->''hai plz. this game has no instructions plz. plz go right. plz.''
-->--The entire tutorial

In ''[[http://www.lawlolawl.com/blog/games/i-dont-even-game/ I Don't Even Game]]'', a WebGame on lawlolawl.com, you are a nameless, genderless, [[StickFigureAnimation cartoonishly drawn]] kid bent on buying a cup of lemonade. To do this, you must take a dangerous journey through {{Cloudcuckooland}} full of puzzles, ninjas, and a buttload of LeetLingo. Be warned, however, for there is no turning back. Literally. The controls won't let you.
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!!I Don't Even Game contains examples of:

* ArtShift: Sort of. Almost immediately after [[spoiler: the nuclear core level, the background changes from solid white to a grassy, full-color meadow. With a lemonade stand.]]
* ButThouMust: There is no way to avoid dropping your key in the grate the first time.
** Subverted the second time you obtain a key... or, in this case, four of them. When you go up to the grate, your character automatically stops.
* BrickJoke[=/=]ChekhovsGun: The A key and the Q key. When you [[spoiler: come across the door in Level 5, you press the A key to open it. You do the same in Level 30, where you can't see the door.]] Also, you [[spoiler: press the Q key to drop the purse bomb early in the game, the baby a bit later, and finally to receive your lemonade at the end.]]
* ChekhovsNews: The Egg Media weather report.
* KonamiCode: [[spoiler:Timothy the Ghost asks to know the 30 Lives Code, i.e., the result of using the code in Contra.]]
* {{Cloudcuckooland}}: The world that this game takes place in comes complete with spikies, evul monsters that look like octopi, and flying fish.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Everybody. Literally.
* [[EndlessGame Endless Level]]: Lampshaded, then subverted at the last minute. In the same level.
** "i is beginning to think that this place goes on 4ever."
** Thankfully, [[spoiler: after 8 times running through the same level, you get to move on.]] Phew.
* FissionMailed: In Level 71, [[spoiler: you are sent back to what appears to be the very first level. But you find out that it wasn't ''really'' the first level once you leave it.]]
* ForTheEvulz[=/=]ObviouslyEvil: The ghost king. All of his dialogue suggests this. For example: [[spoiler: "joo cannot control!joo can not control!!!1!!!!11one!"]] And yes, that is exactly how he says it.
* HeroicMime: The player character does not talk. At all.
* HopelessBossFight: Try as you might, it's impossible to outrun Timothy the ghost racer. [[spoiler: Don't worry, he lets you go anyway, if you can tell him the "30 lives code".]]
* HumbleGoal: The player risks being enslaved by scientists, eaten by monsters, and murdered by pirates... ''for a cup of lemonade''. In fact, the achievement for beating the game at least once is named "Sweet Lemonade".
* ItemGet: Lemonade get!
* LiteralMinded: You have to be this in order to win. In Level 5, one of the many examples, [[spoiler: when the door says that "joo need ''A'' key, not ''AN'' key", you have to press the actual A key.]]
* PerpetualSmiler: The player character never. Stops. Smiling. Even when he/she's being attacked by a monster.
* RunningGag: Egg Media, which you can witness a total of three times in one game. In fact, there is an achievement for doing so.
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