''The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged)'' is a play by Adam Long, Reed Martin & Austin Tichenor, with additional material by Matthew Croke, first presented by the ReducedShakespeareCompany in 1995. The show skims over all the books of Literature/TheBible in two acts: one for the Old Testament, the other for the New Testament, adding in anachronistic jokes and songs and a [=SuperSoaker=] Fire Extinguisher for entertainment value.
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!!This show contains examples of:
* AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: The Tower of Babel scene has fake Spanish ("Taco sombrero Creator/AntonioBanderas!") and fake Japanese ("Buddha shinto mushy-mushy, Franchise/{{Godzilla}} killy-killy sukiyaki?").
* AsTheGoodBookSays: When the players are idly chatting about the weather, one of them quotes the apocryphal Bible verse, "Many are cold, few are frozen," from the Book of Galoshes in the New Testament.
* AudienceParticipation: Six couples are selected from the audience to play the animals on Noah's Ark. The rest of the audience plays the drowning sinners.
* ChekhovsGun: This trope is mentioned in the script:
-->He gets the [=SuperSoaker=] Fire Extinguisher, thus fulfilling the Chekhovian unities, to wit: "If you bring on a [=SuperSoaker=] Fire Extinguisher, it must eventually go off."
* ChestBurster: Eve emerges from Adam's ribs in this this manner.
* EasterBunny: Included, despite the protests of the actor who has to wear the bunny suit that it has nothing to do with the resurrection of Christ.
* HesGotAWeapon: In the Tower of Babel scene: "Look out! He's got a picture of a bomb!" The picture goes off with a WrittenSoundEffect.
* {{Knighting}}: God tells Abraham that giving God his foreskin will establish a covenant between them: "You will be a knight in my army. I will dub thee Sir Cumcision."
* LuridTalesOfDoom: One of the Wise Men says that they're following ''The Star'', an issue of which he produces showing the headline: "Virgin Mary has space alien's baby in Bethlehem."
* MiseryPoker: The Angel of the Lord announces an auction in which God's favors will be awarded to the one who suffers the most.
* SoundOff: One for Joshua and his soldiers:
-->Gather round it's time to go!\\
Kick some ass in Jericho!\\
Listen up, now here's the news!\\
We're taking Israel back for Jews!\\
No sound!\\
No noise!\\
Let's go down and kill goys!
* StealthPun:
-->"He [Joshua] slew the people of Midian, known as Midianites, the people of Girgash, known as Girgashites, and the people of Paris, known as the French."
* TopTenList: The reading of the Top Ten Rejected Commandments.
* VisualPun: Two of these are thrown in near the end: Pontius Pilot, and the Axe of the Apostles.
* WorldsShortestBook: One of the players announces a reading of "the funniest sections of the book of Job." Awkward silence ensues, because, of course, the book of Job doesn't have any funny parts. Another compares the Book of Ruth to other short books like ''Great Moments of Tolerance in the Old Testament'' and ''Positive Images of Women in the Bible''.
* WrittenSoundEffect: The Tower of Babel scene ends when one of the characters threatens the others with a picture of a bomb. On the reverse of this picture is printed "BOOM!", or, when the bomb-picture-thrower is speaking in fake Spanish, [[ElSpanishO "EL BOOMO!"]]
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