[[quoteright:293:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/BrainDead13.jpeg]]

->''"If it's a challenge you want, then it's a deadly game you'll get! We shall see just who is 'average'"''
-->-- '''Dr. Neurosis'' in the intro.

An interactive movie game similar to ''VideoGame/DragonsLair'' and ''VideoGame/SpaceAce'', created and published by [=ReadySoft=] for MS-DOS in late 1995. As in those games, you have to input commands at the right time during the movie or face sudden death, and have to retry. Compared to ''Dragon's Lair'', ''Brain Dead 13'' gives the player slightly more time to make decisions and actually tells you when you entered a wrong command (instead of killing you, as Dragon's Lair does), but there's much less of an idea of what you're supposed to do and when (and some of the inputs are downright counterintuitive). Combine that with EverythingTryingToKillYou and you've got yourself a challenge.

You star as computer fixit Lance Galahad, who is hired on a routine repair job to the creepy old castle just outside town, but discovers that he's been tricked into fixing the computer of MadScientist Dr. Nero Neurosis, who now plans on using his master server to take over the world. Unfortunately for Lance, he makes the mistake of [[LampshadeHanging pointing out how cliche]] Neurosis' plot is, which, of course, doesn't exactly go over well. Lance finds himself on the run from the doctor's psychotic henchman, Fritz, and now has to find his way through the oddly large castle, fight the various other villains who live there, make it back to Neurosis' computer and shut it down, taking out Neurosis for good.

The game features several unique, vibrant areas and characters, including the seductive but sadistic Vivi, who has the intent of giving you the best, and last, makeover you'll ever have, and Moose, the FrankensteinsMonster with the brain of a mindless jock. The areas are interesting but challenging, since standing still at any point will leave you dead faster than you can blink.

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!!This game provides examples of:

* AcidPool: At the beginning of the Giant Statue stage, this acid pool will form under the ground tiles Lance is standing on, and if you wait too long, they will wobble and collapse under his weight and cause him to ''fall in and drown!''
** There is also another acid pool in the fountain, and he will fall in if he can't find something to grab onto, like a gargoyle statue. He will also fall into the same pool in other death scenes.
* AffablyEvil: Vivi, to both Lance (who she tries to chop) and Fritz (who she tosses into a spiked coffin).
* AirGuitar: [[spoiler:Lance does this in a victory pose after defeating Dr. Neurosis and watching his lair explode.]]
* AllWitchesHaveCats: The twin witches each have a black cat in their room, which is very obvious.
* AmazingTechnicolorPopulation: Every foe that Lance encounters has a different kind of skin: [[TheIgor Fritz's]] skin is kinda grayish-yellow, [[VampiresAreSexGods Vivi's]] skin is a lighter shade of purple, and [[FrankensteinsMonster Moose's]] skin is forest green. Only Lance himself has even a vaguely healthy human skin tone.
* AmericanKirbyIsHardcore: When the game was first released in the U.S., its original box cover art shows Fritz unloading a wide range of weapons under his trenchcoat in all console versions. When the game became localized for Japanese releases in October 1996, it is averted in the box art for the PlayStation version (same as in the American release), but inverted when the [[http://image.gamespotcdn.net/gamespot/images/bigboxshots/2/196812_14924_front.jpg Japanese Sega Saturn version box art]] is very different, in that it adds [[RedHeadedHero Red-Headed]] IdiotHero Lance Galahad right next to Fritz, who looks ready to slice him with a {{chainsaw|Good}} while our hero is struggling to stay alive, indicating that Japanese Fritz ''is'' hardcore! Real peachy, Japan.
* AmusingInjuries: The game plays off the deaths as this, but despite the BloodlessCarnage, they can get pretty graphic.
* AnArmAndALeg: Lance can end up dead like this in a "manicure" if you don't help him escape Vivi's attempts to cut off his hand.
* AndStarring: Parodied in the game box cover art, shown above, which says, "Starring Fritz".
* AxCrazy: Fritz. More like "hook, harpoon, chainsaw" crazy, but you get the idea.
* BadassArmFold: Lance makes a pose like this in resurrection scenes [[spoiler:and in the final confrontation, showing that he is brave in the face of certain death]].
* BadassNormal: One of the two reasons why Lance is alive (and kicking) among a castleful of monsters and undead beings.
* BatOutOfHell: The bats in the Trophy Room. Somewhat downplayed when one of them (a giant bat) wraps around Lance and starts playfully chewing on his head while Lance gets a slightly irritated look, in one scene that is less of a death scene and more of a cutesy mosquito bite scene.
* BatterUp: In one part of the scene, Moose wields one giant baseball bat, intending to bash Lance's brains out if you're not quick or careful.
* BearsAreBadNews: In one death scene in the Trophy Room, a bear rug comes to life and mauls Lance down to the ground, and there is a DiscretionShot in which his body parts (green ooze, bones, eyeballs, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking baseball cap]]) fly over the place.
* BerserkButton: "AVERAGE?!?"
* BigNo: [[spoiler:Dr. Neurosis does this on noticing that Fritz has been tricked into completely damaging his computer and machinery after Lance defeats him; this is followed by the BigBad's shout of "Fritz, you imbecile!"]]
* BigRedButton: Lance blows up Neurosis and his computer with one of these.
* BlackComedy
* BloodlessCarnage: Despite all the horrible ways to die, none of them show any blood or gore. The only exception is that there is a scene with the red blood in the transfusion bag, and that is in the resurrection scene when Lance gets his blood back in the "Vivi's Salon" sequence.
* BlowingARaspberry: Lance does this while taunting Moose from the top of the basketball net:
-->'''Lance:''' ''[shouts]'' Hey, looking for me, stitch-lips? ''[blows a raspberry with his tongue]''
** This also occurs in one death scene in the acid fountain when he dodges the spray of acid and acts all "Missed me!" as he blows a raspberry... before another spray of acid hits his face.
* BondOneLiner: In Vivi's Salon, [[spoiler:when Vivi gets pushed into the Beautifier and gets defeated by it, but not killed, Lance makes a BadassBoast at her]]:
-->[[spoiler:'''Lance:''' Hey, Viv! I'll take a rain check on that... ''{{b|riefAccentImitation}}ite''!]]
** Of course, this will turn into a SedgwickSpeech if he doesn't avoid Fritz's attack and get out of the salon.
** Before that, she also delivers this BondOneLiner to Lance after she has [[OffWithHisHead cut off his head]] [[AnArmAndALeg or his hand]]:
-->'''Vivi:''' ''[innocently]'' [[Series/FamilyMatters Awww, did I do that?]]
* BoringInsult: The whole plot stems from the villain, MadScientist BrainInAJar Dr. Neurosis, taking offense to the hero calling him an "average mad scientist".
* BottomlessPits: Lance can fall into one and die if he hasn't beaten all the bosses before meeting up with Fritz in the final battle.
* BoundAndGagged: Lance, more "gagged" than "bound", at Vivi's salon. And he will remain that way until you choose the facial.
* BrainInAJar: Dr. Neurosis.
* BriefAccentImitation: When Lance tells Vivi, "[[BondOneLiner I'll take a rain check on that...]] ''[[{{Pun}} bite]]''!", he mocks her SouthernBelle accent for a bit when he puts the emphasis on the word "bite".
* BuildingSwing: While being chased up the stairs to Moose's room, Lance is stopped by a gap at the summit of the stairs. What does he do? He grabs a dangling chain in front of him and swings across the gap to safety near the entrance.
* ButtMonkey: Fritz, who has a chance of getting injured in every single room. Let alone the final battle....
* {{Catchphrase}}: "Hiya, pal."
* CatsAreMean: In either witch scene when a black cat encounters Lance, it will get into a cat fight and slice his head into bits. Ouch!
* ChainsawGood: Fritz at one point attaches one to his wrist.
* ChekhovsGun[=/=]ItMayHelpYouOnYourQuest: The eyeballs from the rooms of the twin witches. [[spoiler:It later helps Lance out for use as a tetherball weapon against Fritz in the final confrontation. Of course, this still doesn't answer the question of why Lance picked up the eyeballs in the first place.]]
* {{Circling B|irdies}}ats: Vivi gets this when she's [[HoistByHisOwnPetard defeated by her own Mortifier-Beautifier]].
* CleanCut: In one death scene on the stairs, Fritz takes multiple swings of the ax and hacks Lance into bits, and they all fall down the stairs, starting with his legs and ending with his head.
* CleopatraNose: Lance probably has this. [[http://www.mobygames.com/game/3do/brain-dead-13/screenshots/gameShotId,504879/ This picture speaks for itself.]]
* ClothingDamage: It happens in some death scenes involving Fritz (specifically the "egg beater death" and the "balcony death").
* [[spoiler:CollapsingLair]]: [[spoiler:The result of Lance's pressing the [[BigRedButton Big Red "Flush" Button]] that can cause the castle to self-destruct.]]
* ConspicuousCG: [[spoiler: Dr. Neurosis' room. Everything, except him, Lance and Fritz is in CG.]]
* CreepyCentipedes: There's a room (the Wine Cellar) where a giant centipede comes out of a hole. And it'll [[OffWithHisHead bite Lance's head off]] if you're not quick.
* CruelAndUnusualDeath: Some of these may vary, from being torn apart vertically at the eyes by Fritz, to getting your own skull knocked off of your head.
* CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon: During a WingdingEyes segment revolving around how badly Fritz is going to kill Lance, a high heel shoe appears.
* DancingIsSeriousBusiness[=/=]GratuitousDiscoSequence: Lance has to do this to "[[Music/TheBeeGees stay alive]]" while dodging [[MoreDakka a hail of bullets]] that TriggerHappy Fritz shoots at both our hero and Neurosis. And it all takes place entirely in the [[EvilIsNotWellLit darkness]], where the only tiny pillars of light are used as [[StandardDiscoEquipment a disco dance floor]].
* DangerouslyCloseShave[=/=]SinisterScythe: If Lance chooses the "shave" (which is rather odd, since he doesn't have any facial hair), Vivi will spray him with green shaving cream, and she will use this small scythe to try and [[OffWithHisHead kill him in this dangerous way]], a la SweeneyTodd.
* DarknessEqualsDeath: The final confrontation takes place entirely in blackness. And [[spoiler:since Fritz appears to settle the score once and for all]], it can mean death for you if you don't act quickly.
* DeadHatShot: Occurs in a couple of deaths, including falling into a spiked pit and being eaten by the frog in the maze down one of the wrong paths.
* DeadlyDodging: Lance in part defeats Neurosis by tricking Fritz into shooting him.
** The witches are both defeated by constantly running away until they slam into a wall at high speed.
* DeathFromAbove: In the main entryway scene, Fritz will jump from the top and land on top of Lance, killing him and making a grave. This is [[ImpactSilhouette easily avoided]].
* DeathIsASlapOnTheWrist: Since you have unlimited lives in this interactive game, you'll always start where you last left off when you die.
* DemonicDummy[=/=]PerversePuppet: One puppet on a string in the conservatory will grab Lance by the neck with its strings, choke him, and pull him up offscreen into unseen death in one death scene.
* {{Determinator}}: Fritz. Insanely so.
* DiagonalCut: Happens when Lance is slashed by one of the witches' black cats or when Fritz hits him with a saber.
* DiesWideOpen: Lance, in some of the death scenes.
* DinnerDeformation: A couple of the deaths result in this, such as a book getting stuck in Lance's throat or a huge stone football thrown into his mouth.
* DisproportionateRetribution: Dr. Neurosis ''really'' wants Lance dead...all because he was called an "average" mad scientist.
* DistractedByTheSexy: Fritz while looking at Vivi.
** Also, Lance... but only for a short while, as she stuffs his mouth with his baseball cap right after seducing him.
* DodgeTheBullet: This game combines it with DeadlyDodging in the final battle.
* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything[=/=]ICantBelieveItsNotHeroin: Lance gets fatally poisoned by an evil MushroomMan in the maze in one death scene. It could fall between these, GettingCrapPastTheRadar, and ''[[{{Pun}} Mushroom]]'' [[MushroomSamba Samba]].
* TheDoorSlamsYou: This happens to the centipede in the wine cellar, except that when it chases Lance towards the exit, he opens the door and intentionally slams it into its face, putting it out of commission.
* TheDragon: Fritz again.
* EatenAlive: Quite a common death sequence. Fritz will eat Lance in several scenes when he catches him; two separate fates along this line occur within seconds of each other in Vivi's Salon (a ridiculously tiny spider will swallow Lance whole if he doesn't blow it away, and Vivi will be unable to resist draining his blood if he waits too long to choose a shave, manicure, or facial); two wrong paths in the maze can lead to Lance being devoured by a mutant frog or a carnivorous plant...
* EpicFail: During the Vivi's Salon scene in which Fritz escapes from the spiked coffin, he puts on a spiked arm with a switch,[[note]]after which you can escape death by the Beautifier[[/note]] but just as Fritz is charging at Lance, he '''trips over a skull.'''
* EverythingTryingToKillYou: Everything from the spiders on the wall to the trophies in the hallway.
* EvilIsHammy: Dr. Neurosis tends to shout whenever he gets irritated or scared.
* EvilIsNotWellLit: In the final confrontation, where the room is entirely in darkness, and only the tiny pillars of light are seen, as well as Dr. Neurosis, Fritz, and Lance.
* EyePop: Fritz gets this reaction [[WheresTheKaboom when he sees that Lance is still alive,]] [[TooDumbToLive unaware that he has been tricked into looking into the cannon]].
* EyeScream: At the beginning of the game, Lance pokes Fritz's eyes, prompting him to cover them.... too bad that he has {{Hook Hand}}s.
** Also, in one death scene, Fritz will approach Lance from behind, poke him in both eyes with his hooks, and proceed to rip him apart vertically, putting new meaning to the words "splitting headache".
* FacePlant: Lance does this on the chopping block table in a dead faint after his hand gets chopped off by Vivi.
* FacialHorror[=/=]SkullForAHead: Exaggerated: if Lance can't escape the Beautifier in Vivi's Salon, the mechanical powder puffs will close in on his head, screw it up, and turn it into a skull!
* {{Family Unfriendly Death}}s: This game's got ''a whole [[{{Pun}} mess]]'' of them, and almost all of them that happen to Lance are graphic and [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids family-unfriendly]]. [[BloodlessCarnage Neither bloody nor gory]], but family-unfriendly nonetheless.
* FantasyKitchenSink: You've got a haunted mansion owned by your [[RunningGag average]] MadScientist bent on world domination, and full of his creations - including a giant robotic statue in the hedge maze and his own spin on Frankenstein's Monster. In the hallways, you've got ghosts, walking skeletons, giant man-eating worms, and a stove with sentient fire. The maze has living man-eating plants. There's a vampire running a hair salon in the basement, and man-eating broom-riding witches in the towers. It's a little surprising there isn't some kind of man-eating sea monster in the sewers.
* FeetFirstIntroduction: When Lance stumbles into Vivi's Salon and gets up, the first thing he sees is her neon purple high-heeled shoes before the camera pans up from her legs to her GagBoobs, and finally to a close-up of Vivi herself, [[TheMirrorShowsYourTrueSelf looking at her facial mirror]].
* FireBreathingWeapon[=/=]KillItWithFire: Fritz uses the flamethrower to charbroil Lance's head in one death scene. And as if that wasn't enough, the imp reappears to blow on the charbroiled skull, rendering it like dust in the wind.
* FiveBadBand:
** The BigBad - Dr. Nero Neurosis
** TheDragon - Fritz
** TheBrute - Moose
** The DarkChick - Vivi
** The [[EvilGenius Evil Wizards]] - [[PaletteSwap The Blue and Orange Witches]]
* FlayingAlive[=/=]GenuineHumanHide: Fritz does this in one death scene in the stairs by pulling off Lance's scalp with his HookHand and ''using said scalp as a hat!''
** Another death scene shows Fritz cutting off Lance's scalp with his sword or razor blade, making it fall off and exposing his brain.
*** If you look closely, the lairs of the two witches are both adorned with lots of rugs and coverings and even wallpaper made out of human skins stitched together haphazardly.
* {{Foreshadowing}}[=/=]RuleOfSymbolism: During the intro, while Lance's voice speaks to Fritz about his computer problems, there is a purple spider in the darkness that is chasing an inchworm with big eyes and red hair, seemingly devouring it before it returns to life and gets chased by said spider again. This definitely foreshadows the whole ChaseScene, as the purple spider symbolizes Fritz, and the inchworm symbolizes our hero himself.
* FourFingeredHands: Lance has them by example, along with other characters.
* FreezeFrameBonus: One of the many things that fly out of Fritz's coat when he's falling down the stairs is a porno mag with Vivi's (clothed) breasts adorned on the cover.
** Also, if Lance can't make a choice in Vivi's Salon quick enough, Vivi will quickly expose his neck ([[ShirtlessScene and his bare chest and man nipples for a bonus!]]) before sucking his blood!
** If you look closely before Vivi shoves Lance's hat in his mouth, you can see that he's making a quick glance at her breasts, and with a smile.
* {{Gainaxing}}: Vivi.
* GameBreakingBug: In the 3DO port, pre-Version 1.1, when you chose the shave in Vivi's Funeral Salon, just when she was about to [[OffWithHisHead cut off your head]] with her SinisterScythe... all of a sudden the game would turn black and you would just get sent back to the Main Menu screen for no reason other than a glitch. Nervous Nick of Website/{{ScrewAttack}} even lampshades this in his review of the 3DO port.
* GardenOfEvil: The hedge maze is a garden that is full of vines that pull you into the deadly bushes. Some even ''[[StrippedToTheBone rip your entire skeleton off your body]]!''
* {{GASP}}: Lance does this painfully and in fright when he sees that one of the giant worms in the SpookySilentLibrary has burrowed its way through his chest in one death scene.
* GenreSavvy: The other reason why Lance is and keeps being alive.
* GettingCrapPastTheRadar: The deaths are really violent for a K-A rated game. There's also the issue with the buxom vampire lady... Also, see FreezeFrameBonus above.
* GirlWithPsychoWeapon: Vivi. Just when you think she can do a manicure as in "treatment for fingernails", she uses the word "manicure" as in "[[AnArmAndALeg cutting off people's hands]] with a [[KnifeNut butcher knife]]", which she has! Yikes!
* GretzkyHasTheBall: Most of Moose's dialogue. Prompted this exchange in a review:
--> '''Moose:''' "Alright, squirt! Third down, bases are loaded, and we're pullin' the goalie!"
--> '''Reviewer:''' [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments "That... didn't make any sense."]]
* GroinAttack: After Lance [[spoiler: jumps from the tower when [[FrankensteinsMonster Moose]] [[ShockAndAwe becomes blown up by becoming overloaded by]] [[ChainLightning lightning]]]], he lands on a statue by the groin.
** This will also occur if you press left twice to run away from Moose after Fritz pulls you and him both up to the top of the lightning tower.
* GuideDangIt: Played straight in the MS-DOS version and other gaming console ports. Though you can try and {{subvert|edTrope}} this in the [=iOS=] port by turning on the move guide in the "Settings" screen, which allows you to [[NoticeThis quickly press the appropriate button as soon as it lights up in certain areas]], helping you to guide Lance in the right direction, it still counts as a GuideDangIt if you press a lit button that [[DoubleSubversion turns out to be a wrong move]], especially in TheMaze and in certain boss battles that make the game UnwinnableByDesign if you run away from them.
* HalfTheManHeUsedToBe: In many death scenes Lance will be cut in half (vertically and horizontally) by Fritz.
* HardHead: Fritz. [[spoiler:During the confrontation on the [[ItsAllUpstairsFromHere stairs]], Lance uses [[DropTheHammer a big, strong iron hammer]] to whack Fritz on the head, which only makes him suffer a minor concussion until he gets up and chases him again.]] This is even lampshaded by Frankomatic.
* HatDamage: Happens when Lance is impaled by a pit of spikes in one death scene, as his own baseball cap, hair and all, is pierced by spikes.
** Somewhat averted in other death scenes, as no matter how many times he gets doused in acid or gets his skin and/or clothing torn off by thorns or some other means, his cap somehow survives intact, as if it's MadeOfIndestructium.
* TheHedgeOfThorns: This hedge of thorns has formed a giant maze, and they can be deadly: In one death scene, if Lance goes the wrong way, he will accidentally run into the thorny hedge and [[StrippedToTheBone come back out as a skeleton]]; in another, if he goes through the wrong gate and is trapped, a tentacle vine will grab him while he tries to get out and pull him into the hedge!
* HeroTrackingFailure: [[spoiler:The result of Lance's swift [[DodgeTheBullet bullet-dodging]] in [[DancingIsSeriousBusiness dance moves]] while TriggerHappy Fritz goes all-out on him in MoreDakka, which ends up hitting Neurosis and damaging him.]]
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: Both Vivi and Neurosis are defeated by their own attempts to kill Lance.
** During the stairs sequence, Lance picks up several of Fritz's weapons to use against him, including at least [[DropTheHammer two hammers]].
* HookHand: Fritz has ''two'', which he can replace with other weapons... like a ''chainsaw.''
* HugeRiderTinyMount: Inverted in Moose's scenario in that Lance is the tiny piggyback rider and Moose is the huge mount in a piggyback ride that involves a lot of dodging the deadly lightning rods.
* HyperspaceArsenal: Fritz. Just look at the image.
* IdiotHero: Computer technician Lance Galahad can be this, even in death scenes.
* TheIgor: Fritz.
* ImAHumanitarian: Several of the deaths involve Fritz eating Lance somehow. Also, the witches do this if you die in their rooms as well.
* ImMelting: In one death scene in the cocoon chamber, a spray of acid hits Lance's face, and it could be either Type A or Type D, but either of them results in his entire face and head melting (except for the eyeballs) along with his entire body, which melts away into nothingness at all.
* ImpactSilhouette: The result of Fritz's DeathFromAbove attack being easily avoided in the main entryway.
* ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice: Several of the deaths.
* ImpossibleHourglassFigure: Vivi.
* ImprobableWeaponUser: In one death Fritz messily kills Lance with what appears to be a spoon and an egg beater.
* ItsAllUpstairsFromHere: The battle with Fritz takes place on an extremely long set of stairs. Before the battle, Fritz falls down each and every step.
* JerkJock: Moose.
* KaizoTrap: A piano falls on you if you're not paying attention after the final boss. They don't even try to hide how spiteful it is.
* KilledMidSentence: This can occur in [[spoiler:the final confrontation, after [[ChekhovsGun the eyeballs]] fall from Lance's pocket, but you don't have him pick them up as he starts saying his PreAsskickingOneLiner]].
* KillerGorilla: There is one hairy white gorilla in the Trophy Room, and surprisingly, [[PaletteSwap it has the same atomic wedgie kill scene as Moose]]!
* LampshadeHanging: When he meets Dr. Neurosis, Lance mocks him for every MadScientist trope in the book. The doctor is not pleased.
** The entire rest of the game is really one big lampshade hanging for Horror and SciFi tropes as well.
* LastGraspAtLife: In one of the death scenes of the Giant Statue stage, after Lance falls into the AcidPool under the collapsing ground tile, which flies and lands back into the acid and crushes him, the camera cuts down to a close-up of his hands rising and clutching one tile as he tries in vain to pull himself out of the acid before one of them twitches and then becomes still.
* LetsPlay: [[http://www.youtube.com/user/Frankomatic#p/c/2396BB2546876B23/0/FUd6znEIXVI By Frankomatic.]]
* LightningCanDoAnything[=/=]ShockAndAwe: Several examples in Moose's scenario:
** Lance can [[ChainLightning power up the lightning rod]] in his attempts to destroy Moose. Of course, lightning from the rods can [[HarmlessElectrocution even kill Lance AND Moose]] if you're not careful.
** And, of course, even if Lance dies by electrocution or any other means of attack in Moose's scenario, the thunderbolt can bring our hero back to life in one resurrection scene. Lightning CAN do anything, indeed.
* LivingStatue: There is a giant statue at the end of the maze, and it will come up with nifty ways to kill Lance if he doesn't stop it.
* LongHairedPrettyBoy: Lance Galahad, oh so much.
* LoudGulp: When Lance is fighting the ghosts.
* MacGyvering[=/=][[SolidGoldPoop Solid Gold Snot]]: In the intro, Lance sees that the only way to fix Dr. Neurosis' computer is to find some connection on its core, like bubble gum. Failing that, Lance finds Fritz picking his own nose and uses his snot as a substitute. As soon as he fixes that, [[YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness all hell]] [[TakeOverTheWorld breaks loose]]!
* MadeOfPlasticine[=/=]CriticalExistenceFailure: In one death scene of [[spoiler:the final confrontation]], when Lance gets shot multiple times, one bullet goes through [[PrettyLittleHeadshots his forehead]], followed by many bullets that reduce him to swiss cheese and consume his entire body until he is nothing but his eyeballs that fall down.
* MadScientist: Neurosis. Lampshaded.
* {{Malaproper}}: Lance's "ItsPersonal" speech [[spoiler:in the final confrontation]], which has prompted this exchange in LetsPlay/ObscureGameTheatre's LetsPlay:
-->'''Lance:''' ''[to Dr. Neurosis]'' Hey, New-free!!! It's just me and you!!!\\
'''Frankomatic:''' Uh, "It's just you and me!" sounds better, Lance.
* MaleGaze: Vivi says she's a little bit "behind". Guess what's appearing onscreen a bit after she says it?
* ManEatingPlant: If Lance clings onto the hilt of the [[ProngsOfPoseidon Giant Statue's trident]] for too long, he'll get flung into the jaws of a yellow, vile plant that can swallow him in a gulp in one death scene.
* ManOnFire: Lance, in one death scene involving a furnace.
* TheManyDeathsOfYou: Tons and tons of ways to die. Of which only a third of them are shown [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cA4NREzWipI&feature=related in this video]]. The ways range from cartoony to very violent yet cartoony, such as Lance having his spine ripped out of his body.
* TheMaze: The first area of the garden in a hedge maze, where any and every wrong move equals death. The hallways themselves can be thought of as mazes, though it's really more of an exploration thing: unless you're too slow, you won't be penalized for going the wrong way.
* MeaningfulName[=/=]ThemeNaming: Lance's last name, Galahad, has an English origin that means "pure, noble and selfless", and named after one of KingArthur's Knights of the Round Table. The first name of Dr. Nero Neurosis, likewise, has a Latin origin that means "powerful", named after the Roman Emperor Nero; and his last name is derived from a mental disorder, less severe than psychosis, marked by anxiety or fear. No wonder this mad scientist wants to rule the world with an iron fist.
* TheMirrorShowsYourTrueSelf: Vivi has no reflection, revealing that she is a vampire. Not like this wasn't obvious before.
* {{Mooning}}: [[spoiler:One of Lance's cool dance moves in the final confrontation. Except that his hairy butt is just... {{squick}}y.]]
* MorallyAmbiguousDoctorate: Dr. Neurosis.
* MrFixit: In the intro, Lance is adamant at fixing computers, and sees that the way to fix one computer is by using [[MacGyvering bubble gum]] for connection on its core... or at least [[SolidGoldPoop a snotty substitute]]. [[YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness Unfortunately, all this is slowly and suddenly]] [[TakeOverTheWorld going to hell...]]
* MsFanservice: Vivi.
* MundaneMadeAwesome: The first thing that Lance manages to avoid death in Vivi's Salon is... by ''blowing away a tiny spider that would have swallowed him whole with a deadly bite!''
* MushroomMan: Lance will encounter these mushroom people in the garden maze in one death scene, and without warning, one of them will jump up so high, it will explode and spray him with its spores that can cause little mushrooms to sprout all over his body. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VkLRm1HrBQ This video explains it all.]]]
* TheNameIsBondJamesBond: Dr. Nero Neurosis introduces himself to Lance in this manner after getting his computer fixed in the intro.
* NeverBareheaded: Averted in Vivi's Salon, when Vivi grabs Lance's [[NiceHat baseball cap]] and uses it as a [[BoundAndGagged gag]] to ensure that he can't scream during the painful "makeover".
** Also averted in some death scenes.
* NeverSayDie: Averted in the intro when the word is "kill", [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids even for a K-A rated game]].
* NeverSmileAtACrocodile: If you go to the kitchen in another way, there is a crocodile wearing chef's garb and holding a meat cleaver. And it can [[OffWithHisHead chop off Lance's head]] and make it fly and land on his neck in an upside-down position in one death scene.
* NintendoHard
* [[NoAnimalsWereHarmed No Cartoon Characters Were Maimed or Mutilated During the Making of This Game]]: At least that's what it says in the box art's back cover of the PlayStation version.
* NonDubbedGrunts: Evident in the Japanese dub and all other foreign language dubs of the game, especially with Lance's laughter; his muffled speech when he is gagged by Vivi; and his dying groans, grunts, and screams in death scenes. Also evident is Fritz's [[TheUnintelligible unintelligible gibberish]], which is so obvious that other game programmers around the world didn't need another foreign language speaking voice actor to do the dubbing for Fritz.
* NotNowKiddo: Happens in Vivi's Funeral Salon, when Vivi asks Lance if he's in a hurry and he answers, "Yeah, lady, there's this freak of nature chasing me and--" but she shushes him by wrapping the spider web barber cloth around him and telling him to wait until later. Just then, Fritz, whom Lance referred to as the "freak of nature" who's coming after him, stumbles into the same salon, catching Lance's and Vivi's attention.
* OffWithHisHead: In some scenes when Lance's head gets cut off or knocked off or torn off or bitten off. Of course, this becomes [[PullingThemselvesTogether Pulling Himself Together]] by his head rejoining itself to his body thanks to the power of resurrection.
* OhCrap: Fritz when he realizes what Lance was doing with the carpet...
** Also, Lance gets this look in the intro when he discovers that he has put Neurosis' "rage" in our hero's "average" and that Fritz is ordered to [[DisproportionateRetribution kill him for calling the mad scientist "average"]].
*** Though Neurosis ''was'' going to have Fritz kill him anyway...
* OurGhostsAreDifferent[=/=]JacobMarleyApparel: These haunted ghosts wear nooses around their necks in the bedroom and can [[VampiricDraining drain the living soul out of Lance]] and [[RapidAging rapidly age him to death]]!
** Also, there is a JackTheRipper ghost who uses this SinisterScythe to slice off Lance's face!
* OverlyLongGag: Fritz falling down the stairs.
* PaintingTheMedium: If Lance gets killed during the {{sword|Fight}}-and-{{chainsaw|Good}} fight, pieces of Lance's skin will fly and land onto the camera. Messy!
* PaletteSwap: The blue witch and the orange witch are the exact same battle, except everything is flipped horizontally and the witches' palettes are swapped.
** The [[KillerGorilla white gorilla]] in the trophy room uses the exact same wedgie kill scene as Moose.
** Also, the giant snake in the maze has the same wraparound and head-biting attack as the centipede in the basement.
** Another one can be found with the acid-spitting death by a dragon in the Trophy Room, which is the same as the one used by the Giant Statue in the Garden.
* PianoDrop: Works as a KaizoTrap near the very end of the game, but it can be avoided if you wait until the last possible moment... which is the right moment to press any button and escape.
* PiggybackCute: A non-romantic example in that Lance is the cute rider on piggyback while FrankensteinsMonster JerkJock Moose is the vile, ugly mount who tries getting him off yet gets blinded and ridden like a horse while playing "dodge the deadly lightning rods".
* PointyEars: Vivi has them by example.
* PowerWalk: Lance has a pretty badass one when entering Dr. Neurosis's quarters.
* [[PreAsskickingOneLiner Pre-Asskicking]][=/=]PreMortemOneLiner: Done twice:
** [[spoiler:During the dancing moves, while bullets are shooting at Lance, the eyeballs fall out of his pocket, then he gets an idea by picking them up and delivering a PreAsskickingOneLiner to Fritz:]]
--->[[spoiler:'''Lance:''' Hey! Time to punch out!]]
** [[spoiler:And after shoving Fritz into the jar where Neurosis is, our hero delivers one more badass line before pressing the "flush" button:]]
--->[[spoiler:'''Lance:''' Hey, guyyys! Game's over.]]
*** It may be noted that in the Japanese release, [[spoiler: Lance simply says, in a bit of a whisper, [[{{Woolseyism}} "Sayonara."]]]] [[invoked]]
* PressXToNotDie: You'll be doing this quite a lot from the very start. Some of the actions that you do can lead to bad moves, resulting in PressXToDie.
* PrettyLittleHeadshots: Lance can die from a shot to the forehead, followed by multiple bullet holes that [[CriticalExistenceFailure reduce his entire body to eyeballs]], if you're not quick enough [[spoiler:during the final confrontation]].
* ProngsOfPoseidon: The [[LivingStatue giant statue]] at the end of the maze has a giant one that can impale Lance if he's not quick or careful.
* PsychoForHire: Fritz. Also, possibly Vivi, since she's given no real motivation besides apparently enjoying killing anyone who steps in her shop.
* PsychopathicManchild: Moose.
* {{Public Domain|Soundtrack}} SoundtrackDissonance: In the Conservatory Room, as Lance tries to avoid getting strangled by [[DemonicDummy Mongo the Marionette]] or pounced upon by Fritz, the music played [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=munJ_A-f9TY#t=00m44s here]] kinda sounds like [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2ISRMSIyX8 "The Trepak Dance"]] from ''Theatre/TheNutcracker'' by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.
* [[PullingThemselvesTogether Pulling Himself Together]]: Lance does this in miraculous ways in some scenes whenever he loses a limb, like [[AnArmAndALeg his hand]] or [[OffWithHisHead his head]]. Heck, there's even one resurrection scene that has the pieces of his body falling on top of each other and reconnecting him if he dies in the confrontation with Fritz.
* PunBasedTitle[=/=]GoryDeadlyOverkillTitleOfFatalDeath: This game is called ''Brain Dead 13'' for a reason: it takes place in Dr. Neurosis' castle, which is located at "13 Brain Dead Avenue", for those who haven't seen the intro. It can also be a DoubleMeaningTitle when it involves an evil scientist BrainInAJar and [[TheManyDeathsOfYou the many death scenes of Lance Galahad]]. {{A|rsonMurderAndJaywalking}}lso, ThirteenIsUnlucky for Lance and the player.
* RantInducingSlight: Neurosis goes into a rage when Lance calls him "average."
* RapidAging: Lance definitely dies from this if one of the ghosts possesses him and drains the living soul out of him in one death scene.
* RecordNeedleScratch: This occurs whenever you pause the game.
* RedEyesTakeWarning: When Vivi is prepared for a VampiricDraining of Lance in one death scene.
* RedHeadedHero: Lance.
* ResurrectiveImmortality: Oh yes! Lance has this from the very start, up to the very end of the game[[note]]since you have an infinite amount of lives[[/note]]... no matter how many times he gets decapitated, mutilated, doused in acid, etc.
* RiseFromYourGrave: In one of Lance's many death-and-resurrection sequences.
* SayMyName: Dr. Neurosis tends to shout Fritz's name a lot, especially in the final confrontation.
* ScaledUp: There is a giant snake that can wrap around Lance and eat him up at the maze if you're not quick enough.
* ScreamDiscretionShot: In one of the death scenes, at the sound of a gong, Lance looks up and becomes shocked as Fritz pounces on him and they both go offscreen. Fritz's arm is then raised up onscreen before it turns on the egg beater, and Lance's scream is heard before Fritz's arm goes back offscreen. The scream is still heard as bits of Lance's hair fly up before fluttering back down. When all of the screaming is done, Lance gets back up heavily damaged and battered, [[ClothingDamage his shirt ripped up]], and going bald in black eyes, lasting for a few seconds before Fritz's hook pulls him back down offscreen to finish the job.
* SensibleHeroesSkimpyVillains: Played straight in Vivi's Funeral Salon in that Lance, the bumbling hero, is fully clothed, while Vivi is a big-breasted villainess in a black, skimpy, [[BareYourMidriff midriff-baring]] outfit.
* SerialEscalation: How many weapons does Fritz have? How insane can the castle's residents get?
* ShirtlessScene: Well, temporarily: If Lance can't make a choice of either a shave, manicure or facial quick enough, Vivi will quickly hold his head to her side and pull down both his spider web barber cloth and his shirt, exposing not just his neck, but also his bare chest and his man nipples (!), [[VampiricDraining before taking a bite and draining him of blood]]!
* ShoutOut: In one scene when Vivi cuts off Lance's hand and makes him wince in pain, she acts all innocent and says, [[Series/FamilyMatters "Awww, did I do that?"]] in an Urkel-like tone of voice before he goes into shock and dies (he gets better, though). She also says the same thing after she [[OffWithHisHead cuts off his head]] in a DangerouslyCloseShave.
** In one crossroads path scene, Lance will get surrounded by a shark fin that circles around him, and then get pulled downward and eaten up... by Fritz, disguised as a shark and wearing a "crying baby" bib, in homage to ''Film/{{Jaws}}''.
** The giant {{bat|OutOfHell}} playfully chewing on Lance's head in the Trophy Room's (rather kid-friendly) death scene is a slight parody of when Music/OzzyOsbourne would bite off a bat's head on stage.
** The whole final confrontation sequence, which takes place entirely in the dark, is a nod to the start of Magus' first confrontation scene in ''VideoGame/ChronoTrigger''; and the dancing sequence in the shootout is a nod to {{Disco}} and its dance moves, the songs like Music/TheBeeGees' "Stayin' Alive" and Music/VillagePeople's "Y.M.C.A.", and the moves homages to those from ''Film/TheKarateKid'' and ''Film/{{Platoon}}'', and other films.
* SimonSaysMiniGame: The deadly "[[AnArmAndALeg manicure]]" scene is probably this... sort of. And you can tell by the way Vivi's clumsy fingers point in the direction of her next strike of her butcher knife on the chopping block table after her previous, failed one, which tells you that you have to quickly move Lance's hand away at the ''opposite'' direction of the way she swings the knife to avoid getting his hand chopped off. For example, if her finger points ''right'' on her first failed attempt, his hand must move ''left'' on her next attempt. The next sequence follows: Her finger --> down, his hand --> up; her finger --> left, his hand --> right; etc. After her repeated failed attempts, she will tire and say, "Hmmm... this don't look very sharp," thus ending the "manicure".
* SlidingScaleOfLinearityVsOpenness: Level 3. Unlike VideoGame/SpaceAce or VideoGame/DragonsLair, navigating the castle is part of the game, and it's not only possible but easy to find yourself in previously visited areas.
* SouthernBelle: Vivi.
* SpidersAreScary: During the Vivi's Salon sequence, after she tosses Fritz in a spiked coffin, there is a tiny spider that is scary enough to swallow Lance whole with a deadly bite if he doesn't blow it away.
** GiantSpider: And speaking of spiders, there is a giant one in the Wine Cellar (where the {{Creepy Centipede|s}} is), and it can use its web shots and poisonous bite to bind and kill Lance if he doesn't watch out.
* SpikesOfDoom: Lance can fall into a spike trap hidden by leaves on the ground and get impaled in one death scene if you take the wrong way in TheMaze.
* SpookySilentLibrary: With a ScaryLibrarian that can ''literally'' throw a few books at Lance! And [[BigCreepyCrawlies giant worms]] who can burrow into Lance and eat away at his chest and back!
* SpotlightStealingSquad: Fritz. Definitely Fritz. He even has a spot in the above box art which says "[[AndStarring Starring Fritz]]". Not bad for a {{Determinator}} maniac who is so hell-bent on using so many ways to kill Lance.
* SquashedFlat: Happens in one death scene when the giant LivingStatue squashes Lance with its big hand and spreads his... paint mess... on its body. This will also happen if Lance doesn't dodge Moose's shoulder charge.
* StatuesqueStunner: Vivi.
* StealthPun: You encounter flesh devouring worms in the library. The only speaking person there makes no comment on this.
** Also, it's either this or a VisualPun, but when Vivi wraps Lance up in a spider web barber cloth, she says, "Snug as a bug," when he is like a bug who is caught in a spider web, and is mistaken for a bug a little later by a tiny spider who grabs his face and swallows him whole in a death scene.
*** In another death scene of the same scenario, Vivi uses a scythe to [[OffWithHisHead chop off both Lance's head]] and [[TraumaticHaircut his long red hair]] in a DangerouslyCloseShave... which is somehow a pun on "ShaveAndAHairCut", a piece that was used to end a musical tune... and this is pretty much her finishing move in a death scene.
* StrippedToTheBone: In some scenes when Lance gets... in a {{squick}}y manner... reduced to a skeletal pile of bones, like getting doused in acid, or getting pulled apart from his skin in a two-way manner by Fritz! Of course, being as BadassNormal and GenreSavvy as our hero is, he revives from being a pile of bones, back to being flesh and blood.
* SugarWiki/SuperlativeDubbing: The SegaSaturn port of the game (at least in the European and Japanese releases) is given a highly selective dubbing, which retains all the NonDubbedGrunts from the original voice actors, even when it appears in the same clip that has the verbal voice acting. One example is the Japanese dub, which is pretty well done, even though it may contain bits of {{Woolseyism}}. Compare the original version of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MFzXoBzHZg the intro]] and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0LPEbjisWI Vivi's Funeral Salon]] to the Japanese dub of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adBpHQ8C7V4 the]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJOkOEzhdGg intro]] and of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4OyEw7-QLE Vivi's Funeral Salon]].
** Another example is the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAo5XmyRmn8 German]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzW4ZdRTtFA dub]] of the game, which sounds a bit mediocre than the original. And another example is the French dub, which looks okay ([[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I6GKbrOvUA the]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkjhjZ_Dgqc intro]] is another example in this French dub).
* SuperRugPull: Lance uses this on Fritz in the penultimate confrontation. He sees Fritz at the top of a [[ItsAllUpstairsFromHere huge staircase]] and gives the rug at the bottom a mighty pull. The rug shockwave travels up the entirety of the stairs as Lance and Fritz watch (with smugness and curiosity, respectively) until it hits Fritz, who then [[OverlyLongGag falls down the entirety of the stairs.]] As the LetsPlay/ObscureGameTheatre says, the only way Lance would have tried that would be if [[GenreSavvy he knew he was in a cartoon, and fighting a cartoon.]]
* TakeOverTheWorld: Dr. Neurosis' overall plan. This is [[LampshadeHanging one of the things mocked by Lance]].
* TakeThatKiss: [[spoiler:Lance makes one, coupled with a BadassArmFold, to show Fritz that he is not afraid and to dare him to give it all he's got, though our hero is still brave in the face of certain death.]]
* ThirteenIsUnlucky: The game title. Also, it can be unlucky because of the many death scenes.
* ThreateningShark: In this case, Fritz, disguised as one, in one of Lance's death scenes.
* ThrowTheBookAtThem: One of the [[EverythingTryingToKillYou many, many things trying to kill]] Lance is a [[ScaryLibrarian skeleton in the library]], who tosses lethal books.
* TiredOfRunning: [[spoiler:In the final confrontation with Dr. Neurosis, Lance is faced by Fritz, who wants to unleash TriggerHappy terror upon him by unloading every weapon he's got. Of course, Lance can have a choice of running away again by pressing right first or by pressing left twice, but that would only waste more time in endless chasing. The solution? Lance has to move left once, and ''then'' right, in order to show Fritz and Neurosis that our hero is tired of running away, then makes a BadassArmFold and a TakeThatKiss to show that he is not afraid and is ready for one more challenge that awaits him.]]
* TooDumbToLive: Fritz at times, particularly the intro cutscene, where Lance tricks him into thinking his cannon arm had already fired by yelling "BOOM," after which he ''looks into the barrel'' to see if it worked and gets shot in the face. It's a good thing he's practically unkillable, huh?
* TotallyRadical: Lance, but it's surprisingly subtle.
* TraumaticHaircut: Combined with DangerouslyCloseShave: In one death scene, Vivi the {{vampires|AreSexGods}}s gives Lance one of the "OffWithHisHead" variety, when she uses the SinisterScythe to chop off his {{long|HairedPrettyBoy}} {{red|HeadedHero}} hair and also his head. ''Truly'' painful and traumatizing [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids even for children]].
* TrenchcoatWarfare: Though not an actual trenchcoat, Fritz invokes this with his vest at several points, including the cover.
* TrialAndErrorGameplay
* TheTrickster: Lance. And he plays a few ones on Fritz from the very beginning.
* TheUnintelligible: Fritz.
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: Lance is pretty blasť about going to an ancient macabre-looking castle to fix a large antiquated computer at the center of a laboratory straight out of an old horror movie. And he's completely unimpressed by the evil talking brain and its plans for world conquest.
* UnwinnableByDesign: If you accidentally run from any of the "big three," then you can't see the ending without restarting.
* VampiresAreSexGods: Vivi.
* VampiricDraining: Vivi will do this to Lance if he doesn't make a choice of either a shave, manicure, or facial quick enough. And the result is downright unpleasant: though over in a split-second, we see Lance visibly shrivelled into a mummy-like state as a result of her appetite.
** Also, the ghosts with [[JacobMarleyApparel nooses around their necks]] will possess Lance and drain the living soul out of him!
* VillainOpeningScene: The intro starts at Dr. Neurosis' castle, where bats fly and Fritz is summoned by Neurosis to get Lance to fix his computer and then dispose of him so that the villain can succeed in [[TakeOverTheWorld Taking Over the World]].
* VillainousBreakdown: Fritz's patience begins to visibly wear thin as you progress through timing events where he's the danger. [[spoiler: He finally snaps at the end, unloading upon Lance with every ranged weapon he has while blindly charging at our hero. This tunes out Neurosis' demands and pleas for him to stop since he's slowly destroying the doctor's jar in the process.]]
* WheresTheKaboom: How Lance tricks [[TooDumbToLive Fritz into looking at the cannon]].
* {{Wicked Witch}}es: The twin witches. ''Duh!''
* AWinnerIsYou: [[spoiler:After watching the explosion in Dr. Neurosis' castle, Lance says, "Cool! Back to work!" then makes an AirGuitar of victory and drives away in his truck before the camera pans overhead to a bat that has awoken from its slumber and flies off.]]
* WomanInBlack: Again, the [[VampiresAreSexGods charming, sexy vampiress]] Vivi.
* XRaySparks: Both Lance and Moose suffer from this in one death scene involving one of the deadly lightning rods, and both bodies become gray and blink their eyes a bit before they become dust.
* YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness: Half the reason why Neurosis wants Lance dead. The other half being that Lance called Neurosis an "average mad scientist".
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