* There was a ''WebVideo/LoadingReadyRun'' video involving [[http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/372/All-The-Little-People Paul denying having a family of tiny people living under his hat]]. [[http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/374/Loading-Time-03-All-The-Little-People The commentary discusses the trope]].
-->'''Matt:''' Heh, it would be pretty funny, though. Like, where would they go to the bathroom?\\
'''Paul:''' Oh... uh... ooh... I have to go now... because... I have a fire... stuck... in my pants...\\
''(Paul turns and flees from the room)''
** Invoked again, multiple times in [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/loadingreadyrun/5048-Suspiciously-Good-Movers Suspiciously Good Movers]]
*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W7P_OaCAOg Staggeringly Fast Loans ]] is in no way a spiritual successor, which does not invoke this trope.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7sE0agEVNg EVERYTHING IS FINE.]]
* ''WebVideo/RoosterTeethShorts'':
** Burnie insists he wouldn't want a Henckman Brothers Model 607 Trapdoor.
** Gus's volunteer trip to the Gulf Coast was totally not a secret vacation to Hawaii.
* ''WebVideo/DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog'' has Dr. Horrible, ClarkKenting as Billy, bump into his arch-nemesis. "We're meeting now for the first time!"
** "What a crazy random happenstance!"
** PlayedForDrama at the end in "Everything You Ever". "And I am ''fiii-ine...''"
* ''WebVideo/CommentaryTheMusical'' has Creator/FeliciaDay say "I certainly wasn't thinking about how cute Creator/{{Nathan|Fillion}} is!"
* From [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8vhLhLXwIs episode 5]] of ''Horrible People'':
-->'''Arturo:''' Where do you think you're going with that turkey baster?\\
'''Michael:''' Out of my way.\\
'''Arturo''': But that doesn't belong to you.\\
'''Michael''': Look, Arturo, it's not like I'm going to jack off into this thing and fill it full of semen so I can impregnate one of your female guests.\\
'''Arturo:''' I think that's exactly what you are going to do.
* Shortly after ''Website/TheOnion'' [[http://www.theonion.com/content//columnists/well_ive_sold_the_paper_to?utm_source=featuredsection was sold to a Chinese company]], an article was written entitled "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nothing_at_all_happens_to_28?utm_source=a-section Nothing At All Happens To 28 Tibetan Protesters, Their Families]]" that takes this trope to its logical conclusion by stating that nothing happened to some Tibetan protesters, then explaining, in great detail, precisely what didn't happen to them.
-->''According to the great and trustworthy Chinese government, the eternal silencing of demonstrators was in no way carried out at 6:15 p.m., shortly after dusk, by officers of the People's Armed Police. Moreover, at this time, noxious gases were not at all fired into the teeming crowd, especially not at the children, who failed to fall like sacks of flour onto the pavement below. "Stop, you can't do this," a Tibetan woman reportedly cried as though she were being violently detained, which, as noted, was impossible. "Where are you taking me? Get your hands off me!"''
** In another article, a long {{Infomercial}} [[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/american_consumer_masses_agree_it for "fine fish-based foodstuffs from Yu Wan Mei"]] notes that "health experts agree: Fish Time cannot cause acute peripheral neuropathy."
** ''The Onion'' is fond of these. [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/google-responds-to-privacy-concerns-with-unsettlin,16891/ Here's one about Google]]
** [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/life-jackets-issued-to-all-americans-for-some-reas,95/ Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reason]].
* ''TabletopGame/{{Spelljammer}}'': "[[TheGreys Oortling]] Central Command (Terraspace) [[http://sjml.spelljammer.org/archive/leicester/199410/27-132026.html press release]] to Surviving Members of the Spelljammer Mail List. [[http://sjml.spelljammer.org/archive/leicester/199407/24-094203.html Not that there was any reason to panic]], anyway."
* ''WebVideo/AskANinja'':
-->'''Q:''' Do ninjas ever get lonely?\\
'''A:''' You mean are there nights when I sit alone in a cave, eating Cheez-Whiz out of a can, naming my weapons and making little costumes for them, so we can put on elaborate theatric productions. ''[beat]'' No, I don't know what you're talking about. I've got friends.
* ''Website/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses'':
** During a charity drive, one of the viewers asked about the possibility of another Spooning With Spoony video. Spoony immediately flew into a rage about how it was never, ever happening. He had actually filmed said episode just hours earlier, and it was released the next week.
** Associate TGWTG producer [[WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob Cinema Snob]] wants us to know that under no circumstances should anyone think that he owns a copy of ''Film/WeekendAtBernies''. He's too classy for that.
** Also, the Christmas horror movie ''Elves'':
--->'''Movie Protagonist:''' ''[to her cat]'' You're the only friend I have left!\\
'''Snob:''' ''[glances at Lloyd, his Siamese]'' Psh, whatever... I have friends! This movie isn't speaking to me in a weird way.
* From Website/CollegeHumor's ''WebVideo/HardlyWorking'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSpvtAXbp0k "I repeat, just testing the alarm in the event of a widespread fire in the basement. No fires today, though."]] Then the building manager makes an announcement about Stick Towels Under Your Doors Day (with crackling flames heard in the background), causing Jake to {{lampshade|Hanging}} why such a day even exists, but all of the others are TooDumbToLive, since they think Jake is trying to tell a joke that they obviously don't like.
* ''Roleplay/CerberusDailyNews'' is supposedly the comments section of an online newspaper in the ''Franchise/MassEffect'' universe. Two hundred years previously, that universe suffered a RobotRebellion. The robots are still out there, and may or may not be spying on the rest of the galaxy. One of the posters in the comments goes by the screen name "Inconspicuous_Organic," and constantly says that he's a "robust human specimen." (He's fooling nobody, but he's not harmful enough to justify booting.)
* [[http://www.behance.net/gallery/ALT1977-WE-ARE-NOT-TIME-TRAVELERS/545221 ALT1977]] would like you to know that their company definitely wasn't founded by rogue time travelers from 33 years in the future. Also, time travel is impossible, and will never happen. Especially not 33 years from now.
* From ''WebVideo/{{Awkward}}'':
-->'''Lester:''' Home so soon?\\
'''Alex:''' I didn't come from anywhere suspicious.
* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-fortey-first-day-a-cracked-murder-mystery/ This]] ''Website/{{Cracked}}'' article, in which the editor routinely interrupts the testimony of the other writers to strenuously and insistently deny that he had any reason to murder nor any ability or plans to murder the deceased columnist in question, who he probably didn't even see that night and even if he did he certainly didn't intend to murder him. [[spoiler:He gets so caught up in it that he doesn't even notice when the actual killer nonchalantly confesses to committing the deed.]]
* WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick:
** A RunningGag in the "Top 11 Villainesses" countdown. She'll lie very badly that "It's not like there's pictures of me dressed up as [this character] for Halloween"; cut to a picture of her {{cosplay}}ing, soundtracked with a scream.
** One of WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick's recurring characters, [[HotScientist Dr. Tease]], has a tendency to do this too.
-->'''Nostalgia Chick:''' Where's [[OnlySaneMan Dr. Block]]?\\
'''Dr. Tease:''' ''Oh,'' uh--not in space.
** Subverted another time, when she responds "Not indisposed because [[ActingForTwo she and Nella are really the same person]]." A few episodes later we see Dr. Block, and the Chick is confused because she assumed that they were.
* [[http://evilatheistconspiracy.org/en/about.htm The Evil Atheist Conspiracy doesn't exist.]]
-->''That's the most important thing to keep in mind when discussing the evil Atheist conspiracy (or eAc as its members call it, that is, if it had any members, which it doesn't, since it doesn't really exist). In fact, you can probably just disregard that first paragraph altogether.''
* From ''Creator/{{David Mitchell|Actor}}'s Soapbox'':
-->"I do not have OCD. I've checked. Three or four hundred times. And I ''definitely'' don't. I stop myself catching it by washing my hands an even number of times. But I'm aware I'm at an at-risk group... I don't care about the odd pound, either, but I want the books balanced, only for the same reasons that if I saw two piles of actual books, I would want them literally balanced. It's neater that way. It's better. How can they not see that?"
* ''Series/TheChasersWarOnEverything'' with this [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHy0HyG8Yus&feature=feedrec_grec_index gem]]
* [[http://www.happyplace.com/3482/okcupid-dating-profile-i-wont-murder-you This]] joke OK Cupid profile (at least, we all hope it's a joke). Starts with, "I'm a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder."... [[FromBadToWorse It Gets Worse]].
* "My name is Creator/OlanRogers. I am not an astronaut, a geophysicist, nor am I dragon slayer."
* [[http://youtu.be/aEHtcZ5pTkQ "G is for Giraffe.]] An animal I have never licked. Never. Never."
* [[http://www.jest.com/video/46924/is-zooey-deschanel-human This]] parody advertisement for ''Series/NewGirl'' insists that Zooey Deschanel is "definitely one hundred percent human" with human friends that she would "never dream of eating or enslaving."
* [[http://manboobz.com/2011/10/17/a-pua-living-the-dream-and-by-living-the-dream-i-mean-being-a-dick/comment-page-5/#comment-71392 This message board commenter]] states "I don’t have a secret stash of illegally taped sex."
* In Literature/HitherbyDragons [[http://imago.hitherby.com/2004/08/merediths-fairy-tale/ "Meredith's Fairy Tale"]], a witch gives Meredith some tea leaves that are in no way cursed.
* Happens quite often to [[Roleplay/DestineEnormity Aidric Carter,]] partly because he's a rebel on the run from a dystopian government.
-->'''Aidric:''' "Uuuuh, no worries! Nothing to see here! Poor kid took a nasty and ''extremely unlikely'' spill that was in no way related to me, that's all!"
* [[http://pandasthumb.org/archives/2011/06/we-get-mail.html This post]] at The Panda's Thumb, discusses an e-mail they received titled "A legitimate question about Evolution with no agenda."
* ''Literature/SkippysList'' has examples:
--> 151. The proper way to report to my Commander is "Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir" not "You can't prove a thing!"
* The parody Twitter [[https://twitter.com/NotAPoliceman Not A Cop]]. He just wants to know what illegal crimes you're committing. And because he's a fellow lawbreaker like yourself, not because he's an undercover cop or anything...
* Quinn in ''Webvideo/DemoReel'' is not a member of the IRA and isn't going to answer any more questions.
* ''Wiki/SCPFoundation'':
** That time somebody pushed Dr. Clef into [[OmnicidalManiac SCP-682]]'s enclosure was a freak accident and in no way an attempt to kill him. Additionally, the high-speed introduction of the guilty party's face to a table shortly afterward, resulting in a snapped neck, was the result of 682 somehow breaching containment, then promptly returning to its cell. Without disappearing from the camera feed at any point. It was ''definitely'' not Dr. Clef.
** Similarly, when Doctor Kondraki was interviewing Doctor Clef following a very serious containment breach, "Dr. Clef accidentally fell out of his chair and struck his head nine times against the corner of the desk, fracturing his skull and snapping his neck between the second and third vertebrae."
* ''LetsPlay/{{Yogscast}}'': Episode 12 from LetsPlay/SimonLane, LetsPlay/LewisBrindley, and LetsPlay/DuncanJones' Voltz Pack series has this little gem:
-->'''<[[LetsPlay/{{Sips}} Sips_]]>''' hey come check out our cool base guys
-->'''''' i promise that there's no crazy wormhole thing under our base continually killing us
** The series Yoglabs is full of this.
* One of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15661_harry-potter-book-disguises.html Cracked.com's Harry Potter book jacket disguises]] declares this book has "no wizards or anything like that."
* [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:IanPlaystationNerd#I_appeal This unblock request]] at Wiki/TheOtherWiki (lampshaded immediately thereafter).
* A staple gag on ''Podcast/RiffTrax.'' In the short ''Three Magic Words,'' Bill does a particularly epic version ''in song:''
--> '''Bill:''' "We're not going to strangle you and say a prayer to Lucifer and sacrifice you on the kitchen floor! On the floor! By the Door! We won't dis-em-bowel you on the kitchen floor!"
* As the writers of Website/{{Snopes}} will tell you, this trope is a good rule of thumb for determining if a rumor spawned in a chain email is actually true. If the writer of said email feels the need to preface it with "This is ''not'' a hoax!", it probably is.
* Parodied in a real-life scene in ''Series/{{Noob}}''. Kevin (Sparadrap) tries to "kidnap" Stanislas (Arthéon) while wearing a PaperThinDisguise. Stanislas recognizes Kevin immediately, calling him "Sparadrap". The answer he gets : "No, no, mister, I'm not Sparadrap! You must be confusing me with another priest in another {{MMORPG}.".
* In episode 29 of ''Podcast/WelcomeToNightVale'', there is a disturbingly specific denial of rampant cannibalism. Neither the first nor the last instance of this trope in, by far.
** Most of the time, these denials come on the behalf of the Mayor, the Council, or the Sheriff's Secret Police. Cecil, for his part, usually tries to be as honest as he's allowed. That said, in the episode 'Cookies', he gives perhaps the most obvious instance of this trope in the entire show, when he tries to reassure everyone that his comments about Girl Scouts needing to hide in the desert was ''just'' for hide-and-go-seek, and not about them having to survive an attack from the evil Strexcorp.
--> ''You would never need to hide for '''those''' reasons. Why would I even '''say''' that? Why would I say '''anything'''? Words? No! These are just strange noises I'm making with my face. Strange noises!''
** Before one episode, ''Night Vale'' producer Joseph Fink invited fans to a party to celebrate a year of broadcasting the show, where they would certainly not be replaced by "exact duplicates created to do our bidding."
* The ''Website/{{Neopets}}'' Staff would like to remind you that there is no such place as [[http://www.neopets.com/jelly/index.phtml Jelly World]], and the very idea of it is silly.
* From the Website/{{Cracked}} video, "Sex Offender Shuffle," Arthur Chase's rap features the lines, "I'm not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase / That's a different Arthur Chase."
* In episode 9 of WebVideo/TheMusicVideoShow. ""You don't see me taking a bunch of Music/{{Creed}} albums, putting them in a garbage truck and setting the truck on fire." To be fair, the battery for the camera died before he could do it.
* ''Website/SFDebris'': Parody Janeway is prone to this.
-->"My father died, too, and I totally have an alibi and everything."
* Ray in the very first episode of ''WebOriginal/AchievementHunterMinecraftSeries'' does this when he discovers the house they buy was now covered in lava. Gavin, the one who did it, pulls this as well, claiming he was nowhere near it... until a Creeper attacked.
* In the FAQ of the [[http://home.comcast.net/~jpittman2/pacman/pacmandossier.html Pac-Man Dossier]]:
-->'''Q:''' Where can I download a copy of the Pac-Man [=ROMs=]?\\
'''A:''' The ''Pac-Man'' [=ROMs=] are under copyright to NAMCO Bandai, LTD and are their intellectual property. I cannot legally provide you with them, and I certainly cannot recommend that you go to [[http://www.google.com Google]] right away and search for “pacman puckman [=ROMs MAME32=]” because you would probably find them after a little searching.
* On LetsPlay/LewisBrindley and LetsPlay/SimonLane's fourth series of ''VideoGame/TroubleInTerroristTown'' [[note]]Simon was missing from series 4[[/note]], LetsPlay/HatFilms' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd5EfCTTIsU Ross has a bad case of this]] mixed with ImplausibleDeniability, something he's become renowned for. He starts by shooting LetsPlay/{{Sips}}, LetsPlay/DuncanJones (after telling them "poop into mouth", a euphemism for the "Eat Shit" meme that Ross started) and then Lewis. After the alarm is raised due to Ross missing his first few shots at Lewis, he continues to deny it, ''while firing on the innocents''.
-->'''Ross:''' ''[after having killed Duncan]'' [[UnusualEuphemism Poop into mouth]].\\
''[Ross then wanders out, as Lewis enters to discover there's blood everywhere]''\\
'''Lewis:''' Ross? ''[promptly gets shot at]'' Ross is shooting at me!\\
'''Ross:''' [[BadLiar No I'm not]]! I'm not trying to make you ''eat shit'' at all! ''[keeps firing]''\\
'''Lewis:''' It's definitely Ross, he's shooting me!\\
'''Ross:''' It's not me! ''It's not me!'' It's not me! Who is it?
* ''Website/{{Cracked}}'': [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/greatest-customer-feedback-ever-sent-to-mcdonalds/ "Greatest Customer Feedback Ever Sent to McDonald's"]]: A man found in a ball-pit that he filled with lube claims to have been [[MistakenForPedophile mistaken for a pedophile]]. His excuses are extremely convoluted. He even wore a "I Am Not A Child Predator" t-shirt. Either he's a crazy stupid pedophile or a crazy stupid ManChild. Either way, it's not looking so good for him.
* There is no Website/{{Usenet}} [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backbone_cabal cabal]]. There has never been a USENET cabal. Any claims that a person or administrator might be part of such a cabal are unfounded and spurious. Similarly, there is no Lumber Cartel, and moustachio'd people named Eric are not in any way a hacker organization.
* Even Wiki/ThisVeryWiki [[Discontinuity/{{Meta}} is not immune...]]
* Many of the pictures on TheComicallySerious site averagecats.com come across this way. [[http://averagecats.com/102 For example...]]
* [[http://notalwaysright.com/totally-lost-the-pot/9198 This]] ''Website/NotAlwaysRight'' post is such a perfect example it makes you wonder if the guy rehearsed it before.
* [[https://www.reddit.com/r/totallynotrobots/ Totally Not Robots]] is a subreddit about humans pretending to be robots but failing badly (by doing every stereotypical robot trope as well as calling anyone who doesn't get the joke a robot).
* Not [[http://gingerhaze.tumblr.com/post/7569037163 this]] ''Film/XMenFirstClass'' meme pic.
* Jane in ''WebVideo/OutsideXbox'' regularly runs into this due to her status as the TokenEvilTeammate. [[LampshadeHanging Lampshaded]] in the "Halo Wars 2" Show of the Week episode, where after a sentence where she twice emphasises that she isn't in touch with aliens and they're not asking her to send messages, Andy comments that her denials are "weirdly specific".
* Comedian Andrew O'Neill references this trope in his video [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrgygfwnCJ0 I'm not being racist but... ]]. In summary, he demonstrates that the phrase renders ''anything'' suspicious and disturbing, such that if you preface a genuinely non-racist statement with it, it invites it to be interpreted as racist.
* In the ''WebVideo/UltraFastPony'' episode "Bummer In The City", Rarity says all of the following without so much as pausing for breath:
--> Thanks, it's as soft as a newborn baby's skin, which has ''nothing'' to do with all those babies that went missing I don't know how those skeletons got there what are you a cop I don't have to answer any of these questions I know my rights.
* Jessica of ''Podcast/FatFrenchAndFabulous'' may or may not have broken into a house after getting stranded on the side of the road. She may or may not have also accidentally let out the corgi.