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[[caption-width-right:342: "I want you to know something before I die. I was ''awesome''."]]
->''[[InAWorld Once again]], [[CallToAdventure the time has come]] [[RagtagBunchOfMisfits for four heroes]] [[DoubleEntendre to straddle the throbbing heart]]... [[HeroicFantasy of danger!]]''
-->--Introduction to '''"The Lost Episode"'''

'''Acquisitions Incorporated''' is a ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' party starring in a series of online D&D adventures since 2008. A collaboration between ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'' and Creator/WizardsOfTheCoast, the series was originally created to showcase the then-new 4th Edition of D&D, but soon evolved into something of an improvisational comedic fantasy thanks to the fun dynamics between the players and excellent Dungeon Mastering by WOTC producer Chris Perkins.

The plot centers on the (mis)adventures of the eponymous Acquisitions Inc., a RagtagBunchOfMisfits banded together in a pseudo-corporate formation on a quest for fame and wealth. Originally consisting of TheLeader Omin Dran ([[Webcomic/PennyArcade Jerry Holkins]]), TheBigGuy Binwin Bronzebottom ([[Webcomic/{{PvP}} Scott Kurtz]]), and TheSmartGuy Jim Darkmagic ([[Webcomic/PennyArcade Mike Krahulik]]), they were later ([[GuestStarPartyMember temporarily]]) joined by a number of [[TheIntern corporate "interns"]], a full list of whom and their associated tropes can be found on the '''[[Characters/AcquisitionsIncorporated characters page]]'''.

The series began as podcasts, available [[http://www.wizards.com/dnd/podcasts.aspx through the official WOTC website]], before transitioning to live events at Penny Arcade Expo events around the United States, which can be viewed [[http://www.wizards.com/dnd/feature.aspx?x=dnd/feature/paxgame here]], [[http://www.wizards.com/dnd/article.aspx?x=dnd/4news/paxgame here]], and [[https://www.wizards.com/dnd/Article.aspx?x=dnd/4news/paxgame2012 here]] (as well as on Website/YouTube). All adventures to date are listed on the '''[[Recap/AcquisitionsIncorporated recap page]]'''. Another podcast was produced to showcase the newly-resurrected ''TabletopGame/DarkSun'' campaign setting, but did not feature the characters of Acquisitions Incorporated. Wil didn't appear, with Kris Straub subbing in, and Jerry served as the DM in place of Chris.
!!The series provides examples of:

* AccidentalInnuendo: [[invoked]]Happens a couple of times in the PAX live games.
--> '''Omin:''' So go bang on her!
--> '''Aeofel:''' Wait, what?
--> '''Omin:''' I mean with your sword.
--> '''Binwin:''' Huh?
--> '''Omin:''' No, I mean with a weapon!
** And:
--> '''Chris:''' It's been several years since you had to ''"mount"'' Cronk.
--> '''Jim:''' Well, I have a girlfriend now...
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: The 2013 PAX game gives us the gem "''You bluntly bash her bark-covered body''".
* TheAlcoholic: Binwin's father. In fact, it's a sign of trouble when he ''stops'' drinking.
** [[ItRunsInTheFamily And Binwin himself for that matter]]. So much that he carries around a brewers kit in Ark of the Mad Mage and gets seriously depressed when the party has to leave a beer-automaton behind.
* AliensSpeakingEnglish:
** In Season 6, the Drow girl speaks in French. [[LampshadeHanging Blocked by the DM]] when the players translate her French.
-->'''Wil:''' So, she said she wants our help to steal the eye?
-->'''Chris:''' You have no idea.
* AllThereInTheManual: The official WizardsOfTheCoast podcast did a few episodes about converting the Acquisitions Incorporated characters to D&D Next, which helps explain why everyone's abilities are so different in the PAX 2012 games. Among other things, the mechanics for Wizards were still in early beta, the new Fighter mechanics were very different, and Aeofel is technically a Cleric because an Avenger class/build hadn't been designed yet.
* ArmCannon: The eponymous [[HumongousMecha Ark of the Mad Mage]] from the 2013 show has a bright green gemstone set into its right hand. Said gemstone, when activated, fires a ray of green flame that does massive damage. Which turns out to be useful since the climax of the adventure involves [[spoiler: [[AttackOfThe50FootWhatever the Tarrasque]]]].
* TheAtoner: Parodied by Scott Kurtz. Upon first reuniting with Wheaton-Aeofel, he warns him not to step into an acid trap (like the one that killed him). Aofel states that all is forgiven. Scott-Binwin replies "Maybe now I can forgive myself" to looks of amazement, bursts of laughter and a standing ovation from the other players and the audience. The look on Wheaton's face is priceless.
* AwesomeMomentOfCrowning: At the end of "Ark of the Mad Mage", [[spoiler:Omin]] is made a Masked Lord of Waterdeep.
* AwesomeMcCoolname: Lampshaded, Jim Darkmagic.
* BackupBluff: Taking advantage of Percy's inability to perceive fey, Jim tries to do this in the second live game. It doesn't work.
-->'''Jim:''' Percy! You are ''surrounded'' by my fey army... of ''fey'' warriors! [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment They are all fey.]]
* BadassBoast: Aeofel, all alone in hell, facing [[BigBad Cetrine Ambershard]] and a Devil lording over a fortress full of minions and artillery, makes numerous claims of how he will extract a price in blood from all of them.
-->'''Cetrine''': Acquisitions Incorporated will be a footnote in the pages of history!\\
'''Aeofel:''' Acquisitions Incorporated will not be a footnote, Acquisitions Incorporated will write the book!
** Jerry/Omin is pretty good at these.
-->'''Omin:''' Percival, let me save you a lot of time. We're better than you. Each of us, individually, are better than you. If we all hit you at once, you will explode.
* BagOfHolding: The party acquire one in season 1, although it doesn't feature in later campaigns.
* BaseOnWheels: The Darkmagic family manor (which isn't actually on wheels; it "merely" teleports).
* BigDamnHeroes: Splug, the temporarily foe-turned friend goblin employee, pulls one at the climax of season 1 where he saves the party from another defeat.
** Done epically in the first live PAX game where right after the bad guy is taunting Aeofel for how his friends have abandon them, the party appears on a hell beast to rescue him.
* BlatantLies: After hiring Viari as their new intern, the guys try not to mention what happened to their last one.
-->'''Binwin:''' We will always, always... protect our friends.
-->'''Jim:''' Don't worry. Your safety is our number one priority.
-->'''Omin:''' "It has been ''zero'' days since our last intern death".
* BolivianArmyEnding: Never used in-game, but Jerry believes that all adventures should conclude with...
-->''You look up. It is a mouth.''
%%* BorrowedCatchphrase: "Aeofel winks".
* BreakingTheFourthWall: In Episode 6, Wil [[AsideComment deliberately mugs to the audience]] after pointing out a new feature in ''D&D Next'', in mock shill. And is then disappointed when the DM won't reward him with a bonus on his next roll.
* BriefAccentImitation: Omin, when yelling for the french speaking Danielle to find the switch that controls the acid trap in Ep 6.
--> '''Omin:''' S'il vous plait!
* {{Cliffhanger}}: "Dragons Over Easy" ends with [[spoiler:the party attempting to sneak out of Dragonspear Castle with a clutch of eggs, past a green dragon and its minions... only to run head-on into a ''second'' green dragon.]] This was a result of the PAX East 2014 live show running fifteen minutes over ''before'' the party had reached the final encounter.
* ContentWarnings: Most published recordings of the AI's sessions are prefaced by a warning along the lines of "This podcast features adults, using adult language. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned."
* CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass: The idiotic SurferDude, Rad Longhammer, is able to defeat a couple of guards while unarmed and [[WithMyHandsTied shackled]].
* CurbStompBattle: In "Dragons Over Easy", thanks to a combination of the DM's amazing rolls and the party's poor ones, the villain ambushes the party, kills Jim, and downs Binwin and Mrgn[[note]]They get better[[/note]]... ''before'' any of them can take a single action.
* DeathByIrony: [[BigBad Citrine Ambershard]] dies in an acid pit just like Aeofel did in her manor, much to his amusement.
* DefeatMeansFriendship: After defeating Irontooth and his lackeys, the only surviving goblin pledges his loyalty to the party, if only so they won't kill him. He proves his worth later in the campaign.
--> '''Jim:''' Have we room for a new hire?
* DeliberateInjuryGambit: It's a common tactic of the team for Binwin to charge in and get surrounded, whereupon Jim drops a fireball on all of them, Binwin included. Binwin is not always in on this plan but generally comes out of it looking better than the bad guys. This happened so often in Season 1 that the players joked it was an all-purpose plan: "When in doubt, set the dwarf on fire." In fact by Season 3, they've learned to use it to their advantage, where Binwin gets temp hit points when he gets wounded, and Jim gets better stats to hit enemies if his friends are in the field of attack.
* DisposableIntern: Occasionally crops up, such as when Omin the CEO tries to magically convert their current intern into gold on accounts that they can always hire more.
* [[spoiler:DownerEnding: At the end of season three, the party hasn't helped Barton or Hammerfast, neither of the chief villains have been captured or defeated, and Aeofel is dead.]]
* DracoLich: Towards the end of ''Ark of the Mad Mage'', the party runs into a skeletal dragon, prompting Scott to ask Jerry "[[TemptingFate What is a dracolich, by the way?]]" Jerry's reaction: "[[ThisIsGonnaSuck That is a draco-fucking-lich, yes.]]" [[spoiler:It turns out to be just a reanimated dragon, not an actual D&D dracolich, however.]]
* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: The original podcast series, which was recorded to help teach players about 4th Edition rather than purely for entertainment value. Wil/Aeofel wasn't part of the party yet, the others were still learning the rules and feeling out their characters, and half the adventure is DMed by James Wyatt (one of the lead designers on 4E) instead of Chris Perkins.
* {{Elfeminate}}: The group makes the occasional joke revolving around this trope mentioning how Aofel is fey, or how they have a "don't ask don't tell" policy or how Aofel is a pretty boy. Wheaton (Aofel's player) for his part embraces and defends the trope.
-->'''Wheaton:''' Listen, here's the thing about elves: Elves are the Eladrin's hillbilly cousins. So I'll take the Eladrin that looks like a girl, thank you very much, because we deserve to look and feel pretty.
* EpicFail:
** At the climax of season two, Binwin and Jim are down, and Omin and Aeofel are in bad shape as well. Omin breaks out an encounter power, [[CriticalMiss but rolls a 1.]] With some divine intervention from Aeofel, he gains a re-roll and tries again. And rolls another 1.
** In the second PAX game:
--> '''Wil''': Oh yeah, so I run down the thing, and I land on top of the bear, and I, like, flip in the air, and then, as I'm coming down, I sort of, like, barrel-roll a little bit, and then I flip again, and then I come down here so I land just like this, so I'm flanking this guy. Yeah, and it's super-cool! And there's rock music playing while I do it, and I'm gleaming cubes on my way there, and as I come down, I use my Avenging Echo against him... ohhh, I rolled a 1.
** In the third PAX game, Omin rolls a 1 on his first roll while the others roll well into the double digits. That roll being a Constitution save.
-->'''Wil:''' Is he dead?\\
'''Chris:''' No, he's just very, very unconscious. Possibly for the rest of the show.
* FantasticRacism: Parodied when Viari's sword breaks.
-->'''Viara:''' Friend dwarf, do you have any forge tools? Not to be racist here, but ''your'' people carry, like, forge tools around, right?\\
'''Jim:''' Uhhh...\\
'''Omin:''' Oh...\\
'''Binwin:''' Wow...
* FilmNoir: Parodied when Omin is aimlessly wandering through the city searching for a way to get his powers back.
%% This needs to be motivated with more than irrelevant potholes.
%%* FourPhilosophyEnsemble: The cast fits it surprisingly well.
%%** The Cynic: [[TheLeader Omin]]
%%** The Apathetic: [[invoked]][[AwesomeEgo Jim]]
%%** The Optimist: [[BloodKnight Binwin]]
%%** The Realist: [[TheIntern Aeofel]]
* FriendshipMoment: In part two of "The Ark of the Mad Mage", a demon-slash-familiar tries to tempt Jim (a narcissist who isn't known for very sound judgements) with promises of power and treasure, to which Jim responds by [[spoiler:grabbing it with both hands, reminding it of how it tried to kill his friends earlier, and [[KillItWithFire casting Burning Hands at point blank range]].]]
* FullBoarAction: The Ambershard clan's doorkeeper keeps a gigantic dire boar as a pet. And a mount.
* GagPenis: The whole penis conversation from season two. Apparently dwarven penises are shaped like tuna cans.
--> "When women see it, they say it's time for some more chicken of the sea."
* GoodNewsBadNews: Chris enjoys doing this to mess with the players, for instance:
** To Scott: "The good news is, the dart only does minor damage. The bad news is... it is poisoned. But the good news is, you're a dwarf, and dwarves are immune to poison."
** To Mike: "The good news is, the raven takes full damage. The bad news is, it has fire resistance. The good news is: you still kill it."
* GracefulLoser: When the guys beat the Ambershards' gatekeeper, he willingly opens the only entrance to the manor and leaves.
* HonorBeforeReason: Two uses combine in the third season. First, ItsPersonal for Binwin when the party is raiding the home of Clan Ambershard, which had ruined the Bronzebottoms. So while everyone else wants to get the treasure and leave, he leads them straight into a confrontation with Leer, the BigBad. This leads to Aeofel swearing his Oath of Enmity on Leer, and once that happens, he pursues even when (both in and out of character) he realizes it means getting separated from the team. Which ends with [[spoiler: Aeofel meeting his end in an acid pit]].
* HopelessBossFight: The first encounter with the dragon cultists in "Dragons Over Easy" is so blatantly rigged against the heroes that it was likely intended as one of these: the cultists wipe the floor with the party before they can even act, sparing only Omin, who happens to be both the leader (for whom their bloody message was intended) and party healer (who can quickly get his people back on their feet).
* HurricaneOfPuns: All the "fey" jokes in the second PAX game.
-->'''Scott:''' This isn't the first time I have double-teamed someone with a fey.
* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: For the ''Will and Testament of James Darkmagic I'' campaign, it is explained that Jim's family is not from New Hampshire, but rather the much more fantasy-sounding "Newhamp Shire".
* KissOfDeath: [[spoiler:Jim instantly bites the dust when he brazenly kisses the succubus that the party encounters in "Ark of the Mad Mage"]].
* LinearWarriorsQuadraticWizards: After Jim [[SummonMagic summons a magmabeast]], Aeofel becomes a [[BattleAura beacon of Malora's might]], and Omin declines to attack because [[NotWorthKilling he wants to save his abilities for stronger enemies]], Scott complains that Binwin's daily powers are still just [[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer "hit things with hammer".]] He then goes on to finish off the boss they're fighting--with a hammer blow.
* LiteralMetaphor: In Ep6, the DM repeatedly describes Danielle's movements in terms normally used to describe Spiders.
** Wil calls him out on this. "I'm just saying, you are making very suspicious choices of words, sir."
---> '''Chris''': [[RocksFallEveryoneDies You take an extra two points of acid damage]].
* MundaneUtility: The first time Jim, a mighty wizard capable of great magical feats, uses magic in season 3. What does he do? He closes a door dramatically.
--> '''Mike''': I'm gonna turn that daily over.
* NeverLiveItDown: Invoked by Wil, who will never let anyone forget the time Aeofel was abandoned to an acid trap and died. Even after forgiving Binwin once, he picks it back up again.
* NeverSplitTheParty: In season 3, Aeofel leaves the rest of the party behind and is promptly [[spoiler:killed by an acid pit trap]].
* OnceAnEpisode: With the exception of the 2011 PAX game, every session since the third podcast has had someone fall in (and in several cases die from) a pit of acid.
* OneHitKill: In the "Ark of the Mad Mage" podcast, the party encounter [[spoiler:a succubus, who kills Jim Darkmagic with a single attack. Mind you, she was only able to do it because Jim kissed her.]]
* OneLinerEcho: During the battle with the Ambershard's gatekeeper both sides go all out with taunts and one-liners, especially between Jim and their foe.
-->'''Dwarf''': [[GenreSavvy First rule of combat:]] [[ShootTheMedicFirst wizard dies first!]]
-->'''Jim''': I'm not a wizard, I'm an entertainer, sir!
-->'''Dwarf''': How's your ''death'' scenes?

-->Then later on when the guardian's beloved mount has bitten the dust.

-->'''Jim''' How's ''your'' death scene?
* OrganTheft: Jokingly used when Omin gets saved by a temple priest.
--> "We had to remove your liver."
* PassedOverInheritance: Most of the Darkmagic clan in the second PAX game.
* PlayerPunch: In-universe, in a meta way. The [[spoiler:near-TotalPartyKill in "Dragons Over Easy"]] was obviously intended as this for Jerry--and it connected real good, because the first thing he said afterwards amounted to "We are taking those bastards down--and ''hard''."
* PreAssKickingOneLiner:
** Used by Binwin after the villain pulls a WhoAreYou before the final encounter of the second season.
--> '''Binwin:''' We are Acquisitions Incorporated and we are here to ''acquire'' your ''ass''!
** Also, in season eight, Jim gets one (subverted in that [[spoiler:he gets killed after saying it but before making any actions]]):
---> '''Jim''' (to Omin): Let me off the chain, boss. This dog's gotta hunt.
* PsychicStatic: Used by Vandal in season 8 [[spoiler:to conceal the fact that he is a dragon in disguise]] when Jim attempts to read his thoughts--all Jim hears are some silly songs a not-too-bright halfling in awe of the upcoming adventure would sing.
* RunningGag: Plenty of examples. Jerry rolling ones, Binwin getting caught by traps, no one being able to pronounce Aeofel's name, Jim setting Binwin on fire, and Scott getting his teammates killed. In the 2011 Live game, every time Jim Darkmagic's cousin Olivia makes a comment, Mike mutters "Shut up Olivia."
** Everything to do with Aofel's fatal encounter with an acid trap and the lingering trauma from that encounter. Chris Perkins makes a point to include more acid in subsequent adventures.
* SadisticChoice: In ''The Lost Episode'', when Aeofel is dangling from a rope above an acid pool where Jim is stranded, both of them almost botch a roll to [[TakeMyHand grab each other's hands]], so the DM rules that they grab hands but Aeofel has to decide whether to let go or to fall into the acid himself. [[spoiler:His phobia of acid ultimately wins over the PowerOfFriendship.]] Wil and Mike actually play this entire scene out over the gaming table.
%%* SayMyName: DARKMAGIC!!!
* ShapedLikeItself: When Jim is trying to describe the artifact that they're after in season 3.
-->'''Zethir''': Magic coat?
-->'''Jim''':Yeah, it's like a coat, but it's magical.
* ShoutOut: [[ShoutOut/AcquisitionsIncorporated It's a table-full of geeks, remember?]]
* SimpleScoreOfSadness: Starts playing when the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxLNP8l5CSc season 8 preview]] explains how [[spoiler:the party has lost Viari]].
* SurferDude: Rad Longhammer. You can't really tell from his accent that he was adopted and raised by dwarven nobles.
--> '''Rad:''' [[TotallyRadical That would be totally rad!]] Oh, by the way, that's my name: Rad.
* SurpriseIncest: "The Last Will and Testament of Jim Darkmagic I", Jim's cousin Olivia wistfully reminisces about how they [[KissingCousins "used to kiss in [Jim's] bedroom closet"]]. Later, Jim's aunt Wanda reveals that Olivia isn't his cousin - she's his ''sister''. So technically it's "[[BrotherSisterIncest Surprise Even More Incest]]".
* TerribleIntervieweesMontage: The Tryout videos in 2013, as Omin, Jim and Binwin interview candidates to take Aeofel's place in the party for their seventh adventure. There's a few {{Expy}}s of well-known characters.
%%* ThoseTwoGuys: Invoked by the guys when they meet two crossbowmen multiple times in Season 2.
* ToHellAndBack: The entire plot of the first PAX game involves going to a hell plane to bring back [[spoiler:Aeofel]] from the dead.
* TooAwesomeToUse: The magical scroll in season 2 ends up not getting used despite how useful it could have been.
* TortureForFunAndInformation: In "Ark of the Mad Mage", a miniaturised wizard trapped in a cage is being uncooperative, so Jim holds his new pet raven up to the cage to scare the wizard into talking. [[spoiler:The raven leaps out of Jim's hands and ''eats the wizard'']].
* VitriolicBestBuds: The entire team. Apparently no one told these guys that TrashTalk is generally meant to be directed at the opponents.
-->'''Wil:''' [''to Scott, post-acid''] I hate you ''so much''!
* WeCanRuleTogether: Invoked by [[spoiler:the raven]] in Ark of the Mad Mage.
--> '''Jim:''' When you say that you and I can have all the treasure, what do you mean?
--> '''[[spoiler:Invisible Fiendish Raven]]:''' Halaster's treasure! It's in his ark! Need the orb!
--> '''Jim:''' [''Takes the [[spoiler:raven]] in his hands''] You and I could have all of the treasure.
--> [[spoiler:''Invisible Fiendish Raven'']]: Yep! You and I!
--> '''Jim:''' 'Kay. [[PreMortemOneLiner You almost killed my friends.]]
--> '''Mike:''' ''... [[KillItWithFire and I cast Burning Hands]]''.
* WhamLine: When the group finds the Ark in Season 8, Omin asks Tymora for some spiritual guidance.
-->'''Chris/Tymora:''' I need you, Omin Dran, to fight and slay the Kaiju... or as we call it upstairs, [[spoiler: [[NighInvulnerability The Tarrasque]]]].
** Then another, funnier one, as Mike and Scott reveal they have no idea what that is.
->''Oh my God, you're '''horrible''' at this game!''