[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/nullmetal_alchemist.png]]
->''"What is going on?\\
I don't have the slightest clue!\\
I just slapped [[Creator/HiromuArakawa a cow]]!"''\\
--'''Haiku-Style Theme Song''' (summing up the show with quirky animation to boot)

''Nullmetal Alchemist'' is an AbridgedSeries based on ''Anime/FullmetalAlchemist2003''. Created by Faulerro, the anime is deliberately mimicking the surrealist humor used by fellow abridger [[https://www.youtube.com/user/purpleeyeswtf Purpleeyeswtf]] (see ''WebVideo/NonePiece'' and ''WebVideo/CodeMENT''). Faulerro's channel and the whole series were repeatedly taken down from [=YouTube=] after Sony filed copyright claims on the series - although the series was re-uploaded and compiled in [[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLagX-LeD8zSMzsuMJThgC7w6TyCFRwbmj this playlist,]] as of July 2023, that playlist has also been taken down with no replacement.

There is an unrelated ''WebVideo/FullmetalAlchemistBrotherhoodAbridged''.
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!!Tropes:

* AdaptationalNationality: The Elrics and the Rockbells are British here, which probably wouldn't be too noteworthy (seeing as Faulerro himself is British) if not for the fact that most of the other characters aren't. [[spoiler:Envy and Sloth also being British was likely meant to be foreshadowing]].
* AffablyEvil: Barry the Chopper. He's fine with joking around with his name, and answering Ed's question; tying Ed up is as hostile to him as he gets. He even asks if they still can't be friends, despite wanting to chop him up. Predictably, they find common ground, as a butcher and nightmare fetishist, respectively, which they have a heart-to-heart talk about.
** Frankly, he's nicer to Ed than the military. Well, except for the part where he stabs Ed. He's still a serial killer, after all.
** Lampshaded by Ed, after he and Winry are freed.
--->"Nice bloke, though, if you look past all the mutilation, I mean."
** As of episode 11, possibly Scar, who seems to use the word "Friends" in place of "Victim".
--> "Time to go make some more friends."
* AgentPeacock: Mustang. Envy, even moreso.
* AlchemyIsMagic: Lampshaded to hell. Ed's insistent on it being called "magic" instead of alchemy and being a "magician" than an alchemist. However, one of the reasons he does this is [[spoiler:[[TearJerker his mom asked him to call it magic because "alchemy sounds too pretentious."]]]]
* AmbiguousGender: The police need to have Edward's genitals examined before they decide he's a boy. [[TooDumbToLive And not a tall busty female cat burglar]].
* AmbiguouslyGay: Mustang is an ''incredibly'' flamboyant person, but the jury's out on what exactly his sexuality is. Either way he's AlwaysCamp. Faulerro [[http://faulerro.tumblr.com/post/48667226488/what-is-nma-roys-true-sexual-orientation answered a question about Roy's orientation on his tumblr]]: "If you asked him, he’d probably say 'SEXUAL' and leave it at that," seeming to suggest that Roy, at least, considers his orientation to be "anything goes".
* AnnoyingYoungerSibling: How Ed feels about Al, he only brought him back because Al couldn't be his servant if he wasn't there.
* BigBrotherBully: Both Ed and Russel. Alphonse and Flecter bond over the various abuses and shenanigans that their respective siblings put them through.
* BigBrotherInstinct: Ed's reaction when he finds out what Tucker did to Nina.
* TheBrute: Gluttony.
* TheCaligula: King Bradley. Creates a mandatory national holiday specifically to [[PoliticallyIncorrectVillain make fun of Mexicans]], and later grants Edward an alchemy license just for sitting in a chair. He also decreed the death penalty for anyone wearing green in what is widely remembered as the worst St. Patrick's Day ever and likes to spend Alchemist's Christmas stabbing people if they don't enjoy themselves... [[MortonsFork or even if they do]].
* CatchPhrase: Nullmetal's "BIGGITY BAM!" and Dr. Marcoh has a habit of replying to people saying his name with "Polo ([[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Motherfucker]])", referencing the historical Marco Polo.
** Don't forget Edward's "Nipples Scrotums!!!"
* CharacterizationMarchesOn: Falman was introduced as an ExtremeDoormat but future appearances have had him as TheSpock, with Fury picking up his doormat status.
** Scar appeared to be an ambiguously innocent PsychopathicManChild in his first two appearances, but in episode 14 he's a cold, skilled FauxAffablyEvil and rather scary psychopath.
* ChristmasEpisode: Alchemists' Christmas (2011), Winterrorism (2012)
* CloudCuckoolander: ''Many'', and in tiers, no less. Bradley sits at the top, followed closely by Maes Hughes and Barry. Roy Mustang is a few rungs beneath, and Ed only a little ways below that. Only Riza and Al [[OnlySaneMan qualify as sane]].
** Al's sanity seems to disappear when in CutenessProximity mode with his cat. Hughes demonstrates a little more sanity than Mustang on occasion. Meanwhile, Scar seems to have [[SanitySlippage slipped from]] MikeNelsonDestroyerOfWorlds to AffablyEvil.
* {{Crossover}}: Had one with ''WebVideo/CodeMENT'' in "The Pursuit of Happiness."
* DeathByAdaptation: [[spoiler: Psiren, instead of being encased in the giant hand Edward summons up like in the anime, Ed instead crushes her to death, much to Al's dismay.]]
* DeceasedParentsAreTheBest: Like in the source material, Trisha was a pretty good mom before her death of [[LazyBum lazy malaria]].
* EarlyBirdCameo: Envy in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Low-xOrMcZM Homunculus Tales]].
** In episode 11, during his fight with Mustang, Ed recalled some advice from Mrs. Curtis.
* ExpressDelivery: Gracia didn't even realize she was pregnant.
* {{Expy}}: [[FillerVillain Psiren]] is a ClassyCatBurglar with a literal cat-theme. Naturally, the [[ComicBook/{{Catwoman}} obvious comparison is made]].
--> '''[[ExpositoryThemeTune Intro Song]]''': ''She's like [[Film/TheDarkKnightRises Anne Hathaway]] crossed with [[Film/BatmanReturns Michelle Pfeiffer]].''
** Lust sounds kind of like [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Patty and/or Selma Bouvier]].
* {{Foreshadowing}}: Shou Tucker isn't the least bit subtle about his plans for Nina. He later even lampshades how obvious the buildup was.
** [[spoiler: ''Surely'' Faurlerro's using his native British accent for Envy was a random stylistic choice! Even though he's quite the convincing FakeAmerican for all his other non-Elric voices.]]
** [[spoiler:Trisha Elric dies from [[LazyBum "Lazy Malaria"]], which manifests in her quietly commenting that she's dying because she just doesn't feel like living anymore. This seemingly foreshadows her resurrection as the Homunculus ''Sloth'' (AKA, "laziness")]].
* GilliganCut: In Episode 3, after Ed finds out that Winry found out that her parents are dead.
-->'''Ed:''' And I'm just glad that nothing like this is ever going to happen to our mother. Ever. Eeeve-
-->'''Ed:''' Mother! What's happened to you?!
* HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday: When Edward Lampshades Mustang's AmbiguouslyGay tendencies.
--> '''Mustang''': ...wait, where'd you get that idea? [...] I mean, [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday I've had sex with lots of women, Nullmetal. I dunno if you've noticed but it's happened.]] [...] [[BlatantLies Last night! I saw her boobs and everything!]] Didn't I see her boobs, Second Lieutenant?
--> '''Hawkeye''': I wasn't there, sir.
* HypocriticalHumor: Gluttony calls one of the guys he's about to eat "Tons of Fun" (a common insult directed at overweight people). Given how fat Gluttony is, you'd think he'd acknowledge the hypocrisy.
* IfYouKillHimYouWillBeJustLikeHim: Shou Tucker tries this on Edward. [[ShutUpHannibal To no effect]].
* ImAHumanitarian: After seeing Cornello perform miracles, Edward is impressed by his magic...
-->'''Ed:''' Which is why I must ''eat him''!
** He also threatens to eat Shou Tucker. Although he was actually kind of justified in that case.
** And everyone in the song "EDWARD ELRIC YO". So yeah, Edward's a cannibal.
** Gluttony also qualifies, though that should be obvious.
-->'''Lust:''' He sure knows how to eat a person.
-->'''Envy:''' That he most certainly does.
* IncrediblyLamePun:
** [[WrenchWench Winry]] is ecstatic when she sees Barry's refrigerated van, leading to this line.
--> '''Winry''': Ahh, would you feel that refrigeration unit doing it's thing? ...This is divine! [[StuffedInAFridge I just want to be inside it]]!
** Lampshaded a few lines later by Barry.
--> '''Barry''': Now, I know what you're thinking: my truck ''is'' pretty hot, but you're wrong! It's cold as crap in there. See, that guy's gonna freeze his balls off.
--> '''Winry''': [[{{Squee}} Can I?!]]
--> '''Barry''': [[FridgeBrilliance You already have]]. [[ThatCameOutWrong I- I mean sure. Go ahead.]]
** In episode 11, after Ed tears Mustang's glove and uses his magic to create a cannon.
--> You're as good as defeated Musty. And you know what? It's [[{{canon}} cannon]].
* InsistentTerminology: Ed insists on calling alchemy "magic" in spite of Al calling it alchemy.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: While the emphasis is much heavier on the "Jerk" part in this version, Ed still has his share of good qualities.
* LackOfEmpathy: Envy.
-->'''Envy''': What ''is'' it with humans and guilt, anyway? I just don't get that concept.
* LargeHam: Roy Mustang. Of course.
* LastRequest: On her deathbed from lazy malaria, Ed's mother asked him to not call it alchemy as it sounded pretentious.
* LazyBum: Trisha dies of a disease called "lazy malaria", which makes her into such a lazy bum that she dies because she just ''doesn't feel like living anymore''. [[spoiler:Given the fact that Trisha is later resurrected as the Homunculus Sloth (which basically means laziness), this might also be foreshadowing]].
* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: Ed's lengthy gushing about Barry's "mutilations." Barry is guest-voiced by [=PurpleEyesWTF=], creator of the abridged series-es that inspired this one.
* LetsGetDangerous: The start of ep. 4, when Ed must face Majhal:
-->'''Ed:''' ...Al, get my top hat.
-->'''Al:''' But you don't have a top hat.
-->'''Ed:''' Then I'll ''make'' one!
-->''Claps hands together, tiny top hat appears''
-->'''Ed:''' Magic just got real!
-->''Cue Dramatic Chord''
** Edward absolutely ''[[UnstoppableRage loses it]]'' after Shou creates a chimera with Nina and Alexander.
** In episode 12, when Marcoh responds to Scar's shout of "Marcoh?" with "Polo, [[PrecisionFStrike MOTHERFUCKER]]!"
* MagicByAnyOtherName: Ed constantly calls Alchemy "Magic" [[spoiler:due to his mother telling him not to call it Alchemy because it sounds pretentious just before she died.]]
* MikeNelsonDestroyerOfWorlds: ''Scar'', of all people.
--> '''Scar:''' [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone Oh god]]... [[PersonOfMassDestruction This is why]] [[PowerIncontinence I can't have nice things]]!
* NightmareFetishist: Edward shows signs of being this at times.
-->'''Ed:''' (''upon seeing his revived mother's hideous face'') Mom? Oh my God... you're ''beautiful''!
** And later on, after hearing Al's justification for staying a suit of armor (to be attractive to Winry):
-->'''Ed:''' That's fucked up. (''beat'') I like it.
** Though he [[EvenEvilHasStandards draws the line]] with Shou Tucker. Then again, [[MoralEventHorizon who wouldn't]]?
** As of Episode 7, Ed as admitted that the grotesque fascinates him. Al outright calls him a nightmare fetishist.
* NoSympathy: Ed shows little sympathy for Winry after the death of her parents.
-->'''Ed:''' It all started when our friend Winry got upset for no reason other than her period.
** Although Winry returns the favor after the whole human transmutation thing.
-->'''Winry:''' (''after Ed and Al return from being mutilated'') You're both retarded.
* OnlySaneMan: Both Al and Riza have found they relate to each other.
** Occasionally Edward, when he's not threatening to eat Father Cornello or going in psychotic rants.
** Roy Mustang - at least, in comparison to [[TheCaligula Fuhrer Bradley]] and Maes Hughes.
** Essentially, it's a {{Cloudcuckooland}} with everyone's sanity varying on different subjects and in comparison to each other. Best exemplified in episode 11, when Roy and Ed are sane to Bradley, Ed is sane to Roy when his anger isn't in the way, Hughes is the sane man to their fight (while also shipping them), and Al's sanity flies out the window once he gets his hands on a cat. And Riza's sane to everyone.
** Riza and Marcoh are so far the only characters who are not clearly insane.
* PoliceAreUseless: ''Oh yes''. Not only do they confuse a 15-year-old with an adult woman ''twice his height'', but they're utterly baffled by the use of [[AlchemyIsMagic magic]]. In a setting where said magic is basically public knowledge. [[FlatWhat What]].
%%* RapidFireComedy
* ReferenceOverdosed: Weaponized. Ed specializes in contextually-insensitive magic. He defeats his enemies by distracting them with sudden cutaways to out-of-context clips of other anime.
* SeenItAll: The Elric brothers tend to treat most things they see this way. They even start making bets on what kind of problem the next town they walk into will give them.
* ShipperOnDeck: As of Episode 11, Hughes seems to be this for Roy/Ed.
* ShoutOut:
** Al's Creator/JohnnyYongBosch voice and his response - "I don't like Johnny Yong Bosch" - are both references to one of the anniversary videos done by Creator/LittleKuriboh. In the video, LK had a puppet that spoke in that same voice - claiming to be [=JYB=] - and he would always say "I don't like [thing]".
** In Episode 1, Ed insists that Cornello's ring is the [[Literature/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone Sorcerer's Stone]], not the Philosopher's Stone. He then says "Now give me my stone," which is a reference to a particularly [[{{Narm}} narmy]] line from ''VideoGame/AloneInTheDark2008''
** In Episodes 1 and 2, Ed and Al explain their backstory to Cornello through the SaturdayMorningCartoon openings of ''Series/TheSuperMarioBrosSuperShow'' and ''WesternAnimation/EarthwormJim'', much to Cornello's annoyance.
** In Episode 7, the final paragraph in King Bradley's long explanation of Edward's title is the lyrics to the theme song of ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir''. [[note]]"...this is the story all about h..." and "...to take a m..." can be seen.[[/note]]
** In Episode 10, when the Elric Brothers first encountered the Tringham Brothers, Ed and Russel used the dialogue from Sonic and Shadow the Hedgehogs of ''VideoGame/SonicAdventure2'', much to Al and Flecter's annoyance.
*** Russel then claims that he is "[[VideoGame/{{Persona4}} a shadow, the true self!]]"
** In Episode 11, right before his battle with Edward, Mustang reads off the spoken lines from the ''Anime/CowboyBebop'' opening, releasing his first snap after "3, 2, 1...Let's Jam!"
** The cow in the haiku-style opening is obviously Hiromu Arakawa's "bespectacled cow" AuthorAvatar.
* ShutUpHannibal: In this version of events, Ed does ''not'' allow Tucker's attempt at a NotSoDifferentRemark to get to him.
-->'''Tucker:''' If you kill me, doesn't that make you ''worse'' than I am?\\
'''Ed:''' (''punches Tucker again'') NOPE!
* SleepsWithEveryoneButYou: Lust would have sex with anything that happens to have a pulse, but evidently won't touch Gluttony.
-->'''Gluttony:''' I have yet to experience this [sex] myself. Still kinda hoping...
-->'''Lust:''' Hhehe, you're so funny Gluttony baby!
-->'''Gluttony:''' (''sounding very sad'') Hopin' with all my heart...
* StealthPun: Mustang is the "[[AmbiguouslyGay Flaming]] Alchemist".
* TemptingFate: In episode 3, after Winry tells the Elric brothers that her parents are dead. Ed responds that something like that will never happen to their mother (while saying ever a few times). 3 seconds later, she's hit by lazy malaria and dies.
* TitleDrop: "Nullmetal Alchemist" becomes Ed's official title.
-->'''Roy:''' A Nullmetal Alchemist, yes! What do you think?
-->'''Ed:''' That... doesn't make any sense.
-->'''Roy:''' Ha ha! Of course it doesn't! These things aren't ''meant'' to. [[WebVideo/CodeMENT "Ment", get it?]]
* UncannyValley: Parodied in-universe. One of Ed's favorite "magic tricks" is making a chibi face. To the audience it's cute, but to the characters within the show, it's disturbing.
* UnreadablyFastText:
** Episode Five: Roy's list of things to do on Happy Make Fun Of Mexicans Day.
** Episode Seven: King Bradley's letter on Edward's "Nullmetal" title.
* VillainHasAPoint: Despite how AffablyEvil Scar normally is, the only time he acts with noticable hostility is towards [=NullMetal=], for his abuse of his alchemical powers.
--> '''Scar''': [[WhatTheHellHero Nullmetal... I bet you had a blast with Alchemy this far, right?]] [[EquivalentExchange Just clap your hands and get whatever you want, right? But that's dangerous...]][[WithGreatPowerComesGreatResponsibility having so much power within arm's reach...]][[DesignatedVillain luckily for you, I'm going to rid you of such temptation, before it's too late...]]
** Even more chillingly, in this Abridged Series, the deranged, unsettlingly polite serial killer may be the closest thing to an actual hero.
* VocalDissonance: Lust. Body of a 20-something woman, voice of a leather daddy.
* WorldOfHam
* WrongOnSoManyLevels: "You're attracted to [Psiren] because she reminds you of MUM! I ''allowed'' the Winry thing but this is all the way messed up!"
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