[[quoteright:270:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ProgressQuest2.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:270:[[ExactWords It's just as fun as it looks!]]]]

''[[http://progressquest.com/ Progress Quest]]'' is a parody of [=RPGs=]. No actual user input is required once the game is started. Combat takes a set length of time and the rest of the game is based around this. It takes X fights to complete a quest. You need to complete Y quests to gain Z experience to reach the next level. Quests, loot, monsters and spells are [[RandomNumberGod randomly]] generated from set lists.

Players can form guilds and set a motto. Along with a few aesthetic selections for the player character, that is all the customization available.
----
!!This features examples of:
%%%
%%%Zero Context Examples are commented out. To restore them please read the tropes and describe
%%%how this work uses them.
%%%

* AlternativeCalendar: [[http://progressquest.com/calendar.php Described here.]] Of course, it never appears in-game and its structure is just as silly as everything else.
* AmazingTechnicolorWildlife: Dragons are distinguished by their colors, which go from standard (red, green, black, white...) to metallic (gold, silver, brass, tin...) to unusual (beige, plaid).
* AuthorVocabularyCalendar: Many of the equipment names, particulary weapons. Rather than just generic swords, maces and the like, the characters wield things like culverins, poleaxes, spontoons and whinyards.
* AutomaticLevel: It's an entire automatic ''game''.
* CallARabbitASmeerp: The introduction in the "manual" is peppered liberally with nonsense words, a ''few'' of which can be tied to real world concepts.
--> Though scarce a tuft of ''mansefur'' had yet made its appearance on the boy's ''manssach'', a number of visiting Roilwachhs have begun to exhibit a discreet and seemingly inexplicable interest in the boy. Strange indeed, as he would not reach his krouchensterm for another harvest or more.
* CoolBike: One of the races is "Enchanted Motorcycle".
* DeconstructionGame: Basically a deconstruction of the whole MMO genre.
* ElementalEmbodiment: Some monsters are elemental embodiments. They include some... ''non-standard'' elements along the more common ones, such as bacon, cheese or ''porn''.
* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: the 3-D version, which is exactly the same as the regular version except with 3-D dialog bevels.
* ExactProgressBar: [[JustifiedTrope Justified]], as the progress bars are all just glorified timers anyway.
* GameplayAndStorySegregation: Completing a quest such as "Exterminate the wologs" doesn't stop you from encountering wologs during future quests.
* GameplayAndStoryIntegration: When doing an "Exterminate the X" quest, you'll tend to fight said X a bit more often.
* GameplayAutomation: The entire point.
* IdleGame: One of, if not ''the'' first.
* ImpossibleItemDrop: You get the weirdest loot from slain monsters.
* LevelGrinding: The entire "point" of the game. "My Progress Quest character is of level such-and-such" is only a different way to say "I've run this Progress Quest file for such-and-such many hours".
* MassMonsterSlaughterSidequest: Quests nominally have different goals like "fetch me a X" or "deliver this Y" but progress is always measured by the number of monsters executed anyway.
* MoneySpider: Averted, enemies never drop actual gold.
* NinjaPirateZombieRobot: The slight overlap between race and class (one class is "Robot Monk") allows some weird stuff, and some race/classes are weird on their own. With this you can build an Enchanted Motorcycle Voodoo Princess...
* OneStatToRuleThemAll: Kinda. Strength is the ''only'' stat that affects gameplay at all, namely, how much loot you can carry (STR + 10): greater strength means bigger backpacks, means less trips to the city, means faster grinding. Wisdom has some effect on what spells you learn, but your spell list is never actually used for anything.
* OrganDrops: Most if not nearly all of the available drops are in the form of a body part.
* {{Plunder}}: Pretty much what the whole game is about, other than leaving it on. It even gives the progress bar the status of "Heading to the killing fields" after you get better equipment.
* RunningGag: Everyone in the community pretends that the ''Progress Quest'' you can download is a {{shareware}} version, and that there's a variety of paid versions (Silver, Gold, Platinum, Carbon Nanotube, etc.). Paid ''Progress Quest'' is apparently the best game of all time.
* SentientVehicle: The "Enchanted Motorcycle" race is this.
* SoBadItsGood: One of the few instances where it's successfully intentionally invoked.
* SpellBook: While absolutely useless, one exists and it sports a healthy variety of both believable and highly unorthodox spells.
* UnbuiltTrope: ''Progress Quest'' could very well be the world's first IdleGame, but the it was designed to be a DeconstructiveParody of LevelGrinding in [=MMORPGs=] by having the game play itself--the whole idea behind it is that such games are '''not''' fun.
* UnitConfusion: Your encumbrance is measured in cubits.
* WouldHurtAChild: The RNG will often throw an adjective in the description of your current adversary, and it's not uncommon to find yourself fighting "teenage", "preadolescent", "baby" or even "foetal" whatevers. This makes no difference at all to your character.

----