* WhatCliffhanger: Parodied [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=320 here]].
* WhereTheHellIsSpringfield: It wasn't until Season Six that we learned that Ansem Retort takes place in Pennsylvania. Zexion didn't even know... and he's the ''governor'' of it.
** RealLifeWritesThePlot: Around the time that comic was released, Duke revealed on the site that he had always planned to set Ansem Retort in wherever he went to college at.
* WonderTwinPowers: Played with [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=23 here.]]
* WorthIt: [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=286 Here.]] Of course, this was shortly after Riku was shown to be getting stabbed in his ''own'' daydream, so you could argue that being hanged with a lei is a bonus for him.
* WouldHitAGirl: To the surprise of absolutely no one, [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=703 Axel]].
* YouCanKeepHer: Played with. [[spoiler: When Belle tried to extract a ransom from Zexion to let Larxene go, Zexion refused and listed ''his'' demands to take Larxene off her hands. Cut to a week later, and Belle is giving in.]]
** Exaggerated later, when Xemnas takes Sora hostage. Axel corners them, and Xemnas asks how Axel is going to stop him and save Sora. Axel says he's okay with one of two, and throws his own chakram at Sora.
* YouKeepUsingThatWord: Early on Axel complains about Marluxia's "feminism."
* YourHeadAsplode:
-->'''Fox Action News reporter;''' ''I'm outside Jericho, New York, where the entire population has just died from contagious head explosion. Odds are though, they deserved it.''
** And another time:
--> '''Lulu:''' You totally deserve having your head explode for dissing Film/TheGodfather.
* YourMom: Aerith called the 'you're a towel' strategy [[http://www.ansemretort.org/ansemretort/index.html?comic=252 the rich man's 'your mom' joke.]]
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