This troper was born onto this [[CrapsackWorld messed-up mudball]] on November 6, 1972. He is an aspiring professional poker player, a metal-head, a Libertarian voter, a person who likes anime but isn't a full-blown otaku, and many other things that will be elaborated below.

Tropes applicable to me include, but are not necessarily limited to, the following:

[[folder:Straight Tropes]]
* {{Angrish}}: Often happens when I'm doing badly at one video game or another.
* AveMachina, LivingForeverIsAwesome: Transhumanism FTW, baby! If I were to gain the ability to [[BreakingTheFourthWall physically enter a fictional world]] a la ''Last Action Hero'' or ''Purple Rose of Cairo'', my first choice would easily be the world of ''GhostInTheShell''. Having an artificial body that has all the sensory capability of an organic one and then some, that has a flawless long-term memory, that never ages, that can be built to practically any specifications I want, and that, if it does get irreparably damaged, can be easily replaced? What the hell ''isn't there'' to love? Being able to [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean practice close-quarters combat]] with [[PerverseSexualLust The Major]] would be merely the proverbial icing on the cake.
* BrilliantButLazy: If I'd only done my homework consistently in high school, I'd have been a lock for class valedictorian. As it was, though, since I already did a more than adequate job of learning the subject matter in the classroom itself, homework was seen as pointlessly boring. That situation didn't stop my teachers from counting my lack of homework against me, though, and I wound up with a measly C+ average.
* ChaoticNeutral: I took four different online [[DungeonsAndDragons D&D]] alignment tests on different occasions. The results were: strongly Chaotic Good (once), strongly Chaotic Neutral (once), and Chaotic Neutral with some Evil tendencies (twice). I chalk the latter up to yet another example of ValuesDissonance. Whereas the standard D&D alignment system assumes "altruism = good, selfishness = evil", I, like [[AynRand certain authors]], am not afraid to admit that selfishness not only isn't always wrong, but is often right. Yes, I often do good things for others, but I always keep in mind that seeing other people happy ''makes ME feel good'' (this is especially true during sex, where about 90% of my pleasure is gained from making sure my partner/s is/are being pleased as much as they can tolerate).
* DeadpanSnarker
* {{Discontinuity}}: There is not, and never was, any such place as Yberia.
* DoingItForTheArt: This will be the case for any form of entertainment I ever get published, regardless of the medium on which it is delivered.
* DroppedABridgetOnHim: My [[RapunzelHair long hair]] has caused the occasional person standing behind me to call me "ma'am".
* EvilLaugh: Get to know me better, and I might just let you hear it one day.
* FurryFandom: I've never been to a furry convention, and have never done any real-life furry cosplaying, but I still like furry artwork.
* GoingCommando: I haven't worn underwear of any kind for the last 20 years or so.
* NoBloodTies: The fact that I see this trope as a good thing, and most of the rest of the world doesn't, is the main reason why I am quite happily childless.
* NotAMorningPerson: Barring important appointments, my day often ''ends'' at around 06:00.
* PosterGalleryBedroom: To a lesser degree, the rest of my apartment qualifies as well. The posters and wall scrolls adorning the walls cover a variety of western cartoons, movies, anime, and video games spanning the last two decades.
* ProudToBeAGeek
* PungeonMaster: True on a good day, once I really get rolling.
* RaisedByGrandparents: This was true for the first 12 and a half years of my life, after which I moved across the country to live with my mother and step-father.
* RapunzelHair: I've had quite long hair for most of my adult life, at least down to the middle of my back. However, as the years move on, nature is beginning to subvert this trope against my will. ''* le sigh* ''
* SpecialSnowflakeSyndrome: My RPG characters have a tendency to fall into this category. Hell, in [[DungeonsAndDragons D&D Edition 3.5]], pretty much my sole reason for playing a human is for the bonus feat and bonus skill points. In fact, when 3rd Edition was initially released, the very first character I created was a dwarf wizard, for no other reason than that the rules finally allowed it.
* TheGodsMustBeLazy: I've been a deist for pretty much my whole life, despite not knowing until sometime in my early twenties that the term "deism" even existed. In my opinion, it's one thing to believe that the universe (or, at the very least, the staggering array of lifeforms on this planet) may have been created by an intelligent being. On the other hand, believing that said being would care even ''one-tenth'' as much about us puny humans as various religions proclaim--what we eat, what clothing we wear (if any), on what days we work, with whom we have sex, and so on--[[YourMileageMayVary is just plain silly]].
* TwoferTokenMinority: Threefer, actually. Bisexual, non-theistic, and mildly (but noticeably) physically disabled.
* ValuesDissonance: And friggin' ''how!''
* WouldHitAGirl: Women, if you want to be considered the equal of us men (which I gladly support), be prepared to accept ''all'' the consequences of equal opportunity, not [[DoubleStandard just the good ones]]. I don't get into fights often; however, if you're female, and successfully provoke a fight with me, I won't give you even a tiny shred of mercy above and beyond what a male adversary would get.
[[/folder]]

Tropes that I subvert on a regular basis include, but are not necessarily limited to, the following:

[[folder:Subverted Tropes]]
* {{Acrofatic}}: I stand 5 feet, 8 inches tall and weigh (at the time of this edit) about 300 pounds. I can walk, and during an urgent situation, I can walk fast, but due to certain physical issues that I've dealt with since birth, that's about the full extent of my athletic ability.
* BasementDweller: You might have expected otherwise from reading many of the other tropes listed here, but I've been on my own since BillClinton was still a governor.
* CovertPervert: Ain't nothin' covert about it, baby. ''* wicked grin* ''
* LongHairedPrettyBoy: As I've already mentioned, I do have the hair for this. Also, I believe that beauty comes in packages of all shapes and sizes (Mmm. [[ProfessionalWrestling Bull Nakano]]. ''[[DistractedByTheSexy * pant, pant, drool* ]]''), and have never had any self-esteem issues regarding my own weight. However, if I'm to have any chance at being the one who gets mobbed by a horde of squeeing fangirls at an anime convention, I'll have to lose at least 70 pounds, and do it before I start getting old and wrinkly.
* RageQuit: Subverted considerably more often than not.
* SiblingRivalry: Averted, since I have no siblings.
[[/folder]]

Then, there are other tropes of a specific category, numerous enough to warrant their own respective sections on this page:

[[folder:Food Tropes]]
* BigEater: I like food, and it typically likes me.
* BlazingInfernoHellfireSauce: What most Americans outside of Texas call "hot", I call "mild". What ''* I* '' call "hot", they call "friggin' lethal".
* BlessedAreTheCheesemakers: Oh, '''hell yes!'''
* DrinkOrder: Depends on the nature of the drink.
** (Soft Drinks) Mountain Dew if that's available; otherwise, root beer.
** (Beer) Stout, preferably Guinness. Sorry, fellow Americans, but if one can pour it into a clean, clear glass, and still see anything ''through'' the glass, ''it DOES NOT truly qualify as beer''.
** (Harder Stuff) Jack Daniel's, please, and make it a double.
** (GargleBlaster) Not my usual fare, but I'm not averse to trying one, either.
* MustHaveCaffeine: Ain't ''that'' the goddamn truth.
* RealMenEatMeat: Vegetarians, I respect your right to live your lives as you see fit. That having been said, vegetarianism is something of a turn-off for me. Not a severe turn-off, but a turn-off just the same. My cave-dwelling ancestors ''did NOT'' battle their way to the top of this planet's food chain so that I could [[strike:live on]] subsist on tofu and sprouts, thankyouverymuch.
* StockYuck: Subverted with fruit cake (which I like), blue cheese (I'd eat at least a half-pound every week if it weren't so hideously expensive), and especially anchovies (can't get enough of 'em on pizza, if I'm fortunate enough to be ordering pizza from somewhere that even has 'em). Played straight with cream cheese (the one and only kind of cheese I have never really liked), and especially diet soda and decaf coffee (without the caffeine in either beverage, and without the sugar in the soda, what's the damn point?).
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Love, Sex, and Other Erotic Things]]
* ArousedByTheirVoice: Several of my long-distance acquaintances have had this happen to them when we've chatted on the phone.
* BiTheWay: On the Kinsey Scale, I'm somewhere around 2.
* BrainsAndBondage: I'm mostly a top, but I'll gladly switch roles for/with the right woman.
* EthicalSlut: The word "open" in "open relationship" does not apply solely to one's bedroom door. Communication and honesty are essential even in monogamous relationships. When polyamory and/or swinging comes into play, the need for such things increases exponentially.
* EveryoneIsBi, FreeLoveFuture: If I were approached by a genie, or some other entity with the power to grant wishes on a godlike level, and informed that "you can choose one of these two tropes to immediately and permanently apply to the entire human race, but ''ONLY'' one", I would have a serious dilemma on my hands.
* FidelityTest: On the off chance I spring one of these on someone, it'll be very much inverted. Keeping your pants/skirt/etc. ''on'' = automatic failure.
* HaremSeeker: My ideal poly relationship would consist of: [[LoveDodecahedron myself, one other man, and two women]] as long-term partners, with various one-night stands as circumstances permit (not that said circumstances would necessarily occur very often with four of us living our lives under one roof; I'm just saying that it would never be rejected out of hand). Naturally, all four of us would be bi.
* HellBentForLeather: A beautiful woman clad in leather and/or latex is '''major''' FetishFuel for me. [[BikerBabe Motorcycle]], while a nice addition, is purely optional.
* HotAmazon: The ability of a woman to kick ass (including mine) in a fight is a significant turn-on for me. Faced with a choice of celebrity PSL (not that I enjoy having to choose), you can have your Christina Aguileras, Pamela Andersons, and Stacy Kieblers, Mr. Average Guy. I'll gladly take a Chyna, Mia St. John, Michelle Yeoh, or Ronda Rousey. Hell, given her desire to do practically all her stunt-work herself, Jennifer Garner would also qualify (assuming I were able to [[MurderTheHypotenuse do something about that pesky Ben fellow]]).
* {{Ladette}}: Not a requirement for a wife/girlfriend of mine, but it's a significant bonus.
* MyGirlIsASlut: Why would I ever ''want'' to turn a whore into a housewife? With the money she makes on her back, we could easily afford to [[CompletelyMissingThePoint hire a full-time housekeeper]] instead.
* NiceGuysFinishLast: All too common for me, it seems. ''* le sigh* ''
* {{Polyamory}}: Unlike the other turn-ons and turn-offs I mention on this page, this one is as mandatory as it gets. (BTW, before anyone asks...yes, I ''have'' given monogamy a fair try. Definitely not my thing. I'm happy for those people for whom it legitimately is their thing, but I really wish more people would take the time to figure that out ''for themselves'', as opposed to blindly assuming that monogamy is the only right choice for any sane person who never was a hippie.)
* SpurnedIntoSuicide: This once nearly happened to me. I'll elaborate sometime in the future.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:PerverseSexualLust]]

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Anime And Manga ]]

* GhostInTheShell: Major Motoko Kusanagi (the fact that she's voiced by MaryElizabethMcGlynn in the English dub doesn't hurt)

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Comic Books ]]

* TheSandman: I can't be the only one who'd love to have a [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean near-Death experience]].
* XMen: Emma Frost, Gambit (he and his native cuisine are ''both'' hot as hell, thankyouverymuch), Mystique (btw, did you know that Rebecca Romijn, who played Mystique in the movies, was also born on 6 Nov 1972?), Magneto (depends on who voices him)

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Live Action TV ]]

* XPlay: [[GamerChick Morgan Webb]]. That is all.
* XenaWarriorPrincess: [[EvilIsSexy Callisto]].

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Music ]]

* Doro Pesch, TarjaTurunen: I've already mentioned [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSnwt9-dS_o these two]] on the relevant [[TroperTales/PerverseSexualLustMusic troper tales page]].
* Former ''Music/ArchEnemy'' lead vocalist, Angela Gossow. For a prime example of VocalDissonance, click [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9AcG0glVu4 here]]. One can't help but wonder whether she exhibits that same vocal dissonance in the bedroom. On the down side (in [[YourMileageMayVary my opinion]], of course), Angela happens to be a vegetarian.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Real Life ]]

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Pretty much any character played by any of the following people qualifies for a spot here:
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* CateBlanchett: I'm not the one on the PSL Film Troper Tales page who described Cate as "sex incarnate", but I fully agree with that troper's assessment. Galadriel? Mmmm, yes. Elizabeth I, the "Virgin Queen"? Well, in the [[IncrediblyLamePun immortal words]] of a certain [[{{Highlander}} Clancy Brown character]], "Ahhh, not for much longer!" Ditto for the "Maid" part of [[RobinHood "Maid Marion"]].
** The "sex incarnate" troper would be [[Tropers/AcrossTheStars me]], and there are no words for how grateful I am that someone else recognizes this. ''Maid'' Marion? Not bloody likely once I get ''my'' hands on her. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to retreat to my corner.
* SummerGlau: I, too, shall [[MemeticMutation be in]] [[{{Firefly}} my bunk]], where I wait for her to [[TheSarahConnorChronicles terminate me]] whenever she wants.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Video Games ]]

* FinalFantasy: Cecil Harvey, Dark Knight or Paladin version (4); Celes Chere (6); Sephiroth (7); Edea Kramer (8); Lulu, Rikku (X); Rikku, Paine (X-2); Fran (12); Fang (13)
* FireEmblem: Lucius (BTW, if someone could point me toward some [[RuleThirtyFour Lucius/Bridget action]], I would be eternally grateful).
* GuiltyGear: Yes. I, too, am [[strike: gay]] [[{{Shotacon}} shota]] for [[CuteShotaroBoy Bridget]]. (Yes, I know the meme says "gay", but I'm already bi, and no man is worth me giving up women.)
* MetalGearSolid: [[GrandmaWhatMassiveHotnessYouHave Solid Snake]], naturally.
* {{Metroid}}: Samus Aran, with or without her armor.
* MortalKombat: Sheeva. Mmmm, such [[HotAmazon tall, muscular]], long-haired, [[MultiArmedAndDangerous four-armed]] yumminess, complete with [[DeepSpaceNine "Trill spots"]].
* {{Portal}}: [=GLaDOS=], of all things. Take another listen to her voice after [[spoiler:her morality core is destroyed]]. At that point, it sounds quite sexy...well, in a warped, psychotic sort of way. (Of course, the fact that she's voiced by EllenMcLain doesn't hurt.)
* StreetFighter: British bombshell Cammy White certainly qualifies, as does Chun-Li with her [[MurderousThighs thunder thighs]]. However, there are also a couple characters on the [[strike:male]] non-female side of the roster who also do it for me. First is the enigma known only as Q, from Third Strike. Am I the only troper on this site who'd like to get a closer look at whatever's beneath its coat and metal mask? Then, there's the awesome force that is [[LethalJokeCharacter Dan Hibiki]]. Mmmm. Yes, sifu Hibiki. Please, show me your Strongest Style in all its glory.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Web Comics ]]


* [[LookingForGroup Looking For Group]]: Three words: [[BoisterousBruiser Pella]], [[HotAmazon Pella]], [[MurderousThighs Pella]]!

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Western Animation ]]

* AeonFlux: Not only is the title character smokin' hot, but her lover/arch-nemesis, Trevor Goodchild, ain't so bad, either.
* TeenTitans:
** Okay, let me say it now, just for the record: '''Me wikie Waven!''' She is much, ''much'' hotter than her comic-book counterpart (also, the fact that she's voiced by TaraStrong doesn't hurt). Also, unlike Starfire, she has just enough "bad girl" within her to make her [[EvilIsSexy even more desirable]]. What's that, Raven? Your evil, nasty, demonic father is making your life as much of a hell as the place he calls home? I shall keep you safe from all that, if you'll just step into my arms for a century or two.
** Definitely ''not'' [[GoodIsBoring Starfire]]. Robin, you can keep her. [[EvilTwin Blackfire, on the other hand]]...she and I could [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean shoot off star-bolts together]] whenever she sees fit.
** Speaking of Robin, '''mmmmm, yes'''. Could he possibly be any more adorable, I ask you?! He has just enough inner turmoil (probably picked it up from [[{{Batman}} his old mentor]]) to keep him out of "Good Is Boring" and keep him into "Pure yummy". Then there was that episode where Starfire got sent into the future. I can certainly see why Robin's future self produces so much [[{{Squee}} squee]] from his female fans. [[StupidSexyFlanders Stupid sexy Nightwing]].
** You've seen "Brains And Bondage" listed in a previous folder on my page, and you've seen "Evil Is Sexy" in this folder. I wouldn't normally take the submissive role with another man, but I'd strongly consider making an exception for Slade "Deathstroke" Wilson. ([[OverlyLongGag The fact that he's voiced by Ron Perlman certainly doesn't hurt.]])
[[/folder]]

Back when this site was still accepting Troper Tales, I had contributed the following Troper Tales to their respective relevant pages:

[[folder:Troper Tales]]
* TroperTales/{{Alien Lunch}}: I'm the one who first mentioned Rocky Mountain Oysters.
* TroperTales/{{Bavarian Fire Drill}}: the stolen PacMan game
* TroperTales/{{Exactly What It Says On The Tin}}: While living with my parents, we had a cat named Fat Cat.
* TroperTales/{{Ironic Birthday}}: Mom became a widow on her 53rd birthday.
[[/folder]]

I have made the following predictions on their respective relevant WMG pages:

[[folder:Wild Mass Guesses]]

* WMG/{{Tron Legacy}}: In the third ''Tron'' film, Zuse and/or Gem will not only have survived the destruction of the End Of Line club, but will have made a HeelFaceTurn. ''(predicted on 8 Oct 2011)''
* WMG/{{Questionable Content}}: Marigold having sex with Dale in [[http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2638 14 Feb 2014's comic]] will result in Marigold becoming pregnant. ''(predicted on 15 Feb 2014)'' '''(jossed on [[http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2648 26 Feb 2014]])'''


[[/folder]]
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