[[WMG: Dougal is the secret son of a priest.]]

It seems the only explanation for how someone so utterly unqualified could have become a priest: his mother threatened to go to the papers, and to avoid a scandal young Dougal was fast tracked through the seminary.

I'm about 50/50 on the chances that Bishop Brennan is Dougal's real father.
* Do the words "You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!" ring any bells?
** No such luck - the proper title for a bishop in Ireland is "Your Grace".
* I dunno, he did state in ''Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest'' that both his parents were dead. Of course, this is Dougal we're talking about.
** Or maybe his mother kept the truth from him and claimed that his father was dead.
** Maybe they both just told him they were dead. He'd have fallen for it, he really would.
* Or maybe Ted is his real father, he does act like a father to him, lampshaded in The Old Grey Whistle Theft. And Ted's real father is Jack!
** And Mrs Doyle could be Dougal's mother. She certainly treats him like a child (she even bathes him), and Ted seems very jealous when Pat Mustard steals Mrs Doyle's heart... One big happy family.

[[WMG: Dougal is a lot smarter than he seems.]]

That diabolical laugh with the trophy in the Christmas Special? Completely genuine. He's an evil mastermind who plays Ted expertly through ObfuscatingStupidity. Being sent to the island is all part of his EvilPlan to take over the world.
** Something that reinforces this is that whenever Dougal is in actual physical danger, he tends to be a lot smarter, such as in "The Mainland", when they are trapped in the caves and Ted winds up the thread his jumper had been spinning (thus stopping them from fining their way out) as he looks on in horror.

[[WMG: Dougal is [[StraightMan The Straight Man]] in a CloudCuckooLander world.]]

Following on from above. The whole ‘Why not knock loudly?’ thing in ‘Cigarettes & Alcohol & Rollerblading’ seems to suggest this.

[[WMG: The opening sequence demonstrates some kind of helicopter accident that takes place either before or after the events of the series]]

[[WMG: Dougal isn't stupid(or at least not ''just'' stupid)), he has schizophrenia]]

His behavior throughout the series is that of someone completely detached from the real world--with Ted even having to draw him a chart describing the differences between fantasy and reality--and moreover Dougal's thoughts and words ''do'' occasionally conform to reality and to varying degrees. In addition, many of his behaviors throughout the show are not outright stupid but just plain weird and nonsensical. He only became mentally ill sometime in his adult life, after becoming priest.

[[WMG: Father Jack is a former Soldier of Heaven...]]

...and the series is set in the TabletopGame/InNomine universe, probably a Bright Low Contrast game. He lost an Ethereal Force in celestial combat and became the madman we know today, but retained a massive amount of Corporeal Forces. His stranger shifts may be the product of willing Kyriotate possession.

[[WMG: The show is a crossover with AshesToAshes]]
Only it's in the priest version of purgatory instead of the coppers version.
** Wait, so if you fiddle your expenses in heaven (i.e. the Dublin parish) you get sent back to purgatory? Our (English) [=MPs=] are fucked!
*** What if Ted , Dougal and Jack were never priests while they were alive and having to live like priests is their punishment in Hell.

[[WMG: ''FatherTed'' takes place in the same universe as ''Film/TheSnapper''.]]
In the Irish TV film ''The Snapper'' (1993), actor Pat Laffan plays George Burgess, a lecherous middle-aged man who gets a young woman pregnant. In the ''Father Ted'' episode 'Speed 3' (1998), Pat Laffan plays Craggy Island's new milkman, Pat Mustard – a lecherous middle-aged man who gets numerous women pregnant.

Could it be that the two characters are one and the same? By the end of ''The Snapper'', George Burgess has left his wife and is presumably homeless. Perhaps he fled Dublin and changed his name in order to escape the scandal that he had knocked up a girl, and so that he could continue his womanising lifestyle, and eventually ended up on Craggy Island? After all, 'Pat Mustard' does sound a bit like a pseudonym. The two characters have similarly selfish, obnoxious, horny personalities, although Pat Mustard is slightly more cartoonish and exaggerated, in keeping with the style of ''Father Ted''. Considering the similarities, it's hard to believe it's all coincidence; the writers probably cast Pat Laffan because they had already seen him play this sort of role, and knew he could play it again. The actor aged between ''The Snapper'' and ''Father Ted'', which fits with the idea that several years have passed between the two. And, as an additional link, Irish actress Rynagh O'Grady plays a minor character named Mrs O'Leary in ''The Snapper'' – she is best known, of course, for playing the recurring character of Mary O'Leary in none other than ''Father Ted''.

Incidentally, this theory would mean that the other films in Roddy Doyle's Barrytown Trilogy – ''The Commitments'' and ''The Van'' – also take place within the ''Father Ted'' universe.

** Mrs Doyle's name may well come from Roddy Doyle as well, plus Ted asks Dougal "Have you been reading those Roddy Doyle books again?". Also, Mrs Doyle mentions Mr Doyle very briefly before deciding not to elaborate further.
** Wouldn't the existence of Roddy Doyle books in a verse written by him either be a CelebrityParadox or this WMG being {{Jossed}}?
** Well ''GarthMarenghisDarkplace'' did it.

[[WMG: The reason Mrs Doyle doesn't talk about her husband is because she killed him.]]
She's on the run from the police and thus hiding on the island. Her obsession with making tea is a sign of OCD brought on by nervousness, and she stays in the kitchen because she knows guests won't go in there. We see in "The Mainland" that she can get violent enough to be arrested (although the cops allow her and Mrs Dineen to be bailed out). The fact that her friend Mrs Dineen lives on the mainland indicates that Mrs Doyle use to live on the mainland and left it for a reason. It is plausible that Mrs Doyle's husband died because of being allergic to tea. Her 'go on' method of persuasion could plausible force someone to drink poisoned tea.

[[WMG: The reason the priests seem to have a OneHourWorkWeek is because none of their parishioners want them anywhere near them.]]
Well, would you want Dougal's help with your problems?
* Considering [[NoodleIncident what happened]] [[TheFunInFuneral the one time Dougal did a funeral]], which leads to a hearse on fire inside a grave, this is highly plausible.

[[WMG: Jack was in the French Foreign Legion.]]

Where did he learn his fighting skills? Why does he feel compelled to stand whenever the Marseillaise plays (and make everyone else stand)? Where did he learn to identify wines by sound? ("Jacob's Creek Chardonnay 1991!") (Okay, stretch there.) Maybe it's all from his service in the Légion étrangère. His age is approximately appropriate (assuming Jack's meant to be at least a decade older than Frank Kelly) for WorldWarII, in which Ireland was neutral.
** Or, another explanation which would fit with his darker nature, he was one of the fanatical rightists who joined the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/33rd_Waffen_Grenadier_Division_of_the_SS_Charlemagne_(1st_French) 33rd Waffen Grenadier Division of the SS Charlemagne (1st French)]].
** One priest alluded to Jack being Polish.
*** Have to scrap that one. He was complaining about how Jack should have been pope instead of a polish man. Pope John Paull II was Polish.
** Maybe he fought in the Pacific, which could explain his description of the rabbits in "The Plague" as "hairy Japanese bastards!"

[[WMG: Father Dougal is a demon disguised as a human]]
He talks a bishop out of his faith and turns him into a New Ager in a single episode. He manages to finish a funeral with more bodies than he started. His feigned stupidity is the cause of half of Ted's problems.

[[WMG: Noel Furlong is [[Series/{{Sherlock}} Jim Moriarty]]'s embarrassing cousin.]]
He has the same ability to force groups of people to do his bidding, but only uses it for sing-alongs.

[[WMG: Bishop Brennan was defrocked after ''Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse'']]
Upon meeting ThePope, he screams "He ''did'' kick me up the arse!" and shoves him out of the way. Surely that would be a major strike against him. Or, in a LaserGuidedKarma moment, he gets demoted and [[ReassignedToAntarctica sent to Craggy Island]].
* And Ted will be made a bishop to fill the vacancy left by Brennan. Brennan is demoted to priest and exiled to Craggy Island and Ted will be able to use his new authority over Brennan and Dick Byrne to dish out some long-awaited revenge...

[[WMG: Dougal is the anti-christ.]]
It's just no one remembered to tell him.

[[WMG: Father Stone is a demon.]]
One that sucks the life force from anybody he stays with. Why else would Ted, Dougal, Jack and Mrs. Doyle seem to lose the will to live when he's around. Plus, that little grin at the end of the episode.
** And his grandmother Nana is the devil - her terrifying statement that she knows "what they're up to" indicates she could be a supernatural being.
*** Alternatively, Father Stone might be a physical manifestation of the guilt they feel that won't go away due to the actions that brought them to Craggy Island. The legend of "This Man" also features a character with thick eyebrows and a solemn expression, who has appeared in some peoples' dreams when something was troubling them. Whether they knew about this (it has been mainly spread by the internet) or not is unknown.

[[WMG: Mrs. Doyle had a mental breakdown after her husband died.]]
This would explain her neurotic behaviour, such as her obsession with taking care of Ted, Dougal, and Jack even when they don't want her to, as well as the fact that she freezes up whenever she thinks about her husband.

<<|WildMassGuessing|>>