[[WMG: Keith Stone is his good-for-nothing grandson.]]
And Advertising/TheManYourManCouldSmellLike is...I don't know, his cousin?
* And Creator/ChuckNorris is his brother.
* His father is Creator/SeanConnery
* His cat is [[http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lti33tW7c61qf87dl.gif Puss]] [[WesternAnimation/{{Shrek 2}} in Boots.]]
* He is descended from both Captain Morgan and John Jameson.
* [[UsefulNotes/TheodoreRoosevelt Teddy Roosevelt]] is his grandfather.
* His mom is [[Videogame/MetalGearSolid3SnakeEater The Boss]].
* [[Series/ParksAndRecreation Ron Swanson]] is his estranged cousin.

[[WMG: He is a Timelord!]]
Come on, with this much awesomeness he has to be!
* And Dos Equis is his Tardis?
* Well, there is a new version of him now.

[[WMG: He has actually done none of the things he has claimed to have done.]]
In his private life, he is very plain, even boring, but when he is invited to a party (which is increasingly more and more often) he is very good at dressing himself up and saying stories. He is still the most interesting man in the world though, solely because he is the world's greatest storyteller.

[[WMG: He is Forrest Gump]]
Gump has done many interesting things, like running a multi-million shrimp company or running through the USA for 3 years straight. Plus, he is about the right age.

[[WMG: The Man never made it to Mars]]
Part way there he ran into Advertising/SegataSanshiro and the two now travel the cosmos bringing the joys of Dos Equis and UsefulNotes/SegaSaturn to the universe.