[[quoteright:192:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/midget_5558.png]]
[[caption-width-right:192:Using them is a valid strategy.]]

''H.A.M (Heroic Armies Marching)'' is a combination Card Game and Turn Based Strategy. The underlying concept is that each card is either a handful of units to be placed upon the game grid, or a spell for messing around with the battle. The game is full of satirical fantasy elements. Dire sloths are pitted against omnipotent space bats, man-eating demons against eldritch horrors. The game is rather simple, with an AI mode, a 2 player mode, and a tutorial.

Takes RuleOfCool and RuleOfFunny and makes a fantasy world out of it.

Play it here: http://sandbox.yoyogames.com/games/171985-h-a-m-heroic-armies-marching
----
Tropes used include:
* AbnormalAmmo: The Dragon-born Brute has a mini-gun that fires depleted unicorn horns.
* AdvancedAncientAcropolis: The Armadillokin were implied to have one, before they went extinct.
* ArtEvolution: From the original version.
** Most notably the terrain.
* AsteroidsMonster: Twin Burgers turn into 2 Baby Burgers on death.
* AttackOfThe50FootWhatever: Arachne, who is pretty much a giant spidertaur.
%%** Zar'gletords.
* BareFistedMonk: The Ausalian Queen, capable of taking down huge demons, and breaking down walls with nothing more than her bare hands. And [[ArtificialLimbs robot legs]].
* BatterUp: Duckkin Enforcers.
* BlackMage: Pretty much every spellcaster, the Mad Wizard most notably.
* BreathWeapon: The Arachnelisk is capable of spewing webs from its mouth.
* {{BFG}}: The Dragonborn Brute has a magical mini-gun.
* {{BFS}}: Zargletords' sword is larger than the most units.
* BulletHell: The Hamsterkin Rocket Trooper is able to attack in the form of gyrorockets that can slowly cover the entire board.
** The SS Armageddon is able to summon twice as many gyrorockets, and is still able to attack afterwards!
* CastFromHitPoints: The Mad Wizard takes one point of damage (in the form of an explosion) every time it attacks.
** The [[ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight Fleep]] is able to heavily damage itself to permanently increase its attack and counterattack significantly.
* CombatMedic: Dragonborn healers have petitioned to be renamed Dragonborn mages.
** The Mobile Supply Depot is the most obvious example.
* CoversAlwaysLie: The DJ Spew's card image.
** The total attack power of all the units attacking Booger on his card equal 10, meaning Booger should be dead.
* CripplingOverspecialization: Artillery cannot move and attack in the same turn.
* DeathOfAThousandCuts: Flesh Guards take a fixed amount of extra damage from direct attacks, making this a viable strategy for taking them out with ease.
* DualBoss: The Heroes card is the only unique card in the game that gives you multiple different units.
* EldritchAbomination: Zorspoink, the Non-Euclidean Bat. He created the world and is also a bit of a jerk. His card and in-game sprite is the only one that is animated.
** Vnuh Smuj'kurfh.
** In [[spoiler:Vs. Zorspoink]] mode, unprotected characters will morph into Eldritch Abominations.
* EmphasizeEverything: THE BEAST
* EnemySummoner: Mommma Burger, SS Armageddon, Hamsterkin Rocket Trooper, Dirigibill, and Oozinite.
%%* FragileSpeedster: Circus Midgets. Baby Burgers have even less health, but are slower.
* GeniusBruiser: Hamsterkin Brutes use AwesomeByAnalysis in conjunction with massive wrenches. They also use their intelligence to organize their diets and exercise routines, to get strong in the first place.
* GlassCannon: THE BEAST, a card that deals huge amounts of damage and counterattack, but only has 4 health.
* {{Golem}}: Fish Golems, Mana Golems, [[JokeCharacter Shit Golems]]
* HumongousMecha: The SS [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast Armageddon]].
* LightningBruiser: The Ausalian Queen.
* LivingShadow: The Shadow Stalker, which cannot take damage, but must be behind an allied unit for it to attack or even live.
* MagicKnight: The Daeva Spellblade
* MightyGlacier:
** Zar'Gletords. He can't move and attack in the same turn, and has no counterattack, but he attacks with a {{BFS}} that reaches 3 squares away, dealing massive damage to all in his path.
** The Oozinite qualifies. It is capable of attacking in any direction, however, attacking creates a wall of mini-oozes around it, preventing it from moving.
%%** Steamroll Manfuckers, and, even more so, Elder Manfuckers.
* TheMinionMaster: Momma Burgers aren't good fighters, but they can spawn two Baby Burgers per turn.
** Oozinites can create up to four Mini-Oozes each turn.
* MonsterAllies: You can make decks with whichever cards you want.
* MoreDakka: The S.S.Armageddon
** To a lesser extent, the Dragonborn Brute
* MultiArmedAndDangerous: Arachne Cultists, as well as Arachne herself.
* {{Mook}}: Soldiers
** SlaveMook: Goblins
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: Steamroll Manfuckers
* NonIronicClown: Circus Midgets, and by extension, Circus Cavalry.
* OurGoblinsAreDifferent: Goblins in this world are incredibly stupid and are also weaker than an infant. Speaking of which, Goblin Babies are units that can be summoned in groups of 10 for 4 gold. They are described as so weak, their skin peels off like wet paper. Do note that the card image features a goblin baby caving its own head in with a rattler.
* OurDemonsAreDifferent: While Minor and Wild demons play it straight, Major demons can be good-aligned, and are made more powerful by faith.
* PrecisionFStrike: Steamroll Manfucker.
* TheRockStar: Dragonborn bard.
* RoyalsWhoActuallyDoSomething: The Ausalian Queen.
* RunningGag: All horses have incredibly silly facial expressions, save for the Circus Cavalry.
* ShirtlessScene: Orcs and Dwarf Berserkers.
* ShoutOut: Several:
** The Cavalry Mages are [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic "Powered by the Magic of Friendship".]] Red Team's cavalry mage's horse resembles Fluttershy, while Blue Team's cavalry mage's horse looks like Rainbow Dash.
** The Hamsterkin Saboteur sure looks a lot like the ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'' Demoman...
** The Batkin Vigilante's enemies include [[Franchise/{{Batman}} Clowns and Scarecrows]].
** The Burger enemies are all named after burgers in the A&W chain.
** The [[spoiler:[[VideoGame/CommanderKeen Dopefish]]]], a rare card that has a very low chance of being drawn instead of other cards.
** The [[ComicBook/TheIncredibleHulk Hulk]] is fairly obvious.
** The Dragonborn Warlord is pretty much [[Series/BarneyAndFriends Barney]]
* SquishyWizard: Daeva Mages.
** Subverted by [[RealityWarper Daeva Celestials]] and [[AWizardDidIt Mad Wizards]], though.
* StockMonsters: [[BlobMonster Oozinites]], [[GiantSpider Arachnelisks]], [[OurGoblinsAreDifferent Goblins]], [[OurDragonsAreDifferent Dragons]], MechaMooks, TheUndead, [[{{Golem}} Golems]], and many others.
* StoneWall: The Dire Sloth.
* SummonBiggerFish: Bigger Frog, which always has more health than the unit on the field with the most health.
* SummonMagic: The Summon Zombie and Summon Mana {{Golem}} spells.
* SuperStrength: The Snakekin Race have enhanced strength, equal to that of their tails.
* UpliftedAnimal: Ossington the Walrus, a factoid spouting critter on the main page.
* VideogameCrueltyPotential: Using Goblin Babies in battle.
** Baby burgers as well.
* WeaksauceWeakness: Snakekin can't move if their tails are subjected to extreme temperatures, as they are cold-blooded from the waist down.
* AWizardDidIt: Chimaeras
* WrenchWench: The Hamsterkin Rockettrooper.
* ZergRush: Baby Burgers can move the turn they are placed.
** Goblin Babies could qualify due to the sheer number you get, but they are slow moving.
* ZombieApocalypse: One of the AI decks features only zombies.
----