[[quoteright:80:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/leftswordguy.gif]]

"Hi, I'm all over Wiki/TVTropes."

''AnAdventurerIsYou!''

The Kingdom of Loathing (2003) is a browser-based {{MMORPG}} by Zack "Jick" Johnson and Josh "Mr. Skullhead" Nite. The overarching plot of the game, such as it is, involves defeating the aptly-named Naughty Sorceress, who has imprisoned the beloved ruler of the Kingdom, King Ralph XI, in a prism (this is known in-game as his being [[JustForPun "imprismed"]]). But first you have to level up your character through the usual rigmarole of {{Fetch Quest}}s, monster hunting, and LevelGrinding. There are several things that make this game fairly unique among {{MMORPG}}s, however:

#It is completely free, though donations are accepted, appreciated, and encouraged by the offering of a powerful accessory for a ten-dollar donation, which in turn can be traded for a powerful "item of the month", which is only available for a limited time, but it can also be bought from other players for in-game currency.
#The game's graphics consist almost entirely of [[StylisticSuck stick figures and other crude black-and-white drawings]].
#The game possesses a sense of humor that is at times snarky, scathingly satirical, and loaded with pop culture references, including parodies of other [=RPGs=]. For example, the Dungeons of Doom are homages to the game ''VideoGame/NetHack'', while another zone is the "Penultimate Fantasy Airship", with monsters that take the piss out of SquareEnix games (mainly ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII'' and ''VideoGame/DragonQuest''). In fact, it has been described as "VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft as written by Creator/MontyPython and illustrated by Webcomic/{{xkcd}}".

The last one is the biggest draw of the game for many. For example, the tutorial quest involves doing tasks for a talking bird known as the (wait for it) [[PunnyName Toot Oriole]]. "''Meat''" is the [[GlobalCurrency currency of the realm]], simultaneously parodying and justifying the RPG tradition of [[MoneySpider monsters dropping money when defeated]]. Monsters include not only such traditional fantasy fare as goblins, gnolls, and vampires, but also hippies, Orcish frat boys, Ninja Snowmen, ASCII smileys, and zmobies (which are like zombies, except they were misspelled by a magical accident) and a late-game quest involves a long and complex search for a device literally called the Holy MacGuffin. Then there's the six character classes:
* Seal Clubbers (Offensive Muscle), barbarians who "hail from [[GrimUpNorth the frigid Northlands]], because [[LampshadeHanging one character class always hails from the frigid Northlands]]". They fight viciously in combat, [[TheBerserker building up Fury]] to power up some of their attacks, and can summon demonic seals so they can club them. They can also learn to craft advanced weapons and DualWield.
* Turtle Tamers (Defensive Muscle), heavily-armored warriors who can cast buffs to improve their (and others') defense and affinity with their familiars, use their armor as weapons, and channel the Great Turtle Spirits to give them an edge in combat. They can also learn to craft advanced armor, and with the right equipment can tame turtles (which can be used as combat items, to make armor, or even become familiars, depending on the turtle in question).
* Pastamancers (Offensive Mysticality), spellcaster/chefs who attack with powerful spells like "Ravioli Shurikens" and "Cannelloni Cannon" and summon food-themed spirit entities known as "Pasta Thralls". They can also learn to prepare delicious noodle dishes.
* Saucerors (Defensive Mysticality), spellcasters who fight by conjuring blasts of hot and cold sauces and casting sauce curses upon their enemies. They're also able to conjure "saucespheres", gather Soul Sauce from enemies to power special skills, and brew sauces for Pastamancers to cook with or potions to buff themselves (or others).
* Disco Bandits (Offensive [[GuileHero Moxie]]), rogues who fight with [[KnifeNut knives]] or [[ArcherArchetype ranged weapons]], along with [[DanceBattler a variety of debilitating dance moves]]. They are the only class specializing in booze, capable of learning the Advanced, Superhuman, and Salacious Cocktailcrafting skills.
* Accordion Thieves (Defensive [[GuileHero Moxie]]), bards who [[MusicalAssassin use their ill-gotten instruments in combat]] as well as to cast an astounding variety of buffs on themselves and others by playing songs (like "the Moxious Madrigal" and "the Power Ballad of the [[Music/{{Aerosmith}} Arrowsmith]]").

The game mechanics revolve around three stats: Muscle (the primary stat of Seal Clubbers and Turtle Tamers, boosts HP, melee skill and weapon damage), Mysticality (the primary stat of Pastamancers and Saucerors, boosts [[{{Mana}} MP]] and spell power), and Moxie (the primary stat of Disco Bandits and Accordion Thieves, boosts evasion, damage reduction and ranged skill). Players get a number of "turns" each day, called "Adventures", and can get more turns through food and booze. Players level up their character by earning experience points (in the form of "sub-stat" points) as they adventure, either from slaying monsters, from certain non-combat adventures, or again from eating and drinking. One can also gather a variety of helpful monsters known as "familiars", which do everything from fighting to healing you to helping you get more experience, meat, or items from monsters, to absolutely nothing, to [[SelfImposedChallenge increasing the challenge of the game]] [[StopHelpingMe by hindering you constantly]].

We could go on (and on and on and on), but why not [[http://kingdomofloathing.com experience it for yourself]]?
----
!This game is the TropeNamer for:
* AnAdventurerIsYou!
* NinjaPirateZombieRobot
* NoobCave
* PhotoprotoneutronTorpedo
----
!!This game provides examples of:
* AbnormalAmmo: Pastamancers can cast spells that hit enemies with things like [[CreepyChild creepy little girls]], [[KillItWithIce Ex-girlfriends]], or [[BrownNote foul language.]]
** The Gift-A-Pult allows you to fire any Gift item (something that cannot be bought or sold in the mall). Designer Handbags, Valentine's Day Gifts and ''other'' Gift-A-Pults are the strongest ammo.
** Some of the "ordinary" (loosest possible sense of the word) weapons have this as well. To cite one example, you can build a crossbow which fires ghuolash, which is [[EdibleAmmunition food]] (that is, if you're willing to eat [[IAteWhat the flesh of an undead monster that eats corpses]].)
* AbsurdlySpaciousSewer: Hobopolis.
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: The three stats are '''M'''uscle, '''M'''ysticality, and '''M'''oxie. Your skill points are called "MP" regardless of what your main stat is, but the meaning changes--Muscularity Points, Mana Points, or Mojo Points.
* AdultFear: One of the darker zones comes from using a psychoanalytic jar to explore the psychoses of the Crackpot Mystic, an old man who lives in a shack and gives players access to the 8-Bit Realm, a low-level zone full of references to old-school video games. The game's trademark HurricaneOfPuns and [[ReferenceOverdosed smarmy pop-culture references]] largely goes out the window in favor of a sidequest to fight embodiments of the Mystic's Anger, Fear, Doubt, and Regret, which have apparently overwhelmed him. Said embodiments take the form of pixellated monsters and power-ups which will taunt you repeatedly as you fight them, and some of their taunts might hit a little too close to home for the player. For instance, one of the monsters you can encounter is the morbid skull, representing the Crackpot Mystic's fears over his own mortality, and here are some of its hit messages:
-->"Soon. Sooner with every passing day," it whispers. Your stomach churns.
-->"It'll happen," it whispers. "To you, and to everyone you know. It is inevitable." You bristle with horror.
-->"Nothing," it whispers. "Forever." You shudder.
* AerithAndBob: Infernal Rackets, a band playing at Hey Deze arena, comprises Bognort, Stinkface, Flargwurm, and Jim.
* AffablyEvil: The BigBad of the 2013 Crimbo event. There's a reason the adventure you encounter him in is called "The civil warbear."
* TheAggressiveDrugDealer: A Suspicious-Looking Guy.
** Also, [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Mind_the_Fine_Print this Bad Moon guy]].
* AlcoholInducedIdiocy: Getting too drunk results in normal adventures being overridden by Drunken Stupors, which occasionally result in very stupid actions.
* AlienInvasion: The "Bugbear Invasion" challenge path.
* [[AllThereInTheManual All There In The Manuel]]: The Monster Manuel, a Mr.Store item that lets you see the monster stats and collect some fun trivia that are otherwise little or not mentioned about them.
* AllNaturalGemPolish: The rock candy players could mine during the 2011 Crimbo event was [[LampshadeHanging "already in convenient ingot form"]].
* AlternateTimeline: [[spoiler: It's revealed at the end of a Zombie Slayer run that Rene C. Corman has set the entire Kingdom back to the days of the [[ThePlague Gray Plague]], this time preventing the invention of its cure.]]
* AlternateUniverse: The Bugbear Invasion challenge path is described as "a parallel universe in which the Kingdom has been invaded by hostile bugbears from a different parallel universe."
* AltText: The image names for the trophies serve this purpose, usually adding in one more [[ShoutOut reference]].
* AluminiumChristmasTrees: Asbestos really ''is'' mined, despite appearing in an improbable fantasy mine in which the other ores are chrome and linoleum. It does not come in huge ore chunks, though.
** Jick has admitted that he didn't know asbestos and chrome were mined when he wrote it.
** The real stuff probably wasn't made by subjecting fire-breathing dragons to the same process that got oil out of dinosaurs, though.
* AlwaysChaoticEvil: Seals.
** There's one seal that you can take and raise as a familiar, but it's still viciously violent, just directed at your enemies instead. So at least they're loyal. However, a later update made it so that it won't attack other seals.
** Bees. They suck. The Guy Made of Bees is even worse.
** [[OurMermaidsAreDifferent Mer-kin.]] They're all out for your blood, at all times. Even if you're disguised as one of them. And they have a penchant for summoning {{Eldritch Abomination}}s.
** Dolphins. Or, if not evil, they sure are huge jerks for no reason.
* AmericanGothicCouple: An enemy in the Haunted Gallery.
* AnAxeToGrind: The only weapon you will be able to use in an Avatar of Boris run is [[ICallItVera Trusty]], a two-handed axe.
* AncientConspiracy: The Brotherhood of One, the frat that the Frat Boy Orcs belong to. [[spoiler:Zombo, the boss of the Ancient Hobo Burial Ground, is their grand master. When you wear his ring, any male Frat Orc that sees it will recognize you as his superior and commit suicide by paddling. Or if you blasted them to the stone age, grunt in acknowledgement before slamming a rock on their head.]]
* AndIMustScream: Ed the Undying ''[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin is]]''. And you leave him with wounds that immobilize him...
* AndYourRewardIsEdible: Food and booze are common quest rewards, or bonus things you end up getting while doing quests. [[TheGenericGuy Bart Ender, owner of the Typical Tavern]], gives you some of his tavern's trademark booze [[FridgeLogic (which the tavern doesn't actually sell)]] for getting rats out of his cellar.
* AndYourRewardIsClothes: Even more common than food/booze rewards. Completing the entire game in [[SelfImposedChallenge hardcore mode]] as certain classes earns you a steel hat or [[ImpossiblyCoolClothes steel pants]]. [[UpToEleven Even harder completions]] get you hats/pants made out of plexiglass or [[FireAndBrimstoneHell brimstone]].
* {{Animesque}}: the battle with Yakisoba the Executioner, complete with a swirl of CherryBlossoms and TheThingThatGoesDoink when he shows up, as well as MotionLines and intense music ([[StylisticSuck which the character can hear and see, but the player can't]]) when he attacks you.
** [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Chori_Zo Chori Zo.]]
** The entirety of the 2012 holiday event was this, when Uncle Crimbo fired his workers and replaced them with Japanese culture elves whose names are a mishmash of Anime titles and GratuitousJapanese. Culminates in an interactive HumongousMecha fight. The exclusive item? A manga comic book that lets you do the fight again.
* AnotherDimension: The 8-Bit Realm, accessed using the Continuum Transfunctioner from the Crackpot Mystic. In it one fights, among other things, [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Goombas]] and [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Octoroks]]. By using a map that fell out of an [[Magazine/NintendoPower antique 8-bit power magazine]], one can also reach [[Franchise/{{Castlevania}} Vanya's Castle]].
* AnimalWrongsGroup: The [[FunWithAcronyms CARNIVORE operative]], encountered during the Hippy war quest, is a member. The operative drops a button that [[TakeThat annoys enemies, causing them to hit you harder]]. They also appeared during Crimbo 2009, protesting a puppy-related Mall of Loathing promo... only to have one of their number similarly and painfully used the next day.
* AnimatedArmor: The "empty suit of armor" enemy.
* AnthropomorphicPersonification: Numerous.
** Uncle Crimbo is the personification of Christm....[[YouMeanXmas Crimbo.]]
** Lynnea the Scream Queen is this to Halloween.
*** All-Hallow's Steve is the personification of the [[YouCanPanicNow fear of the other in modern day Halloween.]] [[RazorApples Apples with razors, candies with syringes and xanax, etc.]]
** Peanut; the personification of ''your'' inner madness.
* AntiPoopSocking: You only get a limited number of adventures per day, normally 40, though there are many ways to increase this. Furthermore, unused adventures naturally accumulate up to 200, thereby removing most of the incentive for casual players to play every single day.
** However, your stomach/liver/spleen levels get reset every day, and these are the things to give you extra adventures; if you don't play every day you only get the extra rollover adventures, possibly missing on hundreds from a single day.
** There are also abilities and machines that players may want to use as much as possible that "recharge" daily.
* ApologeticAttacker: The warehouse worker in the Turtle Tamer's nemesis lair apologizes for attacking you, remarking that he's [[PunchClockVillain on the clock]].
* ArbitrarySkepticism: The Pretentious Artist doesn't believe in [[FireAndBrimstoneHell Hey Deze]], despite the general absurdity of the world and the fact that, as he himself puts it, "people go there all the time and bring back souvenirs." He tells you this while you're ''wearing'' a bunch of these souvenirs.
* ArcNumber: The number 11 appears [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/11 all over the place]]. It's ridiculous; it's not even funny. It is a reference to the song "Time Zones" by Negativland.
** Also, 37. [[Franchise/TheViewAskewniverse In a row.]]
** And there's also the fairly well-hidden joke about the number 23. [[spoiler:FNORD]]
** 12 also shows up a lot, although that could just be a coincidence.
** They also mock the shit out of the ThirteenIsUnlucky trope.
* ArmCannon: The Armgun, gained from someone who is definitely ''not'' [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Barett]]. [[{{Squick}} His severed forearm is still attached.]]
** Also the four weapons obtained by defeating the boss monsters in the Crackpot Mystic's Psychoses.
* ArsGoetia: Azazel is one of your quest givers. [[spoiler:He has crossdressing tendencies and is slightly creepy.]]
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: The innermost circle of Hey Deze: "Given the high rates of murder, armed robbery, and jaywalking, it's the hottest piece of real estate in Hey Deze (which is saying a lot for a place composed primarily of brimstone and magma)."
** The message given when first entering Azazel's Temple:
--> It's your basic evil hellish demon dwelling: the decorative motifs include blood, pulsating skin, flames, and the occasional throw rug to add some visual interest.
* AscendedMeme: A [[http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showthread.php?t=182621 silly forum thread]] has one player complaining about how one non-combat adventure involving a hippo ballet does not contain an actual picture of a hippo in a tutu. In the next KoL convention, [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Hippo_Ballerina this familiar]] was being sold. (However, [[ExactWords while the familiar in question is "a hippo in a tutu", it's not a hippo ''wearing'' a tutu, it's a hippo that was found ''inside'' a tutu.]] The familiar itself is just wearing a leotard, and [[LampshadeHanging sometimes mentions that she wishes she had a frilly skirt to wear]]) Around this time, Jick and Mr.Skullhead put tutus on their forum avatars.
** Long ago, Hobopolis was a running gag on the KoL Thursday night radio show. It eventually became the first clan dungeon.
* AssKicksYou: You can wear an asshat (made of two bum cheeks). There's a headbutt attack. Go figure.
** Even more to the point, certain monsters made in the Kingdom's early history had the miss message, "He tries to headbutt you, but you turn around and butthead him."
** Since Crimbo 2010, two new possible monsters have graced the kingdom, along with a photocopier to help provide them. [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Your_butt Your butt]] and [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Somebody_else%27s_butt somebody else's butt]].
** On AprilFoolsDay 2011, the butts of several of the developers showed up as enemies, and dropped special items [[{{Squick}} (no, not that. Not that either.)]]
* AttackOfThe50FootWhatever: ''You'', the adventurer, can pick a fight with ''[[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Whole_Kingdom the entire Kingdom]]''! Unfortunately, it's too tough to be defeated (everything deals exactly 1 damage to it) and too weak to defeat you (it can only hit you if you have less than 8 Moxie, which is unlikely, or it criticals, which deals only 1 damage). Naturally, [[http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showthread.php?t=209935 it's been defeated]].[[note]]By exploiting a now-fixed bug involving excessive Monster Level and passive damage, mind you, but it has indeed happened.[[/note]]
* AwesomeButImpractical: The ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon. You have no idea how to use it, but it looks totally badass.
** Becomes practical if you're wearing the Clockwork Apparatus outfit. The Apparatus has random beneficial effects that trigger on (and replace) fumbled attacks, and the ninja weapon has the highest fumble chance of any equipment (tied with the vibrating cyborg knife, which is no longer available) and also triples the chance of criticals (with the best weapons granting five times the chance). Also, it means you're a clockwork ninja, which is just ''freaking awesome.'' To throw it over the top, one of the required parts of the outfit is a clockwork ''BadassLongcoat.''
* BackgroundMagicField: Mentioned once or twice.
* BadassBoast:
** Kinda parodied when you fight [[spoiler:Ed the Undying]].
** In the final boss fight:
-->"Behold my true form, adventurer, and behold it well, for it is the last thing you will ever behold!"
* BaitAndSwitchBoss: Seems to be a feature of special challenge runs.
** If you choose to play a 'Bees Hate You' run, [[spoiler:the Naughty Sorceress' sausage form is killed by the Guy Made of Bees, a BonusBoss in normal runs.]]
** In Avatar of Boris; [[spoiler:the sausage is replaced by The Avatar of Sneaky Pete.]] And in Bugbear Invasion, this effectively happens before the game even starts: a giant bugbear mothership has crashed on the original final boss's lair, and you eventually end up fighting the mothership's final boss instead of the regular one.
** And in Zombie Slayer: [[spoiler:Rene C. Corman, long-missing BigBad from the Valhalla arc, kills the Naughty Sorceress and takes over for the final battle.]]
** Twice in Avatar of Jarlsberg! [[spoiler:Clancy, Boris's herald, attacks you in place of the familiar test, and the Avatar of Boris has struck down the Naughty Sorceress herself (all forms) and serves as the final boss.]]
** And in [=KOLHS=]: [[spoiler:Principal Mooney replaces the Naughty Sorceress.]]
** One more time in Avatar of Sneaky Pete: [[spoiler:the Avatar of Jarlsberg finishes the triangle by replacing the last stage of the Naughty Sorceress.]]
** Nearly every quest-relevant boss in Heavy Rains is replaced by a watery clone, though Ed the Undying manages to subvert it.
* BareFistedMonk: Some Disco Bandits build on their existing DanceBattler style with the optional skill "Kung Fu Hustler", which offers a set of progressive bonuses for fighting without anything equipped in the hands. When combined with their other skills and "combat items" (weaponlike and used from inventory), this makes regular weapons unnecessary.
** For some time, combining the halo-type accessories from Summon Clip Art, which give a large bonus only if you don't have a weapon equipped, combined with Kung Fu Hustler, was the best playstyle for speed ascenders. That is, until [[PowerCreep Summon Smithsness]] was created.
** "Way of the Surprising Fist" is a challenge path, where one cannot wield any weapons; gains martial skills from certain areas, and money drops are extremely cut back due to a vow of poverty.
* BattleInTheRain: Invoked via [[RainDance rain-summoning]] during 'The Last Stand,' an event which only triggers [[GuideDangIt under very specific circumstances]].
* BattleInTheCenterOfTheMind: The [[{{PunnyName}} Angry Jung Man]] familiar drops psychoanalytical jars, which can be used on certain {{NPC}}s (including Jick, [[{{LuckBasedMission}} if you're lucky]]). Using the jars of psychoses that result open up zones that fit the trope.
* BackAlleyDoctor: "Under the Knife" in the obviously-named Sleazy Back Alley is how you can [[GenderBender change genders]] in-run.
* BearsAreBadNews: The 2013 Crimbo event has players fighting PowerArmor-wearing polar bears that are trying to sabotage Uncle Crimbo's toy factory.
* BeastlyBloodsports: There is an adventure in the SouthOfTheBorder area where you can bet on a cockfight -- or refuse in disgust: "This flagrant display of cruelty to living creatures disgusts you. [[HypocriticalHumor You decide to head back to the Icy Peak and eviscerate some more Yetis.]]"
* BeeBeeGun: The Guy Made Of Bees, from a spooooky tale, is summoned Bloody Mary style in [[BigBoosHaunt Spookyraven Manor's]] Bathroom. He has approximately the same strength as the monsters in The Naughty Sorceress' Tower, and is killed the same way with a specific item. It is [[LordBritishPostulate possible, albeit extremely difficult]], to kill him in normal combat.
** Simply, the last guy who beat him without the specific item was a Lvl. 117 Pastamancer. It takes maybe 2 years to get to level 100+, unless leveling up is the only thing you care about.
*** Power creep moves on, and now it's possible to kill most of the Gimmick Kill bosses with one donation item and a little bit of [[http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showthread.php?t=183785 know how]].
*** It's now possible for ''any'' player with enough patience using Way of the Surprising Fist skills.
* BewitchedAmphibians: [=CLEESH=] turns your enemy into a frog, newt, or salamander. It makes them much easier to fight, and they'll drop potion ingredients, e.g. eye of newt.
* {{BFS}}: The Ridiculously Huge Sword that's dropped by someone who is definitely not Cloud. It's a ''three'' handed weapon.
* BigBad: The Naughty Sorceress.
** Second only to her is recurring villain Rene C. Corman. He was the mastermind of the Valhalla world event, [[spoiler:initiated the Grey Plague under the name Christobal Colon, and is the final boss and source of the ZombieApocalypse in the Zombie Slayer path]].
* BigBallOfViolence: [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Ninja_Snowman_Weaponmaster Ninja Snowman Weaponmaster]] and [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/A_Barroom_Brawl A Barroom Brawl]].
* BigBoosHaunt: three, the Defiled Crypt, Misspelled Cematary, and [[HauntedHouse Spookyraven Manor]]
** The Haunted Sorority House 2011 Halloween event.
** The clan dungeon Dreadsylvania.
* BigEater: Everyone becomes this during the Feast of Boris, gaining doubled eating capacity for the day. Players on the Avatar of Boris path are Big Eaters every day and have numerous eating-related skills, but they also [[CantHoldHisLiquor get drunk very quickly]].
* BiggerBad: One is implied to exist in the Accordion Thief version of the Nemesis Quest. In the mariachi mansion, you find a chessboard with pieces resembling the notable figures of Loathing. The Naughty Sorceress is the black queen, the black king is "a swirly demonic looking thing you don't recognize."
* BiggerThanJesus: One quest sees players have to advertise for a band by pasting fliers to monsters. One of the messages you can get if you go back to the concert arena before you're done advertising says that the band has become "more popular than [[{{Pun}} cheeses]]."
* BigNO: "'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!' you shout, raising your arms to the sky."
* BigRedDevil: Imps.
* BilingualBonus: When you cause a DisasterDominoes accident in the office in the Dwarves' factory complex, you end up staring at a file-folder with "ピタゴラスイッチ" written on it. The character assumes it's Dwarvish for "you've just made a hell of a mess", but it's actually Japanese for "Series/PythagoraSwitch", which is their term for a RubeGoldbergDevice.
** The description and use text (and name) for "spaghetti con calaveras" is entirely in Spanish. The description and name of Salsa de la Epocas is the name and description of the Sauce of the Ages (another item) in Spanish as well.
* BindleStick: These drop from hobos in Hobopolis. There are 5 types, one for each element. (And one holiday-event one. And tiny one for your Hobo Monkey.)
* BioAugmentation: the Unstable DNA item, which, when drunk, gives the status buff "Yuletide Mutations", which buffs all stats + 50%, the damage of the "Mutant Coture" armor and the potency of "Consume Burrowgrub" for 10 adventures. Unstable DNA is also integral in making the "Pair of Ragged Claws" familiar and the "Burrowgrub Hive" furnishing.
** There is also the [[Film/{{Gremlins}} Gremlin Mutagen]] and the Glowing Syringe ([[ShoutOut obtained from a big monster in a diving suit with a creepy little girl familiar, natch]]) that "[[Franchise/BioShock Biologically Shocks]]" your DNA.
** Stephen Spookyraven's quest branch in the Lights Out adventures reveals [[spoiler: that he started grafting pieces of his pets onto himself after his surgical experiments on them invariably failed]].
* BlandNameProduct: Many examples. BRICKO bricks, Willer beer, and a Red Minotaur energy drink are among them. The Bag of W&Ws lampshades the fact that it's a "lower-quality knock-off version of the original for way less money."
* BloodBath: {{Invoked|Trope}} in one of the potential descriptions for the stench vampires in Dreadsylvania... and mocked by the narrator pointing out that a bath-tub full of blood would quickly coagulate and rot. In this case, it explains the foul odor of the [[ElementalRockPaperScissors stench-aligned]] vampire.
* BonusBoss: Baron Von Ratsworth, the "Ultra-Rare" monsters that drop the aptly-named [[CaptainObvious Ultra-Rare items]], Hodgman the Hoboverlord and his Hobopolis Lieutenants, the Mother Slime, the Guy Made of Bees, the ElderGods of Violence and Hatred, the list goes on.
* BonusDungeon: Fernswarthy's Basement (infinite in depth; but with special rewards at every 100 levels up to level 500), the various (clan-member-only) raid dungeons, and The Sea (which is only accessible after acquiring the scuba gear in the final dungeon).
** Some dungeons, such as the Palindome (where everything is a palindrome) and Spookyraven Manor (especially the top floor) were optional, before [=NS13=] made them part of the new quests.
** One of the 2013 yearly familiars, the Angry Jung Man, drops Psychoanalytic Jars that let you explore the deranged minds of some of the Kingdom's [=NPCs=], such as the Meatsmith and the Pretentious Artist (and on rare occasions, the game's creator Jick)
** The February 2013 Mr. Store item allows you to fight through a randomized dungeon in-run to acquire special equipment, but if not handled properly can delay your quest.
* BookEnds: The Zombie Slayer path begins and ends with your character being hungry and offered a sandwich. The first time, your character has just been turned into a zombie with free will, and the person offering the sandwich doesn't survive your first experience with HorrorHunger. The second time, [[spoiler: you've been cured and can finally enjoy that sandwich.]]
* BooksThatBite: One of the types of enemy found in Spookyraven Manor's Haunted Library.
* BoozeBasedBuff: Booze, along with food, is one of the ways to gain more adventures per day.
* BoringYetPractical: The first Accordion Thief song, the Moxious Madrigal, gives a flat +10 to Moxie. You'd be amazed how often this comes in handy.
* BottomlessBladder / NobodyPoops: Lampshaded at [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/No_Privacy The Road to the White Citadel]], as well as [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/You_Look_Flushed The Haunted Bathroom (Bad Moon only)]].
* BowtiesAreCool: There's [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Mafia_bow_tie lots]] [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Polka-dot_bow_tie of]] [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Tasteful_black_bow_tie wearable]] [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Hodgman%27s_bow_tie bow]] [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Gray_bow_tie tie]] [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Farfalle_bow_tie items.]] Each bowtie's description claims bowties are [[ZigZaggingTrope uncool, cool, or something else entirely.]] Plus there's [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Bow_Tie_Bat bow tie familiar-oid.]]
* BraggingRightsReward: Pretty much all the Ascension rewards, though the Brimstone items - especially the Bunker - in particular, being some of the most powerful items in the game.
** The Slime and Hobo rewards as well, especially Hodgman's items, which require a very, very speedy run through Hobopolis be done in order to get some of them.
** Trophies are completely useless except for showing them off, and not only do they cost meat, but qualifying for one often requires significant expenditure of effort.
* BrainBleach: the "seedy Photocopy" advertising slime porn shows gives you a headache.
** South of the Border's semi-rare gives an item that makes you so offended sleaze is weakened against you. [[spoiler:Donkey flipbook. Yeah. (If you don't know what a donkey show or a Tijuana bible is... don't ask.)]]
* BreadEggsBreadedEggs: On the front page. "Like [=KoL=]? On Facebook? Then why not like [=KoL=] on Facebook?"
* BreadEggsMilkSquick: a recurring joke format. "He notices how dirty you are and decides to give you the full treatment - deep exfoliation, sea-salt scrub, sucking chest wound -- wait, what was that last one?"
* BreakableWeapons: The Antique set are the first max-power gear you see, but they slow you down and have a small chance of breaking each round they're used. The Tome Of Sugar Shummoning can also create temporary equipment that only lasts for 30 rounds, after which it breaks and you can eat the pieces.
** And the X-37 multipurpose gun (think ''Film/TheFifthElement''), as sooner or later you'll notice and [[SchmuckBait push]] the blinking red button.
* BreakingLecture: An EasterEgg available after you complete the Nemesis questline has a pretty hefty one. [[spoiler:When your Nemesis goes OneWingedAngel, he/she/it does so by invoking the (randomly generated) Demon Lord of Revenge. If you have access to the Spookyraven Manor summoning circle, you can actually summon the Lord of Revenge, who gleefully explains how you and your Nemesis were NotSoDifferent. The whole experience shakes your character to their core, as shown by the resulting debuff fittingly called "Existential Torment".]]
* BribingYourWayToVictory: A $10 donation earns you a "Mr. Accessory", which gives you a significant boost to your stats, but can also be traded in at "Mr. Store" for extra-powerful special items or familiars.
** Donating $10 Canadian earns you a "Mr. Eh?" instead of "Mr. A." Once upon a time, the item was slightly less powerful than Mr. A--in fact, it fluctuated with the Canadian:American exchange rate, as a humorous TakeThat on the value of Canadian money, but [[OverusedRunningGag the joke wore thin]], and now the only difference is that Mr. Eh? can't be used at Mr. Store.
** The Mr. Store items are unequippable/unusable in Hardcore, however.
** Magic-Spellbook-type Items Of The Month and Familiars Of The Month ''are'' usable in HC, however, except in [[NintendoHard Bad Moon]] and certain challenge paths. In fact, several of these are considered necessary if you want to be "optimal" (finishing an ascension in less than a week). A few of the top-tier Familiars and Tomes are the He-Boulder (can force an enemy to drop all of its potential drops), Llama Lama, Infant Sandworm, Green Pixie, Rogue Programme, Pair of Stomping Boots (easily obtain otherwise rare turn generating spleen items, as well as unlocking new areas), Frumious Bandersnatch (increase XP and improves combat skills), Bugged Bugbear (massive XP boosts and other benefits), Tome of Sugar Shummoning, Tome of Clip Art (powerful equipment), Tome of Scratch n' Sniff Sticker Summoning (makes a sword or crossbow which can recieve powerful enchantments), and Tome of Snowcone Summoning (powerful buffs).
** Also, if you have the meat for it, you can buy various items needed for a quest at the Mall of Loathing without taking the trouble of actually doing the quest. (Unless you're in Hardcore mode, in which the mall, flea market, and your previous inventory are off-limits.)
** Some of the Items of the Month, typically the ones released on the month of a challenge path debut, carry some extra benefit for a challenge path to make them more enticing at the moment. These can range from skills and familiar [=IotMs=] producing extra items during the challenge path, to equipment [=IotMs=] being usable on the path regardless of regular restrictions.
** If you're in an Avatar of Jarlsberg run, you can buy a Cosmic Bucket, whose only function is to give you items that grant you more skill points for the path. Amusingly, the game admits that the item was for those who wanted to jump into speed runs right away, and encourages players to take it slowly instead.
** A lot of trophies cannot be easily obtained...except by buying a crapload of something in the mall. All the GottaCatchEmAll ones are like this, and several others require you to multi-use something in a quantity that would take forever to generate on your own. One requires you to ''literally'' [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Three_Amigos toss your meat down a hole.]]
* BrickJoke: As a moxie class, one of the tasks required to become a full-fledged guild member is to pickpocket Izzy the Lizard's wallet without him noticing. Later, after you do a task for him, he realizes he can't pay you in money because someone stole his wallet. Even later, he sends you on a quest to get an important item for him, which turns out to be a wallet chain.
** On January 30, 2010, players could receive for the first time an adventure titled '''From Little Acorns...''', in which you plant an acorn from the evil Underworld Tree in the Arrrboretum. Fast forward to May 6, 2010, when you can get the adventure '''... Grow Unspeakable Horrors''', which gives the [[spoiler: Underworld Bonsai Familiar]]
* {{Bridge}}: Played by the guards behind the light door.
* BuffySpeak: A common source of humour. E.g. "Bones scatter across the deck like uh, something that scatters. Mice? I'll go with mice."
* ButThouMust: When entering Felonia's cave, you have three choices:
-->Enter the chamber
-->Enter the chamber (No Other Possibility)
-->Enter the chamber (Seriously).
** Your first encounter with Dr. Awkward [[StupidityIsTheOnlyOption gets you beaten up.]] The next time you see him, you are forced to fight him, but the game lets you choose a [[FunWithPalindromes pointless palindromic]] "battle cry": "War, sir, is raw!", "Egad! No bondage!", or [[WordSaladHumor "Eva, can I stack Rod's sad-ass, dork cats in a cave?"]].
* ButtMonkey: Part of your character's job description if he or she attempted to join [[MegaCorp CRIMBCO]] ([[PropagandaMachine your beloved, effective sponsor]] for [[ChristmasEpisode Crimbo]] 2010).
* CallAHumanAMeatbag
--> '''[[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Gorgolok,_the_Infernal_Seal_(The_Nemesis%27_Lair) Gorgolok]]''': "STUPID HUMAN! I KILL YOU MYSELF! MAKE YOU SQUEAL LIKE THE STUPID MONKEY YOU ARE!"
* CallBack: To a ''long'' time ago. At one point, there was a world event where an NPC named Christobal Colon sent players "warm blankets", which improved resting - but had a good chance of infecting them with [[TheVirus The Grey Plague]], which turned them into zombies. ''Four real-world years later'', [[spoiler:the Zombie Slayer path revealed that "Colon" was Rene C. Corman.]]
* CallingYourAttacks: Parodied in a hit message in a boss fight-
-->"Wu Tang shouts 'Seven Demon!' and kicks you in the knee. 'Hey!' you say, 'you didn't finish the name of the attack!' 'It's the Seven Demon Kick You In the Knee While You're Waiting For Me To Finish the Name of the Attack," he says, and kicks you again. '
* CentipedesDilemma: Played Straight in a miss message when fighting a "Swarm of Killer Bees".
--> "They start to swarm you, but you give them a quick lesson in Aerodynamics, and they all fall to the ground."
* CerebusSyndrome: The Mime invasion was an uncharacteristically creepy event (which may still be ongoing). Shortly afterward, the new additions to the Sea Monkee quest added in March and April 2013 turned the previously lighthearted quest into a dead serious and surprisingly chilling [[spoiler:CosmicHorrorStory]]. And then the new clan dungeon showed up: Dreadsylvania, a giant pastiche of horror tropes. All this in a game originally built on obnoxious puns, satire, and non-sequiturs.
* ChainmailBikini: Lampshaded by the chainmail monokini.
-->This is the bottom half of a chain-mail bikini. It'll completely protect you from injury, and by 'you' we mean 'your crotch and 40% of your backside.' Because, really, what else matters?
* ChainOfDeals: The Going Postal quest.
* CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys: There's a "French Slippers" item; equipping it causes your runaways to be always successful.
* ChefOfIron: Saucerors and Pastamancers with their food-flinging spells and cooking skill, although they have elements of SquishyWizard too. The Avatar of Jarlsberg also counts, since you're channeling Loathing's ''original'' chef-magus.
* ChekhovsVolcano: During the Nemesis Quest, your nemesis has a secret tropical island volcano lair. The volcano plays an important role.
* ChewToy: Admiral Hagnk, proprietor of Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage, once known as Hagnk's Mostly-Burned-Down-then-Hit-By-a-Chunk-of-a-Comet-[[OverlyLongGag then-Flooded-by-the-Melting-Comet]] Ancestral Mini-Storage. It got better.
* ChezRestaurant: Chez Snootée in Little Canadia.
* ChronicPetKiller: Stephen Spookyraven.
* ClingyJealousGirl: The version of the Clingy Pirate that appears for male characters. (Females get a male version who's less jealous, more weepy and vaguely patronizing.)
** Oddly enough, using the pirate insults may get the Clingy Pirate to say "I'm not comfortable being compared to your girlfriend like that."
* ClippedWingAngel: The Naughty Sorceress
* ClockPunk: All the Clockwork items. You can get a clockwork maid, clockwork armor (and weapons), and [[Literature/AClockworkOrange Clockwork Grapefruit]] familiar. Clockwork goodies are also needed for the [=MicroMagiMech=] and NinjaPirateZombieRobot familiars.
* ClusterFBomb: 'Twas the day of Christmas and one player on the forums made the mistake of complaining about the holiday content. The devs didn't like it much. [[http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showpost.php?p=3054767&postcount=76 Behold, the Skully Rant.]], now [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Best_Game_Ever lampshaded in-game]].
** Unlike many other games, the dev team interacts with their UnpleasableFanbase with some frequency. The Crimbomination from Crimbo '08 was a last minute toss-in to address complaints about an anticlimactic ending. To sum up: if they feel the complainers have a point, they generally address it. If they feel they don't, we get... what we get in the link above.
* CombatPragmatist: Disco Bandits use enemy weakening attacks in combat, which include suckerpunches, [[EyeScream eye pokes]], face-stabs, kicking your opponent's knees in while dancing, and pretending to run away then attacking when your opponent lets down his guard.
* CombatTentacles: The "Mutant Couture" outfit has two seperate sets; the "Parasitic Tentacles" pants and the "Parasitic Strangleworm" off-hand. The pants allow you to trip an enemy, and the off-hand allows you to throttle it.
* {{Combos}}: [[DanceBattler Disco Bandits]] gain end-of-fight bonuses for using their skills in a particular order.
* CommonPlaceRare: '''Bananas''' are a limited-edition item?!? (They can be duplicated in [[MadScientistLaboratory a certain lab]], but their original source is long gone, and the map that unlocks the lab is a limited item as well.) Don't ask about beets.
** The Dead Guy's Memento item gives you a bunch of extra adventures every day, and it ''seems'' easy enough to get: just combine a very common Dead Guy's Watch with a somewhat-rare, but affordable photograph item. The catch? Instead of gluing them together the normal way, you need to use a ''special piece of tape'' which you ''might'' get from a gambling game in a high-level dungeon (and nowhere else). It's a two-layered CommonPlaceRare!
* CompanionCube: The [[VideoGame/{{Portal}} Bulky Buddy Box]] familiar, which [[CaptainObvious does nothing.]] Pet Rocks, Toothsome Rocks, and Holiday Logs are similarly inactive. The latter two's descriptions {{Lampshade}} their uselessness.
* ConservationOfNinjutsu: Used on a game-wide scale with the Ragamuffin Imp familiar. Its strength is inversely proportional to the number of people currently armed with one. If few people are using it, it's extremely powerful in combat (potentially as strong as 100 saber-toothed limes), but it gets weaker and weaker as more and more people use it.
** When it was first introduced, the power was determined by how many existed in the universe. Acquiring one required being able to solve a fiendishly difficult puzzle... until the answer became common knowledge (despite explicit instructions of "do not spoil this"), at which point everyone and their mother got one, rendering them useless (1 point of hot damage!) until the rules were changed.
* ConspiracyTheorist: The Captain of the Gourd, who tasks various adventurers to help him protect the Gourd from the Knob goblin/tin can/spider menace. His [[BattleInTheCenterOfTheMind jar of psychoses zone]] takes this up a notch.
* {{Constellations}}: The game features an area called "The Hole in the Sky". All of the monsters within are constellations that are also {{Double Entendre}}s for male or female genitalia, such as "The Burrowing Bishop," "The Trouser Snake," or "The Little Man in the Canoe".
* ContinuityLockout: It takes a ''really'' long time to get up to speed, let alone figure out how to effectively ''play'' the thing.
* ContinuityNod: [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Nearby_Plains_in_the_Distant_Past The Nearby Plains in the Distant Past]] is loaded with nods to the areas that are normally found in the Nearby Plains and the bosses found in those areas...and at least one boss ''not'' found in the Nearby Plains. [[spoiler:That schoolgirl learning magic from Fernswarthy? Yep, it's the Naughty Sorceress herself.]]
* ConvectionSchmonvection: You fight your Nemesis in the heart of a volcano. Summed up nicely:
-->Soon, the cavern branches into a smooth, almost glassy-surfaced tunnel -- obviously an ancient lava tube. It appears that you're heading directly into the heart of the volcano. On reflection, this was inevitable, really. I mean, you can't just have a FinalBoss Battle ''near'' a volcano. It would be like having a car chase in which the FruitCart doesn't get knocked over. Or [[TheyFightCrime fighting crime]] in a [[HumongousMecha giant robot]] and never using RocketPunch.
** You can even swim through the lava back to shore if you mess up in [[ThatOnePuzzle the lava maze]], but you'll take a load of damage.
* CoolSword: A running gag has the player killing skeletons to get their sweet swords
** As of 2013, you can fight a tower of skeletons that increase in strength as you go to get an exceptionally sweet sword. This is actually one of seven swords that were released with the Angry Jung Man familiar.
* TheCoronerDothProtestTooMuch: St [[PunnyName Yule "Be Sorry"]] Brenner is alleged to have committed suicide by stabbing himself repeatedly in the back and throwing himself to a pack of wild dogs.
* CorruptBureaucrat: The Council of Loathing are often suspected to be this. See the WMG section.
* CosmicHorrorStory: The last leg of the [[spoiler:Sea Monkee quest]].
* CosmeticAward:
** Trophies & tattoos, unless you care about [=PvP=] mode.
** Having a Monster Manuel in your campsite will enable a drop off certain monsters that changes your avatar to their picture, temporarily.
* CrateExpectations:
** Parodied, along with a reference to the Start-To-Crate review system, when crates appear in the first area the player visits. "You're a little nervous about encountering [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Crate a crate]] this early in the game."
** Also parodied by the Barrel Full Of Barrels, which is [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin a giant barrel full of smaller, smashable barrels]]. Some of the mini-barrels [[ExplodingBarrels explode]].
** There are [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Crate_Expectations three encounters]] named "Crate Expectations". Since the earliest of these dates from 2009, they're likely a ShoutOut to the trope.
* CreepyDoll: Equippable as an Accessory, which adds Spooky damage. Also a Spooky marionette and Killer rag doll shield. You can also get a possessed teddy bear and evil clockwork monkey as familiars.
* CriticalFailure: In this case, it's called '''[[color:red:Fumble!]]'''
** Fumbling causes you to, instead of attacking, take damage by dropping your weapon on yourself. When unarmed, fumbles can be a bit strange, ex. "You drop your forehead on your arse."
** The Clockwork Outfit (InspectorGadget's hat, pants, and trenchcoat) turns fumbles into positive effects.
* CrossPlayer: Many male players play female characters in-game, as there are a few [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Gender_Differences female-only bonuses]]. There's even a trophy for changing your ingame gender 30 times.
* CrystalPrison: The king has been [[{{Pun}} imprismed]].
* CrystalSkull: Well, glass skull, but still can scare away monsters.
* {{Cult}}: [[FlyingSpaghettiMonster Spaghetti Cultists]], encountered during the Nemesis quest if you play as a Pastamancer.
* DamageIncreasingDebuff: Deleveling an enemy will reduce their damage absorption, along with their attack power.
* DamageOverTime: Various items, pieces of equipment and statuses inflict [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Passive_Damage "passive damage"]] over time.
* DanceBattler: The Disco Bandit class.
* DayOldLegend: Repeatedly spoofed. "[[Franchise/{{Castlevania}} This legendary vampire-slaying whip has been in your family for generations.]] No, wait, I'm thinking of a different whip. This one was made out of brown pixels by a crazy guy in a shed in the woods."
** Meticulously deconstructed by, of all things, [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Trusty Trusty.]]
* DeathIsCheap: You can't die at all unless you choose to AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence after beating the game. From there, the entire point of [[WarriorHeaven Valhalla]] is to reward you for beating the game and encourage you to return to the mortal realm for a NewGamePlus. Running out of health in battle, or doing anything else you might expect to be fatal, merely ends the fight and gives you a few turns of "Beaten Up"...which doesn't prevent you from fighting, can be cured easily, and [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Majorly_Poisoned isn't even the worst negative effect in the game.]] It's become even easier since resting in your campsite was made into a cure.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: Camp Logging Camp, Potent Potion of Potency, Seal-Clubbing Club, Corrupt Club of Corrupt Corruption, Tomato Juice of Powerful Power...
** It is also possible to get hit in the same place twice like "giving you splinters in your neck, elbow, and neck."
** However, some (like the [[AmbiguouslyGay Camp]] [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus Logging Camp]] and the [[{{Magick}} Potent]] Potion [[StatusBuff of Potency]]) merely use homophones to seem redundant [[SubvertedTrope at first glance]].
** One of the "three archetypical elders who have shaped the Kingdom" is St. Sneaky Pete the Redundantly Sneaky.
** "This is a fully rewinged dewinged stab bat." In other words, a stab bat.
* DepthDeception: Specifically, before the Observatory is destroyed.
* TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything: Subverted in some places, played straight in others. The final boss is only meant to be beatable with [[spoiler:a special wand in your inventory,]] and has massive stats to make sure of this. When someone found a way to do it differently, the developers ''gave them a prize for doing so,'' the description of which said, "Well done for doing something that everyone thought was impossible, and damn you for making us have to work out how to make it not happen again!" Then, ''it happened again.'' (It's good to note at this point that the first player was [[LevelGrinding over level 100,]] And the other had [[BribingYourWayToVictory bribed his way there.]]
** Played straight when they gave an Ultra Rare item ([[LuckBasedMission which you have a 1 in]] [[NintendoHard no-one-really-knows-at-all chance of getting]]) a resulting material when you pulverize it, making you lose the original item. ''They prepared for people to destroy an Ultra Rare item.'' (The first guy to do it, incidentally, got a [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Wad_of_Crovacite unique reward]] too, and ''it'' pulverizes into itself. Yes, they prepared for that too.)
** Periodically, a holiday on the in-game calendar will fall on the day of an actual real-life holiday. When this happens, the result is usually a clever combination of the two holidays, sometimes even worked into the plot. Thanksgiving on Saint Patrick's Day becomes [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Drunksgiving Drunksgiving]], with drunk versions of Thanksgiving encounters; Halloween on Christmas resulted in the WesternAnimation/NightmareBeforeChristmas themed [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Crimboween Crimboween]], etc.
** Trying to access the server directory where the image files for trophies are stored simply returns a message:"No peeking."
** [[http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showpost.php?p=4167363&postcount=6 "Stupid complicated game."]]
* DisproportionateRetribution: Don't ask Roderic the Staffcrafter to make a Chef Staff you don't have the materials for. [[OneHitKO Just don't]].
** In the Avatar of Boris campaign, [[spoiler:Sneaky Pete orchestrated all the events of the run just so he could get back at Boris for being a bad wingman]].
* {{Dissimile}}: Mr. Skullhead loves this trope. For example.
-->[[HelloInsertNameHere (your Disembodied Hand)]] sprays him with some club soda. And by "sprays," I mean, "hits," and by "some," I mean "a," and by "soda," I mean "for X damage."
* DeepImmersionGaming: Playing any [[MiniGame Game Grid Video Game]] has the character black out and in the game for the duration. Yes, add the same level of snark to [[{{Metroid}} Meteoid]], [[{{Sinistar}} DemonStar]], [[{{VideoGame/Gauntlet}} Dungeon Fist!]], [[StarControl Space Trip]], and [[StreetFighter Fighters]] [[VideoGame/{{Tekken}} of]] [[KingOfFighters Fighting.]]
* DefeatMeansFriendship: In a [[ZombieApocalypse Zombie Slayer]] challenge path run, using Infectious Bite on an enemy during combat might result in said enemy being reanimated and added to your Horde after combat.
* DisturbedDoves: one of the possible attack messages for the haiku katana:
-->Flocks of cranes in flight
-->fleeing the scene where you caused
-->pain beyond measure.
* DismantledMacGuffin: The worm-riding manual. [[spoiler:[[FreeSamplePlotCoupon Downplayed]], since you get page 1, then page 2, then pages 3-15 all at once.]]
** And then played straight after a revamp, although you can still get multiple pages at once.
* DittoFighter: the Doppelshifter and Comma Chameleon familiars, as well as any familiar equipped with the Tiny Costume Wardrobe.
* DoNotSpoilThisEnding: the "Ragamuffin Imp" familiar, and the puzzle which reveals how to get it.
* DonutMessWithACop: Discussed in the description of the "Ur-donut" item.
-->There has never been a donut more donut than this one. Shops that sell these are where the platonic ideals of cops hang out.
* DoubleEntendre: There are dozens of these references. Also, there is the Hole in the Sky, where you can fight constellations. The astronomers of that time had very dirty minds, as all but one of the constellations (The [[ShamelessSelfPromoter Astronomer]]) are named after various names of the ''Skin Flute'' and the ''Beaver''.
** Almost everything associated with the aptly named Smut Orcs and the Orc Chasm.
* DoWellButNotPerfect: The [[{{Tamagotchi}} ChibiBuddy]] "dies" if any of its stats reach 0... but also if any of them reach 10.
* {{Dracolich}}: The Bonerdagon.
* TheDragon: Each of the villains in the nemesis quest has one of these, who will give you a map to their lair, a unique familiar, and [[VendorTrash an item with a nice resale value]] when beaten.
* DualWielding: The Seal Clubber ability "Double Fisted Skull Smashing" allows the use of two one-handed weapons at once, and the Disco Bandit ability "Ambidextrous Funkslinging" allows the use of two items at once.
* DudeNotFunny: Invoked by the "Offensive Joke" ability.
* EldritchAbomination: Several. Notably, most of the encounters with them are entirely devoid of humor. The Adorable Space Buddy familiar is a rare friendly variation.
* EldritchLocation: Wherever you fight the bonus boss [[spoiler: Dad Sea Monkee]] is this, being a a silent room with featureless white walls. Which...are blackened. In silence; full of deafening noise.
** Also, Fernswarthy's Basement. It has no bottom and some of the floors are guarded by {{Eldritch Abomination}}s.
* [[ElementNumberFive Element Number Six]] - [[spoiler:Cute. Cute is, however, [[Film/TheFifthElement The Sixth Element]]]]
* ElementalRockPaperScissors: Though with some rather unusual elements. '''[[color:red:Hot]]''', '''[[color:blue:Cold]]''', '''[[color:gray:Spooky]]''', '''[[color:green:Stench]]''' and '''[[color:blueviolet:Sleaze]]''' are the elements of [=KoL=]. Each element [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Image:Elements2.gif takes double damage from two, and deals double damage to the other two]]. If you attack a monster with its own element, or attack a ghost with non-elemental weapons, you deal negligible damage.
** Also, there are four elements which are only used in certain situations and don't fit into the cycle: Slime, Shadow, Bad Spelling, and Supercold. Slime damage, seen only in [[BonusDungeon the Slime Tube]], is mostly dealt via status effects and has its own protective gear. Bad Spelling damage is dealt by enemies modeled on Internet trolls and is countered by reading from a dictionary. Supercold damage is dealt by the Warbears in the Warbear Fortress during Crimbo 2013. And finally, Shadow damage is dealt by [[EvilCounterpart Your Shadow]] and has no way to counter it - this is to make sure that it goes straight through any gear you're wearing.
** There is also the legendary [[Film/TheFifthElement Sixth Element]], [[spoiler: Cuteness.]]
* EliteMooks: The "Hero" enemies in the Hippy/Fratboy war.
* EmoTeen: The Goth Giant enemy, who writes bad poetry and wears a fuckton of makeup. Also the Confused Goth Music Student, the Next-generation Frat Boy, the Emo Squid familiar, and the Girl in a Black Dress.
* TheElevatorFromIpanema: During the Disco Bandit's Nemesis quest.
* ElvishPresley: Elvish Sunglasses, which give you the "Rock Out" ability. Also, the Elvish effect obtained at the Mysterious Island Arena, if you complete the frat sidequest and pay close enough attention to the music.
* ElvesVsDwarves: On the Mysterious Island, as part of a quest from the Council of Loathing, you can start and end war between the smelly, nature-loving hippies and the sleazy, beer-drinking frat boys.
* EnemyMime: The Silent Ones are this and HumanoidAbomination. The encounter text notes that their faces are merely painted on and that light itself hesitates to approach them.
* EnemyScan: Monster Manuel, a Mr. Store item that permanently displays any monster's Attack, Defense, and HP once you defeat it a single time. [[StopHavingFunGuys Some players]] derided it as a waste of ten dollars due to the existence of fan-created mod Mafia... until they saw the ''hilarious'' facts Manuel spits out for '''''every''''' monster in the game, even ones that nobody's fought in years. Let's see Mafia do ''that''.
* EscortMission: Parodied and thankfully averted with [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Granny%2C_Does_Your_Dogfish_Bite%3F Grandma Seamonkey]]. She describes herself as someone useless in a fight who would easily get lost and be unable to circumvent the simplest of obstacles. [[HeroicComedicSociopath The player character determines that she should be fine making it back on her own]].
** Played straight during the Moons sidequest, where you have to cart around a creepy little girl (who takes up your off-hand slot). She freaks out if you get hit, and has a point value that declines every time you take damage; if it hits zero, she runs away and you have to start over.
* EvenEvilHasStandards: The pirates may be no-good, thieving, lying brigands, but unlike the frat boys, they would never make people wear some kind of humiliating outfit while cleaning!
** If the fight against the Dreadsylvania final boss drags on for too long, you get the message: "Count Drunkula passes out. You've done some unscrupulous things in your day, but killing a passed out drunk guy is over the line, even for you. "
* EveryoneHasStandards: Your player character will loot graves, slaughter defenseless rabbits and eat their livers, and generally will steal anything that isn't nailed down, but unless you're an Accordion Thief they wouldn't ''think'' of wielding a stolen accordion.
* EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys: Sock Monkeys, Balloon Monkeys, Rhesus Monkeys, Hobo Monkeys (complete with tiny cigar, hobo vest, a top hat, and the wallet he just stole from you), and monkeys that play cymbals, as well as the insidious Jocko Homo.
* EverythingsBetterWithPenguins: The Penguin Mafia. In fact, its leader took over Crimbo (the in-game Christmas equivalent) in 2008.
* EverythingsBetterWithPrincesses: Spunky ones wielding titanium assault [[SuperMarioBros umbrellas]], and princesses that [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial in no way resemble]] [[LawyerFriendlyCameo Princesses Toadstool and Leia]].
* [[EverythingsWorseWithBees Everything Is Worse With B(ee)s]]: Summer 2011 special challenge: Bees Hate You. Bees attack you every couple of turns, and they want to kill you. Even the ''b''s in any equipment you're wearing. Your character also has a phobia of using items or familiar with a "B" in it.
* [[EverythingTryingToKillYou Everything Trying To Beat You Up]]: There are loads of strange and unusual monsters in this game.
* EvilChef: A few of the monsters are examples of this.
* EvilPoacher: Stella the Turtle Poacher, [[EvilCounterpart nemesis]] of the Turtle Tamer.
* EvilVersusEvil: The hippy/frat boy war, for a particularly [[LaughablyEvil ineffective]] brand of "evil". There's a special reward for getting both sides killed. Then again, your contracting body isn't quite unambiguously good either.
* ExperienceBooster: The items and effects that increase your stat gain rate count as this, since your main stat determines your level.
* ExtremeOmnivore: The Player character. "Edible" food and drink items include bolts, floor wax, ice cream made with rocks, the ghost of a pickle, cocktails that have been sitting on the sea floor for years, boiling demonic soda, chum, ghoul's flesh, human brains, lich eyes, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Carob]]
* EyePoke: Disco Eye-Poke is a move in the Disco Bandit's arsenal.
* FallenHero: [[spoiler:According to his psychosis, prior to becoming an eternally drugged up and spaced out drug addict and dealer, the Suspicious Looking Guy used to be a detective who once saved a Chinatown-styled city from a demoness.]]
** Also, Stella the Turtle Poacher was once an effective and mysteriously beautiful Turtle Tamer.
* FantasyCounterpartCulture: Canadia (Canada) and South Of The Border (Mexico).
* FantasyKitchenSink: Superlatively so.
* FetchQuest: Used a ton, and spoofed frequently.
** Most notably with the Going Postal quest.
* FighterMageThief: Two classes for each, but pointedly Lampshaded by their shared guild-hall and stat dependence.
* FireBreathingDiner: The ''Chronic Indigestion'' ability, gained by eating an encorcelled burrito so spicy your insides catch fire.
* FishSlap: The [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Halibut halibut]] is a weapon (2-handed fish).
* FlatEarthAtheist: The Pretentious Artist.
--> "Oh, I see you've spent some time in [[{{Hell}} Hey Deze.]] As a cautiously seeking agnostic, I'm not sure I believe in Hey Deze, even though people go there all the time and bring back souvenirs."
* FracturedFairyTale: The grimstone mask lets you adventure as the villain of a fairy tale, such as the stepmother trying to screw up Cinderella's night at the ball or the hare trying to win the race with the tortoise.
* FunWithAcronyms: The '''S'''ub '''O'''rbital '''C'''onveyance of the '''K'''ingdom (SOCK).
** The '''F'''amiliar '''U'''nderground '''C'''ommunity of the '''K'''ingdom, which hasn't thought of an acronym.
* FunWithPalindromes: Everything about the Palindome.
* FurryFandom: Mocked mercilessly by the dev team (and thus everyone in the game world), who (at least at the point those parts of the game were written) think these guys are {{Squick}} on legs. There's even a fur-fan enemy, the Furry Giant, who dresses up like a wolf. He's a little bitch.
** Also, the fursuit armor set is a LethalJokeItem that effectively cripples its wearer, but in a [[NotCompletelyUseless very specific way]] that can be useful.
* GameBreakingBug: It's gone now, but the legendary [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Black_Sunday Meat Vortex bug]] destroyed the game's economy to the point they had to work a solution into the ''plot''.
** Incorporating major game fixes into the plot is a staple of the game - when Jick screwed up while backing up a server and basically erased a day or two worth of data, it led to massive amounts of plot involving time portals, "petrified time", and a general breakdown of temporal physics for a while.
* GardenOfEvil:
** The Naughty Sorceress' hedge maze.
** The Landscaper's Lair, temporarily available from an item sold at Uncle P's antiques, is a well-tended garden... that's tended by a demon and is full of killer lawn gnomes.
** The Red Queen's Garden, if you can find and go down the rabbit hole in the Nearby Plains.
* GenreSavvy: When fighting [[spoiler:Ed the Undying]], your character does this:
--> "[[spoiler:You step back from the sarcophagus and ready your weapon. 'All right, let's get on with it,' you say. 'I know for a fact that you're going to come to life and attack me as soon as I try to take the MacGuffin, so let's just cut to the chase.']]"
*** This is probably because the exact same thing happened earlier in that quest. Of course, you were pretty GenreSavvy the first time around. Just... less so.
** During the war between the Hippies and the Frat Boys, [[spoiler:if 'The Man' and 'The Big Wisniewski' meet, 'The Man' will exhibit this trope.]]
* GargleBlaster: With the wide range of alcoholic drinks you can consume in this game, there's a few of these, including a Pan-*Dimensional* Gargle Blaster.
* GeniusBruiser: The warbears value a cunning tactical mind even more that the sheer brute force needed to rip your opponent limb from limb. [[FourStarBadass Their leader]], as it turns out, [[AuthorityEqualsAsskicking has both traits in abundance]].
* GlassCannon: The Mysticality classes, both of which deal very high elemental damage while having very low HP and evasion. Pastamancers can get over it using spells, items and/or summoned pasta guardians to gain combat-initiative and stun their target long enough to kill it, while Saucerors can mitigate their fragility by using saucespheres to regenerate to a degree, and by using an array of crafted potions to buff themselves.
* GlobalCurrencyException: Lots of these, each with their own independent currency, where meat is not accepted. This includes Hobopolis (with hobo nickels), the Terrified Eagle Inn in Dreadsylvania (with Freddy Krueggerands) Big Brother's store on the Ocean Floor (with sand dollars), the Bounty Hunter Hunter (with filthy lucre), Mr. Store (with [[BribingYourWayToVictory Mr. Accessories]]), the Hermit (with worthless trinkets), and the Mysterious Island during wartime (with dimes and quarters for the hippy camp and frat house, respectively).
** And for Crimbo 2009 there are Crimbux! (singular: crimbuck)
*** And for Crimbo 2010 there is CRIMBCO scrip!
** Don't forget the Fat Stacks of Cash: "These are some fat stacks of cash. Too bad you can't spend cash in the Kingdom of Loathing." They could be used to bribe the penguin mafia during Crimbo 2008, but aside from then, they can only be sold for 150 meat apiece, or used in combat to give your opponent an opportunity to attack.
* AGodAmI: Before you, the player character, start stomping on the kingdom after [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Made_it%2C_Ma%21_Top_of_the_World%21 being grown huge,]] you say, "[[EvilLaugh Mwa-ha-ha!]] Who can stand against me! [[AGodAmI I am a GOD!]]" It results in you fighting ''the entire kingdom!'' (See AttackOfThe50FootWhatever, below).
--> "Then you realize that was over the top, and sure, maybe they can't hurt you, but that's no reason to be a jerk about it. Oh, well -- everyone's mad at you, now, so you're going to have to defend yourself."
* {{Golem}}: You can have a "Meat Golem" camp guard. There are lots of Golem enemies, including the nacho golem, stuffing golem, candied yam golem, fruit golem, white chocolate golem, bread golem, chowder golem, pencil golem, topiary golem, and collapsed mineshaft golem, which just goes to show that some people will make a golem out of ''anything''.
* AGoodNameForARockBand: Many, many times.
** "Naughty Periodicals" is suggested at the Daily Dungeon.
** "Perforated Virgins", if you have a Uniclops familiar and a Crown of Thrones.
** "This is a dewinged stab-bat. Have you heard my new band, the Dewinged Stab-Bats?"
*** "This is a partially rewinged dewinged stab bat. Have you heard my new band, the Partially Rewinged Dewinged Stab Bats?"
**** "This is a fully rewinged dewinged stab bat. Have you heard my new band, [[OverlyLongGag The Joke That Got Repeated Until It Wasn't Funny Anymore?]]"
** "Black Widow and the Spinnerettes" for an all-girl group, when fighting a Black Widow.
* GradualGrinder: Moxie classes, with their 'plinking' tactics - using ranged weapons to slowly wear down their opponents while, thanks to their high evasion, they almost never get hit themselves unless the monster they're fighting severely outlevels them. Melee classes can be played as gradual grinders too, although their strategy relies on high max HP and damage absorption/reduction.
* GrammarNazi: The Ghost of the English Language {{NPC}} forces players to understand the differences between "there," "their," and "they're," as well as "your" and "you're," before letting them use the game's chatrooms. Inverted if you equip the Sword Behind Inappropriate Prepositions, which makes you use random [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin inappropriate prepositions]] in chat; or the Staph of Homophones, which replaces some of your words with out-of-place homophones.
* GrandFinale: Not for the game itself, but the long-awaited conclusion to the Nemesis quest.
* GratuitousIambicPentameter: There are zones in which all encounters -- including the messages for drops and stat gains -- are written in haikus, limericks and anapestic tetrameter.
* GratuitousSpanish: There's a lot of it, probably because [[WriteWhatYouKnow the developers live in Arizona]].
* GreatBigBookOfEverything: Monster Manuel's 1,100+ snarky monster factoids have as many tropes as the rest of the game put together--though you have to fight the monsters to access their entries.
* GrievousHarmWithABody: The [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Severed_flipper severed seal flipper]] references this trope.
-->This is the severed flipper of an Infernal Seal. Scientists agree that there is nothing in the world more badass than beating something with a body part you ripped off of something. Of course, if they disagreed, we'd probably rip off their arms and beat them with 'em.
* GroinAttack: The Turtle Tamer ability "Kneebutt".
** Also, one of the many areas randomly targeted by monsters is the groin. The black pudding slaps the female player in the groin with a greasy pseudopod. The Burrowing Bishop spins his mitre and charges at you furiously, drilling you in the groin (sleaze damage)!
* GrotesqueCute: The Adorable Seal Larva familiar is a shining example.
-->'' chews its way into the corpse of your fallen opponent in a spray of blood and gristle. Soon, it bursts out of the other side of the carcass, slimes its way up your leg onto your shoulder, and vomits some form of healing bile into your ear. Awww, isn't that just the cutest thing ever?? <3 You gain X hit points. You gain X Mana points.''
* GuideDangIt: A couple [=NS13=] mechanics, particularly [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Monster_level#Monster_Level_and_Combat_Rate_Modifiers + ML/-NC]] one.
** The above mechanic was [[{{Irony}} coincidentally removed in-game ten minutes after its mention was added to this article]].
** Some [=NS11=]-era puzzles were also fairly unintuitive without trying to [[TryEverything combine every item with every other item, or throw combat item after combat item at monsters that fall to only one type of item and horribly murder you otherwise]]. The player base has always had such a high concentration of organized spaders that Jick and Skullhead would be remiss not to leave them something to puzzle out.
** Also, much of the Sorceress's Tower, particularly the Perplexing Door (which, unlike the tower monsters, gives you no hints as to how many keys you need - and you need them ''all''). There is absolutely nothing that tells you the exact combination of stars and lines needed for a Richard's star key, nor the number of pixels needed for a digital key. Oh, and the areas where stars, lines, and pixels drop are otherwise unessential; it's possible that you won't have even unlocked them by the time you get to the door.
*** One of these problems was eventually fixed; now star charts (which you use to create star items) display a menu of all items they can create and the combinations needed to make them.
** Finding all twenty hobo codes, which will require at least three ascensions and a lot of counterintuitive thinking.
** Finding all of the Way of the Surprising Fist scrolls, five of which are absolutely necessary to complete the ascension. These and the hobo codes can only be found in specific locations, and there are no hints whatsoever as to what those locations are.
** You normally get a medal for completing the Hippy/Frat war, depending on which side you fight on and how many sidequests you complete for that side. How are you supposed to know that [[spoiler:killing ''exactly'' 999 soldiers (there's no visible counter) on each side causes an epic showdown with ''both'' final bosses? Or that using a ''flare gun'' (which does nothing at any other time during the War) during this special final battle insta-kills both bosses and gets you a special medal?]] By looking it up, that's how.
** Dreadslyvania's Hardmode bosses. Each one requires you to fight the normal boss while equipped with a special item or while under a certain effect. These items and effects require several different players of different classes working through the dungeon to acquire multiple items that must then be combined to allow one player to fight the boss. One of these items took the playerbase a month to find! To say nothing of the ridiculous tricks the bosses themselves employ.
* HardModePerks: Ascending on higher difficulties gives you those.
* HeadPet: Turtle Tamers wear live turtles as helmets.
** The Crown of Thrones lets you carry any familiar on your head.
* HehHehYouSaidX: "Huh huh. Poop deck."
* HeroicComedicSociopath: The player character. Sometimes an adventure gives you a choice if you want to act like one, but this is rare.
* HighClassGlass: Monocles are associated with wealth. The Wealthy Pirate is pictured with one, and the description of Baron Von Ratsworth's monocle posits a causal relationship between owning a monocle and being wealthy: the monocle helps you find things.
* HighSchoolAU: The KOLHS challenge path is an in-universe one.
* HilariouslyAbusiveChildhood: The description for bat wing chow mein.
-->''Your mama always told you that bat wings were good for you, right? "Eat all your bat wings or I'll lock you in the closet," she'd say. Wait, no, that was my mom. Never mind.''
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: How you must defeat the final form of the final boss. [[spoiler:If you have a Wand of Nagamar, it will convert the boss's normally-deadly attacks into something harmless and/or a means of destroying your opponent.]]
* HolidayMode: Crimbo (for Christmas), which is one disaster after another. 2010 revolves around working for the megacorp that makes Crimbo so safe, it's boring.
* {{Homage}}: While the game is ReferenceOverdosed in its own right, the White Castle area has several adventures lifted straight from ''Film/HaroldAndKumarGoToWhiteCastle''.
** The Suspicious-Looking Guy's Past is basically a ''TabletopGame/{{Shadowrun}}'' story.
* HopelessBossFight: Don Crimbo, the boss of Crimbo 2009.
** The Crimbomination at the end of Crimbo 2008.
** Dr. Awkward, before obtaining the Mega Gem.
* HumongousMecha: For Crimbo 2012, players had to build one to defeat [=MechaElf=]. It's packed with all kinds of Crimbo-themed weaponry, [[{{Hammerspace}} and a sword in its chest that's bigger than the robot itself.]]
* HuntingTheMostDangerousGame: Safari Jack, Dragon to Stella the Turtle Poacher.
* HurricaneOfEuphemisms: The Hole in the Sky has 19 different monsters. 18 of them are named after euphemisms for genitalia.
* HurricaneOfPuns: A large source of the game's humor.
** One of the hit messages for "The Little Man in the Canoe" even goes as far as to ''say'' "If you know what I mean."
** Knob Goblin. Orc Chasm.
** [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Ol%27_Scratch Ol' Scratch.]] In his intro text, your character even says "I'm certainly ready to put a stop this never-ending stream of dumb heat jokes."
* IceCreamKoan: In the description of the wool hat.
-->"If an apple seed turns to wings, it will fly away like a butterfly. If a butterfly turns into an apple seed, it will just lay there on the ground."\\
[[LampshadeHanging Yeah, I don't know what it means either.]]
* IMeantToDoThat: The [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Clockwork_Apparatus Clockwork Apparatus outfit]], a set of gear which turns [[CriticalFailure fumbles]] into [[WesternAnimation/InspectorGadget Inspector Gadget]] references with beneficial effects.
* ImpossibleItemDrop: Either averted, played for RuleOfFunny (like with the [[Music/TheBeatles Swarm of Scarab Beatles]], which drops things like "Colonel Mustard's Lonely Spades Club Jacket" or "Maxwell's Silver Hammer") or parodied with deliberately bad {{Hand Wave}}s.
* ImpossiblyCoolWeapon: The ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon. It consists of four long blades, three wooden poles, six steel chains, and an assortment of spikes. You have absolutely no idea how to use it, but it looks totally badass. 3x chance of [[CriticalFailure fumble]]. 3 handed weapon.
* ImprobableAccessoryEffect: There are some items that help you in really strange ways. It would be inconvenient to list them all, but the [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Tiny_Plastic_Enchantments tiny plastic figurines]] and [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Card_sleeve Alice's Army trading cards]] are good examples of things that shouldn't really do anything actually being incredibly versatile.
* IncrediblyLameFun: The Toot Oriole remarks {{self deprecati|on}}ngly that you probably wouldn't be playing this game if you didn't enjoy watching numbers get bigger.
* [[InfinityPlusOneSword Infinity Plus One Familiar]]: The Adorable Space Buddy. He does damage, restores [=HP/MP=], and occasionally gives you massive stat bonuses. To get one, you have to complete [[BonusDungeon The Sea]] ''twelve times'', and then kill the BonusBoss [[spoiler:Dad Sea Monkee]]
* InstrumentOfMurder: The Stolen Accordion, weapon of choice of the Accordion Thief.
** Which, through a special quest, can become the Rock and Roll Legend, and then the Squeezebox of the Ages.
*** Then [[spoiler:The Trickster's Trikitixa once Somerset Lopez is defeated once and for all]].
** There are also several instruments aside from accordions, including guitars ([[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Heavy_metal_thunderrr_guitarrr one of which is called an "axe"]]), drums, flutes, a rattle, a violin, a tuba, and a sitar.
* IslandBase: Your Nemesis has a secret tropical island volcano lair, [[GenreSavvy just as predicted by your guild leader]].
* JokeItem: Most of the items from the Summon Hilarious Objects spell.
** Not to mention multiple familiars that ''don't do anything''. Or the ones that only serve to impede you.
** LethalJokeItem: Some bosses are only supposed to be killable by using highly improbable inventory items on them. This being KoL, some of the players have found alternate methods.
* JourneyToTheCenterOfTheMind: The 2013 Familiar of the year, the Angry Jung Man, allows you to bottle the psychoses of various [=NPCs=], which allows you to enter a BonusDungeon in their mind.
* [[JustAddWater Just Add Meatpaste]]: Most of the ItemCrafting variants.
** The trope is lampshaded in the description of the gnatloaf casserole:
-->This is a casserole made with gnatloaf and a box of Gnat Helper, which somehow magically appeared during the cooking process.
* {{Kawaisa}}: The Stuffed Cocoabo.
* KillAndReplace: The sentient water in Heavy Rains does this to nearly every quest-relevant boss, though it doesn't work on Ed the Undying.
* KingOfTheHomeless: Hodgman the Hoboverlord.
* {{Kneecapping}}: This is the general modus operandi of the [[EverythingsBetterWithPenguins Penguin Mafia]].
* KonamiCode: [[spoiler:One of the passwords you'll need to reach the Naughty Sorceress.]]
* LampshadeHanging: On a variety of MMORPG tropes and cliches with great frequency. In other words, nearly ''everything.''
** For example, the adventure "Congratulations, You Found an Important Thing".
* LampshadedDoubleEntendre: The description for the item "Thick Caulk" notes that "The L is not silent but it is snickering behind it's back."
* [[LethalJokeItem Lethal Joke Familiar]]: The Homemade Robot familiar. It does absolutely nothing but drive around in circles and give cute messages during combat. It can though be upgraded to permanently be 100 pounds with piles of useless of robot parts and is affected by normal +Familiar Weight modifiers. The lethality comes when combined with the tiny costume wardrobe,allowing it to become a 100 lb. version of a random familiar every combat. [[http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showthread.php?t=205797 With the right familiar weight buffs,]] this translates to 270% items drops, +10 substats per fight, and 536 damage per combat round.
* LegendaryWeapon: The game parodies legendary weapons at every turn.
** There's a chain of quests where the player gets a series of legendary weapons. First, the player has to [[DayOldLegend create the "Epic Weapon" for their class]]. Following that, they obtain more ingredients and upgrade it to the "Legendary Epic Weapon". Following that, the weapon gets transformed into the "Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon" during their final showdown against their nemesis.
** {{Deconstructed|Trope}} with Trusty, Boris' trusty axe which the player is forced to use when playing as the Avatar of Boris.
-->''Not every magical weapon is forged of meteorite iron under an unusual planetary conjunction, inscribed with gilded runes of ancient power, and imbued with supernatural strength and sharpness through mystical rites and sorcerous incantations. In truth, many of the most powerful weapons of lore are possessed of far humbler beginnings -- common metal, torn from an enemy's grasp in a dire emergency. If the warrior survives the day, the weapon will likely be kept. Polished, sharpened, and re-sharpened, it will be carried from battle to battle, becoming as much a part of the man as his own arm, and as his name rises from warrior to hero to legend, so too will an aura of reverence and awe begin to surround the blade. Legend and belief are powerful forces, and it should be no surprise that a powerful artifact might have become powerful simply by dint of everyone believing it to be powerful. That is, after all, where the gods came from. ''
* LemonyNarrator: Players have uncovered evidence that the entire game is actually narrated by [[MonsterCompendium Monster Manuel.]] Regardless, he is very much this trope.
-->"You know, amigo, the average adventurer weighs in at about 150 pounds, okay? So maybe do a few push-ups between fights. Anyway, here's something you ought to know about your last opponent..."
* LevelDrain: Can be done to monsters, too. Also can be reversed; many advanced players will gleefully ''raise'' enemy levels to boost the gained ExperiencePoints.
* LevelScaling: Some monsters have stats that scale to match yours to allow everyone to participate in [[HolidayMode holiday event dungeons]].
* LivingShadow: One of the bosses that you must face in the Big Bad's lair is your shadow.
* LoadBearingBoss:
** The three possible outcomes of the Level 12 Quest each end with either one or both of the bases being blown up after defeating the boss(es). The game does justify the explosion, though.
** The boss fight of the procedurally-generated [=GameInformPowerDailyPro=] Dungeon always ends with the line: crashes to the ground with a howl. "I shall have my revenge!/I will return!", he screams, and the ground begins to shake under you. The stones of the villain's lair crack and collapse as you run, and you leap from the structure just in time to avoid being buried in the wreckage alongside .
* LoadBearingHero: Parodied in one of the possible outcomes of exploring Noob Cave: a falling boulder blocks the exit, and, as there is nobody else there to help you, you must hold up the boulder blocking the exit while you crawl to safety between your own legs.
* "LongStoryShort, you have a [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Return_of_the_Dishwasher magical evening]]. ShortStoryLong? [[TakeThat Anything]] by [[Creator/CharlesDickens Dickens]]."
* LordBritishPostulate:
** The Naughty Sorceress' third form will - usually! - destroy the player if they don't have the right item. One player decided this wasn't the case. See the "BeeBeeGun" entry above, too.
** The six monsters in her Tower have obscene stats and are ''meant'' to be killed with a LogicalWeakness (for [[WorldOfPun a given value of logical]]) combat item. The inevitable power creep over the game's eleven-year life has resulted in it being relatively simple to kill them with brute force and a ''lot'' of stunning. Unlike the Naughty Sorceress, the devs are just letting this one go without as much as an ObviousRulePatch. In fact, one challenge path has [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Dumb_mud an exclusive item]] that is an insta-kill ''just'' against tower monsters.
* LostForever: A good portion of the content is now only available in the Mall for millions of meat at a time, and more is completely lost.
** One that causes many people incalculable regret: the Hand Turkey Outline familiar. When the [[GameBreakingBug meat vortex bug]] hit, one player bought out all of the ones available in the mall and distributed them to her friends. Familiars can't be "unhatched". Only a tiny number of Hand Turkey Outlines exist in Display Cases now. (Said player was among the first banned when Jick started the clean-up.)
* LuckyRabbitsFoot: The Lucky Rabbit's Foot increases item drop and money drops by 7%.
* {{Macrogame}}: When you complete a run and ascend, you can mark skills as permanent, unlocking them for use on each subsequent run. Additionally, some aspects, like the demon summoning names, will always stay the same regardless of playthrough.
* MagicAntidote: The [[ConfusingMultipleNegatives anti-anti-antidote]].
* {{Magick}}: Parodied with the "boock of darck magicks".
* MagicMusic: Accordion Thieves can learn a variety of songs as buffs for stats, item gains, etc., for other players or themselves.
* MagikarpPower: Your basic equipment, that is, the weapon you start with, is useless after about level two. However, it is needed to make your class' Legendary Epic Weapon.
** The maiden wig, the chef's hat, and the beer goggles are low-level equipment which aren't very powerful, especially since the GogglesDoNothing. But, they are needed to make the Clockwork Maid, the Chef-in-the-Box, and the Bartender-in-the box, which give you 8 more adventures per day, allow you to cook fancy ingredients without using an adventure, and allow you to mix fancy cocktails without using an adventure, respectively. For those who don't play, these are must-haves for any obsessive gamer. You can also sell them for quite a lot of meat.
** The goggles are also used in constructing [[FirstPersonSnapshooter 4-d cameras]], which become increasingly valuable as you gain access to rarer and more powerful subjects of photography.
* {{Magitek}}: The El Vibrato relics, which are described as ancient, inscrutable [[ClarkesThirdLaw magic/technology]]. In addition, the Mechs in the Penultimate Fantasy Airship, and related items.
** The aforementioned airship Mechs are properly called [=MagiMechTech=] [=MechaMech=], so the reference becomes even more obvious.
** And the Magilaser Blastercannon.
* TheMan: It turns out you can fight him, after all.
* ManaShield: Warbear energy bracers can be used so monster attacks reduce your MP instead of HP.
* MarshmallowDream: Referenced in the descriptions of the [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Comfy_pillow comfy pillow]] and [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Giant_marshmallow giant marshmallow]].
* MasochistsMeal: A lot of food and drink items really push the definition of "edible." The shopkeeper in the Huggler Colosseum "snack" bar even warns you that his wares (sausages full of *nails* and "used beer") are dangerous![[note]]They don't actually harm you on consumption, but some other items (e.g. pointy mushrooms) do.[[/note]]
* MassMonsterSlaughterSidequest: The Bounty Hunter Hunter exists to give out quests of this type.
* MasterOfDisguise: Rene C. Corman, who initially appears as "Bigg" and [[TimeyWimeyBall earlier]] appears as [[spoiler:Cristobol Colon.]]
* MeaningfulName: There are the chef-in-a-box and bartender-in-a-box, which remove the adventure cost of cooking and making booze. There is no smith-in-a-box, though. The gnoll smith, [[PunnyName Innabox,]] works as the item would.
* MedicineShow: Doc Galaktik in Seaside Town runs one of these.
* MediumAwareness: When Lady Spookyraven gives you your final quest reward, she tells you that she hopes it's "a useful and balanced reward for a quest of this level".
* {{Metaphorgotten}}: "[[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Hellseal_pup This young seal]] is nearly ready to leave the brood-nest to be a big shark in its own pond instead of a... piranha... in a small... All right, [[LampshadeHanging that metaphor went off the rails pretty fast]]." Probably not the only example out there.
* MidBattleTeaBreak: The War Frat 500th Infantrygentleman's fumble message has him drink a martini rather than attack you, because it just so happens to be Cocktail Hour.
* MightyLumberjack: In Little Canadia, the player can encounter lumberjacks, lumberjills, and lumberjuans. The lumberjack supervisor carries ''[[OneHandedZweihander two]]'' double-sides axes.
* TheMissingno: Parodies this with the Bugged Bugbear monster, and later its friendlier variant, the Baby Bugged Bugbear familiar. Neither is ''actually'' glitched, but their images have chunks of them replaced with ones and zeroes, they drop inexplicable and bizarre items, and they spit out realistic-looking MySQL error messages with almost everything they do.
* MoneySpider: Toyed with (and mostly justified) by using meat as currency. On the opposite end, diamonds and the such are regarded as worthless due to their lack of practical use and the large number of them.
* TheMonolith: One can be found in the Spooky Forest.
* MonsterClown: Several types appear in The "Fun" House. In fact, by collecting the items they drop the players themselves can dress as one. (Doing so gives them a decent bonus to spooky damage.)
* MookBouncer: As a ShoutOut to ''[=NetHack=]''.
* MookChivalry: Soldiers in the Hippy/Frat war line up to fight you one at a time. After you kill a soldier, a set number (increased by doing sidequests) of other soldiers line up to be slaughtered by your allies. The enemy team's boss is not accessible until you kill all the other enemy mooks [[spoiler:(or all but one of the mooks on each side)]], and your allies will not help you fight him.
* MoonLogicPuzzle:
** During the final quest, you will encounter six monsters (out of 24 possibilities) that each require a certain item to beat it. While most of the items make sense, the Giant Desktop Globe must be beaten by [[spoiler:an NG]]. The reasoning behind this comes from a ''Music/TheyMightBeGiants'' song ([[spoiler: "Ana Ng", from the album ''Lincoln'': "Make a hole with a gun, perpendicular/To the name of this town on a desktop globe"]]), a band mentioned in the game many times, but only in relatively subtle references. Fortunately, each time you lose to the monster, the game will give you another hint, and on your fifth loss, it will tell you exactly what item to use, and where to find it.
** There's also an [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Dwarven_Factory_Complex_Puzzle optional puzzle]] involving translating dwarven runes, mining for ore and coal, gambling with the miners to deduce the values of the dwarven digit runes, ''converting the digits from [[Literature/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs base seven]] to base ten'', putting the right amount of the right materials into the right hoppers, and setting the value of four console dials. The game gives you everything you need to deduce the solution to the puzzle, but the process is ''incredibly'' difficult. And you have to do it ''three times'' to get the Dwarvish War Uniform. Across three ascensions, since one of the items required is a one-time drop. And the translation for the runes is randomized for each ascension, so you'll have to go through the entire process, including figuring out what each rune means, every time.
* MoreTeethThanTheOsmondFamily: The toothy sklelton [sic] has three rows of teeth, somehow.
* MundaneMadeAwesome: The delivery service quest Olaf the janitor gives you. What's this "item of great power" he needed you to obtain for him? [[spoiler: Steel wool.]]
--> "Thank you, my friend, you have done me a great service this day. In the annals of history, your deeds shall not be forgotten."
** The player classes are this incarnate. Pastamancers and Saucerors are [[ChefofIron Chefs of Iron]] combined with wizardry, Seal Clubbers take animal cruelty to heroic levels, turtle tamers are TheBeastmaster for the most mundane creature around, Disco Bandits are [[DanceBattler Dance Battlers]] who can mix up a mean GargleBlaster, and Accordion Thieves play polka music so well it inspires and buffs players.
* MusicalAssassin: Most ranged weapons are musical instruments, allowing your character to be a MusicalAssassin.
** Accordion Thieves live off of this trope; most of their skills are buffs in the form of songs.
* NaughtyBirdwatching: The telescope, obtained in Fernswarthy's Basement, can be used to either look at the stars for a stat boost or look at the [[BigBad Naughty Sorceress's]] tower to see what monsters it has.
** In addition, before the Observatory's destruction, players could use it to look into the Sorceress's chamber itself. She would then retaliate with a magical flash of light, causing temporary blindness, and a nearby astronomer would express disapproval of "base voyeurism" [[HypocriticalHumor while adjusting his polarized sunglasses]].
* NerfArm: About half of the weapons available are silly yet effective. Especially the ranged weapons. For instance, the most powerful ranged weapons are a vinyl record, a bag of snowballs, and a bag of candy. Heck, even the only two semi-serious max power ranged weapons are pretty silly, one being a rusty speargun found on the bottom of the sea and the other being a bazooka from a fish. In addition, musical instruments both strange and unusual are common ranged weapons. For example, there's the ''little plastic guitar'', which is described as having "[[GuitarHero five buttons instead of strings and a little switch you click back and forth instead of strumming]]. It's perfect for those who want to spend hours practicing a musical instrument, without that pesky "able to play music" part at the end." In addition, a fair amount of ''regular'' weapons are silly too. For example, among the most powerful weapons are a fish stick, a spade from an octopus, and a duct tape sword.
* NewGamePlus: "Ascension" allows one to beat the game and start over as a new class; with access to previous skills and items depending on which SelfImposedChallenge you take. There are special rewards for completing higher difficulties.
* NinjaPirateZombieRobot: The TropeNamer. Yes, there actually ''is'' a robotic zombie that is also a pirate and a ninja. It lives on ricerumbrainsoil. It was created because the NinjaPirateZombieRobot clan was awesome.
** And it makes toast! From its groin!
*** [[TooMuchInformation We did not need to know that.]]
* NintendoHard: A common criticism leveled at the 2013 Christmas content. To get the good limited-time items it was necessary to fight monsters that scaled to your level while under a massive debuff, and it essentially wasn't doable for players who didn't have access to a lot of Mr. Store content or millions of meat to blow on items.
* NoEndorHolocaust: Averted, actually when Corman invaded Valhalla. The players managed to destroy his Bone Star, but all of the debris destroyed Valhalla. Fortunately, time passes differently there, so it was instantly rebuilt better than ever.
** Played straight in a sidequest that turns you into a [[AttackOfThe50FootWhatever Kingdom-sized behemoth]] and lets you stomp around on everything. No matter what you do, you cannot cause any permanent damage.
* NoodleIncident: From the adventure "The Paper Chase":
--> You've learned to trust your adventurer senses, except when it comes to real-estate investing.
--> It's kind of a long story, and the less said, the better.
** While eating a desiccated apricot:
--> You chew through the apricot, and it's no easy task. It's like that time you had to chew your way out of those leather restraints. Oh, wait. You probably don't want to talk about that. Never mind.
** The reaction of a minor spaghetti cultist when you summon a Level 3 [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Spaghetti_Elemental_(pasta_guardian) Spaghetti Elemental]]:
--> At the sight of the spaghetti elemental, the cultist begins to quake with fear, his eyes widening to the size of hard-boiled eggs. He collapses to his knees, sobbing in fear. "My lord! Forgive me!" he wails. "I didn't know what I was doing! I thought it was a toilet! I swear!"
* NonAppearingTitle: Referenced by the kingdom's best screaming-crying band, ''Radioactive Child'', and their hit single, '''If You Want to Tell People the Truth, Make Them Laugh, Otherwise They'll Kill You (Royale With Cheese)''. "To show they're clever and hip, screaming-crying bands use famous quotes and pop culture references for their song titles, and make sure that the title never has anything to do with the song."
* NonHumanUndead: The [[{{Dracolich}} Bonerdagon]].
** Also the numerous skeletal pets in the Haunted Pet Cemetery.
* NonLethalKO: Getting defeated only ever results in a temporary stat debuff and ended adventure; even when [[spoiler: Lumpy, the Demonic Sauceblob's OneHitKill move]] explicitly kills you in the attack's flavor text.
* NowWhereWasIGoingAgain: Your "Quest Log", which actually is an enchanted log in your camp site. As in a wooden log. Sawn from a tree.
* TheNudifier: The Depantsing Bomb.
* ObsessionSong: You summon and use these as combat items. (Or as a regular buffing item to increase your item drops.)
* ObviousRulePatch: Several have been applied over the years.
** The Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot familiar has a chance of giving out meat during each round of combat. Since this made it advantageous to drag out combat to as close to 30 turns as possible without going over, the NPZR was changed so that it only gives Meat in the first 10 turns of combat.
** Harold's Bell is an item that banishes a monster, so you don't encounter it, for a few turns. When used in the Boss Bat's lair against the Boss Bat, this allowed for a few more turns to fight the only other enemy, which [[PinataEnemy dropped a lot of Meat for the relative level]]. In 2010, this was quietly changed so that the Boss Bat is immune to the bell's effects, putting the lid on this strategy.
** With the introduction of back items, some existing accessories were changed to fit the classification. However, this included normally low-level accessories, like the Vampire Cape and the Cape of the Goblin King, and the developers self-imposed a minimum stat limit for back items, which resulted in those items being unusable until much later in the game. They were changed into the Vampire Collar and Codpiece of the Goblin King, respectively, so they could keep their accessory and equippable-at-low-level status.
** The moister oyster is a monster that is guaranteed to drop an item worth 12000 Meat. With certain items and familiars, it's possible to battle it up to ten times each day, resulting in massive profits. Naturally, the oyster was eventually made immune to those items.
* OddJobGods: One of the elemental spirits in the McGuffin Quest is "Squirtlcthulli, god of water and doorknobs".
* OmnicidalNeutral: The best reward for the Mysterious Island Quest is the Order of the Silver Wossname, obtained by destroying both the Hippy Army and the Frat Boy army at once.
** You can resolve the turf war between the Roller Skates and Ice Skates, ([[DontExplainTheJoke two factions of fish obsessed with sporting activities]]), by helping the Skate Board drive both gangs off.
* OneWingedAngel: But of course. There's one AffectionateParody version - the Naughty Sorceress - and one straight version - the Nemesis. [[spoiler:The way they achieve it is different too: the Sorceress says the old "behold my true form" line while the Nemesis calls on the Demon Lord of Revenge]].
** There's also an inversion - [[spoiler:you fight Ed the Undying seven times in a row, but he gets weaker with each adventure.]]
* OhWaitThisIsMyGroceryList: Fernswarthy the Wizard's letter.
* OneHundredAndEight: The [[Franchise/FinalFantasy PenultimateFantasy]] [[TreasureChest chest]] has a base value of 108 meat.
* OnlyTheWorthyMayPass: Chat channels are only accessible after passing a test given by the Ghost of the English Language. One of the prerequisites needed is an understanding of the proper usage of there/their/they're.
* OurMermaidsAreDifferent: The "Mer-kin", encountered on the ocean floor in the course of the high-level Sea Monkee quest, which turn out to be involved in some [[CosmicHorrorStory very creepy]] business.
* OurWerebeastsAreDifferent: The Weretaco "is an ordinary man, who, when the moon is full, turns into a half-man, half-taco monstrosity. Incidentally, for you detail-oriented people out there -- the weretaco's lycanthropic cycle is not tied to Ronald or Grimace, but to some completely unrelated moon in some completely unrelated alternate dimension. That's why you never see him turn into a human. Seriously."
** The weremoose functions on aboot the same lines, eh?
** There's also the ultra rare Talisman of Baio, which drops from the "Baiowolf", a {{werewolf}} version of Scott Baio, and increases your stats depending on the phases of the moons.
** And the Wereturtle familiar.
*** Although the wereturtle is "probably just a turtle".
** And the ability to use "Blood of the Wereseal" on yourself to gain "Temporary Lycanthropy", a stat boost based on the lunar phase.
* OverlyLongName / OverlyLongGag: Hangk's Ancestral Mini-Storage was ravaged by fire, hit by a comet, and flooded. Each disaster lengthened its name; after the third one, it was temporarily called "Hangk's [[OnlyMostlyDead Mostly-Burned-Down]]-then-[[ColonyDrop Hit-by-a-Chunk-of-a-Comet]]-then-[[UpToEleven Flooded-by-the-Melting-Comet]] Ancestral Mini-Storage."
* PaintingTheMedium: This is a game that is mostly text with simple images for flavor. If you get a red snowcone, the picture is the exactly the same as a blue snowcone, with no color. But in the "Haiku Dungeon" or "Limerick Dungeon", all of the text there follows those poetry conventions.
** There's also a haiku katana, which can give you an effect that makes your fights everywhere take haiku form.
** If you're a fan of DrSeuss, there's a pair of familiars (the Blavious Kloop and the Bloovian Groose) that produce anapest-based messages with their effects. The Kloop also drops an item that gives you access to a zone (The Suburbs of Dis) where all the combat messages are in anapestic quadrameter, and the Groose drops a consumable that temporarily gives you anapestic combat text in all zones.
* ParallelPornTitles: Discussed in one of the Store of Loathing calendar descriptions.
-->Words can't do the picture justice -- let's just say that tentacles and winter festivity haven't gone this well together since ''It's a Hentai Christmas, Charlie Brown!''
* ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish: Used in the Quest for the Holy MacGuffin.
* PerplexingPlurals: The game tends to have a lot of fun with plurals, with "box" becoming "boxen", "kiwi" becoming "kiwus", "fruit basket" becoming "Manga/FruitsBasket", "sandwich of the gods" becoming "sandwiches of the [[{{Pluralses}} godses]]" and "liar's pants" becoming [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings "liar's pantses, precious"]]. There are some items that can only have their plurals obtained by examining the games code's. The plural of "Staff of Ed" is "Staves of Ed, you dirty exploiter you".
* PhotoprotoneutronTorpedo: The [=MagiMechTech MechaMechs=] shoot the TropeNamer.
* ThePigPen: If you wash a hippie off, one gets dirty again in a few minutes.
* PinataEnemy:
** Beefy Bodyguard Bats. They don't appear anymore once you have slain the Boss Bat, though. Players used to "banish" the Boss Bat temporarily so they could fight more Bodyguards, [[{{Nerf}} until an update made banishing the Boss impossible]].
** The rotund ducks at [=McMillicancuddy=]'s Farm. They're not too tough as enemies, but you can only fight a limited amount of ducks per day, and there are other types of ducks you might encounter instead.
** Every enemy in the Castle in the Clouds, making it easily the most popular place to farm for Meat.
** Certain pygmies in the remodeled Hidden City.
* PinealWeirdness: Zombie pineal glands, required to make a NinjaPirateZombieRobot.
* PistolWhipping: The Burly Sidekick will attack by punching you with his gunhand, though he is never out of ammo (like Barrett from ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII'', whom he's based on, does in his [[OneHitKill Hammerblow]] LimitBreak).
* PlayerArchetypes: The heart/club/diamond/spade types are referenced by the heart, club, diamond, and spade necklace items from the Mr. Klaw machine, as well as the [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Private_Pepper%27s_Lonely_Hearts_Club_Jacket four]] [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Corporal_Fennel%27s_Lonely_Clubs_Club_Jacket types]] [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/General_Sage%27s_Lonely_Diamonds_Club_Jacket of]] [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Colonel_Mustard%27s_Lonely_Spades_Club_Jacket jackets]] that can be dropped by a swarm of scarab beatles.
* PlayEveryDay: At the beginning of each day, numerous counters are reset, enabling you to eat and drink more, to conjure more items, and to redo certain lucrative activities such as bounty-hunting. If you don't play every day, you lose the ability to take full advantage of this -- and if you skip more than a few days at a time, your adventure count begins to overflow.
* {{Podcast}}: [[http://radio.kingdomofloathing.com The twice-weekly developer radio show]] is technically not one of these, but Jick doesn't always remember that.
* PoisonChaliceSwitcheroo:
** The strange Leaflet Quest has [[Literature/EndersGame a giant who offers you two shot-glasses, telling you one contains poison and if you drink the safe one, he'll take you to fairyland]]. [[spoiler:Both glasses are poisoned, but you can TakeAThirdOption using the CLEESH spell you found earlier in the quest.]]
** The Quest for the Holy MacGuffin has a section where a crimelord keeps tricking you into drinking poisoned champagne, then forcing you to find a MacGuffin for him in exchange for the antidote. At one point you insist on switching glasses with him, only to learn that [[GenreSavvy he anticipated this and poisoned his own glass]], and another time you insist on drinking from your hip-flask instead... turns out he paid one of the waiters to pickpocket you and give you a poisoned hip-flask. You finally settle things by [[spoiler:kicking the table over and beating him into a pulp]].
* PottyEmergency: The effect "Your #1 Problem", which, like other effects that involve [[PottyDance dancing]], increases item drop rates. It's obtained from a single bad moon adventure that naturally {{Lampshade|Hanging}}s the [[NobodyPoops previous absence of such a problem]]:
-->You battle your way through the Haunted Bathroom until you find yourself right in front of the toilet, staring into the murky depths of the bowl. As you stare, you find a strange feeling welling up inside of you, ready to come gushing forth: you suddenly realize that you haven't emptied your bladder recently. Or, actually, ever.
* PottyFailure: Using a "glass of warm water" on someone produces the chat message " has an accident." (in yellow text), and gives the target a (fortunately harmless) effect called "[[StealthPun you're in trouble]]".
* PoweredArmor: Clockwork Armor and El Vibrato armor.
* PowerAtAPrice: Any reward or event associated with Bad Moon tends to buff you in one way while weakening you in another. However, all of the Bad Moon abilities combined, due to each one ability moderately buffing a stat that is slightly debuffed by another, turn this into an (albeit slighter) increase everywhere.
* PowerCreep: Newer items are, on the whole, much more powerful than their counterparts of yesteryear. In the case of ultra-rares, this has sometimes been addressed by retroactively beefing the older items up.
* ThePowerOfRock: The Rock and Roll Legend, the epic weapon of the Accordion Thieves. Also, the heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr, that's awesome enough to actually ''[[Music/BryanAdams make your fingers bleed]]'' if you play without a pick.
* PrepositionsAreNotToEndSentencesWith: Even when [[RuleOfFunny a sentence doesn't end with one]].
* ProfessionalWrestling: There's a professional wrestling league called Kingdom Wrestling Entertainment. As this ''is'' the Kingdom of Loathing, the contestants are all knockoffs, homages, and parodies of various characters from Soul Calibur, Street Fighter, Tekken, Super Smash Brothers, and Mortal Kombat, as well as various TV shows and other media. Ever wanted to read about a faceoff between a parody of Princess Peach and [[Film/TheMatrix Trinity]]? Here's your chance.
* ProgrammingGame: Combat macros let you do this instead of manually pressing a single button per action every round. It's meant for convenience's sake (instead of clicking "attack with weapon" every round until it dies, you can click "attack with weapon every round until it dies"), but the temptation to write a single uber-macro that can handle every scenario in the game is ever-present.
* PungeonMaster: Oh, Mr. Skullhead. You and your wordplay.
--> "If you were the female element of a pair of star-crossed lovers, you could give this star crossbow to your star-crossed beau!"
* PurelyAestheticGender: With [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Gender_Differences very few exceptions]], gender is an aesthetic choice each ascension.
* PuzzleBoss: A number of examples, including the monsters in the tower of the Naughty Sorceress, the Guy Made of Bees in Spookyraven Manor, Frosty and Uncle Hobo in Hobopolis, Mother Slime in the Slime Tube, the Sea bosses, and several bosses in Dreadsylvania.
* RandomDrop: Item drop rate boosters are the most important buffs and enchantments in the game, because without them everything takes much, much longer.
** RareRandomDrop: The [[{{Literature/Dune}} Spice Melange]]--which drops only 0.1% of the time from a monster that consumes an expensive item each time you fight one--is probably the most ridiculous example, but 1%-or-less drops are plentiful.
* RealLifeWritesThePlot:
** The "Time Arc", which is the in-game explanation for loss of content due to a database goof; before that, the introduction of the Penguin Mafia as one of the many ways to remove "bugmeat" - excess meat generated by [[GameBreakingBug a bug in the system]] - from the economy.
** In June 2011, spiders invaded the servers, causing them to go down. After everything was transferred over to new hardware, a pile of old servers appeared in game, occasionally dropping corrupted data and egg sacs that hatched into spiders when defeated.
** One of the bosses in Dreadsylvania, the Zombie Homeowners' Association, was inspired by Jick's dealings with his own local homeowners' association.
* RecurringBoss: Rene C. Corman is a recurring threat to the Kingdom.
* RecursiveReality: One mini-dungeon has you shrinking down and battling scabies (skin mites) on ''your own leg''.
* ReferenceOverdosed: The game probably contains over a thousand {{Shout Out}}s, of varying degrees of obscurity and subtlety. [[http://pop.bewarethefgc.com There's even a site dedicated to them.]]
** [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Tome_of_Tropes And now they have a reference to us!]]
* RestingRecovery: Resting at your campsite restores some HP and MP, depending on the tent or house you have installed. The abilities Hibernate and Spirit Vacation also let you expend time to recover your HP, and give you a buff as well.
* RetiredBadass: Quite a few, given the nature of the Kingdom, but the most surprising is the Suspicious-Looking Guy. Apparently, before he started dealing goofballs, he was a Shadowrunner.
* ReviveKillsZombie: Using cure items [[spoiler:is the only way to beat your shadow at the end of the game]].
* RockMeAsmodeus: Playing heavy metal in the chamber of The Dark Lord is necessary for getting a Pagoda.
** Referenced in a fight message with the Naughty Sorceress, where she tries to [[WaxingLyrical rock you on the dais.]]
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: Done deliberately with the Misspelled Cemetary and the Defiled Cyrpt, culminating in a battle with the skeletal, draconic Bonerdagon.
** There's a bit of fourth wall breaking here too, as players often refer to the Cyrpt boss as the Bonerdragon, adding in a second r.
* RunningGag:
** Jick's apparent obsession with the number 11. It's ridiculous. It's not even funny.
** The innumerable ''Music/TheyMightBeGiants'' references, leading to players often calling the devs "the powers that might be giants." And the frequent occurrences of "because hey, free [noun]," all of which reference the same obscure joke from "Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey".
** Various items have names which are metered in catalectic trochaic tetrameter ('''au'''to'''mat'''ic '''cat'''a'''pult''', for example), accompanied by a LampshadeHanging which notes that it can be sung to a particular tune. "Camptown Races" is alluded to by no fewer than ten items, and "London Bridge" and "In the Hall of the Mountain King" get a mention too.
** Numerous descriptions make the "mistake" of ending a sentence with a preposition (which is, in fact, perfectly acceptable), and then correct it with varying degrees of clumsiness.
** Any cake item in the game will have [[WaxingLyrical a reference to the lyrics]] of a song by Cake in the description, the consume message, or both.
** There are several items and events in the game that refer to the library. You know, the one across the street from the Sleazy Back Alley.
* SadistTeacher: [[spoiler:In the KOLHS path, Principal Mooney replaces the Naughty Sorceress and fights you for making him look like a fool, what with the combat encounters involving not learning.]]
* [[SavingChristmas Saving Crimbo]]: Since 2005, Crimbo has been one disaster after another, and the HolidayMode content invariably revolves around getting Uncle Crimbo out of the hole he's dug for himself. Mixing Hallow'een and Crimbo resulted in horrible misfit toys that are so scary they are used as weapons, a space-ship crashing into Crimbo Town resulted in the kingdom's near-subjugation by relentless [[Franchise/StarTrek Borg]] [[CaptainErsatz look-alikes]], and attempting to make a Grimacite-powered toy factory resulted in stomach-turning mutant elves running amok (along with Mob Penguins looking to collect the money Uncle Crimbo borrowed from them). And that was just the years 2006-2008...
* SchizoTech: Everywhere, but particularly the ranged weapons, which include everything from boomerangs to laser cannons to pistols.
** To [[MusicalAssassin guitars]] to sacks of snowballs to ''[[RuleOfFunny beer bongs]]''...
* SchrodingersGun: You can find a treasure chest in [[Film/AliceInWonderland The Red Queen's Garden]], but before opening it, you have to solve a chess puzzle. Solving the puzzle more completely causes the chest to have had a better prize placed in it.
* ScriptedBattle: The last form of the Naughty Sorceress.
* SelfDeprecation: "...then it starts to get all up its own ass with self-referential fourth-wall-breaking, so you know you have to end it."
** The [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Best_Game_Ever Best Game Ever]] enemy in general. Its attack and critical hit messages reference the infamous NS13 update,Mr. Skullhead's rant during Crimbo 2008 (see the ClusterFBomb example above), and [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/White_Wednesday White Wednesday]],where Jick accidentally deletes KoL's most recent database.
** Also, the description for the [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Huge_gold_coin huge gold coin]]:
-->''A gold coin the size of your face is probably the most impractical form of currency you've ever encountered.''
-->''Oh, wait -- meat. Right.''
* SelfImposedChallenge: Hardcore, Bad Moon, and the dietary "paths". All optional, and make things harder, but offer special rewards (and extra content in Bad Moon's case) if you follow them through to the end.
** One of the hardest is "Kittycore", a Bad Moon run only using the black cat familiar, a familiar which actively hinders you instead of helping you. Except for a few non-combat adventures which require you to use another familiar, you are not allowed to use ANY familiar other than the black cat, which does such things as preventing you from picking up items after a battle, preventing you from using combat items or skills, and reducing the experience you gain from winning a fight. Beginning any fight without the black cat even ONCE before stepping through the gash at the end of the game and ascending will void the "Kittycore" run. Completing this run will [[spoiler:permanently unlock Bad Moon]].
** Special challenge paths were introduced in the summer of 2011, with new ones coming out every three months (although some of them are actually ''easier'' than regular). They are as follows--
*** Bees Hate You: The letter "b" is now your enemy. You take damage for every B in the names of your equipment, enemies become stronger for each B in their names, you can't use non-quest items with B in their names (and the quest ones hurt you), and bees randomly attack you.
*** Way of the Surprising Fist: You become a BareFistedMonk. You can learn impressive skills, but you can't equip weapons or off-hand items at all, and you have a vow of poverty which slashes how much Meat you earn and cuts off non-combat Meat gains.
*** Trendy: Any limited-time content that's more than a year old is unusable.
*** Avatar of Boris: You become a special class with its own skill tree. Mighty Boris can feast all day long and is aided by the versatile Clancy, but he CantHoldHisLiquor and will not even contemplate using any weapon but [[AnAxeToGrind his trusty axe, Trusty.]]
*** Bugbear Invasion: Bugbears invade the kingdom, radically shaking up the quest structure and completely changing the end-game.
*** Zombie Slayer: You become a special class with its own skill tree. The name's misleading, though - ''you'' are a zombie. All you can eat [[BrainFood is brains]], you can't consume as much booze as usual, and you can summon hordes of the undead to aid you (while at the same time being limited to "undead" familiars such as the Hovering Sombrero or the Spooky Pirate Skeleton).
*** Class Act: Skills that your class doesn't learn naturally are unusable.
*** Avatar of Jarlsberg: You become a special class with its own skill tree. Jarlsberg, the Great and Powerful, knows incredibly potent magic, but his rampant fear of germs prevents him from eating or drinking anything he doesn't make himself in his Cosmic Kitchen, and he won't contemplate attacking physically.
*** BIG!: You start the game at Level 15 (in a game where you're encouraged to fight the FinalBoss at level ''13''). However, the enemies [[TookALevelInBadass are tougher]], too...
*** KOLHS: Your character is reincarnated as a teenager. They're forced to spend the first 40 adventures of the day in a specific zone, the Kingdom of Loathing High School, where all the monsters scale to your stats, and the school rules forbid hats and familiars over ten pounds. Fortunately, you can ingratiate yourself with one of three cliques depending on the skills you use. And after school, you can craft items from ingredients found while adventuring at the school, go on [[AmateurPhotographer a photography side-quest]] for the Yearbook Club, or get some buffs.
*** Class Act 2: You start out with all and only skills from your chosen class, and are rewarded more for beating monsters and less for choice adventures.
*** Avatar of Sneaky Pete: You become a special class with its own skill tree. You are imbued with the legendary coolness of Sneaky Pete. Your sidekick is a talking motorcycle and can drink booze like a fish. An audience is watching your every move and you need to manipulate the crowd to love or hate you to your advantage. As a downside, you are a very light eater.
*** Slow and Steady: Every day, you have exactly 100 Adventures to work with. No more, no less.
*** Heavy Rains: A massive flood makes monsters tougher to fight and sometimes washes away item drops based on the water level, wandering water-based monsters attack you periodically, and almost all bosses are also replaced by a water-based counterpart that are harder to defeat. However, at very deep waters you get the opportunity to learn new skills that let you harness the power of the storm.
*** Picky: You are limited to only 11 skills and 3 familiars. While it's actually not a challenge whatsoever to newer players as they may not even have 11 skills to pick from, it's crippling to seasoned players who've amassed hundreds of skills that they've come to take for granted. Imagine if you all of a sudden had to use a piece of charcoal and a rock slab to write your essay instead of a computer.
* SelkiesAndWereseals: Blood of the Wereseal is a potion that causes your muscles to wax and wane with the moons.
* SetBonus: Many equipment items can be used together in a certain combination to create an [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Outfit outfit]]. Many of these don't only give bonuses but are also required somewhere in quests. For example, you need to wear the Swashbuckling Getup to unlock parts of the Obligatory Pirate's Cove, and you need to wear the Mining Gear to play the mining minigame, and you need to disguise yourself like a Knob Goblin to get a chance to fight the Goblin King.
* SetRightWhatOnceWentWrong: [[spoiler: After defeating Rene C. Corman at the end of a Zombie Slayer run, you travel back to the times of the Cola Wars, where the [[ThePlague Gray Plague's]] zombification has already started, and inform one of the field medics of the plague's cure.]]
* SequenceBreaking: By design with the Big path, where the monsters are much tougher and you start at level 15 (you only need to reach level 13 to beat the game). You still have to do all the quests before facing the FinalBoss, but the order is irrelevant.
* SequentialBoss: The Naughty Sorceress, and the aptly named Ed the Undying, who is fought a grand total of ''seven'' times in a row, and is never actually killed.
** In fact, that fight ends with the adventurer stuffing the now limbless Ed into a corner and running off with the Macguffin. The fights are also divided by the adventurer's attempts to make off with the Macguffin early; eventually, the adventurer just waits for Ed to get back up and continue the fight.
* SevenDeadlySins: Buyable as skills in Bad Moon ascensions.
* SewerGator: The game has Sewer Gators living in the Maze of Sewer Tunnels that connect the clan basement with Hobopolis.
* ShaggyDogStory: There's a lot of this, mostly PlayedForLaughs.
** The Nemesis quest. It is discovered that your Nemesis has stolen [[MacGuffin an artifact of great power]], so your guild sends you to retrieve it and destroy your Nemesis. After solving some puzzles, fighting some goons, and beating your Nemesis ''four times'', it is revealed that [[spoiler: Larry, a hitherto-unseen fellow member of your guild, had sent the artifact out for cleaning and not told anyone. Larry's new.]] Your character is not pleased to hear this.
** The level 7 quest, where you chase a bunch of undead monsters out of a crypt...and into a nearby cemetery, where they remain for the rest of the game.
** The "figure out how to climb the mountain" portion of the level 8 quest is this, if you don't pull a DungeonBypass with Sneaky Pete's motorcycle. After either fighting ninja snowman assassins to gather mountain-climbing gear or learning how to [=eXtreme=] snowboard, you prepare to use what you've earned to ascend to the peak. At which point you finally notice the ''stairs''.
** The revamped level 9 quest, introduced in November 2012. You fight your way through hordes of [[DoubleEntendre overly sexual orcs]], monsters made of living crude oil, legions of ghosts ([[CaptainErsatz representing fandoms]] like ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' and ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'') [[FandomRivalry locked in eternal combat]], and [[TwinPeaks a ridiculously convoluted and mind-screwy murder mystery]]...[[spoiler:all so your quest contact can ''order a freaking pizza'']]. Like in the Nemesis quest above, your character is ''not'' happy about this, and the quest's entry on your "quest completed" tab is ''dripping'' with seething sarcasm.
-->''You helped Black Angus [[spoiler:get a pizza delivered to his stupid tower in the stupid Highlands]]. [[SarcasmMode Yaaay...]]''
** The level 11 quest, a long, laborious adventure with multiple sub-parts. After schmoozing with pirates, exploring a haunted manor, wandering through a {{Mayincatec}} ruin filled with vengeful ghosts, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking being overdosed on palindromes]], and so on, you eventually defeat a resilient mummy at the bottom of a sunken pyramid and acquire the quest goal: the Holy MacGuffin. [[spoiler:It does absolutely nothing. The council tosses it in a warehouse, and you get a superfluous parade (not pictured).]]
** Finally, ''the whole game''. After defeating [[TakeYourTime the final boss who doesn't do anything to save the king who also doesn't do anything]], you learn that the monsters in the Kingdom are still as violent as ever because of [[spoiler:''you''. The Council's final demand is that you ascend into a NewGamePlus, starting the whole game over from the beginning, but possibly leaving behind a peaceful parallel universe that you can never visit]].
* ShapedLikeItself: "This is a lemon. It's shaped exactly like a lemon."
* ShopClass: A location in the KOLHS challenge path. It's filled with screw golems, out of control bandsaws, deadly vises, [[Film/{{Saw}} demonic jigsaws]], and the teacher, [[BlackComedy who loses a finger every time you fight him]] (to the point that a trophy is available for removing ''all'' of them).
* ShotInTheAss: Shooting arrows into someone's arse is the purpose of the [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Arse-shooting_crossbow Arse-shooting crossbow]], a custom item given to one player. This can be done to ''other players'' as well, and it's a StatusBuff for them.
* ShoutOut: Hundreds, if not thousands. There's [[http://pop.bewarethefgc.com a website]] dedicated to cataloguing them.
** Even This Very Wiki got one in Crimbo 2010!
* ShowsDamage: Ed The "UNDYING!"
* ShovelStrike: The Graverobbing Shovel counts as a 2-hand spear and does spooky damage.
* SignificantAnagram: Rene C. Corman. [[spoiler:Necromancer.]]
** [[spoiler:The Wand of Nagamar]] allows you to fight with ''weaponized anagrams''. [[spoiler:Which is necessary to defeat the Naughty Sorceress's final form.]]
* SinisterScythe: Gained by getting a Rusty Graverobber's Shovel covered in acidic snot twice. Since it's coated in ick, you get +30% damage from it. Part of a GrimReaper costume. Also lampshaded, it's straight-out called "Villainous Scythe."
* [[ZombieApocalypse Skeleton Apocalypse]]: The Halloween 2010 event.
* SkeletonKey: [[{{Pun}} Made of bones and teeth]].
* SlobsVersusSnobs: The Mysterious Island War between hippies and frat boys (respectively) certainly has an aspect of this; the slobs are apathetic, though, and the snobs are violent and boorish while still being snobs.
* SocketedEquipment: A number of examples, including the Scratch 'n' Sniff Sword and Crossbow, the Fossilized Necklace, and the Over-the-shoulder Folder Holder.
* SpeakOfTheDevil: Guy Made of Bees.
* {{Speedrun}}: Common, given the Ascension mechanism. Skills built up and familiars collected over earlier ascensions help a lot. As do items [[BribingYourWayToVictory bought from donations]].
* SpikesOfVillainy: Occasionally worn by the EvilOverlord BonusBoss in the [=GameInformPowerDailyPro=] Dungeon. Also of note is one of said boss's equipment drops: A belt with large horns on the buckle that painfully jab the player in the stomach when worn.
* SpoofAesop: Normally, booze gives you adventures. But the cheap, skunky beer favored by the Orcish Frat Boys does sleaze damage, and moonshine gives you temporary blindness. Only drink the good stuff, kids!
* {{Squick}}: [[invoked]] The basis of Sleaze damage.
* StandardStatusEffects: Averted with a ludicrous array of effects (and buffs) like "Beer In Your Shoes", "Tenuous Grip On Reality", and "Seal Clubbing Frenzy".
** There are even several variations of the [[UniversalPoison standard poison effect]], from "Hardly Poisoned At All", to "Really Quite Poisoned". (Though those can still all be cured by using an anti-anti-antidote.)
* StarSpangledSpandex
* StealthPun: Some of the [[ShoutOut many, many references]] take a bit of thinking. For example, when fighting a one-eyed gnoll, you might get this message: "He picks up a giant rock from nearby and hurls it toward you, knocking you to the ground. [[Music/TheyMightBeGiants It makes you want to turn around and break his heart.]]"
* StevenUlyssesPerhero: Bart Ender.
* StockWeaponNames: "Frostbrand" is parodied with the "Frost™ brand sword".
* StopHelpingMe: [[invoked]] The [[FunWithAcronyms O.A.F. (Optimal Ascension Familiar)]], which slows your EXP gain, removes your buffs, drains your MP, etc. The [[BadLuckCharm Black Cat]] is similar, but at least it doesn't claim to be helping you.
** If you find the enemy-health-revealing Detective Skull too useful, try the [[JustForPun Defective Skull]], which "deduces" the wrong amount of health or something obvious/useless/meaningless to distract you during combat.
--->"I deduce that this monster is one jive turkey."
* StylisticSuck: The stick figure artwork, which sometimes manages to be rather intricate while inventively maintaining a consistent look.
* SuddenlyVoiced: The Gourd in The Captain of the Gourd's Psychoses, voiced by English comedian Creator/MattBerry, of ''TheITCrowd'', ''Series/GarthMarenghisDarkplace'', and ''SnuffBox'' fame.
* SummonMagic: Pastamancers can summon "Pasta Guardians", undead creatures with bodies made of - you guessed it - pasta.
* SuperReflexes: Any character with a high Moxie. The higher it is, the less likely it is that the monster will hit you;there's a point where only a critical hit can touch you.
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: Uncle P's Antiques:
--> Welcome to our Antique Store, which is absolutely, positively a legitimate establishment, and not a front for any sort of criminal activities.
** [[LampshadeHanging Lampshaded]] in one of the Arrbour Day adventures:
--> "Okay," you say, and pry the [bear] trap's jaws apart. "Say, you were awfully specific about what you weren't going to do to me. I mean, it was almost like you were lying-- AIEEE!"
* TheSymbiote: Every piece of armor from the "Mutant Couture" outfit is prefixed with "Parasitic". Two different types of CombatTentacles, a crab-like claw, and a ''mouth''. There is also a campround item called "Burrowgrub Hive". You pick it up and get three maggots infesting your arm. You can [[{{Squick}} extract and ''eat'' the maggots in the middle of combat for a quick boost of HP and MP.]]
* {{Synchronization}}: Inverted in the battle against your shadow. You cannot normally hurt it, but it takes damage equal to the amount of HitPoints by which you heal yourself.
* TakeAThirdOption: At least three: If you want to [[spoiler:get a reward from the Giant in The Strange Leaflet Quest]], and if you want the best reward for [[spoiler:ending the war between the Hippies and the Frat Boys]], and if you resolve the turf war between the Roller Skates and Ice Skates by getting rid of both gangs.
* TakeThat: While the game usually veers towards AffectionateParody, anything that Mr. Skullhead doesn't like will inevitably get one of these.
* TakeYourTime: Don't worry, the Naughty Sorceress never actually does anything. Neither does your Nemesis. In fact, [[spoiler: if you defeat all but his/her/its final [[OneWingedAngel demonic form]], and then lose to or run away from the demon, you can then proceed to go wherever you want and do whatever you want and come back at leisure - your Nemesis will still be sitting there in demonic form doing nothing until you return]].
** After you start a war between the Frat Boys and the Hippies, the two armies march out to the battlefield and...just stand there doing nothing indefinitely, until you decide to join the fight. If you fight for only one side, that side will eventually win with zero casualties, because the other side never takes the offensive!
* TechTree: Certain challenge paths will have these, where you use points to unlock skills, in place of purchasing skills like you normally do. Avatar of Boris and Zombie Slayer give you three trees, and you unlock skills in a particular tree in a certain order. Avatar of Jarlsberg has four trees, and they branch slightly. In all of the paths, you can increase the amount of skill points you start with by completing that path multiple times.
* TechnicolorToxin:
-->"This is a BRICKO brick shot through with deadly poison which has tainted it green. Because everybody knows that all poison is green. If you're ever wondering if something is poisoned, your first question should be "Is it green?" If it's not green, eat it, because you're totally safe. In fact, the whole reason Kings had food tasters in ancient days is because they were all colorblind."
* TempleOfDoom: [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Hidden_Temple The Hidden Temple]]
* TestosteronePoisoning: The Avatar of Boris path, where you play as an [[AnAxeToGrind axe-wielding]] macho man, with the ability to laugh off injuries (literally), make monsters run away by shouting at them, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking demand sandwiches]]. By the end of the game, he's so manly that a certain normally-devastating magical attack just rebounds off his chest muscles.
-->''You laugh as the beam of energy harmlessly bounces off your powerful chest muscles and shoots back down the hallway.''
* TheMagicPokerEquation: This is how you win a card game in one of the special [[SelfImposedChallenge Bad Moon]] adventures. [[LampshadeHanging The other card players then declare they won't stand for such a hackneyed and unrealistic scenario, and beat you up.]]
* TheThingThatGoesDoink: When the Spaghetti Cult send an Asian assassin after you (Last thug encountered during the second half of the Nemesis quest when playing as a Pastamancer), Yakisoba the Executioner.
-->CherryBlossoms swirl gently in the air as a cool breeze rustles the treetops and crickets sing in the shade. Somewhere nearby, there is a melodic ''Klonk'' as one of those bamboo things fills with water and tips over.
* ThirstyDesert: Adventuring in the Arid, Extra-Dry Desert without the 'Ultrahydrated' effect is likely to have negative consequences.
* ThirteenIsUnlucky: Thirteen has been omitted from a lot of stuff.
* TickerTapeParade: The reward for completing the Level 11 quest. [[AntiClimax It's the longest and most annoying quest in the game.]]
* TimeTravelTenseTrouble: Most noticeable in the Distant Past, where it switches back and forth between third-person past and second-person present. Also gets lampshaded upon your arrival in the future, after a lot of future-tense exposition.
-->You will then start getting your narrative in present tense, because it's the future, we get it, no need to run that joke into the ground.
* TimeyWimeyBall: Time travel is treated with about as much seriousness as everything else, so this is inevitable.
** The "temporal rifts" world event showed up to [[RealLifeWritesThePlot explain the mess created by an accidentally deleted database]] and allowed travel to various past and future times; one was [[TemporalParadox a zombie apocalypse which players had to collect zombie organs from to prevent said zombie apocalypse in the present]]. Players also received "petrified time" which could be crafted into items to give them extra adventures every day...even though other items ''not'' made of petrified time also do this, apparently by different unexplained means. As if this all wasn't confusing enough, the Zombie Slayer path reveals that [[spoiler:Corman caused the zombie apocalypse in the past because he's Cristobal Colon. But then you became a zombie and helped other zombies defeat him, after which you [[StableTimeLoop went back in time and invented the cure for the zombie virus by virtue of it having already been invented in your time]]. Or...something.]]
** On a completely different tangent, the time-travel quests in Agua De Vida bottles seem to operate on genetic memory. Which somehow works for things in the future, and allows people in the distant past or future to drop items usable in the present...through your memory. But not in the Very Beginning, or for temporally displaced quest items, which are ''memories'' of items rather than...[[MindScrew oh, forget it.]]
* TookALevelInBadass: A Knob Goblin kid who can bring you a beer in an early choice adventure eventually becomes [[spoiler:Lord Flameface]], the boss of a world event.
** All the six main classes took several after the class revamps of late 2013, gaining several class-exclusive abilities:
*** Seal Clubbers became able to [[TheBerserker accumulate Fury]] after winning consecutive combats, which can be spent on powerful attacks or grants combat bonuses proportional to how much Fury you have.
*** Turtle Tamers gained the favor of three Great Turtle Spirits, which can be combined with their offensive and defensive skills for various effects and even let them [[ElementalShapeshifter transform into their Avatar]] for a short time.
*** Pastamancers can now summon and recall Pasta Thralls at will, as opposed to the old way of having to find them in certain adventures, only being able to use them 10-15 times a day, and not being able to maintain more than two connections at a time (so breaking a connection reverts them back to level 1).
*** Saucerors learned how to cast several hindering curses, and harnessed the power of Soulsauce which can be expended for devastating special spells.
*** Disco Bandits mastered many [[KnifeNut knife-related]] special attacks, and their dance moves started to generate Disco Momentum, which increases their performance.
*** Accordion Thieves finally acquired some combat skills, ceasing to be [[SpoonyBard the only class without them]].
* TradeSnark: The [=ChibiBuddy=]™ item has this. It extends to the descriptions and messages you get when you interact with it, as anything that's a Chibi[=[object]=] gets the trademark symbol, like [=ChibiCar=]™, [=ChibiNeck=]™, [=ChibiSkiLift=]™, and [=ChibiPireStateBuilding=]™. Same deal with the "Frost™ brand sword" and "Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant House (TM)."
* TraumaInn: Your dwelling at your campground, as well as the Comfy Sofa in your clan rumpus room.
* TrialAndErrorGameplay: With most choice adventures, there's not much of a clue as to which choice does what. Players who avoid guides and assistive tools generally need to resort to trying each of them until they find the one that works.
* TrueFinalBoss: For the Sea Quest; if you [[spoiler: forge together the sets of equipment each boss gives you per class via both Scholar and Gladiator]]; wear all 6 pieces of armor; you will face the force that's behind the Elder Gods. [[spoiler: Dad Sea Monkee; hooked up to some kind of [[Videogame/{{Earthbound}} Devil's Machine]]/[[PeopleJars Person Jar]].]]
* TurtlePower: The Turtle Tamer class.
* TVTropesWillRuinYourLife: As mentioned above, one of the monsters for the 2010 Crimbo is the Tome of Tropes, a reference to [[TVTropes this site]]. Part of the description for the monster reads "every entry contains several references to other cleverly-named tropes...and at some point you look up and see you're eight years older than when you started."
* TheUndead: Every enemy in the Misspelled Cematary and Defiled Crypt, as well as many of the enemies in [[HauntedHouse Spookyraven Manor]].
* UnidentifiedItems: Using the [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Plus_sign Plus sign]] identifies all items associated with the Enormous Greater-Than Sign, aka The Dungeons of Doom. It's all a reference to the roguelike ''[=NetHack=]''.
* TheUnreveal: The Game Grid had one minigame, [[VideoGame/DonkeyKong Jackass Plumber]], which was always "OUT OF ORDER." After a year and a half of this, Crimbo 2011 came around, and players were able to give each other Jackass Plumber consoles as presents. Had the dev team finally gotten around to making the minigame? Well...not exactly. When the gifts became openable, it turned out that the consoles [[spoiler:required nonexistent "Q" batteries. Using the console just makes your character wander around looking for batteries until he/she [[RageQuit gets really mad and gives up]]. At least it temporarily boosts your attack power.]]
* UniversalPoison: Used to be the case; now there are multiple kinds of being poisoned. And they stack. Instead of [[StandardStatusEffects sapping your HP]], it's a debuff to all stats.
** The various poisons range from Hardly Poisoned At All (ignorable) to Majorly Poisoned (which likely drops your stats to 1).
* UnusualEuphemism: In order to avoid spoiling things for new players, a particular plot-critical item is customarily referred to as "the Smurf" in the chat.
* UselessSpleen: Your spleen is completely useless but still cumbersome, because it limits the number of stat-increasing items you can consume per day.
* {{Vaporware}}: In-universe with the perpetually out-of-order Jackass Plumber arcade game, and the portable edition that ''also'' doesn't work. For the game as a whole, the increasingly hypothetical NS-15 patch would add two more quests and make the final boss the level 15 quest; the NS-13 release moved the endgame from level 11 to level 13, but the long delay and potential for TheyChangedItNowItSucks means that NS-15 may never happen.
* VictoryByEndurance: Applies to enemies. You automatically lose if a fight takes too long.
--> This fight is being ended because it took more than 30 rounds, which is sort of unreasonable.\\
You lose. You slink away, dejected and defeated.
* VideoGameCrueltyPotential: Seal Clubbers can learn a skill that destroys equipment for usable items. Some pieces of equipment are living animals. So you can smash a turtle into dust.
** As opposed to meat-pasting live spiky turtles into pieces of armor and then wearing them as a Turtle Tamer.
* ViolationOfCommonSense: Upon your initial visit to the Arid, Extra-Dry Desert, you'll likely suffer a couple of harmful effects before finding the way to the Oasis, and you'll quickly learn that adventuring there when not Ultrahydrated is a ''bad'' idea. Except doing so is the only way to find one of the hobo codes and the twitching trigger finger.
* WakeUpCallBoss: Even players who have ascended dozens of times still have trouble with the Goblin King and Bonerdagon.
* WakeUpGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld: The "KOLHS" challenge path requires you to spend around 40 adventures in the titular school every day - which is pretty much all the adventures you get during rollover.
* {{Whatevermancy}}: The Pastamancer.
* WhatTheHellPlayer: Eating certain foods, mainly raw ingredients such as carob chunks, raw Chorizo, and bottles of ketchup, will cause the game to call you an idiot. Also lemons and limes; notably, if you eat a lime, the game comment that, while you are insane to do so, you are ''slightly less insane'' than you would be if you were eating a lemon.
** In the Turtle Tamer Nemesis quest, one is attacked by "brainwashed" guard turtles. One of their drops is their shell. "So you killed a turtle, ripped the shell from its back, and now you're going to wear it on your head. As a hat. Some Turtle Tamer you are. Damn."
** Three of the five hit messages for attacking with a chefstaff, which really isn't a very effective weapon for hitting things with, tell you outright that it would be a better idea to use it for casting spells than as a bludgeon.
*** Which is hilarious when you're doing tens or hundreds of times the monster's HP in damage anyway.
** You can pickpocket the Guy Made Of Bees, and thus receive a handful of bees. The item description is shocked that you were insane enough to do this in the first place.
** True [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Whole_Kingdom the whole kingdom can't really hurt]] you but that's no reason to be a jerk about it!
** The [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Soggy_used_band-aid soggy used band-aid]], picked up from diving into a swimming pool.Its use message directly asks what the hell is wrong with you, and just to drive the point home,the monster you're fighting is so stunned by what you just did that he forgets to fight you.
* WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer:
** The "plinking" strategy, which relies on making basically everything you need in combat dependent on [[MinMaxing a single maximized stat]], Moxie, and not even bothering to use special attacks.
** Boris. He'll only use his axe [[ICallItVera Trusty]], and won't even consider using another weapon.
** The Loathing Legion jackhammer, a form of the "Loathing Legion Knife" Mr. Store item, references this and parodies it by replacing every enemy picture with that of a nail.
** The description of the effect of the "correction fluid" item contains this:
---> To an Adventurer with only a poison-coated weapon, every problem looks like an unpoisoned monster.
* WhenTreesAttack: The "Arborween" event had adventurers face against a wide array of evil mobile trees.
* WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes: All adventurers of all classes have something in common: coulrophobia.
* WholePlotReference: The entire White Citadel quest chain was, until 9/19/14, a gigantic reference to Film/HaroldAndKumarGoToWhiteCastle, including the fratboys, cheetah, and pretty much everything about it.
** The Vanya's Castle area fom the "Map to Vanya's Castle" item is one for 8-bit ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaI''. The Dreadsylvania clan dungeon is one for the 16-120 bit ones (ie, the MetroidVania and ever more serious ones). If, y'kow, Dracula was an alcoholic...
* WhoWouldBeStupidEnough: With his dying breath, [[spoiler:the Warbear General]] expresses amazement at [[spoiler:Uncle Crimbo]] being willing to build a superweapon that accelerates Global Warming in a bid to win the conflict between them.
* WilliamTelling: One of the possible minigames (all of which have the exact same function of distributing 99.9% of the bet money to one of the two players completely at random) in the Money Making Game has the player that accepts the bet trying to do this to the player that placed it. If he hits the apple, he wins. If he misses the apple, the other player wins. And if he misses the apple, he always hits the other player
* WinBackTheCrowd: InUniverse; the Avatar of Sneaky Pete has abilities tied to the reaction of the "live StudioAudience".
* TheWorldTree: Or rather, its EvilTwin, the Underworld Tree; a boss of the "Arborween" Special Event.
* WordofGod: The kingdom's creators have their own radio show/podcast where they answer questions from players and supply "narrative justification" which may not always make sense. At all. Some examples:
** Nothing ever dies, you just beat them up. Where do the skins/corpses you find come from? They carry them around of course!
** Also, you shouldn't feel bad about smashing turtles, you send them straight to turtle heaven, they even send back powder as a thank you.
** The reason most artwork isn't animated is because the kingdom's sun removes animation, just look at the (fully animated) sea!
** The "Distant Lands" have been mentioned in passing several times in various adventures, but the creators have said on the weekly radio show that player will never be able to visit them. This is despite the fact that you actually ''can'' visit parts of the Distant lands when going on vacation at The Shore, but the creators say that doesn't count.
* WorldOfPun: When the game isn't making random references to song lyrics, it's hitting you over the head with puns of varying quality.
--> "You're fighting a bread golem. You find him crusty, and his wit stale. For having thought of the previous sentence [[LamePunReaction you almost hope he manages to kick your ass]]."
--> "This is a bat with the body of a baseball. [[LampshadeHanging And the heart of a bad pun.]]"
* TheWormThatWalks: The Guy Made Of Bees.
-->'''We Are Bees. We Hate You.'''
* WrittenSoundEffect: '''Ouch!'''es, '''ZAP!'''s and '''[[VideoGame/RiverCityRansom BARF!]]'''s. The more damage you deal, the more sound effects appear.
** Certain weapons replace these sound effects. [[VideoGame/GuitarHero The plastic guitar]] switches them for "CLICK!", guns use "BANG!", and the heavy metal thunder guitarrr uses "SKWEEDLY-DEE!"
* WrongSideOfTheTracks: Even goes by that name.
* YourMom: A chef knocks you over in the Haunted Pantry, so you steal his plate of tarts. The description for the tarts reads:
--> This is a tasty tart. And hey, speaking of which, how is your mom doing these days?
* YouHaveResearchedBreathing: You don't know how to put on a shirt when you start. It is only available after [[NewGamePlus Ascending]] or completing a quest. There's an alternate way to learn this skill in Bad Moon ascensions. It involves getting nearly cut in half, at which point your character becomes aware of the torso he almost lost. Notably, the gnome who nearly bisected you is deeply confused that you didn't realize you had a torso.
** Also of note is Advanced Cocktailcrafting. While the ability to summon little cocktail accessories is fairly impressive, you also need this skill if you want to, say, ''place a little paper umbrella in a drink''.
** Also, you need to get a skill called [[{{Whatevermancy}} Tempuramancy]] to learn how to ''deep fry.''
*** That is, learning to deep fry in ''a thermal vent on the ocean floor''.
** Similarly, Pastamastery is necessary to cook simple ramen dishes, even though lots of more complex cookings don't require any skills.
*** Inverted with most recipes, which can be "discovered" simply by putting the right ingredients together; you automatically know what to do with them, even if it really shouldn't be that simple. On the other hand, some dishes require you to learn the recipe first. Many of the latter kind are weird enough that this makes sense, but one would think that combining brownie mix and white chocolate chips wouldn't require [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Mother%27s_secret_recipe special instructions.]]
** A [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/A_Crimbo_Carol,_Ch._1 Crimbo skill]] teaches you how to eat too much over the holidays and get fat.
** The whole kingdom did this when all players became aware that container items, like backpacks, are worn on something known as a "back."
* YouShouldntKnowThisAlready: The recipe system lets you try to combine different ingredients to make new items. If you attempt a legitimate combination, the recipe is added to your recipe book forever. If your combination doesn't do anything, it tells you so, and neither of the ingredients are consumed. However, some recipes only work if you currently have a particular skill, like pastamastery, and if you lose that skill, it won't let you use the recipe, even though it's in your recipe book. Furthermore, a handful of recipes can only be used if you've already learned the recipe from a specific source. For example, white chocolate chip brownies can only be made after you use the special item "mother's secret recipe". Trying to cook the ingredients otherwise yields the message "It seems like that should work... but it does not."
* YourSoulIsMine: Saucerors can learn a skill to gain Soulsauce from defeated enemies and use it for various attacks and buffs.
* ZombieApocalypse: The premise of the fall 2012 challenge path, Zombie Slayer.
----