[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/boardjames_corrected2_9963.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:[[JustForPun When Board James is bored, he plays some board games]].]]

Board James is a Cinemassacre WebOriginal series, created and starred by Creator/JamesRolfe, famous for his work with [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd the Nerd]] and [[WebVideo/YouKnowWhatsBullshit the Bullshit Man]]. You can find the series [[http://cinemassacre.com/category/boardjames/ here]]

[[AsHimself Board James]] is a pretty normal guy, a kid at heart who collects a great variety of BoardGames as a hobby, and reviews them. Sometimes Board James does his reviews alone, and from time to time he's joined by his [[VitriolicBestBuds vitriolic best bud]] [[{{Jerkass}} Motherfucker Mike]], who is a bit of a cheater when it comes to playing the games. And when there's a place on the board for an extra player, there's [[TheJinx Bad Luck Bootsy]], an annoying but friendly guy who is prone to ruining the games and who causes nothing but trouble to James, Mike and himself.

It started out as a SpinOff of WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd, but it's now its own series. It follows the same MidReviewSketchShow formula that the [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd AVGN]] helped popularize, but features a much less [[CausticCritic ''enraged'']] style of reviewing, often focusing on the good too.

The show was put on hiatus in April 2013 after the Dream Phone episode. [[spoiler:[[WordOfGod According to James]], he has plans on continuing the series with a new season, but has fallen behind due to working on the AVGN movie. He says production will begin in fall 2014 at the very least.]]

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[[folder: BoardGames reviewed (in chronological order)]]
!2009
* ''Mouse Trap''
* ''TabletopGame/{{Dragonstrike}}''
* ''Crossfire''
* ''Weapons and Warriors''

!2010
* ''Fireball Island''
* ''Deadly Danger Dungeon'' (a homemade board game)
* ''TabletopGame/HeroQuest''
* ''Mr. Bucket''
* ''Tornado Rex''

!2011
* ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Games''
** ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cowabunga Pizza Toss''
** ''Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles''
** ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Power''
* ''Key to the Kingdom''
* ''Donut Disaster''
* ''Loopin´┐Ż Louie''
* ''Monster Madness''
* ''Battle Masters''
* ''Splat!''

!2012
* ''Doggie Doo''
* ''Shark Attack''

!2013
* ''Dream Phone''
[[/folder]]

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!!Tropes:

* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: Deadly Danger Dungeon
* AllThereInTheManual: Some of the games reviewed suffer from this.
** The Dragonstrike game has its story explained in a movie-like instructional VHS that came with the game.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking:
-->'''Motherfucker Mike:''' What are those tiles? What's up with the bushes? What's the other deck of cards? What are that circle of explosion pieces? How many times can this guy get hit? Can this guy move first or does he attack first? ''How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?'' The world may never know...
* AudienceAlienatingPremise: InUniverse, James says this about Dragonstrike. Whenever he tried to find people to play the game with, they would be put off by the seeming complexity of the rules.
* BerserkButton: [[spoiler:After the Dream Phone episode, try bringing up James' dead friends and see how he reacts.]] [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd The Nerd]] figured this out the hard way.
* [[spoiler:BetterManhandleTheMurderWeapon]]: In the Dream Phone review, [[spoiler:after finding Mike dead, James pulls the knife out of his back.]]
* BewareTheNiceOnes: As seen at the end of the "Shark Attack" episode, James can get really irate when pissed off.
* BittersweetEnding: The Dream Phone episode. [[spoiler:James manages to defeat the evil Dream Phone, but at the cost of Bootsy and Mike's lives, without even mentioning [[SanitySlippage the effect it had on James.]]]]
* BoardGames: [[CaptainObvious No shit.]]
* BottomlessPits / SpikesOfDoom : Deadly Danger Dungeon is [[OneHitKill full of them.]]
-->'''Board James:''' That's an instant death. You fell in the spikes.
-->'''Motherfucker Mike:''' But I fell in the spikes already up here.
-->'''Board James:''' [[BiggerIsBetter These spikes are bigger.]]
* BreakingTheFourthWall: In the review of Dragonstrike there's a moment in which James starts acting as if he was playing the game with a bunch of friends and starts assigning characters to each one, he then points out to the camera and claims "And you'll be the wizard!".
* ButtonMashing: Pretty much the whole Crossfire battle.
* CallBack: In the "Shark Attack" episode, Mike and Bootsy [[RageBreakingPoint piss James off]] and he angrily gives them a foul-mouthed TheReasonYouSuckSpeech and leaves in a bout of anger. In James' appearance in an AVGN episode, the Nerd [[spoiler:[[BerserkButton brings up his dead friends (this is post-''Dream Phone'', mind you)]]]] and James leaves in a bout of profane anger.
* TheCameo: Board James makes a Cameo in the [[{{Kickassia}} TGWTG second anniversary, in which he teaches the characters how to play Risk.]]
** In the Loupin' Louie episode, James invites people that were at PAX 2011, including Kevin Finn, A.J. Locascio, [[WebVideo/TheAngryJoeShow Angry Joe]], WebVideo/TheHappyVideoGameNerd and Pedobear.
* TheCastShowoff: It's a pretty safe bet that the entire reason for Bad Luck Bootsy's existence is to give Bootsy Spankins, P.I. the opportunity write filk songs about board games.
* CatchPhrase: Subverted; the first regular episode ("Dragonstrike") has Board James introduce himself with the phrase "Hey! I'm Board James. [[JustForPun And when Board James is bored, I play some board games]]." However, he only ever said it that one time.
* ClusterFBomb: Like the other Cinemassacre web originals, the characters from Board James don't shy away from swearing every once in a while.
* ContinuityNod: In the Donut Disaster episode, Bootsy is using an eye-patch because of [[EyeScream the little accident he had in the Tornado Rex episode.]]
** He splashed hot burning coffee all over his face at the end of the Donut Disaster episode, and in the Splat! episode we see him wearing the eye-patch ''and'' bandages over his face.
** In the Dream Phone episode, the person on the other end of the line says for James to guess his name if he had [[SomethingOnlyTheyWouldSay the balls]]. We can't blame him for seeing if Mr. Bucket was the one stalking him. [[spoiler:He wasn't.]]
** Again from the Dream Phone episode, Bootsy mentions that his dick was bitten off by a shark. This is a reference to the Shark Attack episode, in which he tried to make love to the plastic shark from the game.
* CoversAlwaysLie: In the episode about Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles games, as the games were more visually atractive and better illustrated the less fun they were.
* CowerPower: James has his moment of this when Mr. Bucket corners him.
-->'''Board James:''' Fucking pervert, get away from me! *Mike enters the room* Suck '''his balls!'''
-->'''Mr. Bucket:''' *turns around and attacks Mike* Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls!
-->'''Motherfucker Mike:''' AAAAAAAAAH!!!!
* CutenessProximity: The Doggie Doo dog had this effect on both James and Mike when it first came out of the box.
* DarkerAndEdgier: The Mr. Bucket episode, more or less, but ''without a doubt'' the Dream Phone episode.
* DeliberatelyMonochrome: The Monster Madness episode.
* DoubleEntendre: All the time. Guaranteed if there are any balls involved in the game.
-->'''BoardJames:''' It's very '''stimulating''' cause you're always '''grabbing''' the '''balls''' underneath your '''gun'''. You gotta keep '''firing''' and '''reloading''' nonstop. But the gun gets '''jammed''' all the time.
-->'''Mr. Bucket:''' I'm Mr. Bucket, pop balls out of my mouth!
* DramaticThunder: When James discovers Mr. Bucket under the bed sheets.
** The Monster Madness episode's full of them.
* DuctTapeForEverything: Used in the Weapons and Warriors episode while setting up the game. Because glue takes time to dry, and all is going to get fucked up again anyway.
** James seems to get a bad time keeping the pieces together with the tape, [[FridgeBrilliance the thing is, he's actually using masking blue tape, which has a weaker adhesive than regular tapes to be easily removable.]]
* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: The first few reviews would have James explaining the game to the audience. When he actually got to the game, Motherfucker Mike would appear as his cheating opponent. Eventually, Mike became much less antagonistic, and the rules of the game would be explained through conversations between James and Mike.
* EdutainmentShow: His reviews may fall into this category, much more than the [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd AVGN]] ones.
* EvilPhone: Dream Phone is much more than just a girly game...
* EpisodeTitleCard: Drawn by no other than Mike Matei, as with the [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd AVGN]].
* EyeScream: Bad Luck Bootsy.[[spoiler:At the end of the Tornado Rex review, where he sends Tornado Rex flying, boucing off walls, and into his own eye.]]
* TheFaceless: Board James in the first episode. Probably to keep ambiguous whether if the narrator was [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd the Nerd]] or not.
* FanSequel: When he was a kid, James made a board game based on [[VideoGame/StreetFighterII Street Fighter II]]... and tired of waiting for the actual sequel, he made another one based on his own imaginary version of Street Fighter III. One of the characters was [[{{Dracula}} ''Dracula''.]]
** And the [[{{Uberwald}} Transylvania flag]] was [[BatOutOfHell a bat]], of course.
* {{Flashback}}: A very humorous one with James and Mike remembering all the times Bootsy has screwed up their fun.
* GainaxEnding: The "Shark Attack" episode, which ends after James reaches a RageBreakingPoint, yells at Mike and Bootsy, and then leaves. Not counting TheStinger, which still doesn't make much sense.
* {{GASP}}: In the Dream Phone episode when [[spoiler:James finds Bootsy's corpse.]]
* GuideDangIt: While playing Battle Masters, Board James had to check the manual before attempting any move. And even with the manual at hand, the rules were way too complicated and confusing, to the point that Mike ended up giving up.
* [[spoiler:GrandFinale]]: [[spoiler:Possibly the Dream Phone episode, considering [[WhamEpisode how much]] [[SomethingCompletelyDifferent it differed from the other episodes]], and that there have been no episodes following that.]]
* GroinAttack: Mister Bucket always goes for ''the balls''.
** And in TheStinger from the Shark Attack video, [[spoiler:Bad Luck Bootsy is on the receiving end of one from the shark. He now dons a hook on his crotch.]]
* HavingAGayOldTime: Discussed with the Mr. Bucket advert.
* IKnowYourTrueName: Whoever is calling James on the Dream Phone challenges him to guess his name, asking only yes-or-no questions. [[spoiler: It turns out to be the phone itself, and even though James figures it out, it still doesn't give him any power over it.]]
* ILikeMyXLikeILikeMyY:
-->'''Bad Luck Bootsy:''' I like my coffee like I like my women... [[{{Metaphorgotten}} with my dick in it!]]
* InternalHomage: Board James describes playing ''Shark Attack'' as "easy-peasy-[[MunkyCheez monkey-cheesy!]]"
* IronicNurseryRhyme: Mr. Bucket's childish jingle.
* ItWontTurnOff: Poor Board James swears he turned off Mr. Bucket before going to sleep...
-->'''James:''' I turned you off!
-->'''Mr. Bucket:''' [[DoubleEntendre But you turn me on!]]
** The same thing happens with the Dream Phone.
* LimitedWardrobe: Averted. Unlike [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd the Nerd]], James wears a different shirt and baseball cap in each episode; however, they're always related to video games, comics or movies.
* LiveEpisode: Loupin' Louie episode was recorded live at PAX 2011.
* LoadsAndLoadsOfRules: Some of the board games, particularly Heroquest and Battle Masters (and how!), which were made by the same creators by the way.
* LuckBasedMission: Deadly Danger Dungeon. Even playing the fan-retooled version that's [[UnwinnableByMistake actually beatable]] will kill you over and over and over...
* {{Metaphorgotten}}:
-->'''Bad Luck Bootsy:''' I like my coffee like I like my women... with my dick in it!.
* {{Montages}}: One appears in the "Donut Disaster" video when James recalls all the previous times Bad Luck Bootsy ruined their board games with his bad luck.
* MoodWhiplash: The Dream Phone episode goes from your average ''Board James'' episode to [[spoiler:a murder mystery!]]
* MundaneMadeAwesome:
** Board James narrates his games as if they were epic adventures, and not just a man moving figurines across a cardboard board.
** In the Dragonstrike review James tells about how he used to get very excited with the introductory video because it presents the game as something seriously epic, then when the video ended, he turned around to actually start playing and discovered that everybody had left the room out of boredom.
--> '''Board James:''' ...And that's what happens.
** In the Heroquest episode, Board James spends a considerable amount of time setting up the board as he explains the game mechanics, and after he dramatically reads the instructions for the first quest, Motherfucker Mike is so bored he asks to play another thing, [[DeathGlare much to James's annoyance]].
** In the Loopin' Louie episode, the music and the way the video was edited makes the game look really fun and dynamic. [[http://youtu.be/wzCLYKBIkps In the behind the scenes]] it seems like it could get a little tedious after a while.
* NightmareFuelColoringBook: Deadly Danger Dungeon board.
* NintendoHard: The difficulty level of the original Deadly Danger Dungeon game.
* ParodyEpisode: The Mr. Bucket and Dream Phone episodes are parodies of horror movies.
* PlatformHell: A game he made as a kid, [[http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/03/26/board-james-deadly-danger-dungeon/ Deadly Danger Dungeon]], can be summed up as Board Game Hell. In May 2010, it got made into a PlatformHell [[http://lordgavingames.webs.com/Games.html video game]]. The original was [[SchmuckBait scanned shortly afterward.]] [[http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/05/05/deadly-danger-dungeon/ Here.]]
* PlotCoupon: Present in some of the adventure Board Games, but played for laughs in the Deadly Danger Dungeon episode.
-->'''Motherfucker Mike:''' I gotta get the key before the talisman and then I gotta go forward and then go back and then climb a ladder and then fuck in...
* PoorlyDisguisedPilot: The way Board James started. Board James first episode was only called "Board game review", and it was announced like [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd the Nerd]] doing a review of the game Mouse Trap. Although the narrator appears to be dressed as the Nerd, his face is never on screen and [[CausticCritic he's not as angry as he usually is]]. Also, James Rolfe's wedding ring (which he never wears while playing the Nerd) can be seen in his left hand in some of the scenes, suggesting that it was implayed from the start that the reviewer was James Rolfe himself and not his Nerd persona.
* ThePrankster: One of the home-made games that appear in the Deadly Danger Dungeon episode is called "Mischief Night", and it's about a guy who plays pranks on his neighbors, the pranks went from throwing toilet paper in a yard to blocking someone's front door with bricks and cement.
* PrecisionFStrike: Bootsy's first two songs ("Tornado Rex" and "Donut Disaster") have one right at the very end.
** Board James's breakdown in Shark Attack. Despite the character's tendency to swear often, this time it was strong enough to take Mike aback.
* PublicDomainSoundtrack: The "Mouse Trap" review uses two classical pieces: "Blue Danube Waltz" and "Marriage of Figaro".
* RageBreakingPoint[=/=]TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: Board James always plays the nice guy who tolerates Bootsy's oddness and is oblivious to Mike's cheating, but even he had enough and cracked, reaching AVGN's levels of rage, after Bootsy took his Toy Shark [[AnythingThatMoves to fuck it.]]
--> '''Board James:''' C'mon--really, guys? This is a really simple fucking game. Why can we just play a fucking board game? (Mike laughs) ''IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY!'' Like, this is the most dysfunctional group of friends I ever had! You're over there cheating, you're over there--making love with ''the damn shark!'' I'm bored, I wanna play a fucking board game--you're fucking pissing me off!! FUCK YOU GUYS!! ''WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR GUYS' FUCKING PROBLEM?!'' '''''[[AtomicFBomb FUCK!!]]'''''
* RedHerring: See SomethingOnlyTheyWouldSay.
* SanitySlippage: [[spoiler:James seems to have gone insane at the end of the Dream Phone episode, after seeing his friends dead and being stalked by [[EvilPhone an evil Dream Phone]].]]
* TheScream: In the Dream Phone episode, when [[spoiler:James finds Mike's corpse.]]
* SeriousBusiness: The reviews about adventure games usually describe them as being really epic experiences.
** Some of the games between Motherfucker Mike and Board James can get very intense.
** The Dragonstrike VHS really talks about the game as a serious business.
--> '''Narrator:''' Feeling brave tonight? Brave enough to do battles with hideous monsters? (...) Brave enough to sneak around castles in the dark and chance being the next victim?
--> '''Board James:''' Wow, wow. I'm just trying to play a board game, I'm not looking for any trouble.
* ShamelessSelfPromoter: The Monster Madness episode is a promotion for Creator/JamesRolfe other project [[http://cinemassacre.com/2011/09/19/monster-madness-2011-promo/ Cinemassacre's Monster Madness.]]
* ShoutOut: To the AVGN's catchphrase, in the Deadly Danger Dungeon episode when he's playing his own games full of FakeDifficulty.
--> '''Board James:''' What was I thinking?!
* SillyWalk: Bad Luck Bootsy's funny little jumps.
* SlasherSmile: James does one [[spoiler:at the end of the Dream Phone episode.]] Its DissonantSerenity and [[spoiler:its hinting that James has gone crazy]] makes it all the more unsettling.
* SomethingCompletelyDifferent: Compare a regular ''Board James'' episode to [[spoiler:[[WhamEpisode the Dream Phone episode.]]]]
* SomethingOnlyTheyWouldSay: The person calling James on the Dream Phone challenges him to [[IKnowYourTrueName guess his name]] "if you've got the balls, and I ''know'' you've got the balls!". This leads James to suspect Mr. Bucket as the culprit, but upon finding Mr. Bucket still dead in the sink where James left him, it's revealed that the person on the phone (actually [[spoiler:the phone itself]]) purposely invoked this trope just to mess with him.
--> '''[[spoiler: Dream Phone]]:''' Come on! You can do better than that!
* SpecialGuest: There was a whole array of them in the "Loupin' Louie" episode.
** Board James himself also appears on the Nerd's "AVGN Games" episode, strangely happy and jovial as usual [[spoiler:as if he hadn't almost died and then lost his mind]], where he talks about an AVGN Monopoly game with him. When asked about why he isn't in jail, he says he used a get out of jail free card. [[FridgeLogic What?]] Anyway, he still blames the episode's events on the phone and says that he's completely innocent. Hmm...
* SpinOff: Board James first episode was only called "Board game review" as part of [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd the Nerd]] videos, but later Board James became its own character.
** Though, not entirely related to Board James, there are the 'Motherfuckin Mondays', a review show with [[AsHimself Motherfucker Mike]] as the lead.
* SpiritualSuccessor: Of the [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd AVGN]]. Board James is not near as ill-tempered and foul-mouthed as [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd The Nerd]], but some of his solo episodes are very reminiscent of the more informative episodes of the [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd AVGN]], like the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWltQ9UN5vE Swordquest episode.]]
** Also, it follows a similar MidReviewSketchShow formula the [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd AVGN]] became famous for.
* StockMonsters: The characters of the Monster Madness game: the Mummy, the Werewolf, the Frankenstein's monster and Dracula.
* StuffBlowingUp: As Motherfucker Mike and Board James play Crossfire, random explosions start appearing around them, just like in the TV ad for the game.
* SuperDrowningSkills: From Battle Masters episode:
--> '''Motherfucker Mike:''' What the fuck? You can't go on the water? [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd What is this, Simon's Quest?]]
* TheCallsAreComingFromInsideTheHouse: In the Dream Phone episode, Board James is receiving calls from someone who appears to be able to see his every movement, even when he hides in the closet.
* TheTelevisionTalksBack: Much to James surprise, the narrator in the Dragonstrike VHS can talk directly to him at some points.
--> '''Board James:''' I'm turning this off. *aproaches TV*
--> '''Narrator:''' Do not turn the VCR off yet!
--> '''Board James:''' Oh shit. *scared*
* ToiletHumor:
** In the Dragonstrike episode, the listing of all the types of ''"crap"''.
** The entirety of the Doggie Doo episode.
* {{Unwinnable}}: Deadly Danger Dungeon. Understandable as James invented the game [[UnwinnableByMistake back when he was a child]].
* VideoReviewShow: Leans ''very'' heavily on the show end of the Sliding Scale of Review vs. Show, even more so than the old school AVGN episodes.
* VomitDiscretionShot: After consuming massive amounts of Play-Doh, Bad Luck Boosty marathon vomits it out. Thankfully we don't see it.
* WhamEpisode: [[spoiler:The "Dream Phone" episode.]]
* WhamLine: From "Dream Phone".
-->'''Board James''': I'M IN THE CLOSET! HOW CAN YOU SEE ME?
-->'''[[spoiler:Dream Phone]]''': Well, you sure got a ''hold'' on me!
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