->''You know his words will get you farther than the film will ever go!''\\
''Give him a moment of your time he'll tell you what's wrong with the show!''\\
''He knows what's good''\\
''What's bad''\\
''What's really bad''\\
''His face is just a sign!''\\
''Say hello to [[TitleDrop Confused Matthew!]]''

What is [[http://www.youtube.com/user/confusedmatthew Confused Matthew]] so confused about? Why so many people like so many bad films and TV shows, of course!

Confused Matthew is a film critic (or, in his own words, a screenplay analyst) whose main reviews consist of pointing out why he doesn't like the story and/or characters in films that were generally well-received by the public. He's also known to dabble in the various ''Franchise/StarTrek'' franchises and for this reason he's often compared (and paired) with SFDebris, and he's borrowed one of SF Debris's catch phrases ("Too good for 'em, I say!") in a couple of reviews.

His twin brother, "Stand in Stan" does infrequent reviews of his own. Stan composed the theme song for Confused Matthew, as well as his own theme song.

He now has [[http://www.confusedmatthew.com his own website]] and [[http://blip.tv/confused-matthew blip.tv channel]].

Be forewarned: he typically reviews fan favorites and [[SnarkBait never looks back]].

[[folder:Review formats]]
* '''Confused Matthew reviews''': These were originally the only type he did. Usually they consist of negative reviews of films that were well-received, and whose success [[TitleDrop confused Matthew]] because he considers them to be bad. Occasionally he may invert this with a positive review of a film he considered to be undeserving of its bad reputation, often a sequel to one of the former type (see "Mixed Reviews" below). These reviews are long and detailed, usually three videos long plus a summary epilogue.

* '''Requested reviews''': [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Reviews of films requested by his viewers]]. These are less in-depth reviews and are usually only one video long. Matthew is often seeing the film in question for the first time and the review represents his first impressions. Some of the requested movies later go on to have longer Confused Matthew or Matthew's Favorite Movies review, depending on how he feels about the work after the requested review.

* '''Matthew's Favorite Movies''': An inversion of his usual review type in which he talks about his favourite films, but in similar detail, with typically three videos plus a summary epilogue. These films were usually well received by the general public, but Matthew may like them for different reasons than the usually stated ones. His all-time favorite film is ''MoulinRouge''.

* '''Matthew's Mixed Reviews''': These are in-depth reviews of movies, sometimes requested, that he thought were [[invoked]] [[SoOkayItsAverage decent films]] but still had issues he wanted to talk about, like the Tom Cruise version of ''Film/WarOfTheWorlds'', or were sequels to movies he had previously reviewed, such as ''Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact'' or ''Disney/TheLionKingIISimbasPride'', comparing and contrasting them to the original films.

* '''Miniviews''': Similar to requested reviews, [[{{Dissimile}} except not requested]]. Matthew gives a short one-video summary of his view on a film. These are often films that are part of a wider trilogy or series whose other entries Matthew has given longer reviews of, such as the Matrix films. As Matthew has stated, these are for movies, good or bad, where he feels he doesn't have enough material to justify a longer review.

* '''Random Rants''': As the title suggests, Matthew rants about something that has recently pissed him off, not necessarily film-related but usually media-related in general.

* '''Observe and Report''': Matthew talks about weird things he's encountered in his daily life.

* '''General reviews''': Matthew, and sometimes his friends, make off-the-cuff podcast-style reviews immediately after watching a new film at the cinema. Sometimes he will follow this up with a more detailed review if his view of a film changes after re-watching it later.
!!Contains examples of:
* ActuallyPrettyFunny: He admits the hula scene in ''Disney/TheLionKing'' made him laugh very hard.
* ActorRoleConfusion: He will sometimes refer to characters by the name of the actor playing them--this is usually a subtle way of indicating he either regards the character as uninteresting and can't be bothered to learn their name, or thinks the actor is just playing themselves.
* AllLovingHero: In his review of ''Terminator 2'', believes that this is the reason why John Connor is one of the greatest movie characters of all time. Despite being raised to be a warrior, he repeatedly shows nothing but utter ''respect'' for the value of human life. Matthew points out that even as a kid, it's ''obvious'' why Connor is going to be the leader of humanity in the future, he's the only genuinely good person in the entire franchise!
* AllThereInTheManual: He really didn't care for the number of things in ''Iron Man 2'' that required knoweldge of the Marvel Universe to understand, especially Nick Fury suddenly coming in halfway through the film and the film acting like we're well aware of who he is, after just one brief scene ''after the credits'' in the first film. He ended up declaring that he rfused to see ''The Avengers'' just out of spite over this (he later saw it anyway and didn't care for it).
* AlternativeCharacterInterpretation[=/=]RonTheDeathEater:[[invoked]]
** "Timon and Pumbaa are the greatest Disney villains ever."
** Child Simba being an asshole and Adult Simba being a blank slate.
* ArtEvolution: He changed his old face icon in late-2008 to his current one (The One Above).
* AuthorAppeal: He has a strong interest in philosophy, being most annoyed by those films that claim to pose philosophical conundrums but he thinks don't (such as the Matrix sequels).
* SugarWiki/AwesomeMoments: He's discussed some InUniverse. When talking about "Let It Go" in ''{{Disney/Frozen}}'' as a great moment, he also said that he felt the opening of ''Disney/TheLionKing'' was a wonderful scene (despite how he felt about the rest of it).
* BerserkButton:
** [[StarWarsTheCloneWars Woodstump.]] Just, [[http://www.confusedmatthew.com/Star-Wars:-The-Clone-Wars.php Woodstump.]]
** Although he mostly keeps his anger in check (i.e., down to a state of mild irritation at best), definitely do not, if you are a screenwriter, have a character make two contradictory statements ''in the very exact same scene'', or you will be kindly instructed to '''''KEEP THE FUCK TRACK OF WHAT YOUR CHARACTERS ARE SAYING''''', as happens in his ''{{Knowing}}'' review.
* BiasSteamroller: He does NOT like the MarvelCinematicUniverse at all.
* BigLippedAlligatorMoment:[[invoked]] Not in the films he reviews, but he posted a video about one he encountered in RealLife: he and his girlfriend went to see a film, only for a group of people dressed in formal evening wear to arrive and sit all in one row at the front. When a trailer for ''Bratz: The Movie'' came on, they all stood up and applauded, before remaining silent for the entirety of the rest of the sitting.
* BreadEggsMilkSquick: In the ''Film/{{Transformers}}'' review, Matt says that he never watched the ''WesternAnimation/{{Transformers}}'' cartoon as a kid. Instead, he grew up mostly watching ''WesternAnimation/ThunderCats'', ''TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles'', and ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePony''. He [[OpenMouthInsertFoot quickly corrects himself with the latter]] by saying ''[=TigerSharks=]''.
* BrickJoke: In his ''[[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine Deep Space Nine]]'' review, early on Sisko is stabbed by a creepy Bajoran kid. Near the end of the review.
--> '''ConfusedMatthew''': Wait a minute... what the hell was up with that creepy Bajoran kid? Did we ever get back to that? *pause* ... the fuck?
* CampGay: He accuses Mel Brooks of thinking the trope in and of itself is a good joke, rather than having the gay people actually doing something funny.
* CatchPhrase:
** "Oh no, I'm sorry, that's what someone who ''wasn't'' retarded would have done"
** "AWizardDidIt"
** "You're better than this!" (shouted at a photo of the writers).
** Used to review ''Star Trek: Generations'' and ''Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End'': "Oh! No one take evasive action, or anything. We'll just float here and DIE!"
** Used in ''Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End'' and others: "Aside from (...), y'know what she does? Nothing. NOTHING! (...) all that crap, FOR NOTHING?"
** "So they fight. Fight fight. Fight fight fight. Fight fight fight fight fight"
** "What the hell kind of Jedi are these? Guardians of peace and justice my ass!" in the Star Wars prequel reviews. A variation on this was in his ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'' Season 7 review. "What the hell kind of Bajorans are these? Pious religious believers my ass!"
** "Oh, ''now'' [[something that should've happened much earlier in the story happens]]!"
* CausticCritic: His ''raison d'être''. However, he's been inverting it starting with his review of MoulinRouge and his new feature ''Matthews Favorites.''
* ClicheStorm:[[invoked]] One of this two main beefs with ''Titanic'' (see Very Loosely Based On A True Story for the other).
* ComplainingAboutShowsYouDontWatch: He walked out of ''CloudAtlas'' after half an hour, not willing to wait any longer to see if the different storylines actually did connect (which they do). He also chastised the Wachowskis for a line insulting critics, assuming they wrote it, when it's actually straight from the book the film is based on.
* CouchGag: The sign shown during the line "his face is just a sign" is different in every episode.
* CurseCutShort: Oddly enough, in his ''MinorityReport'' review, after he finds out that the film continues even when it "should have ended".
* DeadpanSnarker: To a quite ruthless extent.
* DeathOfTheAuthor: Invoked during the epilogue of his PansLabyrinth review. He believes that [[spoiler: the fantasy-elements were in Ophelia's head]] while [[WordOfGod Dell Toro]] says that [[spoiler: they were actually there]].
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: In the epilogue of his ''Film/NoCountryForOldMen'' review he refers to CormacMcCarthy as "a shitty writer who doesn't know how to write.''
* DistractedByTheSexy:
** In ''Film/TheMatrix: Reloaded'' review part 3, Matthew gets distracted by Persephone's cleavage.
** Admits that ScarlettJohansson managed to do this in ''Film/IronMan2'', though he apologized in a later review that could have chosen a better choice of words than what he used at the time. Then in a full review of the movie, he lost track of the review when looking at her.
* DivergentCharacterEvolution: [[http://www.confusedmatthew.com/Stan%27s-Corner.php Stand-In Stan]]. Stan seems to be taking almost the opposite approach from Matthew's with his own reviews: instead of criticizing movies of which public opinion is positive to neutral, he takes unpopular films and picks out the good parts. He also posts more general videos about religion and politics (especially where the two have been mixed). Though Matthew himself occasionally does this as his real venue is any film where he feels the love or the hate is largely unwarranted. See PetTheDog.
* ExpositoryThemeTune: ''See'' the page quote,'' above''.
* TheFaceless: Until recently, that cartoon face was all the visual reference we got on what Matthew looks like. Then Stan started posting live action videos and told us that despite them being identical twins, they still don't look the same (most notably Stan highlights that he has put on weight.) Finally, Matthew showed his face in a recent video but took it back down.
** More recently (January 2014), Matthew posted a live video of himself to his Facebook fan page, asking fans about their own opinions on ''Series/BreakingBad''.
* FanHater:[[invoked]]
** Lampshaded when he confesses he liked (or more accurately enjoyed) the first ''Film/{{Transformers}}'' (even though he stated it still wasn't good).
** Has put forward the theory that the reason most of the people who bash the ''Twilight'' franchise seem to be men, is because Vampires have always been mostly male, and depicted as utter badasses. Hence why, as he puts it, "Men ''love'' Vampires". This is the reason why the Twilight vampires, who are more akin to romance-novel love interests than creatures of the night, have gained such utter hatred from male audiences.
--> '''Confused Matthew''': "These people aren't arguing that Twilight is a bad work, they're arguing that "Vampires are ''our'' thing and you can't have it"... and that is ''fucking'' ridiculous!"
* FauxlosophicNarration: Matthew is a philosophy student and put his education to use picking apart the second and third Matrix movies to demonstrate that they fit this trope. Especially Neo's conversations with the Oracle and the Architect.
* FollowTheLeader: Another CausticCritic. While some of his reviews do go after soft or non-controversial targets, he gets his name from doing negative reviews of well-liked movies through a scene-by-scene analysis instead of reviewing the work as a whole. His negative reviews of ''Disney/TheLionKing'' and ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey'' earned him no small amount of hate mail.
* GenreThrowback: DiscussedTrope in his ''Film/KillBill'' review. Specifically he contrasts the original Star Wars trilogy as an example of the trope, while saying the prequel trilogy was just making a ''new'' bad 1930s science fiction movie serial with modern technology, rather than being inspired by them.
* HaHaHaNo: He does this towards the end of the first part of his review for ''Film/TheDeparted''.
* HateSink: Easily one of his least favorite Tropes. If a movie he's reviewing has such a character, chances are he'll dock it points for that alone.
* HypeAversion: [[invoked]]This trope is what prevented him from watching ''Film/PulpFiction'' until 2005. When he finally did watch it, he was quite impressed and it's now one of his all time favorite films.
* IdiotPlot:[[invoked]] Most, if not all of his negatively reviewed films have these, especially the Star Wars prequels. He even quotes an appropriate line from ''{{Film/Spaceballs}}'' when ending the reviews for episodes I and II.
* ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne: A post on Facebook mentioned a quote from Craig Ferguson saying that critics were usually stupid and drunk. Matthew wrote "I am NOT usually drunk!".
* KatanasAreJustBetter: DiscussedTrope in his review of ''Film/KillBill''. Matthew says he ''could'' suspend his disbelief to allow this in a modern setting, but this is ruined by the protagonist using a gun at the end of the second film (especially when her sword had been talked up so much).
* LeFilmArtistique: He despise these kinds of films, and spoofed it with Purple Monkey Dishwasher, which is just two hours of nothing but a picture of a guy sitting in a chair.
* PetTheDog:
** His positive reviews of ''Star Trek Nemesis'' and ''Film/IndependenceDay''.
** After catching some heat for getting... upset about Stephen Spielberg in his ''MinorityReport'' review, he made a point of praising aspects of Spielberg's direction in ''Film/TheWarOfTheWorlds''.
** Similarly, after criticising Roger Ebert in the same review, he praised Ebert's take on ''Film/BladeRunner''`s two different cuts (they're both good, and you should watch both and make up your own mind).
** His written review of ''WesternAnimation/WallE'' was quite positive.
** He also defended ''Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact'' and honestly believes it to be better than ''2001''.
** On his ''2001'' review, although he was [[SuddenlyShouting pretty]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis loudly emphasising]] about it being a movie "about nothing", he still praised HAL 9000 and professed his love for it.
** After savaging ''NoCountryForOldMen'' as the new worst movie he's ever seen, he makes sure to start the final video on it by telling the Coen Brothers how much he loves their other work.
** Matthew isn't a huge fan of both the movies and the ideas of Creator/TerryGilliam, as can be seen in his ''Film/TwelveMonkeys'' review and in ''[[http://blip.tv/confused-matthew/terry-gilliam-a-smug-odyssey-5396503 Terry Gilliam: A Smug Odyssey]]''. However, he spoke rather favourably of ''FearAndLoathingInLasVegas'', and his enthusiasm for ''Film/{{Brazil}}'' prompted him to end his review by saying:
--> '''Confused Matthew''': I highly recommend it to anyone interested in the artistic and the weird... and to Terry Gilliam: I'm sorry I told you to fuck yourself in the neck.
** While he thinks the musical numbers in ''{{The Producers}}'' are pointless, they are very well performed. He also notes that he hasn't seen the stage version, where they probably fit in much better.
* PolarOppositeTwins: His twin brother Stan takes almost the opposite view as him in most reviews and hold very different opinions of characters such as Ezri Dax.
* PublicMediumIgnorance: He describes anime as a "genre."
** He's corrected himself on past mistakes regarding anime only to commit future ones and then lampshade those mistakes to the point where he rehashes what he said when he first started his fan requested reviews of anime: he just doesn't get it.
* PunctuatedForEmphasis:
** When the 'Matthew is Annoyed' card comes up, especially for "IT. DOESN'T. WORK!"
** "What's the joke? THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"
*** WE! DON'T! NEED! TO! WATCH! THIS!, when something plot-irrelevant or gratuitous is going on for too long. So like, for instance, the whole ''2001'' review. He does yell a lot there, but realizes it: "I shouldn't yell at my viewers, I shouldn't yell at my viewers..."
* RealityIsUnrealistic: Thinking Kirsten Dunst's singing didn't sound like her, he apologized when he found out it really was hers.
** In his ''ManOfSteel'' review he complains that the scene with the school bus blowing out its tire is unrealistic, even though it's one of the few ''very'' realistic parts of the movie.
* RunningGag:
** In his ''StarWars'' prequels reviews --
*** "What the hell kind of Jedi are these? Guardians of truth and justice, ''my ass!''"
*** Consistently referring to Padmé Amidala as "Queen Oobadooba", Count Dooku as "Count Dracula", and Darth Maul as "Darth Time-Filler".
*** Referring to Palpatine by a different P-word every time he's mentioned
*** Later in his ''StarWarsTheCloneWars'' reviews, referring to Anakin as "Woodstump", Ahsoko Tano as "Sudoku Tampon", Asajj Ventress as "Ventriloquist", and so on.
** In his Matrix sequel reviews:
*** Referring to Locke as "Commander Angryfuck".
*** "What's at stake here, the running time?", whenever the movie goes into an action sequence.
** In his ''Film/IndependenceDay'' review --
*** Referring to protagonist David Levinson as "David The Genius Cable Guy"
*** "This is 'MURIKA!" (followed by clips of the song ''America, Fuck Yeah!'')
** In his ''Film/{{Transformers}}'' review --
*** Referring to Bumblebee as "[[Film/TheLoveBug Herbie the Love Bug]]"
** All fight scenes are generally described thus: "So they fight. Fight fight. Fight fight fight. Fight fight fight fight fight..."
** [[Disney/TheLionKing Simba]], [[Franchise/StarWars Anakin]] and [[Film/TheGoldenCompass Lyra]] are given this speech following their first scenes: "_____, our supposed hero and protagonist... IS AN ASSHOLE! I mean, he/she doesn't listen to anyone, he/she's not very nice, he/she treats everyone around him/her like shit, and he/she only cares about him/herself!" This was subverted, however, in his ''Simba's Pride'' review where he uses the same lead up to comment on how a character is ''not'' an asshole but instead quite nice.
** In his ''MinorityReport'' review:
** In his ''TheIncredibles'' review, regarding the darker/depressing scenes of the movie, [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids "Are ya having fun yet kids?"]]
* SarcasmMode: In his review of ''2010: The Year We Made Contact'', he periodically makes comments along the lines of "I can see why this film was shunned, I mean all it has are ''(list of positive things)''. But where's the ''(negative thing from 2001: A Space Odyssey)''?!"
* SelfDeprecation: In his ''Film/KillBill'' review he mentioned how being buried alive is a primordial fear to anyone, even if it's very unlikely to happen to him in reality "unless the [[Disney/TheLionKing Lion King]] fans catch up with me".
* ShoutOut: Near the end of his review of ''{{Knowing}}'', he summarizes the film in the style of The Colonel from ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus''.
-->"Right, stop that. It's silly. Very, silly indeed. Started out as a nice little idea about a small girl's paper predicting future events and now it's just got silly."
* SmallNameBigEgo: ConfusedMatthew got considerable backlash for attacking RogerEbert and claiming he was either an idiot or a liar for recommending ''MinorityReport''. And for attacking Stanley Kubrick in his review of ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey''. He did later apologize for and remove the ''Minority Report'' review, believing that he spent more time bashing Ebert than actually reviewing the movie and vowed to do it again ''properly''.
* SomethingCompletelyDifferent:
** "Matthew's Favorite Movies", a new segment devoted to GushingAboutShowsYouLike. He was concerned that only talking about what he disliked meant his critical position could not be fully appreciated.
** He has also begun new video series "Observe and Report", brief commentaries on strange things outside the world of cinema, and "Mini-reviews", for films which he does not consider bad or confusing but have a few things he wants to discuss. These often consist of the other films in trilogies where Matthew has made a conventional review of the remaining parts, such as ''Film/TheMatrix''.
* SoOkayItsAverage:[[invoked]] His opinion of several movies, including ''2010: The Year We Made Contact'' (which he nonetheless considerably prefers to its predecessor) and the Tom Cruise version of ''Film/TheWarOfTheWorlds''--in that case he praised the film for trying an original slant on an alien invasion film, following an ordinary family and sharing their lack of knowledge about the scale of the invasion, but added that there was a reason why it hadn't done before--it didn't make for that good a story.
* SpotlightStealingSquad: A large part of his criticism of ''Film/KillBill'' was based on the fact that an inordinately large part of the first film's running time was devoted to the backstory of Lucy Liu's character, whom he did not consider to be at all important to the film.
* SurprisinglyImprovedSequel: He thought ''Lion King 2'' and ''2010'' were good movies, while he greatly disliked both originals.[[invoked]]
* TakeThat: Matthew's sarcastic comments on the differences between ''2001'' and ''2010'' in the latter's review.
* TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot: In his review for ''2010: The Year We Made Contact'', he says it would have been more interesting for HAL to come to grips with what he did in the first film rather than have it conveniently turn out that he had his memories wiped after his confrontation with Dave. [[invoked]]
* TropesAreNotBad[=/=]TropesAreNotGood:
** Has made this point repeatedly in some of his more recent reviews. For example, in his review of MoulinRouge he pointed out that his problem with the easy romance in ''Disney/TheLionKing'' was not that he dislikes loves at first sight, but that (he feels) it didn't fit in or contribute to the story and he actually likes the trope too much to see it used incorrectly.
** Much of his criticism of ''2001'' was based on its interpretive nature, and he later reviewed ''PansLabyrinth'' as an example of a film which (in his view) uses an interpretive conclusion very well.
* TrueArtIsIncomprehensible:
** Clearly his single biggest pet peeve. Two of his three loudest angriest reviews have been about this attitude or its variations.[[invoked]]
** He's not a huge fan of things that would be covered under WhatDoYouMeanItsNotDidactic or EveryoneIsJesusInPurgatory.[[invoked]] He generally rejects the idea that a movie has any meaning other than what is obviously presented. If the movie has to be heavily analysed to grasp some meaning, then he feels that the meaning is likely just made up.
* VillainBall: His viewpoint on Biff in ''Film/BackToTheFuture Part II'' and Cal from ''Film/{{Titanic 1997}}''.
* VeryLooselyBasedOnATrueStory: He took issue with the way in which ''Film/{{Titanic 1997}}'' played fast and loose with the actual events, feeling that a very real human tragedy was overshadowed by a hackneyed love story. He also considered the film's fabrications such as the wholly undeserved HistoricalVillainUpgrade of William Murdoch and Third Class passengers not being allowed on the lifeboats to be very offensive.
* WhatTheHellHero: Calls Rhodey out on this in ''Film/IronMan2'', pointing out that even if he's worried about Tony Stark accidentally harming someone while drunk in the Iron Man suit, intentionally stealing a spare suit and starting a robot fight is most likely end with someone getting either killed or injured.
* WhoIsThisGuyAgain: A RunningGag in the ''Film/XMenTheLastStand'' review has Matthew himself acting this way towards Angel.
* YouKeepUsingThatWord: While he uses the term protagonist, he is frequently unsure about its use because the characters he's describing are jerks, assholes, or borderline (if not outright) villains. However, 'protagonist' simply means main character. The existence of the tropes VillainProtagonist and HeroAntagonist shows that good people and bad people are not always protagonists and antagonists respectively.