He wafts in, adding all sorts of tropes that have ''somehow'' gone unmentioned up until that point. Then, just as quickly as he came, he floats away on a breeze. He is not a mere man, and he's certainly not a phart. No, he's something altogether different; a sort of man/phart hybrid...

Indeed, he is the {{Phartman}}, and don't look now, but ''he's standing right behind you''...

Stuff he's done so far:

* LawOfInverseRecoil
* DoNotTouchTheFunnelCloud
* GroinAttack
* IndulgentFantasySegue
* TheFamilyForTheWholeFamily
* ResidentEvil ({{Phartman}} adds: Well, ''someone'' had to do it, dammit).
* CapcomSequelStagnation
* FacelessGoons
* ScareChord
* ShurFineGuns
* Annoyed a bunch of regulars in the various discussion boards ({{Phartman}} adds: That's not vandalism; I really do that).
* Managed to not be a fan of {{Anime}}, DoctorWho, {{Lost}}, Series/{{Heroes}}, the collected works of JossWhedon, or any other overly hyped nerd-bait that I ''have'' to start watching. In fact, I really can't be compelled to give a rat's ass about any of them. There, I said it. Come get me.

He's also gotten a wild hair in his ass and finally started writing a book in his spare time. If you desire to wish the Phartman luck, he thanks you. If you wish to make snide comments about his endeavor, the Phartman invites you to go find a sharp object and fall on it. Phartman doesn't phuck around.

''Update'': Still working on the book. Writing fiction isn't nearly as hard as I thought it'd be -in fact, it's actually a lot of fun- but it ''is'' time-consuming. I don't want to spoil any details about the plot, but let me just say that Lucas wrote StarWars, Rowling wrote HarryPotter, Tolkien wrote LordOfTheRings and the [=McCafferys=] wrote DragonridersOfPern so ''I'' wouldn't have to. Two things I will promise you now, though: you will know ''exactly'' who every character's parents are from the beginning, and there won't be any fucking [[Literature/{{Twilight}} vampires]] in it, either.