[[quoteright:300:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/300px-the_colbert_report.jpg]]

->''"Some people promise to read the news to you. I promise to ''feel'' the news ''at'' you."''
%% One quote is sufficient. Please place additional entries on the quotes tab.

''The Colbert Report'' (pronounced Col-''[[ItsPronouncedTroPAY bear]]'' Re-''[[GratuitousFrench pore]]'') is the Emmy award winning (Best Writing - Variety, 2008, 2010, and 2013; Best Variety, 2013) SpinOff from ''Series/TheDailyShow'', featuring the screen persona of news anchor Creator/StephenColbert. The show operates as a parody of news talk programs such as ''Series/TheOReillyFactor''. (When the show was pitched as "Stephen Colbert parodying Bill O'Reilly", it was picked up immediately without even a pilot.) It airs on Creator/ComedyCentral.

The character of Colbert himself can be best described as a StrawmanPolitical of a news pundit, a mega-conservative who embodies all the stereotypes about conservative people in one convenient shell; indeed, most of Colbert's political jokes are little more than strawman-arguments of the opposition. Much like its progenitor, it [[NewsParody reads the real news in a humorous tone]]. It's also coined the words "truthiness" and "wikiality". The latter one is a portmanteau of {{Wikipedia}} and reality: basically the practice of RewritingReality by bringing democracy to information. "If enough people agree on it, it becomes true" -- the example given being Colbert's assertion that elephant populations had tripled since 31 January 2006.[[note]]HilariousInHindsight -- the elephant population of South Africa has ballooned to the point where they are [[http://www.wdwpublicaffairs.com/ImageGallery.aspx?PageId=4d280015-0f67-4e9e-b32e-fa56a183a69c being given vasectomies by the Elephant Management Program.]][[/note]]

Differs from its mother show in that it's a kind of SitCom with guest stars playing themselves and a funny premise. Whereas ''Series/TheDailyShow'' is mainly Jon Stewart reading the news and making funny observations, ''The Colbert Report'' revolves around a character and his interaction with the real world. There are recurring characters and plot points (such as Colbert's broken wrist). Indeed, [[EarlyInstallmentWeirdness during the show's first year of existence]], Colbert even had a fictional ArchEnemy in the form of fellow comedian Creator/DavidCross, who played fictional liberal talking head "Russ Lieber" before the character was written out of the series.

It should probably be noted ([[DontExplainTheJoke or perhaps not]]) that Stephen Colbert, the fake news anchor, is, in fact, a character that Stephen Colbert, professional comedian, is playing. He does not believe the views he espouses on the show ([[StrawmanHasAPoint for the most part]]), and has referred to the character as "a well-meaning, poorly informed, high-status idiot."

The ''Colbert Report'' is set to end in 2014, so Colbert can replace Creator/DavidLetterman as host of the ''Late Show'' in 2015. Fellow ''Daily Show'' contributor Larry Wilmore will take the ''Colbert Report'''s spot with his own spinoff ''The Minority Report''.

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!!This show contains examples of:

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[[folder:A-D]]
* AffectionateParody: Of political news commentators, mostly FoxNews.
* AirGuitar: In the beginning of every 'Sport Report' segment Stephen rocks out on the air guitar. [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/183198/july-31-2007/sport-report---barry-bonds At one point he points out that he can play air guitar even with a broken wrist.]]
* ArmouredClosetGay: Stephen [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/414120/may-10-2012/barack-obama-s-gay-blasphemy confirms that he works out to "prevent gay strokes."]]
--> '''Stephen''': I'm hitting the gym, getting pretty cut. And I'm shedding pounds by not cooking with butter. Instead I use it to grease up my body when I work out. That way, none of those stroke gays, or stro-mos as we call them at the gym, can get a handle on me.
* AlterEgoActing: Colbert in character and Colbert out of character are two ''very'' different people.
* AltumVidetur: Stephen's fireplace has '[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esse_quam_videri VIDERI QUAM ESSE]]' engraved on it. Appropriately enough, the fireplace houses a monitor that displays an image of flickering burning logs.
* AmazingTechnicolorWildlife: The CGI eagle from the opening credits got a red-white-and-blue makeover in later seasons.
* AnalogyBackfire:
** Stephen turns Rick Santorum's Iraq War ''LordOfTheRings'' analogy into a an analogy backfire. Can be seen [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/76932/october-18-2006/santorum-s-iraqi-lord-of-the-rings here.]] Since Stephen is a big [[http://www.jerriblank.com/colbert_nytimes.html LOTR fan]], he probably couldn't wait to sink his teeth into that one.
** Republican politician Andre Bauer compared poor people to animals which is an analogy backfire on its own, but [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/262595/january-26-2010/andre-bauer-is-not-against-animals Stephen of course made it even more of a backfire by following the analogy to its logical conclusion.]]
** "I'm as straight as the Mississippi!"
* AnalProbing: A segment about an "Alien Hunter," Derrel Simms, sees Mr. Simms recount a story about him being probed by aliens in his youth. After describing the alien probe [[FreudWasRight in very phallic terms]], Colbert interrupts him in a voice over just before Simms was about to say where the probe was "jammed very painfully," exclaiming, "Okay, that's enough; I think we ''all'' know where the probe goes." Simms then reveals that it went into [[spoiler: [[SubvertedTrope his nasal passage.]]]]
* AnatomicallyImpossibleSex: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/247265/august-20-2009/stephen-s-sound-advice---how-to-make-babies Stephen gives advice on how to make babies and he gets quite a few things wrong.]]
* AnimalNemesis: Colbert loathes bears.
* AnimateInanimateObject: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/247151/august-19-2009/barney-frank-refuses-to-talk-to-a-dining-room-table Stephen is defeated in a health care reform debate by a table and a desklamp.]] He is the only one who can hear them though.
* ArchEnemy: It changes from time to time:
** Early episodes featured David Cross playing Russ Lieber, a liberal inversion of Colbert's character, who over-thinks everything and is so hesitant to offend that he can't make a single statement without backpedaling.
** [[KoreanPopMusic Korean pop star]] Rain, who became Stephen's arch-nemesis due to [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter taking cruel pleasure in beating him at things]].
** KanyeWest has held this title.
** In one of his ''[[Series/TheDailyShow Daily Show]]/Colbert Report'' conversations at the end of the ''Daily Show'', Colbert claimed that his original arch enemy from his ''Daily Show'' years, Creator/SteveCarell, continues to hold the position as well.
** Previously and briefly held by Helen Thomas.
** Eleanor Holmes Norton.
** StephenHawking is such an A-hole.
** James Franco is now his renaissance enemy. Or renemy.
** ''MANILOW!''
** BEARS!
** [[BigWordShout NIBIRUUUUU!]]
** ''STEWART!''
** ''[[JimmyFallon FALLON!]]''
** At one point, Stephen had a "war" with, of all things, Miracle Whip. It looks like it begun on October 15, 2009, [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/252726/october-15-2009/the-mayo-lution-will-not-be-televised when Stephen "attacked" the Miracle Whip commercials.]] In response, Miracle Whip bought ad space on every commercial break during his November 12 show and well... [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensued.]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr9s8WO2t4M Now here's some cool people dancing.]] And then there's Stephen's [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/255250/november-12-2009/miracle-whip-buys-ad-space response]], which points out how Miracle Whip buying ad space on his show would give him money that he could use to buy more delicious [[HoistByHisOwnPetard mayo]].
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: "I am ... [an] Emmy winner, Grammy winner, Peabody winner, and Free Pepsi winner."
** "Folks, there is a lot of depressing news out there. Chemical weapons in Syria, radiation in Fukushima, ''Series/BreakingBad'' is ending."
* ArtisticLicenseMilitary: Seriously, that drill Sergeant couldn't wait to get rid of him.
* AsianSpeekeeEngrish: Ching Chong Ding Dong, who spouts stereotypical lines like, "Ooooh, me rikey tea!" Colbert freely admits that the character is extremely racist, but he's not racist for performing the character, because Ching Chong Ding Dong is speaking ''through'' him.
* AsTheGoodBookSays: Taken UpToEleven. [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/59606/february-27-2006/the-de-deification-of-the-american-faithscape "I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth..."]] Stephen Colbert really is a devout Catholic (he even teaches Sunday School, presumably why he can recite the Nicene Creed from memory).
* AttackOfTheKillerWhatever: A Styrofoam cup which Stephen had irradiated for several days in a microwave (to demonstrate the [[StrawmanPolitical Libertarian]] opposition to [[DontTryThisAtHome safety regulations]]) apparently grew to human-like size, developed limbs, and came back to attack him. On the show's website, the clip is marked ''[[RevengeOfTheSequel Revenge of the Styrofoam Cups]]''.
* AttentionWhore: Mocked. Stephen inverts the traditional interview, where the subject comes onto the set to a round of applause. Instead, the subject sits in a corner of the set and Stephen does a victory lap to get the applause for himself before beginning the interview.
* AwardSnub: [[invoked]] Stephen regularly invokes this, complaining about the show or the man himself not winning awards, some of which ''he wouldn't even qualify for''.
* BackgroundHalo: done deliberately; when the camera is facing Colbert's desk straight-on, stars circle his head.
* TheBackwardsR: "Cold War Update", done in faux Cyrillic.
* BaitAndSwitchComment
-->'''Colbert''': (on ''NinjaAssassin'') "Yeah, impressive, but you know who you didn't see in that video? Me! ({{beat}}) Who's the better ninja now?"

--> '''Colbert''': I am on the South Carolina Republican primary like white ... on the Republican primary.
* BaitAndSwitchComparison
-->'''Colbert''': We have a broadcast legend ... who will be interviewing Tom Brokaw.
* BearsAreBadNews: Almost always making number one on his "Threat Down".
* BerserkButton: During an [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/267561/march-17-2010/nell-irvin-painter interview with Neil Irvin Painter]] she refers to the Scots Irish as properly Irish. Colbert promptly corrects (2:10) her with: "There's no Irish blood in Scots-Irish People. They are Scottish Presbyterians, who were given land in Ireland. THEY TOOK OUR LAND AND DROVE MY PEOPLE ACROSS THE RIVER SHANNON, WHERE WE WERE FORCED TO FARM ''ROCKS'' BY OLIVER CROMWELL AND I WILL SEE HIM ROT IN HELL BEFORE YOU CALL SCOTS-IRISH PEOPLE IRISH! ''DO YOU WANNA FIGHT?!''" Then they arm wrestle.
** ''Do not'' steal his Super PAC money (Creator/JonStewart) or call him out on pointless spending (Nancy Pelosi)- he ''will'' chase you down and make you pay.
* BigNo: Colbert is ''extremely'' fond of this trope. For example, after seeing how terrible he looks in [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/213635/december-10-2008/threatdown---happiness pink]].
--> '''Stephen:''' I LOOK TERRIBLE IN PINK! I'M A WINTER!
** Also, when sugar runs low, he panics and tears into a ''whole bag.''
* BigOlEyebrows: Not physically big, but his eyebrows are often {{Large Ham}}s in their own right.
* BizarroUniverse:
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/104543/october-02-2007/the-word---troops-out-now When Stephen was discussing parallel universes]], he was suddenly replaced with a long-haired pipe-smoking hippie counterpart who wanted to solve the Iraq war by making everyone share M&M's and hug each other. Also, Esteban Colberto who in our universe hosts the Spanish News/Variety show "Colberto Reporto Gigante" complete with "Chicas".
** Also a brief ImagineSpot where the Colbert Report apparently went into [[SugarWiki Sweet Mode]], pink shirt, big smile, the works. [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/213635/december-10-2008/threatdown---happiness Can be seen at the end of this clip]]
** And the EvilTwin universe shown in an interview clip (although there were indications that it was just Evil Twin Colbert interviewing the normal-interviewee-wearing-facial-hair).
** And when he had Steve Carell on, it was introduced as the "Carell Corral", as Stephen had gone to Hollywood, while Steve had gotten his own show... but [[AllJustADream it was all just a dream]]. OrWasItADream? [[BodyHorror {reveal horse hoof hand}]] [[BigNo NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!]]
* BlackBestFriend. [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/24370/october-25-2005/the-word---overrated First used here.]]
* BlackComedy: on his 6/27/2013 show, in response to Mayor Bloomburg wanting to ban sparklers from the 4th of July celebrations, Stephen got his fire marshal to wear an uncle Sam style hat and fake beard and hold a lit sparkler. It then cuts to technical difficulties, followed by Stephen comforting said fire marshal's wife, and then lighting a sparkler as a way to mourn her. Technical difficulties show up again, then we see Stephen comforting the couple's two children before giving them sparklers to play with. As they walk off, he yells "Oh, and kids, remember those need parental super-...they'll be fine."
* TheBlindLeadingTheBlind: Stephen lives this trope, but it is especially highlighted in the ''Stephen's Sound Advice'' segments.
* BrassBalls: Creator/StephenColbert talks about his brass balls quite often. They're the only thing that give him the guts to speak [[StrawmanPolitical the truth]].
* BreakingTheFourthWall
** During his appearance on the show in September 2011, AlGore mentioned Colbert's "character." Holding back laughter, Colbert responded: "My character? [[ObfuscatingStupidity What the hell are you talking about]], sir? ... Well, 'Al Gore', thank you so much for joining us." Later when he signed off, Colbert said, air quotes included, "For ''The Colbert Report,'' [[BrickJoke I'm 'Stephen Colbert.']] "
* BrickJoke: Because segments of "The Word" take so long to get back to the initial Word, it sometimes takes the viewer by surprise.
** Also a RunningGag. Michael Stipe (formerly of R.E.M.) lives on Stephen's bookshelf.
* ButtMonkey:
** Poor Bobby.
*** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/181280/december-05-2005/apology Stephen humiliates Bobby for mixing up two photos.]]
*** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/60608/march-21-2006/employee-performance-reviews Stephen performs a humiliating employee performance review with Bobby.]]
** Tad also had moments of this.
** Jay the Intern
* {{Callback}}
--> In the May 10, 2012 episode, Stephen tells a story of a monkey who had accidentally swallowed a peanut, causing the zookeeper to lick the monkey's butt (in order for the monkey to defecate). At the end of the episode, Stephen pulls out a can of Planter's.
* CallingTheOldManOut: Aimed at idol "Papa Bear" Bill O'Reilly. PlayedForLaughs.
* CannotSpitItOut: In this [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/250604/september-29-2009/cheating-death---snus---placebo-effect hilarious Cheating Death]] segment.
* CanisLatinicus: The motto for his Iraq shows? "Veritasiness."
* CargoShip: In-universe, Colbert is ''very'' attached to his gun, Sweetness, caressing it, whispering to it and kissing it whenever he brings it out.
* CatchPhrase:
** George Bush: great president or greatest president?
** X or Y? Pick a side, we're at war.
** Tons of variations on this:
--> ...that's a fact, and nothing can convince me otherwise. [a beat] Here to convince me otherwise...
** "Checkmate!" or "I just nailed you." when interviewing people he disagrees with. Sometimes when the audience is clapping for the guest he'll say "I haven't nailed him yet but thanks."
** "[X], please!"
** Whenever a guest agrees with him (usually on a very minor point) "Apology accepted"
** At the beginning of shows: "Nation, in here, out there..."
** "This is America."
** "I don't see race, people tell me I'm white and I believe them because I "
** "Nation, anyone who watches this show regularly knows that I love/hate "
** "Tonight on 'Better Know a District, the Xth,' THE FIGHTIN' XTH!"
** "Once again, my apologies to Doris Kearns Goodwin."
** Anything on the internet: "Ron Paul 2012!"
** "If you watch this show, and I hope you do..."
* CelebrityIsOverrated: Stephen doesn't think so. "[[StudioAudience You people]] are like water in the desert."
* CharacterBlog: The [[https://twitter.com/StephenAtHome @stephenathome]] twitter.
* ChessWithDeath: The "Cheating Death" segments begin with a brief black and white clip (a la ''TheSeventhSeal'') of Stephen [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin cheating]] [[TheGrimReaper Death]] in some game. Usually they're playing chess and Stephen uses LookADistraction to switch pieces around, but every so often he's running a three-card monte game instead.
* ChekhovsGun: An unintentional one in [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/127665/october-31-2007/obama-s-grit-off-challenge this episode]] when Stephen forgot about the mousetrap that he had placed on his desk earlier in the show.
* ChinaTakesOverTheWorld: Alluded to in [[http://www.indecisionforever.com/2011/06/30/listen-live-to-stephen-colberts-speech-at-the-fec/?xrs=share_red this clip.]]
* ChristmasSpecial: "A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All"
** BadassSanta: Santa wrestles with, then manages to kill, a bear.
** BearsAreBadNews: [[ZigzaggedTrope Zigzagged]]. The bear traps Stephen in his cabin, eats Elvis Costello, sings with everyone, makes out with Stephen, then tries to eat him.
** ChristmasSongs: "Another Christmas Song", which is all about getting people to buy "Another Christmas Song" so Stephen can collect the royalties. Also an AntiChristmasSong performed by Toby Keith, about the alleged [[StrawmanPolitical left-wing]] "war on Christmas" and how [[PatrioticFervor real Americans]] will [[StuffBlowingUp fight back]].
** LetsDuet: Stephen duets with Music/WillieNelson, [[Series/TheDailyShow Jon Stewart]], and Music/ElvisCostello.
** SavingChristmas: ...for him.
** SeriousBusiness: For Music/JohnLegend it's all about the nutmeg. Also works as a great double entendre.
--->I'm gonna go find a meg so I can nut it!
** SpecialEffectsFailure: [[InvokedTrope on purpose]], and in buckets.
** StylisticSuck: as an AffectionateParody of the variety-show Christmas specials from TheFifties to TheEighties, all ChromaKey sequences are done as crudely as possible.
** UnderTheMistletoe: A running gag. Stephen ends up under the mistletoe with everyone who comes inside his cabin except Santa and Elvis, but only ends up kissing the aforementioned bear, everyone else finding a way out of it.
* ClipShow: The Global Editions, though a couple include original sketches.
* CloudCuckoolander: His unique interpretation of current events.
* ClusterFBomb: French-Canadian [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute Stephane Colbert]].
* ChromaKey:
** Formidable Opponent, in which Stephen debates himself, and the Green Screen Challenges.
** The green-screen "window" during the Vancouver segments, which started out with a normal view of the city, went up into a blimp, then went into NBC's studios ('''Brian Williams''': Will you go away?!).
** Also when interviewing a Wisconsin Senator in [[strike:Chicago]] 20 Million BC.
* ChurchOfHappyology: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/220648/march-04-2009/space-module--colbert---scientology-s-new-galactic-overlord Colbert declared himself the New Galactic Overlord. He wears a shiny cape.]]
* ClipShow: The Global Edition.
* ColdWar: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/215950/january-13-2009/cold-war-update---cuba The Cold War Update Segments.]]
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: His whole talk show ''revolves'' around this.
* TheComicallySerious: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/video/hans+beinholtz "German Ambassador" Hans Beinholtz.]]
* CompanionCube: Sweetness, a gun which Colbert treats like a cross between [[Series/RedDwarf Mr. Flibble]] and [[HandPuppet Sooty]].
** And Ham-Rove, a canned pressed ham with glasses that came about because [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Rove Karl Rove]] looks like one.
* ConeOfShame: Stephen wears one while recovering from a broken wrist. He attempts to pour drugs into his mouth. One wonders how he got the bottle open.
* ConspiracyTheorist: In one segment, Colbert profiles a man named Andrew who claims that, in 1967, he was teleported to Mars in a top secret government CIA project that teleported hundreds of children. The man's roommate was apparently President BarackObama. The next part is about a birth certificate conspiracy theorist who thinks that Obama was married to his college roommate. Colbert then combines the two to claim that Obama was in a gay marriage with Andrew.
* CookingDuel: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/156555/may-05-2008/rain-dance-off Stephen's epic dance duel with Rain]], which is apparently the only universally accepted way to challenge someone and how all conflicts are solved.
* CoolGun: Stephen's .38 caliber [[RevolversAreJustBetter revolver]] "Sweetness", a "trigger-happy" and very talkative (at least, to Stephen) firearm who has shot quite a few audience members by accident.
** If by "a few audience members", you mean the same audience member every time, same bullet wounds and all. Even he wonders why he keeps sitting there.
* CoolSword: [[TheLordOfTheRings And˙ril]].
* {{Corpsing}}: Stephen tends to break character and laugh over some of the more ridiculous lines, or at least grin the whole time he's saying them. There is an actual video tag on his site called [[http://www.colbertnation.com/video/tag/cracks+up "cracks up"]] for when he does this. He and Jon Stewart have done this to each other quite often; if one of them loses it, the other will soon follow.
** An extreme case: when combining the names of celebrities who are in relationships, for William H Macy and Felicity Huffman, he corpsed for a minute before finally spitting out the result: Filliam H Muffman.
* CouchGag:
** The introductory text that appears next to Stephen also changes on occasion. This has ranged from words such as "Megamerican" to "Lincolnish", "Libertease", and "SCILF."
** Before the Vancouver shows "Sponsored by Verizon. They paid for this."
** After Hurricane Sandy hit the Tri-State area, the phrase "Text '[[UsefulNotes/TheRedCross Red Cross]]' to 90999."
* CowboyBebopAtHisComputer: Comparing John Kasich's Cabinet to the Series/MightyMorphinPowerRangers, if they were all the White Ranger. They made a big deal about him having a LongLostSibling [[MagicalNativeAmerican on an Indian reservation]] and [[UnfortunateImplications guess what color he was wearing at the time]]. Also, for having Green and White in the same picture.
* CriticalResearchFailure: Regularly invoked and PlayedForLaughs -- it's often obvious that Stephen has no idea what he's talking about when he covers an issue.
* CrowdChant: Stephen Colbert often leads his audience in chants of "U.S.A!" or "I was right!" in this rhythm. And, of course, the show usually starts with enthusiastic chants of "Ste-ven!"
%%* CrowningMomentOfAwesome: The man has plenty, documented [[Awesome/TheColbertReport here]].
%%* CrowningMomentOfFunny: Also [[Funny/TheColbertReport has its own page]].
* CryingWolf: Stephen warns about crying wolf or rather crying zombie in [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/187340/october-07-2008/threatdown---zombies the end of this clip]] about college students playing zombie tag. According to Stephen this game will leave us vulnerable when the rage virus escapes.
* {{Cult}}: "So congratulations Apple [on your new [=iPad=]]. Speaking of cults-- [Happyology]."
* CuteKitten: On March 5, 2009, while discussing the imploding U.S. Economy with Jim Cramer of CNBC, Colbert had videos of kittens and puppies playing behind Mr. Cramer, saying that this would make people feel better about the economy.
** He once brought an actual kitten onto the show to help accentuate a joke that involved ''[[MoralEventHorizon killing said kitten]]''- but, thankfully, it was PlayedForLaughs.
* CutenessProximity: Stephen normally [[AnimalNemesis hates and fears]] [[strike:bears]] [[BearsAreBadNews The Godless Killing Machines]], but pictures of cute little bear cubs invariably [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/84023/march-20-2007/threatdown---polar-bear-cub?videoId=84023 send him]] into hopeless BabyTalk. [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/168291/may-12-2008/threatdown---cute-bears An attempt]] to de-cuteinize one cub failed when putting the cub's face on bin Laden's body just made terrorism adorable.
** He couldn't help but admit that [[ArchEnemy Rain]] dressed up in a hedgehog costume was adorable. Or that Rain in general is adorable.
* DagwoodSandwich: After seeing a burger where the buns were replaced with grilled cheese sandwiches, Colbert contemplated a grilled cheese sandwich where the bread was replaced with grilled cheese sandwiches... ''ad infinitum''. "Prepare yourselves nation, for I have invented... [[CrowningMomentOfFunny The Mobius Melt]]", a sandwich that you theoretically cannot stop eating. He then recalls his other favorite fractal sandwich, the "Mandelbrot BLT -- the more you zoom in, the more bacon there is. What will explode first, your heart, or your mind?"
* ADateWithRosiePalms: The cure for Restless Leg Syndrome is [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/382616/april-25-2011/cheating-death---vaxa-international--lap-band-surgery---restless-leg-syndrome Restless Hand Syndrome]]
* DeadpanSnarker: Stephen is frequently snarky, but rarely deadpan. The captions during The Word segments, however, frequently take dry sarcasm [[UpToEleven up to eleven]].
* DeathByGluttony: The Mandel-BLT, where the bacon approaches infinite density as you zoom in. What will explode first? Your heart, or your mind?
* DefaceOfTheMoon: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/429705/october-10-2013/because-shep---fox-news-deck---colbert-info-news-veranda All part of a new way to report on the news]].
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: "Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow"
* {{Detournement}}: Carrying neo-conservative punditry a few bridges too far.
* DoubleVision: Formidable Opponent. Bonus points that they're usually ColorCodedForYourConvenience- one wears a red tie (Conservative bias) and the other wears a blue tie (Liberal bias).
* DrillSergeantNasty: Encounters a [[RealLife real]] one for his bit of basic training prior to "Operation Iraqi Stephen".
* DrinkingGame:
** ''Inverted''. The "official" Colbert Report drinking game is to take a drink every time Stephen criticizes America. "That's right; he doesn't. Stay sober and vigilant!"
** At the RNC, he took a drink every time he saw an old white guy.
* DroppedABridgeOnHim: Done jokingly with Bobby the stage manager (Eric Drysdale), who was ''barbecued and eaten by Stephen'' in his farewell appearance. When Bobby's ghost came back for a guest spot like a kind of Jacob Marley, Stephen ate the ghost, too.
* DrosteImage: The portrait in the studio of Stephen is one of these, more so with each passing year. The original portrait showed Stephen standing in front and to the left of a portrait of himself. In the show's first episode, at one point Stephen came back from a commercial break standing in front and to the left of the portrait saying [[HypocriticalHumor "What's the most important thing a TV journalist needs? Humility."]] Each anniversary the portrait has been replaced with a new one showing Stephen standing in front of the previous one:
** 1st: To the left
** 2nd: To the right, arms crossed, glowering over his lack of an Emmy
** 3rd: To the left, holding an Emmy
** 4th: To the right, wearing a military uniform and haircut, saluting (in honor of his visit to Iraq)
** 5th: To the left, wearing an olive wreath on his head (in honor of the ''Report'''s sponsorship of the U.S. Olympic speedskating team), with the Grammy he won for ''A Colbert Christmas'' hung like an Olympic medal around his neck
** 6th: To the right, holding the F.E.C. ruling allowing him to form his [=SuperPAC=]
** 7th: To the left, holding a copy of his book ''America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't''
** 8th: To the right, holding his two Emmys.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:E-H]]
* EagleLand: Stephen is so patriotic he fathered a baby Bald Eagle. The San Francisco Zoo named a newly hatched male bird 'Stephen Jr.' Really, all you need to know about the show is that the eagle in the opening credits is named Liberty.
* EditWar: Colbert has publicly incited a few of these over at TheOtherWiki.
* EgocentricTeamNaming: mocked, claiming to have had a band in the eighties called "Stephen and the Colberts."
* ElNinoIsSpanishForTheNino: "Grow a pair of whatever the Mexican word is for ''cojones''."
** Another frequent one is "Mano a whatever-the-spanish-word-for-mano-is"
* EnforcedPlug: Stephen parodies this often with Doritos, once even spending an entire week on location in "Chili-delphia, the city of brotherly crunch." In a weird sort of reverse ProductPlacement, Doritos hadn't actually paid him when he started the gag, but apparently a deal has been reached involving the large exchange of Nacho Cheese Doritos.
** In [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/232016/june-25-2009/commonsense-health-care-reform-infomercial a segment about health care]] Stephen suddenly drinks and enjoys Sierra Mist.
* EroticEating: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/76389/october-05-2006/starbucks-price-hike The coffee]]. And [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/60692/march-22-2006/better-know-a-district---california-s-27th---brad-sherman The pizza]].
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/80965/january-17-2007/better-know-a-district---washington-s-3rd---brian-baird There's also the bit with the sausage near the end of this clip...]] The fact that Baird is a psychologist just makes it that much better.
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/414516/may-29-2012/who-s-honoring-me-now----peabody-awards---maxim-s-hot-100 This clip]] has Stephen discussing how he was one of Maxim's Hot 100, then [[InvokedTrope licks a lollipop]] to demonstrate.
* EvenTheGuysWantHim: While in Vancouver for the 2010 Winter Games, a camera pan over the crowd revealed one cardboard sign bearing the words ''"Marry me Stephen! (It's legal here!)"''
* EyeScream: Recommended as a way for republican candidates to stop talking about rape, after a slew of them made some questionable remarks about it. Specifically, he perscribed jabbing a pencil in their eye, up to their brain cavity and poking at their brain until thoughts of mentioning rape go away.
* {{Facepalm}}:
** Stephen [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/INAFD.jpg demonstrates the art]] while naming the trope INeedAFreakingDrink.
** In the [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/428041/july-24-2013/anthony-weiner-s-penis July 24, 2013 segment on New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner's latest sexting scandal]], while attempting to read some of the naughty text messages in question, Stephen manages the unprecedented feat of a simultaneous ''quadruple'' facepalm.
* TheFairFolk: Colbert suspects presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich of being an elf with {{Hammerspace}} pockets.
* FakeBand: Stephen and the Colberts. Then got {{Defictionalized}} and now [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/59061/february-09-2006/charlene--i-m-right-behind-you- ''Charlene (I'm Right Behind You)'']] is on RockBand.
* FanCommunityNicknames: [[invoked]] Has dubbed his viewers the Colbert Nation, and occasionally refers to them as heroes too. "And who are the Heroes? The people who watch this show."
* FascinatingEyebrow: It's harder to find a photo where he ''isn't'' doing this.
* FeigningIntelligence / ObfuscatingStupidity: Coupled with IveHeardOfThatWhatIsIt Stephen frequently uses a word correctly in a sentence, then admits he has no idea what it means. It is unclear whether the character is feigning stupidity or feigning intelligence.
--> '''Stephen:''' We need a new leader soon because America is standing at a precipice. Which, I think, is either a bonfire or a poisonous Australian jellyfish.
* FelonyMisdemeanor: The idea behind the ''Nailed'Em'' segments is that Stephen viciously attacks someone who has got in trouble for doing something completely innocent.
* LeFilmArtistique: His parody of ''Film/TheArtist'', ''[[Film/TransformersDarkOfTheMoon Transformateurs: Noir de la lune]]'', including GratuitousFrench and TheEndOrIsIt.
* FloweryInsults: Usually "[''Job description''], and [''flowery insult''], [''Person's name'']"
** "Minority leader, and septuagenarian ninja turtle, Mitch [=McConnell=]"
** "Texas GOP congressman, and human fence post, Louie Gohmert"
** "Pundit, and part-time weather balloon, Rush Limbaugh"
** "Florida congresswoman, and home-perm after model, Debbie Wasserman Schultz"
** "{{MSNBC}} host, and talking block of smoked gouda, Ed Schultz."
* {{Flynning}}: Colbert and Elijah Wood, both of them using versions of [[TheLordOfTheRings Sting]] (Colbert brandishing one given to him by Creator/PeterJackson).
* FoodPorn: One of Stephen's [=SuperPAC=] ads blasts other [=SuperPAC=]s for pandering to Iowa voters with "cheap cornography" and says Iowans deserve better, and then shows slow-motion footage of corn set to porn music.
* {{Foreshadowing}}: LampShaded in [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/183248/august-22-2007/foreshadowing this]] segment before a Richard Branson interview.
** Colbert once said, "Eventually, this show will be cancelled" in jest a few years before deciding to end it in 2014. Overlaps with FunnyAneurysmMoment.
* FreudianExcuse: It's strongly suggested that a lot of Colbert's problems stem from childhood trauma - for example, his hatred of books (a shelf fell on him). His actual fear and hate of bears stems from a recurring nightmare Stephen had as a child where bears would maul him to death for apparently no reason.
* FreudianSlip: From the last episode in 2011:
-->"It was just a simple Freudian slip. Named, of course, after SigmundFreud. I'm sorry that's my mom. Jimmy, put up my mom. I mean, my breasts. I mean, Freud.
* FrivolousLawSuit: Colbert being told by his lawyer brother the many words he can't say during the Vancouver Olympics shows (including "Vancouver" and "Olympics").
* FunWithAcronyms:
** NASA's space treadmill "'''C'''ombined '''O'''perational '''L'''oad '''B'''earing '''E'''xternal '''R'''esistance '''T'''readmill" ('''C.O.L.B.E.R.T.''') And now there's [[http://anon.nasa-global.edgesuite.net/anon.nasa-global/ccvideos/colbert_tranfer.asx video]] of it being installed on the ISS.
** Rushing to the defense of the [[http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/10/08/121008fa_fact_freeland?currentPage=all persecuted rich]], Colbert formed the '''P'''rotecting '''I'''ndustry '''T'''itans and '''Y'''achtsmen '''Party'''.
** On [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/429705/october-10-2013/because-shep---fox-news-deck---colbert-info-news-veranda October 10, 2013]] Colbert introduced his new news delivery method, the '''B'''ig '''U'''nbelievably '''L'''arge '''L'''ED '''S'''uper '''H'''yper '''I'''nformation '''T'''echnology.
* FunWithSubtitles: Specifically, ABC's actual subtitles of Marco Rubio's [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/423832/february-13-2013/spanish-state-of-the-rubio rebuttal]] to President Obama's 2013 State of the Union. WordSaladHumor ahoy!
* TheGenericGuy: In the aftermath of the 2012 U.S. Presidential election, Stephen has had trouble remembering the name of... gosh-darn-it, what's his name?[[note]]Mitt Romney[[/note]]
* GermanicDepressive: Recurring character and German ambassador to the UN, Hans Beinholtz.
* GetAHoldOfYourselfMan: "No! Get a grip Colber'''t'''!" and various alternate phrasings.
* GettingCrapPastTheRadar: Apparently, Stephen Colbert refers to his Australian '''Formula 401''' cans' contents as [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/309266/may-11-2010/australian-sperm-shortage crock juice]]. He himself finds it so funny that immediately afterwords, he has to pause to regain his composure and NOT laugh.
** There is a [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/183194/july-31-2007/smokin--pole---arc--who-goes-there- series of segments]] dealing with Arctic issues called Smokin' Pole.
** Several of his [=SuperPAC=] heroes have included: Suq Madiq, Harry Balzac, Harry Balsagna, Apoop Mapanz, and Mike Clitoris. And let's not forget the one that really made him crack up -- Munchma Quchi.
** During a segment about monkeys learning how to buy things and read sexually hypnotic billboards, Stephen somehow got away with showing a ''monkey vagina'' on live TV. Is he a censor wizard? You bet your ass he is!
* GivingSomeoneThePointerFinger: One of Colbert's favorite poses.
** Not to mention his Tip of the Hat / Wag of the Finger segment
* GlamourFailure: The enemy within segments feature a family getting their picture taken, the picture that shows up has the family replaced with aliens.
* AGodAmI: Upon introducing Wiki/{{Conservapedia}}'s Conservative Bible Project to Colbert Nation, Colbert then commanded the masses to add him into it as a biblical figure - perhaps Moses, or [[ImportantHaircut Samson]] - or...
--> "The point is, you don't have to make me God himself. But if that happens, hey - I get it."
** In doing this, Colbert unleashed an "Unintended Denial of Service Attack" and the website [[InternetCounterattack went down within minutes.]]
* GodwinsLaw: The September 5, 2012 show opened with a group of democratic donkeys chanting Obama's name as images appear depicting Obama as MaoZedong, FidelCastro and [[Film/TheDarkKnightRises Bane]]. The Democratic National Convention was referred to as [[DirtyCommunists "The People's Party Congress of Charlotte"]].
* GracefulLoser: Jon Stewart shows up to tell Stephen that he bears no ill will over the Colbert Report breaking his Emmy winning streak. Subverted because, as an Executive Producer of the Colbert Report, Stephen's Emmy also belongs to him.
* GreenSkinnedSpaceBabe: Tek Jansen's "hundreds of girlfriends".
* GutFeeling: Colbert considers this the only valid way to make a decision.
* {{Hammerspace}}: The unseen part of Stephen Colbert's desk contains [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/77580/october-30-2006/stay-the-course a fax machine, a stay the course notebook]], telephone, [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/221836/march-16-2009/stephen-s-angry-mob-will-crush-aig pitchfork]] (and presumably other AngryMob accoutrements), a Big Red Button, [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/210507/november-13-2008/rahm-emanuel-s-finger Rahm Emanuel's finger]], Abraham Lincoln's skull, a Starbucks, a ''rival'' Starbucks (now defunct), a Foot Locker, the Atone Phone for apologetic Jews, [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/164878/april-02-2008/threatdown---nipples a suitcase with John Oliver inside]], a (probably endless) supply of [[TrademarkFavoriteFood Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream,]] a washing machine, and [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/216621/january-26-2009/stephen-s-secret-prison a secret prison for terrorists until it was closed.]] As of April 8, 2009, the desk also yielded three Jewish slaves (whom Stephen promptly freed), and he admitted it also has a few Asians and a pyramid (incomplete.) [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/341502/july-29-2010/apology-box The desk also has the Apology Box.]]\\
August 2009 saw Stephen produce a desk lamp from under the desk - a desk lamp that is apparently very good at arguing about health care reform. Stephen also keeps an emergency supply of sugar, and of a four-ounce Mini Gulp (for when the Big Gulp is shrunk) in his desk. Other mysteries yielded by that treasure trove include a poll-sausage making machine and the Ham-Head of Karl Rove. And, of course, a Shofar. And probably [[YesButWhatDoesZataproximetacineDO the entire line of Prescott Pharmaceutical supplies]] - up to an including a freaking ''[[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes snake.]]'' \\
... And last but not least, he keeps a Peabody award under his desk, which he pulls out for his [[EvilGloating Heroic Gloating.]]
** As of August 2011 he has a chicken and bars of gold stored under there, along with other potential forms of currency if the economy collapses. In February 2012 he produced [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/408881/february-21-2012/colbert-super-pac---nancy-pelosi-s-ad---barack-obama-s-super-pac?xrs=share_copy two kittens]], named Whiskers and Other Whiskers.
** Any more references needed, just see the list of videos helpfully categorized under the tag "[[http://www.colbertnation.com/video/tags/under+the+desk Under the Desk.]]"
* HamsterWheelPower: Stephen once suggested puppies licking peanut butter off turbine blades could make them spin as a source of alternative energy.
* HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday: [[TransparentCloset Absolutely]], [[BlatantLies he is]]!
* [[HeavyMetalUmlaut Heńvy MŰtal ▄mlaut]]: The W°rd.
* HerCodeNameWasMarySue: Tek Jansen, a CaptainSpaceDefenderOfEarth, who has "obviously had hundreds of girlfriends".
* HeroicBSOD: Parodied with flying colors on the episode the night after the 2012 Election.
* HeterosexualLifePartners: When does Sir Dr. Stephen T Colbert DFA plan on retiring? [[Series/TheDailyShow Half an hour after Jon Stewart.]]
* HilariouslyAbusiveChildhood: [[MultipleChoicePast Varies]]. Much more explicit in ''I Am America'', including the [[FootnoteFever margin note]]
-->'''''I HAD A HAPPY CHILDHOOD.'''''
* HitlerAteSugar: Charles Manson believes in global warming.
** After Fox News accused the US Olympic team of being unpatriotic and "softly anti-American" by not being covered in stars and stripes from top to toe:
-->'''Stephen:''' You know who else wore purple? Hitler. (Photoshop of Hitler in Gabby Douglas' leotard) You just can't tell because he's in black and white most of the time.
* {{Homage}}: He carried and swung a golf club on stage in Iraq, explicitly stating it was in homage to BobHope.
* HollywoodAtheist: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/182201/august-21-2006/atheists-in-foxholes Stephen of course]] has an Hollywood Atheist view on atheists.
* HostileShowTakeover: Albeit a very brief one, on May 4th, 2010's show. [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/308736/may-04-2010/the-word---flight-risk Michael J. Fox only wanted to sell his book....]]
* HurricaneOfPuns
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/393043/july-25-2011/vaginal-puppeteering-vs--d--k-scrub Summer's Eve vaginal puppeteer ads]].
* HypocriticalHumor
** Rare for this show, this instance happened to be unintentional. On the topic of Texas governor Rick Perry's inarticulacy, Colbert said, "Some of our greatest presidents have been tongue-tied on occasion," backing it up with a clip from GeorgeWBush's [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKgPY1adc0A "Fool Me Once" flob]]. "Is that intelligible? No. That sounds like the fevered ramblings of a syphilitic brain." [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/398174/september-27-2011/rick-perry-s-debate-gaffe---arizona-s-primary-date Colbert then finished his diatribe with a flob]].
** Stephen Colbert informs SethMeyers that making fun of the news is inappropriate.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:I-L]]
* ICallItVera: Sweetness.
* IDieFree: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/full-episodes/mon-may-6-2013-robert-caro After he concludes that the government has bought all the ammunition in America]], Colbert declares that they will never get him alive and shoots himself in the head. Fortunately, the feds have already taken all his ammo.
* IfYoureSoEvilEatThisKitten: Colbert asks John Yarmuth his opinion on "kittens in woodchippers" and Yarmuth promotes this as a method of disposing of excess kittens. [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/83449/march-08-2007/better-know-a-district---kentucky-s-3rd---john-yarmuth Linked here for your perusal.]]
** Made funnier by realising that John Yarmuth was (at the time) showing [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waFeZ8n77F8 a series of political ads]] in a similar vein (and explicitly parodying some very negative ads at the time from the Other Team).
* IJustShotMarvinInTheFace: We all knew [[ChekhovsGun Sweetness was going to go off eventually]]. He later repeats the incident, accidentally shooting an audience member in the leg ''[[FingerGun with his finger]].''
* ImportantHaircut: Ordered by ''President BarackObama'' and done by ''Commander Gen. Odierno'' no less, to show that he'd really gone through (a little) basic training. [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/229768/june-08-2009/obama-orders-stephen-s-haircut---ray-odierno See it all here]].
** Looking back on it, he thinks his hair never grew back the same.
* InsaneTrollLogic: Very intentional, and very funny.
* InsultToRocks: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/177952/july-30-2008/canton-apology In the midst]] of heaping abuse on Canton, Kansas, Stephen says that converting the town to a landfill would be an insult to landfills.
* IntentionalEngrishForFunny: Happens in one episode where he discusses a Chinese millionaire who was killed by poisoned cat stew. He says that this doesn't affect his Chinese canned cat meat stew, "Colonel Tuxedo's Happy Joy Power Cat With Eating". Its motto is "Reliable Sting of Pleasure, Trustworthy of Lunch".
* InternetCounterattack: Invoked frequently. Notable instances include a campaign to get a bridge in Hungary named after him through internet voting, and against [[TheOtherWiki Wikipedia]] to enforce "wikiality."
* IntoxicationEnsues: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/167613/may-08-2008/r-i-p--albert-hoffman The "little stamps" presented to Colbert by his interns, which turn out to be LSD.]]
* IrishmanAndAJew: ''The Report'''s [[Series/TheDailyShow sister show]] is anchored by Jon Stewart (born ''Jonathan Leibowitz''). The dynamic between the two seems to tap into this old {{Vaudeville}} trope, though probably quite unintentionally. As in most such pairings, the Jewish half is [[DeadpanSnarker sarcastic]] and exasperated with [[CrapsackWorld a world gone mad]]. In contrast, Colbert (who self-identifies as Irish-American) is [[TedBaxter irrationally self-confident]] and [[TheDitz totally]] [[TooDumbToLive oblivious]] to the world around him, in keeping with the Irish half of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burns_and_allen many such pairings]]. It probably helps that Colbert's [[PatrioticFervor patriotism]] would put even [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_M_Cohan George M. Cohan]] to shame.
* IsThisThingStillOn: Stephen has had several such incidents.
** There was the [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/25082/november-08-2005/intercepted-satellite-feed Ching Chong Ding Dong incident.]]
** He also had an [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/168451/may-13-2008/bill-o-reilly-inside-edition angry rant]] very similar to Bill O'Reilly.
* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: ''The '''Colbear Repore'''''. The T in 'Report' is silent, because "it's French, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]" and because his name also ends in a silent 't'.
** Except when Stephen gets upset, when he'll pronounce it differently to himself.
-->"Snap out of it, Col-burt!"
** During the WritersStrike of 2007, when Colbert would go on the air without his writing staff, he would deliberately refer to the show as "The Col'''bert''' Re'''port'''" as a sign of solidarity with his writers.
** His lawyer brother uses the family's pronunciation of Colburt, when asked by Stephen on which he prefers.
* ItsAllAboutMe: The entire premise of the show is that it is all about the Colbert character, and the stories, the set and the introductory sequence all fuel his self-aggrandizing egomania.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Stephen Colbert the character is a jerk, but he can't help but let his heart of gold shine through on occasion. Especially when he is helping various charities. Colbert the actor has said the character really does want to do the right thing and thinks he is, but is too misinformed and arrogant to realize he has no idea what he's talking about.
* TheJester The most preominent modern example of this trade.
* {{Kayfabe}}: This is what makes it so hard for many people to "get" the show or the character. Is he sending a message this time, or is he just making people laugh? Is what the character Colbert says what the real Colbert thinks, or its exact opposite? Well, he keeps the line ''very blurred''.
** Colbert once testified to Congress, under oath. ''In character''.
** On the other hand, he'll talk to the audience out of character off-camera, "to humanize myself in your eyes before I say these terrible things."
* KickTheDog: In an effort to be declared the Worst Person in the World by [[KeithOlbermann Olbermann]], Stephen slapped a baby with a puppy. [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/238640/july-15-2009/stephen-wants-to-be-the-worst-person-in-the-world Could have been seen here]] if it wasn't for the fact that there was an unfortunate technical mishap preventing anyone from seeing it happen.
* KillThePoor: Stephen has, on at least one occasion, equated the "War on Poverty" with the "War on Drugs" and has wondered why we haven't yet made poverty illegal.
** During one banter segment with Jon Stewart at the end of ''Series/TheDailyShow's'' 10th Anniversary episode, Colbert remarked about how Stewart's show is all about supporting "the underdog" and Colbert can't believe how he ever backed that "losing horse." That's why [[IFightForTheStrongestSide Colbert on his own show now supports]] "the overdog" (specifically, big business). When concluding his point, [[http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-july-17-2006/daily-colbert---kill-the-poor Colbert quotes the Trope Namer!]]
--> Like ''[[GratuitousSpanish mis hermanos]]'' The DeadKennedys say, "Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the poor!"
** When offering solutions to help the poor and unemployed without having to raise taxes for the wealthy, Colbert suggested that rich people should buy the natural rights of poorer individuals and took Creator/JonathanSwift's ''Literature/AModestProposal'' seriously, calling for poor children to be sold as food for extra cash.
** Colbert wants the Occupy Wall Street "pity party" to end so that Wall Street can get back to their own party--snorting the ground up bones of the poor.
* TheKlan: There was an animated segment on one episode called ''Laser Klan'', featuring a group of actionized Klansfolk working for the President (Obama) to defend the nation against an alien invasion.
* KnowNothingKnowItAll: Stephen portrays himself as an extremely far-right Republican/Christian KnowNothingKnowItAll.
* KonamiCode: Stephen lays it down during his episode topics intro {{Couch Gag}}s for the [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/424176/february-26-2013/intro---2-26-13 February 26, 2013]] episode.
* TheKrampus: Stephen decides to join forces with Krampus to fight the eeeeeevil liberal secularists' War on Christmas. He offers Krampus some cookies and milk, which Krampus promptly whips with a rusty chain, then threatens to drag Stephen to Hell.
* {{Kwyjibo}}: When it is announced that Scrabble will allow proper names to be used Stephen announces his new middle name [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/269930/april-06-2010/scrabble-allows-proper-names Qxyzzy.]] In short, he's made up a word worth an obnoxious amount of points.
* LamePunReaction: Subverted.
-->'''Guest:''' Jesus said, "I am divine, and you are the branches." \\
'''Colbert:''' ...Sir, God does not approve of puns.
-->'''Colbert:''' ...But specifically it is a affront to the Christmas Trees' Lord and savior, '''Treesus'''
* LampshadeHanging: When discussing that "all things must come to an end," Stephen mentions, "Eventually, this show will be [[ScrewedByTheNetwork cancelled.]]"
* LargeHam: Oh, yes.
** Since Karl Rove refuses to come on the show, his substitute is literally a large canned ham with glasses. The resemblance is amazing.
** Creator/JeffGoldblum. This is becoming something of a RunningGag. And Colbert himself at many points can turn into one of these. He starts every episode trying to get in as many dramatic poses as possible.
* LeftItIn: Commonly PlayedForLaughs.
* LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain: Said after Stephen rehires his staff after firing them to prove that he doesn't need help.
* TheLittleShopThatWasntThereYesterday: Invoked by Stephen in [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/313508/june-24-2010/put-the-cursed-monkey-paw-down this segment.]] Stephen concludes that things keep going wrong in the cleaunup of the Mexican Gulf oil spill because someone keeps making wishes with a cursed monkey paw bought in such a shop.
* YouFailLogicForever: Colbert's own special brand of tortured logic permeates just about every explanation or piece of reasoning on the show. The lead-up to the epic MeleeATrois ran on a deeply bizarre use of "the transitive property of Huckabee". Not to mention his method of deducing everything from the truth about the Illuminati to the results of the 2008 presidential election, which consists of him free-associating words at random.
* LogicBomb: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/386852/may-18-2011/breaking-newt Stephen tried to have his Pandertron 8000 interpret some doubletalk from Newt Gingrich;]] it shorted out and decided to remove the source of illogical paradoxes by [[KillAllHumans killing all humans]].
* LOLCats: See AscendedMeme.
* LoopholeAbuse: In a [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/181202/november-15-2005/formidable-opponent---torture segment of]] ''Formidable Opponent'' where Stephen debates himself one of the Stephens argue that torture is constitutional. The constitution might forbid ''cruel and unusual punishment'' but that's not a problem according to Stephen if torture is used so often it is no longer unusual.
** Stephen's campaign to get a bridge named after himself in Hungary on the grounds that there was no rule stating the namesake of the bridge had to be Hungarian. [[spoiler: He later found out they did have to speak the language, however (and to be dead).]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:M-P]]
* MartyStu: [[invoked]] Tek Jansen, hero of Colbert's SpaceOpera novel, which is presented on the show in the form of animated shorts, and has inspired a SpinOff GraphicNovel. He's {{Badass}} to the Nth degree, is unbelievably good-looking, can bed any female he likes (even the non-humans)...and looks just like Colbert.
* MathematiciansAnswer:
--> '''Stephen:''' So do you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah?
--> '''Bobby:''' Sure.
* MeanCharacterNiceActor: Stephen Colbert is a {{Jerkass}} in character, but out of character, he's very much a NiceGuy.
* MegaCorp: Stephen often shills for The Prescott Group. A shady conglomerate with companies such as Prescott Pharmaceutical, Prescott Oil and Prescott Finance.
* MenDontCry: Except when [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/216580/january-20-2009/stephen-s-inauguration-breakdown they]] [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/343140/august-05-2010/how-to-ruin-same-sex-marriages do]].
* MonkeysOnATypewriter: A June 2006 segment discusses how many monkeys are required to produce the works of various authors.
* {{Metaphorgotten}}:
--> This of course is [[TheLordOfTheRings Aragorn's]] sword And˙ril, Flame of the West, forged from the shards of Narsil, given to me by Creator/ViggoMortensen. Now, this has nothing to do with the metaphor -- I just want to remind everyone that I have this.
* MisterSeahorse: Stephen's been pregnant at least twice on the show, [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/386087/may-11-2011/award-to-the-wise once]] by his EvilTwin and [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/366879/november-30-2010/soap-opera-product-placement once]] tragically by [[spoiler: [[SomeoneToRememberHimBy a box of Cheerios]]]].
* MoodWhiplash: Any time that a serious tragedy occurs, the tone can get pretty somber at times, in sharp contrast to the comedic aspect of the show.
** As in [[http://www.colbertnation.com/full-episodes/mon-july-25-2011-brian-cox this example]], where Stephen takes a couple of shots at an elderly gay couple[[note]]"I don't know how you're going to break this to your parents. It's gonna kill them." [[DontExplainTheJoke The couple were 77 and 85 at the time.]][[/note]] who are the first to be married in the state of New York. The mood quickly changes when he covers the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Norway_attacks#Ut.C3.B8ya_massacre massacre of 80 in Norway]].
* MoonLandingHoax: Stephen Colbert turned how his character doesn't believe in the Moon landing into a RunningGag.
** On the June 7, 2006 edition, Colbert said "Tonight's guest is a pioneer in Mars exploration. Hopefully tonight he'll explain how they faked a space landing there too."
** On the July 27, 2006 episode, Colbert said "And here's the Smithsonian Institute's Air and Space Museum, where you can see the original rocks from the soundstage where they faked the Moon landing. It's a part of Hollywood history."
** On the August 1, 2007 edition, Colbert said, "Unless you've been on the moon this week, you know I broke my wrist. And if you have been on the moon, congratulations, you are the first!"
* MoralDissonance: On [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/401093/october-31-2011/tip-wag---scott-walker-s-gun-freedom---true-north-s-healthcare-bartering a segment about low-income patients paying medical bills with their time]] (starts around 1:25), the audience reacted badly to a joke about having a perforated colon patient as a guitar teacher, but laughed at the idea of using a coma patient as a Swiffer. [[InAndOutOfCharacter Colbert's reaction]]: WhatTheHellHero
--> '''Colbert''': Oh? That's ok? A coma patient, an old man with a feeding tube. But heaven forbid we make one perforated colon reference.
* MoralEventHorizon: Invoked and parodied. In order to be named Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person In The World" Colbert promised to slap a baby with a puppy. The actual slapping is conspicuously covered up by a "[[RelaxOVision Technical Difficulties]]" screen.
* MotorMouth: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/182426/november-28-2006/the-word---ecu-menace The Nicene Creed.]] Also shown when you mention he's the youngest of eleven children: "[=JimmyEddieMaryBillyMargoTommyJayLuluPaulPeterStephen=]."
* MultipleChoicePast: Everything before Colbert started at ''Series/TheDailyShow'' is pretty fuzzy.
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/103200/september-24-2007/the-metric-system Among other things he was a midday anchor in North Carolina in 1987.]]
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/59061/february-09-2006/charlene--i-m-right-behind-you- Before he was a newsman he was in Stephen and the Colberts and before that he was a carnival roustabout.]]
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/250626/october-01-2009/2016-olympics-in-chicago---george-wendt Back in the 80's Stephen had a radio show in Chicago.]]
** When Ricky Martin came out as gay, Stephen showed that he's a longtime Martin fan by playing a (fake) clip of himself as a local news anchor. In the clip, Stephen mentions "She Bangs," which was recorded in 2000, as a "new song." Stephen actually joined ''Series/TheDailyShow'' in 1997, suggesting there may be some overlap between his fake past and his time on the show.
** He fronted the [=80s=] FakeBand [[ItsAllAboutMe Stephen and the Colberts]].
* MrFanservice: Seriously, don't believe us? Three words: Creator/JaneFonda Interview. It's all the proof you need. Invoked with Sexy Hotdog Man.
* MundaneMadeAwesome: Colbert loves this trope, and rarely passes up an opportunity to use it. The more mundane the topic, the more awesome the presentation.
** The character of Stephen Colbert himself is pretty much an example. Dramatic, exciting music, and over-the-top graphic effects to introduce...someone to present the news. On a ''fake'' news show. (Of course, after years of this, the awesome part has become more-or-less real.)
** In his relaunched segment "Better Know a District", the Congressional District he's decided to highlight this time is always described with great fanfare, and with terms like "The Fighting Twenty-Seventh!"
** No minor political squabble is too small to justify bringing out fancy graphics with gigantic explosions or the like.
* MushroomSamba: Colbert has taken blotter acid on the show a couple of times (both as a joke). The first time, he ''licked an entire sheet of 10x10 blotter acid'' and sat in his set's "fireplace" (which was really just a flat-screen displaying a burning fireplace; Colbert thought it was real). The other time it was part of a "Cheating Death" segment in which Prescott Pharmaceuticals issued what was essentially blotter acid. And before he did it, he said, "Let's take a magic carpet ride!" Both times, ''his'' smiling face appeared on the front.
* MustHaveCaffeine: Colbert's... [[FetishFuel interesting]] relationship with coffee.
* NWordPrivileges: In October 2012 when he had to say the name of Rick Perry's camp "N***erhead", he had to play charades with the audience and does a "sounds like" gesture followed by pointing to a picture of [[Franchise/WinnieThePooh Tigger]]. They eventually got to play a clip of Herman Cain saying the word whenever it had to be said.
* {{Nerdgasm}}: Stephen had a four-day Nerdgasm in December 2012 in the form of "Hobbit Week", celebrating the release of ''[[Film/TheHobbit The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey]]'', in which he interviewed Creator/IanMcKellen, Creator/MartinFreeman, Creator/AndySerkis, and Creator/PeterJackson--in which he seemed genuinely excited to talk--and decked out the whole set in Tolkien paraphernalia. There was probably [[ProductPlacement some kind of deal involved]], but no doubt [[OneOfUs Stephen]] (described by Jackson as "the biggest Tolkien geek I have ever met") would have done it regardless.
** Particularly when he lectured the movie people on the legendarium--''most'' particularly when he explains the relationship of the [[AllThereInTheManual LOTR Appendix]] and ''The Hobbit'' to Peter Jackson.
* NewMediaAreEvil. [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-collections/310359/colbert-s-best-blogger-moments?current_video=183212 Stephen takes on the bloggers with the help of Papa Bear.]]
* NiceGuy: Real-life Stephen. A suspiciously high proportion of interviews with him include some variation on "nicest man in the world", and his main worry when the show was pitched was that he wouldn't be able to handle [[MeanCharacterNiceActor playing an asshole]].
* NoExceptYes: On a proposal in Alabama to use prisoners to replace migrant workers:
-->'''Colbert''': This plan worked perfectly in Georgia ... other than the working part.
* NoisyNature: That eagle cry in the opening credits does ''not'' sound like an eagle.
* NoPartyLikeADonnerParty: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/166724/april-21-2008/global-food-shortage In one episode, Colbert discussed a particularly alarmist spin on the looming food shortages...]] [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/185581/april-21-2008/farewell-to-bobby and ended it by apparently eating his stage manager Bobby.]] (And in the meantime [[MeatOVision imagining Bobby as a giant chicken rotisserie]]). And in a later episode, he ate Bobby's ghost.
* NoGoodDeedGoesUnpunished: Stephen uses those exact words in [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/181218/november-17-2005/no-good-deed this clip about Barney Frank.]]
* NoKillLikeOverkill: "That was not stripmining; that's how I hunt quail."
* NotThatKindOfDoctor: Stephen has a honorary doctorate in fine arts. This doesn't stop him from presenting "Cheating Death", his segment on illness, health, and pharmaceuticals, with the name "Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA".
* NWordPrivileges: Since Colbert doesn't see race, not having this is one of the ways he knows he's white.
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: If Colbert ''ever'' drops out of character, even if only for a moment, and starts speaking as himself, you know what's being discussed is serious.
* OnlyKnownByTheirNickname: [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Kilmeade Brian Kilmeade]] of ''FOX & Friends'' is always referred to as "[[http://www.colbertnation.com/video/brown-haired+guy+who+isn%27t+steve+doocy Brown-haired guy who is not Steve Doocy]]."
* OpinionMyopia: [[invoked]] Played for laughs. If someone doesn't agree with Stephen, he will twist the words to make it sound like it's actually an agreement.
* OralFixation: Stephen often licks things, not to mention his pen-chewing habit.
* OscarBait: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/232655/july-02-2009/re-report---lost-treasures-of-babylon "For your Oscar consideration."]]
* OutOfFocus: Remember "Better Know a District"? Or the "On Notice" and "Dead to Me" boards? Those were fun.
* OverlyLongGag:
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/267053/march-09-2010/consumer-alert---pringles Which Pringles flavor is ''not'' being recalled?]]
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/420829/november-06-2012/the-colbert-report-election-2012---who-will-replace-obama---012 The animated intro to the 2012 presidential election episode.]]
** Why rely on sunlight for health when we have [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/426495/may-21-2013/cheating-death---sun-exposure---marijuana these great blood pressure medications?]]
* OverlyNarrowSuperlative: [[http://thecolbertreport.cc.com/videos/8jno3s/stu-varney-among-the-common-people Colbert on Fox Business]] -- "It is the first place I turn for financial news when it is left on at my dentist."
* PapaBear: [[StealthInsult Doesn't mean what you think it does.]]
* ParodyCommercial: Several examples.
** Stephen made [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/224789/april-16-2009/the-colbert-coalition-s-anti-gay-marriage-ad his own version of an anti gay marriage ad.]]
*** Which, according to Bill O'Reilly, is now playing "[[SeriousBusiness in Hell]]".
** Stephen showed [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/186475/september-30-2008/prescott-oil-loves-the-earth this commercial from his sponsor Prescott Oil.]] Parody of the WeCare commercial.
** Stephen has also made his own [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/252726/october-15-2009/the-mayo-lution-will-not-be-televised extreme ad for mayo.]] Parody of the TotallyRadical commercial.
** In a [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/182762/march-20-2007/willie-recall parody of attack ads]] Stephen attacks Willie Nelson. Stephen is not happy that Willie also got an ice cream flavour.
** Stephen shows a few [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/270035/april-08-2010/tiger-s-nike-commercial rejected versions]] of a Tiger Woods Nike commercial.
** Stephen showed [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/258566/december-15-2009/prescott-financial---gold--women---sheep this ad]] telling you to stock up on gold, women and sheep before the apocalypse.
** Stephen made [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/232016/june-25-2009/commonsense-health-care-reform-infomercial his own health care]] {{Infomercial}}.
** Everything that comes from the Colbert [=SuperPAC=].
* PassThePopcorn: [[http://i.minus.com/i0X1cMkrSQhK6.gif This .gif]] has started to show up as a response to internet drama.
* PerfectlyCromulentWord: As mentioned above, ''The Colbert Report'' coined the words "truthiness" and "wikiality", which have since caught on among people.
* PhonyDegree: While the degree (an honorary doctorate of fine arts) is real, his insistence on it getting the same respect as an [[NotThatKindOfDoctor earned medical degree]] puts Stephen's doctorate here.
* PizzaBoySpecialDelivery: ''[[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/60692/march-22-2006/better-know-a-district---california-s-27th---brad-sherman Fresh Hot Slice]]'' with Representative Brad Sherman.
* PlayAlongPrisoner
--> '''Stephen''': A zoo is nothing but monkey prison. Which means this monkey has made this zookeeper his bitch.
* PlayedForLaughs: Obviously. Every trope that isn't already a comedy trope is played for laughs.
* PoesLaw: The entire show is an example. To this day many think he's a serious far-right pundit and not just a parody, whether it's conservatives who love his show because they think he's [[http://hij.sagepub.com/content/14/2/212.short a fellow conservative]], or liberals who hate it for the same reason. May also apply to a smaller extent with moderate conservatives who think the show is about telling extremists to StopBeingStereotypical. The fact that the real Colbert generally avoids saying where he truly stands and admits to occasionally [[StrawmanHasAPoint agreeing]] with his character probably contributes, though he has suggested in the past that he's a [[http://www.nofactzone.net/2010/06/21/is-stephen-colbert-a-liberal-or-a-conservative/ liberal]] and [[http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/bgz1aa/ralph-nader Democrat]].
* PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad
-->'''Stephen''': (''on interdimensional black people'') These minorities are travelling here via some kind of black hole. I'm sorry. Excuse me. "African-American" hole.
* PompousPoliticalPundit: Stephen plays a parody of one.
* PornStache: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/79560/december-14-2006/caesar-honeybee-or-tyrone-hunnibi- Stephen is rocking the porn stache in his hypothetical gay porn career.]]
* PortmanteauCoupleName: [[invoked]] Stephen comes up with Filliam H. Muffman for Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy.
* ThePowerOfRock: His guitar duel with Wilco.
* PrecisionFStrike: Colbert uses these to expert hilarious effect.
-->'''Colbert''': ''(strokes his gun Sweetness)'' "All-You-Can-Eat" means "All-You-Can-Eat-For-Life!" We're gonna get us some banana pudding, motherfuckers!

-->'''Colbert''': ''Sarah Palin is a fucking retard!'' [[JustJokingJustification See, it's just satire.]]
** Also had one when Jimmy Fallon got his revenge on Stephen. Initially, Stephen claimed that Jimmy would match the $26,000 auction price for Stephen's portrait (which went to charity clearinghouse Donors Choose), and donate said $26,000 to Donors Choose. Jimmy replied that he had never said such a thing. Rather than turn it into another mock feud, Jimmy instead challenged viewers of both shows to donate $26,000 within a week to Donors Choose. If so, then Jimmy claimed Stephen would come on ''Late Night With JimmyFallon'' and sing [[CoveredUp Rebecca Black's "Friday"]] with The Roots. Stephen's response: WTF?!...and he later did go on Fallon's show and [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome and sing the song.]]
** The #[=CancelColbert=] controversy, in which outrage at an out-of-context tweet from his joke mocking the racist name of the Washington Redskins charity ended up [[http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/2014/04/01/snyder-wins-how-cancelcolbert-drowned-out-native-voice-154270 vastly overshadowing]] any potential outcry over the real-life racist organization and [[http://ladyhoneybea.blogspot.com/2014/03/cancelcolbert-collateral-damage-to-eonm.html led to attacks on]] the Native activists protesting the real-life racist organization for [[{{Irony}} getting in the way of the fight against racism]] [[http://thecolbertreport.cc.com/videos/35dcpo/stephen-s--cancelcolbert-mea-culpa resulted in a pissed off Stephen dropping a prominently uncensored s-bomb]] in the middle, even though "shit" is normally bleeped out.
* PretentiousLatinMotto: [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esse_quam_videri "Videri Quam Esse"]] is engraved above the (fake) fireplace - it means "[[LampshadeHanging to seem to be rather than to be]]."
* ProductPlacement:
** His 2008 presidential run was "sponsored by Doritos", his quest for a spot on the US Olympic team was sponsored by Dr. Pepper, Verizon, and (I think) Miller Lite, and of course he and the Colbert Nation sponsored the US Olympic speed skating team, with the logo prominently displayed on the skaters heads and thighs. During the Olympics, several family members of the speed skaters were wearing Colbert Nation hats.
** [[RunningGag "I have an iPad! :D"]]
** He's also used product placement as an excuse to drink real beer (well, Bud Light Lime). On television. Twice. In the same week.
** There was also the night that [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/311926/june-07-2010/charity-begins-at-11-30 Bing promised to donate $2,500 to relief for the gulf oil spill]] every time he said "bing." He was up to the challenge.
** Everytime Creator/JeffGoldblum appears he makes sure to plug ''LawAndOrderCriminalIntent'', regardless of how apropos it is or isn't... but he won't be doing that anymore; the show was cancelled in June 2011.
** In 2012, Stephen mocked sponsor Wheat Thins by reading quotes from the hilariously specific memo they had provided him to promote the product. It included such detailed instructions as "[Stephen] shall not be shown eating more than 16." He jams 16 in his mouth, when when he goes to add the 17th, the show suddenly has "technical difficulties." When he returns, a lawyer is on set and Stephen is mock-apologizing to Nabisco.
** May 20, 2013, has the Obama Scandal Booth, brought to you by Mazda. Colbert then uses several mock-taglines, such as "It's what's for dinner."
* PungeonMaster
--> '''Colbert''': (''on same-sex marriage law passing in New York state'') Folks, I am not happy, or 'gay,' that this law passed. I'm very sad, or 'heterosexual.'
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Q-T]]
* QuoteMine: the Edit Challenge.
** Colbert does a similar thing when talking about people that called Paul Ryan's speech "misleading","breathtakingly dishonest", and "world record for greatest number of blatant lies" into "breathtaking", "lead", "world", and "shone" (from "dishonest).
* RapidFireTyping: Any time he types anything, on anything. Typewriters, computers, phones, 10 keys, everything! Including smacking the keys with the back of his hand.
* RealJokeName: The crawl on the bottom of the screen showing donors to Colbert's Super PAC included a "Suq Madiq", who apparently has a father named Liqa Madiq and a mother named Munchma Quchi. Colbert proceeded to [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/393971/august-04-2011/colbert-super-pac---the-heroes-respond break character and laugh uncontrollably.]] He referred to them again in the April 4, 2012 episode, thanking Suq Madiq along with Harry Balsac and Apoop Mapanz. Munchma Quchi was mentioned yet again in the July 15, 2013 episode, where she apparently works for KTVU as the one who penned the script for the news regarding the (fake) pilots in the Asiana Airlines Flight 214 disaster (Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow).
* RaygunGothic: Tek Jansen is an AffectionateParody of the genre.
* RecklessGunUsage: In Stephen's interview with Republican Congressman candidate Jake Rush, Rush expresses some concern when Stephen shows off his gun, Sweetness, and points her barrel at his own head.
* RedOniBlueOni: Cross-series, Colbert is the red to Jon Stewart's blue. This heavily influences their shows and how they handle the same stories, Stewart acts like he's SurroundedByIdiots, said idiots being inept and corrupt journalists and politicians, while Colbert is a HotBlooded idiot who snarkily agrees with the people Stewart is criticizing. Carries over to their crossovers together as well.
* ARiddleWrappedInAMysteryInsideAnEnigma: When Stephen uncovered [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/166955/april-23-2008/the-lost-o-reilly-tapes-pt--1 "lost footage"]] from an interview with BillOReilly, Stephen introduced it as "a conundrum wrapped in a riddle covered with a spicy enigma sauce."
* RobotWar: Most times robots are mentioned Stephen warns about how they will turn against us and start a RobotWar.
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/183051/june-13-2007/threatdown---robots This]] segment of the threatdown contains two instances of Stephen's dire warning.
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: Coupled with not using spellcheck at all when Stephen [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/414595/may-30-2012/tip-wag---gay-bar-bachelorette-bans---mitt-romney-s-iphone-app sings Amercia's praises.]]
* RuleOfThree: [[InsaneTrollLogic "That's three. Three times makes it true."]]
* RunningGag: Lots.
* SadisticChoice: He had an ActualPacifist play Marry/Dump/Bomb with Iran, Pakistan, or North Korea. [[spoiler:He bombed North Korea.]] Clip found [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/256925/november-30-2009/better-know-a-lobby---ploughshares-fund here.]]
* SarcasmMode: On a meta level, 90% of the show is this.
* SayingTooMuch: Most infamously, in response to Bill O'Reilly's claim that Colbert "blew me right away".
* SayMyName:
** '''"RICKLES!"'''
** '''"BENNETT!"'''
** '''"MANILOW!"'''
** '''"[[RunningGag RAAAAAAIIINNNN]]!"'''
*** The dance-off has him saying Rain's name about five times in a row in various different ways.
** '''"BASIC HUMAN DECENCYYYY!"'''
** '''"[[KanyeWest KANYE]]!"'''
** '''"[[BarackObama OBAMA!]]"'''
** '''"GORE!"'''
** '''"[[JimmyFallon FALLON!!]]"'''
* {{Scandalgate}}: Stephen referred to Michelle Obama shaking the hand of Indonesia's Health Minister as "Handergate."
** Then there's the "[[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/426400/may-16-2013/asparagusgate Asparagusgate]]". In fact, he has covered quite a few "gates" so far.
* ScareChord: Used along with a sudden camera change while Stephen tells the nation something allegedly horrifying in order to promote his March to Keep Fear Alive.
** Also, in the January 4, 2010 episode (first after the new year), he says, "[[ItMakesSenseInContext I just hope the butt fat I had injected into my cheeks]] wasn't from the butt-" (scare chord) "...of a murderer."
* SeeYouInHell: Parodied at the end of each "Cheating Death" health segment: "This is Stephen Colbert, and I'll see you in ''health''!"
* SelfDeprecation: About his rivalry with [[ArchEnemy Rain]].
--> "Beating me in a dance-off on the ''technicality'' that he's a '''much''' better dancer than I am!"
* SelfMadeMan: Deconstructed. To prove that he is a self-made man, Stephen fired all of his staff, and shut own all of his equipment, except a desk lamp and his iPhone, which was now his camera, creating a major case of StylisticSuck. At the end of the segment, he needs someone else's help to save him from choking on a dry-erase marker cap.
* SeriousBusiness: The idea of schools banning tater tots turns into a massive rant spurred by Stephen's childhood memories about getting heinously bullied, then drowning his sorrows with a plate of tots, then finally snapping and getting his revenge on said bully by slamming his head over and over into a locker, which finishes with him breaking down and sobbing over his childhood trauma while ''munching on tater tots at his desk.''
** The rivalry between JimmyFallon over their Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor popularities, Colbert's "Americone Dream" and Fallon's "Late Night Snack". Apparently, potato chips in your ice cream is taboo.
** When sugar becomes scarce, Stephen breaks out a reserve supply and ''pours a whole bag down his mouth.''
* SesameStreetCred: Inverted, when Cookie Monster appeared in ''his'' show.
* SexBot: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/261497/january-12-2010/roxxxy-the-sex-robot On reporting about the world's first Sex Bot]] And it wasn't the Japanese, it's us! Ain't that a kick in the head?
-->"And they say America doesn't make anything anymore!"
* ShaggyDogStory: Stephen's [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/343140/august-05-2010/how-to-ruin-same-sex-marriages segment]] detailing his love affair with a [[Creator/JonStewart Jewish man named Jonathan]].
* ShareTheMalePain: After Rick Santorum compares contraception laws to the French Revolution, Colbert pulls out a banana, puts a condom on the banana, then pulls out a guillotine and guillotines the banana. The entire audience screams.
* ShoutOut: Among the people who've donated to Colbert's [=SuperPAC=] are [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Lord Sauron]], [[Literature/AtlasShrugged John Galt]], [[Series/StrangersWithCandy Jerri Blank]], [[WebOriginal/{{Inglip}} R Inglip]], D.B. Cooper, and {{Jesus}} of Nazereth.
** Another one appears in a [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/394240/august-09-2011/heatsteria segment]] about global warming where Stephen waves his arms around to mock a Republican who uses his arms to demonstrate his belief that the global climate regularly goes up and down. At 4:43 (after he appears to have finished), he finishes the "wavy arm thing" with a very quick [[DieWelle Wave]] salute, which also doubles as a {{Take That}} to the Republican party in general, given [[ANazibyAnyOtherName the nature of the Wave]].
* SignificantBirthDate: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/61793/april-18-2006/stephen-jr--hatches- The eagle named after Stephen was born on Patriots' Day.]] Stephen hopes that this will be a significant birthday and that Stephen jr. will grow up to become the first raptor president.
* SmallNameBigEgo: Parodied as part of the show's main premise.
* [[SpellMyNameWithAnS Spell My Name With A PH]]: The segment about "Stephens With A PH". The first subject was Creator/StephenKing; StephenFry will also be featured (eventually).
* SophisticatedAsHell: The December 13, 2012 episode featured ''Breaking Abbey'', the plot of ''Series/BreakingBad'' with the setting and cast of ''Series/DowntonAbbey'', complete with some of the latter series' cast members reprising their roles. This gives us gems such as:
-->'''Thomas''': Apparently, they think its the "Shizzle-nizzle".
-->'''Lord Grathan''': Soon Downton will be kicking it with mad bitches and benjamins.
* SpitTake: Lampshaded, predicted, deliberately engineered (twice in a row!) yet still hilarious.
* StalkerWithACrush: Colbert stalks his ex-girlfriend Charlene, despite her restraining order against him. So he formed a prog-rock band "Stephen and the Colberts" and wrote a song about it. [[{{Defictionalization}} It later became a song in]] RockBand.
** Apparently he is ''so'' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c9eocuEsVo over Charlene now]]...by the way, who is Alan?
* StartMyOwn: As a TakeThat to losing Time Magazine No. 1 Most Influential Person of 2007 to [[ArchEnemy Rain]], Colbert made a music video parodying "How To Avoid The Sun", where he not only danced but also [[ShownTheirWork sang in Korean]].
** Then after watching ''Film/SpeedRacer'' and realising that Rain had a leading role, Colbert wrote his own screenplay for a sequel which apparently consists of Rain getting run over by a car for two hours.
* StealthParody: Believed by some to be a parody of the left-wing lens. If so, it's a rather brilliant one, as many reading this very opinion take it to mean he's thought to be sincere.
* StealthPun: Stephen's attorney Gorlock is [[spoiler:a legal alien]].
** During a segment titled "Fear for All", Stephen talks to Aaron Hicklin, editor-in-chief of 'Out' magazine:
--> '''Stephen''': Like being gay, being British is a choice.
--> '''Hicklin''': It's a fallacy that gay is a choice-
--> '''Stephen''': This is a family show, I'd rather you not use the word 'fallacy'.
* StockFootage: There is a short clip of a roaring bear that is shown pretty much every time Stephen mentions bears, especially during the Threatdown segements.
** A clip of Michael Stipe sitting on Stephen's shelf shouting "HEY-OH!" gets used to keep up the RunningGag he now lives there.
* TheStraightMan: Jay the Intern. [[TheChewToy Poor guy.]]
* StrawmanPolitical: The character of Stephen Colbert is an extreme exaggeration of a conservative talking-head in the name of [[RuleOfFunny comedy]].
** StrawmanHasAPoint: Often done intentionally. And quite often (accidentally) by Colbert himself. Because Colbert is a professional comedian with his own talkshow, and quite a few of the guests he brings on are authors, or otherwise un-charismatic and poorly trained to defend their point from critics, Colbert comes out on top of quite a few arguments with people who are supposed to strike back at him but don't know how. Colbert noted in an interview that this was a problem in the early days of the show, no one in Washington would come on his show because people are naturally reluctant to be interviewed by someone who they know is willfully going to be ignorant and twist what they say.
** Parodied in the "Worthy Opponent" segments, where instead of cherry-picking a strawman who will cave in and agree with everything the pundit says, he ''is'' both strawman and pundit.
* StudioAudience: Obviously.
* StunnedSilence: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/391989/july-14-2011/murdoch-s-media-empire-might-go-down-the-toilet Stephen's response]] when he learns that among the victims of "News of the World" hacking scandal were the voicemails of victims of 9/11, families of British soldiers killed in the war in Afghanistan and the voicemail of a missing 13 year old girl. "News of the World" even took the liberty of deleting some of the girl's messages when her voicemail started to fill up leading to her family being given false hope that she might still be alive.
* StupidStatementDanceMix: According to some liberal pundit, Mitt Romney's stay-at-home wife has [[RealWomenNeverWearDresses "never worked a day in her life".]] Naturally, this was made into a techno remix by Stephen.
* StylisticSuck: During the July 25, 2012 episode, Stephen fired his entire staff to prove that he doesn't need help to be successful. The Word segment for that episode is filmed with a hand-camera and Stephen uses a whiteboard to show the bullet points.
* SuddenlySexuality
--> '''[[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/414120/may-10-2012/barack-obama-s-gay-blasphemy Stephen]]''': I am still reeling from Pres. Obama's announcement yesterday that he is gay. (''crowd laughs'') Now I have to assume that's the reason he supports gay marriage.
* SunkCostFallacy: When discussing torture, Stephen summed this fallacy up nicely: "[[http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/18/977051/-Brilliant-Stephen-Colbert-piece-on-renewed-torture-debate We must do whatever it takes to justify what we've already done.]]"
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial:
** Stephen's team of not-8-year-old-Malaysian-child-labours took a few days to sort through suggestions for Stephen's [=SuperPAC=].
** The Definitely-Not-Coordinated-With-Stephen-Colbert-[=SuperPAC=]
* TakeThat: This man makes his ''entire career'' out of these.
* SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: The "Ham Rove" RunningGag; Stephen can't get Karl Rove on the show, so he finds a stand-in- a rack of deli ham wearing glasses.
** The French-Canadian and lethally foul-mouthed Stephan Colbert.
* TemporalParadox: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/253948/october-28-2009/sign-off---future-stephen When Stephen wanted to lure his]] [[MyFutureSelfAndMe future self]] into the present to talk with him, he threatened to stick a fork into a toaster unless his future self came back to stop him. His future self did come back, but present Stephen went through with sticking the fork into the toaster anyway, thus killing him. When future Stephen saw that 2009 Stephen was dead, he decided to take 2009 Stephen's place so that he could still exist 500 years from now to continue hosting his show. Makes sense, doesn't it?
* TemptingFate:
** Colbert claims that it'll take more than a 4 star general to get him to shave his hair off. [[BarackObama Guess who appears to give an executive order for General Rey Odierno to shave Colbert's head]].
** Colbert asks to see some of [[ArchEnemy Rain's]] supposed "{{ninja}} [[{{Badass}} badassedness]]." Cut to a video clip of [[NinjaAssassin Rain displaying awesome ninja badassedness]].
* TheTag: "Oh, hi! I didn't see you there."
* ThisIsForEmphasisBitch: When, in a parody of Series/BreakingBad, Stephen has Vince Gilligan imprisoned in a closet, forcing him to write more episodes, he plays this trope straight in a similar manner to Breaking Bad character Jesse Pinkman.
--> "Keep typing, BITCH!"
* TorchesAndPitchforks: Stephen keeps a pitchfork in the {{Hammerspace}} under his desk and since he already refers to the StudioAudience as "[[FanCommunityNicknames the mob]]", [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/221836/march-16-2009/stephen-s-angry-mob-will-crush-aig it was only a matter of time]].
* TranslationTrainWreck: Parodied when Colbert showed Google Translate's take on a Korean article about his rivalry with [[ArchEnemy Rain]].
* TrashTalk: Stephen loves to trash talk and he is good at it.
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/166777/april-22-2008/earth-is-awesome In honor of Earth Day, Stephen participates in a little interplanetary trash talk.]]
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/70932/june-21-2006/alexi-lalas During World Cup of Soccer 2006 Stephen trash talked together with Alexi Lalas.]]
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/73146/august-17-2006/neil-degrasse-tyson Stephen and Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson trash talk spheres in the running to be new planets.]]
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/250626/october-01-2009/2016-olympics-in-chicago---george-wendt Stephen and George Wendt trash talk Rio de Janeiro, Madrid and Tokyo for competing against Chicago's 2016 Olympics bid.]]
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/79158/december-05-2006/sport-report---coach-mancini Stephen trash talks an opponent of the Saginaw Spirit.]]
** The "Cantons Controversy," anyone? Stephen turned this into an entire series--and even a song!--of TrashTalk. By way of background, Stephen initially praised Canton, Ohio, after John [=McCain=] made a campaign stop there, while at the same time taking a jab at Canton, Georgia. The next week, he made a fake apology and directed his TrashTalk to another Canton. By the time the segments had run their course, Stephen had insulted five towns or cities named Canton in five separate states, including WhereItAllBegan--Canton, Ohio, after BarackObama also campaigned there.
** Also [[ArchEnemy Rain]] has received his fair share of this:
-->"Come on, what's wrong Rain? Tell me when Korea lists the non-existent embargo on BALLS!"
-->"Hey Rain, nice jacket! My sister wants it back."
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/423832/february-13-2013/spanish-state-of-the-rubio ABC News' translation of Marco Rubio's state of the union rebuttal]] is really messed up.
* TransparentCloset: It's [[strike:heavily implied]] ''outright stated'' that Stephen (in-character) has repressed homosexual tendencies.
** [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/111138/october-10-2007/tip-wag---bruce-springsteen Baby carrots are trying to make him gay.]]
** Colbert's test for determining if one of his male employees is gay is showing him a picture of a [[WalkingShirtlessScene shirtless Matthew McConaughey]] and asking if they find it sexy. If they answer no Colbert says they are gay and in denial because a straight man would acknowledge how sexy he is.
* {{Troperiffic}}
* {{Tsundere}}: "Charlene II (I'm Over You)" is absolutely ''dripping'' with how Stephen is [[BlatantLies totally, completely]] over Charlene... not that he's 100% against the concept of a relationship with her. You know, hypothetically.
** And towards [[http://twitter.com/#!/StephenAtHome/status/114833546702630914 Jimmy Fallon]], too.
* TurnedAgainstTheirMasters: Gulpzilla, in the January 13, 2011 episode.
* TwoDecadesBehind: In the April 26, 2012 episode, Stephen talks about how he can relate to youth much better than Obama. He says things like "Turn off your {{Atari}}, Obama, because the game is over" and "They know I'm young because I always carry around a full deck of TabletopGame/YuGiOh cards and I love the Power Rangers."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:U-Z]]
* UglyGuyHotWife: Stephen expresses bewilderment at how Dennis Kucinich got married to his (taller, younger, [[HeroesWantRedheads redheaded]]) wife.
* UnfortunateImplications: Invoked and exaggerated when, after Bill O'Reilly made remarks about all [[InterchangeableAsianCultures asians being hardworking]], he took the idea and ran with it, causing the show to experience technical difficulties [[RuleOfThree three times]] before going to a commercial break.
* UnknownRival
-->'''Colbert''': ''Ted Nugent has condemned your generation as lazing and apathetic. Your response?''
--> '''NYU Student''': ''Who's Ted Nugent?''
* UpToEleven: Stephen Colbert vs. Sen. John Kyl's [[http://articles.cnn.com/2011-04-15/opinion/avlon.kyl.truth_1_abortions-stephen-colbert-facts?_s=PM:OPINION 'Not Intended To Be A Factual Statement']]
* VitriolicBestBuds: According to Stephen, DonaldTrump.
--> '''Stephen''': Donald Trump is a friend. He's my best friend. Number 1, best, greatest friend of all time. We race yachts, we trade mistresses. I call him "[[MealTicket Trump Card]]," he calls me "[[MistakenForServant Col-beer]]." That said, the guy's a boob. He looks like [[FloweryInsults a tangelo had sex with an old dishrag]]. And I can say that because I love this man.
* VisualPun: The occasional segment "Monkey On The Lam" opens with a graphic of a monkey riding a sheep while shooting a gun in the air.
* VolleyingInsults: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/340910/july-07-2010/steve-carell Even Stevphens]] with Creator/SteveCarell. Many insults were thrown back and forth. A snippet:
--> '''Stephen''': Steve, I am thrilled for your success. Hell, I'm amazed by it. Nobody who knows you saw this coming, and it is a joy to see you in person. When I just see you in your movies I forget how funny and attractive you are. Frankly, I'm excited.
--> '''Steve''': Of course you are excited, Stephen. I'm not your normal guest, people have heard of me. Stephen, I am an international movie star.
--> '''Stephen''': Yes, Steve. I suppose Canada counts as international. And yes, most of my guests are people who contribute to society. So bantering with an old friend about mindless Tinseltown pablum is a welcome vacation from substance.
--> '''Steve''': Thanks, Stephen. Is a vacation for me too. I am used to having 8 million people watch me on TV. Doing the ''Report'' is like being in the Witness Relocation Program.
** And of course with [[ArchEnemy Rain]] (via recorded messages):
--> '''Rain''': Let's just say, don't quit your day job.
--> '''Stephen''': My day job happens to be president of the "I Hate Rain Fanclub"!
* WeAreExperiencingTechnicalDifficulties: An occasional gag used for particularly outrageous character moments, such as the angry sulk scene at the beginning of the first show following BarackObama's re-election.
* WeNamedTheMonkeyJack: The stuffed moose seen in the Vancouver shows was named "Ebersol"; when he went over to NBC Late-Night he was renamed "Colbert", and now that he's going on exhibit at NBC he'll get another name because ComedyCentral and NBC are rival companies.
* WellDoneSonGuy: It seems that Stephen has some very deep approval-from-a-father-figure issues.
* WhatHaveIDone: Colbert about a "fake" gay relationship entered solely in order to turn a man off the idea of gay marriage forever.
* WhatIsThisThingYouCallLove: While Stephen talking about how the Pentagon was teaching robots about ethics, his robot Bleep Blorp came out from backstage and told him about how it had learned about ethics from its cousin, a coffee maker in the pentagon. They had a short discussion which ended when Bleep Blorp asked "What is this thing you humans call love?" and Stephen volunteered to show it, before simply pulling out its kill switch, deactivating it.
* WikiVandal: Wikiality.
* WithUsOrAgainstUs: Stephen is like this about ''everything''. [[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Divides Supermarket Into 'Cheese' and 'Not Cheese'. ]]

-->"''War '''And''' Peace''? [[CatchPhrase Pick a side, we're at war]]".
* WordSchmord: "Evolution, Schmevolution" Week.
* WorthyOpponent: Usually, the line "You sir, are a formidable opponent" is said by Colbert to Colbert in the eponymous segment. But [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/171135/june-03-2008/george-will George Will]] earned the right to be called that by Stephen.
** The genuine Colbert also admitted in interviews to gaining a lot of respect for K-Pop artist [[ArchEnemy Rain]] after the dance-off, saying that he knew he was "in the presence of a master".
* WorstNewsJudgmentEver: The show did a segment covering how a man in Athens, GA saying it was "too hot to fish" became a story in that town's newspaper, and somehow became a story in ''The New York Times''.
* WritingAroundTrademarks: "[[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/264535/february-22-2010/vancouverage-2010---ed-colbert Exclusive Vancouverage of the 2010 Quadrennial Cold-Weather Athletic Competition]]".
** He relentlessly mocked the NFL's notorious jealous guarding of its trademarks by "shifting one letter." Behold coverage of the "Superb Owl"!
* WrittenInInfirmity: When Stephen broke his wrist, he milked it for humorous effect by pretending to become addicted to his painkillers and [[MushroomSamba delirious from overdosing]], and made sure to call attention to this "Wristrong" (Wrist Strong) bracelet at every opportunity.
* WrongInsultOffence: While covering the Asiana Airlines Flight 214 crash, Stephen made mention of an incident in which the fictitious pilot names "Sum Ting Wong", "Wi Tu Lo", "Ho Lee Fuk" and "Bang Ding Ow" were broadcast on the news.
-->'''Colbert:''' I don't care who confirmed these names! It is wrong! I mean, "Wi Tu Lo"? "Bang Ding Ow"? This is a ''Korean'' airline; [[BaitAndSwitch those are Chinese names!]] That's racist, ok! And if you're going to do a racist joke, at least get the ethnicity right! Like Captain "Park Ma Plen Tu-Sun" or "Ha Yu Lan Dis Tang"!
* YeahShot: Parodied at the end of [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/429910/october-23-2013/i-tried-to-sign-up-for-obamacare---health-care-navigators the "I Tried to Sign Up for Obamacare"]] segment. Colbert celebrates not getting insurance by happily leaping into the air, and the scene freezes... and then the scene plays again and he falls painfully to the ground.
* YesButWhatDoesZataproximetacineDO: Parodied in the "Cheating Death" segments (which open with a ChessWithDeath sequence where Stephen distracts Death and moves the pieces), where Colbert advertises sponsor Prescott Pharmaceutical's cure-all drug whose name is usually a variant on "Vaxadrine." Side effects include "minor heart explosions", "speaking in tongues", "braintooth", "tracheal meerkat colonies", "carcassing", "ADHDEAD", "[[ShoutOut Mind of Mencia]]", and "involuntary {{Narnia}} adventures". Also growth of teeth.[[note]]Often in your mouth![[/note]]
** When going through a (mock) vetting by Clinton vetter Cliff Sloan in an attempt to get a position on BarackObama's cabinet, [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/210799/november-19-2008/stephen-s-vetting-process---cliff-sloan-pt--2 Stephen is taken to task for these endorsements]].
* YouCanPanicNow: If there's fear to be mongered, Stephen's the one to do it. It's pretty much the point of Threat Down. Kinda {{Deconstructed}} at one point, where a failed terrorist attempt caused most of the media to call the bomb pathetic. Colbert then reminds everyone that they ARE scared out of their gourds "so the terrorist has succeeded and therefore doesn't have to prove his point by trying another attack".
* YourMakeupIsRunning: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/216580/january-20-2009/stephen-s-inauguration-breakdown The inauguration of Barack Obama caused Stephen to cry with massive amounts of mascara running and snot hanging from his nose.]]
[[/folder]]

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