* [[http://hentaiism.tumblr.com/post/48434192201 An icon for a folder called "NOT HENTAI"]] ([[{{NSFW}} SFW]])
* There was a ''LoadingReadyRun'' video involving [[http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/372/All-The-Little-People Paul denying having a family of tiny people living under his hat]]. [[http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/374/Loading-Time-03-All-The-Little-People The commentary discusses the trope]].
-->'''Matt:''' Heh, it would be pretty funny, though. Like, where would they go to the bathroom?\\
'''Paul:''' Oh... uh... ooh... I have to go now... because... I have a fire... stuck... in my pants...\\
''(Paul turns and flees from the room)''
** Invoked again, multiple times in [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/loadingreadyrun/5048-Suspiciously-Good-Movers Suspiciously Good Movers]]
* ''WebVideo/DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog'' has Dr. Horrible, ClarkKenting as Billy, bump into his arch-nemesis. "We're meeting now for the first time!"
** "What a crazy random happenstance!"
* ''WebVideo/CommentaryTheMusical'' has Creator/FeliciaDay say "I certainly wasn't thinking about how cute {{Nathan|Fillion}} is!"
* From [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8vhLhLXwIs episode 5]] of ''Horrible People'':
-->'''Arturo:''' Where do you think you're going with that turkey baster?\\
'''Michael:''' Out of my way.\\
'''Arturo''': But that doesn't belong to you.\\
'''Michael''': Look, Arturo, it's not like I'm going to jack off into this thing and fill it full of semen so I can impregnate one of your female guests.\\
'''Arturo:''' I think that's exactly what you are going to do.
* Shortly after ''TheOnion'' [[http://www.theonion.com/content//columnists/well_ive_sold_the_paper_to?utm_source=featuredsection was sold to a Chinese company]], an article was written entitled "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nothing_at_all_happens_to_28?utm_source=a-section Nothing At All Happens To 28 Tibetan Protesters, Their Families]]" that takes this trope to its logical conclusion by stating that nothing happened to some Tibetan protesters, then explaining, in great detail, precisely what didn't happen to them.
-->''According to the great and trustworthy Chinese government, the eternal silencing of demonstrators was in no way carried out at 6:15 p.m., shortly after dusk, by officers of the People's Armed Police. Moreover, at this time, noxious gases were not at all fired into the teeming crowd, especially not at the children, who failed to fall like sacks of flour onto the pavement below. "Stop, you can't do this," a Tibetan woman reportedly cried as though she were being violently detained, which, as noted, was impossible. "Where are you taking me? Get your hands off me!"''
** In another article, a long {{Infomercial}} [[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/american_consumer_masses_agree_it for "fine fish-based foodstuffs from Yu Wan Mei"]] notes that "health experts agree: Fish Time cannot cause acute peripheral neuropathy."
** ''The Onion'' is fond of these. [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/google-responds-to-privacy-concerns-with-unsettlin,16891/ Here's one about Google]]
** [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/life-jackets-issued-to-all-americans-for-some-reas,95/ Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reason]].
* ''{{Spelljammer}}'': "[[TheGreys Oortling]] Central Command (Terraspace) [[http://sjml.spelljammer.org/archive/leicester/199410/27-132026.html press release]] to Surviving Members of the {{Spelljammer}} Mail List. [[http://sjml.spelljammer.org/archive/leicester/199407/24-094203.html Not that there was any reason to panic]], anyway."
* ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''[='=]s review of ''VideoGame/GuitarHero III'' includes the line: "It all started when some colleagues and I were at a friend's house for [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday completely heterosexual reasons]] and decided to break out ''Guitar Hero'' on easy mode in celebration of our manliness and complete lack of desire to fondle scrotums."
** {{Tw|itter}}eeting about his ''VideoGame/GodOfWar 3'' review:
-->And yes, my voice sounded different in ZP because I had a sore throat. There continues to not be a [[Film/InvasionOfTheBodySnatchers body-snatching conspiracy]] going on.
* ''AskANinja'':
-->'''Q:''' Do ninjas ever get lonely?\\
'''A:''' You mean are there nights when I sit alone in a cave, eating Cheez-Whiz out of a can, naming my weapons and making little costumes for them, so we can put on elaborate theatric productions. ''(beat)'' No, I don't know what you're talking about. I've got friends.
* During a ''Website/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses'' charity drive, one of the viewers asked about the possibility of another Spooning With Spoony video. Spoony immediately flew into a rage about how it was never, ever happening. He had actually filmed said episode just hours earlier, and it was released the next week.
** Associate TGWTG producer [[WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob Cinema Snob]] wants us to know that under no circumstances should anyone think that he owns a copy of ''Film/WeekendAtBernies''. He's too classy for that.
*** Also, the Christmas horror movie ''Elves'':
--->'''Movie Protagonist:''' [''To her cat''] You're the only friend I have left!
--->'''Snob:''' [''glances at Lloyd, his Siamese''] Psh, whatever... I have friends! This movie isn't speaking to me in a weird way.
* In episode 1 of ''LlamasWithHats'' (from the same people who bought us ''CharlieTheUnicorn''), one llama comes home to find a dead human in his house.
-->'''Paul:''' Why did you kill this person, Carl?\\
'''Carl:''' I do not kill people. That is... that is my ''least'' favorite thing to do.
* From Website/CollegeHumor's ''WebVideo/HardlyWorking'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSpvtAXbp0k "I repeat, just testing the alarm in the event of a widespread fire in the basement. No fires today, though."]] Then the building manager makes an announcement about Stick Towels Under Your Doors Day (with crackling flames heard in the background), causing Jake to {{lampshade|Hanging}} why such a day even exists, but all of the others are TooDumbToLive, since they think Jake is trying to tell a joke that they obviously don't like.
* A bit of context is necessary here: ''Roleplay/CerberusDailyNews'' is supposedly the comments section of an online newspaper in the ''Franchise/MassEffect'' universe. Two hundred years previously, that universe suffered a RobotRebellion. The robots are still out there, and may or may not be spying on the rest of the galaxy. One of the posters in the comments goes by the screen name "Inconspicuous_Organic," and constantly says that he's a "robust human specimen." (He's fooling nobody, but he's not harmful enough to justify booting.)
* [[http://www.behance.net/gallery/ALT1977-WE-ARE-NOT-TIME-TRAVELERS/545221 ALT1977]] would like you to know that their company definitely wasn't founded by rogue time travelers from 33 years in the future. Also, time travel is impossible, and will never happen. Especially not 33 years from now.
* From ''WebVideo/{{Awkward}}'':
-->'''Lester:''' Home so soon?\\
'''Alex:''' I didn't come from anywhere suspicious.
* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-fortey-first-day-a-cracked-murder-mystery/ This]] ''Website/{{Cracked}}'' article, in which the editor routinely interrupts the testimony of the other writers to strenuously and insistently deny that he had any reason to murder nor any ability or plans to murder the deceased columnist in question, who he probably didn't even see that night and even if he did he certainly didn't intend to murder him. [[spoiler:He gets so caught up in it that he doesn't even notice when the actual killer nonchalantly confesses to committing the deed.]]
* A RunningGag in WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick's "Top 11 Villainesses" countdown. She'll lie very badly that "It's not like there's pictures of me dressed up as [this character] for Halloween"; cut to a picture of her {{cosplay}}ing, soundtracked with a scream.
** One of WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick's recurring characters, [[HotScientist Dr. Tease]], has a tendency to do this too.
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' Where's [[OnlySaneMan Dr. Block]]?
-->'''Dr. Tease:''' ''Oh,'' uh--not in space.
*** Subverted at one point when Dr Tease says that the reason Dr Block isn't around when evil Nella (who also plays Dr Block) is "Not because she and Nella are actually the same person." Dr Block promptly walks in when Nella is still there, causing everyone to look at her in confusion, where as Dr Tease says "What? I said Not?"
* [[http://evilatheistconspiracy.org/en/about.htm The Evil Atheist Conspiracy doesn't exist.]]
-->''That's the most important thing to keep in mind when discussing the evil Atheist conspiracy (or eAc as its members call it, that is, if it had any members, which it doesn't, since it doesn't really exist). In fact, you can probably just disregard that first paragraph altogether.''
* From ''DavidMitchell's Soapbox'':
-->"I do not have OCD. I've checked. Three or four hundred times. And I ''definitely'' don't. I stop myself catching it by washing my hands an even number of times. But I'm aware I'm at an at-risk group... I don't care about the odd pound, either, but I want the books balanced, only for the same reasons that if I saw two piles of actual books, I would want them literally balanced. It's neater that way. It's better. How can they not see that?"
* ''Series/TheChasersWarOnEverything'' with this [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHy0HyG8Yus&feature=feedrec_grec_index gem]]
* Dom Fera's original animated take on ''The Devil and Daniel Webster'' has
---> '''Jabez:''' Thank you, thank you. I'd just like to say I deserve everything I've ever had and in no way sold my soul to the devil!
---> '''Partygoer:''' What?
---> '''Jabez:''' Foreshadowing.
* [[http://www.happyplace.com/3482/okcupid-dating-profile-i-wont-murder-you This]] joke OKCupid profile (at least, we all hope it's a joke). Starts with, "I'm a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder."... [[FromBadToWorse It Gets Worse]].
* "My name is Creator/OlanRogers. I am not an astronaut, a geophysicist, nor am I dragon slayer."
* [[http://youtu.be/aEHtcZ5pTkQ "G is for Giraffe.]] An animal I have never licked. Never. Never."
* [[http://www.jest.com/video/46924/is-zooey-deschanel-human This]] parody advertisement for ''Series/NewGirl'' insists that Zooey Deschanel is "definitely one hundred percent human" with human friends that she would "never dream of eating or enslaving."
* [[http://manboobz.com/2011/10/17/a-pua-living-the-dream-and-by-living-the-dream-i-mean-being-a-dick/comment-page-5/#comment-71392 This message board commenter]] states "I don’t have a secret stash of illegally taped sex."
* In Literature/HitherbyDragons [[http://imago.hitherby.com/2004/08/merediths-fairy-tale/ "Meredith's Fairy Tale"]], a witch gives Meredith some tea leaves that are in no way cursed.
* Happens quite often to [[Roleplay/DestineEnormity Aidric Carter,]] partly because he's a rebel on the run from a dystopian government.
-->'''Aidric:''' "Uuuuh, no worries! Nothing to see here! Poor kid took a nasty and ''extremely unlikely'' spill that was in no way related to me, that's all!"
* [[http://pandasthumb.org/archives/2011/06/we-get-mail.html This post]] at The Panda's Thumb, discusses an e-mail they received titled "A legitimate question about Evolution with no agenda."
* ''Literature/SkippysList'' has examples:
--> 151. The proper way to report to my Commander is "Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir" not "You can't prove a thing!"
* The parody Twitter [[https://twitter.com/NotAPoliceman Not A Cop]]. He just wants to know what illegal crimes you're committing. And because he's a fellow lawbreaker like yourself, not because he's an undercover cop or anything...
* Quinn in ''Webvideo/{{Demo Reel}}'' is not a member of the IRA and isn't going to answer any more questions.
* In ''WebVideo/DeathNoteTheAbridgedSeriesKpts4tv'' [[MemeticMolester Ryuk]] makes the following proposition:
-->'''Ryuk:''' [[MonsterRoommate Tell you what—I need a place to stay.]] [[FreudianSlip If you let me bunk with you maybe we can experiment together.]] W-with the Death Note. Not each other. You're a sick little girl, you know that?!
-->'''Light:''' But I'm a boy!
-->'''Ryuk:''' ''Riiight.''
* This gem from ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries'':
-->'''Kaiba:''' When I'm through with you, you'll have to take a shower to wash away the smell of defeat. [[FoeYay And I won't be watching you do it.]]
-->'''Yami:''' Why would you be watching me?
-->'''Kaiba:''' I don't know, I just wanted to make sure you knew I wouldn't be.
-->'''Yami:''' But I never thought-
-->'''Kaiba:''' Good because I won't!
-->'''Yami:''' Why would I think that you were watching m-
-->'''Kaiba:''' I dunno.
* ''Wiki/SCPFoundation'': That time somebody pushed Dr. Clef into [[OmnicidalManiac SCP-682]]'s enclosure was a freak accident and in no way an attempt to kill him. Additionally, the high-speed introduction of the guilty party's face to a table shortly afterward, resulting in a snapped neck, was the result of 682 somehow breaching containment, then promptly returning to its cell. Without disappearing from the camera feed at any point. It was ''definitely'' not Dr. Clef.
** Similarly, when Doctor Kondraki was interviewing Doctor Clef following a very serious containment breach, "Dr. Clef accidentally fell out of his chair and struck his head nine times against the corner of the desk, fracturing his skull and snapping his neck between the second and third vertebrae."
* ''LetsPlay/{{Yogscast}}'': Episode 12 from Simon, Lewis, and Duncan's Voltz Pack series has this little gem:
-->'''''' hey come check out our cool base guys
-->'''''' i promise that there's no crazy wormhole thing under our base continually killing us
* One of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15661_harry-potter-book-disguises.html Cracked.com's Harry Potter book jacket disguises]] declares this book has "no wizards or anything like that."
* [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:IanPlaystationNerd#I_appeal This unblock request]] at TheOtherWiki (lampshaded immediately thereafter).
* A staple gag on ''{{Rifftrax}}.'' In the short ''Three Magic Words,'' Bill does a particularly epic version ''in song:''
--> '''Bill:''' "We're not going to strangle you and say a prayer to Lucifer and sacrifice you on the kitchen floor! On the floor! By the Door! We won't dis-em-bowel you on the kitchen floor!"
* As the writers of Website/{{Snopes}} will tell you, this trope is a good rule of thumb for determining if a rumor spawned in a chain email is actually true. If the writer of said email feels the need to preface it with "This is ''not'' a hoax!", it probably is.
* Parodied in a real-life scene in ''Series/{{Noob}}''. Kevin (Sparadrap) tries to "kidnap" Stanislas (Arthéon) while wearing a PaperThinDisguise. Stanislas recognizes Kevin immediately, calling him "Sparadrap". The answer he gets : "No sir, I'm not Sparadrap. You must be confusing me with another priest on another {{MMORPG}}".
* In episode 29 of ''Podcast/WelcomeToNightVale'', there is a disturbingly specific denial of rampant cannibalism.
** Neither the first nor the last instance of this trope in ''Podcast/WelcomeToNightVale'', by far.
** Most of the time, these denials come on the behalf of the Mayor, the Council, or the Sheriff's Secret Police. Cecil, for his part, usually tries to be as honest as he's allowed. That said, in the episode 'Cookies', he gives perhaps the most obvious instance of this trope in the entire show, when he tries to reassure everyone that his comments about Girl Scouts needing to hide in the desert was ''just'' for hide-and-go-seek, and not about them having to survive an attack from the evil Strexcorp.
--> ''You would never need to hide for '''those''' reasons. Why would I even '''say''' that? Why would I say '''anything'''? Words? No! These are just strange noises I'm making with my face. Strange noises!''
* The ''Franchise/{{Neopets}}'' Staff would like to remind you that there is no such place as [[http://www.neopets.com/jelly/index.phtml Jelly World]], and the very idea of it is silly.
* From the {{Website/Cracked}} video, "Sex Offender Shuffle," Arthur Chase's rap features the lines, "I'm not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase / That's a different Arthur Chase."
* In episode 9 of WebVideo/TheMusicVideoShow. ""You don't see me taking a bunch of Music/{{Creed}} albums, putting them in a garbage truck and setting the truck on fire." To be fair, the battery for the camera died before he could do it.
* ''Website/SFDebris'': Parody Janeway is prone to this.
-->"My father died, too, and I totally have an alibi and everything."
* Ray in the very first episode of ''WebOriginal/AchievementHunterMinecraftSeries'' does this when he discovers the house they buy was now covered in lava. Gavin, the one who did it, pulls this as well, claiming he was nowhere near it... until a Creeper attacked.