%% Given that Hagan's real name has been added and deleted at least three times, it's probably best not to include it.

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/DiamandaHagan_2365.png]] [[caption-width-right:350:'''ALL HAIL THE LECHER BITCH''']]

->''"I'm a shy, meek, small-voiced person who understands subtlety, loves people in black masks, and is really greatly enjoying ''Film/LeftBehind''. Oh, and I love the cock."''
-->-- '''Diamanda Hagan''' (playing against type)

[[http://diamandahaganlecherbitch.blip.tv/ Diamanda Hagan]], a [[UsefulNotes/NorthernIreland Northern Irish]] EvilOverlord with a {{mysterious past}} (who [[https://twitter.com/Diamandahagan/status/177195230565642241 might have previously been]] Jerrica "{{WesternAnimation/Jem}}" Benton in a cartoon) moonlights as a film critic and the host of ''Diamanda Hagan: Lecher Bitch''. She mostly reviews bad movies, but has also done a recap/review of the series ''Series/{{Bonekickers}}'', ''Urban Gothic'' and ''Series/AdamAdamantLives''; ''Twatty Who Reviews'', focusing on the worst episodes of ''Series/DoctorWho'', and the ''Homeless Bsterrd Theatre Reviews'' starring Aleister D. Homelesssb’sterrd. This is similar to WebVideo/BumReviews, but focusing on theater (she even describes him as a distant cousin of Chester A. Bum).

Can also be seen [[http://diamandahagan.wordpress.com/ here]], as well as on Website/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses and [[http://rtgomer.com/ RT Gomer Productions]]. She also has a [[http://www.youtube.com/user/DiamandaHagan youtube]] channel.

She was a member of {{Reviewtopia}}, but she left in January 2013 after an incident at the [=MAGfest=] FanConvention involving members of the site (notably Creator/LordKat) abusing and exploiting an overly drunk woman to get viewers on a live stream. She also appeared with her real life wife WebVideo/TheOmega on Project Million Entertainment, for a podcast called Lesbian Talk, which has since migrated to WebVideo/TheOmega's Blip channel.

Aside from her in-character VideoReviewShow, she is also involved in:

* 'Twatty Who reviews': a voice over review show in the vein of SFDebris, but with a lot more vitriol and a lot more sarcasm, drawing on a lifetime as a [[Series/DoctorWho classic whovian]] and a palpable disappointment with the new series. seems to be the biggest hit with non-Hagan fans. Other shows reviewed in a sinilar manner include:
** {{Bonekickers}}: which she claims to be the worst British show of its decade
** {{Demons}}: said to be the worst show since 'Bonekickers', even exceeding its stupidity once or twice.
** Series/AdamAdamantLives: A "very flawed" but beloved drama/fantasy show from the 1960's, loved for its [[{{FairForItsDay}} 1960's depictions of sex and violence]].
** ''Urban Gothic'': a mostly disappointing [[{{GenreAnthology}} horror anthology series]] with a couple stories that truly stand out as brilliant.
* 'Backseat Critique' a Vlog series reviewing new releases with her real life friends and collaborators. Frequently found on TGWTG.
* 'Lesbian Talk': A podcast co-hosted and produced with WebVideo/TheOmega.
* 'You Probably Shouldn't Cook This': An experimental cooking show centering around [[{{CordonBleughChef}} combining disparate foods with each other and trying the results]].

----
!!This show provides examples of:

* AccentuateTheNegative: Although in ''Diamanda Hagan Plugs'', she plugs movies and shows she likes.
** Also, during her reviews, if even the smallest thing in the movie is well-done, she'll talk about it for a moment, and then go back to hating on the rest of the movie.
* ActuallyPrettyFunny: She says this on seeing Stonewall and Riot, after having screwed their way through half the supervillains of the city, come to a complete stop and walk away when faced with a supervillain''ess''.
* ADateWithRosiePalms: While...enjoying the sight of Kirk Cameron crying in ''Left Behind'' it cuts to the Divinyls "I touch myself" with a caption stating "Divinyls break" This happens again after Viv calls Magwilde a "sad, messed up woman" in the final episode of ''Bonekickers''
** She also turned one of her minions into a vibrator...before retiring to her bedroom for several weeks.
* AGodAmI: Declares herself a god [[spoiler: after coming back from the dead]] in her ''Intermedio'' review.
* AlterEgoActing: A pretty staunch type 1, as Diamanda Hagan is a separate person from her actor. (Who does exist, as her real self, in her character's universe [[spoiler: where, for the crime of looking like the leader of Haganistan, she is eternally locked in the dungeon and [[CoolAndUnusualPunishment forced to watch ]] ''Film/TheRoom''.]])
* [[AlternateUniverse Alternate Universe Counterpart]]: Nina Galas in the ''Film/DominionPrequelToTheExorcist'' review. She wears clothing with a lighter colour scheme and plain white facepaint, is generally more upbeat if [[BrokenBird slightly withdrawn]], and is routinely abused by the white-masked Tormentors.
* {{Angrish}}: Diamanda tends to devolve into this during her ''Gwendolyn'' review due to the PatchworkMap, and having no minions to kill.
* AnythingThatMoves: Alistair has a LongDistanceRelationship with his boyfriend Basil. That doesn't stop either one of them from perusing other men, women, or mannequins. And then there was the Theatre/{{Equus}} Review:
--> "My Little Pony, [[WaxingLyrical My Little Pony]], [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Ahhhhhhhhhh.]]"
* ArchNemesis: She has many, including Kirk Cameron, but notably WebVideo/TheCartoonHero. Specifically, he's her [=37th=].
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: Chastises Wood from ''Condor man'' for invading his friend's life, taking over his apartment, almost getting him in trouble with the local law, almost ruining his career by posing as a secret agent, stealing his bed and then trying to wake him up so he could show him his "hand drawn porn."
** In the review of Starbooty, The main character's boss lists things found in the her(?) niece's dorm room including "Seventeen vials of crack cocaine, 36 used dental dams, a box of dead gerbils and a Lee press-on nail." Guess which on the main character calls the boss out on, which is then called out by Hagan.
* ArtisticLicenseChemistry: In ''Harlem Rides the Range'', Diamanda mentions the confusing initial plot point of a radium mine. Radium is ''not'' mined, it is refined from uranium using a process discovered by Pierre and Marie Curie.
* ArtisticLicenseGeography:
** In ''Left Behind'' she remarks it's amazing how when it's six in Israel it's 6:03 in Iraq, considering the latter is an hour ahead.
** Hagan describes the first setting in ''Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-Yak'' as a theme-park built on a set that's trying to approximate China. Later in she gets annoyed at the titular land shifting constantly between being [[PatchworkMap a barren desert and a tropical rainforest]] leading her to yell "Just fucking pick one!"
* YouFailHistoryForever:
** She is outraged in ''Ilsa'' that her Nazi assistant is made up to look like Magnus Hirschfeld. It prompts her to get up onto a soap box and point out that Hirschfield in fact campaigned for gay rights and was opposed to the Nazis.
** One of her major problems with ''BoneKickers''. For example, in one episode when a character remarks that Egyptians and the Greeks were more advanced that Britain 4000 years ago, she points out the oldest known habitation [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skara_Brae that still exists (and had drainage) is in Scotland]]. She takes special delight in pointing out stuff that could ''easily'' be a plot point if the writers knew anything about history (e.g., a cargo of slaves delivered under a decade after Britain outlawed the slave trade).
* YouFailLawForever: One of the major plotholes in The Thirteenth Child (nothing to do with the book). The police led by an assistant DA try to confront the villain, only for him to point out that not only is their only evidence completely circumstantial but it was obtained during a warrantless search of his house, and that they don't even have a warrant to do a legal search much less arrest him (he also pointed this out during the first visit, only for the assistant DA to act huffy at the idea). They then proceed to ignore this and don't even seek a warrant or call for backup when one of them dies. The review also points out that the death of the first police officer was caused by him breaking and entering without a warrant and violating the containment of a dangerous animal; taken by itself the villain would probably get off.
* [[AscendedFanboy Ascended Fangirl]]: She [[OneOfUs references this site]] and calls herself this in the WesternAnimation/HeavyMetal commentary, talking about how huge a fan of the WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic she is, how much she always wanted him to review Heavy Metal, and how {{Squee}}-worthy it was getting to do it ''with'' him.
* AudibleSharpness: In ''Pineapple Chunks.''
-->'''Diamanda:''' Really, try lifting a knife in the air and see if it makes a sound like that.
* BadBoss: She kills, tortures and is generally horrible to her minions.
** Lord Ted is this to Nina, Diamanda's alternate universe good counterpart.
* BadassBoast: Does one at the end of her ''Biggles'' review which is also a near word for word ShoutOut to Kai from Lexx.
* BadassGay: Runs her own nation like a dictator, kills people, comes back from the dead, and strikes terror in the heart of Kirk Cameron as well as other internet reviewers.
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: In the review of ''Film/SlaughteredVomitDolls'', Diamanda expresses annoyance that the cameraman keeps vomiting on severed limbs and that he'd do it on something else for a change. He promptly vomits in a beer mug and ''drinks it back down.''
-->Diamanda: [[LampshadeHanging I asked for that.]]
* BecauseDestinySaysSo: Aleister cannot die or be killed "because of the Reason." Every time "the Reason" is brought up to justify a point, the characters inevitably concede to it.
* BerserkButton:
** She tends to fly off the handle whenever she mentions the spaceship powered by love from [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E11FearHer "Fear Her"]]. In fact, "Fear Her" in general seems to act as one.
** She is angered that one episode of ''Series/{{Bonekickers}}'' frequently refers to bisexuality in a negative way. Especially because [[{{Hypocrite}} they play the fey museum curator for laughs]].
** In general she did not like ''Film/IlsaSheWolfOfTheSS'', but having the camp assistant look like Magnus Hirschfeld pissed her off like no one's business.
** Picking on Minority religions makes her pretty damn angry. Big players like {{Christianity}}, {{Islam}}, and even [[{{Atheism}} Atheists like herself]] are AcceptableTargets, so long as one has ShownTheirWork. Depicting small groups like theistic satanists as [[HollywoodSatanism crazed bad guys]] prompts her to remind everyone how much more suffering major religions have caused in comparison.
*** The ''Series/{{Bonekickers}}'' episode "The Cradle of Civilisation" used what were essentially middle-eastern devil worshipers as their bad guys. The episode was centered around ''Iraq'' and aired during TheWarOnTerror.
*** The ''Series/AdamAdamantLives'' episode "Village of Evil" depicts a usually cool Adament getting visibly scared at the idea of Devil worship. Hagan points out that even in TheSixties, practicing Satanism was perfectly legal:
---->'''Hagan:''' He found a prayer book and a black candle and he's terrifed. He might as well be scared of a copy of the Talmud and a menorah.
* BiasSteamroller: "Twatty Who" has no qualms about extolling the superiority of Classic and ExpandedUniverse ''Series/DoctorWho'' over the revival series. The Tenth Doctor era in particular.
* BiggerThanJesus: After realizing it took her an entire three weeks to come back from the dead, Hagan quips "Still did better than Jesus -- [[HollywoodAtheist He didn't exist!]]"
* BlackComedyRape:
** In one review she threatens to rape one of the minions and every male in his family until the year 3000.
** "Cunnilingus time!"
** Played with in the ''Eat The Schoolgirl'' review, where she demands that [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Oancitizen]] make a rape scene in the movie funny, and the best he can come up with is playing the theme song from ''{{Jem}}'' over it. [[EvenEvilHasStandards Diamanda is horrified]].
** [[DrinkingGame "Take a Shot!"]] Although this could also count as SomeAnvilsNeedToBeDropped.
** One time the outright rapes Alistair just off screen because he wouldn't stop interrupting the review. Of course, it seems Alistair is so perverted that there's no sex act he won't willingly participate in.
-->"Oh! How much do I owe you?"
* BorrowedCatchPhrase: Aleister has some of the same catchphrases as [[WebVideo/BumReviews Chester A. Bum]] e.g. "I [unusual event] once!" Diamanda also on occasionally uses the [[Film/StreetFighter M. Bison]] [[MemeticMutation "Of course!"]] clip, usually when a character does something that makes no sense.
-->'''Diamanda:''' Emanuele seeks anonymity and a new life free of the burdens of her old. So she lets a newspaper cover the story.
-->'''M. Bison:''' Of course!
* BookEnds: "This is ''{{Bonekickers}}''; you have been warned." "That was ''Bonekickers''; you were warned."
* BreakTheCutie: [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Oancitizen]] and [[WebVideo/YouCanPlayThis Jew Wario]] are two of her favorite targets.
* BrokenAesop: A character in ''Raspberry Reich'' states that masturbation is counter-revolutionary. This is after we've already seen one character masturbate.
-->'''Diamanda:''' "A porno telling us masturbation is bad."
** ''Memory Run'' centers around a male (presumably heterosexual) protagonist who [[GrandTheftMe has his body stolen and his brain transferred into a woman]] [[spoiler: who is/ was pregnant with his child]]. [[spoiler: After he is forced to destroy his old body]] he [[SecondlawOfGenderBending simply acquiesces to living out the rest of his life]] as a [[FirstLawOfGenderBending hot woman]] and [[ThirdLawOfGenderBending even takes a male lover, despite showing no attraction to men beforehand]]. Hagan points out that the author of the original story was Transsexual, and ought to have known better than to imply TheMindIsAPlaythingOfTheBody. Not to mention that sex changes are a thing.
* BuffySpeak: From her ''{{Condorman}}'' review, "I sense forced zaniness approaching like a giant ... zany ... thing."
* ButchLesbian: Being an EvilOverlord, she's no terribly concerned with courting The MaleGaze.
* ButForMeItWasTuesday: Used word-for-word.
-->'''Minion:''' YouMonster! Two months ago you made me eat my own children!
-->'''Diamanda Hagan:''' Oh. An important day for you, but for me it was Tuesday.
-->'''Minion:''' [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking And you steal dialogue!]]
* ButNotTooBi: The title character in ''Film/{{Emmanuelle}} 4''
--> "You fucking cunt tease! You fuck every man in a 30-mile radius, please fuck at least one woman! Please!"
* ButtMonkey: Diamanda the actress herself is often the butt of "Lolz, she's a really a man" jokes due to her [[HollywoodHomely unconventional appearance and deep voice]], with one really nasty comment coming from [[{{Jerkass}} Asalieri]] (the host of ''WebVideo/ReviewingAReviewer'') calling her "a thing".
* CallBack: At the beginning of ''Eat the Schoolgirl'', she states that she removed Oancitizen's balls because he obviously wasn't using them, and at the end says that she'll mail them back to him. It's almost exactly what happened at the end of his review of ''Film/KenPark''.
* CallingMeALogarithm: When she points out the weak insults of the Apocolypse movies.
-->'''Diamanda:''' "Hater" is this films' idea of an anti-Christian slur. I would have gone with "Cissexual Gynophile" to encourage people looking up words they'd never heard of.
** Which, ironically, isn't that much of an insult if you look it up (one who is satisfied with their gender and attracted to females).
* TheCameo:
** Appeared in Creator/AllisonPregler's review of ''Hard To Kill''. Her show itself has had such cameos as Allison aka Lupa, Nash, and [[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]] (the last of which was lampshaded).
-->'''Diamanda''': So they strap the hostage to [[DoubleTake WAIT A SEC WAS THAT]] ''[[DoubleTake LINKARA?!]]''
** The ''Battle of the Bone'' review had cameos by The Omega, {{Welshy}} and [[WebVideo/BadMovieBeatdown Film Brain]].
** She appeared in WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick's review of ''Disney/TheLittleMermaid'', promoting violence against merfolk.
** She appeared in TheRapCritic and Creator/MarcMues' review of "Raise Up", where she was asked by Mues [[AccidentalInnuendo to take her shirt off]].
** {{Welshy}} had an extended cameo in the ''The Dragon Lives Again'' review pretending to be the guy who rules Website/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.
** After Diamanda remarks how much an actor in ''Apocalypse'' looks like [[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]], there are cameos by Spoony, Dr. Insano and a Spoony clone, Christian Spoony.
** WebVideo/{{Phelous}} and [[WebVideo/WhatTheFuckIsWrongWithYou Nash]] appear in the ''Apocalypse 4: Judgment'' review. Nash plays Jesus.
** [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Oancitizen]] appears a few times, including the ''Film/{{Emmanuelle}} 5'' and ''Aftermath''/''Thomas The Tank Engine And the Magic Railroad'' review, commenting on why he is not reviewing the film in question.
*** Diamanda in return appears in a few episodes of Kyle's show. Most notably, she was asked to bomb the city where ''Ken Park'' was set and shot.
** Appeared in Hewy Toonmore's review of ''WesternAnimation/TheGroovenians'', admitting she delivered the show to him at Count Sigeeyai's request.
** Appeared in WebVideo/InfamousSphere's review of ''Film/TheCryingGame''.
** And of course, Diamanda makes a cameo in ''WebVideo/ToBoldlyFlee'', not caring that the ham in her sandwhich became a human hand.
** [[WebVideo/IndyChristianReview The Storyteller]] gets his appearance in the review of ''Megiddo''. He holds his own against Diamanda surprisingly well and gains some genuine respect from her, but his closing attempt to convince her that perhaps they should be the best of enemies is gleefully trampled on by Hagan...
* CasanovaWannabe: When a male character manages to inexplicably bed an attractive woman, she'll sometimes go out and try the same lines on a woman in real life and get her ass kicked [[spoiler: except in the ''Faust'' review when it [[RefugeInAudacity actually worked]] .]]
* CatchPhrase:
** [[HedwigAndTheAngryInch "Ladies and gentlemen, whether you like it or not..."]]
** "Greetings gentleviewers!"
** "This is ''{{Bonekickers}}''; you have been warned."
** "I'm Diamanda Hagan and I have to live with that every day."
** [Clip of annoying character] "Yeah, I'm going to hate you..."
** "Minions! Do the Dance Of Exposition!"
** "Hail Hagan!" (disinterested) "Hail me."
* CausticCritic
* CensoredForComedy: Her review of ''Gay Niggers from Outer Space'' has her quickly shooting the censorship box, which results in random words, dirty or not, getting bleeped throughout.
* CensorBox: Deployed during the more explicit scenes in ''Ilsa'' and ''Film/{{Emmanuelle}} 4''. In ''Raspberry Reich'' the credits state they come from "The Censorship Box Company of Albania".
** The ones used in the ''Heavy Metal" review with the Nostalgia Critic include the words "Pervy Goodness."
** In her review of ''Chirpy,'' she is forced to censor-box ''the entire screen'', leaving only [[TheImmodestOrgasm the extremely suggestive audio]]. Diamanda notes that even though she might not technically need to censor cartoon pornography, she was doing it anyway because whatever her viewers were forced to imagine was going to be twice as traumatizing as what was actually happening.
* ChekhovsGun: Or more exact Chekhov's hang glider in "Film/TheManFromHongKong'', which she calls at the beginning of the movie.
** "Chekhov's Random as Fuck Ejection System" in ''The Virus''.
** "Chekhov's Random as Fuck Guy with [[AspergerSyndrome Asperger's]]" in ProjectMillion.
* ClusterFBomb: Several, but the one from the Twatty Who for [[Recap/DoctorWhoS30E14TheNextDoctor "The Next Doctor"]] deserves special mention:
-->'''Tenth Doctor:''' "Rosita"? Good name.\\
'''Hagan:'''[[note]][[{{Understatement}} not a fan]] of Rosita's [[Characters/DoctorWhoRevivalSeriesCompanions near-namesake]][[/note]] Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou FUCK! YOU! ... Anyway, there aren't enough "fuck you"s in the universe for that, so on with the story.
* ComeForTheXStayForTheY:[[invoked]]From Zombeak: "I guess that's just part of the charm of the South. Come for the barbeque! Stay for the violence!"
* ComedicSociopathy: Just one of many examples: forcing one of her minions to go down on her and then shooting it in the head afterward. She then points out that said act is less evil than anything [[GodIsEvil God as portrayed in]] LeftBehind is responsible for in the movie.
* CompensatingForSomething: Regards Thatcher's car in ''Film/TurkeyShoot'' as the most phallic truck she's ever seen.
* CompletelyMissingThePoint: She believes castration to be this.
-->You cut off his cock so he ''can't'' cum, not his balls so he doesn't ''want'' to!
* ConditionedToAcceptHorror: The citizens of Haganistan, especially the minions.
** Diamanda herself, thanks to all of the disturbing movies she watches.
* CountryMatters: One of her favorite words.
* {{Crawl}}: Parodied at the beginning of her review of ''Raspberry Reich'' with examples like "What happened to Creator/ApolloZHack's eye anyway?", "Coldguy actually room temperature", and "WebVideo/BradTries[=LordKat's=] semen? Probably not". The latter became HilariousInHindsight when Brad really ''did'' try a drink called "Semen". Though it wasn't from [=LordKat=].
* CrazyCulturalComparison: Used with abandon in ''The Knackery'' review, where Aleister claims that, in Northern Ireland, they feed thermite to babies, eat cars, and lick paint, that aspirin is a luxury, that television is illegal, that standing in a field is the equivalent of having a very nice office, and that they teach you to shoot before they teach you how to perform a bowel movement (which they have to be taught how to do because they're '''stupid''').
* CrosscastRole: Aleister D. Homelessb'sterrd
* {{Crossover}}:
** Reviewed 1930s exploitation movies while possessing the bodies of [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Oancitizen]], Creator/ApolloZHack, Creator/CinWicked and the RapCritic.
*** Then Kyle, The Rap Critic, and JewWario, in Hagan versions, reviewed along with Diamanda ''Film/TheIslandOfDrMoreau'' (1996).
** Twice with her RealLife wife WebVideo/TheOmega, one of them being a review of ''Taint'', the other of ''Butch Jamie''.
** ''Film/JesusChristVampireHunter'' with TheFilmRenegado.
** ''Megiddo'' with TheStoryteller.
** ''Film/{{Antichrist}}'' and ''[[http://www.agonybooth.com/video515_Sailor_and_the_7_Ballz_Porn_Sailor_Moon_Dragon_Ball_Z.aspx Sailor and the 7 Ballz]]'' with [[Website/TheAgonyBooth Mr. Mendo]].
** ''Film/{{Virus}}'' with Creator/JoshuaTheAnarchist.
** ''Film/TheTrollHunter'' with WebVideo/TheOmega and [[WarningReadersAdvisory Derek the Bard]].
** ''Zombeak'' with JewWario, and ''Eat the Schoolgirl'' with [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Oancitizen]], both done at Magfest.
** ''Music/BalSagoth'' with [[FrothyPintOfMetal Happy Viking]].
** ''WesternAnimation/HeavyMetal'' with WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic.
** '' [[{{Wrestling/Sting}} Sting: Moment of Truth]]'' with TheSpoonyOne
** ''Myra Breckinridge'' with Webvideo/TheCinemaSnob.
* CutLexLuthorACheck: Or rather, cut him a bigger check. When the opening narration states that [[Franchise/ResidentEvil the Umbrella corporation]] is the world's leading producer of computer and medical technology, Diamanda remarks that it makes no sense that most of their profits come from shady military and bioweapon research.
-->'''Diamanda:''' Do you think that the makers of this have any concept of how much money is made in medical products, computer tech and healthcare? No? Well, neither do I, but it's sure to be a fuckload!
** In ''Stonewall and Riot'', she points out that the French Tickler's plan [[spoiler: to use an orgasm ray to bring everyone in the city to orgasm so he can steal from them]] has the standard super villain problem that the equipment he uses to pull off the plan costs as much as he could steal.
* DamnedByFaintPraise: Aleister, on ''The Knackery'' says "This was a movie. A movie that I watched."
* DangerouslyGenreSavvy
* DarkAndTroubledPast: On her ''The Truth About Demon'' review, she seems to remember that she was once Jem from JemAndTheHolograms. On her youtube channel, she is asked why she is dressing like "a [[WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls powerpuff girl]] who someone assaulted".
--->'''Diamanda''': Maybe I am a powerpuff girl who got raped.
* DeadpanSnarker
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment:
** Comments that one of the villains in ''Film/TurkeyShoot'' is a slimy bastard who she likes to call...a slimy bastard (with a caption on screen that reads: "slimy bastard: a bastard who is slimy").
** In ''The Dead and the Dying'', she says that Amber Benson is at her best when "playing lesbians, or women with sapphic tendencies, or lesbians, or lesbians".
** In "Biggles, Adventures in Time" she says "I'm gonna fucking kill you until you fucking die from it!"
* DistaffCounterpart: She's described herself as a female version of [[RedLetterMedia Harry S. Plinkett]], and resembles a female version of HeathLedger's [[Film/TheDarkKnight Joker]].
** Also, the types of movies she reviews make her sort of this to WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob and [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Oancitizen]]. This was pointed out with regards to the former reviewer in their crossover review of Myra Breckinridge, which started with Snob and Hagan comparing notes on who reviewed the worst movie (and pointing out that they both reviewed ''Child Bride''). Hagan won, by the way.
* DistractedByTheSexy:
** She's intrigued by a shot of the blond escapee running from ''Film/TurkeyShoot''
-->'''Diamanda''': Ooh, sorry. [[{{Gainaxing}} Hypnotic boobs]].
* {{Dissimile}}: She describes ''Film/{{Emmanuelle}} 4'' like ''Series/SexAndTheCity'', only with more sex and less city.
** Later on she describes a scene in ''Film/CondorMan'' as like the scene in ''Film/TrueLies'' when Creator/JamieLeeCurtis strips. Except without Schwarzenegger, or stripping or Jamie Lee Curtis.
-->'''Diamanda:''' "In fact it's a lot of not like that bit in ''True Lies''."
* DoesNotLikeMen: In ''ProjectMillion'', she tortures LC and is shocked when he actually enjoys it.
* DolledUpInstallment: ''Children of the Living Dead'' tries to pass itself off as a sequel to ''Night Of The Living Dead'' and ''Dawn of The Dead''. Diamanda points out that this doesn't explain why the characters are so surprised when they encounter zombies.
* DoWrongRight: Whenever a character threatens to cut off someone's balls off, she will always berate them for doing it wrong based on the idea that cutting off the balls still leaves the character with the ability to orgasm without having the desire to do so, while cutting off the penis instead leaves you with the desire to orgasm without the means to achieve it.
* TheDragon: She very likely hasn't been informed of this herself, but Critic (post comeback) seems to think she's his, threatening Smarty with her wrath because he hasn't been interested in the Zelda games.
* DrinkingGame: Invents one for ''Turkey Shoot' that every time a character threatens, indicates or suggests they're going to rape someone, take a shot. "I guarantee by the film's end, you'll be blind." This turns into a RunningJoke for her later reviews.
** JewWario calls her out on it during the ''Zombeak'' review, years after the joke began.
* {{Dystopia}}: Haganistan is heavily implied to be one of these.
** There's even a LaResistance [[spoiler: which was, unfortunately, TooDumbToLive]]
** Hagan herself maintains that the rest of the population is quite happy, and that only the minions are abused.
* EiffelTowerEffect:
** Irritated by its application in ''The Man From Hong Kong'', particularly as Sydney Opera House is ten miles away from the nearest airport.
--> '''Diamanda''': I believe you filmed where you filmed, I don't need it proven by pointless shots of landmarks!
** This comes under fire again during her ''LeftBehind'' review after a caption states "Jerusalem."
-->'''Diamanda''': Yes, whenever I hear that generic Middle Eastern music and I see the massive gigantic golden tit that is the Dome of the Rock I think to myself, "Hmm, perhaps we're in Strasburg!"
** Comments that the title character in ''{{Condorman}}'' jumps off the actual [[TropeNamer Eiffel Tower]] into the Seine river without being arrested.
* EvenEvilHasStandards:
** During her ''LeftBehind'' review, she says that even ''she'' is less evil than God in the ''Left Behind'' series. Because the worst she'll do is [[BadBoss shoot you]] [[OutWithaBang while you go down on her]].
*** She also calls out Christians who believe in the Rapture about owning pets, since they could be scooped up by God at any given moment, leaving their pets behind to starve to death.
**** She further extends this logic by calling out christians who get driving and piloting licenses since they could be raptured while driving a car or piloting a plane, leaving their unattended vehicule to kill unraptured people.
** She makes a similar argument for why she is a vastly more benevolent deity than the God in the ''Apocalypse'' films, as she at least doesn't allow people to be mind controlled by the AntiChrist into accepting his mark, thereby damning them to Hell.
** In her crossover review of ''Eat the Schoolgirl'' with [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Oancitizen]] she states that she's evil, but not racist. At the end of the review and after Kyle [[GoMadFromTheRevelation stops being insane]], she remarks that "it would be dickish to kill someone for something they don't remember doing".
** She's disgusted that a character in ''Ilsa: She-wolf of the SS'' - more than that, the doctor assisting the titular Ilsa - was deliberately made to look like Dr Magnus Hirschfield. She even gets on an actual soap box to rant about how Hirschfield fought for equal rights for gay, lesbian and transgender people, and how his efforts would be undone by the Nazis. "And this is the guy you base your evil doctor's assistant on. ''FUCK YOU!!!''"
*** Actually, she's pretty disgusted with Illsa in general...not so much because she's evil ("When you're outcunted by me, you're a little bitch.") but because of how bloody ''annoying'' she is.
** It says something when even Diamanda is freaked out by the imagery in ''Where the Dead Go to Die.''
** In her review of ''The Cuckoo Clocks of Hell (Schizophreniac 3)'', as she shows a scene of [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext the ghost of John Wayne Gacy telling Harry Russo to follow the N*gg*r Brick Road]], she asks "Why exactly is it called the African-American Brick Road?!" One of her minions then tells her that the censorship device has been fixed for ages, and also tries to tell her that she can say the N-word, only to be shot dead by Hagan [[CurseCutShort before he completes saying the racial slur]]. She then tells the minion, "Don't be racist!"
* [[EvenTheGuysWantHim Even the Lesbian Overlord Wants Him]]: Even Diamanda couldn't resist the appeal of Oliver Reed with facial hair in Oancitizen's review of ''The Devils''. Oancitizen is terrified by that.
-->'''Diamanda:''' [when asked how she feels about penises] Disgusting! [Oancitizen shows her a picture of Oliver Reed] How can you stand having one of those attached to your...[she gasps and faints in delight]
-->'''Minion:''' Mistress, are you okay?
-->'''Diamanda:''' OLIVER REED!
-->'''Oancitizen:''' [stares at the picture in horror] I must only use this power for good.
* EvilerThanThou: Josh the Anarchist dares Diamanda to a crazy-off. As recounted on the CrowningMomentOfAwesome page, Diamanda handily wins.
* EvilInc: She calls the company from ''Memory Run'' Genericorp.
-->'''Diamanda''': They sell things like...fascism...and...crack...to...leprechauns...I dunno, I wasn't really paying attention.
* EvilIsBigger: She's 6'2 (1,85 m)... and yet rarely seen standing next to other people. (for instance, in her crossover with WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob it's clear she's OneHeadTaller than Brad)
* EvilOverlord: Hagan is one, and she knows about the...
* EvilOverlordList: A lot of her actions show that she [[DangerouslyGenreSavvy knows the flaws of other overlords before her]].
* EvilVersusEvil: How she sees the conflict between the God of the 4 Apocalypse movies, who she feels is a dick, and Satan.
-->'''Diamanda''': These movies are about two opposing forces of omni-dickery. That wouldn't be so bad if we weren't supposed to think one of them was GOOD!
* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: Due to his WolverineClaws, she describes the main character in ''Faust: Love of the Damned'' as Techno-Wolverine, with a caption explaining it as "like {{Wolverine}}, but more techno".
* {{Expy}}: The characters in the TheWorstWitch are so similar to their analogs in Literature/HarryPotter, she simply gives up remembering their actual names and refers to them a as [[SadistTeacher Snape]], [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure Dumbledore]], [[AlphaBitch Draco]], etc... The exception being that there is no [[TheAce Harry]]; the main character resembling [[TheDitz Ron]].
* FacelessMooks: The Minions.
* FetishRetardant: [[invoked]] At first, she seems interested in a lesbian with a shaved head in her review of ''Preaching to the perverted.'' Then she learns that she was played by Julia Graham, who also played Elizabeth Magwilde in ''Bonekickers,'' the one character she hates most out of the entire series.
* FridgeHorror: [[invoked]] Why she believes ''Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS'' has a less FamilyUnfriendlyAesop than ''Left Behind.''
* FunWithSubtitles: Since most of the characters in ''Battle of the Bone'' are mostly unintelligible, she uses subtitles whenever someone who's Northern Irish, aside from herself, speaks. For example, the one English actress gets no subtitles, but everyone else in the film does, as well as one sap on the street, even for lines that are perfectly clear.
** While Northern Irish by citizenship, Hagan's actually of Scottish descent. Her accent's...somewhere in between.
* GettingCrapPastTheRadar:
** There's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it bit of uncensored fellatio in the ''Raspberry Reich'' review, partially obscured by a fade-wipe.
** In review of ''Starbooty'', one of the film's characters was dressed [[{{Stripperific}} only in what's best described as a fishnet]] and her nipples were partially visible without any censorship.
** Her review of ''Bad Biology'' had an incredible amount of this, to the point where you think she may have burned the radar. Though she censored any breast shots, she somehow managed to get a giant, deformed, drug-addicted, sentient penis along with [[spoiler:its half-human offspring]] ([[ItMakesSenseInContext don't ask]]) uncensored! Also vagina-masks. Hagan justified this saying she doesn't censor obviously fake nudity.
* GirlOnGirlIsHot:
** She's notably disappointed when a lesbian scene is cut short in ''Turkey Shoot''.
-->'''Diamanda:''' I wanted to see [[DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnFemale naked lesbian crossbow rape]]!
** Similarly she's dismayed that any time there appears there's about to be a lesbian scene in ''Film/{{Emmanuelle}} 4'' nothing happens.
-->'''Diamanda''': You fucking [[CountryMatters cunt tease]]! You fuck every man in a thirty metre radius, please fuck at least one woman! Please!
** Tries using her 'godly' powers to turn ''Intermedio'' into 90 minutes of Creator/AlysonHannigan having sex with every single woman she finds attractive in order of attractiveness. Sadly, this doesn't work. She also kills a man because Amber Benson's character in the movie doesn't do anything remotely [[InsistentTerminology lesbonic]].
* GodEmperor: Hagan views herself as one. Her full self-proclaimed title, "Diamanda Hagan, God-Empress of the Great Nation of [[{{Egopolis}} Haganistan]], V.G.C, S.S.I., N.D.C., Mistress of all the Peoples of the Earth (Whether Recognized Or Not), Owner of Every Shark in the Sea and Tiger on Land, and Tiger at Sea Should Such a Thing Ever Be Observed, Conqueror of the World in General and Haganistan in Particular", directly parodies that used by Idi Amin.
* GodIsInept: Observes this in ''LeftBehind'', stating that mass chaos would ensue due to the Rapture, including abandoned pets, major traffic pile-ups, and the fact that he's leaving all of your loved ones who have sinned to ''battle the antichrist''. She then goes on to demonstrate that it's worse than her regular antics.
--> '''Diamanda''': I just shot someone who was [[OutWithABang going down on me]]! That's the worst I'll ever do to you!
** Also in her review of the ''Urban Gothic'' episode "Lacuna", she interprets the BedlamHouse to be [[EveryoneIsJesusInPurgatory a rather heavy-handed metaphor for purgatory]] and an inept. [[NewAgeRetroHippie doddering old hippie]] to be a rather [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} absent-minded]] God.
* GodwinsLaw: The HeteronormativeCrusader villain from ''Film/PreachingToThePerverted'', while being [[StrawHypocrite fascinated by the very pornography he's supposed to be fighting against.]]
-->'''Henry Harding MP''': You know, Himmler always got sick visiting the camps... but he always forced himself to go on.
-->'''Hagan''': Has that guy just Godwined the film?
* GroinAttack: Once ordered a minion to mail his own testicles to [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Kyle Kallgren.]]
* HalfwayPlotSwitch: ''Gwendoline'' has an unusual shift from adventure to porn. She even remarks that the GenreShift in ''Film/FromDuskTillDawn'' has nothing on this one.
* HappinessInSlavery: The minions.
* HilariousOuttakes: ''Hagan Flubs'' showcases outtakes and alternative takes from her reviews.
* HonorBeforeReason: Aleister refuses to say the word "whore" at auditions, even if it costs him a role. Since said audition was for the lead role in ''Schizophreniac The Whore Mangler'' though...
* HypocriticalHumor: She does this all the time to illustrate a point. Very well, usually.
** Used in her review of ''Gwendoline''. While she remarks about the sudden genre shift the viewers aren't meant to notice, for the rest of the review she sports a different outfit, make up and hair color than before. When criticizing the random editing of a scene, it then randomly cuts to teddy the minion before cutting back to Hagan.
* IncrediblyLamePun:
** After a character gets a machete in the head during ''Turkey Shoot'' she lampshades the fact she's about to do a lame "splitting headache" joke.
** In ''Memory Run'' after the GenderBender male begins to [[ManIFeelLikeAWoman feel their recently acquired breasts]] she quips the film should have been called "Mammary Run".
** When Woody lands in the River Seine in ''CondorMan'', she remarks he is literally "in-seine"
** After a character in ''Siege'' says "Fire at Will!," she plays a montage of [[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration people shooting at Will Riker]]. She follows this up with "You have ''no idea'' how long I've been waiting to do that!"
* ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy: Comments that in ''Turkey Shoot'' not even the automatic guns can shoot straight.
* InsaneTrollLogic: Deployed in Aleister's "History of LBGT People" video, where he acts out a scene depicting how Victorians believed that female sexuality and lesbianism didn't exist;
--> '''Aleister:''' Are you sure you don't exist, Ms. Licksalot?
--> '''Ms. Licksalot:''' Umm... yes.
--> '''Aleister:''' It's just that I could've sworn I saw you perform cunnilingus on that woman.
--> '''Ms. Licksalot:''' If lesbians don't exist, then I can't be performing cunnilingus, because lesbianism doesn't exist. So therefore I can't have done the act, because I don't exist!
--> '''Aleister:''' ...You win this round.
* ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne: Alistair loses yet another job for refusing to do something minorly inconvenient for an otherwise taxing and/or bizarre role.
-->'''Casting Director:''' You'll need to shave off your moustache, go on hormones to grow breasts, have them removed, have a vaginoplasty, get some tatoos, and be okay with being naked and fucking people on screen.
-->'''Alistair :''' I'm not shaving off my moustache!
* KarmaHoudini: Welshy trolls Hagan pretty hard by pretending to be the overlord of Channel Awesome. He gets away with it because she isn't sure whether he may or may not be for real[[note]]He clearly bribed her minion to put that doubt in her mind[[/note]] and she can't nuke Wales as a whole because of a dominatrix she once dated there.
* LanternJawOfJustice: Well, not so much the ''justice'' part.
* LargeHam: But she does it so well. So much that when she possesses other people, [[HamToHamCombat it can get nasty]].
* {{Leitmotif}} During field-tests, an uptempo version of "Gonk," done on guitar and xylophone, plays in the background.
* LeParkour: It is demonstrated in the ''Battle of the Bone'' review that the average Northern Irishman in fact ''can't'' naturally perform Parkour.
* LetsSeeYOUDoBetter: Inverted in her "Where the Dead go to Die" review, where she complains about the cgi characters accidentally merging together when they hug. She feels rendering like that is basic and should be fixed, especially when so much weird and truly disturbing material get's more focus, before realizing if she could animate, she'd focus on the surreal material and disregard everything else.
* LightningCanDoAnything:
** Specifically, being struck by lightning sends you to 1917. Even when you're indoors!
** The lightning from ''Film/ChoppingMall'', which seemed to make the robots of the movie come to life, and more obviously evil.
* LightIsNotGood: The alternate versions of the minions are the douchey abusers instead of Hagan (who is called Nina Galas), and they wear white masks.
* LoveableSexManiac: The Doctor Minion, Hagan's Minion physician. He OOZES repressed sexual desire. [[ILoveTheDead And he's willing to sate it on dead Minions, too...]]
* {{Malaproper}}: Has a tendency to do this with the names of other reviewers, such as "[[WebVideo/JewWario Jeweegie]]" and "[[WebVideo/TheRapCritic Rape Critic]]".
* MamaBear: On the "Your Reviews" sections of the TGWTG forums, she will often encourage and give helpful advice to those struggling to find a voice. When anyone starts heavily criticizing those people or her colleagues, she will come down on them hard.
* ManChild: Aleister
-->[[Film/{{Apocalypse}} Helen Hannah:]] Professionals built the Titanic; amateurs built the Ark.
--> Aleister ''[under a pile of couch cushions]'': I built a fort!
* ManIFeelLikeAWoman: While possessing [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Oancitizen]], she checks to see if he's not a woman.
-->'''Hagancitizen''': "Most definitely not a woman... so that's what one of those things feel like."
** She checks again after possessing Creator/CinWicked, then comments on how he's [[CampGay close enough.]]
* MassivelyMultiplayerCrossover: Was the main antagonist in ''Film/ProjectMillion''.
* MeanCharacterNiceActor
* MeaningfulName: Irish musician Diamanda Galás and German actress Nina Hagen were major influences on the character's behavior.
* MemeticBadass: [[{{In-Universe}} She]] builds the protagonist of ''TheStoryOfRicky'' as one. [[invoked]]
* MissingStepsPlan: The "revolution" in ''Raspberry Reich'' that involves having sex in public. She even plays the [[WesternAnimation/SouthPark underpants gnome]] song.
* MonsterClown:
** She dresses like a DistaffCounterpart to MarilynManson.
** In his ''{{Hairspray}}'' review, GomerTheRantingThespian refers to her as an "insane [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI Kefka]] ripoff".
* {{Mooks}}[=/=]RedShirts: The minions.
* MysteriousPast: It's strongly hinted in the ''The Truth About Demons'' review that Hagan was once Jerrica from ''{{Jem}}''. In her "Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas" review, it is confirmed that she was Jerrica, Sarsaparilla The Weed Witch was Kimber, and TheRapCritic was Aja.
** She is credited as Jerrica Benton in the end credits of WebVideo/{{To Boldly Flee}}.[[note]]After requesting to take off her ''real'' name. AlterEgoActing is SeriousBusiness.[[/note]]
* NamedAfterSomebodyFamous: She named herself after Music/DiamandaGalas and Music/NinaHagen. [[http://culturemass.com/2013/02/04/diamanda-hagan/]]. Another character played by her is called Nina Galas.
* ANaziByAnyOtherName: Franco Macaluso's forces in the {{Apocalypse}} Review
-->Remember I promised blatent and unsubtle Holocaust imagery? Well, here ya go! Big as life and twice as insulting! You know who else put people in cattle trucks? The people who made Film/SchindlersList!
* NeutralFemale: During one of the penultimate fight scenes in Film/TurkeyShoot, Hagan remarks that while TheHero and TheDragon are fighting, the DistressedDamsel is sitting on the sidelines while she could [[TooDumbToLive easily flank on the bad guy or even just run away]]. Given that the baddies [[{{ForegoneConclusion}} are set on killing and/or raping the heroes]], there's absolutely no point in waiting around to see who will win. [[spoiler: Subverted when the heroine [[CombatPragmatist sneaks up on the bad guy and cuts his hand off with a machete]].]]
* NightmareFetishist: She seems to get turned on by...strange....things
* NoIndoorVoice: Whenever she gets worked up - which given the quality of most of the films she reviews, is often.
* NoodleIncident: "...you have to do it, because of ''the reason.''"
** Her occasionally referenced but never explained prior relationship with a dominatrix
* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: Often.
** Has captions to advise that she did not add the dramatic sting during Ilsa when the title character is stroking a dildo.
** There's a caption during the ''Left Behind'' review to stress that a padding scene of the main character looking over a balcony is this length in the actual movie.
** She also says she isn't kidding that Kirk Cameron and his wife are contractually obligated to only have kissing scenes with each other, and even shows footage from several films to demonstrate this.
** Uses a caption saying "As originally edited" numerous times in her review of ''Intermedio''.
** During the [[Series/TheBennyHillShow Benny Hill-worthy]] chase scene in ''Gwendoline'', she states that the only change she made to the scene was adding "Yakety Sax".
** The review of ''Gayniggers From Outer Space'' features an "[=I DID NOT ADD THIS MUSIC=]" disclaimer on a scene which features the theme from ''Series/{{SWAT}}''.
* NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat: Creator/MaeWest's last film, ''Film/{{Sextette}}'', she makes repeated jokes about how the leading lady is obviously in her eighties and trying to look four decades younger. Near the end, she clarifies that there's nothing wrong with finding an eighty-year-old woman attractive, it's just a lot less common than the movie portrays it.
* NukeEm: In a crossover appearance on ''WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh'', Hagan nukes every city called Visalia on the planet. This is because ''Film/KenPark'' was set in Visalia. And Hagan couldn't be bothered to remember which city Oancitizen wanted nuked.
* NWordPrivileges: Parodied in her review of ''Gay Niggers From Outer Space''. She gives a big speech on how bleeping the one in the title would just seem trite and hypocritical. Of course, the censorship equipment seems to be broken, as the word "space" is also bleeped.
* ObviouslyEvil: Says that Nicolae Carpathia of ''Left Behind'' is the most obvious villain name since Darkheart Rapesbabies.
* OddFriendship: With the Storyteller of Indy Christian Review, the most diametrically opposed reviewer there is. Apparently the two are actually friends in real life too.
* OffscreenMomentOfAwesome: She has this reaction in the review of ''Film/TurkeyShoot'' to the death of the blonde prisoner to the crossbow wielder which happens offscreen.
-->'''Diamanda:''' (distraught) I wanted to see the naked lesbian crossbow rape!!!
* OhNoNotAgain: On AprilFoolsDay 2012, she starts to possess people ''again'', getting forced into the bodies of [[WebVideo/AnimatedAnalysis Stephan]] and [[RBGProductions Charlie]].
* OnlySixFaces: She points out that all the actresses in ''Left Behind 3'' are very similar-looking blonde women, with only slightly different hairstyles to tell them apart.
* OverlyNarrowSuperlative: Averted when she says that Zombeak is the worst zombie chicken movie ever made. There [[Film/PoultrygeistNightOfTheChickenDead actually is another one of those]], and it is [[GuiltyPleasures awesome]].
* OutWithABang: She killed one of her minions while they were going down on her.
* PerverseSexualLust: Has a major thing for MarzGurl.
* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain:
** Harry Russo in ''Necromaniac''; he goes beyond his typical HeManWomanHater status established in Schitzopheniac and goes on Creator/MelGibson-like rants about Black and Jewish people. Hagan isn't impressed.
** A DefiedTrope with Hagan herself.
* PsychoLesbian: A major source of {{Fetish Fuel}} for her. Crazy, AbusivelySexy, hot womenfolk are measured by RuleOfCool and RuleOfSexy, often times regardless of UnfortunateImplications.
** After her ''Turkey Shoot'' review, she has a salute to the "crazy, aggressive, rapist, predatory, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking crossbow-obsessed]] lady". She also refers to this type of character as a 'dyke icon' or Dykon.
** The Feministsas in {{Zsazsa Zaturnnah}} as well.
** The Androdyke Brigade in ''The Genderfellator'' who want to force everyone in the world to become {{Butch Lesbian}}s:
-->A lesbian fascist police force working for a lesbian fascist state. I seriously don't know If I should be turned on or not.
* PungeonMaster: As you can tell from earlier, she likes to include at least one terrible pun in her reviews.
** Combined
* RapeAsDrama: "Take a shot" turns up way more than one expects it, even in [[{{Apocalypse}} Christian Movies]], involving ''children''.
* RecursiveCanon: She does a review of ''Project Million'' and doesn't realize that she - or at least a version of herself - was in it. When they say her name she thinks the movie is talking to her, and when Aleister appears he doesn't seem to realize he was in it either.
* RememberTheNewGuy: Her complaint about the president in ''Left Behind 3'', who was not in the previous two movies, but is treated as if he was.
* TheRival: WebVideo/TheCartoonHero.
* RunningGag: in the ''Vegas In Space'' review, comparing the movie's (very cheap) effects favorably to those of ''Actium Maximus, War of the Alien Dinosaurs''
* SarcasticClapping: A 45-second long montage of clapping when a character has a breakdown in ''Film/ChoppingMall''.
* ScrewYourself: Oancitizen, Rap Critic, and JewWario decide to have a threesome while simultaneously possessed by Hagan's temporally-displaced psyche. They conclude that it's overrated.
* SelfDeprecation: Will insult her home country once in a while.
** This became a RunningGag in the review for ''Battle of the Bone''.
** She spends a good portion of her ''ProjectMillion'' review panning an [[EarlyInstallmentWeirdness early, lower budget version of herself]].
** From the ''Bonekickers'' reviews: "Fucking Northern Ireland!"
* ShirtlessScene: A minion has one in the ''The Dragon Lives Again'' review. The same shirtless minion has appeared multiple times in her reviews since, and according to the Flubs has his own fandom.
* ShootTheMessenger: Any minion bringing her news or updates has a fairly high chance of being killed, regardless of the news being good or bad.
* ShownTheirWork: Whenever Hagan gets to talking about religion in detail stands out as having research and genuine enthusiasm behind it. For example, when in the second ''LeftBehind'' film a world-famous Jewish expert on religion announces that Jesus was indeed the Messiah Jews were waiting for, Hagan goes into a detailed explanation about how Jesus does not fit the Jewish criteria for the prophesied Messiah.
* SlapstickKnowsNoGender: Applies to both minions and Hagan herself, usually by way of some ZanyScheme blowing up in her face.
* TheSociopath: Hoo, boy, is she ''ever!''
* SoleEntertainmentOption: PlayedForLaughs on "Children Of the Living Dead."
* SoundEffectBleep: Whenever she's cursing out the filmmakers of ''Ilsa'', most of it is bleeped. Subverted when afterward she says ''fuck'' without being censored.
* SoundTrackDissonance: During a flogging scene in ''Ilsa'' she says it needs {{Music/Devo}} and she starts to play ''Whip It'' Later when a character is being buried she plays ''Working in a Coalmine''. To complete the [[RuleOfThree trilogy]], when the American spy is snooping around she plays ''Secret Agent Man''
** She sets an overly long fight scene in ''The Man from Hong Kong'' to [[Series/TheBennyHillShow Yakety Sax]].
** The [[spoiler:"Feel free to commit suicide"]] segment of the Intermedio review.
* SpecialEffectFailure:[[invoked]] A particularly bad head-smashing scene in ''Schizophreniac the Whore Mangler'' causes her to burst out laughing.
* StableTimeLoop: Her review of "Children of the Living Dead.
* StalkingIsLove: After viewing a stalkee and stalker having sex in ''Raspberry Reich'' she tries another field test (see family unfriendly aesop) of this in real life, with poorer results.
* TheStarscream: Views "Adam Ant" looking guy as this in ''Rats'', to the extent that she redubs him and the leader of the group's dialogue with a lot of the exchanges between Megatron and Starscream.
** ''Teddy''. [[spoiler: Actually Lord Ted, from AnotherDimension]].
* {{Sting}}: Uses the dramatic sting from ''Film/FlashGordon'', usually to mock this trope.
** Parodied when her Dun-Dun-Dun Minion gets over-zealous with the dramatic stings in her ''Starrbooty'' review. She ultimately ends up [[ComedicSociopathy stabbing him.]]
* StockFootage:
-->'''Diamanda:''' "Creator/EdWood would be so proud!"
* StupidSexyFlanders: "70s porn star" Elliott Gould.
* StylisticSuck: Has a music video set to the theme song from ''Man from Hong Kong'' consisting of her miming to it while the minions play instruments from RockBand and lots of IdiosyncraticWipes.
* SuddenlySexuality: Is amazed during ''Raspberry Reich'' how quickly the straight characters turn gay.
-->'''Diamanda''': Perhaps [[TheFundamentalist Ted Haggard]] was right. [[ARareSentence You know, those are four words I hope I never have to say in that order again.]]
* SuperOCD: Guesses that God in the {{Apocalypse}} Quadrilogy may have this, noting that unlike in LeftBehind, people's clothing is left neatly folded after they are raptured.
* SurroundedByIdiots: This pretty much sums up Diamanda's relationship with the Minions. That and the [[AxCrazy random killings.]]
** According the 100th episode many of her minions are competent professionals, it's just the staff of her compound that are idiots. Hey, when you're a god personal security isn't all that important.
* TakeThat:
** During her ''LeftBehind'' review, she takes numerous shots at Kirk Cameron - from his lack of a career since the nineties to several shots at the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-OLG0KyR4 bananas debunking evolution video]]
** Describes Magwilde from ''BoneKickers'' as Ann Coulter if she studied archaeology instead of wing-nuttery.
** Fox News in general is a favorite target.
** As is Matthew Graham, lead writer of ''BoneKickers'' and the man who wrote "Fear Her".
-->'''Diamanda''':...thus cementing him in "Hagan's List of People She Wouldn't Let the Minions Piss On If They Were On Fire!"
** States that the fascist villain named Thatcher in ''Turkey Shoot'' still manages to be more cuddly than Margaret Thatcher.
** Throughout her review of ''Condor Man'' several jokes are made about OliverReed's drinking.
** After witnessing Jimmy Wang Yu's "interrogation" technique in ''The Man From Hong Kong'', Hagan quips she thinks he must have worked for the US forces in Iraq.
** In one review of ''BoneKickers'', she explains that Parton decided to piss off the French by bringing British wine along, and says 'Yes, that really does exist." Cut to a photo of bottles of wine, all with 'Cheap [Wine type] Wine' on the label, accompanied by 'Rule Brittania'.
** TakeThatUs: While reviewing ''ProjectMillion'', a film she ''starred'' in, Hagan not only fails to recognize herself, but consistently mocks her acting ability, asexual build, and choice of makeup.
* [[TalkingtoHimself Talking to Herself]]: Any scene with Diamanda talking to Aleister, or Nina Galas. She takes this one step further when her voiceover self and on-camera self both start talking to each other in ''Preaching to the Perverted'' and ''Film/{{Emmanuelle}} 5.''
-->'''Diamanda''': Voiceover version of me, are you sure that's the right part?
-->'''Voiceover''': Do you want to do this? I could stand in front of a camera, looking all glamorous if you'd rather stand here, yelling into a microphone for no credit at all!
** This gets taken up a notch in the ''Tribulation'' review, where voiceover-Hagan and the on-camera-Hagan take out the writer-Hagan, and they both end up being unfunny and awkward, not knowing what to do next because writer-Hagan is the one who writes how they behave.
* TemptingFate: Anytime she says she thinks ''Series/BoneKickers'' can't get any more stupid, it manages to top itself.
* TestosteronePoisoning: The guy Doug plays in the ''Film/{{Sextette}}'' review. By the end his eye is twitching from all the manliness.
* TheDogBitesBack: In the ''Eat The Schoolgirl'' review, Diamanda drugs [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Oancitizen]] with horse tranquilizers and removes his testicles in order to force him to review the movie with her. Unfortunately, this eventually leads to him going insane [[GoMadFromTheRevelation trying to analyze the movie]] and tying up Diamanda in the bathroom, [[ItMakesSenseInContext dressing her up as a snail]] and trying to kill her with an iron.
** JewWario eventually got fed up with her harassment and threw her out of his hotel room [[Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir Uncle Phil style]] at the end of the ''Zombeak'' review.
* ThemeNaming: Diamanda takes her name from musicians Diamanda Galás and Nina Hagen. For her AU counterpart Nina, the names are swapped around.
* ThereWasADoor: She uses almost these exact words during her review of [[Film/ResidentEvil the first Resident Evil film]] when the commandos burst through the windows.
* ThisIsGonnaSuck: Her reaction to reviewing ''Intermedio'', not just due to it being a bad film but because it stars Creator/AmberBenson, one of her favorite actresses.
* ThoseWackyNazis: She reviewed ''Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS''. She later reviewed ''The Black Gestapo'', a hybrid between Nazispoloitation and {{Blaxploitation}}
** Whenever she declares the names of these movies, [[DrStrangelove her arm goes up into a Nazi salute, and the other arm grabs it and holds it down.]]
* TooDumbToLive: The blond prisoner from ''Turkey Shoot'' decides when being chased by makeup woman to take a swim.
-->'''Diamanda''': Yes, for we lesbians are afraid of water. It's in the Bible, look it up.
** The minions count as well.
--> "You can have tomorrow off if you shoot yourself in the head!"
* TooHappyToLive: The beginning of ''Memory Run''
-->'''Diamanda''': We cut to a family. A happy family. A happy nuclear family. Surrounding a child in a bed no less. This cannot end well. *cue [[StarWars the empire theme]]*
* TwistEnding: At least twice, an insane, out of nowhere twist has turned an uncharitably tedious movie into an amusing one out of sheer insanity.
** Film/RazorBladeSmile: [[spoiler: The entire cloak and dagger vampire murder plot was an elaborate sex game.]]
* UnnecessaryCombatRoll: "Ninja Jester Girl " does one in TheStoryOfRicky.
-->'''Diamanda''': Thank you, that was very necessary.
* WeaksauceWeakness: As Robert Million discovered [[spoiler: The theme from Series/BarneyAndFriends makes her [[BrownNote fall asleep]].]]
* WeAreExperiencingTechnicalDifficulties: Occurs during the review of ''Memory Run'' after it's revealed that Celeste, the male protagonist's brain in a female body is [[spoiler: pregnant with his child]].
* WeHaveReserves: Played for laughs, Diamanda is willing to kill her minions for [[YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness messing up any task]] and the only time she held back her urge to murder a minion was when she only had one minion...[[spoiler: and when more minions are cloned at the end she kills the first new minion to be successfully cloned]]
* WhatTheHellHero: She consistently points out how much of an asshole the leader in ''RATS: Night of Terror'' is, since he set one of his men on fire.
** She also calls out God as portrayed in ''LeftBehind'' and the Apocalypse series.
* WhoWritesThisCrap: In the "Apocalypse 3: Tribulation" review, Hagan complains about the jokes, so she has the writer (portrayed by herself) beaten. She then has no clue what to say, [[CrowningMomentOfFunny so she does a little dance and mumbles through a bit of the film]] until she brings the writer back.
* WhyDontYouJustShootHim: She's irked in ''Turkey Shoot'' that Thacher doesn't just kill one of the prisoners because he decides it would be "too easy".
-->'''Diamanda''': Where the fuck did you learn the craft of villainy? [[AustinPowers Doctor Evil]] university?
* VillainProtagonist
* VisibleBoomMic: When it appears in frame during ''Memory Run'' she plays the ''Franchise/FinalFantasy'' victory theme. She then procedes to make out with what appears to be a bust of Shiva.
-->'''Diamanda''': I'm sorry. Every time I see a boom-mic, I have to do that. That's why the audio quality of my videos is so bad.
* XMeetsY: She describes [[Film/ResidentEvil The Licker]] as a love-child between [[Music/{{Kiss}} Gene Simmons]] and a [[Franchise/{{Alien}} Xenomorph]].
* YouKeepUsingThatWord: She fervently believes that "castrate" can also refer to emasculation, to the point where when a minion calls her out on it, she offs him before ordering that the word be redefined in dictionaries to refer to both.
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