[[caption-width-right:256:''"I'm Dalboz. Dalboz of Girth. They used to call me the Dungeon Master... at least until I got stuck in this lamp."'']]

->''Obey! Conform! Abstain! Ignore! Deny! Refrain! Cease! Appease! Shun! Avoid new sensations. Avoid all sensations! Avoid any sensation! Avoid unnecessary pleasantries! Avoid necessary pleasantries! Avoid libation! Avoid fermentation! Avoid all these in combinations. [[HeKnowsAboutTimedHits Save often!]] [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Floss regularly!]] Floss meaningfully! Floss athletically! And above all, never forget who is the boss of you.'' '''ME! I am the boss of you! ''I'' am the boss of you! I ''am'' the boss of you!'''
-->-- '''Mir Yannick, Grand Inquisitor'''

''Zork: Grand Inquisitor'' is a humorous 3D Point-and-Click AdventureGame, part of the ''VideoGame/{{Zork}}'' series, combining high quality (for 1997) 3D pictures, slightly lower quality animations, and text to describe the ending and the death scenes.

(Full back-story can be found [[http://thezorklibrary.com/theinquisition/zgi_backstory.htm here]], though parts of it conflict with the story in the game.)

About a hundred years before the start of the game, two fellow wizards-in-training, Mir Yannick and Dalboz of Girth became friends. However, while Dalboz was the most powerful and promising wizard in training, Mir was found to suffer from M.D.D. (Magic Deficit Disorder), and flunked out of the school. The two friends had a falling out, as well as Dalboz accidentally casting an immortality spell on them, and they went their separate ways. Dalboz retired to a cottage underground and became extremely bored (yet unable to kill himself), while Mir joined the Zorkastrian Seminary and advanced its ranks. During this time, magic began to decline, aided by Mir's use of the Totemizer, an ancient invention he refurbished, which rather than killing a magical creature or user (and thus allowing their magic to escape back into the environment), it would pulverize them and squish them, sealing them in a tiny token, forever unable to escape without the use of magic.

Dalboz came out of retirement to confront Yannick, but in the ensuing struggle Dalboz was nearly killed, but was transformed into a lantern (which Mir didn't see), and forgotten about.

With magic on the decline and the world in his hands, Mir Yannick ruled the land with an iron fist, using Totemization for the smallest crimes, and banned all magic use, instead forcing everyone to rely completely on technology, which had previously just been a supplement to magic (Zork has a technology level somewhere around UsefulNotes/WorldWarII. They can harness the power of electricity, and have radio, television, and movies, but don't have the technology for cars, planes, or firearms).

Enter the player, a vacuum salesman from PartsUnknown, who enters Port Foozle moments before curfew, and must find someplace to stay before he's found by Inquisition guards.

!!This game provides examples of:
* AliensInCardiff: One possible death sequence involves being totemized, tossed through a wormhole, and ending up spending eternity as a piece of litter lying on the side of the Jersey Turnpike.
* AllCrimesAreEqual: Stand around after curfew, and you'll be Totemized. Use magic, and you'll be Totemized. [[TooDumbToLive Climb into the Totemizer machine]] and you'll be Totemized. (Also, the penalty for solving a puzzle incorrectly is almost ''always'' a [[HaveANiceDeath gleefully narrated death.]])
* AlwaysClose:
** [[AvertedTrope Averted]] when you pour Cola onto Zork Rocks, making them go critical. It takes about a minute to explode, but only four seconds to get rid of them.
** Played straight with the Flood Control Dam puzzle, as it will always be solved just as Antharia Jack is about to step into the Totemizer.
* AndIMustScream: The process of totemization traps a creature's soul within a small totem, leaving them fully conscious but unable to move. And yes, it can happen to the player (although the game mercifully spares you the details of the long-term effects except in text form).
* AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence: [[spoiler:Dalboz in the ending. You end up taking over his role as Dungeon Master.]]
* BeneathTheEarth: The Great Underground Empire.
* BigNo: Over an uncooperative vending machine.
* BottomlessPits: You don't die at first, and raise a family with someone else who fell down the bottomless pit. (But it's still a NonstandardGameOver.)
* BreakingTheFourthWall: If you enter the well as soon as you get the rope when you start the game but not the lantern and wait. You hear loud snarling, chomping and then a belch. The game-over text says "You were eaten by a Grue, what was going through your head? A pitch black cave in a Zork game, what did you think was going to happen?"
* {{Calvinball}}: The player can find a rulebook for Double Fanucci in a locker that describes an assortment of bizarre cheating methods. When simplified by Kendall, it simply reads "the only way to win is not to play."
* CannedOrdersOverLoudspeaker: You encounter this a few times through the game. Drowning out noise with a loudspeaker in Port Foozle is part of the solution to a puzzle.
* ContinuityNod: One of the {{Cosmic Keystone}}s is kept inside the white house. The one with the mailbox. The Coconut of Quendor was also featured in ''Beyond Zork'', as the perfect container for the knowledge of magic during magic's destruction.
** The Cube of Foundation was the main plot device in the last game in the ''Enchanter'' trilogy, ''Spellbreaker''. And many of the spells in the game first appeared in the ''Enchanter'' trilogy.
** Flood Control Dam #3 features in several earlier ''Zork'' games.
** When the player gets [[spoiler:the door to Dalboz's house]] drunk, he says "Want some rye? Course ya do!" This is an [[CatchPhrase oft-repeated line]] from ''Return to Zork''.
*** The bartender at Port Foozle (in the past) thinks this when Lucy reads his mind.
*** Boos's Mill (where the line originated) is shown as a painting in Dalboz's bedroom.
** Scenes from ''[[VideoGame/ZorkNemesis Zork: Nemesis]]'' appear as images on the pillars puzzle at G.U.E. Tech, and there's a reference to Thaddium on the soda machine [[spoiler:(appropriately enough, the time-delayed explosive item shares some similarity with the Irondune breakout puzzle in ''Nemesis'')]].
** The flickering and bickering torches at the white house were first seen in ''VideoGame/ZorkZero''.
** At the end of the game [[spoiler:You take over the title of Dungeon Master, which also happened to the protagonist at the end of Zork 3]]
** If you [[TooDumbToLive climb inside the Totemizer]] with it set on "Inquisition Hall" the game states that you lay there in complete boredom for hundreds of years and eventually become [[ReturnToZork Ms.]] [[SadistTeacher Peeper's]] paperweight.
** Indeed, the game can be seen as one big ContinuityNod to the earlier ''Zork'' games.
* ControlRoomPuzzle: Two of them, one at the dam and the other in a prison.
* CoolAndUnusualPunishment: The Totemizer.
* CosmicKeystone: A Cube of Foundation, the [[JustForFun/TheZerothLawOfTropeExamples Skull of Yoruk]], and the Coconut of Quendor.
* CuttingTheKnot: [[spoiler:That cage surrounded by chessboards? All you have to do is smash it with a wooden plank.]]
** Also, the easy solution to the Hades Shuttle Courtesy Phone is to [[spoiler:cast Kendall, the "Simplify Instructions" spell.]]
** When you face a six-armed invisible guard blocking your way on a rope bridge, [[spoiler:you cut away the bridge, letting him fall to his death. You then build a new bridge using magic.]]
* DiscardAndDraw: Near the end of the game, the Inquisitor confiscates your spellbook and throws you in jail. Y'Gael gives you a scroll shortly after you escape, reversing the effects of everything in the book.
* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: The Flickering Torch's flicker and psychological ailment.
* DontFearTheReaper: Charon, the ferryman to hell, is depicted as a cab driver, wearing a cabbie's hat as jazz music plays on his boat.
* {{Expy}}: Antharia Jack plays an Franchise/IndianaJones style character on television, [[SubvertedTrope but is quite cowardly in person.]]
* FascistsBedTime: Curfew starts ''seconds'' after the game begins.
* FeaturelessProtagonist: [[Administrivia/RenamedTropes Former]] TropeNamer: it was once called AFGNCAAP.
* FMinusMinus: Apparently, Mir Yannick's overall grade at G.U.E. Tech was a ''Z minus''. That's a record, even for this trope.
* ForgottenSuperweapon: Lampshaded, as Dalboz points out a certain spell you've had since the beginning that would be ''really'' useful for finishing the game.
* ForInconveniencePressOne: Part of a puzzle to summon Charon and cross into Hades.
* FourthWallObserver: Dalboz is quite familiar with the mechanics of the game, especially saving and clicking.
--> '''Dalboz:''' A token, a slot. But how to put it all together without my "insert-token-into-slot" spell?
* GlobalCurrency: Zorkmids can be used anywhere in the Underground, provided you can find change from a bill first.
* GoofyPrintUnderwear: Antharia Jack strips himself down to his heart-print boxers in a game of Strip [[RockPaperScissors Grue Fire Water]].
* {{Hammerspace}}: The players inventory can hold pretty much anything. [[LampshadeHanging Lampshaded]] by Dalboz when the player puts a large vacuum on a vending machine.
-->'''Dalboz:''' Just where were you keeping that?
* HaveANiceDeath: Dying, being totemized or otherwise permanently messing up your quest results in a text scroll describing the aftermath of your last action. Falling down a bottomless pit, for example, leads to the computer describing how you fell for so long you died of old age. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dI5K5PuVvUM Here is a video showing all deaths]].
* {{Hypocrite}}: After running his entire regime persecuting and stamping down magic in favor of technology, the Grand Inquisitor succumbs to the temptation of the Coconut of Quendor's magic. [[spoiler:This gets him killed if you don't cast Maxov.]]
* InCaseOfXBreakGlass: Early on in the game, there is a glass case with a sword, a map and a hammer that reads 'In Case of Adventure, Break Glass.' You can open the case to take out the hammer, but you cannot remove the sword or the map until you close the case and smash the glass cover with the hammer.
* KleptomaniacHero
-->'''Lucy Flathead''': Ahh, the Adventurer's Creed. Steal anything that isn't nailed down, even if it's a federal offence.
* LaResistance
* LargeHam: Y'Gael the Enchantress. She tries as hard as she possibly can to sound ridiculously whimsical.
** Y'Gael is badly out-hammed by the Inquisitor himself, complete with [[HamAndCheese cheese]]. Also [[ChewingTheScenery scenery chewing]] in later cutscenes.
* LighterAndSofter: Compared to the previous game in the series, the much DarkerAndEdgier ''VideoGame/ZorkNemesis''.[[note]]Although, really, most Zork games look DarkerAndEdgier compared to this one.[[/note]]
* LotteryOfDoom: In the form of a multiple-choice scratcher ticket that ''immediately transports your soul to Hell'' if you choose incorrectly.
* MythologyGag (dozens of them, all from the ''Zork'' and ''Enchanter'' games)
** The HaveANiceDeath screen and summation is a MythologyGag to the text adventure format of the originals.
* NinjaButterfly: Since the protagonist is a HeroicMime, Dalboz provides commentary on everything found in the Underground and gives less-than-subtle hints if the player keeps trying something that will not work.
* PaintingTheMedium: When playing other characters or impersonating other creatures with magic, your view changes according to how they would see
* PlotTailoredToTheParty: Each time tunnel contains a fragment of Zork's past that only one of the totemized characters can explore. Griff can fly, Brog is strong, and Lucy can read minds.
* PsychicPowers: Lucy Flathead's telepathy.
* ReadingYourRights
-->'''Wartle''': Go ahead and read him his rights.\\
'''Guinea Pig''': ''(opens tiny book and reads)'' You have no rights.
* {{Retraux}}: {{Game Over}}s are described through classic Zork-style text prompts.
* RockPaperScissors: "Grue Fire Water."
* SchizoTech
* SchmuckBait: A sign near the entrance to GUE Tech warns the player not to Throck the grass. [[spoiler:Doing it anyway causes it to eat you.]]
* SharingABody: The Hades beast, with two heads on one body.
** After sending the Griff through a Time Tunnel, he'll start to complain about what you're making him do (stealing mail, touching a dragon's tooth, etc.). Is the AFGNCAAP sharing his body, or is it just a case of {{Breaking The Fourth Wall}}?.
* ShoutOut: The Coconut of Quendor is an apparent parody of the Amulet of Yendor, the MacGuffin from ''VideoGame/{{Rogue}}'' (and subsequently ''VideoGame/NetHack'').
** Two types of things the Hades beast assumes you're looking for are [[VideoGame/{{Myst}} red pages and blue pages]].
** If you try to gain entrance to the tavern with Griff, you'll occasionally get;
-->'''Floyd:''' We don't serve your kind here\\
'''Griff:''' Okay then. [[Franchise/StarWars I'll just wait out here with the droids.]]
** Near the start of the game, there's a computer in Antharia Jack's store showing a screen from the text adventure game ''VideoGame/{{Planetfall}}''.
** In the endgame, an off-screen guard says "[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Oh my god]], {{they killed Kenny|Again}}!"
** The game opens with a black and white newsreel ExpositionDump titled "Propaganda on Parade", mimicking the "News on the March" segment at the beginning of ''Film/CitizenKane''.
* SpiderSense: Dalboz and your [[TheLordOfTheRings glowing sword]].
* SpinningPaper: Shown in the intro.
* {{Spoonerism}}: While approaching a certain monster:
-->'''Dalboz:''' "Your sword is blowing glue! ...wait, let me try that again."
* TeleportersAndTransporters: "The fastest way to get around in the underground".
* TheCoronerDothProtestTooMuch: The previous Inquisitor "Tripped on the rug and accidentally strangled himself".
* TheManyDeathsOfYou: [[DarknessEqualsDeath Lingering in the darkness]], poking things armed with swords or [[SchmuckBait Throcking the grass]] are just a few of the ways to die.
* TimeyWimeyBall: At one point near the end of the game, Lucy Flathead time travels back to Port Foozle before the Inquisition took over, and ends up playing a game of Strip [[RockPaperScissors Grue Fire Water]] with Antharia Jack. If you lose, Lucy would run out of Jack's house in a panic and hide in a nearby building, where she eventually becomes the unseen fish merchant that you had to take a can of Mead Lite from at the beginning of the game.
* ToHellAndBack: The Underground's Underground stops off in Hades. Since it contains a party member, a scroll and a time tunnel, a lot of return trips are required.
* TooDumbToLive: [[RefusalOfTheCall You can climb out of the well at any time]], despite Dalboz warning you not to. [[ItsAWonderfulFailure Doing so gets you arrested, Dalboz confiscated, and you totemized]].
* HoldYourHippogriffs: "Sweet Yoruk!" and "Holy Hungus!"
* UnwinnableByDesign: At one point in the game, the Griff gets the Coconut of Quendor from within the mouth of a dragon, but then someone in the dragon's stomach says that he needs a coconut to make a piina colada and tosses you a rope for you to tie to a tooth. If you decide to drop the Coconut of Quendor down the dragon's throat instead to appease the guy, the Griff will comment, "Somehow I don't think that was its intended usage."
* ViolationOfCommonSense: There's a door in the Cathedral that's barred from the other side and cannot be unlocked with Rezrov. The only way through is to hurl yourself into the totemizer and let it transport you to a storage bin on the other side.
* TheVoice: We never actually see what Dalboz's human form looks like. It's even lampshaded in-game; when you find his student I.D he explains that he conveniently cast an "Turn embarrassing photo invisible" spell before you came along..
* WhatTheHellPlayer: Although most GameOver scenarios come with plenty of warning or are caused by failing a puzzle, a number can only be seen if the player goes out of their way to get themselves killed. The totemizer alone has eight unique fail states, and Dalboz will chew you out in a number of them.
-->'''Dalboz:''' Of all the choices, you decide to go ''straight to Hell!'' What exactly was the thought process involved in that decision?
* WhoWantsToLiveForever: Dalboz tries to kill himself in many ways, but cannot because of his immortality spell.
* WrongGenreSavvy: Upon defeating the Six-Armed Invisible Guard, Dalboz will inform you that "You gain 86 experience points and found a healing potion," before realising that he's being the [[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons wrong kind of Dungeon Master]].