'''''[[IncomingHam WELCOME]]''''', '''[[LadiesAndGerms ladies, gentlemen, and tropers]], to DarthWiki's Favorite GameShow'''...

'''''[[PowerEchoes WARP...THAT...AESOP!!!!!]]'''''

'''Video Game Round! Ready...GO!'''

----
!!Aesops Pertaining to Specific Games:

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:A to G]]
* ''Franchise/AceAttorney'':
** If you're a defense lawyer, you can totally steal random crap from the scene of a crime and use it not only to prove that your client is innocent, but that the witnesses, police, or even the prosecution are guilty. Usually, no one will complain about your blatant violations of evidence law.
** There are no honest prosecutors, only people who are driven by insanity or tragic pasts to knowingly and willingly convict innocent people.
** When you have uncovered the truth about who really committed the murder your client got blamed for, the first thing you should do is run straight to that person and accuse them of murder, to their face, out of court, without alerting the police first or getting a subpoena. [[TooDumbToLive There will be no serious negative repercussions for waving your finger in the face of a known killer in a place where there aren't any witnesses]].
** If an unknown suspect shoveled snow, that proves that the suspect is a man, because women are incapable of doing physical work like that. I mean, a shovel could have a mass of up to 3 kilograms (7 pounds); that's way too much for a woman to lift.
** Perfectionists are eeeeeeevil.
** ''Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney'': The best kind of court system is one in the hands of a senile old judge, with the assistance of a scruffy hobo who's a proven fraud!
** Not to mention, defense attorneys are easily manipulated by their rivals and mentors, and do nothing, while the prosecutors get fangirls and rock bands. Oh, and the criminals get better jail cells than your entire office. Even the total psychos.
** Forgery, even forgery that ruins multiple people's lives, is okay so long as you're too naive to know what you're doing is wrong. If you're a broke artist, feel free to manipulate your talented, agoraphobe daughter. Don't trust the nice guy who gives you a good luck charm to help you break free of your crippling fear of outside; he's evil and has a creepy scar. Feel free to leave your seven-year-old daughter with a defense attorney you don't know and who's probably going to be out of work soon, it's not like you could trust him with the one piece of information guaranteed to get you out of this mess. Obsessing over one case for seven years is just fine, your adopted daughter can be the breadwinner. And these are all from ONE case.
** Don't trust men with pretty hands or men with ugly hands, especially not if the same guy qualifies as both depending on whether he's pushing on his glasses.
** It's ok to scream, point, hit desks, and generally be uncivilized in the court of law, it's not like anyone's going to say anything about it.
** ''Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Justice For All'': If you're a prosecutor, it's okay to repeatedly [[WhipItGood whip]] the defense, witnesses, and even Your Honor. Come on! See that defense attorney who just defeated you? Whip him until you knock him out--only the defense can ever be held in contempt of court!
** An even better thing to do is to throw coffee mugs full of coffee at the defense, because that is reasonable.
** ''HOLD IT!'' (desk slam): Only the Defense can be disbarred for presenting false evidence! If you're the Prosecutor all that matters is getting a conviction, so the ends justify the means. So go ahead and fabricate, hide or outright destroy evidence if it'll help your case.
** Aside from cause and time of death, forensic evidence should be ignored entirely. All fingerprints are either planted or wiped. All final clues from the victims are forgeries. All items belonging to the defendant were easily stolen and used. The truth can only be reached from the initial assumption that the defendant is innocent.
** ''Never'' give anyone else a motive to kill you. They'll probably try. And in the best case scenario, justifiable self-defense is still a crime and your life will be ruined anyway. Then again, you can always make a friend in local law enforcement to ensure that he'll [[BigDamnHeroes show up in the nick of time]] to stop you from ever needing to follow through with either outcome.
** The best deposition comes from ghosts.
** If a gang member mortally wounds the son of a rival crime family, it will lead to said rival family deciding to leave crime (thus eliminating the competition) rather than seeking revenge and escalating the gang warfare. Killing rival gang leaders' family members won't put you in the rival gang's crosshairs or in prison, it will lead to peace and prosperity for your gang!
** If someone is a mob boss's son, it's safe to prosecute him, but if someone is a mob boss's granddaughter, it's not worth it to even ''consider'' prosecuting her when she's clearly an accomplice to murder.
** Perjury is, in fact, '''NOT''' a criminal offence and it's totally fine to take the witness stand again if you've been known to give fraudulent testimonies.
** If a teenager or young adult is kidnapped, you should immediately start to suspect that either the victim is a murderer, or the people trying to save them are protecting a murderer.
** The police are so incompetent at crime scene investigation that biased untrained lawyers and their child companions can do a better job. This is true even if they grab important evidence without worrying about whether they get their prints on it or that the culprits might steal this evidence from the unarmed "investigators."
** If the defendant is innocent, it will pretty much always be possible to get the real culprit onto the stand and have them give a confession or near-confession once enough evidence against them is gathered.
** If people a man loved were murdered, he'll become a brooding and mysterious AntiHero or AntiVillain, but if a girl has someone she loves murdered, she'll be a [[GenkiGirl super-energetic]], [[TheDitz bubbly]] companion who will receive massive compliments on how brave she is while she briefly cries, but then become a cheerful inspiration.
** If someone asks you to defend someone else they know, pay close attention to the suspect. If he or she is loudly declaring his or her guilt, then their innocence is assured and you can safely accept the case. If they say they didn't do it, though, they're guilty as hell.
** As a corollary, any public admission of guilt that isn't made on the witness stand is proof of innocence.
** Burglaring the office of the chief of police and publicly admitting to it will not carry any legal consequences as long as you win with whatever you found there.
** Rape never happens, and theft is rare. [[AlwaysMurder Just murder]].
** [[Administrivia/EverythingsWorseWithSnowclones Everything's ''better'' with Snowclones]] when it comes to naming court cases.
** There is no such thing as an average attorney. Winning the seemingly unwinnable case makes you an Ace Attorney. Losing it makes you undeserving of a badge.
** ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyDualDestinies'': If you or someone you know is about to be wrongfully convicted, go insane! The psychoanalysis that you will need to undergo will surely be enough to keep the defense's case alive.
** It's ok to take people hostage and threaten to kill them if you don't get a retrial for a wrongfully convicted person, as long as you're doing it out of love and you turn yourself in afterwards. The legal system is useless and can't be trusted, after all.
** If your goal in life is to save someone, to the point where you enter (or re-enter) your profession and become certified in it because of that goal... just wait around for something to happen. Something big will happen that inevitably allow you to save that person and make everything ok. Don't worry about the fact that the person you're trying to save is on death row and their execution date is approaching fast; you don't need to actually go through any back-breaking work to get a re-trial or overturn their conviction, because everything will just work itself out by miracle.
* ''AceCombat'':
** WarIsHell... for the other guy. [[MoralMyopia As it well should be]].
** Nuclear weapons are bad because men can only demonstrate their heroic mettle in the all-out combat of a total war.
* ''VideoGame/AgeOfEmpiresIII'': Indigenous peoples live to serve the [[MightyWhitey White Man]].
** ''The Warchiefs'': The Red Man can have them too if tribe his powerful enough.
** ''The Asian Dynasties'': Same goes for non-mainstream religious sects.
* ''{{Albion}}'': People who look different from you and live in an exotic place all have only a single culture, are primitive and have little impact on things, which is the reason colonists from the same place you came from who look like you have almost entirely replaced them where they were aboriginal.
* ''[[VideoGame/ArmoredCore Armored Core for Answer]]'': Multiple Genocide is A-OK a if you can [[KillEmAll kill all]] [[ThatOneBoss the good guys]]. The super company that [[ScrappyLevel set you up to die]] [[KarmaHoudini will even pay you millions if you survive instead of trying to kill you again!]]
** Applies to the series as a whole. Who needs scruples, you're a mercenary! Money is your new god.
* ''AkaiIto'' / ''AoiShiro'': Having hot girl-on-girl action with your undead auntie will solve all of your problems.
* ArTonelico: In the first game: If you're born into a situation where you have to be sing a song in a dark and lonely place for all eternity to prevent a virus from getting out, you're a whiny little brat if you protest ''in the least'' about it; oh, and the guy who put you in that position doesn't deserve criticism from his son about it. In the second game: conflicts can't be solved by making cruel people understand the feelings of those they harm, only by making ''those they harm'' be understanding ''to them'', and if a character doesn't agree the fans will hate her as a manipulative bitch.
* AsurasWrath: If its not working, you're simply not angry enough.
** There is no such thing as a problem that can't be solved by punching someone in the face.
* ''VideoGame/{{Bioshock|1}}:'' An Objectivist society with no sense of charity or human rights, will be a utopia unless it has a lot of technology.
** Isn't that what objectivism is about?
** Alternatively, as seen in the late game and in the multiplayer mode of ''VIdeoGame/{{Bioshock 2}}'': building a society on the premise of denying basic human rights to all but the wealthiest individuals is totally fine as long as you, yourself are the wealthiest individual in said society. If anyone ever starts to get more power and money than you the only reasonable response is to [[SpaceWhaleAesop turn your followers into genetic freaks and send them off to defeat your rival's own army of genetic freaks by murdering mentally retarded giants and kidnapping little girls]].
*** This sounds more like the intended aesop of the games.
** Don't bother doing the right thing because you're probably being brainwashed into thinking it's "right".
** Don't bother envisioning an alternate political or philosophical system because it will likely suck and not work.
* ''VideoGame/BioshockInfinite'': Baptism turns you into a racist, genocidal madman.
** Trying to overthrow a racist, oppressive theocracy is exactly the same as creating a racist, oppressive theocracy.
* ''VideoGame/BlazBlue'': If you love someone, then joining a tyrannical organization who stores two CompleteMonster while abandoning other people that loved you and you love them back and possibly murdering them for the sake of saving that loved one is a completely acceptable action you should do ASAP! In the name of love!
* ''VideoGame/BreathOfFireII'': It is better to kill yourself and allow the OmnicidalManiac to destroy existence as a result than to kill a friend.
* ''Franchise/{{Castlevania}}''
** ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaSymphonyOfTheNight'': Peace is boring. Why have the BigBad come back only once a century when you can bring him back again to have some more fun?
** ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaIISimonsQuest:'' Free free to resurrect a demon from Hell if it might solve minor personal medical issues.
** The 3D games and ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaPortraitOfRuin'': Battles to the death are just that. Don't bother trying to spare the other guy's life after you beat him down. The reaper's coming for him anyway.
*** Unless [[FantasticAesop you've already killed the reaper]]. Then you can spare anyone you want.
** ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaOrderOfEcclesia'': Anything worth accomplishing in life, whether good or evil, can only be achieved by killing yourself. Consider killing yourself so that better people don't have to.
* ''VideoGame/TheCatLady'': Feeling down? Your entire life has been ruined in an instance? Have no desire to go on living? Don't worry, here's a great coping mechanism: hunt down five dangerous serial killers, kill them, and everything will go back to normal.
** Sometimes - just sometimes - cancer patients will turn completely healthy for no obvious reason.
* ''VideoGame/CaveStory'': You will ''not'' get anywhere in your life [[KleptomaniacHero unless you steal from elderly people]]!
* ''VideoGame/ChronoCross'': When given the option to commit genocide and destroy an ecosystem [[AlwaysSaveTheGirl to save one life]], do it. The [[LaserGuidedKarma karma]] earned from such a caring act will negate most of the negative consequences. Besides, [[HumansAreBastards someone else was bound to do the deed anyway]]; might as well have an actual reason, right?
** Alternately: Go ahead and abandon a friend who got poisoned on your watch. She'll be back on her feet when the [[CuttingOffTheBranches branches get trimmed off]], and [[StrangledByTheRedString she'll still love you]] even though [[WhatTheHellHero you left her to die.]] And you'll pick up that cool guy with the two swords, who [[GuideDangIt for some reason would never join you otherwise!]]
* ''VideoGame/{{Civilization}}'': All civilians are nothing more than tools to be used by their political leaders for the purpose of conquering and subjegating all foreign powers, or at the very least achieving world domination. Anyone who tells you otherwise is an enemy agent trying to incite rebellion in you and your civic neighbors and needs to be executed immediately.
** Genocide is okay if it helps you take over the world. Mandantory deaths of half a city's population upon its capture, excusable. Razing the entire city and replacing it with a settlement of your people, strategically advantageous.
** Becoming extremely rich, exploring other planets, or haing lots if pretty buildings will cause you to rule the world, even if half your civilization has been overrun and twenty tanks are right outside your capital.
*** Speaking of pretty buildings, in Civ V they are the only way to enact social policies. Any civilization without them must be an anarchy.
** Gandhi was actually a monstrous psychopath who wants to develop nuclear weapons and blow up every other civilization. Especially yours.
* ''VideoGame/CookingMama'': Women shouldn't perfect their [[GratuitousEnglish speaking skills]] or get a career. They should just [[{{Kawaisa}} look cute]] and StayInTheKitchen.
* ''VideoGame/CrashBandicoot1996'': If you save MsFanservice from a life of slavery under a madman, she'll abandon you the second the game ends. Worse, she'll hook up with a [[CompleteMonster Complete]] [[JustForPun Mobster.]]
* DawnOfWar: Diplomacy is never a legitimate option. [[CivilWarCraft Even between sides who]] [[EnemyCivilWar should be on the same side.]]
* ''VideoGame/DeadOrAlive'': All women have large tits that defy physics, and all of them have no qualms about beating you senseless.
** Inviting these violent women to a secluded island with a volleyball net will cause them to forget everything about fighting and break out the LesYay.
** Ninjas might have katanas that can slice through helicopters or magic that can destroy an entire skyscraper, but they are too honorable to use those things if you challenge them to a one-on-one battle.
** Remember folks, the ''VideoGame/DeadOrAlive'' series is the only FightingGame series to ever be guilty of having the majority of the female cast be a MsFanservice most FightingGame series' would never use their female characters for FetishFuel on a fairly regular basis.
* VideoGame/DeusEx:
** [[VideoGame/DeusExInvisibleWar Invisible War]]: Loyalty and commitment are for wussies. You can swap sides in a conflict at a whim - everybody will welcome an inveterate turncoat with open arms even they are among the long list of people you've already betrayed.
** Leaving humanity alone and allowing it to progress naturally and sort its shit out is not by all means a valid option - no, if you want to save the world (not that anybody asked you to), you have to interfere with the natural course of things as much as possible.
** If it turns out that the Information Age took away our freedom and privacy, the only way to fix that is to plunge the world right back into dark ages and try again.
* ''VideoGame/{{Disgaea 3|AbsenceOfJustice}}'': Hell is where you are transformed into a [[RidiculouslyCuteCritter cute]] DualWielding [[EverythingsBetterWithPenguins penguin]] and become the slave of a {{stripperific}} LittleMissBadass.
** Where you will be forced to work 20 hour workdays, with no days off (ever), for abysmally low pay. All for a boss who will [[WeHaveReserves kill you]] whenever it's mildly convenient/amusing. Also, you will invariably be killed off by about day three when you talk about [[DemonLordsAndArchdevils Demon Lord]] [[LittleMissBadass Etna]] just a little [[RightBehindMe too loudly]].
** If you kill yourself to stop you own machines, which would have been easy enough if you just put on an off switch on them you can still get into heaven... providing your willing to do hours of humilitating community service in a green penguin suit and be laughed at by your companions.
** You can only persuade your ideological opponents [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney with bribes]] or [[ViolenceIsTheOnlyOption with force]]. More often than not, the latter.
** Throwing people is fun. Especially if they're your allies.
** Patience and hard work is for suckers. [[GuideDangIt Learning how to]] [[GameBreaker duplicate your]] [[InfinityPlusOneSword most prized worldly possession]] is where it's at.
** [[VideoGame/Disgaea3AbsenceOfJustice Mugging and enslaving people for personal revenge and ambition]] is a great way to heal past emotional trauma and [[StockholmSyndrome develop deep friendships with others.]]
** Polluting the environment is a good thing since it keeps demonic forces from taking interest in your planet.
* ''VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountryReturns'': The good guys are Donkey Kong and Cranky Kong, gorillas, Diddy Kong, a chimp, and Squawks, a parrot. The hypnotized animals are an elephant, a giraffe, a zebra, hippos, and a squirrel. These are all animals native to Africa. The Tikis, on the other hand, originate from Polynesia. Therefore, Africans are either apes or poor victims of exploitation incapable of fending for themselves, while Polynesians are resource-stealing savages that come from the deepest pits of hell (hence, the Volcano) to bring havoc across the face of the earth.
* ''VideoGame/DotHackGU'': Kids, never look for a legendary-rumoured item while playing a MMORPG - doing so will lead your or one of your friends to be trapped in the game ''forever'', and unleash a [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment menace that threatens]] to destroy the '''WORLD!!!'''
* ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins'': '''Never''' try to do anything good or altruistic. At the least, you'll simply screw yourself out of some cash or other goods that you could use. At the worst, you [[NiceJobBreakingItHero screw over a whole lot of people down the line]].
** Not to mention that [[MemeticMutation Morrigan will dissapprove]].
*** Never do anything selfish or egotistical, it just opens up slightly cheekier dialog options and [[NoEnding prematurely ends story arcs]], with much the same results.
** If a friend of yours happens to have royal blood, and no desire to rule, you must not only pressure them to become king, but "harden" them, because cynicism abruptly brings maturity that training recruits and fighting darkspawn will not.
** Champions who campaign to make the HeroicSacrifice all their lives make inferior Wardens, whereas the RagtagBunchOfMisfits you [[BoxedCrook abruptly conscripted and saved from the gallows]], will ultimately perform with utmost humility and competence.
** If you ever get trapped in a LotusEaterMachine, your fantasy will revolve around your commanding officer.
** Stay next to the [[MrFanservice dreamy-looking]] BunnyEarsLawyer during your first battle; he's inevitably the only one not being used as CannonFodder.
* ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII'': Attempting to compromise is pointless. Only extremists can accomplish anything. Also, the best person to judge the fate of a mass murderer is someone who is known for being their associate, friend, or lover, and expecting them to fairly mete out justice is not misguided or cruel in any way.
** The best people to watch over potentially dangerous people are those from an order institutionally prejudiced against said group. Their methods are always justified because if you treat said people humanely, they will betray you every time.
* ''VideoGame/DukeNukem'' Grossly objectifying women is just fine, so long as you commit xenocide.
* ''VideoGame/DwarfFortress'': If a neighboring country asks you to take it easy with the deforestation, it's your imperative to raze them all, and when those foreigners object, hack them up for good measure. Shave the Earth!
** Having trouble with deadly wildlife? [[KillItWithFire Flood the whole place with lava!]]
*** [[EverythingIsTryingToKillYou What's wrong with that one?]]
** Puppies are an acceptable, and renewable, solution to feeding the hungry!
*** NONONO!!! NO KILLING FUTURE WAR DOGS! Now, kittens on the other hand...
** Chaining people up, forcing them to breed and drowning their kids is good for the economy!
* ''VideoGame/{{Earthbound}}'' and ''VideoGame/{{Mother 3}}'': Fat kids are evil.
** ''VideoGame/{{Earthbound}}'': Beware of the trees... [[EverythingIsTryingToKillYou and pretty much everything else]].
* ''VideoGame/EarthwormJim'': Is some guy holding your hundreds of brothers and sisters hostage? Just throw a bomb!
* ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim'': Any problem can be solved by yelling at it loud enough.
** Police officers will kill you for killing someone's chicken or stealing a sweet roll.
** Animals all want to kill you, so the logical thing is to kill them first. Don't worry about silly things like endangered species or destroying nature's delicate balance.
** The only reason you should do someone a favor or make friends with someone is so you can get a valuable item in return, or so you can use them as enslaved pack-mules for your long journeys.
** Alcohol gives you stamina, so you should drink a lot of it. You will still be fully alert enough to swing a sword after downing ten bottles of wine or mead.
* ''VideoGame/EpicMickey'': Hey kids! Are you dealing with bullies or people who are in any way against you? Just grab some paint and throw it at them, after a good soaking they won't be mad, they'll become instantly loyal to you! Oh, and don't worry if you get some on nearby buildings or trees, you'll end up ''making them prettier!'' It's not vandalisim if it looks nice!
* ''EternalDarkness'': Evil demigods can only be defeated through the power of other evil demigods. So, if you're afraid of going to Hell and being tormented by Satan, you don't want Jesus. Start worshipping [[CthulhuMythos Nyarlathotep]].
* ''{{Eversion}}'': If you don't change the world, you'll be stuck where you are forever. If you do change the world, you'll make it Hell.
** Some might argue this is accurate.
** Your world is a lie and in reality far more horrible than you can imagine. But don't try finding out, because you'll turn out just as horrible too.
* ''VideoGame/ExitFate'': You're just an UnwittingPawn of your parent(s), who decided to live vicariously through you, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
* ''VideoGame/FableII'': It's quite alright to destroy the lives of five people, one of which is your own niece/nephew who will spend 10 years alone in a black magic tower, one who will end up abandoning her faith and losing her father, one who will become insane and want to reshape the world, one who will be endlessly stalked by the former and one who will become immortal and suffer a life of loneliness just so long as you get some nice real estate with a view.
** The second game takes place a long time after the first one, making it impossible for Sparrow to be the first protagonist's child unless (s)he was ReallySevenHundredYearsOld. Also, Reaver's not lonely, he's just a dick.
* ''VideoGame/FableIII'': Balancing expensive but benevolent social and environmental programs against expensive but necessary defense programs is hard, so just invest all your money in real estate until you can afford to fully fund both out of your own pocket. Autocratic land barons are the real cure to all of society's ills!
* ''VideoGame/{{Fallout}}'': You can balance out killing and enslaving good people, by killing and enslaving bad people.
** The world will ultimately be destroyed by Chinese Communism.
** Stealing, even from evil people, is bad. However murdering evil people, cutting off their fingers, and then selling them is not just okay, it is the right thing to do. This even applies if they did not [[TheDogShotFirst shoot first]].
** ''VideoGame/{{Fallout 3}}'': enslaving people who rape, kill and dismember for fun is just ''wrong''. Beating them to death with a sledgehammer is okay though.
*** It's more than perfectly acceptable to send a scared 19-year-old kid who just left his vault looking for his/her dad into the worst part of DC where super mutants are in abundance to repair the GNR radio all just so he/she can know where his/her dad went.
*** If your most hated person (who happens to be a doctor) just left the vault, it's more than perfectly reasonable to have the only other doctor in the vault beaten to death, plunge the entire vault into mayhem, threaten your own child, have anyone caught outside their bedroom shot on sight. All so you can locate the doctor's kid.
** Leaving people's minds enslaved in a virtual reality is evil. Terminating them all before leaving their former warden in the same prison should cleanse your conscience.
* ''FatalFrame 3'': All people with tattoos are Evil.
* Most any ''FinalFantasy'' game: Effeminate men are {{Omnicidal Maniac}}s and should be killed on sight before they can commit further atrocities.
** In more recent games, that would involve killing the majority of the male population, including the entire male cast.
*** [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyIX Steiner]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX Auron]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXI Zeid]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXII Basch]], and [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIII Sazh]] would beg to differ.
* ''FinalFantasyCrystalChroniclesTheCrystalBearers'': Stealing from old women and/or knocking them down right in front of law enforcement won't result in anything worse than the law enforcement knocking you down without injuring or arresting you or the old women trying to steal some of ''your'' money in retaliation. Throwing old people across the room and knocking them onto their backs on a stone floor will not cause any bone damage. If you shake down a girl so that you can steal the many coins fall out of her pockets, she won't even mention it when thanking you for retreiving her pet.
** Members of a race whose members are currently employed mainly in agriculture will always be poor no matter what.
** No matter how transparently evil you are, if you're strong you'll somehow become a General. Then, when the king "mysteriously" disappears, no one will think to suspect you or question your taking command through martial law "temporarily".
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyI'': Go to Japan androgynous and you come back to America a girl. Even if you were male before.
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyII'': The plot will still go on without you, so it doesn't matter if you die.
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyIII'': Four orphans are our only hope.
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyIV'': [[CainAndAbel Blood]] is thicker than [[OmnicidalManiac genocide]].
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyV'': Most any problem can be overcome by [[http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Gil_Toss throwing money at it]].
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI'': It's good to be the [[BigBad Bad]]. Even if you will eventually die a horrible, painful death, at least you will enjoy your job. Heroes do not enjoy their jobs. You'll spend half your time in misery [[{{Wangst}} attempting to sort out your personal problems]] which are apparently more important than the destruction of the world (This applies to almost any FinalFantasy, really).
** [[StrawNihilist Wiping out]] [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt entire civilizations]] [[OmnicidalManiac is fun]]. Anyone who dares to mention ThePowerOfFriendship is an annoying brat who needs, no doubt, therapy.
** On a smaller scale: chemically preserving, obsessing over, and devoting your life to resurrecting your dead girlfriend is A-OK!
** If you are a woman, don't try to do anything by yourself. Ever. It [[EldritchAbomination always]] [[EndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt ends]] [[SpookyPainting horribly.]]
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII'': If the evil exploiting corporation has a plan for saving the entire world from disaster that has even a faint chance of succeeding, you should sabotage that plan to comply with the last wishes of some dead hippie instead.
** Eco-terrorists are the good guys, even when their actions result in the death of innocents.
** Using the very limited amount of lifeblood of the world not only causes pollution, it literally kills the planet, which is a living thing. We'll stick to coal, oil, and natural gas instead, as a long-term alternative.
** Hey kids! Terrorism is great, especially against a power company that is destroying our environment! (Bonus Points if said terrorism cuts the power to an entire city making people freeze to death, preventing Police from being dispatched, and Firemen from being able to put out fires that would otherwise burn down an entire city and killing thousands.)
*** Don't be silly. The people of that city weren't innocent, because anyone who ''isn't'' a terrorist is supporting the evil empire in spirit!
** To be powerful, respected and desired by everyone around you, assimilate the personality and memories of someone you admire. Even if [[GoMadFromTheRevelation you find out the truth and it leaves you crazy]], you'll still keep your levels, {{Limit Break}}s and sword.
** Don't bother educating or training girls, since when they die all that work will be for naught.
* ''FinalFantasyTacticsAdvance'': Genocide is '''hysterical''', and the concept of letting other people be happy[[note]][[LotusEaterMachine in a fake world]] [[TakeThatUs that's no more real than a video game]]]] is crazy. Why? [[ProtagonistCenteredMorality Because you're the main character and you're always right![[/note]]
** If bullies call you names and throw snowballs at you, turning them into mindless zombies is a perfectly healthy response. Also, reacting to your feelings of helplessness and low self-esteem by making everyone in the world participate in gladiatorial fights governed by arbitrary rules with jail sentences as a penalty for disobedience is a-okay!
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII'': Never BeYourself. If some girl you just met starts nagging you to be more like her ex-boyfriend, you should go ahead and be more like her ex-boyfriend.
** Also, if you run into a problem (such as being psychically warped back into your [[DisappearedDad unknown father's]] mind, whatever you do ''don't think about it.''
** If your childhood friends approach you and ask you to help them kill your foster mom, and they also don't seem to remember you or her, don't ask any questions about this. Instead, focus all your energy on getting laid, and try to shoot your foster mother in the fucking head!
** The best person to run a paramilitary organization is an emotionally-stunted teenager.
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyX'': Everyone who is religious is either an evil hypocrite or an idiot who follows evil hypocrites blindly. The best way to deal with problems is with conventional violence instead of a spiritual solution.
** Destroying the civilization you grew up in, along with every single person you've ever known, and effectively committing suicide, for the sake of a girl you met a month ago, is A-OK and the heroic way of doing things.
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXII'': Always send a child to do an adult's job.
** [[GodIsEvil The gods are evil.]]
** Two wrongs make a right. And [[JustForPun two Wrights made a plane]].
** [[MemeticMutation You're Basch Von Ronsenburg of Dalmasca!]]
** It doesn't matter how capable you are or how connected you are to the plot, you can't be the main character unless you're an androgynous teenage boy.
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIII'': Attempted murder is the best way to solve your emotional problems.
** HotBlooded idealists deserve to be punched in the face occasionally.
** If you've been forced into doing something you don't want to, don't do it straight away and dick around trying to find a way out of it in the meantime.
** Don't worry if you've smacked up your sister's fiancé and emotionally abused your sister out of resentment, everything will all work out in the end after you endure the DespairEventHorizon, gain a magical pony and eventually take down the government.
* ''VideoGame/{{Final Fantasy XIII-2}}'': If something goes well for you in a seemingly bleak situation, then congratulations! You've just doomed the entirety of time and space.
* ''VideoGame/LightningReturnsFinalFantasyXIII'': If nearly every world destroying consequence, every time and space rift, every young woman dying because of their BlessedWithSuck gift of foresight, every LongLostRelative removed from the proper time stream, and granting her own personal life force to a suicidal man that also happens to keep the barrier between the world of the living and dead seperated is Etro's fault, then take your frustrations out on Bhunivelze for having to make the best of the situation as he can when he shows up to clean up the mess. Because he can't fulfill your desires perfectly.
** The memories and spirits of lost loved ones will only weigh you down, therefor it's best if you are forced to forget about them completely.
* ''VideoGame/FinalFight 2'': If your fiance and master get kidnapped, eh just let your fiance's sister, an old friend of yours and some boarder he hangs around with rescue them for you; in case if anyone asks why you did nothing about it just tell them that you were out training they'll understand.
** Oh yes and if [[VideoGame/StreetFighterAlpha you're traveling about trying to redeem your old buddy who just got out of jail]], [[ChuckCunninghamSyndrome feel free to ignore your fiance]] and [[VideoGame/StreetFighterIV have an awfully close fellowship with a exotic (and incredibly well endowed) young woman]].
* ''Franchise/FireEmblem'': Don't fuck with people who have blue hair.
** ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemAwakening Awakening]]'': It's fine for your [[VitriolicBestFriends so-called friends]] to berate you for being cowardly and running from battles you want nothing to do with, [[LastOfHisKind despite them knowing how horrified you are that your death will end your species]]. They really just wanna help you!
** It's totally okay to nag your potential husband about the mask he always wears and demand he take it off for ''your'' satisfaction, even knowing he obviously wears it for comfort reasons!
** In love with a girl who's in love with someone else and still hurting over it? Propose to her and promise to "heal" her of her painfully unrequited feelings, she'll totally say yes!
** ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemJugdral Fire Emblem: Genealogy Of The Holy War]]'': Only a woman with cursed blood will ruin the world if she has children. A man with the same cursed blood won't do the same by ''fathering'' any. According to the village gossip, that is.
*** Technically, for the generation in question the only remaining person with the cursed bloodline was that one woman (Cigyn). If the same message was applied to Deirdre at some point, it's likely that the speaker assumed that Deirdre was Cigyn's only child. The man's heritage was not really a matter of public record, especially in that part of the world.
** ''VideoGame/FireEmblemAwakening'' (and ''Genealogy'' to a lesser extent): Micromanaging the relationships between your entire army is totally not-creepy and can even be necessary to ensure that their children will have optimal strength and skills. Or put simply: eugenics works.
*** Related to this, homosexual relationships are pointless and are thus not allowed, depsite how much good chemistry the beefy chick and the sorceress have.
*** It's okay to be selfish and totally doom the world by refusing to kill the BigBad if it means saving your One True Companion!
*** Having your love interest turn your guts to pudding is ''totally'' awesome and not at all painful!
*** It's okay to kill and maim things as long as you smile while you're doing it!
* VideoGame/GhostTrick: Headphones are the root of all evil.
* GoneHome: Love is worth any sacrifice. Even if that means you must abandon your morals, your dream career, and your family.
** There's nothing wrong with stealing.
* ''GitarooMan'': You are a [[ThisLoserIsYou complete failure at life]] unless you happen to be a legendary hero. You can also be a two-timer just because the other girl is from another planet and looks like your crush. And punching the smug bastard who she's with means that you're a real man.
* ''{{Gradius}}'': A word to any evil alien races out there - when designing your battleships, their cores should be protected by several easy-to-destroy gates and nothing more.
* ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAuto'': KillEmAll. No, really. Anyone who doesn't have it coming will respawn if the paramedics don't save them.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:H to M]]
* The ''HarvestMoon'' series: The surest way to get people to be your friend is bribery. True Love takes even more of that.
** Everyone you know is a complete ingrate who will complain and lower their opinion of you if you give them a gift they happen to dislike.
** The most heinous crimes known to man are littering and cruelty to animals.
* "Halo": To save humanity from extinction from aliens or itself, you just need to kidnap children and turn them into super soldiers and then make another generation of mass produced ones from orphans to slow down the aliens.
* ''VisualNovel/HatofulBoyfriend'': Zoophilia is just awesome.
** A meta-example: Sadist necrophiliac cannibalistic genocidal Yandere [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking fat hohoho-ing partridges]] make the best and most memorable and popular characters.
* ''The HouseOfTheDead'': Researching how to reanimate the dead is alright if it'll save your son.
** ''The HouseOfTheDead 2'' and ''4'': HumansAreBastards and should meet death by zombie invasion--I mean, be brought back in line with other mammals.}
* ''VideoGame/{{Iji}}'': Killing is wrong! But if you have someone else kill the guy you need dead or just [[DrivenToSuicide drive them to suicide]], you're all cool.
** Killing the aliens who blasted your home planet into an uninhabitable ball of rock and are waging a campaign of genocide against your species, and, oh yeah, want to kill you too? [[AndThatsTerrible That's bad]], and [[YouBastard you're a bad person if you do it]]. Oh, and [[SanitySlippage you're a crazy person]], too.
* ''VideoGame/InFamous 2'': HumansAreSpecial so when given the chance to maybe save them of a disease by killing untold millions around the world including yourself, accept it otherwise you're an evil and selfish jerk.
** Alternatively go ahead and destroy society and even more untold millions, it's not like every DifferentlyPoweredIndividual, including yourself, is an unhinged mass-murdering jerk, social Darwinism works great!
* ''VideoGame/IWannaBeTheGuy'': Wanna be an all-out BadAss? Kill [[spoiler:your father]].
** The Universe is inherently unfair and will kill you at any chance it gets.
*** That's right. Everything's out to get you. You're not safe, no matter where you go. '''YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A REPRIEVE FROM A UNIVERSE THAT SEEKS NOTHING BUT YOUR DEATH.''' G'night, Billy!
* ''JadeEmpire'': Training awesome martial arts skills while professing a belief in peace and harmony, before brutally decapitating soldiers who are only fighting you because it's their job, is absolutely fine and not at all hypocritical.
* ''JakAndDaxter'': Men should study the fundamental forces of the universe, women should go out of their way to wear the most {{Stripperific}} costume they can find.
** ''Jak II'': Attempting to open new routes to explore will only result in a horde of scuttling bug monsters destroying most of civilisation.
*** Perhaps [[JustifiedTrope justified]]? Compare ''Franchise/MassEffect'' (backstory)
** ''Jak III'': It's OK if you've spent the entirety of history pretending to be all-powerful energy beings as long as you're willing to fire a planetary defense grid at a target that would gleefully have killed you as well if it arrived.
*** It's okay to reject help from your friends and then change your mind five minutes later! They won't chew you out on it at all!
** ''Jak X'': no matter how anyone else on your team does, if ''you personally'' don't do so well you'll all still lose, even if that rather explicitly isn't part of the rules. By extension, your teammates are parasites who don't do shit to help out, yet bask in your reflected glory all the way to the grand final.
** ''The Lost Frontier'': You should feel free to go from helping out the apparently noble civilization to joining forces with a pirate who tried to kill you not three days ago, just because your girlfriend says you should.
* ''KanaLittleSister'': Never ever have a girlfriend or your sister, who is long beyond her life expectancy, will die a painful death.
* ''KatamariDamacy'': Every time your dad screws up, ''you'' have to fix things for him.
** By rolling up every human, animal, and structure on Earth (including entire countries) and turning them into stars. But don't worry, it's not like stars are actually blazing hot masses of energy that will effectively incinerate anything on the surface of the Katamari during transformation...
** God will send his only son to crush you and your entire town to fix the mess that he himself caused. And if he's not satisfied? Oh well! He'll just vaporize you into stardust!
** ''We Love Katamari'': It's totally acceptable for you to ask space aliens to destroy entire cities and even entire planets just to give you something to look at in the sky.
* ''KatawaShoujo'': True beauty is on the inside. And on whatever's left of the outside, too. After all, even the blind girl knows how important it is to look your best!
* ''KingdomHearts'': Kids, if you're ever unwillingly taken away from your world and invited by a duck and a dog thing to have multidimensional adventures risking your own safety, don't even THINK about trying to contact your parents. They're not worried.
** If you encounter someone who [[UncannyValley looks and acts exactly like a human but somehow isn't human]] - such as if they're supposedly incapable of feeling emotion - it's perfectly appropriate and even heroic to kill him/her in cold blood, whether they've done anything bad or not.
*** Alternatively: Kids, if people destroy worlds and try to kill you countless times, manipulate you and steal the hearts of millions, and you make the sensible descision of trying to stop them, why you're a cold blooded monster! Sure, they were acting purely out of self interest, with no regard for the countless lives that would be lost, but they were [[DracoInLeatherPants sexy]], you fiend!
*** On the other hand, any ''human'' is worthy of forgiveness as long as they're a brooding, [[{{Bishounen}} androgynously beautiful]] teenage boy, never mind that he unleashed an endless wave of TheHeartless across multiple worlds and put the entire universe in peril basically so he could go on a joyride.
** There's absolutely nothing wrong with enlisting a band of foreign adventurers to destabilize a small African nation.
*** Stalking a 15 year old boy is ok if you're Bishonen, and will earn you fangirls who will write about your loving relationship
** Evil is an efficient method of transportation.
** If you saw someone wearing a black coat, it means they're from Organization XIII!
** Spliting yourself apart is a good way to get superpowers even if it slightly taxes your humanity.
** HumansAreBastards that want to do nothing but destroy your childhood and force you into RealLife.
* ''VideoGame/KingsQuestVI'': When dealing with a murderer, don't do things half-assed. Don't simply rush in, stop his plans and save everyone else. To be a true hero, you have to bring his victims back from the dead, too!
** And as in all VideoGame/KingsQuest games, it's okay [[KleptomaniacHero to steal]] if you're royalty!
* ''KnightsOfTheOldRepublic'': MindRape is all or nothing - either [[spoiler: install a completely new mind from scratch]] or don't do it at all; never fuck about with the minor stuff such as landing fees. (Unless you bring [[CoolOldGuy Jolee Bindo]] with you.)
** Knights of the Old Republic II: Everything you've ever done has only caused other people to suffer. No exceptions. Also: I'm right and you're wrong. No exceptions.
** HK-47: The best way to ensure you're awesome is to kill [[strike:people]] meatbags and gloat about it entertainingly.
** The Handmaiden: Killing and hurting people is the clearest and truest form of communication any sentient species has ever come up with.
* ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZelda'': It's okay to take bribes from enemy monsters not to tell where they are, but duly appointed (albeit brainwashed) guardians of the royal family must be killed for standing in your way!
** ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime'': A king should immediately cease contacts with an allied race because his ten year old daughter thinks their leader looks evil. It's also completely unreasonable for him not to believe her, when she says that some vague dream about clouds is a prophecy about how evil that allied leader is.
** ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaMajorasMask'': Do you want to be treated like an adult? Carry a lethal weapon at all times.
*** Impersonating people's loved ones is a perfectly acceptable way to help solve their immediate problems. You also shouldn't worry about the effect your sudden absence will have on them once you return to your own country, even if they thought you were their boyfriend or the leader of the tribe.
*** Even if you change shape right in front of people, no one will ever realize you're the same person.
*** If you encounter a dying person, you should remove their face and wear it in order to impersonate them.
** ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaTwilightPrincess'': People should respect your honorable qualities and fear your darker qualities. But they should ''never'' learn that you have ''both'', and certainly shouldn't believe that your darker aspects are being harnessed for the greater good.
** If you're TheHero, it's perfectly acceptable for you to break into people's homes, destroy their property, and rummage through/steal their personal belongings. [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaSkywardSword Cupboards, however, are strictly off-limits.]]
** Hacking up the local plant and animal life is a good way to find money.
* ''VideoGame/LeisureSuitLarry'': Never flush the toilet. You could drown yourself that way.
* ''VideoGame/LiberalCrimeSquad'': All Conservatives are fascist RightWingMilitiaFanatic's, and being a law breaking aggressive borderline terrorist Liberal is the only way to live free.
* ''VideoGame/MarioKart 7'': [[GameBreaker/{{Racing}} If everyone jumps off a bridge]], [[JumpOffABridgeRebuttal you should probably do it, too]].
* ''Franchise/MassEffect'': Remember kids, pragmatism is wrong. When dealing with difficult situations, always deal in the same broad strokes. There is no such thing as [[GrayAndGrayMorality gray area]].
** It's absolutely fine, and indeed a good thing, to commit wholesale slaughter on a specific race if it means protecting the galaxing from a greater threat. No one will bat an eye at this near genocide. Besides, that race was ugly, so who cares?
** No matter the proof you bring, no matter what happens, governments will not act and accuse you of lying, even if you save them from the threat. Only way to efficiently fight against the threat is a racist terrorist organization.
** All the armies, all the starships, all the brave people of all the united empires of the galaxy can change absolutely nothing unless TheHero saves them. Should anything happen to TheHero, do not try to [[TakeUpMySword carry on the fight]] -- you have to somehow resurrect TheHero or everything's lost. Also, TheHero's TrueCompanions, who are just as skilled and know as much about the threat to all life in the galaxy, will scatter and proceed to obsess about their personal problems, unless TheHero is there to [[IncrediblyLamePun shepherd]] them back on track.
** Terrorists just have humanity's best interests at heart
** Civilian leadership is always incompetent and obstructive. The only people you can trust to protect you are members of the military.
** If you advance your civilization's technology too far, Mecha-Cthulhu will harvest you [[spoiler: and turn you into one of them]].
** And when those Mecha-Cthulhu come to harvest, don't even bother trying to fight back. [[spoiler: Not because you'll fail, but because your success will do more damage than the Mecha-Cthulhu ever could.]]
** It's more than perfectly okay to cause the deaths of 300,000+ members of a sentinent race if it's for a good cause, no need to feel gut-rending guilt over it. They weren't humans, or even attractive aliens, anyhow.
** People with brittle-bone disease? You can forget having an actual human being to love, because you are literally made of glass. Instead, you must contend with dating robots and sentinent A.I.s.
* ''VideoGame/MasterOfOrion'': Killing and enslaving people, and destroying whole planets is a praiseworthy activity and will get you elected as ruler of the universe. Everyone will just love you for it.
* ''[[http://www.mcvideogame.com/mcdonalds-eng.swf [=McDonald=]'s Video Game]]'': Everyone who opposes McDonalds is an idiot.
** Consumers' associations are all just a bunch of mildly irritating whiners.
** Environmentalists quickly forget the past as long as you don't commit any fresh infractions.
** The workers are ungrateful losers you can ignore forever without consequence.
** Anti-obesity associations are full of FatIdiot types who are easily appeased/snookered.
** Anti-globalization organizations are full of idiots who are angry for no good reason. They can also be ignored forever.
* ''VideoGame/MegaManStarForce'': The best way to help people is to undetectably invade their privacy with the help of your BloodKnight alien friend.
** ThePowerOfFriendship will give you great strength, on the condition that first you spend three years shrinking from any human contact and {{Wangst}}ing a lot.
* ''MetalGearSolid3'': If you are a woman, and involved in dangerous covert operations, walking around with your top unzipped will do more for your chances of survival than legendary combat prowess. Remember, girls, VasquezAlwaysDies.
** ''MetalGearSolid2'': Terrorism is brilliant, as long as you're doing it for your ideals and morals (whatever they may be), and not for your benefit. If you're not a terrorist or support their right to murder countless people because of their beliefs, you're a mindless sheep or you're still being educated in the true meaning of life.
*** It doesn't matter if your girlfriend is a delusional hallucination caused by a combination of your own fractured mind, a broken computer influencing your thoughts, and the gunpowder you use as food condiments - if she still puts out, she's your perfect match.
** ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid'': It doesn't matter if men have obscene personality flaws, can provide you with no stability whatsoever and have known you for about three hours - as long as he's handsome, you're bound to fall in love with him, and even lucky for it. It doesn't even matter if you [[DoesNotLikeMen don't like men]]. The bitter, traumatised, sterile (but handsome) killer who treats you and everyone else like crap and is going to drop randomly dead at any moment is still perfect boyfriend material. He may constantly reject your advances, beat you up and treat you in a patronisingly sarcastic, sexist way, because he's really handsome. Even if you've dedicated your very life to killing him, and he calls himself an 'animal' and makes constant sexist passes at you before suddenly getting angry at you just for doing your job, you'll fall in love with him and endure all kinds of suffering for him once you realise how handsome he is. In fact, he's so handsome, the way to prevent yourself from being horribly emotionally traumatised during a rape is to ''pretend the rapist is him'', because it'll make it feel good. Remember this for your future relationships, girls.
*** Getting therapy for PTSD does not work. Adjusting to a peaceful, calm, idyllic life will not work, however long you spend living that way. The only way to cure PTSD is by reliving a distorted version of the very events that caused it in the first place, from the electric floors and the hostage rescue to the barehanded murder of a family member and a pure-hearted girl soldier who dresses as a guard and gets shot down before your eyes.
** ''MetalGearSolid4'': Don't try to change the world. You'll only make it worse. As long as you do what you're told, everything will work out alright, even if you're obeying the commands of profoundly evil interests, because your actions help preserve the status quo.
*** You can't leave your sins to the next generation, but the only person who can save you is your little daughter.
*** Children can never be happy if their parents are [[HasTwoMommies both men]]. If you refuse to bring in a woman to act as a role model, she'll never learn how to cook and clean and be pretty and like flowers, like all girls want to do.
*** Abandoning your best friend and ideals to fall in love with a woman you've known for about two hours is admirable. No matter how neglectful you are to your friend, he loves you enough to forgive you whatever, so you may as well take the gamble. You can always go back to him at the end and he'll welcome you with open arms.
*** All the problems in the world can be solved by abusing old people.
*** The only women who are good women are wives, mothers, children or [[WomenInRefrigerators dead women]]. Anything feminine - it doesn't even have to be a woman, just look like one - which is not a wife, a mother, a child or dead is either an unstoppable killing machine, an unstoppable killing machine whose mind is full only of thoughts of sex with you, incompetent, a harpy, or out to betray you. This even applies to feminine things who are mothers, but not acting like them; children, but not acting like them; not married yet; marked, but not actually dead yet, etc. Marrying, having children, behaving like a child or dying automatically makes a woman good, though, no matter what she was like before.
*** Gun control is an evil plot!
* ''{{Metroid}}'': Creatures with physiologies suited to killing others are bad. Stick to killing each other with advanced technology instead.
* ''VideoGame/{{Minecraft}}'': The world and everything in it exists for your own self-gratification. Anything that keeps you from imposing your own vision on the world must be destroyed, and can probably be harvested for additional resources.
* ''VideoGame/ModernWarfare'': The US army fails at everything they do, so when danger arises, don't call the US army, call two British soldiers to solve all of your problems.
* ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIIMorrowind Morrowind]]''- It's okay to run around stark naked as long as you have even a belt on. No one will notice anything.
** Don't try to be heroic, because you will only screw people over.
** If you've killed someone and feel bad about it, the rational solution is to [[spoiler:kill them again]].
** If you've lived four thousand years and still can't get any, solve this problem by creating female clones of yourself and sleep with them instead.
** Recruiting people by trying to murder them is a logical idea.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:N to S]]
* ''VideoGame/NancyDrew'': Stealing and breaking into people' rooms is perfectly fine, but God help you if you pick up an endangered animal!
* ''NetHack'': Don't let anything, including entire species, impede your goal of godhood. (Just remember you should [[ApeShallNeverKillApe never genocide your own]].)
** If you've lived more than ten hours, mass-murder of peaceful creatures is A-OK
* ''NinjaGaiden'' for the NES: Birds are fucking assholes.
** Actually, everything will kill you. Don't ever go outside again.
** ''NinjaGaiden'' series in general: Real ninjas don't do pussy things like hide in the shadows, get close to their target, and assassinate him/her before they even know of the ninja's presence. No, real ninjas rush forward in plain sight with sword drawn against everything from several mooks with guns to a gigantic Archfiend.
*** All women have [[BoobsOfSteel large breasts and surprisingly good fighting ability]] (especially in the next-gen games). However, if they are good then they will probably grab the DistressBall or otherwise become useless, but if they are bad then they will transform into a hideous monster and try to kill you. So never trust women ever.
* ''NoMoreHeroes'': Bored? Nothing to do except watch porn all day? Why just get online and ebay yourself a nice Beam Katana and start hacking and slashing and strawberry shortcaking people until you find the person that killed your parents.
** ''NoMoreHeroes2'': Just come back to town and feeling real pissed because your only friend just got killed? Don't call the cops, whip out the old katana and go after the head of a massive company. Oh, and turning into a tiger is a-okay!
* ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion Oblivion]]'' ~ Quest: Paranoia...If you are a loner, you clearly are a paranoid nutcase who thinks there's this conspiracy by everyone else in the town to kill you.
** Alternately, if you believe that someone it trying to kill you, the logical response is not to report it to the local guards, but to seek out and pester that mysterious newcomer decked head-to-toe in heavy Daedric armor and carrying a greatsword with a soul trap enchantment. WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong
* ''{{Okami}}'': If you see a strangely intelligent, cute white doggy, WORSHIP IT, for it is [[AGodIsYou GOD]]. Also, ScienceIsBad.
** Alternatively, if you see a large wolf coming at you, don't run for cover or try to defend yourself. Instead, talk to it and pet its head because it's certainly not going to bite you.
** Feeding random wild animals will make them worship you.
** It is better to be eaten alive than to fish. At least that way you're doing something exciting.
* ''PacMan'': Gluttony is adorable
* ''VideoGame/PaperMarioTheThousandYearDoor'': Saving the Princess is a bad idea, the moment you finally get to her [[DemonicPossession she gets possessed and you have to fight her to save the world.]] Better luck next time Mario.
* ''VideoGame/ParasiteEve'': [[BodyHorror Fear Your Body.]] Especially if you're young, attractive, and/or female. If an animal looks unusual or unhealthy, don't contact the authorities--shoot it before it causes you to spontaneously combust. Also, don't go to the opera. You will be set on fire.
* ''VideoGame/{{Persona}}'': So long as one person in your town wants to be a god, you don't deserve to be happy and live in a perfect world.
* ''VideoGame/{{Persona 3}}'': If you are a guy you cannot be just friends with a girl. It has to go somewhere. Having more than one female friend is the same as adultery. But don't worry, they probably won't figure it out, and if they do, all it takes is few well-chosen words and they'll come running back like nothing happened.
** It's perfectly okay to build up a woman's trust and then move on to someone else after she sleeps with you as long as [[SexyDiscretionShot you can deny it ever happened]].
** You know who is a good person to date? That crazy girl who tried to off all your friends. It is okay, she's just a bit confused.
*** It's also okay to sleep with the creepy woman who runs the card shop, even if you already have a girlfriend. She won't mind.
*** If you don't know which of your girlfriends to go with, just pick the one who slaughtered your parents and sealed a CosmicHorror inside you. Best choice every time.
** Lectures by occult obsessed substitute teachers provided are more important to your life than knowledge math, language and history lessons.
*** All history teachers are obsessed about their favorite time period. Also, your normal teacher is ''so'' into you.
** You are the only one who can love. However, you do get everyone, so it ain't that bad.
** The only way to solve your problems is to shoot yourself in the head.
** If you aren't enjoying every moment of your life, you're a horrible person and you deserve to die along with the rest of humanity.
*** Live life to the fullest, or an EldritchAbomination will descend upon Earth and destroy mankind.
* ''VideoGame/{{Persona 4}}'': The ignorant masses don't know what they want. Even if god like creatures are willing to fufill the desires of humanity and create a utopia that people wish for you can't let them. After all, a select group of people with special powers get to decide the fate of humanity. No matter what people actually want.
** [[TruthInTelevision Just like the government!]].
** Nihilism is the key to saving the world. If you don't dismiss everything as a lie, the world will end and you won't be able to do a thing about it.
** If you have vital information about a murder case (and the ability to prove it) [[PoliceAreUseless don't even consider telling your detective uncle]] about it. Instead constantly put yourself and your friends in serious danger.
** It's perfectly acceptable to date multiple girls at the same time without telling them.
** If you don't accept that the most {{flanderized}}, AccentuateTheNegative portrayal of you is true, you are in denial and don't deserve to live.
** Only happens once in the whole story, but the game's overarching message of "don't lie to yourself, embrace who you really are" is twisted because [[spoiler: Adachi]] is completely in-sync with his inner self and has no reason to change it. The problem being that his inner self is [[spoiler: a psychopathic murderer who enjoys making others suffer.]] So really the message is more of "don't lie to yourself and work to accept everything that makes you you, unless of course the other side happens to be evil"?
** The entire game is warped if you've played the Persona 2 duology. Again, the message of this game is embracing who you really are and searching for the truth. [[spoiler: If Tatsuya or Maya remember the truth about the world being rewritten (into the current world that all Persona games after Innocent Sin take place in), Nyarlathotep will come back into existence and destroy all creation, because this time Philemon isn't powerful enough to stop create a backup universe again. So in reality, staying blind to the truth is the only thing keeping the universe safe from total annihilation.]]
* ''[[PhantasyStar Phantasy Star Universe]]'': If you want to become a GUARDIAN to protect the universe, be prepared to abandon your friends for the common good. If you want to be most efficient in protecting the universe, become a Rogue.
** ''Phantasy Star Portable'': The GUARDIANS are dedicated in protecting everyone! [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman ...Unless you're a [=Copy-CAST=]]].
* ''{{Pikmin}} 2'': If you befriend small, adorable creatures that are at the near bottom of the food chain, keep them alive so you can [[YouBastard mercilessly kill any living thing larger than yourself by throwing the small creatures at them in the name of your company.]]
* Franchise/{{Pokemon}}:
** Main series:
*** The powers that be approve of blood sport.
*** Eugenics is A-OK! The four hundred or so rejects who don't turn out just right can go fend for themselves. You need ToBeAMaster!
*** Leave home as soon as you can, because a terrorist organization's plans will go completely unnoticed unless you dig them up!
*** It's perfectly okay to suddenly betray the trust of your friends and give them to someone else, as long as it's in exchange for someone unusually-colored!
** [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_sport Making animals burn, bite, electrocute, and rip each other apart]] is lots of fun for you and the animals! Pokemon is a pretty good contender, in fact:
** Low on cash? No problem! Command your tamed creatures to beat up the [[MoneySpider creatures of other children]], [[MoneyGrinding and then force them to pay up]]! ([[SuicidalOverconfidence They won't know what hit 'em ...]])
** Worried that all that violence will damage the fragile minds of your rag-tag party? Fret no more! Your creatures [[BloodKnight grow ''happier'']] for every foe they down! So patch up those wounds, beat up a few more bikers or school boys, and you and your Pokemon will be chums in no time.
** If an [[OlympusMons science experiment gone wrong/avatar of mother nature/giant whale/lava dinosaur/creator of time/space]] is rampaging around your city, don't send in the army. Send in a kid. And encourage him to [[KidWithTheRemoteControl catch]] the creatures. After all, what's the worst that could happen when a 10 year old happens to have command over ''God himself''?
** If you need to breed an animal (any animal at all!), don't go out of your way to capture one of its own kind. No, instead, procure a Ditto. And then fling the poor hapless pink blob into the pen with an animal of your choosing. Once they've finished their business, you can set Ditto up with another creature. [[{{Squick}} And another]]. [[UnfortunateImplications And another]] ...
*** The real Aesop? It's really, really, really awesome to be Ditto.
*** [[HotSkittyOnWailordAction And female cats and male whales are biologically compatible]]. That's ... gonna hurt quite a bit.
** All the problems with incest are just a bunch of old wives' tales. Any Pokémon can breed over and over with its own descendents, ascendents, siblings, and cousins and the offspring will have the same chances of being strong or weak as any other member of its species. In fact, the opposite can be true. Breeding Pokémon with high IV's (usually ones that result from the same parents) will increase the odds of getting a Pokémon with even higher IV's. In other words: Are you athletic and smart? Is your sibling of the opposite gender also athletic and smart? Then do human evolution a favor.
** [[AllAnimalsAreDomesticated Training exotic wild animals won't get you hurt at all. In fact the more you spend time with it, the more it'll like you!]]
** For [[StopHavingFunGuys hardcore players]]: If you are not innately strong or have the wrong nature, you are a worthless being and your only purpose in life is [[HotSkittyOnWailordAction prostitution]] to produce an ideal being. Or as a slave forced to perform the same tedious tasks every day because your [[strike:pimp]] master can't be bothered to find a boat/machete/airport.
*** Even if you're inherently strong, your sole purpose in life is to beat others of your kind to [[strike:death]] [[NeverSayDie fainting]].
*** You could always take up time-travelling if you haven't the stomach for eugenics programs.
** To meet interesting fauna, headbutt trees!
** If [[OurFairiesAreDifferent you]] [[RealMenWearPink look]] [[{{Camp}} effeminate]] [[TheDragonSlayer and can fight a]] {{Badass}}-looking [[GameBreaker Dragon]], [[FanDumb you're an abomination to the universe]].
** Adults are incompetent. ''All of them''.
** Do you know how much grief you people are causing?
*** [[ComedicSociopathy Yes.]]
** ''VideoGame/PokemonGoldAndSilver'':
*** If your mom keeps wasting your hard-earned money, well.. that's just something all moms do. [[SarcasmMode It's not like this is ]][[FinancialAbuse some kind of abuse or anything.]]
** ''VideoGame/PokemonBlackAndWhite'':
*** [[spoiler:Locking a child in their room for most of their childhood is good for the child's moral development.]]
*** Not wanting your kinda clueless daughter to go straight from living at home to traveling arround New York by herself on foot makes you a bad parent.
*** Females who do not want to stay in the kitchen absolutely must do something related to biology. Everything else, from math to sports to politics is men's work.
** ''VideoGame/PokemonMysteryDungeon Explorers Of Time/Darkness/Sky'': If you grieve for a dead friend strong enough, said friend will undoubtedly be revived.
*** Sorry, Timmy, Grandma is still dead because you didn't miss her enough!
*** [[spoiler:Suicide isn't always a bad thing!]]
** ''PokemonRumble'': Are you a young novice with dreams of becoming the champion? Sorry. You'll need to recruit someone else to do it for you.
* ''VideoGame/{{Portal 2}}'': If you ever need a bossy moron, find someone British.
** Evil people become nice when crippled.
* ''[[Franchise/PrinceOfPersia Prince of Persia, the Sands of Time Trilogy]]'': [[CoolClearWater Water]] is the one true cure for all of man's ills, up to and including injuries, [[TheCorruption transformations induced by contact with the corruption]] and monsters sent to erase you from the time-stream.
** Having your father die is the only way to grow up.
** Every woman you meet will either try to kill you, or cause you great amounts of emotional distress, sometimes both.
** ''VideoGame/PrinceOfPersiaWarriorWithin'': The solution to being chased by a monster because you messed with time? Mess even more with time. If that doesn't work, mess even more with it. And if that still doesn't work, just kill the monster, what you could have done from the start, had you had [[SwordOfPlotAdvancement the right weapon]].
* ''ProfessorLayton'': When solving a mystery, always keep OccamsRazor in mind. Also remember that the Razor doesn't rule out [[OffscreenVillainDarkMatter having ridiculous amounts of money]] and a lot of time on one's hands.
* VideoGame/{{Prototype}}: Don't just pick on elite army brigades and zombies, eat them too! You'll get superpowers.
* ''VideoGame/{{Psychonauts}}'': The guy who's hurting children for his own personal gain really has some sort of FreudianExcuse, and attacking him will teach him the errors of his ways. The guy he's working with for it, though? You don't know his backstory, and therefor can just assume he [[DisneyVillainDeath deserves to die]]. [[DepravedDentist No one likes dentists]], anyway.
** [[AmazingTechnicolorPopulation Blue people are bad]], so it's safe to judge them from the color of their skin.
** Cheerleaders are all {{Stepford Smiler}}s, [[MostAnnoyingSound incredibly annoying]], and generally the spawn of Satan.
** Years of mental illness can be cured within an hour by a pre-pubescent kid blowing things up.
* ''VideoGame/PunchOut'' (Wii Version): Boxing makes you crazy. Quit while you still have your sanity intact.
* ''VideoGame/RatchetAndClank'': massive acts of vandalism are the best way to pick up spare change, and violence is the only solution to any problem.
** All corporations are evil, and the only way to stop a terrorist is more terrorism.
*** What, what, what? But the corporations are the good guys, at least in the first game! [[spoiler: Also in the second game. That corporation only seemed evil because the generous CEO was an impostor.]]
** [[EldritchAbomination Lovecraftian monstrosities]] make good pets.
* ''VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption'' It's okay to tell your troubled child that he lives in a dream world, that he reads too many books, etc. After all, its not like he's trying to find an escape from the real world of being a son of a former outlaw. This will, in no way, cause him to have serious resentments against you in the future and have serious emotional problems which will eventually drive him to borderline depression and [[spoiler: become a gunslinger, which was the very thing you were trying to help him avoid in the first place.]]
** It's more than perfectly okay to threaten the people trying to help you, describing all the gruesome ways you could murder them dead...all because they annoyed you. This goes from the eccentric conman and his pals, to the marshal's deputies, up to ''the rebel leader who's leading the Mexican Revolution''! However they'll all look pass this in their eternal, undying wish to serve you because you're just that important.
* VideoGame/ResidentEvilCodeVeronica: Apparently, you're supposed to insult someone because of symptoms of their mental disorder, not the fact that they're a sadistic bastard who has repeatedly tried to kill you. (Claire insulting Alfred about being a cross-dresser, despite how he has multiple personalities and one personality is female, so he ''would'' dress as a woman because of the disorder.)
* ''{{Rift}}'': If you're religious, you're a [[ScienceIsBad luddite]] [[KnightTemplar zealot]]. If you're not, you're going against the will of the Divine. Also, if it's from another world, it's probably in league with {{Eldritch Abomination}}s.
* ''RuneFactory'': The past is of no use to an AmnesiacHero. If you know someone who knows who you were, don't bother asking (Rune Factory 1). If the one responsible offers to restore your lost memories, decline ([=RF3=]). Your current happy life is more than enough. Anyone from your past who loves and misses you? Eff 'em!
** [=RF2=]: If you actually remember you past, don't tell anyone. Just run off and disappear for years - it'll be a growth experience for you kid.
* ''{{Runescape}}'': Lumberjacks have the easiest job in the world.
** Don't feed coal to dragons. It's bad for the environment.
* ''Franchise/ShinMegamiTensei'': Don't bother fighting demons. [[NintendoHard They'll just kill you over and over until you give up.]]
** Kill yourself.
** If you are a Christian, Jew or Muslim, you're basically following an evil cult, given that your god is the most ruthless tyrant the universe has ever seen.
** No matter what choice you take, it is the WRONG choice and you are TERRIBLE for taking it.
** ''VideoGame/ShinMegamiTenseiIIINocturne'': The fate of the world is ''not'' in your hands. It's in the hands of all the different factions trying to manipulate you into thinking that it is.
*** If teaching makes you feel insecure, go ahead and destroy the world. Your students will clean up the mess (or have some fun with it) and you'll feel better about yourself!
*** HumansAreBastards and don't deserve the Earth as it is, so trading away your humanity to become the baddest demon there ever was and destroying the world is the best course of action.
* ''VideoGame/SilentHill2'': It's okay to kill your wife if she won't have sex with you. You might even get a stripperized version of her when she's dead!
** Who mentioned sex? More like the the best approach to an approaching bereavement is to accelerate it with judicious use of a pillow and then resurrect a death cult in the hope of bringing her back!
** ''VideoGame/SilentHill3'': A world without hunger, war or sickness would be incredibly boring and you're a castrated sheep if you think it would be better that way.
*** And ladies, if a middle aged man you've never seen before in your life shows up claiming to be a detective who's been hired to look for you, don't try and get away from him. Things will go downhill for you REAL quickly.
* ''VideoGame/SinAndPunishmentStarSuccessor'': If your enemy loses her memory, it is perfectly alright to turn against your allies to protect her.
* ''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog'', particularly the Shadow arc: It's okay to do horrible things as long as you make up for it in the end!
** It doesn't matter what you do at all, every major evil in the world can only be beaten back by harnessing the power of the [[AppliedPhlebotinum Chaos Emeralds]].
** ''Anime/SonicX'': Chase a guy around in a hopelessly creepy fashion, and he'll start to be touched by your gestures of affection and fall for you in return.
*** If you have been deceived by a mustache scientist like many many times, then that means that you are a good person who sees the good in other's hearts.
*** Hey 8-11 year old girls with depression (it's more common than one would think), It's a perfectly good idea to [[DoubleStandardAbuseFemaleOnMale traumatize a boy you have a crush on]]; by forcing them to kill you by making sure all other options are gone.
** ''VideoGame/ShadowTheHedgehog'': "If you wanna stay clear of trouble, then stay away from the doctor." Yeah... well said Shadow.
*** Also, pay your respects to a now-deceased scientist who came with the plan to use a space station to destroy a group of evil aliens and their comet, even though after that, [[VideoGame/SonicAdventure2 he vowed to destroy the world with said space station]].
** ''VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog2006'': Don't cry or else you will release something that will destroy the universe.
** ''VideoGame/SonicRiders'': If you have part of a powerful weapon, you should gamble it in a race! Who knows what could happen if it fell into the wrong hands, but hey, hoverboards are cool!
** ''Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity'': Nothing gets you to your destination faster than driving in circles!
** ''VideoGame/SonicStorybookSeries'': Ignore all requests for help from [[DamselInDistress damsels in distress]]. She's either working for a power-hungry boss or it's all part of her EvilPlan to rule the world.
* ''VideoGame/SoulSeries'': Fighting to free your family from a pointless fight in another world, will get you stuck into another dimension.
* ''Franchise/SlyCooper'': Criminal masterminds should always be left for the police to deal with [[WhatMeasureIsAMook The guards who work for them deserve to be crushed, pummeled, burned, drowned, zapped, and impaled.]]
** Stealing things like the Crown Jewels and the stars from the Hollywood Walk of Fame is OK because you are a [[LoveableRogue loveable rogue]].
* ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros'': Never try to follow your wife or girlfriend somewhere--[[YourPrincessIsInAnotherCastle she'll always be in a different location than the place to which you tracked her.]]
** Repeatedly hitting your head against ceiling, while jumping up and down, gives you lots of coins.
** Mushrooms make you come back from the dead.
** Genocide is a-okay when it's defenseless sentient mushrooms and turtles!
*** They're hardly defenseless, they can murder you by bumping into you, they're poison coated or something.
** Your brother will always steal your spotlight...even if ''you'' are the one saving the day.
** Plumbers actually save princesses and toss evil turtles into lava. The only pipes they fix are the ones they can go through.
** [[VideoGame/SuperPrincessPeach Women are overly emotional]] and have violent mood swings. Also, they can float.
** [[VideoGame/SuperMario64 If you defeat the man who has captured your girlfriend and stolen her house]], [[TheCakeIsALie there will be cake.]]
*** Even if you do manage to save said girlfriend, all you'll get is a peck on the nose.
*** Dinosaurs talk. And they live on the roofs of castles. And they extend your lifespan.
** Picking up an ax opens up the pits of hell.
** ''VideoGame/SuperMarioSunshine'': All it takes to clean up pollution is [[RuleOfCool a man with a water-powered jetpack.]]
*** Also, the only evidence you need to incarcerate is a crappy sketch of their face.
** VideoGame/YoshisIsland: A baby dropped in the middle of nowhere will instantly make friends with the wildlife and will [[MostAnnoyingSound cry uncontrollably if separated from them]].
*** A baby without someone to carry it floats in a bubble.
** [[BatmanCanBreatheInSpace Plumbers can breathe underwater!!]]
** The Super Mushrooms, and other such powerups: Hey kids! DrugsAreGood stuff!! They make you grow up strong and healthy and may even give you ''superpowers''!
* ''VideoGame/SuperRobotWars'': Humans shouldn't fight each other. They should fight aliens.
** Always use damaged equipment. [[DesperationAttack It works better]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:T to Z]]
* ''VideoGame/TalesOfGraces'': [[EasilyForgiven Easily forgive]] the bad guy (who, as a part of his routine, has possessed your best friend and has tried to kill you and your other friends while using your friend as a voluntary puppet) and he'll stop his reign of terror.
* ''VideoGame/TalesOfTheAbyss'': Trusting a man you've known all your life over a group of strangers who you have ''very'' good reasons '''not''' to trust makes you an unforgivable {{Jerkass}}.
* ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphoniaDawnOfTheNewWorld'': If you don't stand up for yourself against those who hate you, you are worthless. If you do stand up for yourself, they will kill you and those you love. Thus, your only hope is to be stronger than everyone else.
** The original, and the Sequel: Everything you do is worthless, from saving the soul of your LoveInterest to getting rid of the BigBad, because no matter what you did, you didn't make anything any better, in fact, you may have made it worse.
* ''VideoGame/TalesOfVesperia'': Murder is the best solution to ''anything''.
** Don't worry about the consequences, by the third act everyone will have forgotten about it anyway!
* ''VideoGame/{{Tetris}}'': [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDJQP1xg5EY&fmt=18 Having YouTube take down videos of fan clones of your game is the right thing to do.]]
** The best way to make a game popular, widespread, and varied enough to be enjoyed by people of all ages and skill levels? Take it away from the guy who created it, and deny him all royalties!
* ''VideoGame/TombRaiderAngelOfDarkness'': Wanted for a murder you didn't commit? In that case, killing a few more people is fine so long as you manage to [[ClearMyName clear your name]] in the end.
** ''VideoGame/TombRaider 1'' and ''[[VideoGame/TombRaiderAnniversary Anniversary]]'': It's okay to kill the woman trying to save her people from extinction (AND destroy all of her work!) if she tried to kill you while trying to do so.
** ''Franchise/TombRaider 2'': If the prophecy states that a door must be opened with a certain artifact, then go ahead and travel all over the globe to find it. Don't just...you know...put another object the same size into the keyhole, or try to destroy that fragile, hollow, wooden door.
* The VideoGame/{{Touhou}} Project: Firing millions of bullets at your friends is the only reasonable way to settle disputes.
** The Embodiment of Scarlet Devil: If you don't like sunny days it's alright to erect an artificial sun blocking shield over an entire town.
** Perfect Cherry Blossom: It's OK to steal one of the four seasons so long as you're trying to bring an evil man eating tree back to life.
** Immaterial and Missing Power: If you are capable of creating artificial black holes then force people to get drunk against their will.
** Imperishable Night: If you are hiding fugitives inside a stolen mansion then you have the right to steal the moon.
*** And as a corollary if you want to track down that person it's OK to steal a night.
** Phantasmagoria of Flower View: Rest is important so don't fail to have a nap even if it causes a major incident and results in a few million missing souls.
** Shoot the Bullet: It's OK to take invasive pictures of people against their will, especially if they're engaged in important tasks at the time.
** Mountain of Faith: If you are in possession of a ''de facto'' monopoly it's OK to use force to maintain that monopoly if any competitors enter the market.
** Scarlet Weather Rhapsody: Do you have superhuman powers? Are you bored? Destroying the planet will help pass the time.
** Subterranean Animism: Feeding a mad hell raven, who is the pet of a despised mind reader, the corpse of a sun god provides green jobs. Also there is no need for corporate transparency.
** Undefined Fantastic Object: If a group of people are trying to rescue their beloved friend after she was unjustly imprisoned then you must turn into a racist murderer to make sure they don't succeed.
** Touhou Hisōtensoku: If you're convinced you've seen a giant god then run around trying to find it, beating up everyone you meet along the way.
** Double Spoiler: If you're too lazy to take invasive photographs of people then get somebody else to do it then beat her up and steal her camera.
** Fairy Wars: Terrorizing humans and starting wars is a good way to prove you're the strongest.
* {{Tsukihime}}: The only important thing in the world is which girl you decide to pursue.
** Also it's perfectly fine to have sex with your sister as long as you're not [[NotBloodSiblings technically]] related.
** If you see a good-looking girl in the street, stalk her and cut into seventeen pieces. She'll come to like you by the next morning.
** You can heal the trauma of a childhood of sexual abuse with your dick.
** Lying about what you're going to do to your girlfriend in bed and making her cry while you're doing it is a perfectly valid way of building rapport with her.
* ''UltimaUnderworld:'' The offspring of mixed marriages will be cannibalistic, physically repulsive ghouls.
* ''VideoGame/ValkyriaChronicles:'' Any form of ambition or individualism is wrong and evil, being promoted to a higher rank in theory stopping your military's WeHaveReserves policy is also wrong and evil. Having the power to end a bloody war faster with less deaths on both sides is even more wrong. So just know your place in the pecking order and love it. Also, Hilter was right.
* ''VideoGame/ValkyriaChroniclesIII'': If you're stuck with a shitty job, you can vent your frustration by killing blacks[[note]]The all-Darcssen legion that are all wearing black.[[/note]] ''en masse''. They will even give you medals for that.
** Repeated fratricide and blowing up your homeland's capitol is fine if that means you'll get even with your nemesis.
** Accepting [[ItMayHelpYouOnYourQuest strange trinkets]] from a complete stranger is fine, they will come in handy latter.
** [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers When Freddie Mercury and Reimu Hakurei is on your side, you can't lose.]]
* ''ValkyrieProfileCovenantOfThePlume'': Your friends are disposable cannon fodder, as long as you can get what you want.
** Alternately, it doesn't matter HOW CrazyAwesome the afterlife is, or how much of a CrapsackWorld you live in, ANYONE who would choose the afterlife over normal, mortal life is a horrible, horrible person.
* ''TheWitcher'', trust no none. It doesn't matter how sympathetic somebody may seem, they can and likely are EvilAllAlong.
* ''VideoGame/TheWorldEndsWithYou'': You're better off on your own. Partners will just stand there and get your mutual HP eaten up.
** Or you can TakeAThirdOption, which is to trust in your friends, where trust is defined as "tell them how to do everything".
** When the evil god tells you that you were an UnwittingPawn in his scheme to [[DoomedHometown destroy your hometown]] and everyone in it (including you), and you have a chance to stop his plans, ''don't do it''. If you do, you're a selfish jerk and you only care about yourself.
* ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'': People of different races can get along, but mainly for the purposes of killing people of ''even more different'' races. Also, [[http://www.wowwiki.com/Garrosh_Hellscream nepotism is good]] and always preferable to appointing [[http://www.wowwiki.com/Vol%27jin someone else]] [[http://www.wowwiki.com/Varok_Saurfang who may be]] [[http://www.wowwiki.com/Basic_Campfire better]] for the job at hand.
** Heroes kill everything in sight, then they do it again and again.
** Rather than just giving the heroes who've saved the world dozens of times over the things they need to keep saving the world, you should instead make them perform menial tasks like gathering chickens every single day until you decide you like them enough.
** Every building, bridge, road, and other piece of infrastructure is fully capable of supporting the weight of full grown mammoths, dragons, helicopters, etc.
** If you and your friends kill a wanted criminal in order to take his head back for the bounty, make sure to check his pockets, as he's likely carrying extra heads so everyone can cash in.
** A pebble and a full-sized two-handed battle axe take up exactly the same amount of space in a backpack.
** Casual acts of genocide against defenceless villages are not only acceptable and not only profitable but also make people like you more.
** Isolating your nation is best for your people, inviting anyone into your country means inviting all sorts of trouble.
** If your leader is clearly a warmongering jerk then he makes a good commander in a never ending war.
* ''VideoGame/{{Xenoblade}}'': Gods are a really terrible concept, and everyone should just give up on theism if they want society to progress in a meaningful fashion.
* ''VideoGame/{{Xenogears}}'': Even if you are a dirty son of a bitch who takes out his anger after his unrequited crush dies by manipulating the world from the shadows for hundreds of years while committing various atrocities (including turning most of the planet's population into zombies), you can still [[KarmaHoudini escape all punishment]] [[AscendedToAHigherPlaneOfExistence by tagging along with a godlike being to another dimension]]. ''And'' you'll be excused of your crimes by one of your victims!
* ''VideoGame/{{Xenosaga}}'': If you are Christian, believe in any part of the Bible, or even like to quote the Bible, you are automatically evil and beyond redemption. Likewise, if none of that applies to you, you're one of the good guys unless you're already insane.
** No matter how [[DeusAngstMachina insanely tragic your past is]], you are not allowed to ''ever'' angst over it. If you do, you'll unleash an entire race of nasties upon the galaxy.
* ''YggdraUnion'': Women favor linear formations, men prefer to flank.
** Genocide is always an a-OK solution to continental strife if you decide you feel bad about it later, and diplomacy is ridiculous--unless you're going up against someone with a bigger stick than you, in which case you had better hop to when they order it.
* ''VideoGame/YumeNikki'': Playing with lightswitches is fun! [[spoiler:'''''aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAああああああああああ''''']]
** As is talking to a wall repeatedly.
** It's ok to kill innocent [[TheWoobie woobies]]; they'll [[PuzzleReset respawn once you leave the room]]. Besides... they look so cute when they're scared.
** Having weird dreams that you can't get rid of? [[spoiler:[[DrivenToSuicide Kill yourself]]!]]
[[/folder]]

!!Aesops Pertaining to Multiple Games:

* ''Franchise/SuperMarioBros'', ''VideoGame/{{Mega Man|Classic}}'', ''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog''... let's just say "any ongoing video game series with a recurring villain": The proper way to foil your archenemy's scheme is to kill everyone who works for him, beat him up, and stop his evil plan by force. Yet at no point should you ever consider ending his schemes ''for good''. After all, he's cunning enough to escape any punishment, so nothing short of execution will stop his reign of terror... and [[JokerImmunity killing is wrong]]. Or impossible. Unless you're killing his {{Mooks}}, of course, [[WhatMeasureIsAMook but who cares about them]]?
** If you kill the recurring villain why would the princess want you when she doesn't need saving any more?
* ''Franchise/SuperMarioBros'', many of the installments of ''Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda'', ''VideoGame/StarFox'', ''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog''... let's just say "any ongoing video game series with a canon love interest": If you save someone's life and they happen to be the same species as you, they have to [[RescueRomance fall in love with you.]] They ''have'' to.
** With ''Zelda'', species often isn't an obstacle to this. In fact, you may get an offer from a much older woman of a different race... when you're ''[[{{Shotacon}} 10 years old]]''.
*** They don't have to be the same species, genus, family, [[OverlyLongGag order, class, phylum, or kingdom]]. You can and will receive marriage proposals from ''sentient trees''.
**** In other words: Being a hero is pretty dang sweet.
**** If you're a athletic 10-years-old, you will be sexually propositioned by adults on a routine basis, often ending in you running away screaming. This is [[HilarityEnsues hilarious]], and not a cause for concern.
* Alternately: ''Franchise/SuperMarioBros'', ''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog,'' 2D platformers in general. If you don't know what to do, just start running to the right.
** [[OfferVoidInNebraska Offer void for]] ''[[Franchise/{{Metroid}} Metr]][[SublimeRhyme oid]]''.
* ''[[ButThouMust Too Many Games To Count]]'': No matter how hard you try, YouCantFightFate.
** ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyX'', among others: You're going to end up in a relationship with the first girl you get to know. If it becomes apparent that she has no personality, at least compared to someone else you meet who actively likes you back, ''suck it''.
*** For ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia'', ignoring your friend may seem like a {{Jerkass}} thing to do, but if it means you can ScrewDestiny and be with someone else, go ahead and screw it!
** ... unless it's ''VideoGame/TalesOfTheAbyss'', in which case you may ScrewDestiny over bigtime. But only after you've overturned the major world religion that serves as an arbitrator between the two world powers that are constantly engaged in brinkmanship and amassed a civilian body count that's significantly higher than the villain's.
* Any ''RPG''. Your society is crumbling to pieces? Charge the hero who wants to buy your Magical Items cash. Because everyone will love you for it. "What? He needed the Door Buster Spell to rescue our beloved Princess and you charged him fifty gp? You're awesome."
** [[JustifiedTrope You're gonna need the money after the world is safe anyway.]]
* ''Just About Every Fighting Game Ever'': Muscles are for men. Years of grueling martial arts training and practice will have no visible effect whatsoever on that frail, shapely figure of yours. Oh and 30 is old.
** Unless of course you are Chun-Li. In which case your upper body will never change but your legs will become ENORMOUS.
** If one fighter is clearly better than all the rest, it's not because of training or skill, it's because the competition is [[StopHavingFunGuys broken]] and RUINED FOREVER!!!
* ''VideoGame/GodOfWar'' and ''VideoGame/DantesInferno'': The very concept of LikeABadassOutOfHell is sufficient to utterly demolish any existing mythology.
** The only way to [[spoiler:give people hope]] is to destroy all of known civilization.
** The bigger the JerkAss, the more [[RuleOfCool inevitably awesome]] the [[EarnYourHappyEnding quest for redemption]].
** Never try to design a video game based on classical poetic literature. No matter [[EdutainmentGame how much good you do for society's cultural competence]], your game will be seen as a [[{{Hatedom}} heavily derided]] [[FollowTheLeader knockoff]] and it will [[MoneyDearBoy bomb in comparison]].
** There's NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity. [[RatingsStunt Even if you have to apologize to a feminist group later.]]
* {{RPG}}s in general: you should hunt endangered species because they're worth more EXP than common rabbits.
** In fairness, if something is endangered it's either [[DemonicSpiders extremely]] [[BossInMooksClothing dangerous]] or God doesn't want them to live either.
* RockBand and GuitarHero: You and your friends can get some instruments and go from nobodies to world famous rock stars...by playing nothing but [[CoverVersion covers]].
* Every AdventureGame ever made: {{Kleptomania|cHero}} helps you in every situation.
-----