[[caption-width:149:A salt-powered engine of evil.]]┬

[=PretzelBoy=] is a strange sort of fellow. Often seen with a blank expression, wandering through crowded halls with His [[EyesAlwaysShut eyes closed]]. Full extent of His intelligence is unknown as it is hidden behind a wall of [[ILied lies]], [[MadnessTropes crazy]], [[ObfuscatingStupidity fake stupidity]], and [[RalphWiggum ''actual'' stupidity]]. Not much us known about His thought processes but must go along the lines of [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} 2 + 2 = Bismarck, North Dakota]].┬

Once proclaimed that the can opener is a naturally occurring product of nature and that the can was invented after it's discovery. One of the inventors of the Illiterate C.D. Player and creator of the Pineapple Brain Theory. [=PretzelBoy=] has tried his hand at photoediting, painting, drawing, screenwriting, novelwriting, songwriting, singing. Pretty much anything that requires talent while possessing none.┬

When not standing in a field screaming to the Heavens having a private argument with {{God}}, He is out proclaiming the glory and grace of AvrilLavigne and converting the heathens to the Lavigne Legion, the Church of Avril. Not currently an officially recognized religion, but is currently petitioning for tax exempt status. Join the ranks of the enlightened before it is too late because The Avrilution is coming, those that oppose us will not be spared.┬
Currently [[IGotBetter recovering]] from a successsful attempt of [[SuicideIsPainless suicide]] and is actively engineering the [[EndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt Apocalypse]] by splicing SARS, Avian Flu, and the Swine Flu into one super virus with an even sillier name than it's component parts. If you would like to sign up for the vaccine please contact [=PretzelBoy=] at...[[AttentionDeficitOohShiny oh, look a penny]].┬

Tropes that describe this troper:┬
*[[{{CantHoldHisLiquor}} Can't Hold His Liquor]]┬