->''"What's wrong with policemen on television these days? They're so predictable - there's always the two officers. First they don't get on, then they do get on. One of them's fat and gruff, the other one's thin and posh. One of them's a sad old drunk, the other one's a health fanatic. One of them's a woman, the other one's a Martian. One of them has four heads, othe other one's ''allergic'' to heads."''
-->-- '''Inspector Fowler'''

1990s BritCom set in a small-town police station, written by Creator/BenElton and starring Creator/RowanAtkinson as repressed, old-fashioned but basically decent Police Inspector Raymond Fowler. His nemesis in the series was Inspector Grim, a [[Series/LifeOnMars2006 proto-Gene Hunt type]] but without the brains. The other regulars were all fellow police officers, including Raymond's longterm and long-suffering cohab girlfriend Sergeant Patricia Dawkins, elderly Constable Gladstone, junior officers Goody and Habib, and Grim's henchman Kray.

The series was apparently modelled on the classic World War II-themed show ''Series/DadsArmy'', an ambitious target to live up to. The BBC's website sums up the show as [[http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/thethinblueline/ "Should've worked. Didn't."]]

Not to be confused with the Errol Morris [[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096257/ documentary]] about Dallas police and prosecutors framing a man for murder, nor ''Film/TheThinRedLine''.

Came thirty-fourth in ''Series/BritainsBestSitcom''.
!!''The Thin Blue Line'' provides examples of:
* AffectionateNickname: Raymond calls Patricia "cabbage".
* AgainstMyReligion: Someone gets sick in Fowler's hat, and Fowler absentmindedly puts it on. When his superior shows up and want to know why Fowler isn't taking his hat off in respect, he claims to be a Sikh who is forbidden to bare his head.
* AndYouThoughtItWasAGame:
** In "Rag Week", Fowler confronts and talks down a group of dangerous bank robbers, while under the impression they were students playing a prank.
** Inverted in "Fly on the Wall" -- after Fowler talks down the old man with the gun, it turns out that he was going to turn it in to the weapons amnesty program and possibly get on television.
** Also inverted when a serial hoaxer comes in and briefly convinces all the other cops he's armed with a gun; Fowler, who knows full well he's just a pest, walks right up to him, 'disarms' him[[note]]his 'gun' turns out to be a spoon[[/note]] and tells him to get lost.
* AnnoyingLaugh: DC Kray', very much so.
* AwayInAManger: In "[[ChristmasEpisode Yuletide Spirit]]", a travelling hippie couple arrive in the station on Christmas Eve. Naturally, the woman is heavily pregnant and goes into labour.
* BeingPersonalIsntProfessional: Inspector Fowler at times , in one instance pointing out that, as his girlfriend wanted his advice partly as her commanding officer and partly as her boyfriend, he will have to give her one opinion now and one at lunch, as he is not being paid to be her boyfriend.
* BewareTheNiceOnes: Goody actually punches a skinhead for insulting Habib.
* BoldlyComing: Brought up briefly during the briefing in "Ism Ism Ism".
* BreakingTheFourthWall: The episodes of the second series started with Inspector Fowler delivering a short intro to the audience, often ending with a very strange simile.
* BrotherhoodOfFunnyHats: Parodied with Grim's group, "The Todgers", an exaggerated expy of the Masons whose rituals involve wearing a dress and kissing a frozen turkey's bottom.
* CampStraight: Constable Kevin Goody exhibits all the mannerisms of a CampGay (his actor, James Dreyfuss, fits this trope in RealLife) but is actually a DoggedNiceGuy to WPC Habib, whom he hits on in every episode (and is very surprised that his colleagues might have thought he was gay).
* TheCape: Raymond, or at least Raymond's self-image.
* CaptainMorganPose: Adopted by Brigadier Blaster Sump, much to his audience's horror as [[ManInAKilt he's wearing a kilt]].
* CatUpATree: "Oh dear. Well, have you tried putting a saucer of milk at the bottom of the tree?"
* ChainOfCorrections:
-->'''Goody:''' I don't want to buy the queen a present, sir, she's an antichrist.\\
'''Fouler:''' I beg your pardon!?\\
'''Goody:''' Oh, no, I mean [[Music/SexPistols anarchist]]. No, no, what's that name for someone who is out of date and does not matter anymore?\\
'''Habib:''' I think you mean an anachronism.\\
'''Goody:''' Yes, that's right, the Queen is an anachronism.\\
'''Gladstone:''' I though that was someone who was scared of spiders.\\
'''Fouler:''' No, no that is an arachnophobic.\\
'''Gladstone:''' I thought that was someone who was scared of wide open spaces.\\
'''Habib:''' No, that's agoraphobics, they can't handle going outside. Arachnophobics hate spiders.\\
'''Fouler:''' Look, we're talking about the Queen.\\
'''Goody:''' Is the Queen scared of spiders?\\
'''Gladstone:''' Well I wouldn't have thought so, but it is starting to look that way.\\
'''Goody:''' Perhaps that is why she is scared to go outside, sir.
* ChristmasEpisode: "Yuletide Spirit"
* ConstructionCatcalls: Used in an episode, where the woman is Sergeant Patricia Dawkins and winds up getting so irritated she arrests the lot of them for harassment.
* CordonBleughChef: Patricia. She seems incapable of cooking anything properly, and the best that Raymond can say about her food is that it is "intriguing".
* DeliveryGuyInfiltration: Inspector Fowler does this in an episode, to get into a bank robbery that has turned into a hostage situation.
* TheDitz: Constable Goody
* DoubleEntendre: Fowler and Grim make these all the time, usually [[ThatCameOutWrong unintentionally]].
** The show had what has to be one of the most {{egregious}} examples when Grim urges Fowler not to make any mistakes: "'cause you know what'll happen Raymond, don't you? It'll be your cock-up, my arse!" This phrase is also made as short as it can be while also displaying the importance of punctuation. "Your cock-up, my arse".\\\
The series as a whole seems rather fond of this joke. Compare; "It's my arse on the line here, and I don't want a cock-up!", and "I'll show them when Grim of Gasforth puts his arse on the line, they can't just stick [[VSign two fingers]] up!"\\\
It happens almost OncePerEpisode. The different variations on the same theme are actually quite inventive. Possibly it counts as a RunningGag.
** Fowler misty-eyed at Christmas as a kid, reducing Patricia to giggles "Dad would bring a fat bird home and tell mother to stuff it." (Bird being British slang for 'woman')
* DoubleStandardAbuseFemaleOnMale: After Patricia discovers the NotWhatItLooksLike example below, she goes for the rolling pin, and when he argues against her idea of having kids, she hits him with a fish.
* EngineeredPublicConfession: Parodied where the chief admits to Raymond Fowler that he faked some evidence. Raymond the triumphantly pulls out a rather large tape recorder from his pocket. But when he tries to play the confession, the tape just runs the workout-training that used to be on the tape. Another policeman then shows that you have to press both record and play at the same time to start recording, "I don't know why either". As an added bonus, the recorder is turned on during that demonstration, resulting in it recording some fierce InnocentInnuendo between Raymond and his ex-girlfriend. And the tape belonged to Raymond's wife, and she uses it for her workout at the end of the episode....
* {{Expy}}: In keeping with Ben Elton's stated influence from ''Series/DadsArmy'', several of the characters and their relationships are clearly based on those from the earlier show:
** Fowler is Captain Mainwaring (the pompous leader who's a bit ineffectual);
** Patricia is a combination of Sgt. Wilson and Mrs. Pike (both the long-suffering junior officer / comedic foil and the overly romantic love interest with a tendency to embarrass her lover with her overtures);
** Habib is Private Walker (the savvy, snarky and competent OnlySaneMan);
** Gladstone is Corporal Jones (the somewhat fuzzy-witted old-timer with easily-derailed thought processes and a tendency to ramble);
** Goody is Private Pike (the naive youngster with a tendency to irritate and embarrass the pompous leader);
** Grim is ARP Warden Hodges (the rival to the pompous leader who's equally pompous and ineffectual, but in an opposite sense).
* FiremenAreHot: One of these appeared in an episode. Maggie had the hots for a hunky firefighter who [[spoiler:unfortunately turned out to have the hots for her male colleague Kevin]]. HilarityEnsues.
* FootballHooligans: An episode of had the police being worried about a possible outbreak of football hooliganism due to a London team playing the local club. In arresting various troublemaking elements, they end up locking up the entire local club.
* FramingTheGuiltyParty: Done in the episode "Court In The Act": Inspector Grim is desperate to convict a drug dealer; his subordinate Boyle suggests that evidence can be found -- "found", in inverted commas. Inspector Fowler found out about the frame up and, unable to prove the drug dealer had been framed, he [[spoiler: told the criminal's barrister that Constable Kevin Goody, who found (he didn't know about the frameup) the planted evidence, was wearing a new uniform that wasn't an official police uniform, thus invalidating any incriminating evidence found during the search and allowing the drug dealer to get]] OffOnATechnicality.
* FrenchJerk: In one episode, everyone at the police station is forced to attend diversity training, but when they're instructed to arrest an illegal immigrant, they get the wrong guy - causing a major incident because he is actually the European Commissioner for Human Rights (and black.) The man turns out to be a French Jerk and instantly starts complaining about everything in Britain: "You British! No wonder we all hate you. Your chocolate isn't chocolatey enough. Your bananas are too long and bendy. And you insist on eating prawn cocktail crisps ''despite the fact that we have told you not to!''"
* FreudianSlip: After the sex therapist Fowler and Patricia are seeing starts ''stripping'' -- "Thank you, Constable Nipple."
* GodSaveUsFromTheQueen: The Mayor is the small-town version of this, a terrifying woman who wants to turn the town into "the sweatshop capital of Britain." On the other hand, Fowler at one point argues that the ''actual'' Queen of England is quite a BenevolentBoss, as bosses go.
* HaggisIsHorrible: Grim's "reasoning" when suspecting a domestic terrorist organization [[SdrawkcabAlias the St Neduts of Egelloc]] of being Scottish extremists
--> "If your national dish is a sheep's stomach your gonna be bitter aren't ya?"
* HoneyTrap: The episode "Honey Trap" was about Inspector Fowler and Detective Inspector Grim recruiting Constable Habib to catch a criminal [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin via a honey trap]]. [[spoiler: The ''criminal'' arrested her]].
* HypocriticalHumor:
** At one point, Grim is needling Raymond about his divorce and slightly distant relationship with his son, whom Raymond is worried is turning a bit wild. Grim makes a lot of hay about how he's a devoted family man who is always there for his sons. On an unrelated matter, guess who's loutish son just got arrested for disturbing the peace...? Raymond's son, incidentally, turns out to be studying to try and get into university; turns out Raymond's worries were a bit hyperactive anyway.
** "Ism Ism Ism" has Grim arguing against "weird customs and funny clothes" in the police force, then turns around and tries to demonstrate his initiation ceremony for the Todgers.
* IgnoreTheFanservice: Patricia tries to improve her sex life with Raymond by coming to bed in a silk nightie. Unfortunately, it doesn't get his attention until she mentions how much it cost...
* ImmodestOrgasm: The "noisy nymphomaniac" who appears in one episode tends to have ones that are ''so'' immodest that she keeps getting brought in for disturbing the peace. It doesn't help that she had the last one while having sex in her garden shed. ''[[DestructoNookie Which collapsed.]]''
* IncompatibleOrientation: An episode concerns Constable Maggie Habib meeting a handsome firefighter and trying everything to get into bed with him. In the end of the episode, it's revealed that he hasn't touched her because his interests were focused on her colleague, Constable Kevin Goody, who's spent the whole series pining after her. In the last scene they all sit at a pub musing about their love triangle woes.
* InMediasRes
* InnocentInnuendo:
** The conservative and idealistic Inspector Fowler from had a tendency to make statements containing innuendo that everyone except him could see.
-->"Ah, Christmas -- when Father brings home a plump bird for dinner and tells Mother to stuff it..."
--> "Have I said something amusing, Constable Habib?"
** And Inspector Grim when his job depended on an important operation.
--> Remember, it's your cockup, my arse!
* IronicEcho: When Fowler finally settles the ethical dilemma that's been troubling him over the HoneyTrap that Grim has set up and declares he wants no further part in the operation, Grim gloatingly replies that he'll hold Fowler to his promise that Grim will get 'full and complete credit' for the operation. Then, Habib drags the mark in, appearing to validate Grim -- until the mark points out that he's seen through Habib and has in fact dragged ''her'' in as part of a citizen's arrest. Fowler decides it a good time to remind Grim that he's now taking 'full and complete credit' for the operation.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Fowler's pompous, uptight and officious, but he means well and has a good heart underneath it all.
* TheJoyOfX
* JusticeByOtherLegalMeans: When an EngineeredPublicConfession doesn't work, Fowler gets the case thrown out by revealing that Goody was still wearing the prototype uniform that he was modelling when he found the planted evidence.
* MagicNegro: Constable Frank Gladstone, thankfully to a very mild degree.
* {{Malaproper}}: Inspector Grim. He once described a suspect as being "as slippery as an owl".
* MilitaryAlphabet: Subverted when it turns out to be requests for drinks from a pizza place. "Tango. Tango. Lilt and a Fanta."
* MistakenForAnImposter: After a succession of student pranks for Rag Week, Inspector Fowler single-handedly arrests (and insults) a group of armed, masked bank robbers, assuming it's another joke. During the robbery, Constable Goody is mistaken for a prankster by people who assume he's too young to be a real police officer.
* MistakenForCheating: Dawkins thinks Fowler and Habib are having an affair and parading it right in front of her, but it turns out that A. Raymond just wants Maggie on his pub quiz team and B. Maggie is also being set up as a HoneyTrap in the episode of the same name. While it is true that Fowler kissed Habib, it was a completely platonic spur-of-the-moment thing when she won the previous pub quiz for their team.
* MistakenForGay: Constable Goody suffers badly from this trope. His speech, his mannerisms, his hobbies (gladiators) and many of the things he says give off the distinct impression that he's as gay as Christmas wrapper paper. In fact, he only has one non-stereotypically-gay characteristic: He lusts after women.
* MistakenForRacist: When the Mayoress orders Raymond to arrest an illegal immigrant, she forgets to give him a description of what the man looks like, so he and his officers just arrest the man who opened the door. Unfortunately, he not only ''isn't'' the illegal alien, he's also black ''and'' the European Commissioner for Human Rights. Learning of the man's real identity, Raymond is horrified: "A ''[[AcceptableTargets Frenchman]]''? In ''my'' station?!"
* MixedMetaphor: Something Inspector Grim is good at. For example in the episode "Night Shift", he informs everyone that he is looking for:
-->A fat cat, spinning his web with his tentacles in every pie.
* MsFanservice: Habib in the episode "Honey Trap". Played for laughs, but at the same time quite a revelation given she is almost always otherwise seen in a conservative police uniform.
* MyBiologicalClockIsTicking: Patricia Dawkins.
* {{Nepotism}}: One episode has Grim wanting to join a secret society called the "Todgers". He proudly rattles off a list of why he thinks they are better than the Freemasons, including better costumes and ceremonies -- until Fowler chips in with "... and better nepotism."
* NoodleIncident: Several references are made to Gladstone's marriage, including his objecting at his own ceremony.
* [[NotWhatItLooksLike Not What It Sounds Like]]: After Boyle sets Fowler straight (see EngineeredPublicConfession), the Mayoress comes in, looking for a plea bargain. The conversation, in which she demands that Raymond "give it [the plea bargain] to me" and his assurances that she'll be "more than satisfied" (with the loophole of Goody wearing an unofficial uniform during the bust) [[WeShouldGetAnotherTape gets recorded over Patricia's morning workout]].
* ObliviousGuiltSlinging: While talking about the teenager they picked up for "joy-riding" in "Night Shift", Goody rambles briefly about the trouble broken families lead to before remembering that Fowler is a divorced father.
* ObliviousToLove: Strangely, while Fowler and Dawkins have been together for ten years, he doesn't seem to be aware of her advances at times. Clearly Patricia loves Raymond, and he must return her affections otherwise they wouldn't be in a relationship, but it seems that to him she's just... there. This is at least in part because Fowler both believes very heavily in professionalism and maintaining an official distance at all times and is incredibly repressed and poor at expressing emotions in an almost stereotypically British fashion.
* ObstructiveBureaucrat: Fowler. To be fair, his rigid adherence to proper procedure is rooted in a heartfelt belief in things like due process, rule of law, work ethics and other [[BoringButPractical unglamourous but socially beneficial principles]]. He just has a tendency to take it a ''teensy'' bit too far at times....
* OddCouple: Ironically, despite Fowler's page quote above, he has his own Odd Couple-style relationship with Grimm, the CID inspector. Fowler is the ByTheBookCop Parody who acts like he's in ''Series/DixonOfDockGreen'', Grimm is the Wannabe CowboyCop who thinks he's in ''Series/TheSweeney''.
* OldFashionedCopper
** Derek Grim acts the part with his loathing of modern "fannying about", but is mostly a wannabe, not to mention a buffoon.
** Fowler's an even more old-fashioned cop; he, however, is old-fashioned in the ''Series/DixonOfDockGreen'' fashion.
* OneDialogueTwoConversations: Twice, both involving Goody. The first is when Fowler accidentally gets the gift of lingerie he'd meant for Habib, and the second is when he tries to decide whether or not to go to an illegal lock-in.
* OnlySaneMan: Although Fowler ''usually'' has his head screwed on straight enough, Habib's a lot more down-to-earth and self-aware.
* OrAreYouJustHappyToSeeMe: PC Maggie Habib is getting into character for an entrapment operation, and uses the line on PC Kevin Goody - a naive manchild type character with a crush on her. After collapsing in embarrassment, he replies that "Actually, it's a Curly-Wurly" (chocolate bar)
* OurSloganIsTerrible: The town had the slogan "It's not as bad as you think".
* PlayingATree: Inspector Fowler is a bit luckier: in the annual Peter Pan performance at Christmas, he always gets the part of the crocodile who swallowed a clock. Tick. Tock.
** He does, however, end up literally playing a tree in a training role-play exercise in another episode. A tree to which his fellow officers pretend to tie themselves in the role of militant environmentalists. He really gets into the role.
* PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad: An episode parodied this, with Fowler ordered to get everyone at the station up to standard on political correctness. He makes a series of embarrassingly awful attempts to express enlightened views about race, gender and sexuality: "That would be the pot calling the kettle ... er ... African-American!" Even more absurd in that the series is set in Britain.
* ProtestByObstruction: In one episode, the officers go to break up a group protesting the building of a bypass. Officer Goody encounters one protester who has tied herself to a tree, and ends up joining her.
* RightBehindMe: In the episode "Fly on the Wall", the precinct is being filmed for a documentary on what usually happens at police stations. Inspector Fowler isn't keen on this at all, and thinking that he isn't being recorded, expresses to his officers what he really feels about the crew being there, not realizing in the middle of his rambling they've come up behind him, despite subtle hints from his fellow officers.
** His reaction when he does notice them? To smile sheepishly and say [[OrSoIHeard "At least that's what I've heard".]]
* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: One of the many ways Grim mangles the English language.
* SleepingWithTheBoss: Sergeant Dawkins is Inspector Fowler's live-in girlfriend. Given Fowler's outlook on his duties, however, this is not a major issue. At one point he offers Dawkins some advice, half now (as her senior officer) and half when he is on break (as her boyfriend, as he is not being paid to advise people as their boyfriends and so cannot do so during work hours.).
* SmallNameBigEgo: Derek Grim.
* SpyTuxReveal: Played with. Sergeant Patricia Dawkins falls for a radical environmentalist, only to find he's an MI5 AgentProvocateur when he comes out of Inspector Fowler's office wearing a Film/JamesBond tuxedo.
* StrictlyFormula
* StripperCopConfusion: An episode had two officers investigate a man who had the curtains closed for a few days, causing neighbours to be worried about him. Since he was hiring prostitutes, he thought the police officer was one of them, and was better choice than the nurse.
* SureLetsGoWithThat: The episode "Honey Trap" featured Detective Inspector Derek Grim and Inspector Raymond Fowler using Constable Maggie Habib as a Honey Trap to capture a criminal. Fowler's girlfriend, Sergeant Patricia Dawkins, thought he and Maggie were having an affair. In retaliation, Dawkins broke something valuable to Fowler, who claimed it represented all the values he stands for. She then replied he doesn't stand for any and mentions knowing what he and Maggie are doing. Wrongly believing she figured out about the Honey Trap, he comments about it, revealing to her the truth. She then let him think he was right, and he tells her he agrees with her reaction.
* SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: Kray was replaced with Boyle for series two. The general opinion is that Boyle was a lot funnier.
* TakeMeInstead: The episode "Fire and Terror" ends with a ''double'' Take Me Instead, the second instance throwing Gary the gay fireman out of the closet.
-->'''Lunatic''': I'm armed, and I'm dangerous, and I'm gonna take a hostage
-->'''Habib''': Take me!
-->'''Goody''': No Maggie! You’re too beautiful to die! Take me!
-->'''Gary''': No Kev! You’re too beautiful to die! Take me!
* TakeThat:
** "There's a place for fatuous flippant would-be humorous inanities, and that place is on ''Series/NoelsHouseParty''."
** "There is a place for smutty innuendo, Constable Kray, and that place is on ''Series/BirdsOfAFeather''."
* TalkingInBed
* TerribleIntervieweesMontage: In the episode "Honey Trap", Inspector Fowler attempts to find someone who can replace Constable Habib in the upcoming trivia contest. He resorts to the perps in the detention room. Fat chance.
* ThatCameOutWrong:
** Raymond Fowler. Take this example from "Kids Today", in which he fondly describes his childhood Mechano sets, much to Habib's amusement:
--->'''Fowler:''' They'll never know the joy a young lad can have sitting alone in his room... with his tool in his hand, tightening his little nuts.
** Grim: "It's my arse on the line and I don't want a cock-up!" and [[RunningGag many]] variations.
* ThirtyMinutesOrItsFree: Inspector Fowler says this while pretending to be a pizza delivery boy so he can gain access to a bank where robbers are holding people hostage.
* TitleDrop: In the very first episode of.
-->'''Fowler:''' In the grand order of life there are but two forces: those of order, and those of chaos. And between them there lies us, the thin blue line.
--> (Goody immediately points out that that means three forces.)
* TokenMinority: Habib (Asian and Muslim) and Gladstone (black Caribbean). Of course, this is modern day London, so an ethnically diverse workplace makes sense.
* TriangRelations: An episode uses type 2 of this plot:
-->'''Habib:''' So you fancy Kevin, Kevin fancies me, and I fancy you?
* WeAllLiveInAmerica: Inspector Fowler, chief of a British Police station, attempts to teach his men the importance or political correctness, and at one point utters, "That would be the pot calling the kettle... errr, African-American." Almost certainly intentional, to [[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad show how over the top he is being.]] "Black" isn't even considered offensive in the UK when applied to people of African descent, isn't offensive ''anywhere'' when used as a purely descriptive adjective to describe the colour of an object, and the correct term if he was being really careful would be "Afro-Caribbean" (since fallen out of use because most British black people now either think of themselves as completely British or skipped the "Caribbean" part).
* WeShouldGetAnotherTape: In one episode, Inspector Fowler attempts to record Inspector Grim confessing to [[FramingTheGuiltyParty planting evidence]], but when he triumphantly plays back the cassette, all they hear is his girlfriend's work-out routine. Boyle, Grim's crony, points out that Fowler needed to push down "play" and "record" for it to work. At the [[BrickJoke end of the episode]], as Patricia does her work-out, she hears what was recorded afterwards: [[MistakenForCheating the mayoress apparently propositioning Fowler]].
* WikiWalk: Constable Frank Gladstone is a master of this, often omitting the intervening steps and just announcing his seemingly random conclusions to his perplexed comrades. For example: His theory behind rampant graffiti?...[[InsaneTrollLogic Fridge magnets and the parents who use them to put their toddler's childish drawings on the fridge as adorable mementos, which causes the now teen kids to use graffiti as a method of gaining that familiar adoration from standing around the fridge.]]
* WomenAreWiser: Habib, and to a lesser extent Patricia, are more sensible and less often the butt of jokes than the male characters.
* YaoiFangirl: Constable Maggie Habib is very keen on the homoerotic aspects of football and in one episode speculates on the relationship between both Literature/{{Biggles}} and Ginger and SherlockHolmes and Dr Watson ("sometimes there's months between cases - what do they do then?"). The somewhat old-fashioned Fowler is horrified ("They chat! They [[InnocentInnuendo smoke their pipes!]]").
* YouWatchTooMuchX: Grim wants to buy a water cooler for the CID, Fowler responds "you just want to walk around with a paper cup in your hand like an American police officer. You watch too much television".