''Don't Drink the Water'' is a comedy play written by Creator/WoodyAllen. Written and set in TheSixties, the play bases itself around the UsefulNotes/ColdWar. In an unnamed European country behind the IronCurtain, the American Ambassador must leave the Embassy for business. In his absence he places his incompetent son Axel Magee in charge. Almost immediately the Embassy is thrust into a crisis as the Hollanders, an American family of tourists, come rushing in on the run from the Communist police. Walter, the father, had accidentally snuck into a high security area and taken pictures, causing the communist to believe the family are spies. Axel digs the hole deeper and the embassy is surrounded, leaving the Hollanders trapped.

Two movie versions exist, one that came out in 1969 starring JackieGleason as Walter, and a TV movie in 1994 starring Allen as Walter, [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Julie Kavner]] as Marion, Creator/MichaelJFox as Axel, [[Series/TheBigBangTheory Mayim]] [[{{Blossom}} Bialik]] as Susan, and Creator/DomDeLuise as Father Drobney.
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The main characters are:
* Axel Magee - An American foreign diplomat who only went into the business due to his father rather then his actual talent in art. He has a tendency to ramble, especially when nervous. He falls in love with Susan during the play.
* Walter Hollander - A caterer from Newark, New Jersey. He is married to Marion and is the father of Susan and Seth. He causes his family to become trapped in the American embassy after he takes pictures of a high security area. He is very loud and abrasive but he can be kind when he wants to.
* Marion Hollander - Walter's homemaker wife and the mother of Susan and Seth, she too is somewhat inappropriate but she's much kinder then Walter.
* Susan Hollander - Walter and Marion's beautiful daughter who falls in love with Axel.
* Father Drobney - A priest hiding out in the embassy for 6 years with a love of magic tricks. He is the narrator of the play.
* Kilroy - Ambassador Magee's stuck-up assistant who is much more competent at his job then Axel.
* Krojack - The head of the Communist police who traps the Hollanders in the embassy
* Burns - An assisstant working at the embassy
* Ambassador Magee - Axel's father who is the ambassador of the unnamed country and the head of the embassy
* Chef - The embassy's chef, who consistently butts heads with Walter
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* {{Adorkable}}: Despite (or maybe due to) Axels clumsy incompetence, Susan falls madly in love with him over the space of a few days.
* AmbiguouslyJewish: The Hollanders, Walter and Marion are almost stereotypical with their traits but Susan is barely noticeable.
* AssInAmbassador: Subverted. Kilroy and Axel's father are awful people but they are wonderful at their jobs.
* AuthorAvatar: Both Walter and Axel have similarites to Woody Allen.
* AwLookTheyReallyDoLoveEachOther: Walter and Marion have one of these moments in Act II after constant bickering.
* BetaCouple: Walter and Marion to Axel and Susan
* BookEnds: The play both starts and ends with Father Drobney breaking the fourth wall and discussing the characters to the audience.
* BreakingTheFourthWall: Father Drobney does this several time, directly addressing the audience and delivering exposition
* ButtMonkey: Axel
* UsefulNotes/ColdWar
* ChewToy: Kilroy, to the point that there is a RunningGag of him getting horribly injured.
* DiplomaticImpunity: Axel has this[[spoiler: and is able to save Susan by marrying her and ensuring her the same immunity.]]
* FlatCharacter: Burns
* GenderFlip: In many amateur productions, several of the male characters are played by women. The most common are Kilroy, Burns and Krojack.
* HappilyMarried: Walter and Marion, [[spoiler: Axel and Susan]]
* HawaiianShirtedTourist: Walter
* HeWhoMustNotBeSeen: Walter and Marion's second child, Seth. Also, Susan's fiance Donald.
** In the Jackie Gleason version both are seen in a pre credit sequence: Seth being PutOnABus to camp, and Donald seeing the Hollanders off at the airport.
* HilariouslyAbusiveChildhood: Axel
* IronCurtain
* JerkAss: Walter, who turns out to be a JerkWithAHeartOfGold.
* JewishMother: Marion
* LargeHam: Walter. Marion is a unique kind of character who can either be a ham or a DeadpanSnarker.
* MistakenForSpies: Walter, Marion and Susan by Krojack. Basically the entire essence of the plot.
* ManicPixieDreamGirl: Susan
* MotorMouth: Axel
* MrExposition: For the first Act Kilroy is practically all exposition and no humour, in the second Act he has a far more comedic role and his role of delivering the exposition to the main characters is given to Father Drobney.
* {{Nepotism}}: The only reason Axel has his job at the Embassy, let alone a position of power, is because his father is in charge.
* OddNameOut: A small example, Walter is the only Hollander without a name of Hebrew origin.
* PickyEater: Walter, much to the Chef's exasperation.
* PoorCommunicationKills: Axel is completely unable to articulate to Krojack that the Hollanders are not spies and, in fact, makes the situation worse. Kilroy manages to fix the problem in no time flat, other circumstances (mainly Walter) are the only things that keep his plan from working.
* ProfessionalButtKisser: Kilroy
* RomanticRunnerUp: Susan's fiance, Donald.
* RunForTheBorder: The elaborate plan for the Hollanders to escape. [[spoiler: It fails the second they step out of the door. In the end, Walter and Marion are able to escape via this route and disguising their identities.]]
* {{Ruritania}}: The unnamed Communist country in which the embassy is situated.
* SarcasticConfession: Walter gives one to Krojack when he thinks he and his family are safe. Unfortunately, they're not safe...
* SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan: Susan and Axel.
* TheSixties
* TheOner: The 1994 version has many very long shots, possibly because of the origins of being a state play.
* TheyDo: [[spoiler: Axel and Susan]]
* UglyGuysHotDaughter: Walter and Susan.
* WellDoneSonGuy: Axel
* WhiteSheep: Susan is polite and friendly, as opposed to her rather rude and loud parents.
* Creator/WoodyAllen
* WorldOfHam
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