->"''I am the image and likeness of God, I am I am I am, I am the image and likeness of God, I am I am I am...''"
-->-- '''Albert Hermann''', first reader

->"''It's the most bizarre, horrible, extraordinary piece of Christian puppeteering I think you'll ever see.''"
-->-- '''Andy Nyman''' on a episode of ''Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe''

''The Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson Program'' was a Los Angeles Public Access program run by songwriter, singer and puppeteer David Liebe Hart. Spanning an [[LongRunner impressive run of nearly 20 years]], ''The Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson Program'' [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin was just that]] -- a Christian [[ForScience scientist]] Children's Program. It featured Liebe Hart controlling a cast of animal puppets and ventriloquist dummies while delivering lectures on the dangers of alcohol and drugs, Bible hymns in which said puppets would sing, and very, very strange video editing and visual effects. It has been hailed as the most bizarre children's program ever conceived.

Each episode featured a SpecialGuest who would give an affirmation for kids on the dangers of drugs, and would help Liebe read passages from Literature/TheBible and sing with the puppets. The cast of puppets included "head reader" Albert Hermann, Chip The Black Boy, Teddy Eddy and several others.

According to many accounts, the show exuded a certain hypnotic charm. The puppets, as creepy and frightening as some of them were, are very funny to watch, The show itself is fun to laugh at in kind of a SoBadItsGood kind of way, granted you can sit through the lengthy sermons and Anvilicious anti-drug sentiments read by [[HypocriticalHumor people who look like drugged-out hippies]].

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!!Tropes:

* ChromaKey: Abused heavily, to the point where parts of cast members and puppets will be bluescreened out and [[DisneyAcidSequence amazing technicolor backgrounds]] used rampantly. To note, in some episodes, Liebe Hart's name isn't legible in the post-credits sequence due to the severely-dark blue background.
* ConspiracyTheorist: Liebe Hart believes the Catholic Church, mainline Protestant churches, and the Jewish people teamed up to [[https://youtu.be/TYxQqsIA8V8?t=2997 erase aliens from the Bible]]. Furthermore, he believes the U.S. government is covering up aliens' existence while also [[https://youtu.be/46CDoxMBZlA?t=131 using all their technology]].
* CreepyDoll: Albert Hermann and Chip The Black Boy
* DrugsAreBad: Don't do the drugs there.
* FriendlyNeighborhoodVampire: Underground Legend Count Smokula makes a few appearances with his accordion. The idea of a blood-sucking creature of the night who smokes tobacco on a largely anti-drug Christian show is a sizable LogicBomb.
* FunnyAnimal: Though not the way they intended.
* FunnyBackgroundEvent: Likely unintentional. Whenever they're not the focus, the puppets will often just stand stock-still... or in [[https://youtu.be/tLCvFBQkv_I?si=flG75wlOf7rAqyvR at least one case]], slump against the podium as if asleep or dead.
* LongRunner: The show amassed thousands of episodes over a 20-year timespan, with plenty of topics covered and appearances by special guests.
* MelismaticVocals: Reserved for the Bible hymns.
* OncePerEpisode:
** Liebe will ask the SpecialGuest: "Do you have an affirmation to teach kids to say no to drinking and drugs?"
** "We have the very talented ________ on today!"
* OnlySaneMan: Adam Papagan was the only recurring guest to both acknowledge the absurdity of the show and question it (for example, [[https://youtu.be/Kz5OeG8wH8U?t=352 here]]).
* {{Opera}}: Liebe Hart's preferred singing style.
* SpecialGuest: Tim and Eric from the [[Series/TimAndEricAwesomeShowGreatJob titular series of the same name]], along with various public access hosts (Count Smokula, Francine Dancer) and other media personalities.
* StylisticSuck
* SurrealHumor: Anti-drug lectures delivered by a talking panda bear, puppets that are demonstrably falling apart, [[RealLifeWritesThePlot references]] to Hart's ex-wife and background, [[BreakingTheFourthWall fourth-wall breaking]] comments and surreal musical performances make it unintentionally funnier than most other public access shows.

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